Equilibrium
by YourResidentFreak
Summary: Bella's equilibrium had been damaged and she fully intended on restoring it once more...Starting with Alice and Rosalie Cullen.
1. Detention: The Prologue

Detention. Fucking detention.

For _chewing gum._

Fuck you, modern society.

Bella was not pleased when she walked into the detention classroom. She was fuming. Not only was it for the most trivial thing in the world, but it was two minutes before the bell rang for the end of school. Bella slammed her bag down on the desk, scowling furiously. She huffed and yanked the chair back, relishing the cringe on the teacher's face when it screeched as it skid across the floor.

Bella knew she had no logical reason to be upset with the woman as she wasn't the one to give the detention, nor did she particularly look like she wanted to be here either. However, there was no logical reason for her to have the damn detention in the first place, so Bella was only returning the favor.

"Ms. Swan, could you please be a little quieter?" the teacher tentatively requested and Bella's face flamed as she realized the only other two students in detention with her were snickering softly on the other side of the room.

_Can you pretty please __kiss my ass_? Bella thought, regarding the woman with a heated glare.

She looked like she wanted to flinch and Bella sighed, remorse overwhelming her.

"Yeah, sorry," she grumbled, laying her head on her bag as the girls across the room continued snickering.

"Alright you three, I have to leave the room for about 30 minutes to go to a meeting. There will be no talking, sleeping, etcetera..."

_Wow. You're leaving the room for 30 minutes? That's what, over half the detention time? Not that I want to talk to whoever the hell those giggling idiots over there but still...__Not a smart plan. _Bella's inner ramblings were cut off as the teacher exited the classroom. She realized the silence was what was bothering her. The giggling had stopped.

Finally.

"Well, seems like Ms. Swan is a bit upset..." an angelic voice said softly, breaking the silence.

Bella's head came up quickly, like a dog that had heard an interesting noise. She turned towards the voice and her heart stopped beating.

She was in detention with Alice and Rosalie _Cullen_, with the hottest girls in Forks. She was in detention with her wet dreams, with two of the most notorious predators Forks had even known.

Alice and Rosalie Cullen were one of the most talked about subjects ever to touch upon the dreary little town.

The main reason being that they were lesbians.

The secondary reason being that they quite often got into every single girls pants that caught their fancy. Girls liked to talk about it and say hateful things about them, that they wouldn't be one of the ones who succumbed to the two, wouldn't be another notch in their bedposts.

It was those girls that often were notched in the next day.

Alice and Rosalie were known for liking a challenge.

However, as many girls as they had taken a liking to, their eye had never fallen upon Bella. As this realization sank in, Bella felt a slight rejection and hurt.

_They'd take any girl but me,_ Bella thought, her eyes shutting briefly in self disgust before opening again to stare back at them.

Alice and Rosalie were sitting at the table across from Bella, as they were in the Chemistry classroom. Alice, with her short, messy sex hair, was staring at Bella with a soft smirk on her face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alice drawled, head resting in her palm and her elbow on the desk. Rosalie rolled her eyes and popped her_ gum_. The bombshell blond had her head leaned back and her eyes slipped shut with her arms crossed.

"Um..." Bella immediately dismissed the dull resentment that Rosalie's gum had instilled in her and turned her eyes to Alice's gold ones. What a peculiar color. It was another reason the Cullens were so famous in Forks.

Alice continued to stare, unwavering.

"I was chewing gum," Bella said warily and wanted to curl up in a little ball of embarrassment when Rosalie gave a derisive snort and Alice started laughing. Bella sighed, turning from them and burying her head in her arms.

She was so pathetic. She couldn't even form an impressive lie. Chewing gum. Bella's fury at the unfairness returned for the stupid punishment. Her stomach twisted in knots at the mocking laughter of the girls she masturbated to on a regular basis.

Yes, Bella was the third confirmed lesbian of Forks, only she was regarded as a weird little freaky loner instead of a sex goddess.

_Story of my fucking life,_ Bella thought, hating herself.

"Aw, Bella! No, c'mon, we're only goofing!" Alice called as Bella turned her body away from them. "Bella..." Alice said a little softer when Bella gave no indication of lifting her head or even acknowledging that she had spoken.

"Don't take it so personally, God. We're only laughing cause it's so trivial compared to why we're here," Rosalie snipped, hating self pity more than trying to hurt the girl. It in fact, was her way of trying to bitch slap her out of it.

Alice scowled and pinched her companion who glared but didn't otherwise respond to the reprimand.

Bella lifted her head slightly, keeping her face wrapped in her arms with only her eyes peeking out. Alice was looking at her with an apologetic grin, one filled with puppy dog eyes and an innocent pout. Bella's heart melted slightly and Rosalie's aloofness didn't sting...as much.

"It's cool. I know it's stupid. So why are you guys here?" Bella inquired, surprised at her ability to form three complete and not so embarassing sentences in their presence.

Alice's not so innocent grin turned wolfish and even Rosalie smirked, eyes still closed.

"We gave that whiny Jessica chick a reason to quit her bitching," Rosalie stated.

Alice's eyes twinkled and she turned towards Bella, giving the conversation her full attention now that it had turned to something she quite liked to talk about.

Sex.

Bella was oblivious.

"What, you beat her up?" Bella asked, giving a nervous chuckle and immediately hating herself for how weird and stupid it sounded.

Alice and Rosalie snickered.

"Beat her up? Jeez, are you really that naive?" Rosalie scoffed in disbelief. Bella blushed, her stomach twisting again.

"Shut up, Rose. In a way, we did beat her up. We beat her _pussy_ up, if you wanna look at it that way. She didn't seem to mind too much," Alice slapped Rosalie's arm quite naturally as she responded to Bella. By the tone of her voice, Alice was quite obviously remembering the event and relishing it with her tell tale playful smirk.

Bella's face flamed at the word pussy. She swallowed thickly, trying to pass the lump in her throat away so she could form a coherent response instead of wetting herself to the fantasies of Alice and Rosalie "beating up" Jessica's...Yeah.

"Oh," Bella squeaked and Alice and Rosalie were laughing again.

"Gosh, Bella, you look so embarrassed. Did you really not get it? Well, still, it probably wasn't a smart idea to take such a loud girl in such an obvious area..." Alice said thoughtfully, tilting her head.

"Taking anyone on the principal's desk is never a smart idea," Rosalie added, though her smirk had not left her face.

Bella closed her eyes, hating her obliviousness.

"I um...Yeah. You guys do that a lot," she almost whispered, feeling inferior.

"What? Have sex? Get caught having sex? What are you implying?" Alice cried in mock offense. Bella blushed again and Rosalie rolled her eyes at her antics.

Alice smiled softly at Bella's shame, leaning her head into her hand again.

"So I take it you're a virgin," Alice plainly stated, eyeing Bella in a way that made Bella feel warm and very, very nervous.

"W-What..I...N-no...I've...I've done stuff," Bella stuttered out indignantly but only served to make herself feel even stupider when Rosalie and Alice laughed again.

"Chill. A lot of people like virgins. It's like being the first in a new car, or the first to wear a glove, making it snug and tight to fit _you_..." Alice continued on, quite obviously enjoying Bella's vast reserve of shades of the color red.

Bella coughed. "I'm not," she insisted weakly and Rosalie scowled, turning her body towards the conversation now.

"How far have you gone?" Rosalie demanded, eyes locking onto Bella's and her whole demeanour changing to aggressive instead of passive aggressive.

Bella blushed like mad.

Damn it.

God fucking damn it.

Why had she said that? Why couldn't she accept the fact that she hadn't done anything, not even kissed someone?

_Great. The first time they finally actually talk to me, even realize I exist, I screw it up. Of course I do. Awesome. Now the two most gorgeous, amazing women get to find out I'm a never been kissed nobody loser virgin. Fuck. _Bella could only blush and mentally bash herself for her stupidity. She gawked and hated herself for doing it, because she looked like a dying fish, opening and closing her mouth like that.

_I can't even form a proper lie!_

Bella wanted to curl up and die at Rosalie's condescending, triumphant smirk.

"That's what I thought." With that, Rosalie turned away again, mission complete and Bella closed her eyes in pain. She turned away and lay her head on her arms again, feeling hot tears press at the back of her eyes.

She was a nobody. Who would want to kiss her, let alone touch her like that? She had no friends either. What could Alice and Rosalie Cullen ever want with her? That's right, nothing.

_Because I _am_ nothing_, Bella thought to herself, pressing her lips together hard to keep from breaking down.

"Rosalie," Alice hissed and there was a loud thud and a yelp from Rosalie.

"What? You know it's fucking true!" Rosalie could be heard snarling back.

"You can be such a..."

Bella didn't listen to the rest of the conversation. Alice's pity hurt just as much as Rosalie's scorn. She kept her face guarded by her arms and let the tears flow freely, where they couldn't be seen.

"Bella?" Alice's beautiful voice said softly and Bella nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand gently touch her back.

She said nothing, simply trying not to hyperventilate.

_She's touching me! _Bella's brain screamed.

"Bella, it's okay if you are...In fact, it's better than being a slut like the rest of this whore house of a school..." Alice was whispering softly, and now she was rubbing slow circles on Bella's back.

Bella felt like she was going to explode.

"It's not," Bella's voice cracked slightly and she hated the pitiful little sniffle that followed.

Alice looked to a guilty looking Rosalie for help. Alice searched Rosalie's eyes but Rosalie shrugged helplessly. Alice didn't know how to comfort people. She knew only one way to make people feel better. So she tried.

"Well...If it bothers you so much...We could help..." Alice whispered, leaning down to Bella's ear, changing her tone from sympathetic to sultry.

Bella stiffened when she felt surprisingly cool breath caressing her ear and Alice's other hand on her shoulder.

"W-what...?" Bella squeaked, lifting her head and turning it to stare, dumbstruck, at Alice. Alice's trademark smirk was in place and her eyes were half lidded.

"You heard me," Alice whispered, tilting her head and lifting her hand to wipe the tears from Bella's cheeks.

_What, what, what?_ Bella's heart was pounding a million miles a second._ No way. She is totally just screwing with me..._

Bella couldn't help but lean in to the soft touch of Alice's cold hands. Cold hands weren't really a surprise in Forks, but Alice's were a tad colder than usual. Bella had expected them to be warmer, what with the activities they often took part in.

Bella could even make herself blush sometimes as that thought ran through her mind, along with the tons of others streaming around.

"But...I..." Bella's eyes locked on Alice's golden ones and her breath caught.

They weren't gold anymore.

They were _black_.

"You're prettier than you think, Isabella Swan," Alice said in a throaty voice, still caressing Bella's half turned face with her cool hands.

Bella's panties were soaked.

"I can help you...We can help you..." Alice repeated, leaning in closer, tilting Bella's head even further back, straining her neck slightly but only increasing Bella's want. Their noses were almost touching and Bella's mind was screaming.

_She's going to kiss me. What do I do? Do I close my eyes? Do I kiss her back? Shit!_

"You just have to let us," Alice said, her voice suddenly normal and Bella could have sworn her eyes flashed back to gold in an instant.

Bella didn't quite comprehend the fact that Alice was no longer touching her and was now sitting next to Rosalie, watching idly and innocently as the teacher returned to the room, the clicking of the knob twisting announcing her.

"Ah, well, my meeting ended a few minutes early. I'm actually quite tired. You girls won't tell if I let you go a bit early, will you?" she said, grinning shyly at them

Alice gave her a sweet smile.

"No, mam."

"Well then you are dismissed," the teacher waved them out, turning to collect her things. As Alice and Rosalie stood, lifting their bags over their shoulders, Bella stared after them, jaw set and eyes watching them warily.

"Feel free to drop by if you want to take me up on that offer," Alice whispered as she passed by, dropping a note into Bella's lap as she did. She giggled and gave a girlish, teasing wave while Rosalie smirked lazily at her. They were gone moments later.

When Bella finally managed to stumble out and read the only two lines on the paper, a neatly scrawled address and phone number (Hopefully not Rosalie's. She was hot yes, but very intimidating.) she tried to sort herself out.

All she could figure out was that the whole thing had left her unsatisfied, confused, scared and surprisingly (read stupidly) the fact that she was extremely irritated that Rosalie had not been caught chewing gum.

Bella's equilibrium had been damaged and she fully intended on restoring it once more...Starting with Alice and Rosalie Cullen.


	2. Playing Tricks

I slowly ran my fingers up and down my cell phone, passing over the buttons again and again that would dial in the phone number scribbled on the piece of paper on my nightstand.

I had it memorized down to a T. I could put it in without looking, upside down, naked on American Idol while singing the National Anthem...

If I had the courage to do so.

I don't.

I sighed and scowled, turning over on my bed to gaze out the window. It was .

I grumbled to myself.

"Let's go, Swan...This is so stupid...Do you wanna be a virgin forever? If they weren't serious they wouldn't have given you their number...Let's_ go_!"

I closed my eyes and furiously mashed the buttons, holding my breath as I pressed it to my ear and heard it ringing.

Please pick up, please, oh please don't let me look stupid...

"Hello, this is Dominoes, would you like to-"

Fuck you!

I hung up and cursed myself and Alice and Rosalie.

I knew I should have seen that one coming. Should have never gotten my hopes up. I hate them. I hate them both. I peeled my eyes open to glare at the trick number I'd put in...

Only to realize it was nowhere near the number on the paper.

Damn my clumsiness.

"It's a good thing I didn't call up Ryan Seacrest..." I grinned, letting out a shaky breath and shaking my head. I fell back against my pillows, every bit of courage I'd managed to scrounge up completely vanished. My heart was still pounding furiously.

What was I thinking? It's not like they'd actually pick up...

Hell, it probably wasn't even _their _number. This whole thing was stupid. I was just the freaky kid they'd decided to have a little fun with to liven up detention.

Well fuck that.

I crumpled up the paper, rolled over and switched off my lamp. I glanced at the clock.

It was 7:00.

Whatever. It's not like I have anything better to do than sleep on a Thursday night. It's not like I have _friends_.

* * *

The next day I was groggy and moody from crappy sleep. I threw on whatever felt the most comfortable which turned out to be a plain brown T-shirt, faded and torn jeans with my ugly green jacket that none the less kept me warm.

It also accentuated my shitty looks, but hell, that's just_ my _opinion...

Oh wait! No it's not! That's everyone's opinion!

Dear sarcasm, how you sting me so...

Needless to say, I was not a happy camper when I walked into school. Rosalie and Alice's prank still irked me from the night before and I wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and stay there.

I made it through my first six periods and was fingering the stick of gum contemplatively in my pocket as I walked into biology.

Yes, I do remember the shit it got me yesterday. But that was only because I wasn't being careful, right? So if I just be careful I can get rid of the awful taste lunch left in my mouth. Or maybe that was the taste of iron from me biting my tongue hard enough to draw blood in shame as Rosalie and Alice glanced at me from their table with their exclusive little family and sneered.

They did this weird little stiffening thing when that nasty taste trickled over my taste buds. They kind of glared at me and I quickly moved on. Hmm. Whatever. Bitches.

I managed to make it halfway through the period and was happily enjoying my fruity gum when I got caught.

For fucks sake...

"Ms. Swan, are you chewing gum again?" the sweaty, balding teacher scolded.

"No..." I tried to swallow it quickly but only ended up choking and causing the class to bust out laughing. I blushed and tried to hide my face as I hacked it back up and spit it into the garbage can, wincing at the pain in my throat and the insults from the jocks and cheerleaders.

"Detention."

"For fucks sake, it's just gum!" I cried out. I'm not like those immature idiots that like to stick it to the bottoms of their desks for kicks!

"Excuse me!" Fatty spluttered. "Detention on Monday for your language! Now sit!"

God fucking damn it...

By the time the bell rang for the end of school, I felt like hanging myself. I walked into the detention classroom, again slamming my books and not bothering to glare at the teacher even though I felt her eyes burning into me.

I could also tell that Alice and Rosalie were here. They had a particular _presence_ about them.

"I have another meeting today girls. Behave please, same as before, I'll be back in about thirty minutes..." The teacher called as she left, not even a minute after I sat down.

Again, not such a clever idea.

"You didn't call," a familiar high, angelic voice said.

I chose not to respond to the sound of Alice's voice. Instead, I lay my head on my arms and glared at the chalkboard.

"Someone's in a bad mood again..." Alice trademark smirked at me. I was watching her warily from the corner of my eye. Yeah, you look all sweet and innocent but that underlying naughty vibe isn't so hot anymore. Nope, not after that shit you and Blondie pulled last night. Or what you tried to pull since I refused to fall for it.

"Wonder why," I mumbled, refusing to look at her.

"Is the same reason you're mad now the same reason you didn't call?" Alice said in her lilting voice.

She is just fishing for it now. She's practically_ begging _me to admit that I called that number and tell her who I really got so she can pretend like it was all a big accident and...

Just no.

"Would you kindly do me a favor," I started, lifting my head to give her my best go to hell look, "And piss off," I finished, turning to give her a pointed glare.

Holy shit, I can't believe I just told one of the Cullens to piss off. Whatever...I don't like it when people mess with me like that. I don't like when a_ny_body does that crap.

Alice's eyes narrowed ever so slightly and she raised an eyebrow. Now I don't know what it is about her eyes that made me want to crawl into a hole and hide forever or wet my panties but damn, my resolve just melted into a puddle right between my legs.

I almost flinched. Almost.

"Excuse me?" Her voice was no longer high and perky but soft and hard at the same time.

"You heard me."

My hesitating speech is so not intimidating...

The fact that Rosalie has now turned from watching the rain fall out of the window to give me a piercing look doesn't help.

"You think you and your little friend are so funny, don't you? Well whatever, I didn't even call your stupid little number. Who would it have been, huh? A sex phone line or what? A strip club? Really clever. I'm glad you have nothing better to do with your life than to pick on the weird little loner. _Classy_," I spat, trying to put as much venom into my words as her slowly tightening smirk became a full on scowl.

Especially at the word classy.

I didn't dare look at Rosalie.

I don't even know where this is all coming from. Maybe the gum situation with all my jackass peers laughing and teasing had left me wanting to lash out at someone. Repressed teenage problems really suck sometimes. Hell, I don't even know if it's true or not. I didn't _call the right number_.

I swallowed hard as she stood up from her relaxed position, lifting her head from her hand. She slowly moved towards me. My stomach flip flopped when she tilted her head slightly and I tried to follow her, turning my body so my back was to the desk.

I have a good inch or two on Alice. I, do not, however, have her build. Her sleeveless, black shirt with that delightful plunging V neckline showed just how toned her arms were as she pressed her hands on either side of me on the desk, blocking me.

Hell, even if I could take Alice, I would sure as shit rather have her wail on me than have Rosalie join the party. Looked like she was joining anyway as she slowly stood and made her way over to us.

Rosalie came around from behind and leaned over me, glaring down at me through her soft platinum locks, her hands mirroring Alice's. I swear I could feel her ripping my head off already.

Did I forget to mention that the Cullen girls are notorious for their tempers? Well, Rosalie is. Alice is only notorious for it if you actually manage to piss the little pixie off.

Which I, _of course_, have.

Alice leaned her body in as I quivered like mad, resigning not to look at the blond temptress in favor of keeping my eyes from being burned out by her gaze.

I should have never said anything...

"So."

One word. Filled with scorn and a tone I'd never heard from Alice before.

"You presume to think that we have nothing better to do than pick on_ poor little Bella _without even calling the number? You think _we're _arrogant? You think you've got it all figured out, don't you?" Alice literally hissed and I tried to look away, her coal black eyes making my heart race and my stomach clench painfully.

"Look at me," Alice growled, grabbing my chin in her index and thumb, pulling me back to face her. Alice had leaned in so close that her face was only inches away.

In any other situation, I'd be thrilled.

My bottom lip was quivering and I felt the hot press of tears at the back of my eyes. I couldn't help it. They were fucking scary. I may have faux bravado when it comes to my words but I'm a scrawny little wimp.

If they decided to beat the living crap out of me, and they had every right to do so for my unfair and insecure accusations, I might not live through it.

"Bella..." Alice's voice suddenly softened. "You...You are so sadly misinformed if you think we were trying to hurt you..." she whispered, and suddenly her voice wasn't angry and terrifying but sympathetic and gentle.

I tentatively looked up at her and shifted under her gaze, feeling small and inferior. Alice was looking at me with pity and I _hated_ it.

"Don't look at me like that," I mumbled, swallowing hard, fighting back frustrated tears.

"You are so _pathetic_ sometimes, Swan. We are not out to get you just because we're hot and relatively popular. Not everyone is like those stuck up bitches, okay?" Rosalie ground out, apparently not as swayed by my fear as Alice. I flinched at her tone and Alice's reprimand to her made me feel like a small child.

"But the way you looked at me at lunch...And how you talk to the girls who _are_ like that..." I protested weakly.

"What? Lunch? Jessica was giving us the finger behind you, and not the one she _wished_ she could be giving us..." Rosalie snorted but there was something weird about the way she said it as if she were eager to be off that subject. "And the only reason we talk to those girls is to get in their panties. It's not like we _encourage_ them and it actually pisses me off that you're comparing us to them," Rosalie continued, her voice becoming increasingly volatile, enough so that Alice glared at her.

"I just...Nevermind...This whole thing is stupid..." I mumbled, embarassed and feeling like an idiot for acting towards my wet dreams incarnate like I had.

"So...Does this mean you don't want to take us up on our offer?" Alice was now giving me her trademark smirk and I squirmed in my seat, still trapped by her powerful arms.

Uh, what? She can't seriously mean...

Not after what I said and how I acted...

"Because you thought we were trying to prank you? Because you thought we were just messing with you? Oh, Bella...You should know by now that we would never treat a lady like that...We _always _follow through..."

I couldn't think of anything to say.

Moody be the Cullen's, going from pissed to seductive in seconds...

"You didn't even give us a chance. I'm actually quite hurt," Alice pouted. God, her lips looked so full and soft...

"I...I don't..."

Brain lock.

Alice Cullen just licked her lips and lidded her eyes.

Fuck.

Me.

"So you don't want to know what it feels like?" Alice breathed, leaning in even more and I reflexively backed up, standing slightly as her nose almost brushed against mine.

She kept coming.

"What...W-what f-feels like..." I whispered, my eyes locked on her lips. She was currently teething the lower one and I felt Rosalie's eyes burning holes in the back of my skull. I kept trying to move backwards, and soon I felt the press of the desk in the backs of my knees.

"To feel the gaze of a lover's eyes filled to the brim with lust and want for you, _scorching_ you..." Alice purred and sweet _Jesus_...

My whole face was red as she kept moving forward, so much that I kept reflexively moving back till I was forced to sit on the desk where I felt Rosalie right up behind me, her face beside mine.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I do believe _Alice Cullen _is giving me come hither eyes.

"To feel your body come alive beneath another, to _twist _and _whine _and _whimper_ and _moan_ without control of yourself as another person manipulates your body like an instrument to hear your _personal_ brand of music..."

Oh. My. God.

I clamped my eyes shut as Alice's chest rumbled and her voice rasped with her words. My stomach tightened into a hard little knot. I tilted my head down slightly, trying not to gasp as I felt Alice's cool, sweet breath on my lips.

"You don't want to make music with us, Bella...?" Alice whispered, every word caressing my mouth and making me stop breathing.

I knew the two little words that would make my every fantasy and wet dream come true.

I knew them.

But why couldn't I speak them?

I trembled as I felt them on either side of me, awaiting any response.

"I..."

"Say it, Bella..." Alice whispered, and I cracked my lids open, my heart stopping and my breath catching as her blacker than black eyes swallowed me in.

They were so_ hungry_.

"Say it..." Rosalie murmured in my ear, her own silky voice sultry and lower than usual.

"I do..."

I do. With every fiber of my being, I fucking _do._

I heard Rosalie's soft scoff and took great pleasure in the fact that it could never sear me as much as Alice's lips did in that moment, crushing against mine as her hands cupped my face and held me tight, leading me downwards as she began to move atop me.

How she managed to make my mouth burn and my body nearly overheat with lips and tongue so cold, I will never know...


	3. Kissing Alice Cullen

I cannot breathe.

I cannot _breathe_.

I.

Cannot.

Breathe.

And it feels _so_ good.

Alice's lips were pressed firmly against mine and one hand cupped the side of my face while the other clutched at my side. I moaned in surprise and utter delight as she plunged her tongue inside my mouth before I could even comprehend the fact that I was making out with Alice freaking _Cullen_.

I whimpered as she dug her nails in slightly into my ribs and swirled her weirdly cold tongue inside my hotter mouth. My eyes made friends with the back of my skull as she began sucking my own silky appendage. I moaned and felt her smirking against my lips as she mounted me completely.

She settled her hips right above my waist to make up for the height difference. She ran her hands over my stomach and skipped over my breasts to cup my face. She pulled back much to my displeasure and began peppering my mouth with soft, chaste little kisses.

"You taste like strawberries," Alice murmured against my mouth and _God_, her voice made my eardrums throb in ecstasy. It was husky and rasping slightly, almost like a smoker's only less grated and without that annoying gravelly feel to it.

I was still struggling to accept the fact that this was my first kiss and my first make out session. Alice had moved her mouth down to my neck and was pressing her cold, wonderfully soft lips to my throat. I shifted, liking the feel but wishing she'd put her mouth back on mine.

It suddenly hit me that Rosalie was just watching.

Can someone say _awkward_?

I'm on my back and being necked by this gorgeous pixie and she's just looking down at us, watching.

Before I could begin to contemplate the weirdness of it, Alice was suddenly sucking on my pulse point.

My eyes quickly snapped shut and I moaned loudly as I felt her take a small bit of my flesh into her mouth and gently scrape her teeth over it. I clutched the back of her shirt, arching slightly as she passed her tongue over it, soothing what I had no doubt was a newly formed bruise. I whimpered and felt her chuckling as she did it again. There was a pool of heat in the lower part of my stomach.

She suckled on my skin then nibbled which actually kind of hurt but in a _good_ way before she slicked her tongue over that same (now throbbing) bit of flesh. I was making all kinds of small noises as she kissed back up to my mouth and plunged her tongue back inside.

I writhed as she trailed one hand over my sore and tingling neck and let the other play with the zipper on my jacket.

I'd never known kissing could feel this good. I'd always thought it would be a slimy, gross affair with lots of spit and just...ick.

So not the case.

Alice pressed her hot little body down hard against mine and started _gyrating_. I let out a startled grunt when she slipped a thigh between mine and ground against it against me.

Jesus Christ.

And what the hell is vibrating against my chest? I peeled my eyes open very reluctantly and glanced down.

What the hell?

It's _Alice_.

"Mm..Mph...A-are you...Alice, are you...mph...are you _purring_?" I gasped out as Alice furiously kissed me, hungrily biting down on my lips and tugging back, pulling them away from my teeth. I couldn't even remember what I asked her, all I knew was that her sucking on my swollen bottom lip felt great and that the vibrating seemed to increase in volume.

Fantasizing could never have prepared me for how amazing kissing Alice Cullen was. I barely knew what to do and I was purely running on instinct and hoping it didn't suck to much for her. I heard a soft zip and blushed as I realized Alice was unzipping my jacket.

"I wanna feel your chest against mine, Bella. I want to feel your breasts heaving up and down while you pant in ecstasy..." Alice groaned out and I nearly lost consciousness.

Dirty talk from Alice.

My _god_...

I'm struggling not to overheat and melt into a puddle beneath her.

She quickly pushed the damning piece of clothing off my arms as I sat up to help her. She slid it off my shoulders and ran her hands under my shirt, her freezing skin making me jump. She quickly pushed me back down and started another assault on my neck.

My head was in a whirling blur of pleasure, anxiety and fear.

Is this really gonna go _all the way_?

"So warm..." Alice breathed into my neck, going right back to that one tortured spot. I cried out softly when she bit down a little harder than before, still grinding against me. I twisted helplessly beneath her, whimpering and moaning her name softly as she scraped her nails lightly over my ribcage, making me shiver.

I feel like I'm going to explode. She's all over me, touching me, kissing me. I'm arching and making noises I've never made before, and all the while I can feel Rosalie's unrelenting gaze on us, but it only makes me hotter...

I've ruined this pair of underwear. My skin is tingling everywhere she touches, lighting me up like the Fourth of July.

I've only ever been able to imagine this pleasure, what it would feel like to touch another person, to feel them touching me. I almost can't take it when she starts rolling her hips into me, mumbling my name and still doing that disconcerting yet so delightful purring thing against my chest.

This is it.

I'm really about to have sex.

I'm really, really about to give up my virginity.

And I barely know the person I'm giving it to...

This thought makes me tense up but Alice only rubs her tongue over that aching bit of flesh she's taken such a liking to and makes my mind go blank for a moment. It wouldn't surprise me if it looked like I'd been punched in the side of my neck by now.

But I don't mind, because it feels to damn good...

I swallowed hard as she slowly began moving her hands higher, towards my chest, all the while whispering naughty things in my ear in that high, soft and rasping voice as she kissed me.

So good, it all feels so good...

What am I doing?

I can't do this...

But I want to so _bad_...

"Alice," I gasp softly, my eyes tearing up as a wave of emotions hit me like my ugly red truck outside. I grasped her shirt, fisting it in my hands and I lift my hips as I arch into her when she finally cups my breasts in her tiny, cool hands.

"So soft, Bella...So full...You have a great pair, Bells...I know you're so wet, so hot for me...I can practically _smell _you," Alice crooned into my ear and I cried out, unable to take it as she began to firmly massage me. I bucked my hips, whimpering like a little puppy as she ran her cold thumbs over my nipples through my bra, making them stiff and sending incredible tingles to my most private area.

My face was so red at this point. I was so embarrassed but I felt so good...

I wanted her to stop so much it was making my stomach hurt but I wanted her to keep going so much it made me feel like I was going to explode...

"It's okay, Bella. It's okay, I've got you..." Alice whispered, her kisses becoming less frenzied and more gentle and measured. Alice suddenly changed her pace, relaxing and stopping her rocking to a more slow, sensual, grinding roll of her hips. It was as if she could sense my distress. She softly pressed her mouth to mine, the tenderness making my heart squeeze tightly.

Until I realized that she couldn't possibly mean it that way.

No, I was just another notch in her bedpost, another score in her pocket...

To her, this doesn't mean a thing.

And I can't even begin to tell you why I'm letting her do this to me. Maybe it's teenage hormones, or my own desperate desire for positive attention, I don't know. But this means something to me. Having Alice touch me, hold me, being the first person to ever be with me like _this_, it _means_ something...

And the fact that it doesn't for her_ hurts_.

As I'm contemplating begging her to keep going and pleading with her to stop, she suddenly lurches forward, pulling her lips from mine and stiffening like a board, hands still attached to my chest but no longer groping.

I don't understand. Did I do something wrong?

I look up, my stomach dropping as I hope and pray that I've not done something so awful and inexperienced that she'd actually stop...

"Alice?" I breathe, actually startling myself at how low and husky my own voice is. I clear it and glance at her face, only to see the strangest expression on it.

Her swollen lips are slightly parted, her coal black eyes staring straight at Rosalie, who by the way, still hadn't moved.

And people call _me _a freak...

Suddenly, as if she'd been slapped, Alice jolted, shook her head a bit and then glanced down at me as if just remembering where she was.

"D-did I...W-was I...Did I do something?" I asked, almost choking on shame as my face burned hot under her gaze.

"Nope," Alice said in a normal voice and her face broke into her familiar smirk as she looked down at me.

What the fuck?

She suddenly pulled her hands out of my shirt, took a moment to grin at my hard nipples (at which I wanted to curl up and hide myself) and then pulled my shirt back down, smoothing it out.

"What are you doing? I'm sorry, I know that sucked but it was my first kiss and everything and I didn't mean to be so bad-Mm!" My desperate attempt to cover my ass for why she was apparently stopping was cut off as she kissed me short and sweet.

"Relax, Bella," she giggled, zipping up my pants and running her fingers through my hair, smoothing it out.

Wait, what?

Zipped up my pants?

When the hell did she do_ that_?

"You didn't do a thing, sweetheart. In fact, you were pretty good for your first make out session. But, I do believe we have some company coming," Alice reassured me as she ran her fingers through her own messy hair.

Amazingly (Read bizarrely) she only smoothed it a little before running both hands through it, mussing it up in that sexy bed head style of hers.

So basically, it didn't look a whole lot different.

Alice kissed me quickly once more and readjusted my shirt a little when it turned out to be so crooked it was showing off _way_ to much cleavage.

I blinked once and nearly had a heart attack when I realized Alice was no longer in front of me but pulling her chair out on the other side of the room, with Rosalie the voyeuristic psychotic passive aggressive blond right next to her.

I don't know what her deal is. Maybe she just didn't want to touch me. Not surprising.

I was still sitting on the desk, blinking rapidly when the door opened and our grumbling teacher walked in.

"Stupid Board of Directors, stupid Board of Education, canceling the meeting and what in the heck for, I don't know, so rude, so _inconsiderate_..."

She muttered under her breath all the way to the front of the room before noticing us.

Or rather, me.

"Oh! Girls, haha, I'm so sorry. I almost forgot about you. Bella, dear, what are you doing on the desk? I must ask you to take your seat," she bustled about, shooing me like a fly until I jumped back in my seat, which only agitated my already swirling and raging emotions.

I could hear soft snickering (Deja Vu much?) from Alice and Rosalie. I blushed and ducked my head, trying to distract myself by putting on my jacket.

"Well, there's only about twenty minutes left and since you girls are so well behaved I think it's fair if you're allowed to read the rest of the time. No talking, blah, blah, you know how it is..." she chuckled to herself before sitting down at her desk and putting on her glasses.

Well behaved.

Right.

We'll go with that.

Whatever helps you (and me) sleep at night.

It took me about a full minute before I realized that Alice had known.

She had _known_ the teacher was coming back.

How?

That's just not _possible_.

She'd said we had _company_ coming...

I chanced a look at Alice and Rosalie, only to see the corner of Rosalie's mouth moving in a twitchy little way. She looked like she was having a muscle spasm or something. I noticed Alice's doing the exact same thing.

After watching this bizarre display for a few more seconds, Rosalie stopped spasming and turned one of her terrifying glares upon Alice, who met it with a stoic expression.

They had an eye conversation, a nice long one.

I hate it when people do that. I do not understand how people, or usually girls really, have conversations with just their expressions and eyes.

I watched them have their little stare off for a good ten seconds before Alice _sneered_, not smirked, but _sneered_ at Rosalie.

I admired Alice's courage or more like her gall to give Rosalie a look like that. Anyone else would have gotten their face torn off. Alice, however, only got a haughty snort in response.

Rosalie turned away after that and then Alice's eyes were suddenly on me.

I flinched and tried, key word here, tried, to look away when I realized I had been caught staring as her ebony eyes caught on mine. Her sneer faded and was replaced with a real, genuine smile. A small one, but a smile none the less. No smirking whatsoever.

It made my heart swell up and my stomach flutter around, not helping my ruffled self in the slightest. I bit my lip and ducked my head and barely caught her soft tinkling laughter.

When the teacher finally dismissed us, I gathered my things up slowly. I was almost to shy to watch them leave, Rosalie glaring at me for...I don't know, breathing or whatever it is about me that makes her hate me and Alice giving me that gleaming smile.

"See you around, Bella," Alice called when they went by and as I was treated to the tantalizing bounce of Alice's ass in those tight, no doubt designer jeans, I was reminded completely of what had happened.

As if I had been struck, my breath left me and my knees buckled. I fell back into my chair, mouth gaping slightly, my eyes locked on the door through which they had made their exit as I clutched at the desk and ignored the teachers hesitant call of my name.

I just had my first kiss.

I just got to second base, or well, let someone get to second base with me.

I had almost gone all the way with _Alice Cullen_.

I don't know what just happened. I don't know why Alice is so cold. I don't know why her eyes change from golden to black. I don't know why Rosalie just watched everything happen, and I certainly don't know how Alice knew the teacher was coming back. I don't know what they want from me or why they're bothering with me in the first place.

All I know is that it took all the strength in my body to pull myself up from that seat and leave the room. All I know is that it took all my focus to not drive off the rode as I got lost in remembering it. All I know is that it took every bit of concentration to pull in to the drive way without crashing as my mind picked itself apart in a frenzied whirlwind of thoughts.

All I know is that I did not, however, waste an ounce of my willpower in trying not to masturbate when I got home, only stopping when Charlie arrived two hours later.


	4. Knowing is Half the Battle

When Monday came back around, I was still buzzing. I was floating high up on my own little piece of heaven. My cloud was fluffy and warm.

Walking into school, I actually felt good. I didn't duck my head when the popular girls went by. I didn't shy away from the popular boys. Nope, I walked those halls with my head held high and a slight smile on my face.

Well that didn't last long. It lasted until a guy from my math class made a comment on the golf ball sized hickey on my neck that I had neglected to cover up.

So yeah, it wasn't to awesome when I had to flee into first period with my hand covering my neck and my face flaming while people pointed and laughed.

I dreaded the rumours, so my smile was gone when I sank into my seat and tried to ignore the whispering.

But on the inside? I still felt great.

I'd gotten my first kiss.

I'd even gotten to second base.

With_ Alice Cullen_!

I tried to calm down when I realized I was actually fighting off a squeal during the boring speech my professor was giving on...whatever he was talking about.

I wasn't paying attention.

All through the day I was giddy like that, though my head was still whirling furiously. I hadn't caught a break since I made it home Friday. I was constantly plagued by thoughts of Alice Cullen, memorizing every little detail about our kiss. How cool her skin was and how nice it felt against my own feverishly hot skin, how full and smooth and_ soft _her lips were, and let's not forget how amazing it felt when she cupped my breasts in her tiny, strong hands...

I tried not to get to lost in those thoughts as I already had plenty of ruined pairs of underwear at home and didn't need another added to the pile.

Anyway.

It was at lunch period that this high came to an abrupt halt. I was searching for my usual empty, isolated table and trying to ignore the staring at my neck when I spotted the Cullen table.

Normally, I'd glance once, get my fill of their beauty and continue trying to go unnoticed by the rest of the school.

But today wasn't exactly normal.

I froze up when Alice immediately stood up and her eyes caught mine. They were a gorgeous honey color today. And when she smiled, my heart didn't just skip a beat, it just completely _stopped_.

She looked so gorgeous.

I hesitantly returned her smile because I immediately felt inadequate in my usual jeans and T-shirt attire and my mousy brown hair didn't feel as managed as it had this morning when I was still Alice drunken.

Alice had just started to move, her eyes still locked on me when Rosalie caught her arm. The blond caught her attention and I watched as the smile dropped off of Alice's face and her gaze locked on Rosalie's.

Rosalie was glaring furiously at her and saying something that Alice obviously did not like. Alice and Rosalie were really heating up in their conversation when Jasper, their brother reached out and gently put a hand on Alice's arm from his sitting position.

Alice turned on him quickly, looking ready for a fight. But her features softened as he spoke, his perfect jaw working and his gentle eyes disarming her.

After a moment Alice looked up at me and gave me a sad smile before sitting back down.

I almost wet myself when the rest of the Cullens turned their gaze on me.

Um.

Um.

Um.

That's pretty much all I could think. Rosalie was glaring with all her might at me and making me want to run away. Jasper was watching me with a curious gaze. Edward looked like he was trying not to laugh and his crooked smirk made me blush like mad. Emmet looked apathetic.

Did I forget to mention that all of the Cullens are notoriously gorgeous? Jasper with his strong eyes and soft golden curls, Edward with his crooked grin and chiseled jaw, and then Emmet with his huge, powerful build and boyish smile.

I quickly went to my table, shied away, Alice's sad smile haunting me all the way.

What had I been thinking? That she'd still talk to me? That she was going to come invite me to _sit with them_? Hell, I'd even entertained thoughts of us _dating_. I must be insane. All of that had been out of pity. Rosalie knew it. I know she did. She was just making sure Alice didn't accidentally lead me on with her polite nature.

I felt like shit. I'd gotten my hopes up and should have known they'd only be crushed in the end. I refused to look at them, but didn't eat as I sat there, lost in self loathing.

My first kiss had been a pity kiss.

Fucking great.

Awesome.

I put my head in my hand and fought tears off for the rest of lunchtime and quickly fled when the bell rang, not bothering to look at anyone as I did.

* * *

At the end of the day, I remembered I still had detention. I wanted to smash my head into my locker as the final bell rang. Hopefully Alice and Rosalie wouldn't be there this time. I don't think I can take Alice's apologetic looks and Rosalie's hateful sneers.

Guess getting kissed by Alice Cullen is only great if it's for real.

I sighed as I made my way down the hall, trying to turn off my thoughts and ignore my emotions.

I hate being a teenager.

As I neared the classroom I heard heated whispering from inside. I shrugged my bag higher on my shoulder and being the curious and so very nosy teenager I am, peeked inside through the cracked door.

It was Alice and Rosalie.

The teacher was nowhere to be found, probably late.

I swallowed and after briefly contemplating whether or not it was okay, decided I didn't give a shit and listened in on their argument.

"Think about what you're doing, Alice!" Rosalie hissed. They were glaring at each other, Rosalie making furious hand gestures to emphasize her point and Alice seemed to have her arms crossed.

They were standing at the front of the room, Alice with her back to the teacher's desk and Rosalie with her back to the student desks.

"I know exactly what I'm doing. Who are you to lecture me on mates, huh? Of all the girls you've been with-"

"That's different! I wasn't getting attached!" Rosalie interrupted and Alice snorted, her usually cheery features drawn into a sneer. I was torn between liking it for who it was aimed at and thinking it was inappropriate for her.

"You are so full of shit! She_ means _something to me and you just can't stand that, can you? You're _jealous_," Alice snapped back.

"Besides, don't act like you haven't had your fair share of girls!" Rosalie continued as if she hadn't heard Alice speak.

"Two! _Two_, compared to the_ fifteen _you sampled! Angela and Jessica and_ both _of them were mistakes! At least I had a reason to be with them! What's _your_ excuse?" Alice proclaimed.

Alice has only been with two girls? But I thought...

"Listen to me, damn it! You'll _kill _her if you do this!" Rosalie raged, her voice rising and she took a step towards Alice. My eyes widened. I wondered if Rosalie really would hit Alice. Her clenched jaw and tight fists indicated she at least wanted to.

I don't know what they're talking about.

I also don't know where that _growl _came from.

It didn't sound human.

Then I realized that Alice had made the noise. Rosalie's golden eyes seemed to darken for a moment before they shut and she took a step back. She breathed in deeply what I assumed to be a calming breath.

Jeez. I've never seen those two go at it. I always thought they were on really good terms with each other. Guess not.

When Rosalie's eyes suddenly snapped open, they were looking straight at me.

Jesus fucking Christ on a stick, I nearly had a heart attack when Rosalie started violently and her gaze bore into mine.

"Look, Rosalie. I know this is going to be hard for us, but I _love _Bella and the monster inside me agrees...What are you look...ing at..."

Alice suddenly whirled and I took a step back as she trailed off and her eyes caught on mine.

Now it was hard enough taking Rosalie's stare but Alice's made me stumble backwards.

There was only one thought running through my head.

I am _busted_.

"Bella..." Alice whispered and I flinched at the sound of my name coming from her mouth. Her sweet voice made my knees weak even after all that had happened.

"Bella, dear, what are you doing out here? Go on in, sweety. I know detention is no fun but we've got to get it over with!"

I nearly drove my elbow through the teacher's face as her voice appeared next to me and I jumped five feet in the air.

I rushed into the classroom, trying to convince my heart that no, it cannot break out of my chest and that I'd really appreciate it if it would stop attempting to do so. I gave the two girls watching me with hawk eyes a huge berth, moving to my seat at the left side of the room, closest to the door.

"Alice, Rosalie, take your seats please!"

Why is that teacher so freaking happy? Can't she sense the mood in here?

I sank into my desk as they watched me all the way to theirs, both of their expressions unreadable.

Thankfully, the teacher had no meeting today and sat down at her desk as she should. They finally looked away and it was not lost on me that their mouthes were doing that irritating twitching thing. They weren't even looking at each other but staring straight ahead.

Something tells me that it's not touretts but that they're actually talking like that.

Or maybe I'm just bat shit insane.

That seems to be more likely.

It took me a good minute and a half of hiding my face in my arms to remember what Alice had said.

_Look, Rosalie. I know this is going to be hard for us, but I_ love _Bella and the monster inside me agrees..._

She loves me. My heart stopped and my breath hitched, my head coming up so fast I almost broke it. It couldn't just be a coincidence. No, not two days after kissing me. Especially not with their reactions.

And the monster inside her agrees? What was up with_ that_?

One thing is for sure, there is definitely something off with them. Especially Alice.

Cold, hard skin...

Golden eyes...

And Alice makes noises...

She purrs and she growled like a threatened dog when Rosalie moved at her earlier.

There was something going on here. I was no longer feeling like a pity case but wondering just what the hell was _really_ going on.

I like Alice. Yes, I do. Her soft, high voice and beautiful smile. I like her. How can I not?

She's _Alice Cullen_.

But do I love her?

I mean, we'd kissed, sure, but _love_ her? That was moving a bit fast.

How could she love me, anyway? There's nothing special about me. I'm quiet and shy and my hobbies involve reading, listening to music, and masturbating. I'm an ordinary teenage reject.

And she says she loves me.

Bewildered, I chanced a peek at her. Almost instantly she turned to me. I blushed but held my ground. Her lips were pursed and I heard Rosalie scoff and vaguely out of my peripheral vision watched her roll her eyes.

For a long time, we just locked eyes, each trying to read the other. Her gaze was soft and curious and mine was unrelenting and burning.

Just what is going on with Alice Cullen?

I want to know.

I _need_ to know.

I refused to back down, wondering where my courage was coming from. Four days ago I would have squeaked and hid my face but now?

Alice couldn't pay me to look away.

Slowly though, her eyes left mine and I blushed like mad when I realized she was checking me out. Her eyes trailed over my lips, pausing and making me swallow hard, where her eyes instantly roved over my neck. She spent an unusual amount of time raking her eyes across it, so much that I tried to tuck my head and hide it, thinking there must be something wrong with it.

She just lowered her eyes and let them fall over my chest.

Jesus.

I feel like I'm going to overheat. I'm blushing so hard I feel like my face is on fire.

I squirmed, unsure of whether or not I wanted her to keep looking.

She seemed to understand that she was making me uncomfortable. Alice lifted her gaze and reconnected her eyes with mine.

And then she smirked her signature smirk.

My god...

She licked her lips and winked once before slowly turning away and remaining indifferent to the scowl on Rosalie's face.

I looked away when their lips started twitching again.

I remained in a daze for the rest of detention. And when the teacher finally, thirty five minutes later dismissed us and Alice stood up and made her way towards me, I decided I did not want to have this imminent conversation.

I've always been quiet and minded my own business. My life was uneventful. Alice Cullen was shaking it up and I realized I did not like it. She was screwing with my peaceful, no doubt boring life and I didn't know how to deal.

So before she could even open her mouth, I grabbed my bag and fled the room, ignoring the way she raised her eyebrow and Rosalie's snort.

I still ached to know what Alice Cullen was about. That hadn't changed. But I was afraid of knowing. Instinctively, I was beginning to understand that there was something bigger than myself going on here.

I was terrified of finding out what it was.

So I ran.

I ran all the way out to the parking lot, not stopping until I reached my truck. As I looked down to rummage through my bag and find my keys, my heart pounding, I looked back up.

And came face to face with Alice Cullen.

What the fuck!

My eyes widened and I gasped. She was leaning nonchalantly on my car, arms crossed. She wasn't smiling, smirking or anything really. She was expressionless.

"Alice..." I breathed.

I'm going to need to steal some of Charlie's blood pressure medicine if things like this keep happening.

And how the hell did she get here before me?

Wait, she _didn't_.

She hadn't been there when I looked down to get my keys...

Before I could think of something to say, Alice said, "We need to talk," grabbed my hand and began leading me across the parking lot to her car. I was so confused out of my mind but I couldn't seem to get my mouth to work. I didn't see any of the other Cullens anywhere, despite the fact that they usually all left together.

I didn't know what else to do, so I helplessly followed her like a lost puppy. And when she opened her car door for me, I got in wordlessly. Even when she got in on the other side, started her car and peeled out of the parking lot, I did not protest.

And when she turned to me as we sped down the road, going who knows where and gave me her charming smile, I hesitantly smiled back.

So much for escaping.

But really, what else could I do?

She is, after all, Alice Cullen...


	5. Knight in Shining Skin

We rode in silence for about five minutes. It was starting to get to me too.

And by the way, Alice drives really, really fast.

Like,_ illegally _fast.

By the time the school was out of sight, Alice was going 65 in a 40 zone. I was still wary of speaking, still full of insecurities and unspoken curiosities, so we continued at this speed regardless of the fact that I was starting to feel the G forces.

Alice kept her eyes on the rode, her lips pursed slightly and her hands gripping the wheel tightly. She looked to be deep in thought, seemingly unaware of my predicament.

Or maybe I'm just imagining things and there really is no predicament, she's just taking me for a ride to tell me the kiss meant nothing...

Or maybe she's really a serial killer and driving me out of Forks to do away with me...

Or maybe I have a really overactive imagination and I should probably learn to control it better...

Yeah, I think I'll go with that last one.

"Do you mind if I turn on the radio?" Alice suddenly asked, making me jump slightly.

Uh...?

"It's your car..." I replied, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.

"Right," she muttered, still avoiding eye contact. I raised my eyebrow as she reached over and clicked on the radio before taking her iPod and beginning to cycle through the songs.

Did I forget to mention that she's doing all this while still keeping her eyes on the road?

I shook my head and went back to staring out the window, watching the trees blur by. Why does Forks have so many_ trees_? It's so freaking repetitive. They never end. It's just so...gloomy, sometimes.

A real mood downer.

Alice finally decided on a song and when it came on I was surprised at how it sounded. Instead of some irritating low bass thumping my ear drums into oblivion with a rapper who couldn't form a word to save his life, it was piano music.

And if I wasn't mistaken, it was Beethoven.

O_kay_...

I couldn't stop the slight smile coming on to my face.

"I never thought I'd meet another teenager who actually liked Moonlight Sonata..." I hesitantly said as the soothing music flowed into the car. I was still nervous as hell.

And subconsciously had not ruled out the whole serial killer thing.

"You know this?" Alice responded, glancing at me and I could see a small smile coming to her face. "Seriously?" she added, disbelief all over her face.

"Yeah. Beethoven's the bomb," I remarked then immediately closed my eyes, mentally beating myself over the head with a hammer.

Who still says something is 'the bomb'?

I don't think I could possibly get any lamer.

My blush says otherwise.

I heard Alice's soft, tinkling laughter and cracked my eyes open.

"Yeah, he is. I'm glad I found someone else in this piss poor little town who can appreciate the classical taste of music," Alice answered and my eyes widened.

"I know, right?" I agreed. I was so relieved that the silence had been broken. And thrilled that Alice was into the same kind of music as me.

We fell into a much more comfortable silence after that, both of us just enjoying the music as we rode on to wherever Alice pleased.

Add one more thing to the list of things that make Alice Cullen weird.

Beethoven, golden eyes, animal noises, pale and cold skin...Oh yeah, and that little teleportation shit she'd pulled earlier.

"So weird..." I mumbled under my breath.

"Excuse me?" Alice laughed and my eyes nearly popped out of my skull.

_I _could barely hear me.

How did _she_ hear me?

That's it.

That is _it_.

"What_ are _you?" I cried, so frustrated and exasperated with all my doubts and insecurities, my curiosities. I turned in my seat, straining against the seat belt and giving her a pleading look, begging her to tell me what was going on.

Alice started at my sudden outburst, eyes pulling from the road and locking on mine. Her lips were slightly parted and her eyes searched mine furiously. She was tense, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Bella," she whispered, eyes softening.

And then her head whipped back, and suddenly my whole world was spinning as Alice mashed the brakes, yanking hard on the steering wheel. I jerked forward, my seat belt bruising me but probably saving my life as I got a death grip on the dashboard. We swerved in a full 360, my neck burning painfully from viscious whiplash as we came to a screeching halt.

When I finally had the strength to open my eyes, my heart hammering, I found the reason for Alice's insane ass stop.

A deer.

A fucking deer was quivering in the middle of the road, caught in the headlights of the Volvo.

My chest was heaving and Alice was as still as stone.

And then she lurched at it, pushing forward in her seat and growling ever so softly.

The deer bolted almost instantly and Alice let out another soft growl, watching it until it disappeared into the thick vegetation on the left side of the road.

"Like_ that_!" I screamed, utterly fed up with this nonsensical bovine fecal matter.

Alice jumped again, turning to me and my childishly pointing and accusing finger. She looked completely bewildered.

"People don't do that! People don't pull some Mission Impossible car stunt and then growl like a rabid dog at a deer that they shouldn't have been able to see in the first place!" I screeched and Alice flinched.

"Bella, please! Calm down!" Alice yelled back, leaning back in her seat and putting her head in her hand, as if she should be the one stressing out right now.

"No! I will not calm down! Tell me what is going on!" I insisted, pinned back against the door and watching Alice like she were an animal about to attack.

You cannot just fray on my nerves like that and expect me to be calm. No way. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to relax as Alice bit her lip and slowly turned to look at me.

Alice slowly let the car inch forward, and we began driving again. I clenched my jaw, contemplating telling her to stop and let me the hell out.

The girl who I'd gotten my first kiss from wasn't human.

She just couldn't be.

Call me insane, but that was just...

Just not human.

After a few moments of tense silence and Alice once again passing the speed limit, she spoke.

"Bella...You are so freaking observant," she sighed, running her fingers through her messy hair as if she could smooth it out.

"No. You're just really freaking obvious about...Whatever you are. Look, just...Please, tell me what's going on. I'm bugging out here," I pleaded, still backed into my little corner of her car. I feel like I'm going to bust from excitement and anxiety. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it's going to burst from my chest.

Alice closed her eyes, breathing in deeply.

She didn't open her eyes again.

Did I mention she's driving?

"Alice! Watch the road!" I gasped.

It made my stomach flip flop when she only chuckled, her familiar smirk gracing her face for the first time today. I tensed up as she murmured, "I don't need to."

Jesus.

I swallowed hard before breathing out, terrified of the answer, "Why not?"

She bit her lip, lifting her head and turning her powerful golden gaze on me.

"Guess," she implored, watching me, unwavering.

I couldn't help it.

I scowled.

"Don't, _please _don't play this game with me right now," I ground out through clenched teeth.

I could not deal with that. I just couldn't.

I already feel like I'm in some nightmare instead of the usual wet dreams that involve Alice Cullen.

She stared at the road which she apparently did not need to watch. I could tell she was deep in thought, probably mulling over whether or not to tell me the truth or off me right now and leave my body in the endless forest of trees surrounding us.

I still do not, by the way, know where we are going.

It doesn't help my anxiety.

"I knew this was coming. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I just didn't think it would be so _hard_," Alice finally said, voice cracking slightly.

"Knew what was coming?" I mumbled, still watching her warily.

"Bella...Oh, Bella, I just don't want you to hate me," she whimpered and my heart very nearly broke at the sound of her voice. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying.

I'll tell you right now, nothing is more heart breakingly sad than to watch Alice Cullen's face fall into pure sadness and watch her beautiful honey eyes shine with tears.

I suddenly felt like a complete asshole.

I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings. I mean, I'm freaking the hell out, but I didn't want to upset her or anything. I didn't really think anything could upset Alice Cullen. She's always so happy and infuriatingly chipper...

But I was wrong. My stupid assumptions had gotten me shit again. I'm judging her and I'm making all the wrong judgements.

I feel like such a hypocrite.

"Alice," I said softly, relaxing into my seat as she bit her lip and refused to look at me. "Alice, I could never hate you. I just...I'm confused, you know? Just, please, don't cry..."

I don't think I'll ever forgive myself if this angel were to burst into tears. I'd probably off myself for her.

Alice glanced at me and I could see a reluctant, bitter smile on her face.

"I can't cry, Bella," she chuckled but sniffed regardless.

Of course she can't cry.

Silly me.

I sighed in exasperation and Alice sobered up slightly.

"Vampire," she whispered, again avoiding looking at me.

I didn't really register what she said at first.

"What?" I grunted back as I readjusted my uncomfortable position so I was properly seated.

"_Vampire_," she said louder and my eyes widened.

"What?" I repeated, louder this time as I finally began to catch on.

"Vampire!" Alice yelled, this time with her being exasperated.

"It wasn't that kind of what!" I defended, staring at her in disbelief.

Vampire.

Vampire.

Vampire.

I finally had my answer. I finally had the reason for all of the disturbing and weird qualities that Alice Cullen possesed.

And I refused to believe it.

"No way," I argued, my voice firm. I just couldn't fathom this.

"What? I'm not lying," Alice huffed, actually looking irritate by my skepticism.

Vampires don't exist. Vampires live in nightmares and fairy tales. Vampires do not walk the earth in the form of Alice Cullen.

"Vampires aren't real. I'm not stupid okay. Just, do you have some sort of _disease_ that makes you...I don't know, you?" I continued, my voice rising in volume as I tried not to completely and utterly freak the fuck out.

"Bella," Alice growled, sounding agitated and frustrated.

I'm sorry, but I really cannot comprehend this.

"Vampires have fangs!" I cried, trying to find some sort of evidence to contrast with her extremely fitting answer. I still knew how stupid and hysterical I sounded.

Alice Cullen did not have fangs. There are two things every vampire must possess, one of those beings fangs.

The other a thirst for blood, but I'm not ready to address that just yet...

Alice rolled her eyes and turned to me. She pulled her lip back, almost snarling and with a soft sigh I watched her canines drop and sharpen.

I quickly turned away, trembling in my seat.

"Vampires are also incredibly fast, have cool, pale skin and are incredibly strong..." Alice murmured, staring at the road. We had steadily increased in speed as this conversation took a drastic turn. "I know this is hard for you to wrap your head around..."

"You think?" I muttered under my breath and couldn't find it in myself to be surprised when she heard me.

"We also have super hearing," Alice said, grinning slightly.

"Prove it," I suddenly stiffened in my seat and gave her a challenging look.

I need some sort of solid, non-argumentable proof that Alice Cullen is a vampire, or I am going to remain in denial. Because this kind of thing just does not happen.

"Oh my God...Are you serious? You don't have enough _proof_ already?" Alice exclaimed, turning to give me her own disbelieving look.

"No," I held my ground.

"Get out of the car."

"Excuse me...?"

"You don't need super hearing to hear this, Bella. Get out of the car."

I watched her, suddenly realizing that I may have crossed a line. I can't believe she's kicking me out of her car in the middle of nowhere on a road surrounded by nothing but trees and more trees.

But she's slowing down the car.

I shook my head and got out, slamming the door angrily. Sue me for being just a tad skeptical about you being a vampire.

Alice however, got out with me. I watched her over the hood as she bent down.

Confused, I raised my eyebrow.

Then yelped as the car was suddenly over my head, held up, on _one finger _by Alice.

On her pinkie no less.

"Believe me now?" Alice drawled, looking smug. I stumbled back, staring at it.

"Yes," I whispered, my breath catching. She put the car back down and then motioned me to get in. After a few seconds, I did. We started off again, going even faster than before.

The awkward silence had returned.

Alice Cullen is not human.

Nope.

She's a vampire.

Awesome.

My first kiss was with a _vampire_. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

"This is insane," I said into the silence as Beethoven continued to lilt out of the speakers.

"Tell me about it," Alice agreed, leaning her head into her hand as she rested her elbow against her door.

"So...Why did you kiss me?" I inquired slowly. There was nothing else I could think of to say. It was one question that had not been answered in a million, but one that I wanted answered the most.

Why had one of the most beautiful creatures to ever walk this earth decide to take an interest in _me_?

"You're my mate," Alice said without hesitating.

Vague much?

"What do you mean?" I investigated further, pulled in by the damning curiosity, despite my whirling thoughts. I hope fate doesn't see me as a cat...

"It's complicated, but Carlisle, my father, says that every vampire has a mate. If the mate is a human...Um, well, the blood of the human will call to them much more powerfully than any other humans would. The human will be nearly irresistible, will be craved for deeply by the vampire. Along with lust, strong emotional pulls will radiate for the human..." Alice trailed off as my eyes got wider and wider with each word.

Jesus.

Alice Cullen wants to suck my blood.

Alice Cullen_ lusted _for me.

"I...Okay. Okay, this is too weird..." I shook my head, my body tensing up once more.

"Bella, when I kissed you, I acted on something I've been trying to ignore since the day you walked into that school. You smelled like heaven to me, and I tried so hard not to...Not to fall on you right then and there. The thing about vampires finding a human as their mate is that...Quite often, the vampire ends up...Killing their mate out of blood lust..."

Great. _Great_.

"So you wanted to kill me? Awesome."

"Bella, it's not _like _that," Alice scowled. She looked like she was going to say more but we had pulled to a stop, finally.

"Where are we?" I asked, staring up at the huge mansion we'd pulled up to, immediately on guard in the unfamiliar surroundings.

"My home," Alice said. "You need to talk to Carlisle. I can't...Bella, it's getting really hard for me to be around you. Ever since that deer invoked my instincts...You need to go ahead and go inside. My mother will meet you at the door." Alice urged me, her eyes closing and she breathed in deeply.

Invoked her instincts...

I don't know what that means or what that implies, but I suddenly feel like bolting from the car. As soon as this touch of fear hit me, Alice's whole demenour changed.

"But, Alice..." I protested, unsure of whether or not it was okay for me to just waltz up to her door with her just sitting in the car.

"I'll be there in a minute just...Oh God, you smell _so_ good..." Alice suddenly moaned into the car, unsnapping her seatbelt, her eyes still shut.

Crap. Red alert, red alert!

Isabella Swan, get out of this car right now!

It felt like something had suddenly entered into the air, and it made my senses tingle, my eyes water...

And I was suddenly wet. Like, soaked between my legs.

What the hell...

"Alice, what are you doing?" I squeaked as Alice tilted her head back and opened her mouth, hissing softly. I watched those canines drop again, becoming fangs.

"Get out, Bella. Go, _now_," Alice snarled, her eyes opening and glaring at me.

Oh God...

Her eyes were pitch black, hungry and wanting. I squirmed, fumbling with my seatbelt. I felt like my Fight or Flight instinct was kicking in, and I was heavily biased towards flight at the moment.

This must be what she looks like when she's...When she's hunting for blood. Her chest was rumbling and as my eyes locked on hers, I froze, every muscle in my body pulling taut.

Shit, shit, shit!

Everything inside me screamed to run away, that Alice was a natural predator of myself and that she would kill me...But I'm throbbing between my thighs and whimpering softly, my head and my sex warring with each other...

What the fuck is she doing to me?

"Bella..." Alice groaned, her body beginning to lean forward. I tensed, backing up as much as I could as she began to crawl over the arm rest, eyes locked on my throat.

She was locked on the kill.

_I'm the kill._

I finally found the sense to open the door and unsnap my seatbelt. As I tumbled out of the car, terrified, Alice pounced.

With incredible speed, Alice latched onto me, pinning me to the ground and furiously kissing me as one of my legs managed to get tangled in the seatbelt and keep me trapped.

I jerked, once, twice, but it only seemed to excite her even more as she growled and caught my wrists, pinning them above my head as she straddled me.

"So good...Mine..._Mine_..." Alice rumbled, her lips pressed firmly to mine. I was slowly losing the will to fight as whatever it was filling the air began to make my head swim with that undeniable lust for her, that inability to run.

I whimpered against her mouth, subconsciously understanding that it was a move of surrender, and not a smart move as Alice snarled and kissed me harder.

"Alice, _NO_!" I heard a voice cry and Alice was suddenly ripped from atop me and thrown away. I was crying by now, and with watery eyes and a slight sob, I looked up to see my savior.

They weren't riding a white horse.

They weren't wearing a suit of shining armour.

My savior was Rosalie Cullen, nude, soaking wet, wearing nothing but a grim scowl and a look that could kill.


	6. Gimme Gimme Never Gets

Contrary to popular belief, despite the fact that I have a great view of Rosalie Cullen naked and dripping wet, my first instinct was not to jump her bones.

This may be because she's giving off a _I will fuck your shit up right now _vibe. As I'm laying on the ground staring up at her perfect body, the thick lusting haze in the air began to dissipate. In its place, a different feeling began to take over.

It was fear. It was pure, unadulterated fear.

Something deep inside me, something primal and instinctual was telling me that I was caught in the middle of two very angry, very upset female predators about to get_ down_.

"_Mary Alice Brandon_," Rosalie hissed, nearly spitting the name from her mouth. I swallowed hard, turning my head to look at Alice who was lying twenty feet away. She was slowly standing up, shaking violently. Her head was bowed, her arms held limply by her side and her fists clenched tight.

"She..."

I strained to hear the rasping rumble of words rolling off of Alice like physically incarnated rage.

"Is..."

I tensed as Alice's whole body stiffened violently and her head whipped up, glistening fangs bared and lip curled back in an animalistic snarl.

"_MINE_!"

With a guttural roar that shook me to my very core and made every nerve inside me scream run, Alice tore across the Cullen yard and slammed into Rosalie with all her might. I may not have even registered the fact that she had moved if the crack like thunder of her hitting Rosalie didn't nearly bust my eardrums.

My eyes went wide and I let out a terrified yelp as they went flipping through the air, Rosalie snarling her challenge as they went flying back over the top of the Volvo. The screech of metal screamed in my ears as they took the top of the Volvo with them.

They toppled down as I furiously tore at the damn seat belt diligently hanging onto my ankle. The thunderous cracks were coming harder and faster and I could hear the two vampires growling and snarling at each other.

I finally tore my ankle free and staggered up, heart pounding. I looked over the mangled remains of the Volvo and whimpered as I watched the scene unfold.

They were on the street, mere blurs moving back and forth. There would be a brief, almost nonexistent pause in which I could see either Alice slamming her knee into Rosalie's ribs or Rosalie burying her fist in to the pixie's nose.

Each strike was illustrated with a deafening clap. For the quick moments that I caught a glimpse of their faces, I could see the way they looked more animal than human. Fangs bared, claws out, hissing and spitting and roaring at each other.

All of a sudden, Alice seemed to get an opening. I watched her skid back from the force of one of Rosalie's terrifying punches and as Rosalie lunged forward, Alice twisted her body down. She brought her leg sweeping up as she spun, bringing her right heel crushing into the side of Rosalie's face.

And just like that, with the signature thunder crack, Rosalie went crashing away into the forest.

"Fuck," I breathed as Alice's chest heaved and her chest rumbled violently and she stared at the gigantic path Rosalie had left as she went bye-bye.

"Fuck!" I cried, one hand at my mouth and the other pressed against my chest.

Vampires do not _play_. Jesus.

My god, they were powerful. There were tiny little holes in the concrete where they had slammed down against each other.

And I just now remembered they have incredible hearing.

Which means Alice is now focused on me without the potential threat of Rosalie.

Yay!

Not.

She turned her head, saw me, and then blurred her way on over to me. I let out a squeak and stumbled backwards.

"Alice! Stop!" I shouted as Alice continued towards me.

"Mine._ Mine_. My Bella," Alice rumbled out. She reached forward and caught my left bicep in her iron grip. It didn't hurt but it wasn't comfortable either.

"L-let go...Alice, please," I whimpered. She paid me no mind and reached out with her other hand and...

Proceeded to grab my crotch.

What the fuck!

I mean I know she's in vampire mode right now but seriously? What does this accomplish?

"_Mine_," Alice repeated, inky black eyes boring into mine as she squeezed me, confirming her point that I was indeed, hers. The exquisite and totally inappropriate pressure made my knees buckle as she pulled me into her body, kissing me hard. I moaned into her mouth as that thick, liquid like haze began to fog the air, making my fear dwindle down.

That instinctual feeling was back.

Alice saw me as her mate, her territory, her's. Rosalie was an intrusive threat, violating Alice's territory when she pulled Alice away from me. Alice saw Rosalie not as a protector, but a threat to her mate.

Alice thought this was a battle to keep me.

Just as I was succumbing to this powerful lust, I heard a low growling noise that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my stomach twist painfully.

Alice must have heard it too as she pulled her mouth away from me turning to look towards the forest.

I think I wet myself a little. And this time, Alice has nothing to do with it.

Rosalie was back and she was pissed the fuck _off_.

I watched as the vampire goddess stepped out from the trees, covered in mud, twigs and leaves but still looking drop dead gorgeous.

And scary as hell.

She was walking fast and all semblance of heroism or protectiveness had left her eyes. This was no longer about saving me but ripping Alice to shreds.

With a deafening roar, Rosalie was at us in an instant. Alice shoved me back and away, which sent me flying through the air to land ten feet away as Rosalie cracked into her.

This time it wasn't a battle. It was a slaughter. Rosalie wrapped her fingers around Alice's throat, as Alice gagged and clawed at her wrist, still hissing. Rosalie snarled in her face, lifted her straight up in the air and then slammed her back down.

"Alice!" I cried as a huge crater formed in the ground from the force. Rosalie reached inside it, snatched a dazed Alice up by her throat again and then turned to the side a little.

She then slammed her back down again, Alice weakly crying out. The sound of pain tore through me like a bolt of lightning.

I may be utterly fucking terrified out of my mind right now, but I still care for Alice. A lot. The sight of her being slammed into the ground again and again, going a little more limp each time made my heart squeeze painfully and my eyes overflow with hot tears.

"Stop it! You're killing her!" I screamed, pleading with Rosalie. Rosalie either ignored me or didn't hear me as she continued using Alice like a rag doll. I could see tiny little cracks appearing around her neck where Rosalie continued to put pressure on her throat and a myriad of them beginning to spiderweb across her cheeks.

"Please..." I whispered as Alice made a choked, whimpering sound and went totally limp in Rosalie's grip. Rosalie glared into her closed eyes for a few seconds before throwing her like she weighed nothing away from herself.

Alice didn't make a sound as she tumbled down the driveway and into the street, laying there without moving.

No.

No, _please_, no.

I may have not believed that I loved Alice but...

I feel like my heart is tearing itself to pieces. My stomach feels like it's filled with acid, burning, dissolving. A wave of agony poured over me as I stared at her lifeless body.

"No..."

She's not dead.

Alice _can't_ be dead.

I've barely known her for three days but I suddenly can't bear the thought of her being...

_Gone._

"You fucking bitch! What did you do to her!" I screamed at Rosalie, managing to pull myself up and stumble towards her.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't care for Alice. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't be screaming at a very angry, volatile vampire.

In hindsight, I don't really give a flying fuck.

Alice is hurt.

Alice might be...

No.

_No!_

"You hurt her! You hateful bitch!" I cried, sobbing as I neared the trembling blond. Rosalie turned her piercing gaze on me and my whole body went cold.

There was no lustful fog as Rosalie glared into my very soul and made my heart stop beating.

There was just terror.

The age old instinct to flee from one's natural predator began to overwhelm me.

Just as I believed that Rosalie was going to reach out and rip my throat from me, I saw a blur out of the corner of my eye.

Oh, what_ now_?

The blur reached us and suddenly I was staring at the back of a woman.

"Rosalie. Go inside._ Now_."

The woman spoke, though I couldn't see her face. Her voice held a powerful quality to it, one that clearly said _do not fuck with me_.

Rosalie growled very softly, refusing.

"_NOW_!"

Rosalie jolted, whimpered once and then fled towards the safety of her home.

Holy shit. Someone just made Rosalie Cullen whimper.

Someone just made Rosalie Cullen _run away_.

Who_ is _this chick...?

Everything was happening way to fast. First I find out Alice is a vampire, then my vampire gets into a brawl with her adoptive sister because she was interrupted in her potential biting/mating ritual, and now this random woman shows up and scares off Rosalie.

Dizzy, I fell back on my ass, breathing hard.

This, _of course_, alerted my presence to the woman.

She turned swiftly and I was met with hard, golden eyes. She must be bipolar however, because as soon as she saw me her face lit up with a soft smile.

More bipolar vampires. Just what I need.

"Oh! You must be Bella. Here, let me..." the beautiful woman reached out to help me up or ya know, chomp on my neck and I flinched back.

"I won't hurt you. I promise," she whispered, hand extended.

I couldn't bring myself to trust her at the moment, though her kind expression told me to do exactly that.

"Alice," I gasped instead as the battered pixie stumbled up the hill, cradling her throat and moaning weakly.

She's okay. She's alive...Er, still back from the dead...Not re-dead, dead again... She's still breathing...Well, still not needing to breathe or...Whatever.

She's okay. That's the general idea. Okay as anyone can be when Rosalie Cullen goes ape shit on their ass.

The woman turned and sighed as she caught sight of the battle worn girl...Vampire. Whatever.

"What have you two gotten into now," The mysterious woman muttered under her breath and caught Alice as she stumbled forward, collapsing into the woman.

I totally feel out of the loop.

But, in regards for the safety of my own person, I'm not saying shit till I know what the hell is going on.

"Mommy," Alice whimpered into her neck, clinging to the woman.

Mommy?

This chick is Alice's _Mom_?

"You silly girl, what were you thinking? Come on...Shh, shh, I know. Let's go inside..." The woman cooed into Alice's hair as she supported her weight. "Bella, come on in and we'll sort this mess out..."

Why does sorting this mess out in my head consistently end with me dead or Rosalie murdering me?

No, I'm good thanks. I'll stay out here away from the psychotic vampire.

"Come on."

No.

Fuck, why am I following her?

The only explanation I could come up with is the fact that the intense need to know that Alice was really okay still tugged at my heart.

* * *

When we entered the house, I was stunned by it's beauty. Cliche as it was, I expected coffins and burning crosses with "No Garlic Allowed" signs. Nope, it was very open and light. Very cool.

Overactive imagination, I command thee to obey me.

Ha, right. The day my imagination doesn't run wild is the day Rosalie Cullen gets down on one knee and proposes to me.

I followed the mysterious woman cradling Alice to her side into what seemed to be some sort of parlor, living room kind of area deal. She lay Alice on the couch and softly kissed her forehead, whispering to her as Alice groaned.

I watched, stunned as the cracks slowly began to seal and dissolve back into the perfect, polished skin I was so used to seeing.

"So, Bella. My name is Esme and it is so good to finally meet you. Alice can't stop talking about you!" 'Esme' said, walking towards me and enveloping me in a huge hug to go with her beaming smile.

Weirdo.

However, her mood was contagious. I tentatively smiled and patted her back awkwardly.

"I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. Alice usually has better control of herself but...My, you do smell nice. No wonder she says it's so difficult. I couldn't imagine having to deal with my mate having such a potent smell, especially with the mate connection!" Esme bubbled, pulling back and looking for all the world like her two daughters had not just had a crazy vampire mating showdown outside.

"Um. Yeah."

Articulate, Swan. Way to impress your potential girlfriend/mate's Mother.

"Mom!" I heard Alice whine like a very stereotypical teenager being embarrassed in front of their friends.

"What, dear? I'm sure you've informed her haven't you?" Esme responded, indifferent to her daughter's tone of voice.

"Yes, but you're embarrassing!" Alice whined again, sitting up, looking and sounding perfectly a-o-fucking-kay.

Vampires apparently do not hurt like humans. They just crack like humpty dumpty and then magically heal those cracks with like two minutes of rest.

Cool.

"Oh, hush. Now tell me what happened you two. It's not like Rosalie to lose control like that," Esme said, offering me a seat on the love seat while she sat next to Alice.

I hesitantly glanced at Alice and she caught my eyes. We held stares and I could see the worry and concern written all over her face.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I would never have...I'd have never hurt you. I swear," Alice breathed, standing up and taking a step toward me.

I didn't know what to say. She looked so forlorn and broken up about this. But she _had_ held me down and proclaimed her ownership of me like a caveman...And I_ had_ feared for my life, even if I had feared for hers as well.

Jeesh.

Rosalie answered for me.

"Your mouth at her throat says otherwise," Rosalie spat as she waltzed down the stairs, hair damp and fully clothed, scowl firmly in place.

Insert my moment of complete and utter panic.

She wasn't snarling like a rabid animal anymore and I detected no hint of fangs so I managed to relax, at least a little.

Actually, that's a lie. I wanted to flee the room or dive behind Esme, but both seemed..Inappropriate, so I just sat there stewing in my own anxiety.

Alice whipped around and her lips parted, a soft hiss leaving her. Rosalie only glared back as Esme put a calming hand on Alice's shoulder as she stood up as well. Clearly this animosity was not going to go away just because they weren't attacking each other outright anymore. I had a feeling it was going to be a lasting thing, considering how possesive Alice was and how angry Rosalie was...

"Enough. I will not have you two bickering. Now, Alice, explain to me what happened. Rosalie, keep your distance," Esme instructed in that authoritative tone of voice. Rosalie went quiet but still looked mutinous as she stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Keep her distance. I wish she'd keep enough to distance to make it to Japan...Scary psycho. Well, she did kind of save me, but still...

The fact that she had hurt Alice didn't sit well with me, despite the fact that Alice probably would have hurt me. I've known her for three days. I shouldn't care.

But I do.

Alice's eyes did not leave Rosalie for a long moment and I could see the resentment and distrust in her face. She looked like she wanted to tear into Rosalie again and I'm sure she would have if Esme hadn't been present. The woman seemed very nice and kind, but she still had that whole I'm-the-Mom-and-you-will-obey-me unquestionable kind of authority that all mothers seem to have.

"We were driving home. I was trying to tell Bella, finally trying to admit to her what was going on. There was a deer. I was already so...So high on her smell. It excited me. It didn't help..." Alice said and refused to look at me as she spoke.

"I couldn't take it when Bella was leaving the car. I just...She was so addicting, so close...And I wanted to be with her so bad..."

Wow...

I don't understand how I could be that intoxicating, even to her...

"So I pounced..." Alice whispered, her voice dropping, her words thick with shame.

I didn't want her to be upset about this. It's not like she purposefully did any of this. I hate that sad look on her face.

"And then I had to save your stupid ass from making the mistake I told you would happen!" Rosalie exploded. I had a feeling she'd been holding that in for awhile.

"Shut up! I wouldn't have hurt her!"

"Then what would you have done, huh? Just made out with her? Bullshit!"

"No! I wasn't thinking about biting her!"

"Then what were you thinking about?" Rosalie snarled.

Really, what was she thinking about if not that?

"Go to hell, Rose!"

"No, what were you really thinking about? Huh? Admit it! You were going to bite her!" Rosalie shouted back, slamming her hand down on the railing of the stairs.

"I was thinking about...!" Alice suddenly cut herself off and turned her head to the side, growling in frustration.

"I think we can all guess as to what Alice had in mind..." Esme murmured kindly, her voice the only calm one.

What...Oh.

_Oh._

"Like that's much better!" Rosalie snapped.

"Drop dead!" Alice yelled back_. _

"You wanted to...To touch me? Like that?" I stammered out, scandalized...And slightly delighted by the idea that Alice Cullen had been unable to restrain herself from touching me.

Damn. If I didn't have an inferiority complex thing going on, I'd have a huge ego right now.

Alice's only response was to nod slightly, head still turned away.

"So...What was that stuff? Like in the air? It made me um..." I decided I might as well ask. There was no point in being shy about it and I know I wasn't imagining it. The feeling of lust, of pure desire and need had been way to intense to be imagined.

"Hmm? Stuff in the air? Oh!" Esme cried, clapping her hands. "That was Alice's pheromones. When a vampire is either hunting or wants to mate, they release pheromones into the air. These pheromones excite their mate and draw them in, especially humans. Alice considers you her mate, and Alice was well, aroused, by the smell of your blood. There's always been something sexual about blood lust, especially with one's mate. So she released pheromones, albeit not on purpose, to get you aroused as well and engage you in a mating session. These pheromones can physically excite you, but my husband says there are pheromones designed for emotional connection as well..."

I blushed and Alice bit her lip. I was sure if she could, she'd be blushing too.

A mating session apparently is code for Alice wanted to fuck me senseless.

Esme talking about it so openly is just embarrassing.

"Oh. Okay," I mumbled.

"Well, this wasn't that big of a deal. Alice probably only responded as she did because Rosalie intruded into a mating session, and the only reason Alice lost control in the first place is because of a silly deer. Besides, I had a feeling Alice would be a possesive type," Esme babbled happily, smiling on at the three of us, despite Rosalie's furious glare and Alice's shamed look.

"I'm sorry," Alice whispered, eyes on the floor, avoiding looking at me.

"It's okay. I mean, really. It was an accident. Don't worry about it," I rushed to reassure her.

"No. I should have stopped. I treated you like you were my property and..." Alice scowled, clearly beating herself up about this.

"Stop it! I'm sick of seeing you so upset about everything! What happened to that happy, bouncy Alice?" I cried, utterly tired of her attitude. Alice looked startled, Rosalie disappeared up the stairs, defeated and fed up, and Esme grinned. "Anyway, wasn't it the vampire part of you that saw me like that? It's the vampire the considers me your territory, your property. You didn't do it on purpose."

"Really, Alice! Bella understands. Don't dwell on this. You've always had superb control. I'll bet you anything if it had been Rosalie, she wouldn't have been able to stop herself!" Esme added.

I think Rosalie and I would beg to differ.

Alice sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"I'll leave you two alone so you can talk," Esme winked at me and left the room. Woah, what? Wait a minute! You can't just...

And she's gone.

Leaving me alone with Alice.

Awkweird...

"Holy shit," I breathed, falling back onto the love seat.

Alice watched me warily.

I don't mean to be rude, but this is all just so overwhelming. I haven't had a chance to process anything at all.

Alice is a vampire.

I am her mate.

I care deeply for Alice.

How deeply?

Alice and Rosalie got into a fight. A crazy, intense fight.

Over me.

"Bella...Talk to me. Please. Tell me what you're thinking..." Alice pleaded and I suddenly realized just how nervous Alice must be. I mean, according to her, she's been dying to be with me for a long time.

Jeez.

"Alice, if I'm being honest? This all just seems like a dream to me right now..." I told her truthfully. I just can't wrap my head around any of it. Vampires do not exist. They just...Don't.

"A dream or a nightmare?" Alice asked in a small voice.

The normally confident pixie is getting on my nerves with this whole insecurity thing. That's supposed to be my thing. I hate hearing her upset.

"A dream. I'm not...I'm not afraid of you. I should be. But I can't be. I care about you, Alice. This connection, whatever it is...Do you know how terrified I was when Rosalie threw you like a rock down that hill? We barely know each other, yet it makes me sick to think about being without you..." I confessed and Alice looked almost ecstatic. She bit back her smile though.

"You are such an anomaly, Isabella Swan. Anyone else would have fled as soon as I lifted that car. But you just take it all in stride. It's not just some connection. Even without this deeper, mysterious mate thing going on...I'd still love you, Bella," Alice murmured, slowly moving towards me. She crouched down in front of me and played with the carpet, eyes downcast.

"I...I don't want to hurt your feelings but this is going so fast. I mean, I do like you...A lot. I always have. You were untouchable, beautiful and so confident. Everything I wasn't. I just wanted you to acknowledge me sometimes. And when you talked to me in detention, I was so afraid you were only poking fun at me..."

"No! God, no! Bella, you are so incredible and you don't even notice...The children of modern day times are so cruel. So stupid. Their opinions don't mean anything and I hate how you let it affect you. The insignificant words of others voicing their own insecurities at you to make you feel just as bad as they do infuriates me. You are so much better than them, me..."

Alice's words made my heart beat increase tenfold and my cheeks warm.

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better but..."

"No! Enough! I'm so sick of this! Whether you want to or not, you are going to recognize how amazing you really are!" Alice yelled, standing up and cupping my cheeks in her hands. I blushed even harder. Her voice rising made me shrink beneath her passionate words.

Everything she said made me feel pretty, made me feel wanted, made me feel incredible...There weren't fluttery little butterflies in my stomach. There were tiny dragons, fanning their wings and breathing their fire, making my stomach heat up and my chest tighten.

"Alice..." I breathed as she stared deep into my eyes. Her eyes were black, no doubt a response to what had happened earlier, but they were still so beautiful, so full of expression and passion and...

Love...

"Call it cliche, but you are a drug to me. You are addicting, a habit that I can't and don't want to break. You get me high when you smile, when you breathe and when you laugh, but you don't do it nearly enough. I want to touch the sky with you, Bella...I want you to feel that high. I want you to feel as spectacular as you make me feel, just by being here..."

I swallowed hard, her words touching me on a level that no one had ever reached before. There was more than just some mate thing going on. This was Alice, baring her soul to me, showing me just how much she really cared...

And just hearing her speak these words, I feel myself coming alive.

It scares me. It positively terrifies me. But I love this...

I love...

I think I'm falling in love with her...

Three days.

Not in three days.

That's not how it happens...

Love doesn't happen at first sight, or as soon as she sweet talks me a little...

But her smooth, liquid silk voice is rolling over me, caressing me, making my heart soar and my skin tingle...Well that all says otherwise...

But I don't even know what love feels like...

She's the only romantic relationship I've ever had, and this one is incredibly out there in terms of relationships.

"But I screwed up your relationship with Rosalie. You two looked like you were going to kill each other..."

"Rosalie is a a bitch and has no idea what she's talking about. She just needs to stay away from you because you're _my_ Bella or I'll rip her..."

I raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed.

"Sorry. I need to work on that whole mine thing...But I'll deal with her. Don't worry about it okay?" Alice begged, eyes searching mine.

To be honest, the whole mine thing kind of made me hot and bothered. When she got all protective and angry if she even _thought_ anyone was after me...

She wants me all to herself, wants nobody else to touch me...

I'm hers to love, to hold, to fuck...That's how she sees it. And it gets me wet, while simultaneously making my heart swell with affection. It's a great feeling, though I'll never tell her what that possesive attitude does to me because it_ is _kind of a dangerous thing which should not be encouraged...to much.

"I know. It's okay."

"I love you, Bella. I love you with every fiber of my being, human or vampire. I'll never hurt you. I swear it. I'll give you the world, if you'll just give me a chance. I'll give you the whole galaxy, the universe and I can prove to you that no star inside it will ever shine as bright as you do to me, will never make me burn like you can...Rosalie is nothing, everyone, everything else is _nothing_...Because you're _everything_..."

"Alice..." I whimpered as she leaned in slowly, clearly giving me a chance to pull away.

Ha.

Fat chance.

"I know I sound like a silly poet in a bad romance novel, but I mean it. I mean all of it...So don't think me a bad cliche, please...I just want you to know how much you mean to me...Just give me a _chance_..." Alice whispered against my lips.

Her's cool and soft, gently ghosted against mine. They were so smooth and perfect, so full. I leaned into the kiss, this time without first time jitters or doubts...

Alice means this. This is all real.

This, Alice against me, holding me close as we softly kiss, just a gentle affectionate press of lips...

It's reality.

It's really, really happening...

And though it's overwhelming, though I'm struggling not to freak out, not to scream in denial of all these insane events, to run away in fear with my tail between my legs...

I can't. I won't. I don't want to. I want to stay here, in this moment, forever, arms gently but securely wrapped around Alice's neck while she lovingly kisses me, holding my face tightly between my hands as if she's afraid I'll suddenly change my mind or disappear...

But I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if she's a vampire. I don't care if her whole family is a bunch of vampires. I don't care about some mate connection. This, right here, right now, is just me and Alice...

I'll worry about everything later.

Right now, I just want to savor this incredible feeling.

I'm Alice's drug, and I guess what they say about druggies being a bad influence is true, because she is getting me so high right now.


	7. Pinky Promise

After we broke apart, three minutes later due to a soft squeal from Esme, Alice took me, blushing like mad while Esme smiled blissfully, up to her room.

Not for that, perverts.

Who am I kidding?

Half of me was turning over horny contemplations and half of me was singing in the delight of new found...

Love.

What a powerful, incredibly accurate but misleading word...

"Sorry about that. Esme's not usually so...Forward. She was just kind of excited to meet you," Alice apologized, chagrined as we reached her room.

Hot damn, I'm about to see what Alice Cullen's room lookes like.

Never thought I'd say that for real...

"It's...Cool..." I trailed off as Alice opened the door and the most beautiful room I've ever seen was revealed to me.

Excuse me, but I don't really care how lame this sounds.

Alice's room is the bomb.

"Your room is the bomb!" I told her enthusiastically, unable to help myself. Her soft laughter was no longer embarrassing but made my heart feel funny.

In a good way, of course.

"I know right? Sorry if it's kinda messy. I wasn't exactly expecting company," Alice said, floating in her naturally graceful way into the room.

I looked around, soaking in what was Alice personified.

No, it wasn't happy with bright colors and all the sickeningly peppy shit.

It was what I wished my room looked like.

The walls were painted black with different shades of blue ranging from navy to sky swirling in gorgeous patterns across the wall. The ceiling was also black but I could see soft white dots that seemed to glow like stars dancing across it, seeming to give the room a playful vibe to go with the incredible patterns on the wall.

There was a bed in the far right corner of her room with the headboard at the right wall and the end of it facing towards the left of it. There was a huge window letting in the fading daylight, keeping it open.

The carpet was amazingly soft and a deep, dark blue.

And check this.

She had a lava lamp.

It too was blue, slowly soaking the room in it's gentle, soothing light as the relaxing blobs of...lava, I guess, morphed and flowed, content in whatever substance they were in.

"That is so cool. I haven't seen one of those in forever," I gushed, fascinated by it's glow.

"I know, right? It gives a really relaxing vibe to the room," Alice agreed, walking over to her bed before turning and grinning at my open mouth. There were some clothes piled around here and there, taking away the neat freak vibe and giving it a more homey feel. I liked it, and it wasn't overly messy.

"You're really into blue," I observed and she only nodded in agreement. "You draw?" I commented, noticing the sketch books and paper strewn around her room, covered in sketches obviously done by a skilled hand. I could see astonishingly realistic faces sketched in, gracefully etched into the paper. Alice only nodded again.

"Do you like the walls? I painted them myself," Alice admitted shyly.

"How did this happen?" I sighed, shaking my head in wonder and staring at her in awe.

"What happen?" Alice tilted her head, which by the way, was adorable.

"I get an amazing vampire girlfriend who is hot, has great taste in the music _and_ can paint? There's just no way," I told her truthfully. There was a bed stand which held the lava lamp on the right side of her bed and a bookcase on the same wall as her bed (her room is huge) along with a gigantic dresser on the left wall with a gigantic mirror to go with it. The wood looked to be made of a rich mahogany, polished and sleek. The bookcase was completely full.

This is just to much. Alice is just to incredible. She has great taste in music and I can see her CD's stacked on the shelves of her bed stand. She is also apparently versatile because along with Beethoven, I spot Breaking Benjamin, Apocalyptica, Evanescence, Paramore, but then Basshunter, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. I'm not to sure about that last one but whatever, I love all the other ones. Besides her taste in music, she has a great creative talent and an amazing body, along with her awesome personality. She's just...to much.

Alice grinned shyly again before prancing over to me and taking my hand as she kissed my cheek, making me blush like mad.

"You're too kind, Bella," she said, tugging gently and guiding me towards her bed. We sat down and I relaxed in the comfort of her room.

"You feel that?" Alice asked, leaning back into the headboard as I sat in front of her, legs crossed Indian style.

If by that, she means the extreme contentment slowly taking me over, yes I do.

"What is that?" I asked as it felt like a wave of relaxing vibes caressed over me. Woah, that felt weird and yet...It felt nice as well.

"It's my pheromones. I'm not trying to like, control your emotions or anything. That's Jasper's thing. I just can't help it," Alice confessed, playing with a loose thread on her soft, silky blue duvet.

"Mm? I don't mind. I actually really like it," I said, my eyes lidding. Jeez, I feel like there's nothing wrong in the world at the moment, that it's just me and Alice chilling in her room.

We accidentally caught eyes but I refused to look away, holding her deep black gaze, roving my eyes over the tiny sliver of honey gold that had managed to fight it's way back into her eyes.

"You have really pretty eyes," Alice commented, slowly reaching out and cupping my cheek in her palm, caressing me gently.

I blushed slightly but leaned into the touch, enjoying this, the feel of just being with her.

"No, you do," I whispered back as she leaned forward and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, petting me as she did.

"You're so beautiful," Alice murmured and suddenly amazingly full, cool and heart shaped lips were pressed to mine, lovingly stroking for a brief moment before she pulled back with a little meep!

My eyes widened slightly and Alice gave a fake cough.

"Sorry, sorry. I should have asked first," Alice apologized.

"No, no. I don't mind. You can kiss me whenever you want," I said a bit dreamily and sounded like a total dork.

But really, she can.

Anywhere, anytime...

"I can? So...You won't mind if I do...this?" Alice breathed eagerly, leaning in again and this time, I met her halfway.

Nope. I do not mind one bit.

Slowly, she morphed the kiss into a mutual open mouthed thing and slid her tongue against mine, and damn, her tongue feels great...

It feels like it's tingling, like it's charged with electricity, sliding against me and oh god...

She was softly sucking my tongue while her hand cupped the back of my neck, pulling me closer as she rolled us expertly, twisting on top of me and still kissing me hungrily as her other hand roved over my sides, touching, feeling.

"Ngh," I grunted out as she pulled back to let me breathe, only to dive back in and capture my mouth, bruising me lightly as she pressed down into me.

I'm convinced. There is nothing as great as kissing Alice Cullen. Not in the whole damn universe...

I can't help the soft moan I let out as she presses her mouth to the hickey that still hasn't healed and I'm almost tempted to tell her to leave it be as it is still tender and sore, but she just laps at it and what the hell is that_ tingling_?

My head lolls as the pleasure begins clouding my head, pheromones seeping into the air, firing off sensors in my brain, telling me that it all feels good...

As her tongue presses into my flesh, licking and kissing, it feels like someone has poured pop rocks on my skin and then doused it with coke, making it fizzy and like sparks are occasionally dancing about.

"Alice...Alice, what is that?" I whimper out as she gently nibbles. All I get in response is a tiny growl and her mouth against mine again. She presses into me harder, sliding her cold hands under my shirt without warning and I cry out in shock. She only rubs the warm skin over my ribs and abdomen, stroking before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against her. Mm, she's purring. I love that. I'm beginning to associate that noise with either contentment or extreme pleasure.

I shift my hips, moistening as the pheromones begin to thicken and Alice begins to get more aggressive.

Wait,_ shit_. Shit, shit, shit!

She can't get to worked up, not again. She could barely stand sitting next to me, so what is full on kissing me going to do?

But my god, this feels incredible, the tingling, the haze in the air...

"Damn it!" Alice suddenly cried, flinging herself off of me and falling to the floor.

Hmm?

What?

What's happening...?

Needless to say, I was still out of it from the sudden rush and sudden dissipation of pheromones.

"Alice?" I groan out, my eyes lidded and my skin still fizzing and buzzing. I sit up and look around and notice that she's across the room, her arm across her face, covering her nose.

"Sorry, sorry...I got out of control. Just stay over there for a minute, okay?" Alice mumbled out, eyes shut and pressed against the door, far away from me. "It's okay, just...Just give me a minute..."

For some reason, I feel cold and lonely at that sight. I consider going to her but think better of it.

"O-okay..." I consent, watching her tremble slightly.

"Clozurlegz," Alice says.

"Um...What?" It sounded like she was speaking through a sock in her mouth.

"Close. Your. Legs," Alice repeats, enunciating each word as clearly and firmly as she can, voice rumbling and still not opening her eyes.

My eyes widen and I realize that I'm spread like a Persian whore for her.

What the fuck.

Just what the fuck.

"I didn't mean, ohmygosh I'm so sorry, I must look like a total slut to you right now-" I ranted, clasping my thighs together and trying not to agitate what I just covered to much. I know I'm wet and I know she's having trouble with it and I was practically beckoning to her outright. No wonder she got worked up.

But I swear I never even remembered spreading that much in the first place...

"It's not your fault," Alice breathed out, several long, tense and so embarrassing moments later. "The pheromones are designed to entice you into sex, so you only did it naturally," she explained, finally pulling her arm from her face and opening her eyes. "You just um...smelled to good for your own good."

I blushed again and she swallowed hard. So awkward. Is that every vampires natural ability, to make me feel like a total idiotic spaz?

"Sorry. Maybe we should take it a little slower?" Alice offered, tentatively beginning to approach the bed. And yet, she looks like she's struggling not to let her eyes go any lower than my chin.I nodded sheepishly, wishing I could shut of my bodies damning response to her amazing tongue skills.

Eh, banish that thought.

Fucking imagination, if I could make you physically real I'd kick you in the balls for conjuring those thoughts now of all times.

"So, what was that feeling?" I asked after a few moments of silence as she lowers herself back on the bed, close but not to close.

I don't want to invade her space, but I really wish she would just come over here and hold me. Not kiss me, just hold me tightly...

I just want to be close to her.

I have to content myself to hearing her melodic voice.

"What? Oh, that thing going on with your skin? That was just my venom," Alice dismissed it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Venom? What are you, part snake, too?" I joke and she chuckles softly.

I can't believe she laughed at that. That was quite possibly the stupidest joke ever been told in the history of stupid jokes, yet her eyes are twinkling.

It makes my heart flutter, her laughter.

"No, but that's how one is changed into a vampire. I don't know, it's complicated. When my dad gets home in about twenty minutes, you can get the details but for now, all I know is that somehow our venom is what transforms a human into a vampire but only if it's injected into the bloodstream, and if applied to the skin is harmless and creates a pleasant tingling sensation. Or something like that, I don't know. Carlisle's bound to ramble when he gets into medical talk," Alice explained, leaning into her headboard and giving me a slight grin.

"Wait, wait, wait. I remember that day in detention when you first kissed me. You knew the teacher was coming. Are you like, psychic or something, too? Do vampires get superpowers along with super speed and strength? And why didn't all this pheromone and venom stuff affect me then?" I inquired rapidly, probably to rapidly, extremely interested in what she would respond with.

"Sort of. Not all of us do, but again, you're gonna have to get the details from Carlisle. Something in the change does it, but yes, I can see the future. Along with myself, Carlisle has peculiar healing abilities, Jasper is extremely in touch with emotions and can influence them heavily, Edward can read minds, Emmett has incredible strength even for a vampire, Rosalie has extreme rage that boosts all of her abilities and Esme is um...Er, Esme has powerful seductive abilities, along with an intense maternal protective nature," Alice answered. "It didn't affect you then because Rosalie was purposefully counter ballancing my pheromones with hers to make sure we didn't get too out of it. And I was swallowing a lot of venom. It actually made me sick later that day."

As expected, she did not disappoint.

As expected, I call bullshit and revert back to that whole denial thing.

Wait, I made her sick?

"I'm sorry I made you sick," I apologized, profoundly upset that I had done so.

"It's okay. I just had to hunt to dissolve the venom in my stomach," Alice dismissed my apology. I wasn't to eager to begin discussing her _hunting_, so I saved that for another insane conversation.

With that out of the way, I could address her superpowers.

"No way! You can't possibly do all that stuff!" Alice cried.

Um...

What the hell?

"What?" she said. "How did you do that?"

"Stop that!" We both said at the same time.

Alice busted out laughing as I pressed my lips together and glared at her. Alright, so apparently she knows exactly what I am going to say, before I say it. I guess she could also foresee my inevitable defense mechanism.

I watched her with a calculating look, deciding to test this little ability she has. Of course, she seemed to understand this. She pursed her lips and gave me that familiar minxish smirk, inviting the challenge. She sat up and crossed her legs and I grinned playfully, as she raised her eyebrow.

After having a stare off for a good five seconds, I blurted out, "Strawberry shortcake!"

Just in time for her to say it with me.

Damn.

I leaned back, watching her thoughtfully. She giggled adorably and I smiled widely.

Alright, freaky and unbelievable as it all was...

I was having fun.

"Chocolate syrup! Seventy-five and a half plus two! Jerry Springer!" I babbled and she matched me word for word, laughing the whole way through it.

I huffed, glaring at her playfully and she smirked back at me.

Think, Swan. What is so possibly outrageous and stupid that she could never actually guess it or see it coming?

I got it.

Alice suddenly busted out laughing again, holding her stomach.

"Banana hammock? Seriously?" she choked out.

Oh, come the fuck on.

"Is there anything you can't do?" I sighed after she managed to calm down, both of us silently agreeing that she had won.

"Stop loving you," Alice said sincerely before sticking her tongue out at the ridiculous cliche. Yet, it made me blush and lower my head shyly while my stomach fluttered, the dragons roaring happily.

"So. You said Esme has...Seductive abilities?" I slowly said, watching her expression. I couldn't help the slight snort. The women seemed way to polite and happy to even consider trying to seduce someone.

Hug them to death, maybe. But not seduce.

"Mmhm," Alice nodded and we collapsed in a fit of giggles. It was just to weird imagining loving, gentle Esme trying to get into someones pants. I decided I didn't really want the details on that particular aspect of her. It was kind of like asking your mom how she tries to get laid.

Ick. Ew. Gross. Damn imagination. Can't you just chill the fuck out? Blech.

"And Edward, the broody looking one...He reads minds? For real?" I murmured, filled with wonder and a slightly violated feel.

There were only two sanctuaries in my world, and that was my room and my mind. I had thought that only one was capable of being broken into.

Guess not.

"Yes, but he tries not to listen in on people's thoughts. He's got that gentlemanly vibe to him, ya know? Treats girls with respect, holds doors for them and all that. Waiting for marriage to get laid. He's just really old fashioned and he's really kind, too. He can dull everything to a whisper, but he can't just turn it off. He hears things and sometimes, it's not something he wanted to know. Trust me, it's not as great as it seems. He'd never purposefully invade your thoughts unless you pissed him off or he didn't trust you," Alice explained.

Hmm. That was slightly reassuring, but still. I want my head to stay mine.

"And Jasper? What's the deal with him?"

"Jasper was once a soldier. It gave him a very distinct intuitive feel and a knack for following his instincts. His power is one he tends to use without meaning to. For instance, if you are angry, he might subconsciously fill you with relaxing vibes, but it's not pheromones. We aren't quite sure what it is. Also, if he is sad, he might accidentally make you break down crying. He's relatively new to the whole vampire thing and Carlisle is helping him with his control," Alice told me.

Okay, that's not that bad. That's actually kind of cool. Feeling bad? Just talk to Jasper and get a dose of happy.

Sweet.

"He's a great brother and probably who I'm closest to besides Esme...Well, now that Rosalie and I are at a crossroads," Alice continued, slowly beginning to get a far away look in her eyes, a thoughtful one.

"Yeah, about her. I'm still sorry about the whole fight and everything," I apologized again, still feeling awful for the way I'd managed to pit the two siblings against each other.

"It's fine, Bella. Rosalie has a very strong sense of right and wrong, so much to the point that it is almost black and white. She simply cares deeply for me. She's not the bad guy here, but she tends to act without thinking. Edward is almost just like that, except he tries to think things through more than her," Alice assured me.

"So, is that why Rosalie is such a cranky pants all the time?" I asked.

Alice's eyes twinkled and her tinkling laughter filled the room once more, making me feel warm.

"What?"

"Cranky pants? That's just to cute," Alice grinned, leaning forward and pinching my cheeks playfully.

I growled and swatted her hands away, annoyed. Alice's grin widened.

"Aw, did I upset you Bewwa? I'm sorry, let me kiss it better," Alice teased mercilessly.

Kissing it better sounds nice...

Normally, when people treated me like that it got on my nerves to the point that I wanted to smack them. But Alice was different. She just made me blush and want to hide my face.

"Stop it!" I whined and pulled back.

"Aw! You are so adorable!" she cooed, scooping me into her arms and tucking my head into the crook of her neck.

"Jerk," I mumbled under my breath and I could feel her chest shaking as she laughed. Yet, it may be the pheromones, or maybe this just feels incredibly right, I stayed there, my head buried in her cold skin, cooling the heat in my cheeks as she leaned back into the headboard, arms wrapped around me and her lips pressing into the soft roots of my hair.

"You're so warm, Bella. I'm sorry, I shouldn't tease you so much," Alice chuckled softly, and yes, she is totally babying me right now, petting my hair, gently scraping her nails over my scalp and holding me tenderly in her lap, but I can't help it.

I like it.

I like her holding me, loving me, just being with her, near her, basking in the feel of her.

I don't know why. I don't think it's pheromones or some weird mate connection. I think it's just because she's Alice, and Alice herself, just Alice, is amazing.

It didn't take long with us relaxed and at ease for her chest to start vibrating. Alice was purring like a motor boat, rumbling deep and content. A wave of pheromones permeated the air, making my body go completely lax in her arms. We both sighed deeply, content.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to just be with you like this," Alice murmured softly in the fading twilight, holding me close. Her chest rose and fell and I'm pretty sure she didn't need to breathe and it was just for my benefit. The motion was relaxing, the rythm deep and soothing.

"I've dreamt about it, seen it in ever changing visions, holding you, kissing you, just being with you. It made my heart ache, though my heart hasn't beaten in a hundred or so years," Alice mumbled out, her voice making me feel so good on the inside and out.

I'm convinced that this is the best place to be, the only place for me to be. Just here with Alice, in her arms, safe and warm and happy.

"So warm, so soft...You smell so good, Bella and I don't mean your blood or your arousal or any of that, though they do smell quite delightful. Just you," Alice whispered, stroking my hair as I eased further into her, our bodies relaxing into the bed, sinking deeper into this wonderful feel.

Her words were soft and sweet, coaxing my eyelids shut in the perfect feeling of relaxation and contentment.

"Like the rain and the forest, sweet and clean, deep and mysterious...Like fresh water, a babbling brook in spring...With that hint of spice and cinnamon, coating you in your own exotic, powerful aroma. Mm, I'm ranting and sound like a total cliche, but it's true..." Alice continued.

How she manages to make me feel so great with only words and tiny actions, her short, little kisses that are so brief as they graze the top of my head that they almost seem nonexistent, the slight squeezing of her arms around me as she tells me how she feels, so trusting that I will listen...

Where does this trust, this love so deep come from?

I don't know, and I don't question it. It's here and it's hers and it may be mine as well...

"My family is home," Alice says suddenly, leaning forward slowly and I let out a slight drowsy, protesting moan before I can stop myself. She smiles wide, holding me tightly, keeping me in her lap.

"I don't care. I don't want to move, ever..." I tell her truthfully, keeping my nose pressed to the spot beneath her right ear, nuzzling it gently, copy catting her affectionate gesture.

She purrs again, pulling me by my chin to kiss my lips sweetly and softly.

"How are you keeping control now when you couldn't before?" I ask quietly, still in the silence of her room that I am coming to know as a third sanctuary.

"Because this is not all about your blood or sex. It's also about me being with you, loving you, making you feel safe. I told you I'd give you everything and I am. I told you you mean so much to me and I meant it. It's not hard to control myself when I know that this is real, that you aren't just a fantasy to me anymore. It's not hard to keep control when I love you so..." Alice admitted, eyes catching mine in a deep stare that made my throat tighten and my heartbeat stumble in a good way.

"Why me?" I choked out as tears began falling down my face, emotions train wrecking inside me.

I've never meant that much, meant much to anyone at all. Never felt like I do, never felt so alive as to when Alice Cullen stepped into my life.

I've had three days to get used to this, and yes things are going at the speed of which I don't even think vampires could touch, but I don't think I want it to slow down. I still want Alice to keep my heart racing, my life reeling...

I don't want her to go, to disappear, to be a dream. This is to much, to fast and I can't take it. It's like the shock is wearing off.

Without warning I bust out in pathetic tears, feeling stupid yet so loved as Alice shushes me, crooning in my ear as I sob into her chest. I suppose it had all been building over the last few days, growing bigger until it finally spilled over.

I feel like an emotional blob of pitiful idiocy at this, a teenage stereotype of a whiny girl but I can't help it.

And Alice is always there to help it if I can't, apparently...

"I'm not anything s-special. I've never done anything to d-deserve this. And w-what if I c-can't be everything you w-want of me? What if I end up d-disappointing you and h-hurting you and I just don't t-think I can give you all that you expect of m-me," I sob into her neck as she holds me tightly, arms wrapped around me.

"No! No, Bella! I'm not expecting anything from you except for you to be yourself! God, I'm so stupid. I knew I was going to fast, pushing you to hard. I shouldn't be unloading on you like this. I'm so sorry, please don't cry...Don't cry, darling, please..." Alice whispers in my ear, rocking me back and forth like a child. I can't help it but the motion actually soothes me and her soft hushing whispers help as well.

"I j-just don't want to disappoint you if I d-don't...If it all e-ends up wrong, w-with how I think I f-feel..." I say back, the twilight now fading officially into night as I hear a car door shut outside.

I'm all over the place, my head and my heart deciding to go to war.

Vampires, pheromones, love and lust and the stars twinkling with Alice's promise to someday bring them to me...

I'm falling apart, and look who's here to catch me...Well that's another point for my heart and another worry for my head...

I'm in this now, there's no backing out, no going back to what there was before. I can't go back to my old life, not after all this, not after these feelings. This terrifying relaization, the fact that the scary but inevitable concept that is change has come to play makes me cling to Alice with all that I am, because she's going to have to be my rock through it now that she has set the raging river that it is in motion.

Look at me, I'm already falling into her poetic way of thinking. But I kind of like that...

"Bella, you can go as slow as you want. I'll wait forever and even if you never say you love me back, I won't mind. Well, much. I'll still love you and care for you forever. You don't have to make any promises or say anything you don't want to. Just...Feel as you feel and say what you feel, and we'll figure it out as we go...Nothing is set in stone, Bells. Nothing but me, and I'm not pouring concrete on you, not trying to force you into anything. Just stop crying, please...It's okay, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for rushing you into this..." Alice whimpered into the top of my head and I was sure if she could, she'd be crying to.

After a long five minutes of us just hanging on to each other, my sobbing eased and I took control of my emotions again, easing into her with little embarrassing hiccups.

"S-sorry...Human thing. More precisely, teenage human thing," I chuckled weakly and Alice joined me.

"It's okay. I understand. Just tell me if things are getting to be to much for you, okay? I'll go as slow as you want, Bella," Alice said, pulling back to gaze into my watery, red rimmed eyes to let me know she was sincere.

I nodded shakily and pitiful as it was, childish as it was, I whispered, "Pinkie promise?"

She smiled so hard and so wide that I thought she would split her face in two. She placed her right hand over her heart before speaking.

"I pinkie promise to you, Isabella Swan, that from this day forth, I will follow your lead. I'll protect you and love you with all my heart and let you be as you are. I'll never intentionally hurt you or bring you harm and I will always be with you, but never control you. I'll be by your side forever more until you banish me away, but know that no matter what, I, Alice Cullen, will always love you."

And with that powerful proclamation, she held her right hand up, pinkie extended before her, offering it to me.

I laughed, though I knew how much her words had touched me, touched something deep on a level I didn't know existed. It was so young, but such an intense, binding gesture to me and apparently to her as well. A pinkie promise was something between friends, a gesture of utmost trust and promise, the old yet so young and innocent trust that only children could employ so honestly.

But Alice can do that, too. I'm quickly beginning to understand that Alice can do pretty much anything...

"Pinkie promise," she whispered softly, smile slipping away as she gave me the most honest look I have ever received in my life.

And with that, my warmer digit curled around her cooler one, promising me what I had no idea would be a ride through hell and back, a roller coaster so twisting and terrifying but so exhilirating at the same time, promising me a winding, adventurous life filled with problems and bumps and terror, love and devotion, a road that inevitably, imminently and without doubt would always lead back to her.

That road started that night, with Esme calling in her kind voice up the stairs for me to come down and meet the family.


	8. Old Friends

By Tuesday, I was thinking about nothing but vampires. Crazy, insane, yes. My life had taken a turn down this lane. But, I didn't mind.

Mostly because I had Alice.

We walked into school together, pinkies clasped. I wasn't completely comfortable about being out as Alice's girlfriend. I mean, I was tortured enough already. I decided that I didn't care…too much. As long as I had Alice here beside me, staying close to defend me, I didn't really mind.

Much.

The Cullens were a pretty cool family. I never got to meet Carlisle. He got called back to the hospital because of some emergency, and therefore I didn't really have anything explained to me. I think out of all the Cullens, Emmett bothered me the least. He was funny and goofy and the first thing he did was give me a huge bear hug upon our entry to the kitchen.

It was awkward and totally inappropriate but I liked it. It made me feel, I don't know, accepted.

Edward creeped me out. I mean, I just felt…violated in his presence. I was constantly second guessing my thoughts and wondering if he was hearing some weirdly embarrassing secret. He seemed to know he was making me uncomfortable as he kept apologizing. He was very kind and everything, but we didn't talk much. I think I, for some reason, made him uncomfortable too.

Rosalie was Rosalie. She and I ignored each other's presence.

Jasper seemed cool but he couldn't really talk to me. Alice said it was because he was trying not to kill me due to his poor control.

Way to make me feel safe, Pixie.

He was quiet but because he was jittery he started making me feel jittery. After the initial introductions, he and Edward soon left, leaving me to talk to Emmett and Esme.

Emmett is awesome. He's hilarious, a bit overbearing but nonetheless, awesome.

When he and Alice got together though, they were amazingly funny.

"Are you nervous?" Alice asked me as we began walking down the hall and stares quickly burned into us. I could already hear the collective murmur from the students as they saw one of the most popular girls in school holding…well, pinkies, with the dorkiest, weirdest kid in school.

"Nope," I squeaked out. The entire Cullen family pretty much always walked in a group together. Edward and Jasper were walking behind us while Rosalie was at the very back, still brooding and being sulky.

Get over it, woman.

Emmett was on my right and Alice was floating on my left in that graceful walk of hers.

"You're lying," I heard Edward say behind me. "Don't worry about anything, Bella. We won't let anyone do or say anything."

Damn mind reader.

I heard his soft chuckle and decided he may not be all bad. Just a tad creepy.

"Yeah, screw 'em, Bells. They're just jealous," Emmett yawned, and stretched his huge ass muscles taut. He may look scary but he's really a big teddy bear on the inside.

"I'm just not used to this much attention," I mumbled and Alice slid her hand all the way into mine, lacing our fingers. I blushed and almost pulled my hand back as the murmuring around us rose in volume.

I could almost feel the slight hurt radiating off of Alice when I lightly tugged my hand, but then sighed and squeezed hers tight.

"Sorry. Sorry," I mumbled.

"Bella, if you aren't comfortable with this, we don't have to…"

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'm being stupid," I told her, leaning into her slightly and I felt her lean into me as well. I stumbled, she giggled and righted me.

"Silly Bella," she smiled, wrapping her arm around my waist and keeping me balanced as we tried to walk glued together. I soon forgot the staring and whispering as Alice and I playfully tried to walk as one person, both of us giggling like mad. I started laughing when I tripped and she had to catch me before I fell to the floor.

I don't know what it is about Alice because at any other time I'd have fled from the muttering and pointing, but it was just too fun, to incredible to be with her and goof off like this.

She's amazing like that, I suppose.

"You two are sickening," Emmett laughed, lightly hip checking me which nearly sent me sprawling.

"Ow, jackass!" I yelped, shoving him back but nearly catapulting myself onto my ass. I was smiling my face off though. You just have to with Emmett.

"Nice try, Pipsqueak," he chuckled and ruffled my hair. I scowled and swatted at his arm.

"Alice," I whined.

She stepped on his foot as we continued down the hall as if it were the most natural thing one could do. He let out a yip and jumped back slightly. Alice never even glanced at him as she continued down the hallway. I smirked and let out a little triumphant _ha!_ at the pouty look on his face while I slid my hand back into hers.

"Behave, children," Edward rolled his eyes with a smile as he walked by us. "I'll see you guys at lunch," he waved as he went into his classroom.

Alice and I had Biology together first period and Emmett with a little shove for Alice and childish laughter as she staggered trying to keep her balance, which by the way was actually really comical considering how graceful she was, he disappeared into his Math classroom.

Alice huffed and glared after him and then pointed that glare at me as bit my lip and tried not to outright laugh at her.

"Sorry," I snickered behind my hand as Rosalie followed after him without a word.

"I can feel the sincerity," Alice snorted but her eyes were twinkling so I knew it was okay. "He is so immature sometimes," she said with an air of mature superiority. I let out a scoff as we entered the Biology classroom.

"Like you're so much better," I grinned and took a seat by her. Her usual partner was out today and there was no question of where I was sitting. Sorry, Mike. You're a creepy fucker anyway. You can sit with someone else today. Mike was my partner and I'm pretty sure he has a huge crush on me.

Just ew. He has a pudgy face and he's a jock and he smells weird and just…

No. Even if I was straight, no.

"What are you implying?" Alice narrowed her eyes at me, a playful smirk coming to her face.

"That you two are both immature when you get together," I rolled my eyes at her as we awaited the teacher and I diligently tried to ignore all the people whispering around us.

"Why, I never!" Alice gasped with mock hurt and a horrible Southern accent, bringing her hand to her chest.

"You are so weird," I rolled my eyes, trying and failing to hide my grin as I turned away and opened my textbook.

"What? The Southern accent thing doesn't work for you?" Alice teased, nudging me with her shoulder making me turn to look at her again.

"Nope. I hate Southern accents," I told her truthfully. I do not know what it is about Southern accents that drive me crazy, they just do.

"Hmm. Interesting. That bit usually kills," Alice sighed with faux frustration. "How about French?"

She proceeded to talk to me in a horrible grating French accent which made me shake my head and start giggling like a school girl with a crush.

Jeez, I'm giggling. I never giggle.

What is she doing to me?

We spent the next five minutes laughing almost obnoxiously loud and trading banter in horrible foreign accents which thankfully distracted me from the staring of my peers and left me in high spirits.

Suddenly in the midst of her terrible Dracula impression that had me burying my face in my arms to keep from laughing to loud, she stiffened up like a mannequin.

Her eyes widened slightly and then her head whipped towards the door. I tilted my head, confused.

"Alice?"

A low rumbling growl emanated from her chest, an angry, primal growl and I watched as her pupils dilated furiously, honey gold melting into inky black.

What the hell? What's going on with her?

"Alice," I muttered under my breath as her growling started becoming loud enough to be noticeable.

She made a choking sound and the growling abruptly cut off. I watched as she clutched the desk, little cracks beginning to form in it. I could see her fingers flexing violently, nearly crushing the desk beneath them. Alice's eyes never left the door.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I hissed, trying not to panic as people looked at us funny.

Why is she vamping out?!

She looks like she's about to go into psycho chomp-on-someones-throat-cause-I'm-that-pissed-right-now mode.

And then I saw why.

Instead of our usual snobby, snippy male Biology teacher walking in with his coffee spilling all over himself because he for some reason is always in a rush, someone else entered the room.

A woman. A gorgeous, creamy pale skinned woman with vibrant, fiery red-gold hair that seemed to glow and shimmer like real flames as she floated into the room. The room instantly silenced as her presence commanded total attention. Her eyes were almost the same color as her hair, except they were more of a deep blood red-golden color. The gold caused a sharp pang of recognition to hit me in the stomach.

It almost resembled the color of…Alice's eyes.

She walked behind the desk and set her bag down. She was wearing a low cut, black, V-neck shirt that dipped so low it should have been illegal. It was long-sleeved and she was wearing a white, unzipped vest over it. She was wearing impossibly tight black jeans and deadly looking stiletto heels.

And then she spoke.

"I'm sure you're all wondering who I am and where your regular teacher, Mr. Brody is. I'm sorry to inform you that Mr. Brody has been in an accident and is currently in critical condition at the hospital. I am the one who will be filling in for him until and if he returns."

What the hell kind of introduction was that?

Hi! I'm the substitute! Oh, by the way, your old teacher is dying and probably won't recover. If he doesn't, well, hahaha, I'll just be staying then! Isn't that wonderful?

Whatever. Maybe it's just me.

Her voice had a powerful, silky quality to it. It was warm, almost sickly sweet. It made me shudder and subconsciously shift closer to Alice. This move invited a low growl from the pixie but I knew it wasn't aimed at me. Instinctively, I realized it was a protective growl. Alice was still clutching the desk so hard I was worried she'd drive her fingers right through it. Her eyes were locked on this weird substitute with a look of pure rage and…

Fear…

Who is this chick and why does she have Alice going crazy in her seat? Alice was trembling slightly and I could see her top lip twitching as if it itched to curl back and drop her fangs.

"My name is Victoria, but you will refer to me as Ms. Loria. Is that clear?" 'Victoria' said, eyes sharply evaluating the room. I could see her calculating each and every student with those deep, scary red-gold eyes.

Victoria Loria. Interesting name.

When her gaze landed on me, she hesitated and then a slow smile came to her face. I felt Alice give a little jerk next to me which invited the woman's gaze to crawl over to her. The smile broadened and I could feel Alice pulled taut next to me like a slingshot with the band holding the rock pulled back so far it was about to break.

What is going on with her…?

"Ah, it does smell nice in here. Forks is so refreshing compared to my old hometown of Phoenix," Victoria sighed, walking around the desk and breathing in deeply. For some reason, this brought a cold chill to my body.

I used to live in Phoenix…

"I wonder what makes Forks smell so…nice," Victoria murmured, her gaze still locked on Alice as she leaned back into the desk. I could hear Alice's chest vibrating angrily next to me and the desk was slowly beginning to fracture beneath her inhuman strength.

I suddenly felt something in the air and there was a collective shift from everyone in the classroom but Alice whose lips parted in silent rage.

It took me a few seconds to understand what was happening and why this feeling felt so familiar, and then it hit me.

Pheromones.

Victoria is releasing pheromones into the air.

Holy shit, she's a vampire!

Realization nearly made me gasp aloud as I brought a hand to my mouth to keep it smothered. I was rocked back into my seat as I finally understood what Alice was freaking out about.

I squirmed slightly, feeling…violated, intruded upon as the pheromones made me dampen slightly between my legs. I knew the other kids in the room were feeling it too as I could hear them moving about. The males in the classroom were even going so far as to stare open-mouthed at Victoria. The girls looked decidedly uncomfortable.

_She's not supposed to do this to me. Only Alice can do this to me. Only Alice. I belong to Alice. I am not yours!_

Where the hell did that come from?! It was as if I had lost control of my thoughts for a moment and some deeper part of me had roared it's defiance of these pheromones probing against me.

And as I thought it, Alice lurched forward slightly, lip curling back in a vicious snarl. I watched her fangs dip out slightly only to retract again as she regained control and fell back into her seat, shaking hard with her arms crossed. I could see her clawing her own flesh, inviting tiny little cracks along her skin that quickly healed themselves…again and again, she repeated this. Luckily we were in the front row and no one could really see her well.

Victoria's disturbing smile turned into a mocking sneer at this and I could have sworn I saw her wink at Alice, which only set my girl tearing her skin even harder. I know it had to hurt…

I don't know what this vampire is doing here, and I certainly don't know why Alice is silently going ballistic there in her seat, but there has to be something deeper here. Alice was pissed before Victoria even walked into the room, before she even released the pheromones.

"Alright then, I'm sure we'll all get along fabulously now that the formalities are through. I'd like you all to turn in your books to page 253…"

I did as she asked and felt the pheromones dissipating. I barely heard another word she said as all through the class, I could feel Alice next to me, trembling and rumbling and glaring with all her vampire fury at the redhead floating about the room and teaching a lesson on something I didn't care to listen to.

* * *

When the bell rang 40 minutes later Alice slammed her textbook shut and stood up so quickly she almost knocked the stool over backwards. She threw the book into her bag and then turned to help me gather my things…

Which means she snatched my book up, threw it aggressively into my bag and then snatched both it _and_ me up. She took me by the elbow and yanked me up roughly, pushing me forward so hard I nearly fell.

"Alice, what the hell?" I snapped at her, turning to glare at her angrily. I know there's something wrong but god damn that actually hurts how hard she's holding my arm. And pushing me? That's just uncalled for.

"_Go_, Bella. _Now_!" Alice hissed and I tried to ignore all the whispering at our display. I couldn't bring myself to care at the moment. I could see the fear and frustration in her eyes and decided I should probably do what she said.

Alice kept her eyes locked on Victoria the whole way out of the room and made sure to keep herself between us the whole time. Victoria merely ignored us and turned to the board.

We swiftly exited and then Alice was dragging me down the hall at a breakneck pace. Literally. I tripped twice and nearly crashed into a freshman.

"Alice, what is going on? Let go of me, damn it! That hurts!" I yelled, finally fed up with this drag-Bella-like-a-dog-down-the-hall game.

I jerked on my arm and luckily she released it as we burst through the doors and moved through the parking lot. We both ignored the late bell.

Guess we're skipping Math.

Alice was walking ahead of me, snarling to herself and grumbling loudly, growling hard.

"Alice! Alice! Talk to me, please. Tell me what's going on!" I pleaded as we reached her yellow mustang. Ah yes, it is also common knowledge that the Cullens are rich. I had thought it impolite to ask how.

Impolite. Right. Because it's not impolite to make out with me then lift a car in front of my face, confess to me that she's a vampire and then jump me on my way out of her car and have to be rescued by her temptress of a sister so she didn't end up sucking my blood or…something else, against my will.

"Would you just hang on for a minute?! God!" Alice shouted back at me, whirling around to glare at me. I flinched and shrank back from her, pulling my hand back to my body as I had been reaching out to put it on her shoulder. I was profoundly stung by this. Alice had never raised her voice to me and certainly never looked at me so…angrily.

Well fine then. If you're going to be a bitch then see if I care.

I swallowed hard and knew I was probably overreacting but for some reason it just hurt more than it logically should have. We were both breathing hard though I'm sure she didn't need to.

"Bella…Oh, Bella, no, no, no. I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to go off on you like that…" Alice murmured, features softening incredibly. I just shifted and avoided her gaze. I felt her gently tugging on my arm, pulling me to her.

"Please don't be upset, Bells. I'm sorry," Alice pleaded, ducking her head slightly so I had to look into her eyes.

Alright, I was being a pouty child and I knew it. But I couldn't help it. She'd only ever treated me with adoration and affection.

I'm so stupid. What did I expect, that that was all I was going to get from her? I needed a reality check, and that was probably it.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm being overbearing. Will you please just tell me what's going on with you and that…that other vampire and why it's so important that we're skipping class for it?" I said and Alice only rumbled slightly, her features tightening again. She nodded though and began to pace.

For a long moment, she didn't say anything. And then she began talking, all the while growling and pacing.

"Her name is Victoria."

"I gathered as much."

Her eyes narrowed slightly at me and I decided that now was probably not the best time to be sarcastic.

"Sorry."

"Right. Well, she is, as you know, a vampire."

Pixie, I want you to explain to me what I _don't_ know.

"She's…fuck, Bella, this woman is from a long time ago. She's a part of my past I thought I had buried deep in the darkest parts of the darkness. I thought she was _gone_," Alice spat out as if it pained her. She snarled angrily and clutched at her hair, pulling at it in frustration as she recalled memories that were obviously painful for her.

I don't know what it could possibly be so bad that it can make Alice Cullen who is normally so calm and cool and collected get this frazzled just by walking into the room…

"She's back. I don't know how and I certainly do not know why, but I can guess. Oh yes, I can take a real educated fucking guess as to why she's here," Alice snapped, still pacing back and forth like a caged animal.

Jesus. I've never heard her cuss this much. Something is really wrong here.

Why am I stating the obvious like a fricking idiot to myself?

"Well, you_ can _see the future," I commented with a slight smile, trying to get her to relax a little. She smirked at this, a tight little smirk as if she had just remembered that fact.

"Yes, I can indeed. And she won't get near me and I will make damn sure she doesn't get near you. Not for anything. I won't let her hurt you, Bella. I swear it," Alice proclaimed, turning to me and staring at me hard with a promise I didn't understand.

"I don't get it! What could be so possibly bad about this woman? And why do you have to protect me from anything? Is it just because she's another vampire? I don't see how that matters," I huffed, confused to the point of annoyance.

Alice's smirk became a grim, thin line over her face.

"She's the monster we all try to keep hidden inside ourselves, Bella. Victoria is a monster in every sense of the word, nothing less, nothing more. She is a sick, twisted, horrible-"

"Bitch," Rosalie said from right next to me, effectively scaring the living piss out of me.

Just because you _can _walk without making a noise doesn't mean you _should_, Blondie!

I nearly had a heart attack as Emmett, Jasper and Edward all rushed towards us as several blurs.

"Damn it! Stop doing that!" I cried as they skirted to a stop next to me.

"Sorry," they all said at once.

No, that's not creepy at all.

Snort.

I shook my head, fed up with vampire weirdness.

"How did you guys know to come out here?" I asked instead.

"I called to Edward through my mind," Alice mumbled still pacing.

Oh. Right. Of course. Mind talk.

Come on now, Bella. Get with the program. That's how all the cool kids talk now-a-days! Who needs cell phones when you can speak through your mind?

Sigh.

"Will someone please tell me why Alice is freaking out over this Victoria chick?" I huffed, almost throwing my hands up in exasperation. Work with me people, _work_ with me.

"Alice, stop. Stop it! Look at me," Rosalie hissed, catching Alice by her arms and giving her a little shake. Alice growled a little but they locked eyes and slowly, Alice relaxed and stopped curling her lip back in a snarl. It was odd to see the two not snapping their fangs at each other for once.

"_She will not touch you_," Rosalie vowed with a certainty that could not be questioned, her voice low and powerful. Alice's features relaxed slightly and they held gazes for a long moment before she turned slowly, looking around at all of us almost seeking out this promise from each of us.

"She won't get near you ever again, Alice. We won't let her," Jasper reaffirmed and Emmett cracked his knuckles, looking uncharacteristically serious…and menacing.

"I'll rip her head off," he declared, his voice almost a growl. Suddenly I was surrounded by very angry, very volatile and upset vampires.

Awesome.

"She was gone. I saw her _burn_," Alice hissed, her voice catching lightly as she put her face in her hands and fell back against the car. Rosalie released her grip on her. Alice turned her head slightly and I could see pain all across her face.

No, don't mind me. I'll just stand here, looking stupid.

I suddenly felt a longing for my old, boring life.

"Somebody please explain to me what the hell is going on or else I'm going back to class," I put in, completely tired of feeling out of the loop. I care about Alice a lot, but there's only so much insanity I can take.

Nobody said anything (shocker) so I pursed my lips and turned on my heel, making for the door of the school.

"Oh yeah, that's real supportive you heartless-" I heard Rosalie start and felt the anger boiling in my stomach at her ironic insult of unsupportive and heartless but Alice cut her and my biting retort off.

"Stop. Bella, come back. I just need a minute, okay?" Alice sighed and I reluctantly turned back to them.

I felt a little ashamed for almost up and leaving so quickly. Obviously something is incredibly wrong here, and I'm being a selfish bitch to just get so fed up so quickly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…I'm not used to this much excitement or anything. I don't like not knowing what's happening," I murmured to her and she nodded once.

"I can relate," she replied softly. She glanced up at me and our eyes locked. Alice's eyes were a deep, troubled ebony, swirling with fear and anger, so emotional that it almost took my breath away.

"Alice," I breathed, "You can tell me anything. You can trust me." I did my best to pour my honesty into my words, to let her know I was serious.

We stayed like that for what felt like forever before she closed her eyes and began recounting the story to me, all the while the hurt and pain etched across her face so clearly it made me want to wrap her in my arms and never let go.

"Two years ago, I was swimming in the river out behind our house. I was alone and everyone was out hunting but me. This woman, Victoria and a man, her mate, James came across me. I knew they were vampires. It's part of being a vampire, you just _know_. I was naked; I mean, no one was around me. What could it matter? The male, James tried to rape me upon sight."

Here my breath hitched slightly and I heard several growls from within this circle of vampires.

No. Please, please no…Not that…Anything but that…

Not to Alice, never to my Alice…

"I ripped his…you know, off before he could even lay a hand on me. In a fit of rage, he tried to kill me." Here, a light bitter smirk came to her face. Alice's eyes were still closed.

"Obviously he failed. He was clumsy and foolish, barely out of the newborn phase. I ripped him apart without a bit of remorse. He was a sick, cruel, disgusting…God, he was just _wrong_. Victoria…Well she just watched the whole thing. Didn't even say a damned thing as I turned her mate into sushi and fed him to the fishes," Alice muttered, eyes opening but looking glazed and far away.

Her tone made me shiver slightly. This was not the Alice I was accustomed to, not the happy, cool and goofy girl I had been steadily coming to know. This was a haunted, tortured Alice that I had never even suspected existed…

And the way she spoke…'turned him into sushi and fed him to the fishes…'

"And then she spoke to me. I have never felt anything so raw, so invasive, so intense as her pheromones slamming into me. You think my pheromones are strong? Victoria's are ten times that. She said, 'Why, that was an impressive display. But now you've gone and ruined my playmate. Now I'll have to get a new one…'"

I think I have an idea of where this is headed and I really do not like it. I had thought Alice had managed to escape the terrifying rape possibility, but now…

"Oh, Alice, no…" I whimpered, sympathy hitting me as that bitter smile became a bitter laugh.

"She said I was lovely. Right before she hit me with a dose of pheromones that would have made an ancient vampire's legs tremble. I thought I was going to die. It didn't hurt, no. It felt so good I thought I was going to explode…But it was too intense, too powerful, too overwhelming…I thought I was going to go insane. I really did. She didn't rape me, not technically. She raped my mind, pulled it apart, pulled me apart from the inside out…You see, her power is like Esme's, only more intrusive and non-consensual…"

I bit my lip as Alice continued on.

"Victoria leaned in and kissed me, just barely brushed her lips against mine. I felt so helpless…Never have I been as terrified as I was in that moment. I sobbed so hard I thought I might actually be able to produce tears. I thought she had me. I thought I was done for. There was no fighting it. There was only one person in the world that could save me, who could fight this woman and her sick power, and that person was 50 miles away, deep into the mountains hunting deer…"

Here, Alice looked up and straight into Rosalie's eyes.

"And that person came. I don't know how, but she knew. She knew something was wrong. Rosalie came and she _saved_ me. She saved me from that sick bitch. The thing about Rosalie is, her power is even more raw and primal than Victoria's. But still, it wasn't enough. Victoria is strong. She is old, three hundred years so. Rosalie is not. They fought and fought and I couldn't help…I was curled up in a pathetic little ball, dry sobbing for all I was worth while Rosalie damn near died to protect me…"

"You know that I would have. You know that I would again and again for you. It won't happen again. I'm stronger, _you're_ stronger, _we're _stronger. I don't know how that bitch is still alive but I'll break her in two and feed her other half to herself before she gets near you again," Rosalie swore, eyes blazing.

"Damn right," Emmett agreed and Jasper and Edward nodded.

"Rosalie managed to run her off after the family arrived. There was no way Victoria could stand all of us. Victoria is incredibly fast, even faster than Speedy here," Alice chuckled slightly, nodding her head towards Edward.

"She got away. She didn't _stay _away though. She stalked me for another three months. I could see her in my visions and it positively terrified me. I could see her in the shadows, in my daydreams, in the corner of my eye, always watching, waiting, hunting me down. It became too much. I was sick and scared and tired of it all, tired of wondering when she'd launch herself at me and finish what she started. And that's when we made our mistake," Alice whispered.

During the course of her story I had slipped closer to her, my hand on her arm in a comforting gesture. She leaned into me, laying her head on my shoulder and I could feel her trembling. It very nearly broke my heart.

"Carlisle suggested we go to the Volturi. The Volturi are a very old, very powerful coven of vampires. They are manipulative and…not very nice, to put it simply. The Volturi have been trying to recruit us into their coven for a long time. Carlisle speculates that they crave power, to someday rule as superior beings to humans in the open light. Obviously, we do not agree but I digress. We went to them as Esme was becoming so worried about me…"

"We should have just hunted the bitch down and killed her," Emmett snapped, cracking his knuckles again.

Alice let out a slight smile at her adopted brother's protective nature.

"Indeed. But I am a coward and could not bear to let them go after her, could not bear anyone of us to leave in my fear. So we asked the Volturi to kill her. How stupid, how selfish of me," Alice hissed, and I wrapped my arms around her. I felt her shaking and felt her slowly nuzzle into the crook of my neck where a modicum of calm came to her.

I felt a rush of affection at this and lightly brushed my lips across the top of her head, telling her that I was here for her.

"The Volturi agreed. They caught her in three days and brought her before us in four. We were in their palace and she was held down on her knees in front of us. And they did it. They killed her. But she wasn't scared…No, she looked…Amused as she stared into my eyes and _winked _as if to say 'I'll be back'…She screamed though, when they tore her apart…I watched her burn to ashes…She was _gone!_ _She was gone_!" Alice shuddered in my arms and I felt a frustrated sob emanating from her.

Everyone stepped closer and Jasper put a hand on her back. Slowly, I could feel a wave of calm pouring out into the air. Alice stopped trembling and with a shaky voice managed to go on.

"The thing with the Volturi is that they don't just hand out favors. We are in debt to them, Bella. And that is one thing you never want to be. You never want to owe the Volturi _anything_. And we owe them _big_, Bella. We had a vampire killed for no reason other than that I was scared and that Carlisle was an old friend of theirs…"

"As far as I'm concerned, we don't owe them shit. They pulled something. I don't know how they did what they did or why, but they did it and now we owe them _nothing_. We'll take care of Victoria how we should have in the first place," Edward muttered darkly. Hearing him curse felt weird. He seemed more like the Sir, you've upset me and now I'm afraid I must rip your throat out type. Not the cussing type.

Alice stiffened slightly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea…" she said, turning from my shoulder to look at Edward. I could see them talking though I knew it wasn't verbally. Alice was reading expressions, Edward was reading minds.

"You know what Aro saw. You know he knows," Alice murmured and Edward nodded slightly before responding, "Yes, I suppose it's best we do not act too irrationally. We need to talk to Carlisle and now."

Know what, damn it! I'm seriously about to stomp my foot and face palm a bitch if they keep keeping things from me!

"You can't be serious. Not over her. Four days. Four days and now you're willing to bend to the Volturi for her?!" Rosalie shouted and Alice quickly turned on her, glaring Rosalie into silence.

Well, there I go, tripping out of this insane loop.

Any sibling affection I had witnessed between the two female vampires was now gone as they glared at each other hard.

"I'd die for her," Alice tilted her chin up in defiance.

I assume her is me.

That's nice and everything, but why would you die for me?

Sometimes I wish Alice was the one who could read minds.

"Would you face Victoria for her?" Rosalie spat back.

Oh, _low blow_. That's not cool, even for you, Blondie.

Alice, however, did not falter.

"A thousand times over. I said I'd keep her safe and I _meant_ it. Whatever happens, Bella comes first. This isn't about just me anymore. She knows it and I know it. You didn't see her in there. You didn't see how she looked at Bella…And how she looked at me."

"What am I not being told now?" I whined, trying not to sound like a petulant child.

"Nothing," Alice said, refusing to look at me. _Real _convincing. She wasn't even trying to pretend anymore.

I saw Rosalie hesitate on the brink of saying something. She finally just growled and shook her head.

"Fine. But I'm not doing this for her. I'm doing it for you," Rosalie snapped. Alice nodded before turning to look at the rest of her family while I tried not to shriek in frustration next to her.

"I'm not going to push you guys into this again. This was my fight from the beginning. It was never supposed to be yours. I fully understand if you don't want to help-"

"Aw, cut the shit, Alice! You don't need to give some inspirational hero speech here. We've always got your back and if these two idiots here refuse, well I'll knock some sense into 'em. We're family, stupid, and so is Bella. We're all in this thing," Emmett interrupted, lightly nudging Edward and Jasper.

It brought a smile to everyone's face except for Rosalie who only shook her head.

"Of course we've got your back. You're so busy looking into the future, someones got to protect it," Jasper grinned.

"You know I'm always here for you," Edward murmured and put a hand on her shoulder.

Alice was beaming now and looked more like her old self than ever. Then she turned to me and her smile dimmed slightly, becoming serious once more.

"Bella, I'm telling you right now, this is bigger than you can probably grasp at the moment. I'm not going to lie to you because you aren't stupid and you aren't a kid, though you are young in vampire terms. This is dangerous. This situation, this whole thing is not good. This is a lot to handle in so little time, but I need to know if you're with me on this. I need to know now. I don't have to see the future to know that whatever is going to happen is going to happen fast," Alice told me, eyes boring into my own, reading so deep I felt like she was reading into my soul.

They aren't telling me everything yet this explosion of information more than covers my want and simultaneous not want to know what was going on. She's keeping something from me, but I trust her. I don't know why I should or why I do, but there is something between us. Maybe it's the mate connection, I don't know.

All I know is that if being with her means sticking by her through whatever may be coming, then hell yes. I never had any intention of leaving her. Alice is pretty much the only thing keeping me sane this week. Alice is Alice...And I'm pretty sure that I love her. The thought of leaving her just does not compute with me.

"I'm with you. I'm with you like this," I said with unusual confidence and determination as I gently took her hand in my own, "And I'm with you however else you need me to be. I don't know what this Victoria chick or these Voltori people want or how I fit into all of this, but I'm with you, Alice._ I _promise _you_."

And with that, I leaned in and softly kissed her. She smiled hugely against my lips.

"Well hell yeah!" Emmett whooped. "Now let's go kick some redhead vampire ass!"

We all laughed and even Rosalie let out a small, grudging smile.

"Jasper and I will take my car to Carlisle's hospital, Rosalie and Emmet can drive the SUV back and Alice, you will of course wish to accompany Bella in your Mustang, yes?" Edward declared. Apparently he was going to lead us onward from here for the moment.

Alice nodded and I breathed in deeply as everyone took one last look at each other before going to their respective cars. Alice blurred over to the passengar side of the car and like a true gentlewoman opened the door for me. I smiled and shook my head as she gave me a playful smirk.

"Your carriage awaits, my lady," Alice bowed and spoke with a surprisingly good British accent.

"Thank you, kind sir," I rolled my eyes at her, getting in the car. She shut the door and then got in on her side.

A moment later and we were peeling out of the parking lot.

Though I was smiling on the outside, I was churning on the inside.

As Alice lay her hand on mine, I had to wonder just what I had really gotten myself into.


	9. Too Far Gone

We reached the hospital in about twenty minutes. I saw Edward and Jasper getting out of their car a few spaces down and Rosalie and Emmett pulling into the parking lot. Alice quickly got out.

I shut my door and followed behind Alice, trying not to get too squeamish. Hospitals always make me nervous. I hate that too clean smell and the feel of death hanging over me, not to mention I hate blood.

Ha, the feel of death hanging over me. Like I'm not apparently dealing with that outside of a hospital.

We entered the hospital with Edward and Jasper with Rosalie and Emmett close behind us.

"Excuse me, Miss? Where is Doctor Cullen?" Alice called to a secretary babbling away on her phone.

"You'll have to make an appointment," the secretary called back, pretty much completely ignoring us. "Oh, I know, Frieda! He is _such _a dog…"

What a bitch.

"This is in an emergency," Alice insisted, scowling in frustration.

We seriously do not have time for this woman's attitude.

"Tell me about it," The nurse rolled her eyes. "Just come back some…other…time…" The woman trailed off slowly as Emmett stepped forward and placed his hands on the desk while very pointedly glaring into her eyes.

"Where. Is. Doctor. Cullen?" he said very slowly and in a measured, threatening tone of voice.

Jeez. _I_ almost shivered and he wasn't even_ looking _at me.

"Um…Straight down that hallway, take a left and then a right…He's in the last room on the left…" she whispered, trembling slightly.

"Thank you," Edward managed politely as we all took off down that hallway.

"I hate doing that to people," Emmett murmured as we semi walked/ran down the hallway.

She kind of deserved it for totally not doing her job. I hate people like that. You're paid to work, not talk to Frieda about how her man be sleeping around 'an stuff.

We reached the room the rude lady had mentioned and Alice didn't hesitate to barge right in.

Alright, so _now_ who's being rude?

I followed them, I mean, what else was I going to do?

There was a man sitting at a desk which was very neatly organized. He had sleek blond hair and honey golden eyes. He was, of course, gorgeous. He looked up and raised his eyebrow as six what looked to be teenagers all rushed into his office.

I assume this is Carlisle.

The word cool came to mind. Who else but a vampire could merely calmly lean back into his chair and look at six (supposedly) teenagers exploding into his office?

"Why are you all not in school? And who is this?" Carlisle said, running his sharp eyes over me in a calculating manner.

Don't squirm, don't squirm…

I flinched.

Damn it.

"This is Bella. Dad, we need to talk. Like, now," Alice answered, not allowing him to be distracted by me.

It didn't work.

"So _this_ is the famous Isabella Swan you can't stop talking about? Esme called and told me about what happened with you and Rosalie. I have to say, Alice, I'm very disappointed in…"

"Carlisle. This is not the time for that. Victoria is back," Edward swiftly interrupted Carlisle's no doubt fatherly disapproval speech.

Carlisle's eyes widened and then narrowed before he sighed deeply.

"I just can't catch a break today," he murmured before motioning to the seats in front of his desk. "Alright, explain."

I glanced at Alice but she was focused on Carlisle.

"She's back. We don't know how and we're not sure why, but she's here and she's clearly going to stay. She is apparently the new substitute for Alice's Biology class," Edward began explaining. Alice remained stoic and silent, looking extremely troubled and emotional.

On the up-side, it helped her whole teenager look.

I lightly put a hand on her shoulder and she briefly glanced at me, gave me a small smile that didn't reach her eyes and then went back to staring at Carlisle.

I sighed, pulling my hand back. I can't help but worry about her. She's never acted like this.

Well, okay, I've known her for what, less than a week?

I thought she said we were going to take this slow anyway...

"So…she just up and appeared at your school?" Carlisle raised his eyebrow again skeptically.

"Apparently," Rosalie muttered sarcastically under her breath to which Carlisle smiled lightly at.

"I don't quite understand. The Volturi clearly ended her life…"

"We realize this. That's why we're here, asking you for help," Alice snapped and this time Carlisle's eyes narrowed, making me tense up.

I know Alice is completely on edge right now, but getting pissy with her father isn't going to help. She seemed to realize this too and sighed.

"Sorry, sorry…" she apologized and Carlisle nodded in acknowledgment.

"You said she was the new substitute? Could she be filling in for a certain Kyle Brody, perhaps?" Carlisle tilted his head and Alice nodded.

"How'd you know that?" she asked, furrowing her brow which would have been cute in another situation but now only reflected how I felt.

"Ah, I see. Today a man was rushed to our hospital. The cause? Severe lacerations along his throat, most noticeably the one that severed his jugular vein. His name was Kyle Brody. He died within three minutes of reaching us. However…" Carlisle spoke calmly but with a slightly disturbed look on his face.

When the cool guy is disturbed, so am I.

"Within one minute of being pronounced dead, he began to scream."

There was a sharp, collective gasp from everyone in the room but me.

Zombies? What? I don't get it…

"Yes. He was beginning the transformation into a vampire. The virus acts quickly, as you all know…" Carlisle confirmed their guess as to what was happening to Mr. Brody.

Wait, wait, wait.

Virus?

What, is being a vampire a sickness now?

"What do you mean _virus_?" I inquired, curiosity beginning to burn inside me. I had thought it just a weird, mythical abnormal thing that happened for no reason.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. I forgot that we had not been able to meet beforehand, and therefore I did not get to explain some things to you the other night. You see, vampires are actually medical conundrums," Carlisle began and there was a loud groan from the other five people in the room.

"Carlisle, is now really the time for a medical lesson?" Alice whined, sounding extremely like she had the day Esme had been talking to me while she was laying on the couch.

"Why are you all so impatient? It'll take but a few moments to inform her of how this works. Obviously you have not been informing her in my absence. I would've thought you of all people, Alice, would want to keep your girlfriend updated, especially with all the trauma Bella must be experiencing. This is not a normal situation for someone in case you forgot," Carlisle admonished and Alice shifted guiltily.

"You're right. I'm sorry," she mumbled and I blushed.

I'd just gotten my girlfriend in trouble with her Dad.

How awesome am I?

Carlisle turned to me and then went on a very confusing ramble of just what turns one into a vampire.

"Technically and medically speaking, we are vampires because of a virus. I have taken the liberty of naming it Vampriosia. I do not know where or why this virus came to be or originated from. What I do know is that when one is bitten, the virus must be injected into the bloodstream by the vampire's saliva or rather, venom. However, the white blood cells are very skilled at killing the Vampriosia virus. So the vampire must drain the victim of blood enough so that the white blood cells cannot be circulated easily and are small enough in number to not be a threat to the virus. The vampire injects massive quantities of venom to outdo the white blood cells," Carlisle explained, talking directly to me.

I frowned as I tried to comprehend all of what he was saying.

"Enough blood is left inside the victim to circulate throughout the body and fill it with the virus. The virus spreads to every single possible cell within, infecting every one of them. The muscle and tissue cells are enhanced fifty times over, giving us incredible strength. Skin cells are given an incredible hard quality, becoming an infinitely more powerful defense than the fragile, easily broken human skin. The Vampriosia cells also take in oxygen. How is still a mystery, but the little amount of blood remaining endlessly circulates oxygen through the body without needing to inhale. It's quite fascinating really."

Fascinating. More like confusing as fuck. He's speaking so passionately and excitedly and going really freaking fast.

"The virus completely takes over each cell, morphing it, changing it to fit itself. However, the body still requires nutrients and sustenance. Now, when the brain cells become infected, it unlocks something deep and primal within the vampire. Over time, self control may be reestablished, but the hunger for the hunt and the desire to act upon more instinctual urges remains. Apparently, the food source the Vampriosia virus desires is blood. More importantly, human blood. The virus encourages this by making blood an aphrodisiac for all five senses. I actually am debating whether or not the Vamrpiosia virus is more like a parasite but..."

Can I like face-palm him or something? I can barely keep up with anything he's saying, let alone understand it!

"Carlisle, slow down," Edward chuckled at the look on my face.

"Hmm? Oh, my apologies, Bella. Well, those are merely the basics. We can continue that conversation another time. Anyway, the change is an extremely painful procedure, unless the one being changed is being changed by their mate. Needless to say, Mr. Brody was not enjoying what was happening to him," Carlisle went on.

"Okay, so what did you do?" Alice asked, watching her father a bit apprehensively. "You didn't…Kill him, did you?"

I swallowed hard.

"He was not going to make it. He had lung cancer, probably from his long life as a smoker. It was euthanasia, Alice. Do not let it bother you. He would only have suffered intense agony for days before dying in the end," Carlisle murmured, standing and I assumed this conversation was coming to an close.

"I don't think anyone here will be surprised to learn that this was probably Victoria's doing," Carlisle said to our somber faces.

I may not have liked Mr. Brody, but I didn't want him to _die_, and certainly not like that…The idea that someone I knew had been murdered made something inside me recoil. I felt sick to my stomach.

Victoria is one fucked up bitch.

"Alice, it's going to be okay. Now, I'm obviously having trouble believing this, but I trust you guys. I need to make a few calls. You guys can wait here for me. And Bella, I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. I'm looking forward to getting to know the girl who stole my daughter's heart better," Carlisle added for me, winking with genuine fatherly playfulness at me.

I blushed and Rosalie snorted while Alice shifted uncomfortably.

"You too," I cleared my throat and nodded at him.

Carlisle left the room, not exactly hurrying but not dilly-dallying either.

The room was extremely tense and quiet after that. I really did have to wonder where I fit into all of this insanity.

Bat shit insane vampires, one who may or may not be out to kill me for revenge on a certain other vampire who lusts for me like I'm sex incarnate if she sniffs my blood to long and is also simultaneously deeply and irrevocably in love with me, while her sister vampire probably wants to wail on me like Bella The Lesbian Piñata girl…

What a fucking week.

I honestly don't know who's silently freaking out more right now, me or Alice.

I said I was with her, but am I really? Am I just being swept up in all this madness without any ability to protest? I really do have to wonder if this is all some crazy dream or nightmare and I'll wake up soon, sweating and gasping as my alarm clock blares next to me, then have to go to school and remember that Alice Cullen is _not _in love with me, probably doesn't even know I exist…

This makes my heart squeeze painfully. I wonder vaguely which I would prefer, this as a reality or this as a dream…

I wonder if Alice means more to me than my sanity. Honestly, she is the only real reason I can see for me standing here with these vampires and not curled up in my bed at home, watching porn and rereading Harry Potter for the thousandth time.

"Alice, are you okay?" Jasper murmured, breaking the awful silence that had descended upon the room.

"What do you think?" she huffed back, running a hand through her hair. The bitchy attitude was back.

"Quit being such a bitch to everyone, God. He's just worried about you like the rest of us," Rosalie growled at her.

"Oh, how _ironic_. You calling someone a bitch? Now it's not so hard to believe Victoria is back. I'd sooner believe that then believe Rosalie Lillian Hale had the gall to call someone else a bitch," Alice snapped back viciously, venom coating her words and not of the vampire kind.

Okay, that was really harsh, even aimed at Rosalie. I know she's bugging out right now, but she _is _being a bitch. She really needed to just cool it.

"Listen, you little-" Rosalie started furiously, taking a step towards her and _by the way_, how the _hell_ did I end up separating the two?

"Girls, relax!" Edward attempted and I could feel the rage radiating off of them.

"No, you know what? She is not the only one upset right now and she's being a selfish little brat and all we're trying to do is help!" Rosalie shouted, towering over me and Alice.

I wondered if I had the speed and grace to move before she went apeshit on Alice again. Clearly mine and Alice's nerves are not the only ones on edge.

"Go to hell! You have no idea what this feels like!" Alice yelled back as the tension exploded.

"Bullshit! I was there that night too in case you forgot!" Rosalie answered, voice rising to meet Alice's. Rosalie took another step forward and I was almost pressed between the two as Alice growled threateningly at Rosalie's challenge.

"You didn't feel what she did to me! Don't you dare try and act like you know what I'm feeling!" Alice hissed, angry energy crackling between the two of them, making me squirm nervously.

"Don't you _dare_ pretend like she didn't try that on me either!" Rosalie snarled, her terrifying temper beginning to pull out of her control.

I was steadily trying to inch out from between them but it was all to no avail as Rosalie damn near shoved me out of her way as she advanced on Alice.

At this, Alice exploded. She lunged as I stumbled into the door of Carlisle's office and slammed into her sister. They crashed back into Carlisle's desk as their brothers rushed to break them apart.

"Don't you _ever_ put your hands on her!" Alice raged as she crashed Rosalie down into the desk, effectively crushing it into pieces. They crumpled into a kicking, punching blur in the mess.

Rosalie snarled back, baring her fangs as she wrapped a hand around Alice's throat in time to be yanked back by Emmett, quite possibly the only person who could stop her in that moment. My breath hitched at the familiar gesture as I recalled what had happened the last time Rosalie had got her hands on Alice's neck.

Wooden debris and woodchips were scattered about the room as Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice's waist and Edward stood between the two struggling parties, trying to calm them down. Alice jerked violently, hissing angrily as Jasper restrained her. Emmett was wrestling with a furious Rosalie, trying to acquiesce her rage.

"Calm down! Chill out, damn it! _Rosalie_!" Emmett shouted over her hissing and spitting as Jasper sent out a wave of relaxing vibes.

Slowly their struggling began to ease. Alice's fangs retracted but her chest didn't stop rumbling. Rosalie was shaking in Emmett's grasp as he whispered soothing words in her ear.

Me?

Well I was pinned against the door, trying not to wet myself.

"Everybody just calm down before people start wondering what's going on in here! Do you guys want to be the ones to explain why Carlisle's office is now in shambles?" Edward shouted, running a hand through his mahogany colored hair.

Everybody was quiet for a long moment and then Alice jerked out of Jasper's grip.

"I need some space," she muttered darkly and moved towards the door. I swallowed and moved to get out of her way but she gently caught my hand, her chest heaving and her eyes dark.

"Not from you. Please, Bella…Come with me," she whispered, opening the door and pulling me after her without really letting me reply. I would have gone with her anyway, but it would have been nice if I'd been given a choice in the matter…

She dragged me down the hallway, grumbling to herself until we reached a bathroom. She pushed me inside and finally released my hand from her death grip.

Inside, she began to pace.

Here we go again.

Vampire battles just always cause problems. I was still jittery over it.

"Alice, please stop it. Can't you just talk to me? Can you even look at me for more than a split second?" I cried, fed up with this moody, caged animal Alice.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to drag you into this mess. I never meant for any of this," Alice responded, voice tight and frustrated. She still wouldn't look at me.

"Alice…Alice, just talk to me," I breathed, moving toward her and bravely catching her arm, halting her back and forth walk.

We locked eyes for the first time since the school parking lot. Last time she'd spilled her heart and soul to me.

Now, she pressed her lips together and gave me the most intense stare I've ever gotten. Her eyes trailed over me, pausing at my lips and then over my heaving chest.

Fuck.

Oh, _fuck_.

I've seen that look before. I know what follows that look when it comes to Alice.

"Alice," I whispered.

It was all she needed. She lurched forward and smashed her lips against mine hard. I moaned reflexively. I had no idea where that came from, this powerful lust she had suddenly become overwhelmed with.

"Bella," she breathed against my lips, wrapping her arms around me, tangling her left hand in my hair while her right arm slipped around my waist. I melted into her, folding into her body. We fit perfectly in my opinion as my knees gave out.

"Alice…mmph…What're you…Mm…" I garbled out as she backed me into one of the sinks and plunged her tongue into my mouth. The contrasting hot and cold made me whimper as I weakly, halfheartedly tried to push her off.

To say that now was not the time would be a huge understatement.

And then she started sucking on my tongue. I groaned, my head buzzing and swimming as pheromones began seeping into the air while her venom mixed with my saliva, creating a fizzy concoction in my mouth that set my heart pounding and my privates throbbing.

Alice, Alice, Alice…

Everything felt amazing when she touched me like this. I bucked my hips as I began losing the ability to form rational thought, my body naturally reacting to Alice on more than one level.

Clearly, as it's not rational to allow your girlfriend to jump you like this when it's obvious she's trying to distract herself from all the shit going on around her…

I was sopping wet in an instant and I felt her groaning into my mouth while her chest vibrated in delight. She pulled away from my mouth and began kissing that still unhealed hickey, causing it to sting painfully and also to throb with pleasure like certain other extremities.

It's never going to go away if she keeps this up. It's probably baseball sized now for all I know. I haven't been paying it any attention. A completely inappropriate yet mortifying thought occurred to me.

Her father had seen that hickey.

_Fuck_ my life.

Alice seemed intent on doing just that as she suddenly shoved her thigh between my legs and ran her hands down my back, cupping my ass and grinding me into it.

I _mewled_.

I mewled like a pathetic little kitten.

I didn't even _know_ I could mewl.

Alice Cullen, dropping panties since 1992.

This is assuming she's actually eighteen which I highly doubt. She'd said Victoria was three hundred years old…Does this make her a pedophile?

Oh God.

All these thoughts were cut off as Alice rumbled into my mouth, kissing me hungrily while I cried out and began humping her leg like a dog in heat. Jesus, I felt like a horny thirteen year old boy. I blushed and pulled my lips from hers, gasping as she pushed harder into me, not allowing me to stop.

We couldn't do this. I couldn't do this. I still barely knew what I was doing but I was not really aware of this. I was mostly just aware of Alice, and how we really, really shouldn't be making out right now.

"So warm, Bella. You're so _warm_…God, you smell so good," Alice moaned as she kept kissing at my neck and pretty much forcing me to ride her thigh.

I felt so embarrassed and ashamed but I could feel a familiar swell building in me, a hot pleasure tightening in my stomach as I struggled to find my voice and continued to buck my hips frantically.

I can't do this. Not here, not now, not like this. I know for sure if she keeps pushing into me like this, kissing me and talking like that in my ear in that husky, rasping voice that I'm going to lose it…

I can't. Just no.

I am so sick of feeling like I'm powerless, so sick of this helpless feel that has overtaken my life in less than a week.

"Alice, please…Wait, _wait_…" I gasped out and then groaned as she twisted her knee into me, pheromones pulsing through my veins, making me soak my underwear. I arched, clawing at her shoulders, completely supported by her leg.

She kept swallowing my pleas with her mouth, either ignoring them or seriously not hearing them. I highly doubted it was the latter.

"Alice, stop…" I choked out as she kept kissing me and I could feel the knot in my stomach tightening even more.

If she didn't stop soon…

"Alice, Alice, _please_…I'm going to…You're gonna make me…" My broken whimpers did not sway her as she continued swirling her amazing, flexible tongue inside my mouth, making me collapse into her, my hips never stopping their desperate rhythm.

Even when Alice's hand trailed down my chest, brushing against my breast but skipping by it…

Even when Alice's hand reached the button of my jeans and unsnapped them while she whispered naughty things in my ear…

My God, her voice, what she was saying was enough to make me shake against her…

I just couldn't control my body's reactions even as my mind screamed in protest.

"Stop," I choked out, desperately trying to get her to since I obviously couldn't bring myself to at the moment. Inexperienced, blushing, scared, confused, embarrassed and desperate…I was all of those things as Alice's fingertips began slipping into my soaked underwear.

"Alice, Bella, are you two in here-Oh, my!"

The door busted open and in came Esme, surprised mother fashion and all.

I yelped and Alice jerked back, causing my weak knees to buckle as I fell to the floor, my hands grasping at the sink and her shirt not helping whatsoever.

I crashed down and yelped as I cracked my elbow.

Great.

So now, on top of vampires and an emo girlfriend, I have to deal with a searing pain and possible bruise on my elbow, just because Life think it's more fun that way.

Fuck.

Alice had whirled upon her mother's entry but quickly reached down to help me up as my eyes began to water.

"Bella! I'm so sorry!" she apologized again and again, hauling me up by my uninjured arm. I cradled the other and couldn't help but flinch away from Alice.

I did not have short term memory loss. I hadn't forgotten how she'd kept going even when I was practically begging for her to cease her ruthless assault with her thigh and mouth. And no, no matter how good it had felt, I did not appreciate being reduced to the equivalent of a dog in heat, humping her leg like that.

Alice looked confused and hurt by this but I was less bothered by it than you would think. Not after what she'd just pulled.

"Oh, oh dear! I'm _so _sorry, girls! Carry on! I simply came to check on you as Carlisle said you'd disappeared somewhere. Oh, and Alice? He's not happy about his office," Esme called as she quickly backed out again, closing the door behind her with a slight wink.

I think this is the only time I will ever be thankful to be cock-blocked.

"Bella…" Alice whispered, taking a small step back as I refused to look at her. I know my face was burning up with my blush. The thought that she could actually smell what was going on between my thighs made me shift uncomfortably.

"I told you to stop. I know you weren't vamping out too because you were talking to me the whole time," I croaked instead, my voice sounding weird after all that.

Alice stiffened and parted her lips slightly but remained silent as I pushed on.

"Why didn't you stop? I know you're freaking out right now but have you even considered the fact that maybe I'm just a little bit _more_ freaked out? Vampires, lions, tigers and bears, oh fucking my! I've barely had any time to get used to any of this and now you're jumping me and practically raping me and I just-"

I was stammering and almost stuttering but damn it, I couldn't take this anymore.

"No! God, no! Bella, I would never, ever do that to you! I swear it! I didn't mean to-" Alice protested, taking a step toward me and reaching out for me.

This time, I was the one who pulled away. All my emotions were becoming scattered and I'm sure I reflected that extremely distraught look on her face. It wasn't that I was trying to upset her, and I'm sure she hadn't been trying to upset me. Things were just going that way.

I suppose it was inevitable. Who had I been kidding, trying to trick myself into believing I could seriously take this all in stride? Vampires? _Angry_ vampires out to kill me? Seeing the future? Reading minds?

I thought I might have been going insane.

"I can't do this! I just can't! I haven't gotten to stop for even a few minutes in this crazy…whatever this is! I can't process anything because it's just one thing after another with you! Nothing is making sense and now you're trying to get your freak on with me and I just…I just _can't_ right now, Alice!" I ranted, still unable to meet her eyes as tears began to pour down my face.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, Bella! I shouldn't have done that! I wasn't thinking! I'm sorry. What else can I say?" Alice cried, eyes beseeching mine. She looked so frustrated and torn about this.

I shook my head and bit my lip.

"You said we'd take it slow. This, all this Victoria and Volturi shit? Vampire viruses? That isn't taking it slow, Alice. Maybe we should just…Stop, completely," I whispered and Alice looked as if I'd slapped her, and not with a pitifully weak little human hand, but a full on Rosalie bitch slap.

"You said you were _with_ me, Bella," Alice implored, her voice strained and almost desperate, her ebony eyes shining with tears she couldn't shed. I closed my eyes against the sudden onslaught of pain that seemed to be striking at my heart and making my chest tighten.

This wasn't what I wanted. It had started out with my wet dreams coming true with a kiss from Alice Cullen and now all this madness in four or five days? I'm human, not a vampire. I can't take what they can.

If someone had told me that one day I'd be making out with Alice Cullen the vampire and then basically breaking up with her even though we kinda, sorta weren't officially together, I'd have laughed in their face while simultaneously flipping them the bird.

Good thing that never happened. I'm surprised it didn't, what with how Life likes to screw with me. Seems like the kind of thing it would do.

"I _am _with you. But maybe…Maybe I can't be _with_ you, with you. At least not yet. I just need a break, Alice! I've had less than a week to get used to all this and now this Victoria chick is popping in and I just…Please, just give me some time…Just give me some space, okay?" I squeaked out, almost unable to force the words to leave my mouth because I could pretty much guess exactly how much they would hurt Alice.

And it did. Alice winced as if I'd physically struck her again, this time taking a step back.

I could barely look at her, mouth gaping, trying to form words as she shook her head.

"It was just kissing. I didn't mean to. I was just trying to get my, _our_ mind off of everything. I'm sorry, Bella. Please," Alice whimpered, her hand coming to her chest where she began to lightly rub because I knew this had to be hurting so bad emotionally that it was causing her physical pain. How did I know that? Because this was hurting me so badly too…

"I can't. Not now. I'm not saying not _ever_, Alice…But right now...I just really, _really_ need to be alone."

This final response from me pretty much broke her. It tore me apart, to hurt her like that. I wasn't trying to hurt her, but we were rushing this too much for me to hang on. I was getting pushed into something huge and I just couldn't deal with it, with _her_ right now.

I felt like shit as Alice took a step back from me, her face wiped of all emotion in an instant.

I hated that. I _hated_ it. I didn't want her to pull in on herself, even though that was pretty much exactly what I was doing. I didn't want to break us even more than we were already breaking.

"Okay. I get it. It's fine, Bella. You need your space. We _both_ need our space right now. I'm still sorry. I'll take you home when you're ready and you won't have to worry about a thing. I'll handle this and you can pretend like none of this ever happened. Okay?" Alice spoke in a monotone, a tone that was clearly to me a mask for the pain I had just inflicted.

Apparently, I didn't get to break her heart and watch it at the same time.

Fuck. Fucking _A_, I hated what was happening. I cared so much for Alice but it was still just another indication of how everything was going too fast because I shouldn't have cared as much as I did right then, not in so little time.

"Alice-" I started, trying to tell her that pretending like this, like she had never happened was not what I wanted but she was already gone, the bathroom door slamming shut with a final, resounding bang.

* * *

Alice took me home about thirty minutes later after having a very long talk with Carlisle and Esme in his destroyed office. I had sat awkwardly between Jasper and Emmett while trying to pretend like Edward couldn't hear/see everything that had happened, including the kissing and groping I was replaying in my head like some masochistic film.

Charlie was not very happy about having been called about me cutting school but Alice convinced him that she'd taken me to her house because I'd gotten sick that morning. She managed to charm him into a polite conversation while I tried my best to fake sick next to her, all the while knowing she was trying not to let the pain show on her face.

She was a much better actor than I as Charlie watched me skeptically all the way up the stairs.

I heard a car door slam shut and then the sound of her yellow Mustang zooming out of our driveway and down the street.

And then I was treated to the sound of my window opening.

I squealed like a little girl as I watched the same girl who had apparently just sped away down the street climbing into my room.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, trying to stop my pounding heartbeat.

Alice's stoic, expressionless gaze met mine and I blushed slightly beneath it.

"Victoria may strike at you at any time and so Carlisle thinks it best that you have a bodyguard. I'm the only one that's hunted recently and therefore I am the only one available to watch over you. I apologize if my presence bothers you. I can stay outside if you wish," Alice murmured in that same damn monotone, eyebrow rising slightly as she moved back towards the window.

"Stop talking like that!" I whisper/yelled at her, irritated with this attempt to pretend like there had been nothing between us before. I'm not stupid and she's so _obvious_ about what she's doing. I couldn't stand it. I'd have rather had her huffing and being angry at me or something else along those lines than this.

I just wanted the old, happy Alice back…

"Talking like what?" Alice murmured again.

I scowled but didn't respond and she made towards the window once more.

"Stop it! Of course you can stay in here! I'm not going to make you sleep out in the cold," I snapped, searching for pajamas.

It's like she thinks I've suddenly turned heartless.

"I do not sleep or feel the cold. If my being here bothers you then it does not inconvenience me to go outside…"

"Would you just shut up and stop with this whole emotionless act? Please? I know this sucks, okay. I'm sorry about that but you acting all stony isn't going to help," I hissed, fed up with this stupidity.

Alice merely stopped talking and moved to stand in the corner of my room.

"As you wish," she murmured before placing herself in the rocking chair.

I rolled my eyes, exasperated and determined not to feel guilty as I went into the bathroom and changed. When I came back out, she had not moved a muscle and her eyes were glued to that same spot above my headboard.

I bit back my sarcastic retort about how Victoria wouldn't be coming through the wall (Who the fuck knows, anyway? Nothing else has made sense. She might pop through my wall, just to mix it up a bit…) and lay down in my bed, curling up under the covers to escape having to watch her unrelenting stare.

I determinedly closed my eyes but discovered that vampires aren't the only ones who have trouble falling asleep…


	10. New Friends

When I woke up the next morning, Alice was gone. My window was open, which probably explained why I was so cold. Inconsiderate, much?

I wasn't really in the mood to deal with the world at all. I didn't want to deal with an angry, moody group of vampires and I _certainly_ did not want to deal with Victoria.

But I had to, so I got dressed, ate breakfast and said goodbye to Charlie as I made my way to school. I pulled up in my rickety rust bucket of a truck and got out, dreading the inevitable awkwardness of having to see Alice and her family.

I really didn't know how to respond to them or act around them. I could see them across the parking lot, walking together into the school. I _know_ Alice saw me because she glanced at me once, gave no indication that she'd noticed me at all as she looked right through me and kept going.

Fuck.

I saw Emmett look apologetically at me as they floated in their vampire gait up the steps and disappeared from my sight.

Awesome. So obviously, I wasn't going to approach them. I had no idea what I was going to do then. Alice had adopted a Bella-no-longer-exists policy, and apparently her family had as well.

That stung, more so than I had expected it too. I had come here with no intention of trying to talk to them, I mean, how could I after what I'd had to say to Alice? It doesn't take much thought to understand how awkward and weird that would have gone.

Yet, I didn't know what Alice was thinking. Did this mean she was just going to pretend like nothing had ever happened, like _I _had never happened?

A sudden rush of anger overwhelmed me. Who did think she was, dropping all this off on me and then just acting like she'd done nothing at all? I know I had hurt her, but could she be a little less bitchy ex about it? I mean, come on. It's not like I wanted to semi-sort of break up with her. She was my first kiss, too. I still hadn't stopped replaying all the things that had happened between us, the things she had said, the way she'd touched me…

I huffed as I entered the school, puffing air on my hands as Winter in Forks was never kind.

My anger slowly dissipated though as I remembered this left me completely and utterly back at square one.

Ignored. Nonexistent. Companion-less.

But most of all, it left me totally alone.

I'm alone again.

That thought haunted me for the next four days, my chest aching with the pain of knowing I'd had something good beginning for me, only to have it pushed and knocked away from me by a series of unfortunate, insane and painful circumstances.

* * *

By the time the next week had rolled around, I was going crazy. I ached for Alice so much that it was literally physical pain, hovering inside my chest. I knew there was something bigger going on with it, probably that deep, mate connection that had yet to be explained to me. Yet, I knew it was also a longing for the interaction with other human beings that had been so long denied to me by ever torturous peers tormenting me for my sexuality, my different tastes in music and my general, antisocial loner-like qualities but had for awhile been allowed to me in the form of Alice Cullen and her family.

A part of me had been found and now, it was lost right in front of me.

Damn it.

Everything reminded me of her, especially my thoughts that had become exponentially more poetic and mysteriously riddle-like thanks to her brief influence, which of course, drove me even more insane as I tried to sort them out.

I felt pathetic and lonely. I constantly found myself looking over at them, memorizing each quick expression that crossed Alice's face as it was so rare for her to look anything but…expressionless. I knew I had something to do with it, as that mask she'd slid on was barely ever taken off. Whether it be a slight smile for something Jasper said to lighten her up or a quick glare for Rosalie, a narrowing of eyes for when she spoke with Edward, a light laugh for which I was so deeply grateful to Emmett for…

I loved them all, committed them to memory and hoped that one day she'd get _over_ herself and just…talk to me.

I'd said I needed space and she was certainly giving it to me. I didn't mean space in the form of I never want to speak to you again. I meant space in the form of I need to be left alone to think for awhile. Talk about overdoing it, not to mention overreacting, though I suppose I couldn't blame her for she'd apparently been waiting for me since I'd arrived in Forks a few years ago. She deliberately avoided eye contact with me despite how hard I tried to catch her eyes when we passed in the hallways. The only time I could ever catch her looking at me was in Biology.

Which leads us to the problem or…_not_ problem of Victoria.

Victoria had done nothing to attack, provoke or antagonize anyone of us so far as I knew. She did as she had said she would. She taught. I got the feel that it was more like the calm before the storm, the stalking of a predator before she attacked her prey.

Still, her very presence was driving Alice up the wall. Often Alice would sit trembling in her seat and glaring at Victoria with all her might. After a day or two, she managed to do it without growling so much that I could hear it across the room.

Yep, I was sitting by Mike again, much to his delight and my disgust.

Alice didn't seem to like the seating arrangements either and I know she didn't because she was constantly glancing at me, constantly tensing if Victoria walked too close to me. I know it made her burn, made her rage and want to explode in frustration that she couldn't be next to me, protecting me.

If it bothered her so damn much, she should have done something about it, not sat there torturing the both of us because of her stubborn attitude. She had not come by my room since the first night, and ever since then it had been Edward. After a day or two of him being there, the creepy apprehension dissolved and I was more open to him being there.

We talked. Not much, but it was something. I tried so hard on the third night for information on Alice but he was as stubborn as she was. He would talk to me about anyone but her and I'm pretty sure Alice put him up to it. Still, it was a comfort to be able to converse with someone so I could remember that it all wasn't some dream I'd concocted for myself.

He was kind and quiet, which I kind of liked as he sat in Alice's chair and calmly watched me do homework or spoke softly with me so we wouldn't alert Charlie who was oblivious. I enjoyed his presence.

Victoria had made no moves and Edward told me they weren't going to do anything until Carlisle had decided on a plan of action. He told me Carlisle was trying to get in touch with the Volturi but they were being difficult because some kind of ruckus was going on in their city.

Currently, I'm sitting at my lunch table, alone. Of course. I'm picking and prodding at my food and trying not to long to much for Alice.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair and wondering about whether or not I should approach her and tell her to just get over it already. I had said not now, not not ever.

That was most definitely not what I wanted.

"Hi, can we sit here?" A loud, high pitched voice said and I looked up to come face to face with…

Jessica Stanley.

O_kay_…

"Um…What?" I said, taken aback, confused and slightly weirded out as there were two Asian looking people with her and…Mike.

Fuck my life.

Nobody ever sits with me, more or less asks to sit with me. They just don't. It's pretty much tabooed. Sitting with Bella drops you to Bella's status and _nobody_ wants that.

"Can. We. Sit. With. You? Come on, I know the rumors aren't that accurate. I know you speak English, not some weird Welsh witch language. Or do you?" Jessica pronounced the first question very slowly and deliberately with a slight condescending attitude that made my eyes narrow ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry, please excuse my friend. She's a bit of a ditz, blond or not. I'm Angela and we'd like to know if we could sit with you?" The Asian girl asked, smirking slightly at Jessica's highly offended look before softening her eyes and looking at me.

"Yeah, Jessica's totally just PMSing because the school can't stop talking about her deliciously juicy sex scandal with the Cullens," The Asian boy snickered and Mike laughed as Angela rolled her eyes and Jessica squawked with indignity.

What the hell is going? I don't even know these people.

"What? Why would you want to sit with me? Nobody ever wants to sit with me," I protested as Jessica slapped the Asian boy's arm and glared furiously at Mike till he stopped snickering.

"You guys are so mean," she huffed.

"Well, I would have asked to sit with you your first day but Airhead here was all high and mighty. It's fine if you don't want us too. I'm sorry we bothered you. Come on, guys. Let's leave her alone," Angela said and began to turn away.

_Let's leave her alone._

Alone.

I didn't like alone, and regardless of how massively confused I was, I didn't want them to go.

Mike didn't want to go either.

"Aw, come on, Bella! We're just trying to be friendly. Don't mind Jessica, she's just rough with new people," Mike insisted and Angela sighed.

"Quit bugging her," she rolled her eyes, taking him by his elbow and beginning to drag him away as Jessica muttered, "So much for that."

"Wait!" I blurted as they began to leave. They all turned to me and I blushed slightly. "Y-you um…You guys can uh…Sit here if you want. I don't mind. I'm not good with strangers either," I mumbled, embarrassed now. They were all looking at me and I've never handled attention well.

I silently hoped they'd stay then quickly stopped as I realized how pathetic it was.

I'm not the desperate type, nor do I wish to look or feel it.

"Oh. Cool," Mike grinned, obviously pleased as they sat down and I tried not to wince. I did not want to lead him on.

"Well, my name is Eric Yorkie and I'm Angela's better-_worse_ half," he quickly corrected as Angela raised an eyebrow and then looked pleased as Angela smiled in satisfaction.

"How did you train him so well, Angie? I wish I could do that to boys," Jessica sighed wistfully. I was slightly relieved that she sat next to Mike and Angela sat next to me.

"It wasn't easy," Angela grinned, and Eric seemed unconcerned that they were talking about him like he was a dog.

"So, what's the deal with you and the shortest Cullen?" Mike asked suddenly, startling me enough to choke on my milk that I had just taken a sip of. I coughed and swallowed hard, blushing furiously at his forwardness.

"Mike," Angela scowled reproachfully.

"What?" He was clueless and Jessica rolled her eyes at him.

"Come on, you can't tell me you ladies aren't just as curious as to what's going on with them," Eric defended his buddy but shrank beneath Angela's piercing look.

I slowly began to understand something.

"Is that the only reason you guys came over here?" I muttered darkly, becoming very irritated with that thought. What was I to them, just another piece of gossip?

Not interested.

"No! Mike just has no idea with the word subtle means. He's sorry for asking and we won't pry, _will _we?" Angela growled which was a bit weird as the vibe I got from her was quiet and thoughtful. Apparently her friends agreed as the boys quickly looked nervous and slightly guilty. I assumed this show of force was rare from the girl.

"Oh, shut up. Whatever their little love scandal is can't compare to what they did to me," Jessica broke in, tossing her hair over her shoulder and pouting slightly, looking every bit the victim she was trying to play.

I didn't really like her already. Angela, I was feeling good about. But the others, I was still wary of.

"Would you get off the whole poor me boat, please? You know you wanted it," Eric said and Mike and Angela smiled slightly and I nearly did as well. You could clearly guess as to what Jessica did. She swelled up and opened her mouth but I interrupted her, trying to avoid the inevitable tirade she was about to go on.

"So what did happen with you two…three?" I said tentatively, still unsure in this new social situation. They were obviously a close group and I didn't want to intrude.

Wait, what the hell. This was my table and _they _came to _me_. I had every right to speak.

I was so sick of everything happening quickly to me. I'd seen how that went and was not eager to repeat it.

Jessica immediately latched on to the attention.

"It was awful," Jessica cried, dramatically closing her eyes and looking pained.

"Terrible," Eric rolled his eyes.

"Just dreadful," Angela mocked Jessica's voice.

"I was so scared," Mike mimicked her and Jessica's eyes narrowed. I could pretty much guess that she'd told them all this before. It sounded so rehearsed and I bit my lip to keep from smiling. They were amusing, if a bit overbearing. It reminded me sharply of Emmett and then Alice which wiped any smile that may have been building on my face away.

"You guys suck," Jessica huffed and they laughed.

"If I recall, you were the one sucking that day," Mike pointed out and Jessica nearly put _my_ blush to shame.

"How _does_ one suck with another girl?" Eric tilted his head and Mike opened his mouth to explain while I tried not to let my thought wander down _that_ particular path though I could think of a few ways…

"Shut up you two!" Jessica scowled and Angela gave them a reproving look. They smirked but went silent.

"Anyway, I was delivering some papers to the front office and I heard them talking. They were being loud so can you blame me for not being able to control hearing them?" Jessica went on.

"Which translates to Jessica totally eavesdropped," Angela put in and Jessica glared at her.

"Will you guys please stop being rude and let me tell Bella what happened?" she growled and they nodded.

"Go on then. We're all eager to hear some lesbian sex scandal stories," Mike said and Jessica's scowl deepened.

"They were in the Principal's office for what reason, I don't know. Probably for exactly what they did to me. They're always sleeping around," Jessica continued and I could see her friends preparing to point something out, probably about _Jessica_ sleeping around but the look on her face encouraged them not to.

A sudden bubble of annoyance hit me. Alice didn't sleep around. I didn't know about Rosalie, but my vampire surely didn't.

My vampire.

I really am beginning to think a lot like her.

I couldn't be irritated long though as a sudden realization hit me. Alice had said she'd only been with two girls.

Jessica…and Angela.

It was highly possible that the same Angela she'd been with was this Angela sitting next to me.

"They were actually talking about you, Bella. Just as I was about to hear what they were saying, they caught me. It was really weird, actually. It was like they just knew I was there. Anyways, that Rosalie…_woman_, made some pissy little remark about minding my business as if she wasn't being loud enough with her business in the first place," Jessica went on. It didn't surprise me that Rosalie was the one to start it.

"So we started arguing. That Alice girl joined in on it and then…They got this look on their face. Like a really scary, animalistic look. Especially the blond. They growled at me too, like a beast. It was terrifying. And then Rosalie kissed me."

I knew Jessica was being dramatic but I could kind of see where she was coming from. When arguing with the two, she'd probably set off some instinct and upset their vampire nature.

"Mm, the good part. Finally," Eric added and Angela slapped his arm.

"And then they did it. They…you know. It was so weird, though. They were so aggressive. It was practically rape, if you ask me," Jessica sighed, looking distraught and completely melodramatic.

"Nobody _did _ask you. And if I recall, weren't you the one that said it was the best _three_ orgasms you've ever had in your life?" Mike snorted and Eric started laughing as Jessica looked embarrassed and furious.

"Shut up!" she screeched and I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing. That did it for Angela as she started giggling next to me."You too, Angela! Don't forget that you had a thing with Alice Cullen too!"

I don't know why I conveniently take a sip of my milk every time they mention Alice, but I do. I choked again, nearly blowing it out my nose.

So I was right. I suddenly felt a lot less…comfortable with Angela.

Said girl was frowning now.

"That was different and you know it," she murmured, looking not angry but not happy with Jessica either. Jessica scowled.

"How was it different?"

"Because we didn't fuck and I'll kindly ask you to be quiet about it. You know that was deeper than any pity sex they gave you," Angela glowered and I shifted slightly. Immediately, the playful mood in the air turned darker and more personal. Jessica had clearly crossed a line. The curse word out of Angela's mouth didn't feel right to me. She didn't seem like the cussing type any more than Edward did.

"Oh…Angela, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Somehow, the thought that it wasn't just physical for Alice and Angela made my stomach turn violently. I tried not to let it get to me and simply tried not to think about it too much.

"It's fine. Let's just get off that subject," Angela grumbled and everyone immediately complied, switching the focus…

To me.

Okay, not what I wanted.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what is going on with you two?" Angela asked slowly and softly, obviously trying not to pry. I could see curiosity in her eyes and realized that I was subconsciously looking for jealousy or any indication that whatever went on with her and Alice no longer affected her.

I was relieved when I found nothing of the sort.

"Um…We just uh, kissed some…And kind of, had a thing? I don't know. It's complicated. _She's _complicated," I told them, hearing the truth in my words. Alice Cullen was the most complicated person on this planet at the moment.

"I can relate," Angela murmured.

And right then, a friendship formed as I glanced at her, our eyes connecting for a moment and sympathy radiating from her. It would be a lasting thing, I understood that. She put a comforting hand on my shoulder as the hurt that I'd be experiencing these past few days rushed back at me with a vengeance. I felt the hot press of tears at the backs of my eyes and wondered why this contact did not bother me but actually made me feel better.

I knew then if this whole thing of these people approaching me wasn't a lasting thing, Angela would be. She'd said she would have approached me the first day if not for Jessica. There are some people in life who you just know will be your friend and a good one too.

Angela was one of them.

"So…Why did you guys come over here if not because of the whole Alice thing?" I inquired. Regardless, I wanted to know why anyone would come to the biggest loser in school.

"Because you looked like you could use a friend. Actually, you always look like that. Besides, Jessica can no longer claim her reputation is in danger because she _has_ no reputation now that the Cullen girls have got to her," Eric explained and Jessica tensed.

"It wasn't…I didn't mean…People talk, okay? It wasn't anything personal, Bella," she swallowed, refusing to look at me while kicking Eric under the table.

I understood to a certain extent.

"Oh," I said.

So it was a pity thing.

Great.

"You've always been interesting. Besides Barbie here, we aren't really that superficial. I don't care what people say and neither do Eric and Mike. Do we?" Angela quickly said as my eyes became downcast.

"Nope. I have never had a reputation anyway," Eric agreed.

"I've always thought you were pretty cool," Mike almost whispered shyly.

Blech. I hoped he got over that whole crush thing soon.

"So basically, Jessica's the only reason we never came over here," Angela finished and gave me a slight grin as Jessica swelled again like a bullfrog.

"_Excuse_ me, I am not taking all the blame-!"

"Yes, you _are_. Because you _are _to blame," Angela pointed out and Jessica huffed but went quiet.

"It's fine. Really. I get it. I know what people say about me," I muttered, recalling all the insults I'd had to endure.

"We should tell you right now, we don't care about the whole gay thing. I mean, how can we? My girl has been with a girl. It's hot," Eric told me, stereotypical male excitement at girl on girl action showing through.

"And Jessica can't talk. I share Eric's sentiments. With guys, it just kind of weirds me out but as long as they don't hit on me, I don't mind. The whole lesbian thing is fine with us," Mike added.

"Angela here is heterogay too, so you don't have to worry about us judging you or anything. We're all fine with it," he continued and Angela raised an eyebrow.

"Heterogay?" I raised my eyebrow as well, confused.

"That means she's straight but shit happens," Eric explained and Angela rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Beevis and Butthead," she retorted but didn't defend against the accusation and Eric grinned, nudging her with his shoulder bringing a light smile to her face.

"Oh," was all I responded with.

So far, the loneliness if not the longing for Alice had faded. I wasn't sure where this would go, these people hanging with me but I didn't think I would mind their company. Beyond Jessica and Mike's slight creepiness, they were pretty cool.

The bell rang and we all stood up, preparing to leave.

"So, see you in Biology tomorrow, Bella? And Mike, you too?" Angela proposed, eyes lightly hopeful as we began throwing our trays away.

"Totally. And we'll all have lunch here from now on?" Mike agreed and I watched as they once again all turned to me.

I couldn't believe it. They actually _wanted_ me to say yes. They were all waiting for my answer as it was up to me on whether or not they came to sit with me again. They _wanted _to hang out with me again. Well, everyone but Jessica.

"I…" I didn't know what to say.

We weren't exactly friends, but it seemed like things were going that way. I'd never really had any legitimate friends besides Jacob Black and we hadn't talked in forever.

"Sure. Yeah. I'll see you guys tomorrow," I agreed slowly and their faces lit up. Jessica didn't look happy, but she wasn't overly upset about it.

"You'll see me in Math and Jessica in last period, though," Eric pointed out and grinned at me.

"_Cool_. Can we go before we're late?" Jessica hinted at her want to leave as people began spilling out of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, don't get your panties in a knot. Wouldn't want to excite the Cullen girls would you?" Mike snickered which caused Eric and him to laugh as we began moving towards the exit.

Their bickering and banter was lost on me, Jessica's high pitched indignant voice and Angela's quiet amusement not really getting through to me. I trailed behind them, dazed.

This was unusual to say the least. I couldn't help but be a little bit happy about this. The social interaction delighted me while also distracting me from the problem of Alice. Speaking of, I couldn't help but glance behind me as the Cullens always left the room last and it was habitual, the need to look back at her and make sure she was still there, still…Alice.

I was not expecting the amount of emotion covering her face, or the intensity of it. She was seething and Jasper was whispering furiously in her ear while Emmett had a restraining hand on her shoulder. They were still at their table and Alice looked to be in no shape to move at the moment. She was almost baring her fangs and she was glaring so furiously, so angrily at something, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

I turned back around, expecting to see Victoria somewhere in the vicinity but realized with a start that she was glaring two burning holes into…Angela's back.

I frowned and looked back at them, almost stopping in my confusion.

And then, almost automatically, our eyes met for the first time in days.

Ebony black met brown and I almost gasped as I recognized that look without a trace of doubt. It was written all over her face and while it made me moisten between my thighs, it also made my chest tighten with longing for her to come to me, to make me what she _wanted_ to make me again.

Her eyes, everything about her posture screamed _MINE_.

I blushed hard and her eyes lidded, while she turned and gave Rosalie a vicious look, telling her to back _off_ as Rosalie stepped in front of her, blocking us as she placed herself between our lines of sight.

I didn't understand why she reacted so furiously to Rosalie and not to her brothers.

Before I realized what was happening, Emmett and Edward were dragging her out the back door, snarling and kicking while Rosalie turned away, trembling. Jasper was at her side the whole time, constantly talking. The panicked, desperate, possesive and hungry look Alice threw at me as they forcefully pulled her away would haunt me for the rest of the day.

I took a step forward without meaning too, instinctively wanting to go to Alice. But Rosalie was by my side at an instant, grabbing me by my elbow and leading me out the door. Angela and the others had already disappeared down the hallway as had everyone else. I heard the late bell ring.

"Go. _Now_," Rosalie hissed and there was no room for protest in her tight voice. "Go to class. Don't freak out. Stop freaking out!" Rosalie snapped as I began to do just that.

"What happened? What's going on?" I babbled as she dragged me down the hall. My girl, my Alice was obviously upset and I wanted to know _why_, despite everything that had happened.

"Nothing. Go! You're going to be late," Rosalie snarled, giving me a shove.

"I don't give a shit if I'm late! Stop pushing me!" I cried, going to shove her back, fed up with her ordering me around. She'd been pissing me off from the start and I was tired of it.

This turned out to be a tactical error as not only did I nearly shove myself onto my ass, but Rosalie let loose a low, deep warning growl in the back of her throat. As if I'd flicked a switch, the already on edge blond slammed me into the lockers in a blur, making me wince and my head spin. Apparently, she was more upset than I had previously assumed.

I could feel her against me, her whole granite hard body pressing me against the lockers, pinning me there. I understood the mistake I'd made in an instant. I had tried to attack an already volatile vampire, Rosalie no less, and now I was paying the consequences. I was reminded of the day I'd pissed off her and Alice in the detention classroom, only this was much more terrifying.

"_Do. Not. Do. That_," Rosalie rumbled out, eyes boring into my own with ferocious rage. I trembled violently, suddenly very, very scared. Rosalie closed her eyes, baring her fangs as her face was right in mine. She had me by my shirt collar, her lips parted as she rumbled and shook with power that made every nerve scream for me to flee while she tried to regain control of herself.

"You are walking a very fine fucking line right now," Rosalie hissed, snapping her eyes open as she pushed into me harder. "_Do not provoke me_," she snarled and I suddenly understood what Jessica was talking about.

This was something deeper, something primal and instinctual. I understood exactly what instincts Jessica had invoked when she'd antagonized Rosalie.

Rosalie wanted to dominate. It was a desire to put me my place, to assert herself as the alpha female here. My resistance, my fear added to this. I suddenly realized that this was probably why Rosalie obeyed Esme, even feared her slightly.

Esme was the dominant female in the Cullen household.

Rosalie hadn't been able to stop herself with Jessica. Why would it be any different with me?

I was suddenly very aware that my protector, my Alice was not here to save me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and I felt it, that deep, sexual charge that always seemed to come with vampires. Rosalie wouldn't hurt me, not physically. She couldn't dominate me like she could Alice but she could…do it another way. Like…

Sex.

Talk about poking the angry tiger with a stick.

"Rosalie, please. Let go of me," I whimpered as I felt her beginning to rub against me, purring like a giant kitten. I shivered and it felt like a betrayal to Alice as my body began to react to her.

As she realized what she was doing, she snarled in my face nearly making me piss myself and flung herself away.

"Go to class. _NOW_!" Rosalie shouted, pointing down the hall as she covered her nose with her arm, eyes slitted and inky black.

I obeyed, trying not to run as these new events began whirling through my skull. Rosalie stayed where she was, arm across her face as she tried not to chase after me. I could see it in her eyes, her want to catch me and…

I shuddered. I got the hell _out_. I had no desire to go back and tear answers from her, not after that. Rosalie was no longer simply frustrating but an intimidating and very real scare for me.

I wondered what had stopped her, made her understand what she was doing. I came up with a lot of reasons, none that really fit…except for one.

Rosalie had remembered who I belonged to.

Rosalie had remembered Alice.


	11. Dodgeball

Dodgeball.

What is this, you might ask?

This is a game where you have to dodge balls, if the name wasn't indication enough. They couldn't even get a little creative or original with the name?

That's what she said jokes aside, it is not a fun game. It is a terrifying, painful and completely not fun game.

And exactly what we were playing in P.E two days later.

Awesome.

I'd sat with Angela and her group again the past two days and they turned out to be a pretty cool group. I was slowly being accepted into them and amazingly…had made friends with them.

So now, we're in the Physical Education class, probably my most hated one, awaiting the coach to pick team captains.

"Ah, let's see," the stereotypical butch looking woman muttered as she drew her eyes over the stupidly squealing to be picked kids throwing their hands in the air and generally looking like idiots. Angela and I both rolled our eyes as Mike and Eric both did it as well.

"How about a little sibling rivalry, eh? Alice and Rosalie Cullen," she said and I just about face palmed myself.

Of _course_, she's going to pick them. Picking two other students out of thirty besides the two I'd been having drama with lately would have been _just too easy_, right?

Fuck. Just fuck. That's all I have to say about that.

The two angels mentioned floated forward and then turned in front of us. We were all in the middle of the cavernous gym in one huddled together group.

"Rosalie, you got first pick," the coach said.

"Jeremy," Rosalie picked without hesitation. Jeremy was a lean, athletic boy and often favored by kids in gym. I was his total opposite, lanky and clumsy, avoided at all costs and picked last every time.

A bit embarrassing, yeah, but I didn't mind.

Alice took a little longer with her deliberation, slowly evaluating all of us and generally ignoring the fact that I existed. I avoided Rosalie like the plague. I had spoken to none of the Cullens after what had happened a couple of days ago and had no intention of trying to. This means it's been about a week or more since I've spoken to Alice.

And it sucks.

It utterly butt-fucking sucks.

I miss her, I crave her, I just want to be near her. I want to catch her eyes and not see raging turmoil or an emotionless mask but loving devotion and affection that had been ever so present a little while ago.

What ever happened to that pinkie promise, huh?

Victoria and reality happened, I suppose. Redheaded bitch.

I never really had a problem with redheads. Nope, was completely fine with them. Not until that flaming psychopathic vengeful vampire had decided to appear on the scene. So yeah, you can blame my redhead-racism on her.

This whole pretending like nothing happened wouldn't be able to fly much longer, especially now that Victoria was beginning to make a move.

It had been subtle, when she'd begun to do it. I had barely noticed it and blamed it on raging hormones. But as time in her class went on, it became more pronounced. Alice hadn't been there and I know there'd have been a problem if she had been but Victoria was releasing pheromones and directing them at one person.

I'll give you a hint.

Their name starts with B and ends with Ella.

Can't get any more obvious than that.

She had tortured me through the whole class, deliberately letting her violating and slick pheromones caress over me, driving me mad and as I'd left, she'd given me a little wink that made me want to punch her in her smug little nose, broken hand be damned. I'd been sopping wet and uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Yeah, we're gonna have to fix that particular problem. Alice had only returned today and Victoria had left me alone in Biology. I wasn't sure if Alice was aware of my predicament, but I had to find out sooner or later.

We all know it's gonna be sooner. It would be too kind to allow me some time to work on this.

"Terrence," Alice chose another of the more athletic boys in class.

They went back and forth picking and I very quickly caught on to something between Alice and Rosalie.

Several times I noticed Rosalie on the verge of picking me (Why? Who the fuck knows?) only to meet a very small, almost imperceptible narrowing of Alice's eyes. Rosalie's mouth would twitch slightly and I'm pretty sure that whole mouth thing is just them talking at vampire speed, Alice's lips would tighten slightly and Rosalie would pick someone else.

That being said, Alice refused to pick me either. I expected to get picked last. I did not expect to have them fight over who would end up picking me in the end.

We had reached the last two people, me and a band geek, Joey. Alice looked to be having an internal struggle as she glanced between us.

Pick me and that means she has to deal with saying my name and acknowledging my existence but also being able to protect me from flying rubber balls.

Don't pick me and she has to deal with Rosalie picking me, inviting a disturbance of her possessive instincts while also having to deal with people throwing flying rubber balls at me.

She stood there for a full twenty seconds before the coach got angry.

"Pick, Cullen! We don't have all day!" she yelled, causing Alice to scowl deeply.

I was sure she was going to pick me. She couldn't be that determined to ignore me, right?

"Joey," she muttered and Rosalie rolled her eyes in exasperation as I tried not to mirror her scowl.

You and your damn pride, Pixie.

I sighed and followed along with my team to the left side of the gym. Luckily Angela was on Rosalie's team as well. There were no other vampires in this class.

"Don't worry about it, Bells. She'll get over whatever her problem is sooner or later. Did you see the look on her face when you followed Rosalie? Hell, look at her now," Angela comforted me as we took our positions and the coach dumped a basket of large, red rubber balls out in the middle of the gym. We'd have to race for them in the beginning, or in my case, stay the hell _back_ and try not to be noticed.

I glanced up from my sulking and saw Alice, tight lipped and giving Rosalie a death glare. Rosalie was glaring back at her. Rosalie flipped her off very subtly and I could see it all over her face. This was Alice's fault, not Rosalie's and it was pissing Rosalie off that Alice was acting like she was.

Alice smirked though, actually _smirked_ at Rosalie. Her mouth twitched and I saw Rosalie sneer back at her.

The Cullen girls are known for being extremely competitive and despite everything going on around them, they weren't going to be able to suppress that completely.

Joy.

"On your mark, get set…"

I sighed and attempted to make myself as small as possible as the coach brought her whistle up to her mouth.

"Go!"

Twenty nine Juniors rushed forward, shouting and squealing as the madness began. The thirtieth one was busy hiding in a corner, desperately trying to avoid the red blurs flying back and forth across the gym. Each side was separated by a long black line. If you crossed the line, you were out.

"Come on, Bella! Quit being such a sissy!" Angela called, laughing as she nearly brained a boy but caught him in the shoulder instead.

"You're insane! How can you be enjoying this?" I cried, huddled in my corner as a ball slammed two inches above my head. I yelped and squeaked pathetically, running behind her for cover.

She only laughed some more and dodged around, perfectly at home in this athletic hellhole.

Angela was having _fun_. And people call _me_ a freak…

I busied myself watching Alice go to work. She was incredible, but I could tell she was toning it down for appearance's sake. She would pretend to have a close call, but she had no problem braining boys and girls every time she got her hands on a ball, which was frequent.

I had no problem watching her tight ass in those short gym shorts and toned thighs flex with each graceful twist and dodge. I always felt like a pervert, checking girls out and so I quickly avoided doing that, feeling dirty about it. I couldn't help it. Still, it was difficult. She _did_ have a great ass and does anyone else think life purposefully chose to fatefully incline her to pick a white shirt today just to mess with me?

Sigh.

Rosalie was pretty much ruthless, pelting Alice's team again and again, only rarely pretending to miss them with her vampire honed senses.

I noticed that Rosalie would get anyone out that threw a ball my way, and I was pretty sure it was to keep Alice calm. I noticed Alice's eyes continuously flicking towards me if a ball even came into my general vicinity and narrowing at anyone who threw it. Rosalie was always quick to give the person a ball to the gut.

"Get your ass up here, Bella!" Angela cried, laughing as she pulled me forward.

"No way! This is stupid! Let go of me!" I cried, digging in my heels but she was stronger than I had previously assumed and she easily tugged me to the front lines. The ranks for both teams had dwindled, horribly so for Alice's team as Rosalie was merciless.

It was me, Angela, Rosalie and two other kids on our team versus Alice, Eric and Terrence.

"Hey, baby! Please don't get mad when I get you out, okay?" Eric called, bouncing a ball up and down and grinning slightly.

Angela raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, baby?" she called back.

"Yeah?" Eric tilted his head.

Angela's ball caught him full in the stomach. He grunted as it slammed into him and went down on one knee as the coach called 'Out!'

"Shut up," Angela smirked, looking completely self satisfied.

I high fived her, covering my mouth to stop my laughter as he stumbled off the floor and into the bleachers with the rest of his jeering teammates.

A split second later, Angela was caught in the arm by a torpedo of a ball, spinning her slightly around. She yelped and winced as I looked up quickly, seeing a much more self satisfied smirk on Alice's face.

Jealousy isn't attractive…Unless you're Alice. And even then, it can bug the hell out of you. It was hot to a certain extent, but not when it hurt someone, especially someone I was quickly becoming friends with.

"She may be short but she's got an incredible arm. That's gonna bruise. Ah, well, have fun, Bella," Angela shook her head, cradling her arm and rolling it slightly as I scowled at Alice.

"Not cool," I mumbled, knowing she could hear me.

Alice frowned and bit her lip, looking away from me quickly. She looked guilty and slightly ashamed as she rightly should. We save that possessive stuff for the bedroom, sweetheart. Otherwise it'll quickly become a turn off.

The war resumed as Rosalie threw a hard ball at Terrence while he was distracted with his teammate throwing one at Angela.

It caught him in the chest, making him gasp and stumble backwards.

"Out!" the coach yelled.

"What? No way! That's not fair!" Terrence protested. The thing about Terrence is that he has a notorious temper on him. It was one of the reasons people avoided him sometimes. It was pretty vicious and he was kind of a bully.

"Out!" Coach repeated, pointing to the bleachers.

"No way! She fucking cheated!" He shouted back, fuming and gripping the ball tightly.

"Terrence! Office!" Coach yelled back furiously.

Terrence looked like he was going to explode and whirled around, glaring at Rosalie. Rosalie's eyes narrowed and Alice stiffened up for a brief moment.

"No!" she cried, taking a step forward but it was too late.

Terrence hurled the ball with all the ferocity he could muster at Rosalie's face and Rosalie, of course, easily side stepped it.

This wouldn't have been a problem, except for one tiny, itty bitty fact.

I was standing right behind her.

Lights _out_.

I was pretty sure I blacked out for a full five seconds as I fell on my back, cradling my throbbing forehead. I whimpered, struggling to sit up as Angela rushed over to me and helped me while Rosalie darted across the floor. Alice shoved Terrence so hard that he fell, screaming obscenities at him in several languages for some reason and Rosalie wrapped her arms around her waist.

I winced, head aching horribly as I watched my vampire look murderous as the coach blew her whistle angrily and hauled all three of them out of the gym, red with rage.

* * *

I had to go home with a mild concussion. Charlie was going to meet me there to make sure I was okay for the rest of the day. I drove home with an ice pack ridiculously strapped to my head, soothing the hot stabbing pain it was experiencing.

"Petulant little shit," I muttered darkly under my breath, wishing Rosalie had let Alice pile drive his face into the ground. I pulled into my drive way and gingerly got out, still a little woozy. They'd been reluctant to let me drive but I'd been fully willing to bitch and whine so the morbidly obese nurse would not end up driving me home and talking to me in her high pitched, overly fussy voice.

In the end, I got it my way for once.

I went inside and quickly retreated to my room, collapsing and holding my aching head in my palm.

Well.

That sucked.

It was pretty much all I could think of. I had heard about people going into seizures or something if they slept with a concussion, so I resolved to stay awake, not needing anymore stupid stress in my life.

I reclined against my pillows, resting against my headboard.

Alice. There was always Alice to think about.

I sighed deeply, wondering what had happened to her. I was pretty sure she'd get suspended as that was school policy for fighting. It made me feel a little bad as I was pretty much the only reason she'd shoved him in the first place.

I knew I was causing problems for the Cullens, especially Alice. They were causing me problems too, but I'm pretty sure I was causing them some worse ones. Alice has to deal with blood lust and heartbreak because of me, just because I can't get my shit together, not to mention she has to deal with Victoria.

Although, I have to deal with Victoria as well. That whole pheromone thing she pulled still needed to be addressed. Just another reason I needed to fix this.

I was upsetting Rosalie's temper over and over, which would in turn probably upset the entire Cullen household.

I felt stupid and selfish in that moment. I was not the only one suffering now. I'd taken the time I had said I needed and now…

Now I had to do something. I had to fix this mess because obviously a lot of it was my fault in the first place and shoving all of it on Alice was just not okay.

Now I was going to fix this. I wasn't sure how, but things couldn't keep going as they were. I needed to talk to Alice, needed to just be near Alice at least…

Because I did miss her too. My heart was aching for her as well, even if my feelings for her weren't completely certain to me. I cared deeply for her, but I wasn't sure how deeply. And I would _never _be sure if I didn't stop pussyfooting around and _do_ something about it.

Awkwardness, rudeness and just plain fear be damned, I was going to talk to Alice.

Today. No more waiting, no more excuses, just no.

I was going to fix this, somehow, someway.

And I was going to do it now.

I'd come to a decision. I glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that school was already out. My inner musing and self realization time had taken longer than I'd thought.

Charlie wasn't home just yet, which would make it easier to get out of the house.

Five minutes later, I was on the road to the Cullen household after doing a quick Google check on the address.

I reached the house in fifteen minutes or so. I pulled up slowly, wondering if they knew I was here already. I was very, very wary of approaching but I had already jumped into this and there was no way I was backing out now.

I breathed in deeply, psyching myself out for this as I opened my car door and got out. I walked up the steps and rang the doorbell, listening nervously to the pleasant wind chime sound it made, reminding me sharply of Alice's laughter.

No one answered.

Could it be that they knew who it was and were merely going to ignore me?

Well screw that. I wasn't in the mood to be ignored.

I pressed the doorbell once, twice, thrice…

Nothing.

I scowled, all set to bang on the door until I heard the noise.

It sounded like thunder and I quickly looked up, only to find the usual cloudy skies of Forks but no sign of a storm.

Confused, I looked around and then realized what else it could sound like.

Vampires wailing on each other.

I am perfectly aware, thank you, of how stupid it may have been to go looking for these vampires, but damn it, I was tired of waiting and I'd come here to get something done, and by God, I was going to get something done.

So I tentatively followed my hearing, traipsing around the back of the house (There was no way I was going through it, not without permission) and the noise got a little louder. I followed a well worn dirt path that was freshly marked with tire tracks. They weren't car tracks, but looked like motorcycle tracks.

I followed this path, anxious and envisioning several different painful scenarios that quite often ended with my death as to what might happen when I discovered the perpetrators of these rapid thunder crack noises. They steadily got louder and I steadily fought the urge to turn tail and run as I began nearing the end of the path ten minutes later.

Suddenly, I broke through the forest clearing into a huge, wide meadow and discovered the cause of the noise.

It was the Cullens and at first, they looked to be having an all out war with each other. After panicking, I realized they weren't really fighting, but more like lightly sparring.

It looked…like a training ground.

My eyes widened as I watched Rosalie and Emmett go at it, throwing punches and devastating looking kicks at each other, crashing into each other as they went all around the radius of this meadow. They seemed to be causing the noise. I saw Jasper and Edward dueling with _swords_ off in a more secluded spot, parrying and grinning at each other which further confirmed my idea that this wasn't for real.

And then I saw Alice.

She was bobbing and weaving, hands behind her back, twisting in the epitome of grace, swirling beneath Carlisle and Esme's strikes. They both rushed at her, swinging, kicking and swiping, but my pixie, my gorgeous amazing pixie gave them nothing but air.

She looked for all the world like a river dancer, always on her toes with her hands behind her back like that, bending forward at the waist to duck, prancing back with her eyes always closed. That's pretty much what it looked like. She looked like she was dancing, not dodging vicious blows from her parents.

Gravity seemed to have no effect on her as she leaped and rolled through the air, right over Carlisle, still with her eyes shut and her arms and hands behind her back. Always moving, always fluid…I wasn't breathing, so enthralled with her dance that I didn't remember too.

Carlisle and Esme, however, kicked it up a notch. They cornered her between them and Carlisle through a hard punch to her face and Esme ducked, sweeping her leg at Alice's with a strong kick. I thought they had her. I really, really did. Alice quickly punished me for that lack of faith.

Alice, even from here, only smiled and jumped straight up in the air as if gravity was not a factor and flipped over Carlisle's head…

To land on his shoulders, one foot on each, hands still clasped behind her back but eyes now open in triumph.

"Incredible!" Carlisle laughed, looking up at her as Esme offered her well deserved praise. "You're becoming extremely formidable. Tie in your visions, your amazing grace and your powerful kicks and Alice…Well, you'll be one force not even I would want to reckon with," Carlisle chuckled and Alice looked down at him, beaming with pride and joy at their approval.

I couldn't help it. I grinned too, so proud of how wonderful my girl was…

Well, I had to make her my girl again. Which is what I was here for in the first place. Yeah, that kind of slapped me in the face, breaking me out of my stupor. I blushed a little at how easily Alice could distract me.

Suddenly, all motion in the meadow stopped and each vampire tilted their noses windward, then looked at me. I froze, shrinking beneath their startled gazes. A startled vampire does not equal a safe vampire.

"Bella?" Esme called, some thirty feet away from me.

"Hey, Esme!" I called back and watched as Alice's eyes widened slightly.

She paused.

She then proceeded to take off, bolting in to the forest to her left.

Give me a fucking _break_!

Damn it all to hell! Come on!

I huffed, knowing exactly why she was running. She didn't want to face me or what had happened today or every other day and she knew exactly what I was here for. She didn't need her visions to tell her that.

Before I could convince myself not too, I took off after her, sprinting as hard as I could even as Esme called for me to come back. She was not going to run away from this. No way.

I knew the chances of me catching her were slim to none, but I just didn't consider stopping an option. I wanted to talk to Alice, I needed to talk to Alice and I was not going to let a little cold feet stop me.

Cold feet. How ironically appropriate.

I followed the path of destroyed brush and vegetation, probably made in her haste to get away. After a full minute of running, my lungs began to burn and my eyes watered but I kept going.

I had too, for Alice, for me…For us.

Just when I thought I was going to collapse, I broke through the brush into one of the most beautiful places I'd ever seen.

It was a waterfall cascading down the side of a huge mountain and I was at the bottom of it, watching it pour and roar down into a gorgeous pond kind of deal. It was clear and very pretty, surrounded by trees and a bank of rocks and slabs of granite.

I gasped, half out of astonishment and more than half out of breath.

I took a moment to catch my breath, wheezing and thinking about how badly out of shape I was and to take in this scenery. I know Alice was around here somewhere. The landscape was just too obvious of an escape.

"Alice! I know you're here! Come on! Don't be this way, please!" I called, looking around and even up at the grey sky above. You never know with vampires.

"Alice! Please! Please, just come talk to me, okay? Alice!"

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair and wincing at the throbbing that had returned with my mad dash through the forest.

I heard a rustling and my head jerked up. I scanned the trees above me, locating the rustling to be only a few feet above my head. My heart was pounding as I wondered vaguely if it was a bear come to eat me…

Stupid imagination.

I relaxed as I watched a petite pair of feet and a small, pale skinned girl appear out of the leaves and branches, walking along the one extending above my head and to my right slightly.

It was Alice, of course, easily keeping balance along the precariously sinking beneath her weight branch. If she was any heavier, it would have snapped. But as it was…

"Alice…" I breathed and she slowly looked down at me, golden eyes the picture of anxiety. She looked so forlorn, as if she expected the worst from this. It tugged on my heartstrings and made me want to wrap my arms around her.

"What are you doing up there? You're going to fall," I told her, knowing it wasn't true. I'd seen her abilities earlier. I just needed to express my worry for her in some way.

"Doubt it. I wouldn't have climbed up here if I knew I was going to fall," she replied in that soft, high voice I had missed so much. I closed my eyes, letting it slide over me like honey, rejoicing at the familiar sound of it.

"You never know," I muttered, eyes locking with hers, making my breath hitch. Butterscotch misery and longing made my chest ache deeply.

"I always know. Unless it's you. You are the one thing I never saw coming, Isabella Swan," Alice murmured, still standing straight backed above me and watching me through hesitant eyes as if she were not sure she should speak.

"Why is that?" I whispered, captivated by her beauty for a moment.

"I don't know," Alice whispered back then dropped suddenly, hands catching the branch at the last second so we were almost nose to nose, her toes scraping the ground. I didn't flinch, unable to after all that had happened. I just stared into her eyes and watched her hang there, arms stretched above her head.

"If you always know, then you knew we were eventually going to have to have this talk," I mumbled and she sighed softly.

"Yes," she didn't deny it.

"Then why did you run?" I asked, confused and frowning. The sky was getting darker as twilight approached and I could feel the oncoming sprinkle of rain.

"Because I'm a coward," Alice hissed before turning her face away and swallowing hard.

I didn't know what to say then, now that I had her here with me. She couldn't run anywhere else, but I suddenly had no idea what to say. The broken expression on her face encouraged me to reach out and softly cup her cheek, turning her to face me.

She flinched then closed her eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink at the feel of my touch before looking at me again.

"No. You're amazing, beautiful, sweet, a bit possessive but amazing nonetheless…" I told her, lightly drawing the pad of my thumb across her cheek. The motion was alien to me, but felt so right. I was still a virgin in terms of relationships, but this was working out just fine. Her skin was still so cool and refreshing as the rain began to fall in the blue-grey twilight.

"And you are so heartbroken…" I whispered, eyes filling with tears of regret and shame for all the hurt I had caused this quivering girl…vampire.

It wasn't the time for technicalities.

"You are so delusional if you think I am any of those things. I am not weak, and self pity has never been my thing. But it was hard, not to hurt when you said what you did. What are you doing here now, then? I thought you told me…" Alice murmured, leaning into my touch without realizing she was doing it.

"I said I needed time and space. I didn't expect you to pull away like that. But that was my mistake and I'm sorry, I am so, so sorry for treating you that way," I apologized, reveling in the feel of her silky smooth, firm skin beneath my fingertips. I couldn't believe she was even allowing me to touch her after all the things I'd said.

"I don't understand. What is it that you want? You can't jerk me around like this, Bella. I don't know what you want out of this and I just…" Alice broke off, frustrated and she tried to turn her face the other way but I caught her other cheek in my other hand. I cupped her face in my hands and gently turned her back to me, unsure of where my confidence came from.

"I…I'm confused too, okay? This whole mess is getting out of hand, but I can't go on like this. It hurt me too, did you know that? I've never missed anyone as much as I missed you in my whole life, and yet we barely know each other, barely even were together for a few days…" I confessed, holding her as the rain drenched us, the water droplets slipping down her porcelain skin, looking so much like the tear drops she looked like she should be crying…

She was so incredibly beautiful, a broken angel before me…And it tore at my heart, to know that _I_ was breaking her.

"So what does that tell you? Whatever connection we have, it goes deep, okay? Whether it's because we're mates or something more…I know that I need you, and I know you need me too…So this time, _I'm_ asking _you_ for a chance," I went on, my grip tightening as her eyes slowly began to fill with hope, a hope that made my heart sing in joy.

"I need the chance to see how deep this goes. I need the chance to be with you, for real this time. I need the chance to just…Fall in love with you, Alice. So please, it's all I'm asking for out of this. All I want out of this is _you_," I breathed out, my heart pounding.

Please don't say no. You can't say no. I won't survive if you do.

I watched her sweet, soft, pink, heart shaped lips tighten and her eyes shine in the approaching moonlight.

I tensed in preparation for rejection, wondering if I'd just made an ass out of myself, if my desperate hope that this would all turn out okay was just a fairy tale, the real fairy tale in all this insanity.

But then she spoke.

"Okay. But I need to let you know, I'm not used to taking chances. I see everything coming, you know? So…So this time, we're both going in blind, okay? I don't know what's coming for the first time in my life, and it scares me…It really, really scares me, Bella," Alice choked out and I felt my heart soar.

She was giving me a chance.

I would not blow it, hell no. Not this time. I couldn't break her heart again. It would kill us both.

"That's okay. As long as we're going in together, then I don't care if we're going in blind. As long as it's me and you, Alice, I'd take on the world. You're beginning to mean that much to me. Hell, I'd even take on Rosalie," I chuckled and she let out a watery laugh, both of us smiling weakly in the rain as I held her face in my hands. It was a bad joke, as all my jokes were, but it was needed as the tension became suffocating.

"Promise me. I promised you. I need you to promise me that you aren't just going to change your mind again. I won't be able to take it if you do," Alice whispered, eyes beseeching mine for any hint of dishonesty or hesitance, but she found none.

"I promise you, Alice. I promise you. I promise, I swear, Scout's Honor, by the powers that be, _God_, I just _promise to you_ that I mean this, all of this. Now you just have to let me prove it to you," I swore, and her eyes shone with joy that I'm sure reflected mine.

The ache, the horrible heartache that had overwhelmed me for the past week or so was fading, the hole in my chest filled by Alice.

Though I may not have realized it that night, I'm pretty sure that was the night that I fell in love with Mary Alice Brandon, and it was sealed with a slow, soft kiss that was sweet and tender and full of promise in the moonlight that was glowing across her shimmering skin. Kissing Alice beats dodge ball any day...

Wait.

Shimmering skin.

What the hell.

"Alice…" I breathed as I pulled back and she dreamily released the branch above her head, grinning widely.

"Yes, Bella?" she cooed, looking so utterly happy that I lost my train of thought for a moment.

"What is happening to your skin?" I gasped, pointing to it.

Her eyes widened and she glanced at herself.

It looked like the moonlight had turned into liquid waves, lapping over her creamy skin, licking at her gently. It seemed to be alive, moving as it was. But it wasn't gross or weird as you might think, but…gorgeous. Shimmering and sliding with a snowy glow, she looked so beautiful in the rain that literally washed over her. It was like when a day is unbearably hot and the air in front of you seems to wave and distort; only it was her skin doing it. She was almost blurry, but sharp and defined in her vampire way. The contrast was amazing and looked incredible.

"It's a vampire thing," she chuckled at my bewildered expression. "Why? Does it bother you?" she added a bit nervously.

"No…It's beautiful. You're beautiful," I whispered, awestruck by her.

"So are you," she grinned back shyly and then leaned forward, tilting her head up ever so slightly as she brushed her lips across mine. The kiss was chaste but made my heart flutter and those dragons return full force, roaring happily at the return of Alice.

"We should get back. You still have a concussion and you're going to be sick if you stay out here like this," Alice said, taking my hand and tugging me towards the destroyed path she'd made. I honestly didn't care if I got sick, as long as I got to stay with Alice.

"So, do all of you guys do that shimmering thing?" I tilted my head as we began walking.

"Yes."

"Hmm. It's a good thing you guys don't sparkle in the sunlight or anything. That would have been too gay, especially for the boys."


	12. Catching a Cold

Esme was not happy with Alice when we reached her house.

"Mary Alice Brandon! I expect better from you! Look at the poor girl! She's shaking right out of her skin!" Esme scolded, bundling me up in her arms. She was right though. I was soaked and dripping. I was shaking like mad with cold and Alice bit her lip.

"I know. I forgot it was going to rain," she said, following behind her mother who had taken it upon herself to drag me up the stairs.

"Oh, Bella dear. I'll make you some hot chocolate but I must insist that you take a hot shower. Carlisle should be home soon and he'll take a look at that bump of yours. A concussion and out in the rain and cold! Alice…!" Esme went on relentlessly, reprimanding her daughter as I awkwardly allowed the fussy woman to lead me down the hall.

I don't know how I keep managing to get Alice in trouble with her parents, but I should probably work on that. I mouthed 'Sorry!' at her but she mouthed back, 'My fault,' and gave me an apologetic look as I trembled in Esme's arms.

"You can use Alice's shower. I'm sure she won't mind," Esme offered, giving Alice a pointed look as we reached said pixie's room.

"Of course not! It's not like I meant for us to get caught out in the rain!" Alice protested but Esme only scoffed as I sneezed and gave me a little push into Alice's bathroom. I really, really hoped I wouldn't get sick.

"Now, sweetheart, you take as long as you want and get nice and warm while I go make you some hot chocolate," Esme mothered me and I felt a sharp pang of longing for my own mother, Renee. It had been so long since I'd seen her.

I nodded, a bit overwhelmed by the motherly woman as she lightly kissed my forehead, making me blush and shut the door behind her. I tried not to laugh as I heard her going off on Alice and Alice's weak protests.

Esme really was…something. I liked her a lot and she always made me feel welcomed and like family. She was a bit pushy and a little overbearing, but so was everyone else but Charlie in my life.

Charlie.

"Shit!" I hissed, shoving my hand into my pocket to grab my phone that was thankfully relatively dry, if a bit damp.

Fifteen missed calls and twenty texts. All from my panicking father.

I am so stupid!

I quickly dialed his number, shivering violently and wriggling with impatience.

"Hello? Bella? Is that you?" Charlie's panicked voice came over the phone and I winced. He sounded really upset. I couldn't blame him. His daughter with a concussion had apparently never showed up home and hadn't answered any of his calls. For all he knew, I could be lying in a ditch with my car on top of my somewhere.

"Dad! Dad, it's me. I'm okay!" I quickly answered lest he explode.

"Oh my God, Bella! Thank Lord you're okay! Where have you been, young lady? I've got a whole search party out for you right now! Where the hell are you?" Charlie bellowed and even though he sounded pissed, especially since he never cursed, I could tell I'd been worrying him really bad. A punch of guilt hit me in the stomach.

He had a freaking search party out for me.

I am officially the worst daughter on earth.

"I'm at my friend's house, the one that took me home the other day. I'm so sorry, Dad. I just lost track of time!"

"Lost track of-BELLA SWAN!"

Insert terrified fatherly tirade…here.

I flinched and even if I couldn't see him, hearing him was enough to make me squirm, utterly chastised by him.

Parents.

Jesus.

I held the phone slightly away from my ear as he went on for two minutes straight.

"Dad, Dad! I'm sorry! Please! I'm okay! I just needed a friend and Alice came and got me! I just forgot! I'm sorry!" I apologized desperately.

"Isabella, I have never been so scared in my life. I thought…I thought you were dead, sweetie. I don't mean to yell so much but do you have any idea how worried I was?" Charlie sighed into the phone, sounding more like his old, awkward self.

I felt like shit and not just because of the biting cold eating away at any semblance of warmth left within me.

"No, I deserve to be yelled at. I didn't mean too, Daddy. I'm sorry. But I'm fine, okay? I just forgot is all," I mumbled back, both of us reverting to our usual quiet and weird selves as he calmed down. I know it was totally unfair to pull the Daddy card but I couldn't help it. Charlie had rarely ever been so loud or upset with me and I just now remembered how much it sucked when he was.

I felt awful and like a spanked puppy. I did deserve it though. Charlie didn't ask for much, only to know that I was safe and happy. It was wrong of me to do that to him.

"Bells, as long as you're alright….Just don't do things like that, okay? How…How's your head?" Charlie mumbled back and I sighed. As long as he wasn't yelling, I was pretty much forgiven. I didn't do stuff like this ever, which is probably the only reason I escaped punishment.

"It…hurts, but Alice's father, Carlisle Cullen is a doctor. Her mom said he'd look at it when he got home. Dad, I know this is kind of a bad time to ask, but do you mind if I spend the night here? I don't think Alice's mom is going to let me leave the house…Especially since I was just out in the rain."

It was really hard to say that and I winced immediately afterward, still soaked to the bone and shaking as I leaned against the door, my head throbbing.

"Out in the-BELLA!" Charlie cried.

I expected as much but he didn't go on another tirade which I didn't expect. I suppose I'd worn him out.

"Bella…What am I going to do with you?" Charlie sighed and I could imagine him running a hand through his hair. "You're going to have a lot of apologizing to do, young lady. All the folks out here searching for you, well they aren't happy that you were just at a friend's house. But…I don't want to put any more stress on you tonight, especially with that concussion. As long as Alice's parents don't mind then I guess…"

_He_ doesn't want to put any more stress on _me_?

Oh, Charlie.

"I'll ask now," I said and merely a split second later Alice's angelic voice floated through the door.

"Esme says you aren't leaving this house even if she has to chain you down. Oh, and she says to get your butt in the shower before she _makes_ you. She didn't say butt though, but she didn't want me to tell you that," Alice called and I bit my lip to keep from giggling. It didn't surprise me that she was right outside the door, probably wondering why I wasn't in the shower yet and probably eavesdropping. Or maybe she saw me asking to stay the night in a vision and was just waiting to tell me yes.

Either way, her answer was cute and made me smile, if only briefly as I replied to Charlie.

"It's fine with them, Dad. I really am sorry I worried you," I told him, meaning it.

"It's alright, Bella. Just don't do things like this, okay? Just call me or something next time. You uh…You be good now, okay? I love you," Charlie muttered and I let out a soft smile. Charlie didn't say that often even if I knew how much he did care about me. He had always been a man of few words so the words he did say meant a lot.

"Okay, Daddy. I love you, too," I murmured back and then we hung up.

I decided it was probably in me and my butt's best interest to get in the shower before Esme came back up here.

Besides, I was colder than a snowman's balls right then.

...Weirdest and most disgusting image I've ever given myself.

I shook that particular thought off and quickly began undressing as I turned the shower on hot, trembling the whole time. When I stepped in, I almost moaned at the feel of the heated water nearly scalding my frozen flesh. I wondered if this was what it was like for vampires to take showers.

It felt great and I let my head fall forward, exposing the taut muscles of my shoulders to the soothing spray. I just realized how exhausted I was and the heat made my head swim. I relaxed for the first time in a long time, my thoughts running over everything that had happened. These peaceful moments were becoming more and more rare so I took full advantage of it, allowing my aching head to gently sort itself out.

Of course, my mind went straight to Alice. She was pretty much all I thought of lately.

I…was happy, moderately. The fact that we were talking, the fact that we were actually back together made me grin to myself. And yet...

I was a little worried. Last time things had been pushed even if Alice had said we'd take it slow. She and I had both been overwhelmed, trying to dive in headfirst like that. Besides, her vampire side had some problems with slow, if you know what I mean.

I wasn't ready to go all the way. I had thought I was, but I wasn't. I was your average, every day hormonal teenager, but cliché as it was, I cherished my virginity. I certainly didn't want my first time to be in a hospital bathroom in an effort to escape reality with a distraught and frustrated vampire. I wanted to be able to remember my first time and _like_ remembering it. It bothered me a little, that Alice could do something like that.

Beyond the sexual part of our relationship (the fact that I even had a semi-sexual relationship going on shocked me) our emotional relationship couldn't be rushed either.

I knew Alice loved me, deeply as well. Very, very deeply. But I didn't think I was ready to say I love you back. I didn't even know what love felt like. This was my first legitimate relationship. In fact, if I stepped back and looked at Alice, I would realize I barely knew a thing about her.

Things about Alice that I know:

She's a vampire.

That's a big one, sure, but I can still only count it as one thing, technically.

She likes the color blue.

She has great taste in music.

She can draw.

She's incredibly sexy and an amazing kisser.

That one doesn't really count, because everyone knows how sexy Alice Cullen, or rather, Mary Alice Brandon is. I still don't get that whole name thing, just another thing I don't know about her. Besides that, it's not like I have anyone to compare her kissing too. Something just tells me she is, though. She's amazing at everything else, so why wouldn't she be amazing at that?

So basically, I can count all the things I know about Alice on one hand.

Rushing things will never work, and so I come to this conclusion.

Alice and I need to talk.

Again.

I had no intentions of letting what happened in the bathroom at the hospital reoccur and I had no intention of letting either of us screw up the emotional side by being, well, just plain stupid about things.

I guess what they say about relationships is true, communication really is the key here. Only, staring into her beautiful golden eyes can really distract a person.

I can't count on _two_ hands the amount of times I've been dumbstruck by Alice's beauty. She is so gorgeous and I'm pretty sure even if she wasn't a vampire she would still be amazingly cute. Her whole cocky confidence is a turn on, too. With other people it's annoying, but she just pulls it off in her own suave way.

Hormones can really be a bitch sometimes.

It was probably a mistake to begin thinking about her looks as I shifted slightly, my thoughts managing to go to a darker side. I growled and shook that off, feeling like a pervert again, thinking about her that way.

But wait, it's not like she hasn't thought about me that way before. How the hell can I be the pervert here with what she's done?

Not that I mind…

I immediately remembered when she'd jumped me as I tried to get out of her car that day I'd discovered all of this madness. I whimpered in frustration as I recalled how great her pheromones had felt, how right. I was slick almost instantly and not from the shower water.

Bella's reflection time has taken a drastic turn, ladies and gentlemen, and there is abso-fucking-lutely nothing she can do about it.

There was nothing to compare to the feel of Alice pinning me to the ground and plunging her tongue hungrily into my mouth, and absolutely no way in the whole damn universe to compare to the feel of her cupping me in her palm, growling her possession of me.

I made a little humming noise and tried to distract myself by beginning to wash my body.

Slippery soap coating me and caressing myself.

Now why the hell did I think that would help?

Needless to say, it wasn't hard for me to follow Esme's instructions to take a long shower. And yes, I did warm myself up. Very, _very_ well.

You can thank Alice for that…

* * *

I was a pretty happy camper as I got out of the shower twenty minutes later, relaxed and a bit sleepy. The stupid post-orgasmic smile wouldn't leave my face, but I figured no one would know the reason for it.

I'd steamed up all the walls and the mirror. Alice's bathroom wasn't tiny, but it wasn't huge. Her shower was light blue tiled, the ceiling and floor white. Her sink was white porcelain and very elegant. I remembered the first time I'd been to her house and realized that it wasn't all coffins and moats.

Humans really had no idea what vampires were really like.

Okay, well, we had some idea. We got the blood thing down, but apparently they weren't just mythic phenomena but…medical conundrums. That's what Carlisle said. I'll have to ask him more about that. My curiosity really was piqued on that whole…Vampriosia deal, I think he called it.

I dried myself off with a fluffy white towel that had been laying on a shelf next to the sink. It felt great on my skin and only furthered my good mood. All in all, the day had started off bad but become pretty good, minus the whole concussion and rain deal.

I wondered what I was going to do about getting dressed. My sopping wet clothes were in a pile on the floor. There was no way I could wear them now. A soft knock on the door made me jump a little.

"Bella? Um, I have c-clothes for you. I'll um, uh, l-leave my room so you can c-change comfortably," Alice's melodic voice flowed to me with perfect timing and I tilted my head.

She had _never_ stuttered that much and her voice was extremely strained.

"Are you okay?" I called back, a little worried.

"FINE!" she squeaked her voice a higher pitch than normal…well, higher than normal for her.

I frowned and heard her door slam a moment later. I worried that I'd done something but tried not to let it dampen my mood. It was so rare for me to be so upbeat and I didn't want to end up spoiling it over nothing.

I came out and not metaphorically this time, stepping into Alice's bedroom. It looked the same as before, if a bit neater. The sketchpads were in a clean pile by her bedside and the clothes were all picked up. I spotted a pile of neatly folded clothing on her bed and made my way towards it.

They were…small. Like…Alice small. There was a soft, cotton black t-shirt, and underwear that looked brand new. I don't think I could have handled wearing Alice's underwear. Not with these teenage hormones. I'll bet any money she couldn't have handled that either. Those same instincts that prevented us sharing underwear which was kind of weird in hindsight were probably the same ones that prevented her from getting clothes that would actually fit me better, like Esme's or…

Rosalie's.

Yeah, let's not go there.

I think the reason a lot of people get horny looking at their partner wearing their clothes is because it's a sign of ownership. If I wear Alice's clothes, it somehow makes me more hers. I didn't really mind, but if we were gonna play that game, I think it should have been the opposite way. They just looked way too tiny for me and Alice could easily fit into my clothes.

A pair of matching cotton black shorts completed the ridiculous in my opinion outfit. It's not like I could complain or anything. I wasn't about to intrude on her hospitality anymore than I already had. I was using her shower and spending the night almost without asking first. Besides, they looked comfortable enough, if a bit small.

Turns out, the shirt was kind of stretchy, but still barely covered my stomach and if I stretched, it exposed all of my stomach.

So I guess I just won't stretch then.

The shorts stopped mid-thigh, a bit too revealing for my tastes but hey, what could I do?

The clothes were comfortable but I slipped the rubber band around my wrist off to tie my hair back in a ponytail to keep from dampening the back of the shirt, which I hate. Then I went downstairs, intent on nabbing that hot chocolate I'd been promised and speaking to Alice.

I'm a chocolate freak. Sue me.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and padded towards the kitchen, finding Esme humming softly to herself as she murmured a song. Her voice was sweet and beautiful and the lyrics struck a chord in my heart.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours first, let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse. Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words…"

I didn't have the heart to interrupt her as the song captivated me for a moment.

"We live on front porches and swing life away; we get by just fine here on minimum wage. If love is a labor I'll slave till the end, I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand…Oh, Bella!"

Ah, but vampires cannot be unaware of someone's presence for long. She spun around, holding a maroon colored mug with a dark, murky brown liquid that smelled delicious.

Mm, hot chocolate…

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you," I apologized, blushing and shifting slightly beneath her gaze.

"Ha! As if you could," Esme winked, walking forward to wrap me in a warm, or rather cool, hug. Warm in the sense that it was affectionate and gentle and cool in the sense of her skin.

She stiffened up for a second and then stepped back quickly. I again had to wonder if I'd done something wrong.

"Ah, no wonder Alice went to hunt. I must say though, her control is becoming quite superb. That practice is really working well," Esme sighed, then smiled widely and held out the mug of delightfully aromatic hot chocolate out to me.

"Careful, it's pretty hot," she warned as I wrapped my fingers around the mug, feeling its soothing heat.

"She…went out to hunt?" I said slowly, opting not to look like a dumbass and burn my tongue on the obviously near-boiling drink. "Jeez, Esme. You weren't literally supposed to boil the milk," I laughed, watching as a tentative bubble of heat popped on the surface of it.

"Forgive me; we never have needed to cook. I wasn't quite sure how hot to make hot chocolate. Obviously that was too hot. I could redo it if you wish?" she replied, moving to retake the mug.

"No, no! I wasn't saying it was bad. I didn't mean to insult your hot chocolate skills or anything!" I blushed, feeling rude and inconsiderate and like a total idiot.

"It's quite alright. Anyways, yes, Alice has gone out to hunt. I can't say I blame her," Esme shrugged, leaning against the table in front of me as I leaned against the counter and let the drink cool, impatient to taste its chocolatey goodness.

"Why did Alice have to go hunt so badly?" I asked.

"Your afterglow hasn't quite worn off and it was exciting her. You _do_ smell nice. She's trying so hard to be strong enough for you," Esme said quite naturally and I blushed the reddest I've ever gone.

"W-what a-a-are you, I d-don't-" I spluttered, embarrassed at the fact that I'd been caught rubbing one out and by my girlfriend's _mother_.

I wasn't _that_ loud, was I?

"Bella, relax! Don't be so embarrassed. Masturbation is very normal for everyone. Alice was merely aroused by the scent of your arousal and bothered by your satisfaction that she didn't give you so she went hunting to take the edge off her instincts," Esme chuckled and I turned beet red.

So. Fucking. Awkward.

I swallowed hard and avoided looking at the oblivious to my shame woman's eyes. I'd gotten so excited that Alice had probably _smelled_ me with her vampire senses.

Oops.

Oh my God, Esme thought I smelled _nice_.

So weird.

Never in my life had I wanted to shrivel up and disappear that badly so I desperately tried to change the topic. Still, in the world of vampires, one must learn to roll with the punches and so that's what I tried to do, instead of squeal and run back up the stairs to hide under Alice's covers.

I paused, hesitant to ask the question burning on the tip of my tongue as my hot blush faded slowly and I tried to forget that particularly mortifying scene. But, Esme's words lingered on my mind. Alice had been practicing, I believe, on her control…She was trying to be good enough for me.

"When you say…hunt…" I started, wary of addressing this particular vampire quality. I still didn't want to think about Alice chomping on some person's neck, black eyed and chin covered in blood…

The Cullens didn't strike me as bloodthirsty fiends or anything but yet…It changed my entire perspective of the pixie if I thought about her like a murderer.

"Oh! I forgot, no one told you. We don't feed on humans, Bella. Don't worry about that," Esme quickly reassured me, noticing the slightly horrified look on my face.

"Then what…?"

"We are not the crueler or more sadistic of our species, Bella. We take no pleasure in taking the life of any creature, human or animal. There is just something more…personal, closer to home about killing a human. It's…disturbing, to watch the light leave their eyes, to know that they know what's going on. That's not to say animals don't know, they do. They desire death as much as a human would. I suppose it's easier to feed on them because they expect death more-so than the protected life most humans lead. Death is a constant threat for them, so I suppose it lessens the blow somewhat…" Esme babbled, a faraway look coming to her eyes.

"Oh," I mumbled, unsure how to process this new information.

"Ah, but it's still painful to do. Call us tortured souls if you will. Alice in particular despises the slaughter of an innocent animal. You should see her in the aftermath…She always looks so sad. She buries her kill, did you know that?" Esme murmured, eyes slowly catching mine, honey gold.

"No. We never really talked about this stuff," I told her, blowing softly on my drink to speed its cooling process. I turned this idea over in my head.

So the Cullens weren't murderers…They didn't even want to kill. They apparently despised it. I couldn't help the relief that descended on me. They weren't murderers. And Alice, my pixie had to live with killing innocent creatures every day, just to survive.

It sounded awful, and I felt a strain of sympathy for her.

"Have you and Alice really even talk-talked about anything?" Esme inquired, tilting her head and giving me an inquisitive look.

"Sort of. I don't feel like I really know her though. I don't actually know anything about her beyond the whole vampire thing and that she's apparently deeply in love with me," I replied and Esme gave me a kind smile.

"Alice is a very complex person, more than you realize, Bella. She is sweet and childish one moment, then serious and confident the next. She is courageous, yet terrified. She is vulnerable, but powerful. She loves to make other people happy, no matter the cost to her. It is a fault at times and others…A truly wonderful quality," Esme spoke softly as we conversed about her daughter for all intensive purposes.

I could understand where she was coming from. There were sides to Alice I hadn't even seen, sides I was afraid of seeing yet so desperate to discover, if only to learn more about the mysterious girl.

"Alice can be quiet, she can be loud, she can be sweet and she can be the most vicious thing alive if provoked. Underestimating her is a mistake, and judging her without knowing her an even bigger one. Just when you think you have her figured out, you both learn something about her that you never knew…" Esme murmured.

"I guess I really don't know her at all," I responded meekly, eyes falling to the swirling chocolate mixture in the mug. I'm sure it reflected the swirling of my own brown eyes, my longing to know Alice more than I did.

"Don't look so upset, Bella. Knowing someone comes with time, and you two had very little, very volatile time together. Alice wants to know you too. Very much. I truly believe if there was never a mate connection between you two, you'd have fallen in love with each other, regardless. You two are simply drawn together."

I blushed at that, unsure how to reply. Was what Esme was saying true? Did we really attract like that in the eyes of others? If I took a step back and looked at Alice and I from another person's point of view, would I see that attraction?

But I didn't have to do that…I could _feel _that attraction. There was something undeniably powerful about Alice that drew me in, and apparently something about me that drew her in as well.

And I found myself liking it, despite the scarier implications, loving it for the more lovely implications of this attraction…

"You really should get to know her, Bella. Her past mistakes are not ones that you should judge her on. Though religion really isn't my thing, St. Paul once said, 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it is not inflated, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres,'" Esme quoted and I allowed that to sink in.

It made sense to me and the quote was beautiful. My thoughts were once again whirling as I tried to process all of it.

I really, really needed to talk to Alice, now more than ever…

"That's a beautiful quote. By the way, what were you singing earlier? It sounded really good," I asked, slowly sipping the still searing hot chocolate. I quickly stopped, almost burning my lips.

"Oh? That was a song called _Swing Life Away_by one of the few modern bands I enjoy, Rise Against. It's an amazing song. You should listen to it sometime. Hmm? I think Alice is back now though," Esme replied, tilting her head to hear something I had no hopes of catching until I heard the front door slam.

"Yes, and in much better spirits. I believe she's better now. Go on, off with you. You two have a lot of talking to do, I'm sure. I'll call for you when Carlisle gets here," Esme grinned, shooing me and I smiled back.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate. It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Cullen and I'll definitely keep what you said in mind," I called as I padded out of the kitchen.

"Call me Esme!" was all she said as I spotted Alice floating towards me. We reached each other at the stairs, meeting halfway.

"Isabella," she greeted slowly, grinning happily at me, eyes butterscotch smooth. I decided not to bring up the reason she'd gone to hunt unless she brought it up.

I prayed she wouldn't.

"You're the only person that can call me that and it not bother me," I told her and her grin broadened. Her sweet, high voice made the name that usually sounded too beautifully inappropriate for me sound like it could actually fit me.

"Guess that makes me special, huh?" Alice smirked, looking more like her cocky old self.

"You are. Very special," I agreed and she chuckled. She was though, especially to me…

"Stupid special or the good special?" she prodded and I rolled my eyes.

"The good special, obviously," I grinned.

"Oh, really? I think you're pretty special too, Bella," she replied and I smiled.

"The stupid special or the good special?" I retorted playfully.

"Hmm…I'd have to say a little bit of both," she said then wrinkled her nose adorably in amusement at my scandalized scoff and look.

"You're a jerk," I huffed and without meaning to, pouted which only made her laugh and kiss my cheek gently.

"I know," she responded like New Boyz as I blushed at the affectionate gesture.

"God, that joke is so old," I mumbled back and resisted the urge to touch my tingling cheek.

"So? You're just too cute when you pout though, I couldn't resist it," Alice giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"I am not cute."

"Are too."

"I am _not_."

"I disagree."

"I don't _do_ cute."

"Apparently, you do."

"If anyone's cute here, it's you."

"You know, unlike certain odd people, I don't find that to be insulting," Alice laughed and I huffed again as she verbally destroyed me. I couldn't help the slight grin that came to my face at the sound of her wind chime laughter though. It always made my heart flutter excitedly and my stomach flip-flop, in a good way, of course.

"By the way, when you say you don't _do_ cute then call me cute, does that mean you won't do _me_?" Alice flirted suddenly, raising an eyebrow at me and I blushed like mad at her sudden change of pace.

"What? N-no, you're uh, v-very doable!" I stammered and cursed my stupidity as her she busted out laughing again.

"Too easy, Swan, too easy."

…

She got me.

"Are you calling me easy?" I growled back as I caught on to her little joke and she merely smirked that infuriatingly sexy smirk at me again.

"Only for short, future seeing vampires," she lilted easily and I suddenly remembered what I was supposed to be doing instead of trading banter with the girl before me.

"Speaking of which…We kind of need to talk," I said slowly and her smile faded.

"I know," she whispered and the playfulness disappeared as we landed on a more serious note.

"You always do," I whispered back and she smiled softly.

"Naturally," she murmured and we seemed to come to a silent agreement that now was the time to go to her room.

* * *

We were sitting on her bed together, with her leaning against her headboard and me in front of her. I was still cradling the too hot drink in my hands and I sat Indian style, mimicking her.

For a minute or two, it was quiet.

"So…Where should we start?" she said finally, golden eyes roaming over mine.

"I guess I should start by saying we need some ground rules," I jumped in without hesitation and she nodded her head slowly.

"Like?"

"Well, first off, what happened the other day in the hospital bathroom? It can't happen again, okay?" I almost rushed it out, a bit wary of how she'd take it.

Alice suddenly looked very guilty and ashamed of herself. She should have, at least a little. However, Esme's words came to my mind again…Alice was trying to be better for me. Alice had been practicing, whatever that meant. I was pretty sure Alice was trying to prevent something like that from ever happening again…

"I know and Bella I am so sorry about that. I was upset, but I'm not trying to make excuses. Ever since then I've been working on my control like crazy. The only relapse I had was…Today, when you were in the shower…"

I swallowed hard and blushed like crazy for the millionth time.

Move on, please, please, just move on and pretend like it never happened!

"That one was my bad. I shouldn't have done that," I apologized, embarrassed as fuck. You really can't get anything past a vampire.

"It's fine. I'm getting better though, okay? I don't expect you to just let it go, though. I know what I did was wrong and I'm working on it. I'm trying to be better for you," Alice proclaimed, voice soft but sincere.

Success. She dodged it, and therefore, so did I.

I nodded slowly, officially, for the first time, forgiving her actions for that day.

When I rushed over here before, I think I kind of guilt tripped myself into it. I did deserve some of the guilt, but still, I hadn't completely gotten over how aggressive she'd been. But being here, seeing how determined she looked and how honest she was in her apology, I couldn't hold it against her. She hadn't meant any harm.

"It's okay. Just please don't do that again, alright? Don't get me wrong, I mean like…I like kissing you, you know? It's really awesome, like it's the bomb-"

FUCK my life for still using that stupid term! Not to mention I sound like a babbling buffoon, going on about her kissing skills. But I really, really didn't want to end up stopping the kissing or hand holding, or hugs and snuggling…

Alice's laughter had my face heating up again.

"I'm glad you like kissing me, Bella. I like kissing you too. I find it hard to believe you've never kissed anyone before though. You're pretty good at it," Alice complimented which didn't help the whole blush dilemma.

"T-thanks. I don't want us to stop touching, but I'm not ready to go that far, okay?"

"Okay. That's definitely okay with me, Bella. I'll never push you into anything, especially not something like that," Alice quickly reassured me, putting a hand on my knee to reaffirm her sincerity.

"Okay. Cool," I said and she smiled.

"Anything else we should talk about?" she tilted her head.

"Yeah, um…You're working on your whole jealousy thing too, right?" I hesitantly asked, unsure of how she'd respond.

She frowned but nodded yes.

"I am. I know it's becoming a problem, but the thing is, the vampire inside me and hell, just _me_ recoils at the thought of anyone having you but me. I'm terrified of losing you, Bella, but I'm positively petrified of losing you to _someone else_," Alice confessed, eyes swirling with emotion. "Being possessive of you is something that's not going to go away, but I'll do my damndest not to make it a problem. I can't help but want you all to myself, Bella. I'm not going to lie and I'm pretty sure you already figured it out, but seeing you in my clothes excites me but it also makes my undead heart pound with joy because it just screams that you belong to _me_…"

I listened closely, trying to understand her point of view.

"It tells me that your body is mine, if your heart can't be yet. It's stupid, but the vampire within me rejoices at the fact that you are wearing my clothes. I just couldn't stand the thought of you wearing something of Esme's or Rosalie's. Especially Rosalie's," Alice continued, avoiding my gaze.

"Does that make me a bad person, a horrible girlfriend? I know it does, and I'm trying so hard, Bella. I'll fix myself for you, no matter what it takes. I just can't help but want to own some part of you, seeing as how you already own all of me, heart, body and soul…"

"No! Alice, NO! You aren't a bad person. I get it, that you want me to be yours. I feel it too, ya know? When Angela said something about having been with you, something inside me rebelled at her. I want you to be mine as well, Alice. It's just part of nature. And you _do_ own a part of me even if I'm not sure what part of me that is, but it's going to take _time_ for you to own _all_ of me. It doesn't work if we rush things, remember?" I reassured her, scooting closer and she nodded once more.

"You've had years to fall in love with me and I've had weeks to even get to know you," I whispered, leaning forward to let her know I meant it. "We just need…Time. That's all. And you just need to be…Less violent about your possessive side, okay?"

"Right. Less violent. I can do that," she affirmed, smiling at me. "So go slow, no sex and work on the possessiveness, got it. Is that it?"

I thought over everything again, trying to see if there was anything else that needed to be addressed.

"Pretty much," I said and she smirked.

"Well. That doesn't sound too hard. I've got all the time in the world and I'll spend all of it on you, Bella. You and me and everything that we can possibly be together," Alice smiled, leaning back into the headboard and looking relatively happy.

"Good, because I'm pretty damn interested in learning more about you, Mary Alice Brandon. By the way, how did you-SHIT!" I yelped as I, without thinking about it, took a healthy sip of still boiling hot chocolate, searing my lips, my tongue and the roof of my mouth.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Alice gasped, going forward on her knees as I nearly dropped the mug and my eyes watered in pain.

Fucking A! I thought my mouth was going to turn in to a ball of flames!

"Mm, that fucking hurt!" I winced, opening my mouth to let cool air rush over my tongue as the searing pain overwhelmed me.

No matter how much time I spent in the presence of the most graceful person on earth, I was still a total freaking klutz.

"You dork!" Alice murmured, cupping my face in her hands as I whimpered in pain and she gently looked into my injured mouth.

I swore I could feel my tongue swelling and my lips hurt like hell.

"Ow," I whimpered again and she frowned, her forehead creasing in sympathy.

"Oh, Bella, you can be such a dummy sometimes," she sighed and I scowled a little bit at that. Insulting me was no way to fix this!

"Shut up! I didn't mean too!" I huffed back, glaring at her a little. I'd expected a little more kindness for my wounds.

She giggled.

"Sorry, sorry. Look, does it really hurt that bad?"

"Obviously," I grumbled, trying not to wince as my mouth throbbed.

"Well, I can help…If you'll let me," Alice whispered, looking deeply into my eyes and I shifted, recognizing the look a little.

"Vampires _are _pretty cold," she mumbled, allowing me to catch her drift.

"Oh," was all I could squeak out.

"Do you want me too…?"

Did I want to let Alice Cullen kiss the pain away?

DUH!

"S-s-sure," I stuttered and she gently took the cup of offending liquid away from me, setting it on the table beside her bed before returning to me, cupping my face in her hands.

"Trust me. It's okay," she whispered, still on her knees and I instinctively tilted my head to the right as she tilted hers left, easing forward.

And I did, trust her, that is...I couldn't tell you why, but I did. I trusted her with all my heart not to repeat her previous attempts to kiss me and not go wild...

I could have died with pleasure as her soothing, cool lips pressed against my own scalded ones, the relief blissful. I whimpered right then and heard her purr softly. It had been so long since we'd kissed like this…Her sweet, silky, cold tongue lovingly pushed into my mouth, caressing my burned tongue in icy heaven.

I moaned, tentatively allowing my own tongue to twist with hers, curiously discovering and for the first time, allowing myself to savor the sensations. I felt her press against me in an effort to get closer as the pain ebbed away, and she softly stroked my cheek with her thumb while her left hand descended, rubbing the warm skin near my hip that had been exposed when the tiny shirt lifted. It was a gentle, affectionate touch and the kiss was sweet and tender.

We both broke apart at the same time, gasping slightly but neither of us pulled away. Our foreheads rested together, our eyes locked, brown on semi-black gold.

"Whoa. I'm better at this than I thought I was," Alice giggled, breathing almost as hard as I was. "I don't feel the urge to go run to the corner of the room and hide my nose for once. It's so incredible, to be able to be near you like this, to be as high as you make me and not feel overdosed. I'm still addicted to you, my drug, Isabella Swan. But I don't think…You're not as lethal as you were before," Alice went on, her sweet breath ghosting over my lips.

"You're getting stronger, better. Are you doing all this for me, practicing like Esme said?" I murmured back and she nodded slowly, easing forward and gently pressing her face into the crook of my neck. She turned us, very easily, fluidly in her graceful way so that I fell back softly into the bed. She hesitated, waiting to see if I'd stop her (as if) and settled atop me. She was light, but hard. Not uncomfortably so. In fact, her weight was comforting if anything, and I nuzzled her neck back, starting the engine in chest purring. Peace, clarity and serenity over came us…

We didn't have to say anything as we snuggled in the moonlight pouring through her window, probably didn't want to say anything to ruin this perfection. What would come would come, but not now…Later.

And we would meet it when it did, hand in hand, _together_.

For now, I didn't have the heart to tell Alice about my ever growing fear of Victoria and what she had done and probably would do again in the future…

I didn't have the heart to break this perfect moment, didn't have the heart to come down from this Alice induced high…

I finally understood what she meant when she said I got her _high_. I literally felt stoned, blissed out on her, on top of the world here with her as she slipped her arms underneath mine and turned her hands over to lovingly grasp my shoulders while burying her nose into my shoulder, inhaling my scent as I inhaled hers to get as high as possible on each other…

I was officially addicted to Mary Alice Brandon, my own personal drug…


	13. Icky Vicky

The days went by, progressively getting better as they did. Seconds, minutes, days, weeks and then a month went by, all of these precious moments filled with Alice, new friends and a better than before feeling. I felt better than I had in a long, long time.

Alice and I were now almost inseparable, joined at the hip, if you will. Her control had become phenomenal, much to my pleasure. We could make out for long periods of time without her needing a vampire break.

Speaking of which…

We were touching and kissing a lot more as time went by. If we weren't kissing, we were holding hands. If we weren't holding hands, we'd each find a way to subtly brush against the other. To me, her touch was literally electric due to the cold of her skin and just for the thrill of touching my glorious Alice. I searched for any reason to be in Alice's arms or to hold the pixie close to me, desperately tried to hang on to every last hot, luscious kiss we shared in one of our many make-out sessions. I was becoming, much to my astonishment, more confident in these daily occurrences and much more _hungry_.

For some reason, my libido had skyrocketed. I blamed it on pheromones, Alice being just plain sexy and something I couldn't quite put my finger on…

It kind of unnerved me, how constantly wet and horny I was. I knew it had something to do with Alice and her vampire-ness, but I was too embarrassed to address it.

Either way, I was slowly losing my grip on my desire to take it slow. I thought about it constantly, being with Alice like that. But some stupid, paranoid belief made me think that if I let her have me, she'd not want my heart anymore. I know it was dumb, but I couldn't help it. I wanted more than just her touch; I wanted her to love me, too…

I know it was frustrating her. Hell, I think I even pissed her off a couple of times. We'd kiss and kiss and get so worked up only to have me push her away hesitantly when she got too excited…I could get as excited as I wanted, make her suffer with it but it always came down to me. I decided when we stopped, and often that was on the brink of her sanity, her control…

And I had come to terms with it. I was in love with Mary Alice Brandon.

I just couldn't say it.

Alice would tell me she loved me every now and then, but I knew she'd rather not say it at all than not hear it said back to her. I know I was hurting her, but for some idiotic and pointless reason, I just couldn't get it off my tongue for her…The words would form, but my mouth wouldn't speak them and I couldn't figure out why…

Anyways…

Alice wasn't as jealous as before, though she still gave any girl that came within five feet of me a tight little smirk and narrowed eyes. After having several scattered conversations with Carlisle in my increasing amount of time spent at Alice's, I'd discovered Alice didn't care for the boys because somewhere in her subconscious mind, Alice knew I was gay. She saw only females as potential threats to my affections or lust, and so responded to them in kind. She didn't mean too, and she'd once hurt Angela's feelings the first time I invited Alice to sit with us at lunch by glaring at her. Angela had frowned, stung at Alice's negative response to her tentative hello.

I'd proceeded to nudge Alice's side with my elbow, gently so as not to hurt myself and Alice had softened her features and kindly said hello back.

By the way, what happened with Alice and Angela was a brief but intense month long relationship that Alice had attempted in a desperate bit to get her mind off of me. The only reason Alice hadn't approached me before is because she was terrified she'd hurt me and she knew she'd end up having to give away her secret, which Carlisle told me was pretty much the only 'rule' a vampire had to follow, according to the mysterious Volturi which he _still_ had been unable to contact about that bitch Victoria…

Yeah, they really need to get their shit together because Victoria's whole stalking predator deal has really been fraying on my nerves lately. The only thing that made me feel safe was being near or with Alice. I could constantly feel her violating gaze on me in Biology, wondered if she was hiding behind the corners in the hallways waiting to jump on me and do _stuff_…

…And I still hadn't told Alice about what she did to me. I was afraid of what Alice would do, if she'd blow up and try to attack Victoria publicly, exposing herself to the entire student body of Forks in her rage. Besides, Victoria didn't do it again, and she certainly wouldn't do it with Alice sitting right next to me.

Whatever that psycho two-cent whore was doing or whatever she wanted, she was still in the planning phases, I suppose...

Anyways, Angela quickly grew quite fond of Alice, and Alice grew fond of her as well, though not nearly as much as Angela. She liked Angela a lot, but not that way. They'd kissed some, but that was as far as their physical relationship went (much to my delight). Alice couldn't stand leading Angela on and broke it off, devastating Angela (much to my sympathy). Angela had been unable to hold a grudge against Alice, and Alice felt terrible about breaking her heart. They remained friends, even if they didn't talk much anymore.

Over the course of the month, I learned a great deal about Alice and a little more about that Vampriosia deal. Mary Alice Brandon was Alice's full name, but she took on the last name Cullen like her family for convenience purposes.

She was also once in the loony bin.

Not for what you might think though.

Back in those old days, especially in the highly religious South, having visions was a thing of Satan, and she was pronounced crazy and thrown in an insane asylum. She says a mysterious person saved her from an exorcism through fire, a vampire with golden-red eyes…

The one who had changed her.

Alice had escaped and disgusted with what she'd become, refused to feed. Carlisle found her dying in a ditch and nursed her back to health, helping her come to terms with herself and the monster within her. She says she can't remember anything beyond that, other than the fact that she has a niece living somewhere in Phoenix, my old home.

Weird…

Whatever. You learn to roll with it after awhile.

Anywho, her visions are not really visions but highly accurate predictions. Like, insanely accurate. Carlisle says Alice must have been a very clairvoyant human, and her visions are actually her infected with Vampriosia brain cells' impeccable ability to judge the outcomes of certain situations and their different paths, and when they decide on the most accurate one, they create a shockingly clear and realistic picture of the events that will happen in her mind. Like, if a cup of water was going to spill, Alice would see it happening. Carlisle says she is more in touch with that sixth sense that animals have, like the ability to predict a storm coming, plus a little spice of mysterious, magic touch, and all of this mixes together and creates the future seeing ability my girl has.

Currently, we're sitting in Biology, heads together, whispering and giggling foolishly, but I couldn't have been any happier with her sweet, golden eyes locked on mine as she grins and murmurs things funny, things cute, things heartwarming and things that make me want to drop my panties for her right then and there, her sexy suave smirk always present…

Victoria may as well have not existed in that moment to me. All there was to me was Alice.

Until the ho walked into the classroom, strutting with a predatory smile plastered firmly on her face, black blouse unbuttoned ridiculously, inappropriately low and her skirt much too short for any teacher to ever wear.

Like, seriously.

What the fuck.

I'm seriously pulling a Jessica Stanley here.

"Good morning, class," Victoria lilted out, bitter sweet and her lilt could never compare to the high, soft lilt that Alice possessed.

"Good morning, bitch," Alice muttered under her breath and I saw the smile on Victoria's face tighten slightly as Alice and I turned away from each other and the class went dead silent, eerily so as it always did when Victoria entered.

I tried not to snicker, really, I did.

But I couldn't help it. My hatred of the redhead vampire had only grown as my love for Alice had. What she'd done to Alice made me sick, made me want to kick her in her fuckin' fire crotch…

I failed, though, which isn't surprising when your name is Isabella Swan and ended up covering my mouth to stop the sniggers.

Alice no longer shook with rage in Victoria's presence. She'd adopted a humorous attitude about it all to keep her cool and remain in control, often cracking little insults that I _know_ Victoria could hear with her vampire senses under her breath, or only smirking maddeningly, deceivingly sweet at her, batting her eyelashes in fake obliviousness as if Victoria was only another teacher to charm or please with petty bullshit.

I was incredibly proud of how adept Alice had become had controlling herself.

"Something you'd like to share, you two?" Victoria called, raising an eyebrow at us and leaning against her desk, or rather, Mr. Brody's desk and sneering at us.

"No, Ms. Loria," Alice and I replied in a monotone at the same time and almost busted out giggling because of it.

Yes, I was now part of one of the couples I used to hate that laughed at the stupidest things together.

"Good, because if you did, I'd have to ask you to be queit on penalty of _punishment_," Victoria responded and as she finished pronouncing the pronunciation of the letter T in punishment, I came apart.

Her pheromones hit me like a kick in the face and I gasped aloud, nearly crying out in tortured ecstasy. Alice's whole body lurched taut and the smirk was literally wiped from her face as I clamped my thighs together and bit down on choked whimpers, writhing in pleasure as I throbbed and ached between my legs.

_Stop it. This is wrong. Stop! STOP!_

I hated it and loved it too; wishing I could slam her fucking teeth in as she kept me squirming and Alice shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

I'd thought I was safe with Alice here. Apparently, Victoria was done stalking and was now initiating her attack, regardless of if my pixie was here protecting me.

I put my elbows on the desk, a high pitched, strangled moan dying in the back of my throat as I buried my head in my hands and tried not to cum all over myself.

_You can't do this to me! I am not yours! Stop! Make it stop!_

Alice was apparently having an even rougher time of it. She clawed the desk in front of her violently, and luckily we were at the front of the room and no one saw the angry gouges she left in the solid metal. She slammed her heels into the floor and leaned forward in her seat, lip pulling back and revealing glistening canines. From the corner of my eye, she looked ferocious, feral and very, very pissed off.

_Make her stop! Make her stop, please, make her stop! I can't take it! Please, Alice, make her stop…_

A wave of images hit me, hot and slick and all of them of Alice. I jerked my head in a pathetic attempt to shake them off, but the lust overwhelmed me as the air thickened and I tried not to melt in on myself. I clutched at my hair, curling my toes as the bitch twisted me around her finger and made me arch up…

_Make her stop, please, Alice, save me…_

"_STOP_!" Alice screamed suddenly, standing so swiftly and furiously that her chair didn't just fall, it flung backwards and hit the desk behind her, startling the two students occupying it. She slammed her hands down, palms flat against the metal and bent over the desk, shoulders hunched and teeth bared in a snarl. Her nostrils flared and I realized just how many problems me being so slick and wanting for her would cause…

The pheromones dissipated instantly and I slumped with a whimper, exhausted and feeling violated to the point that I actually almost felt raped.

"Ms. Cullen, Ms. Swan, what has come over the two of you? Bella, dear, you look like you're going to be sick. Are you alright?" Victoria tilted her head, not bothered at all by the seething, trembling vampire glaring burning holes into her skull.

Neither of us responded. I don't think we could.

"If there is no reason for your outburst, Ms. Cullen, then I must insist upon detention for it. Take your seat," Victoria went on, her voice taking on a firmer quality and her eyes bore into Alice's.

I saw that look for what it was. It was a challenge. It was a gauntlet thrown down. She was daring Alice to go on, to explode like she looked like she wanted too, daring her to expose them both in her fit of rage. I thought she would do it, and honestly I wouldn't have blamed her.

But you should never bet against Alice.

With control and utter willpower, Alice snapped her quivering jaw shut, ripping the snarl forcefully from herself and sitting back down, yanking her chair back into its proper place. One of the legs was broken and wobbling from its tumultuous launch through the air but she, with her perfect grace, kept her balance, her chest rumbling violently as my chest heaved and I tried for her to get a grip on myself.

"What a chaotic start to today, huh, kids? Ah, well, if these two hoodlums are done, please turn to chapter twelve in your textbooks…" I didn't have it in me to look around and see what our deathly silent peers looked like after that. The ordeal had lasted maybe a minute in full.

Her smirk enraged me, took whatever horny edge she'd put on me away and destroyed it. She had hurt my girl, my pixie, my Alice, more than once, too…

And I swore to myself as I panted and Alice clawed the crooks of her elbows, arms crossed, that I would make that sick bitch pay, somehow.

One day, bitch.

You're gonna get what's coming to you.

* * *

Forty stressful and intense minutes later, Alice and I both fled the Biology classroom and Alice pressed me against the lockers as soon as we made it out in the swarm of students going to their next class.

"Don't you _dare_ get in to trouble for the rest of this day, _please_, Bella. Be safe for me. I _can't_…Stay close to my family and far, _far_ away from me," Alice hissed, and for a moment so brief I thought I might have imagined it, she crushed her lips to mine, moaning and making my knees weak before she disappeared into the crowd, and I wouldn't see her for the rest of the day as she tried not to turn back and fuck me senseless or gorge herself on my blood…

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

"Jesus," I breathed, realized I was still standing by the Biology classroom and took off, head spinning and wishing Alice would come back to me…

I spent lunch surrounded by the Cullens with my other friends sitting at our usual table, motioning to me pointlessly. Needless to say, these vampires were not a happy bunch. Rosalie looked like she was about to bust someone up, Edward and Jasper were both speaking in quiet, tense tones in vampire speed and even Emmett looked more like a vampire and less like a giant teddy bear. He had his hands linked together and his elbows on the table, flexing his muscles as if he wanted so badly to use them and he kept cracking his knuckles…

Never have I actually been scared of Emmett, but right then, I wanted to flee that table. He and Rosalie were almost too much.

Alice never showed up but I was too nervous to ask any of them where she might have gone.

When school let out, I made a beeline for Alice's bright yellow Mustang and to my complete relief, she was there, leaning against her car with a dark, stormy expression on her face, her arms crossed and swirling, honey eyes staring into the nothing.

"Alice," I breathed as I jogged over to her, wishing and hoping my scent was not as potent as it was earlier. The slow, measured breath she took and the way she closed her eyes for a moment told me that it probably wasn't much, at least for her.

"Bella," she managed, turning towards me and giving me a look that broke my resolve to try and give her a little space.

I lunged forward, throwing my arms around her neck and crashing into her concrete form. I wanted so much to take her pain away, soak it up and make it be gone. I wanted her to smile with me like before, before _Victoria_. I couldn't help it. This wasn't the lust; this was that love I had been denying to myself.

"God, I am so sorry!" I cried into the crook of her neck. I'd discovered that for vampires, it was a sweet spot, both for kissing and for affectionate gestures. I snuggled into her and felt her stiff body give, melting into the embrace.

"For what? You didn't do anything," Alice murmured, rubbing slow, soothing circles between my shoulder blades and my lower back.

"Just for everything, for everything you've had to go through because of Victoria, because of me, just because of life. I'm just sorry! I want to help you and I feel so helpless right now," I whispered, clinging to her tightly and feeling her latch on to me just as tightly.

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. I didn't lose it. Before I met you, before I was with you, I'd have torn into her without a second thought. You make me better, Bella. You _are_ helping me. You make me stronger," Alice mumbled back, squeezing me lightly.

"I'm so proud of you, Alice. Your control is incredible now," I complimented, pulling back a little to gaze into her gorgeous, butterscotch eyes.

"Thanks," she grinned a little, easing me off a bit and breathing through her mouth.

"Oh. Sorry. I forgot," I apologized, feeling like a clingy dork and stepped back, but couldn't help but keep my hands on her arms.

"No big deal. Look, after today, I think we both know something needs to be done if the damn Volturi won't answer Carlisle's calls," Alice stated, her voice taking on that darker note again, and I nodded.

"Right, but what?" I said slowly.

"Well, I don't think you're going to like it, and I know Carlisle won't…"

That's never a good way to start off a plan.

"Me and the others, my siblings I mean, have decided no more waiting. You mean too much to me to let that…that wretched, slimy, repugnant, foul, nasty cock sucking bitch get you. I won't let it happen."

Forgive me, all, for not being able to control the burst of laughter that escaped me as Alice Cullen called someone a cock sucking bitch.

Really, Victoria had truly and honestly pissed Alice off.

"What are you laughing at? This isn't funny, Bella. This is your life we're talking about," Alice huffed and I sobered quickly.

"Sorry."

"Not important. Look, tonight we hunt. We're going to find Victoria and we're going to finish her, once and for all. No Volturi mind games, no nothing but her kissing the ground as we tear her apart," Alice growled, her chest vibrating.

I blushed at her words, swallowing hard. Her tone was so grim, and Esme's words came back to me.

_Alice can be quiet, she can be loud, she can be sweet and she can be the most vicious thing alive if provoked. Underestimating her is a mistake, and judging her without knowing her an even bigger one. Just when you think you have her figured out, you both learn something about her that you never knew…_

The truth of those words was coming true today. Never had I seen Alice so dark and terrifying…

"You'll stay with Carlisle and Esme, because I don't want this fight coming back to you. They'll protect you if Victoria tries to get to you. She won't though. Things are different this time, much, much different. I'm not the vulnerable, pathetic little weakling I was back then, and Rosalie is infinitely more powerful than before. Victoria's got no idea what's going to hit her. That's _my_ thing," Alice went on and I tried to process what she was saying.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea," I said slowly and Alice shrugged.

"I think it is. So it's going to happen. The Volturi can piss off. They brought you into this and now I'm getting you out of it. This was never your problem, and I won't let it be, Bella. I love you, you know that right? I know you're not ready to say it back, but you have to know that this is all for you. I don't give a damn what happens to me as long as you're okay," Alice proclaimed and my face went hot and my heart swelled a hundred times over.

I leaned in and planted a kiss firmly to her mouth, reveling in the feel of her cool, silky lips against mine.

"You stupid vampire. You stupid, stupid vampire," I whispered and she raised an eyebrow as I broke the kiss and held tightly to her face.

"Excuse me?"

"I love you, you idiot," I blurted before I could stop myself then immediately…

Felt like the dumbest dumbass in the history of all things or persons dumbass.

I finally get it out, and I call her an idiot, just for kicks.

Fuck.

My life.

Sideways.

Ah, well, at least I said it. All the things she said, all the things she did, all her love proclamations and declarations, all her efforts to be better for me, all her promises, all the moments we'd shared in the past month or two had come and hit me in the face all at once.

There was no denying it, no dodging it, no pretending like it didn't exist.

I was in love with Alice Cullen, and probably had been since the moment we kissed that one fateful day in detention. No longer did I hate chewing gum. I praised it.

"Bella," Alice breathed as I winced and tried not to turn and slam my head repeatedly into her car.

"Do you mean it?" she whispered, her eyes filled with a hope that made my chest tighten and my lips press firmly to hers again.

"Yes! Of course! I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," I mumbled against her mouth and she actually let out an adorable squeal, wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tightly, going on her tippy toes to kiss me back hard.

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, I'm too old to be acting like this but…Bella!" she cried out and I laughed as the beaming smile broke her grim demeanor, her joy contagious and amazing as we embraced and shared several sweet kisses.

"I've been waiting to hear that for so long," Alice whispered as she affectionately dragged her nose beneath my ear, pressing chaste kisses to the spot and making my knees wobble as I swooned into her.

"How old are you, anyway?" I laughed and she smirked back.

"How old do you think I am?"

"Obviously not eighteen. Sometimes you act like a regular teenager, and other times you act like you're from another time," I replied as we stood, locked together in the parking lot.

"I'm actually…" Alice's reply slowly trailed off as she looked over my shoulder into the woods behind us.

The term, it's behind me, isn't it? kind of fit nicely here. I looked around, spotted a shock of flaming red hair that quickly disappeared into the forest and then Alice was rumbling violently.

"She fucking puts the _ICK_ in Victoria, alright. What a damn creeper!" Alice snarled and stepped away from me, towards the forest.

"Alice, relax. It's okay, she's gone. You'll get her later," I said slowly, putting a hand on her shoulder to try and keep her calm.

"I want to get her now! After what she did to you…" Alice ground out, slipping right back into her furious mood.

Sigh. And here I thought we were making progress.

"It wasn't even that bad…Besides, it's not like that's the first time she's done it…"

As soon as I said it, I realized my mistake. Did I say I was a dumbass before? I deserve the dumbass of the year award here.

And I'd like to thank the academy…

Alice's eyes went wide and she growled, low in her throat like a rabid animal.

"What?" she literally hissed, hands curling into fists.

"I m-meant, uh, she k-kind of…a-already d-did it once b-before, when you weren't um…here?"

Alice took off, tearing into the forest before I even had time to blink.

"Why? Why God, Zeus, Allah, Life? Why do you hate me so?" I whined, so utterly fed up. "Here we go again," I muttered to myself and sprinted after Alice, using the trail of destroyed vegetation to follow her. I may have been running straight to Victoria, but it was Alice, so what could I do but keep on going?

When I finally caught up to her in a small clearing, I found her on hands and knees, mewling with her ass in the air and her hips bucking with a devilish red haired vampire standing over her, sneering down at her.

Fuck. My. Life.


	14. Pawns On a Chessboard

At first, I was blown away. I could do nothing but stare, awestruck by Alice as her hips rotated in the air, her lips parted in ecstasy. Naturally, my knees buckled and I clutched at the tree in front of me to keep from collapsing as pheromones waved through the air, sweet and beckoning from both of them.

But then I saw her eyes.

Liquid, night black terror filled them, fear and fury and pain…And then I could hear that strain beneath her cries of pleasure, coating her exclamations and pleas with something dark, something terrified as she relived nightmares and began new ones…

Rage welled within me, terror as well; of course, I mean Victoria was a frigging vampire, but it was smothered by the hot swell of anger building inside my chest and stomach, tightening them almost painfully.

"Stop it! Leave her alone!" I screamed, stumbling into the clearing as Alice wailed, dry sobbing and collapsing forward, curling up into a fetal position. My heartbeat went funny, jerking and almost stopping as my breath hitched.

Alice, oh, God, _Alice_…

Every nerve inside me screamed, burned and ached in protest of the monstrosity being committed before me. My girl, my vampire, my pixie was shaking on the ground, going to pieces…

And it was all because of that flame haired bitch standing over her, manipulating her into it.

"Hmm? Oh, hello, Bella. I don't know what she thought she was doing, chasing after me like that," Victoria commented as I trembled with anger and fear before her.

"Stop it! You're hurting her!" I cried, lifting my hands, whirling back and forth in desperation to find something, anything to do to save Alice, to end her misery.

"You know, I would, but every time I do, she does this," Victoria sighed and suddenly Alice's pained cries cut off, a snarl ripped from her chest and she lunged towards Victoria, more feral and animalistic than I had ever seen her before. She got within two inches of the woman as my breath caught sharply before she crashed back down, twitching under Victoria and whimpering piteously.

"Damn it! Leave her alone!" I shouted, panic creeping into my voice.

What could I do, but stand there and freak out?

Well I'd be damned if I stood by and did nothing as Alice was tortured before me, no way in hell…

"I swear, if you don't leave her alone you psychopathic bitch-!" I started but Victoria's laughter cut me off.

Great.

Everybody knows when the bad guy laughs, it means you messed up. It means either they know something you don't, or they find all your attempts to be heroic and brave pathetic and weak…

It was probably both, knowing my luck.

"What? What will you do, huh? You're a human, an odd one, granted, but still human. You can't touch me," Victoria taunted and I blushed, furious at the truth of her words.

I was nothing but a weak, fragile human, incapable of hurting her, but damn it, I had to _try_.

For Alice.

So I took a deep breath and before I could talk myself out of it, though, in hindsight, I probably should have tried to talk myself out of it as it was obviously stupid, I reared back and socked her with all my might, square in her nose.

We all saw this coming from a mile away.

Victoria raised her eyebrow as my lips parted in pain and I yelped, jumping back and beginning to hop around like the retard I was, swearing and cradling my throbbing hand. She rubbed invisible dirt off of her nose as I mentally beat myself over the head, again and again.

Yup, it's official. I am the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

The fact that I know I'm an idiot, but still continue to act like one is ironic in and of itself…

"Well, that was smart," Victoria rolled her eyes, looking at me with a bemused expression. "Would you like to try again?"

I gave her my best fuck you look, but couldn't really pull it off. Alice was probably laying there thinking, 'Yep, I'm so screwed.' Everybody there knew how dumb that was, and yet, here I go, attempting once more to do something, anything to wipe that smug look right off her sick face…

I looked around, spinning in a full circle before I spotted what I was looking for. I picked up the huge rock and with a grunt of effort, launched it right at her face.

"Really? That's the best you can come up with?" Victoria laughed, not even moving her body but simply tilting her head slightly, the rock flinging right by her head, not even brushing her flaming hair.

Fail.

Damn it.

Damn, damn, damn!

No way was I going to let this freak just stand here and hurt her like this!

"Go to hell!" I yelled, utterly frustrated as Alice writhed on the ground, snarling obscenities and weak threats.

"Get out of here, Bella! Go!" she managed and Victoria rolled her eyes again.

I was surprised Alice could speak at all.

"Please! I'm losing it! You're going to get hurt! _GET OUT OF HERE_!" Alice snarled, her words coming true even as she spoke them. Her lips had pulled back, revealing inch long fangs and her eyes were getting wilder, more and more vampire, more and more touchy Bella's privates and suck her blood.

"Oh, please. Are you two really going to pull that whole hero cliché? Be original, at least," Victoria scoffed and Alice's eyes slammed shut, her body jerking as she began losing her control.

She was so strong to have lasted as long as she had, compared to how she would have been two months ago. But now was not the time to praise her but figure out something to help her before there was nothing left to praise…

Where is Rosalie when you need her, when you actually _want_ her to go apeshit on someone?

"Shut up!" I snapped, scrambling towards the edge of the forest, wondering why she didn't just finish us both off as we were obviously failing to defeat her. Probably playing with her prey before she actually killed it…

"Make me," Victoria snickered, putting one hand on her hip and turning to face me as I turned back around, a long, solid branch in my hand.

Shut up.

I don't want to hear it.

I am perfectly aware of how desperate and idiotic this was.

But I couldn't find it in myself to do _nothing_. I had to save Alice. Things always start getting so good before they go to hell.

I rushed forward and her complete and total amusement made me furious as she started laughing before I even reached her. I swung as hard as I could and cracked her right across her temple.

That branch, however, was deceiving. It wasn't as solid or firm as it looked or felt, and the rotted piece of shit snapped in two, showering the redhead with dust and debris…

Effectively shutting her up.

Her laughter abruptly cut off and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Well.

At least she shut up.

I suppose that counts for something, the fact that I made a vampire do anything.

"Now _that_," Victoria murmured as she brushed off her clothes, glaring hard at me as the nasty rotted wood was knocked off her shoulders with slow, meticulous movements. "That, actually annoyed me."

Crap.

Before I could even think about turning and running like hell, I was slammed against the tree behind me, my windpipe closed as Victoria's hand wrapped around my throat and she pinned me. I gasped and heard Alice's infuriated hissing and snarling as she staggered up, only to collapse when Victoria threw a wave of pheromones at her, knocking her back down.

"I guess it's my turn then," she whispered in that slick, too sweet, low voice of hers and I choked weakly, grasping her wrist in both my hands as she pressed her thumb to my pulse point and pressed down painfully.

I hate my life. Seriously. I miss staying home all week, not going out and just chilling all day. Sure, it was a boring life, but it didn't get me stuck beneath an agitated vampire ready to rip my throat out…

Ah, but then, it didn't bring me Alice either…

"Let go, please. Leave Alice alone. If you…if you get me, there's no reason to hurt her, okay? You'll be even," I whimpered, resorting to my last resort, begging and pleading.

"NO!" I heard Alice roar, pounding the ground with her fists as she struggled to get up again.

"You've grown stronger. Years ago, you'd have been silent and broken, but now you fight with all you have…What changed, Alice? What has made you into this?" Victoria tilted her head, turning her attention away from me for a moment as she looked contemplatively at Alice, who had finally managed to make it to her feet, even as she shook violently.

Alice let out an unintelligible snarl, taking one weak step forward but getting blasted back as Victoria unleashed her powers again.

"BELLA! Don't you dare! I swear, if you say that again-FUCK!" Alice raged, desperately trying to claw her way up, desperately trying to hang on to her sanity as she was battered relentlessly by the woman pinning me down.

My heart was breaking as I struggled to breathe.

"Oh…? Could it be?" Victoria murmured, turning back to me as Alice fell once more, unable to gather enough strength to do anything but swear as her body was taken apart from the inside.

What Victoria had done to me was nothing compared to what she was doing to my Alice, my angel…

I hated that woman with a passion so strong, so vicious that I actually scared myself with it. Never had I wanted to hurt anyone or anything as much as I wanted in that moment…

She hurt Alice.

She has to pay.

She has to _die_!

Two months was clearly enough to become so strongly bonded to Alice that I was willing to kill for her…The connection was raw and powerful, so much that it terrified me but filled me with the will and strength to fight back.

"It is! Look at the two of you…It's _you_, a pathetic human that drives her, isn't it? She's fighting for _you_," Victoria tilted her head, seeming actually awed by the idea that someone could care that much about me.

Honestly, I couldn't blame her. I didn't get it either.

"Yes, and I'd really appreciate it if you would stop crushing my pharynx, thanks," I gasped, clawing at her hand.

Sarcasm. My best defense mechanism.

"Hmm? My apologies. I just really like this shirt," Victoria smirked, loosening her hold but not releasing me as I glared at her, hating her.

She laughed.

Damn it.

"What is your problem? God! Why can't you just go away! You're supposed to be dead, for Christ's sake!" I shouted at her.

"The Volturi have their ways to get what they want. This doesn't necessarily include willing participants in their plots and schemes, which, by the way, are ridiculously complicated and dreadfully long…" Victoria shrugged, her eyes darkening slightly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped, fed up with the games.

"It means I don't exactly have a choice in this, do I? Why would I hurt that which I saved? It seems a bit contradictory to me…" Victoria scowled back at me.

I am so sick of this whole riddle me this attitude vampires seem to have.

"What. Does. That. Mean? I have no idea what you're talking about! All I know is you're on a fricking revenge trip and you're a psycho bitch who needs to take the stick out of her fire crotch!" I shouted, then immediately clamped my mouth shut.

Yeah, let's agitate the vampire who could crush my throat before I could even blink.

Victoria's eyes narrowed, but then she laughed, _again_.

Stop _doing _that!

"Seems Alice really does know how to pick them. You are certainly interesting, Isabella Swan. I wonder, though, how much you two really understand about what's going on. I assume Alice has told you of our previous encounters?" Victoria watched me closely as Alice continued to struggle to get up behind her.

"Obviously," I muttered darkly and attempted to shove her hand away, but couldn't budge her.

"It doesn't matter, really. Nothing matters. Just don't hold any of this against me. I never had any interest or quarrel with Alice, nor do I have one with you. Understand that the ones you despise the most are always controlled like pawns on a chess board by the hierarchy, the King and Queen, and they will be mercilessly sacrificed in their war to please them until either black or white wins, leaving only destruction of the innocent in their wake…"

Nope.

Not even going to attempt to work through that riddled bullshit right now.

"You don't have to sit here and do this to us! If you don't want to then just stop!" I growled, jerking in her grip.

"And that is where you misunderstand. I do not have a choice, nor do you or Alice or the Cullens. You will play into this trap because you don't have a choice, just like I didn't. Even if you caught on to it, you'd still have to walk straight into it. The preservation of those you love is all that matters in the end, and that is what your enemy strives to destroy or use to manipulate you with. The most dangerous of enemies is the one hiding in the guise of your savior," Victoria babbled in her nonsensical way.

"That. Doesn't. Make. ANY. _SENSE_! God! Why can't you people just say what you mean instead of coating it in all this mystery! You're my enemy! There is nothing else to it! You're hurting the one I love! If you really didn't have a problem with us, you'd go away!" I shouted and Victoria's lips tightened.

"Have it your way. You will see, Isabella Swan. The lies that surround you will protect you no more. Your ignorance is rapidly going to turn from your bliss to your downfall. It is your ignorance, Isabella Swan, that will be the downfall of us _all_," Victoria rumbled, stepping away before backhanding me so hard that I saw stars.

I heard Alice's scream of rage and agonized torture as Victoria turned on her again, and my head spun painfully as I fell to the ground, my cheek burning and stinging.

Where the hell are Alice's siblings? Surely they have to know something was wrong by now. School had been out for an hour, and yet we were nowhere to be found.

As if on cue, I heard it.

A low rumble that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, like the sound of thunder, or a lion, or a tiger, or a bear…

Oh, my.

Rosalie stepped out of the forest behind me, finally arriving, lip curled back in the most vicious, furious snarl I'd ever seen it in, and that was saying something. Her eyes were semi black and red slits, her hands curled into tight claws at her sides and her whole body shook with raw power…

I crawled in front of Alice, putting one arm over her in a reflexive bit to shield her from what might come, even if it may have been useless. It was instinctive, to get in front of my incapacitated mate and protect her.

Rosalie looked like the Devil's mother in that moment as her eyes locked on us, Alice twitching and sobbing, snapping her jaw and trembling violently, Victoria's powers hurting her in more than physical ways…

"_I'll slaughter you_," she hissed, jerking her head up and glaring daggers into Victoria's eyes.

My stomach dropped at her voice and my heart began to pound with age old instincts to _run. Like. Hell_.

Rosalie was positively terrifying.

Victoria's whole expression shifted, becoming wary and nervous.

"You can't spell slaughter without laughter," Victoria whispered out, a bitter smile coming to her face as she realized just how much trouble she'd put herself in and resigned to it.

There was a _BOOM_ as the blur that was Rosalie's fist smashed into her nose, doing infinitely more damage than I ever could have. With a resounding _CRACK_, Victoria was _gone_. Pale white chips fluttered down where she'd been standing a moment before as she disappeared through the forest, crashing into trees and taking them with her. The little chips looked like pieces of her _face_.

"Ha. Ha," Rosalie hissed out, humorless and dark.

I shook as Rosalie disappeared without a glance back after her and more shapes appeared at the edge of the forest.

The Cullens had arrived.

Before I could even let out a breath of relief, what had been inevitable since Alice ran after Victoria happened.

Of freaking course.

Alice lifted up slowly, locked her stormy, solid black eyes on mine, let her fangs drop low and lunged at me, knocking my arm out of her way, all sense of humanity or control gone from her.

I squeaked as she plunged her tongue into my mouth, hungrily pushing forward and grabbing my wrists, crushing them into the ground above my head. I yelped as she undulated against me, one hand keeping me down and the other sliding down my body. She grasped my throbbing sex in her hand and pressed her palm tight against me. As if this wasn't bad enough, a blast of pure, sweet Alice pheromones exploded into me and I moaned loudly into her mouth, melting, instantly receptive to her, causing her to growl dominantly.

"Now, now, none of that, you two," Edward sighed, both him and Emmett rushing forward to yank Alice off of me. Alice roared, swung back and clawed at them both, making them retreat from her assault. Alice yanked me up and dragged me after her then crouched before me, hissing and snarling protectively, possessively keeping one hand behind her and on my arm. I was still dizzy and drunk on her touch and scent. Her pheromones had knocked me senseless.

"Now, Alice…We're not going to hurt you…" Jasper murmured hands up in a silent surrender as he slowly moved towards us, his own eyes going startlingly black as his already weak control was strained tight in the situation. I felt a wave of relaxing emotion overpower my own whirling emotions and Alice whined in the back of her throat, hissing when he came to close and backing us up even more.

I couldn't blame her at all. I didn't resent her. There was no way she could be doing anything but trying to protect me now.

Before anything else could be said or done, a red streak went flying by us, followed by a myriad of animalistic noises and a similar, yellowish-white blur. Both blurs crashed into the forest, and there was clearly a commotion going on. A loud shriek, strangely likened to that of a cat in pain met our ears, and then the red blur flipped back out of the trees in the form of Victoria to come to a jarring halt after a skid through the dirt, stopped by a tree trunk that cracked menacingly on impact.

It was too much for Alice who hissed and pulled me after her, deciding Emmett and Edward weren't so bad anymore. She pulled me behind the two of them and herself, forming a wall in front of me as her chest rumbled constantly, her eyes locked on the shifting Victoria.

"Well. That hurt," Victoria muttered, rubbing the back of her head, upside down with her legs resting against the tree trunk. There was a spider web of cracks all over her face, branching out from her crooked and crunched nose. Pieces of her white, porcelain skin were missing, as if someone had chipped a granite bust. Where there should have been puzzle pieces of white skin, there was grayish flesh.

Even as I looked over them in morbid fascination, the cracks began to slowly seal and the grayish wounds tried to morph with the rest of her skin, filling up to replace the lost armor of her skin.

"It's about to hurt a whole lot more," Rosalie snarled, fangs extended and bared as she stepped out of the forest, walking fast and straight towards Victoria.

"It's going to hurt _more_? Ah, you all really have changed since I've been gone. You weren't this strong before," Victoria sighed, seemingly unperturbed that she was about to get her head ripped off.

"Shut the hell up," Rosalie snapped but before she could reach Victoria, Emmett and Jasper held her back.

What? Why? She was finally about to get hers!

"What are you doing? Let go of me, you idiots!" Rosalie roared and I winced as she elbowed Emmett in the stomach, making him flinch and grasp on to her even tighter.

"In case you haven't noticed, now really isn't the time. While I strongly wish to drive my fist through this despicable woman's face, we are less than a mile from school grounds. Not only are people going to notice a huge fire and a screaming vampire, but they've probably already noticed the decimation of the vegetation in this vicinity, plus what sounds like animals having an all out war," Edward pointed out and Victoria laughed.

"Always the polite one, aren't you boy?" Victoria chuckled, flipping right side up and standing. She took hold of her nose and with a sickening snap and a slight wince, put it back in place. I was shocked, even for a vampire at how quickly she healed. Her skin looked almost flawless, except for the area around her nose, which still looked broken and shattered. Plus, there were three long, ugly lines across her left eye that looked strangely like claw marks.

"I'm not being polite. You are very fortunate that we aren't a little farther out, or I'd rip you in two myself and feed you to the wolves," Edward gave her a withering, menacing look.

"But of course…" Victoria shrugged as Rosalie exploded, violently trying to break free of Jasper and Emmett. Her motions agitated Alice, causing my girl to edge us backwards.

Her pheromones were starting to wear off as her desire to protect me overwhelmed her desire to fuck me senseless.

"I suggest you take your leave. Permanently. If we catch you here in Forks, or even within three states of Washington, you will _die_. No questions asked. And I suggest you hide back in the darkest depths from which you crawled from you wretched filth, because we will contact the Volturi to have you eliminated. For good this time," Edward growled and finished this threat with a roar that was echoed by each Cullen vampire, snarls that made me tense up and shift closer to Alice, even though her roar was the loudest and most pronounced.

"You better hope they get you before I do. You better hope and pray to whatever god or horned hairy devil you may worship that you are _dead_ before I get my hands on you," Alice promised, her voice ragged and filled with terrifying rage. I was astonished that she could speak at all.

"Is that why you're cowering behind your family, girl?" Victoria scoffed, not bothered at all.

"There will be no repeat of what happened here today. It'll be me, you, and the flames you burn alive in," Alice proclaimed and finished it with a powerful snarl. "You can hurt me all you want, but you made your mistake when you put your hands on my _mate_! For that you _will _die! No matter where you hide, no matter where you run, I will find you, and I will _slaughter_ you."

Alice went silent after that but shook violently. I couldn't help but put my hands on her shoulders, trying to relax her as she was so distressed. She jerked beneath my grip but didn't move away. We both knew it would eventually trigger her sexual pheromones, but we couldn't help it. We needed to be close in this hellish conflict, and Alice had no intention of pushing me away.

I silently vowed to myself that if Alice, for some reason failed, that I would finish Victoria for her. Somehow, some way, I'd off that bitch for what she'd done to my girl…This was deeper than the usual love connection; this was that deep, mysterious mate connection coming out to play…Alice was my mate. Victoria hurt my mate. Victoria has to die.

Rosalie shocked all of us by going limp in Emmett and Jasper's arms, laughing softly, a noise that made me squirm uncomfortably.

"I don't believe you know just what you've unleashed here today, wretch. Not even I would want to be on the side of Alice that you have so stupidly put yourself on," Rosalie sneered at her and Victoria only let out a soft chuckle.

"I can't honestly disagree with you. Ah, but if you wish to give me hell for something of which I have no control over, you are going to have to _work _for it. You'll find that three hundred years of experience gives one the impeccable ability to _survive_. So, if you want your revenge, you'll have to come and get it," Victoria announced, as she turned on her heel.

I couldn't believe we were just letting her go. After all that she'd done…

I wished she'd trip or fall as she began to leave, land right on her stupid face…

"But, remember this, Mary Alice Brandon. You owe me, a life for a life," Victoria called over her shoulder, and then disappeared into the forest, leaving us with only confused looks and burning hatred.

There was a moment of silence.

"We need to get home, _now_. If the Volturi still refuse to answer Carlisle's calls, I will personally fly to Italy and give them a kick in the ass. This is going too far," Edward said into the horrid silence that had overcome us.

I didn't want to talk to the Volturi.

I didn't want to fight vampires or try and figure out the meaning of everything Victoria said.

All I wanted was to take Alice home with me, curl up with her on my bed and hide away from the world with her. All I wanted was to go home and pretend like none of this had ever happened, minus Alice.

Too bad I never get what I want.


	15. Stop and Stare

It was a week later and I was with Alice, of course, reclining with her on her bed. We had her iPod playing music, all of which I liked. Not one song had come on that I hadn't heard or hadn't heard but liked instantly.

Things had calmed down a lot, well, compared to the week before.

After Victoria had left, Edward took control of the situation. He called Rosalie to come with him to go talk to Carlisle, got Emmett to take me home and after several long minutes of trying to convince Alice to let go of me, got her and Jasper to go hunting.

Carlisle had finally managed to get in contact with the Volturi two days after that, who had promptly responded by saying they would call back soon because the trouble in their city was finally winding down. It didn't matter much now that Victoria had been run off, but the Cullens wanted this problem fixed permanently. Even if we hadn't seen or heard from Victoria since then, nobody was taking chances.

All we had to do was wait for the Volturi to reply...

Alice wasn't as uptight as I'd expected, more so she was just kind of pissed off looking. After awhile of being with me though, maybe a day or two, it stopped and she acted more like her happy, chipper self that I loved…I think she was just trying to forget about it, trying not to dwell on it. We'd spent almost all of our time together, getting closer in the aftermath of the hellish event. She may have been more shaken up than she was letting on, but my girl was strong.

From the very start of our relationship, we'd had problems, mostly Victoria and our own mistakes. We'd had to deal with her, had to get around the obstacles before we'd even begun. Alice and I had talked about it and she said that really pissed her off, that as soon as she got me after waiting for so long, she had to fight like hell to keep me. So, we cherished every moment together.

Alice also apoligized for the way in which she'd made it clear she was interested. She said she'd never intended to maul me in detention, but I told her the amount of dates she'd taken me on to fancy resteraunts and even a wonderful picnic to the waterfall I'd chased her to more than made up for the...improper courting.

Yeah, we'd had a lot of official dates in that past week, trying to get our minds off of everything and just _be_ together, for real for once. Victoria was finally out of the picture, at least a little and now, it was just me and Alice.

I was loving it, too.

I hadn't been able to stay away from Alice, and it was the weekend, so Charlie was only happy to let me go be with a friend. We had talked once and he'd told me how great he thought the change was in me. I had been confused, but he'd told me that these friends I'd made were making me a much happier, more outgoing person in his eyes.

And it was true. If I wasn't with Alice, which was rare, or hell, sometimes even when I was with Alice, I would be hanging with Angela, Jessica, Mike and Eric. I went out a lot more, even if it was just to chill with them.

So life…Life was different.

Okay, that's a huge freaking understatement, but still. It was true.

Two months ago, I'd have never been able to imagine that I'd be with _Alice Cullen_. Or rather, Mary Alice Brandon. She'd just been one of those popular, untouchable girls that I fantasized about, wished I had her confidence, her glow…She'd also been a slut, but as it turns out, everything I thought I knew about her wasn't true…

"What are you thinking about?" Alice murmured as I leaned against her, my head resting against her shoulder and her chin tucked over my own shoulder. She nuzzled my cheek gently; the vampire way of saying she wanted my attention.

I had quickly come to love all her little vampire actions.

Okay, well, most of them. I think it's kind of obvious which ones we could do without…

She was extremely affectionate, and Carlisle said most vampires were. Alice, however, was one of the _more_ affectionate ones, and I liked it. She loved to cuddle and be close to me, and not just out of lust. She just loved showing me how much she loved me.

"You, _duh_," I grinned, turning my head to her and brushing our noses together. She smirked and we held gazes, going into a stare off.

We did that sometimes. I never won, but it still left us giggling like mad.

Yeah, I used to think stuff like that was sickeningly sweet, but I couldn't deny the way my heart would flutter and the dragons Alice produced in my stomach would roar in joy.

"You won't win. I don't know why you bother," Alice mumbled, never blinking.

"Maybe I just like looking into your eyes," I bit my lip, and vaguely watched her smile deepen.

"You can't sweet talk your way out of this," Alice laughed and I shrugged, refusing to give in.

"Worth a shot," I replied, my eyes beginning to water from not blinking and just how comical she looked with her wide, golden eyes staring into mine, swirling with love and mischief.

My eyes couldn't take it though and after another full thirty seconds, I blinked and she smirked.

"I win!" she cried triumphantly as if it was something new and I rolled my sore eyes.

"Whatever," I shook my head but couldn't stop the little grin on my face.

"Ooh, I love this song!" she squealed suddenly as the song changed, flipping to an alternative/punk rock kind of thing. She had a huge variety of music on her iPod, and I loved pretty much all of it except the country and the rap. She didn't have a lot of those, though. She did, however, listen to screamo as well as Beethoven, which boggled my mind.

I'd never thought Alice to be a head banger kind of girl, but she was showing me just how much she really was as she released me, rolled off the bed and began to seriously rock out.

I was torn between staring at her like she was crazy or laughing.

And then she started singing.

I couldn't believe she was actually singing, but despite the pitch of her voice coupled with the harder music, she didn't sound bad. I ended up picking laughing as she jumped up and down with the music, singing along and smiling back at me like mad. She looked almost ridiculous, absolutely cute, and she just looked plain cool, rocking out like she was with her messy, short black hair. She totally looked punk to me in that moment; no matter how preppy I used to think she was.

Alice was just so good at surprising me. Esme was so right…I really didn't know her at all. But I planned to change that...

Alice didn't look like she was going to stop till the song ended. She was so freaking random, so different than I had previously assumed. As the song ended and so did her head banging, she collapsed backward, falling over onto the carpet and grinning up at me like crazy.

There was a pause as the song changed to something softer, something more acoustic.

I leaned over the bed and looked down at her, my own smile refusing to lessen in its intensity.

"You. Are so. _Weird_," I laughed and she smirked back up at me.

"Look who's talking," she snickered back and I rolled my eyes.

"You're lucky you're you. If that had been anyone else, I'd have just walked right out of here," I shook my head, amazed and totally in love with this girl.

"I'll take that as a compliment then," Alice's eyes sparkled as she sat up, her face close to mine as I leaned over the bed and looked down at her.

"What was that song anyway?" I asked, actually curious. It had been good, even better with Alice's performance.

"That was _Homesick_ by A Day to Remember, an amazing band, by the way," Alice told me, moving closer to me and laying her head on the bed next to mine. I rested my cheek against hers and felt her slow breaths caressing my ear, making me shiver.

"They're good. All of your music is good. Including this song…" I murmured, feeling the cool of her skin against my own and her right hand came up to play with my hair as she remained on the floor. Her bed was kind of low, so it was rather easy for us to be in this position, her cross legged on the floor and me on my stomach. Our mouths were right at each other's ears.

"This song reminds me of you so much…It's one of my favorites just because of that…" Alice whispered back, lightly running her fingers over my scalp and making my eyes droop. She began to sing again, her voice sweet and soft in my ear as our pace and mood suddenly changed to something gentler, something more emotional.

"_I want to break every clock, the hands of time could never move again...We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives..." _My breath caught in my throat. She sounded so beautiful...

_"I want to be your last first kiss, that you'll ever have, I want to be your last first kiss..._" She sang softly in my ear, and my whole world tuned itself into her voice and the lyrics she breathed out.

My heartbeat stumbled and my breaths quickened as she serenaded me. She made me feel so alive, just by singing to me, her beautiful voice lighting me up as she gently stroked my hair and let her lips lightly brush against the shell of my ear with each movement they made…

I had never met anyone as amazing, as wonderful as Alice…

_"I want to be your last first kiss, for all time_…"

The song ended and the lyrics were left swirling inside me. I could understand why Alice said it reminded me of her. My heartbeat was pounding, my throat felt tight with emotion and I pulled back, lifting up a little so that I could look at her properly. She went on her knees and leaned up with me, letting her other hand come up to slowly drag through my hair, until they both rested on my cheeks, cupping my face. The motions were tender, and I felt my heart swell for Alice.

"What was that one?" My voice was breathier than I had expected it to be.

"_Inevitable_ by Anberlin. It says how I feel about you in the simplest but most passionate of ways. That, coupled with the music invokes my deepest emotions for you, Bella…The longing, the love," Alice said in a soft voice, her hands dropping slowly, dragging down my neck, brushing over my collarbone before they fell to her sides. The movements caused my eyes to flutter and my breathing to quicken again.

"Come here," I whispered, leaning back and cupping her face, tugging her after me. She followed without protest and we both captured each other's lips, meeting halfway. I couldn't help the slight moan, just because it was Alice…

I had never felt so incredible, so alive…It was always Alice that made my heartbeat trip, made the dragons spread their wings and roar, made my skin tingle from her maddeningly delicious touch…

The venom probably helped but I digress…

I lay back and pulled her on top of me, my hands going to her waist and squeezing her hips as she melted into me. Her lips were magic, her tongue flexible and _good_ as it twisted with mine. We both moaned as she began to suck gently on my own tongue and straddled my waist.

My chest and stomach felt warm, my head light. I was no longer shy or nervous when we kissed, but sure and confident enough to respond with just as much, if not more vigor than Alice. Kissing Alice had happened so often that it was easy and natural for me now. We swirled tongues as my head whirled, her name repeating itself over and over in my mind…

Alice, Alice, Alice…

I couldn't seem to get enough of her. I loved her so much, couldn't fathom the idea of losing her and refused to let my thoughts go down that road, and wanted nothing more in the world than to just be with her…

Time, that's all we'd needed...

From the get-go we'd had such a shaky relationship, and her approach to it was much less than proper, but I couldn't find it in myself to give a damn, as long as we were together in the end, I didn't care how it happened…

"Alice," I breathed, moaning as she ducked her head and purred, her chest vibrating against mine while her lips pressed to my pulse point.

I had grown accustomed to the constant hickeys she left me. It was her way of marking me, telling everyone that I belonged to her. It should have bothered me, but it couldn't, not when I was slowly beginning to copy cat her possessive nature. It had started happening slowly, over the course of our time together; I'd grown to become even more jealous of anyone that even looked like they were thinking about Alice.

Don't ask me how they can look like that, but sometimes, I just get a vibe.

Or maybe I'm just insane with jealousy.

Either is likely.

One more likely than the other, but I find that to be irrelevant at this point…

"Bella," she mocked but not in a disrespectful way, her mouth slowly working over my flesh, kissing, nipping and sucking that one tender spot relentlessly, causing me to whimper and run my hands under her shirt, letting my fingers caress over her sensitive back.

I'd discovered it to be a weak spot for her; something to do with her being a vampire, but her back was extremely vulnerable to my touch. When I rubbed the smooth, cool skin, she moaned and shivered, pushing her whole body down into me.

We'd progressed to light petting in our kissing, touching skin but never going any father than that.

Why not?

Why, really, did I continue to tense and pull away, nervous and afraid of what would happen if we went any father than that? What was this stupid, illogical reason that made me fear letting Alice have that one last part of me?

Because let's face it, she's got my heart and my soul now. Victoria, without realizing it had only strengthened our connection, had made me realize just how much I cared for my pixie, my Alice…I'd been willing to die, to kill for her…

All Alice doesn't have of me is my body, and the only reason I didn't give it to her…

Was because I was afraid she'd just give my heart and soul right back.

It was idiotic, I know. But I couldn't help it. Cliché virgin fears kept us apart, but I'd never…never done anything like that.

I'd imagined it, sure.

Actually doing it was different though…

Alice was everything in my life now. She'd exploded onto my scene, shook me up and then dug her heels in, refusing to go unless I told her to. I wouldn't, no chance in hell. She'd taken my life and turned it upside down, and within months had me heels over head in love with her…

And don't correct me on that, because let's face it, nothing ever makes sense in this new world she's opened my eyes to. I wasn't head over heels for her, that would be just too simple.

As long as I had Alice though, it didn't bother me.

That past week had only strengthened my love for her, our connection even more. As far as waiting and getting to know each other before having sex, we'd certainly been doing _a lot _of that lately...Without anything between us, no Victoria, no dumb mistakes, I'd become so infatuated with her that I could barely think straight.

Of course, if we're going to make a pun, thinking _straight_ had never been my strong suit...

Anyway.

So, if I could realize all of this, understand just how much she meant to me and how much I obviously meant to her, what the hell was holding me back?

_Nothing_.

My breath caught as Alice's lips morphed against my own once more and I lightly scraped my nails over her back, causing her to arch and gasp into my mouth.

"Alice," I whispered between each hungry, loving kiss.

"Yes?" Alice managed, her voice taking on that delightful raspy quality it always did when we touched like this.

"I'm ready!" I blurted and then pressed my lips together.

I really, really need to work on that.

She paused, breathing hard, or rather, breathing like a human would normally, because her normal breathing was about as fast as a human's would be when they were sleeping.

It was faster, that's the point.

Her eyes were a gorgeous, dark gold, like liquid amber. Her swollen, heart shaped lips parted and she tilted her head, adorable, sexy and just plain beautiful with her slightly messy hair just a little more roughed up than usual…

And to top it all off, night had set in, and the moonlight shone through the window, setting her skin glowing and shimmering like milky white waves, her dark hair and eyes creating a brilliant contrast. The sight took my breath away. It only reaffirmed my desire to go through with this…

"What?" Alice frowned, her hands on either side of my head.

"God, you're so beautiful," I whispered without meaning to, stroking the hypersensitive skin of her back with my palms flat, causing her to whimper and close her eyes as her arms trembled weakly.

Oops, I hadn't meant to do that.

"W-what? What do you mean, you're_ ready_?" Alice squirmed and I forced myself to stop feeling the soft but so firm flesh so she could focus. She had enough trouble, even with her control, trying to talk to me when we were like this. I didn't miss her soft protesting whine though, low as it was…

"I think…I think you know what I mean," I said, letting our eyes lock again. Hers widened, but just like before, we held gazes, daring the other to look away. This time, no matter how nervous I was, no matter how much I wanted to fall apart beneath her, I couldn't lose this stare off.

I couldn't look away first, because that would mean I was doubting myself and by God, I was; I couldn't help that, I'd never done this before, but it wasn't enough to change my mind, so I couldn't let her think that it was like that.

"What? Bella…" Alice gasped, blinking rapidly, finally understanding me.

I swallowed hard and nodded as she pulled back to look down at me fully.

"You're serious? Why now? Look, you don't have to do this. Did I pressure you or something? I mean-" Alice started to babble and I scowled up at her, leaning up with her in my lap to kiss her firmly.

"No, _no_! Look at me, Alice. _Look_ at me. I _want_ this. I know I was giving you mixed signals and I'm sorry. But yesterday kicked some sense into me, made me think about us, all of the things we'd been through together…There is no one I would be with than you. I love you, and I want you. I want you to have all of me," I confessed, pouring my heart into it.

I couldn't bail out now and I didn't want to.

I was going in headfirst and I refused to look back. I'd just have to learn to trust Alice to have my back.

"Bella," Alice started but I cut her off with another kiss.

"Don't. Look, you aren't making me do anything that I don't want to do. The only reason I…I haven't done this with you before is because for some irrational, stupid reason…I thought you might not want me afterwards…" I told her honestly and was shocked at the sudden harsh glare she gave me.

"_What_? After all of this, after everything we've been through, you seriously thought that all I wanted was to get in your _pants_? You're _serious_? I don't think you realize how offensive that really is," Alice hissed, wrapping her fingers around my wrists as my hands had come up to cup her face.

"I know, I know. That's what I'm trying to tell you! I realized it, when I saw you, broken and terrified the other day, I finally understood this, at least enough to know that I was being stupid, more than usual. I love you so much, and I know you love me too if you'd go through that to protect me. I just couldn't help it. Give me a little slack, please…This is all so new to me, okay?" I begged, trying to erase the angry look on her face. She softened quickly, nodding her head.

"I'm sorry; I just…Don't ever doubt what I feel for you, not for a second…" Alice whispered, and then we both went quiet for a moment.

"Look…I just want you to be sure…I don't want to feel like I'm taking something you're not willing to give. I'd go forever without being with you that way, if that's what you wanted. All I care about is knowing I have your heart," Alice said, and I nodded my head, swallowing again.

Well, that was going a bit too far. Never having sex with Alice was most certainly _not_ what I wanted…

"Trust me. I've thought about this a lot, you _know_ I have. And I think…No, I _know_ I'm ready to be with you like that…All I needed to know is that you'd still…Still care afterwards," I murmured and Alice's lips tightened.

"I will _always_ care._ Forever_. I will never stop caring for you, Bella," Alice swore, our eyes still locked.

After a slow pause, we both leaned in and kissed, cool and warm, sweet and strong. It was brief, but meaningful, and it made me tremble slightly.

So this was for real this time…

"You're really sure?" Alice couldn't help but add and I nodded again. There were no more doubts within me. "You're really, really sure? No doubt?" she repeated and I rolled my eyes.

"_Yes_, Alice."

"Like, completely, _absolutely_-"

"Alice! I'm _sure_!" I interuppted quickly and she bit her lip. She seemed to deliberate for a long time before speaking again.

"I promised you that I would bring you the stars, didn't I? Well, I changed my mind. If you're for real about this, if you really are ready, I want you to let me take _you_ to _them_, and I want you to let me take you _higher_, higher than you've ever been, so I can make you burn brighter, stronger, more beautiful than any star I could ever bring you," Alice whispered, and my heartbeat raced, pummeling my chest in excitement, so much that it almost hurt, but in a good way…

"I want you to feel like I do, as incredible as you make me feel," Alice continued in a soft voice, her words making me feel so amazing as she slowly trailed her lips over my neck, dropping butterfly kisses along my jaw line before she brushed her mouth against my lips.

"You just have to…let me," she breathed out, and I closed my eyes as I felt her fingertips gently slip beneath my shirt and my throat close in excitement, in love and affection and trust for her…

"Okay?" Her sweet breath flowed against my mouth and we both paused, going still as we awaited my answer, my confirmation that I was sure about this, sudden as it was.

I turned to her, let our emotions play across the space between us and mix together, let my thoughts swirl in to one and breathed in deeply before I opened my mouth to reply…


	16. First Time For Everything

"Okay," I squeaked out and Alice's breath hitched slightly.

"Okay…" she whispered, and then slowly leaned forward, giving me one last chance to back out or change my mind. I didn't, and then her she was pressing her lips firmly against mine. I whimpered, I couldn't help it; I was so high strung and excited. I was panicked, on a rush, trembling as she cupped the back of my neck in a strong but tender grip and led us back down to her bed.

It was incredible and we hadn't even started yet.

"Relax. It's okay, Bella. I've got you," Alice breathed, easing down on top of me and letting her lips brush against mine as she spoke. I shivered and nodded, and despite the fact that her lips and breath were so cool, she was heating me up as her smoldering amber gaze bore into my eyes, speaking silent volumes.

We kissed, tongues dueling as she pressed down into me, molding herself against me in the perfect fit. I let my arms fold around her, pulling her closer as she settled her waist between my legs. I felt her gently teething my bottom lip before kissing it warmly. The resulting moan I gave her caused her to purr and rock slowly against me, and in her position, it only caused me to moan again.

It was a chain reaction, setting us both off. With my nerves and dragons going into a frenzy, I pulled her closer while she thumbed my pulse point, stroking it softly while her sweet lips stayed locked on mine. The heat was building swiftly inside me, running through my veins to settle and throb between my thighs while my racing heartbeat only kept it going.

My head whirled, my body shook but she was always up against me, whispering soothing words.

This is it. It's really, really happening. I'm about to have sex. With Alice.

Oh, God.

"Alice," I gasped as her cold hands slid under the ridiculously small, navy blue shirt of hers that I was wearing and caressed my stomach, making the muscles tighten gently.

"I'm here," she murmured into my ear, kissing the spot beneath it hungrily but lovingly, letting her tongue slide over it. I blushed like mad and let my hands rest on her shoulders for a moment, breathing hard. She paused, pulling back, lightly scratching my abdomen as she did and making me shiver, the goose bumps rising.

Her ebony eyes were swirling and her nostrils were flared slightly. I know she could smell me, smell how wet I'd become from our kissing, and it excited me to no end. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, first time jitters making my hands tremble.

"Bella…" she whispered, her voice raspy and like liquid honey, and I could feel the slight, delicious feel of pheromones in the air, and I knew she was trying to keep a hold over them.

But I didn't want that. I didn't want her holding back, didn't want her trying to go slow and easy when we both wanted something more, something hotter, fierier than that.

I know we both wanted something as deep, as powerful, as raw and passionate as what we had together.

First time be damned, she couldn't hurt me by going too fast, she was a _girl_. Her control was superb, and I trusted her.

"I don't want you to hold back," I said, my hands clutching her shoulders tightly. My voice shook but I was firm, despite the breathy quality it had taken on.

"Bella…" Alice mumbled, her lips thinning slightly as I squeezed her sides with my knees, making her eyes darken, if that was possible.

"No. I know this is my first time, but the whole point of this is so we can have all of each other and I'm not getting that if you're so worried that I'm going to break at any second," I went on, refusing to let her conscience get in the way.

She bit her lip as I continued in a stronger voice.

"And I _will_ break, but I _want_ you to break me. As long as you put me back together again, it's okay. I want to be with you, _all _of you, Alice. I love you, so give me everything you've got. Let your pheromones out. I trust you," I encouraged her, kissing the corners of her lips softly.

Alice paused and then nodded slowly. There was a moment of brief silence and then I let out a startled squeak of pleasure as slick, hot pheromones slid over me, sliding around me, over me, into me…

Alice's whole body pulled taut and she let out a low rumble of satisfaction, as if an invisible weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. I was soaking now, panting and letting my head rest against the pillows as my body reacted to her.

It was nothing like Victoria's pheromones. Alice's pheromones felt like an old, playful friend and I didn't feel violated at all. Whereas Victoria's pheromones were an endless onslaught of pleasure too intense to feel good, Alice's were a gentle coaxing, a hot, silk coating of my outsides and insides, burning me up.

My guttural moan caused Alice to let loose a low growl, but I only wrapped my arms around her neck as she turned to a more primal, instinctive side of herself.

"Bella," Alice rasped out, her fangs peeking out of her gums now, and I don't know why, but they looked so _sexy_ to me in that moment. Alice looked delicious…Her whole body coated in moonlight…Just looking at her made me feel great, made my skin heat up and my muscles tense with longing.

"It's okay," I managed, my voice tight now that she had let loose her pheromones. "Come on," I breathed, leaning up and feeling her stiff body relax as I locked lips with her again.

I had, quite literally, unleashed the beast within Alice. The pheromones changed the equation entirely, and I couldn't find it in myself to feel upset about it.

I was too busy enjoying the feel of it.

Alice snarled and pushed into me a lot more aggressively then, allowing nature to take over, letting her hands roam over my body shamelessly. I whimpered, writhing beneath her as she latched onto my neck, kissing and sucking hard, pulling all sorts of ungodly noises from me.

She was still nestled firmly between my legs, and her slow rocking turned into a hard grinding, her hips working into me and causing me to gasp sharply.

"Is this too much? God, I'm trying to go slow for you Bella but you smell _so_ good. It's so much harder like this, when I can feel your chest heaving, can smell you, so hot, so wet for me," Alice groaned between hot, luscious kisses, her tongue swirling and twisting against mine, deftly keeping it away from her fangs. We may have solved the lust issue a bit, but the blood lust?

That was an entirely different matter, and me even pricking my tongue on those sharp, gleaming fangs could turn this precious moment into something horrible.

Yet, Alice's words lit the firecrackers in my stomach, causing me to shudder and my breathing to accelerate.

"It's okay," I assured her, and I meant it.

"Is it? Is it really?" Alice rumbled out, her hands clutching my shirt as she undulated her hips into me.

I could barely form a rational thought at that moment, let alone have a conversation with her. All my thoughts had turned into a puddle of heat, pheromones and hormones. I was focused on nothing but the feel of her and the ache at the apex of my thighs.

"I'm supposed to be taking this slow, not ravaging you. But I just can't help it," Alice whimpered, and my _god_, I almost exploded as she tilted my head back, and dragged her tongue over the length of my throat, from my collarbone all the way up to my chin where she nipped me lightly, affectionately.

"I'm trying, so _hard_…I want you to be able to _savor_ this," Alice whispered, her hands still not moving but her mouth still working over my neck and making all rational thought flee from my mind.

I was technically high for all intensive purposes. I squirmed, frustrated with the pace, frustrated that her hands weren't moving and her swollen, frustrated that her heart shaped lips weren't against my own…

"Alice," I mumbled, lifting my head slightly to catch her eyes. "Alice, it's okay. It's _okay_," I promised, scratching gently up her spine, causing her eyes to narrow and her lips to part in a delighted hiss.

Mm, I almost forgot what I was going to say at that.

After a moment to get my bearings again, I spoke.

"I told you that I trust you. Look, I don't want to take this slow, and I don't want it to end so quickly. I know you. I know how good you are at everything. I trust that you can find that happy medium," I could feel her twisting against me, hungry and wanting but so desperate not to ruin everything.

Oh, but I really wanted that happy medium, that _really_ happy medium at that point. I was sopping wet, soaking my underwear, desperate for her to just shut up and touch me.

We were both staring at each other hard, excited and frustrated. I hadn't expected this to be perfect. I'd expected some kind of hitch. I mean, it was my first time. But still, damn it, I was horny, I loved her and there was no reason to pussyfoot out of this.

I wanted her, and that was that. I didn't want her to hesitate with me.

Alice slowly nodded and then closed her eyes for a bit longer than the standard blink. When they opened, I could clearly see the promise in them.

I moaned and arched into her as she renewed her pace, no longer hesitating. Her lips were cool and strong against mine, her hands pushed against my shirt, lifting it and I leaned up to help her.

"I love you," she mumbled into my ear and I was startled as she snapped my bra off with the shirt as she went. My breath hitched and I couldn't help but tense up.

No one had ever seen me naked besides when I was five and my Mom bathed me.

She solved the problem by leaning back and slipping off her own shirt, and then to my delight and surprise, she shrugged out of her shorts and underwear.

Alice was an angel.

There was no doubt in my mind. Her body was perfection incarnate, with her breasts round and just the right size to match her body, her sculpted but softly defined muscles and the...the area between her legs that I could barely let my eyes linger on to long lest I melt into a puddle of liquid heat. She barely gave me any time to appreciate her body before she leaned down and tugged my shorts and underwear off at the same time, impatient and eager to be back against me again.

I could do nothing but lift my hips to let her pull the clothing off and turn twenty shades of red.

Despite this, we weren't rushing, because even though I felt frenzied, anxious to never stop, she still took her time to gaze at my entire body and then my chest, pull my arms out of the way and whisper how beautiful she thought I was to destroy my embarrassment before she cupped my breasts and squeezed, making my entire body flush as her cool palms made my nipples tighten and my feverish skin feel incredible.

My eyes rolled back as she held me close, fondling me and kissing me constantly, her mouth always moving. I moaned loudly, clinging to her as she tweaked my nipples, and slowly began to slide downwards.

"Is this fast enough, or too slow? Talk to me, Bells…" Alice whispered and I suddenly caught on to the slight taunt in her voice, the loving tease as I couldn't control myself or my reactions.

I swallowed, blushing hard. When Alice talked, Bella melted. It was inevitable. Her voice was suave and brought out all kinds of reactions in me, especially with what she said.

"Faster," I whimpered.

"Faster? Are you sure…?" Alice was smirking against my skin, her inhibitions apparently, finally gone.

"Yes," I gasped, my face flushing in embarrassment and arousal.

The first real, intimate contact almost made me fall apart, but I hung on with a death grip to her shoulders, literally, because I knew I couldn't hurt her as I dug my nails into her shoulders and felt my body tense in delight.

Her lips wrapped around my hard nub, sucking hard and slow as her tongue managed to simultaneously paint circles around it. I opened my mouth and cried out softly, causing her to release a hungry purr and wrap one arm around my back, lifting me closer as she suckled and fondled both of my breasts, giving them equal attention. Her purring only caused minute vibrations that had me gasping and whimpering for more.

I was on fire, trying not to let my whirling thoughts overwhelm the intense pleasure I was getting. I don't know if it was pheromones, or if it was just because it was _Alice_, but all of her touches, her kisses made my body tingle, with or without her venom.

And by the way, the sensation of her venom coating my nipples drove me up the wall. That, combined with her wonderful purring had me going so badly that I almost couldn't take it. I arched my back and held on to the back of her neck, encouraging her with soft whimpers and pleas for her not to stop.

I had never imagined that I would be this noisy during sex, but I was. I writhed and bucked my hips as she sent jolts of pleasure straight to my throbbing clit and I moaned unabashedly.

Minus the incredible feelings she was invoking in my body, my heart kept swelling with the tiny gestures or motions she made, the soft, affectionate kisses between the hard, lusting ones, the mumbled, almost inaudible I love you's she breathed out against my skin…

I thought my chest would burst, and wondered which would break first. My heart with all the love she was pouring into me, overflowing me with, or the dam between my legs that she kept getting wetter and slicker and hotter…

I squirmed beneath her as another minute or two went by, though it felt like hours of her sucking and squeezing my breasts.

Foreplay had never interested me before. I'd always rushed straight to orgasm and only warmed myself up with naughty thoughts. Alice?

She definitely changed that.

I almost couldn't bring myself to ask her for more, because I couldn't imagine the intense pleasure of the combination of her mouth and pheromones getting any better, but the ache between my legs was becoming almost unbearable. I was overheating, and I felt like I was going to explode.

Our first kiss was nothing compared to this.

What happened in detention failed in every aspect compared to being with Alice like this, hearts on our sleeves, her body flush against mine and her mouth working me over with loving attention, varying between rough and gentle to drive me crazy, wanting more.

"Alice, please," I moaned as she switched breasts yet again, my nipples so swollen and sensitive that it almost hurt as she took it into her mouth again, relentlessly bathing it with her tongue.

"What is it, Bells? What do you want?" Alice's voice was so provocative to me, everything about her felt amazing as her pheromones slipped over my skin and caressed all of my nerves, lighting me on fire. Her voice was strained and I was so proud of her, so in love with her for how good she'd become for me.

She'd practiced to get good enough to be able to do this for me, and I know it was hard for her, but she was so incredible at everything and I fell so much more in love with her with every passing second…

"I can't," I whimpered, and blushed like mad as I tried to form a proper sentence in the thick, lusting fog that was clouding my brain. We were both breathing hard as she lifted her head and her stormy black eyes rested on mine.

"Can't what? What is it, Bells? Tell me," Alice coaxed, her husky, honey voice making it even harder to concentrate.

I was so worked up, unfathomably embarrassed about it, but so delighted by it too…Alice was so phenomenal at making me _feel _that I could barely comprehend anything besides the words and thoughts Alice, fuck, and love at that moment.

"Touch me," I pleaded softly, my voice small and slightly desperate. The air had become thicker, hotter as time had passed and my eyes were so lidded that they were almost closed.

Everything felt amazing; her breath on my hypersensitive skin, the air brushing over my swollen sex, and hell, even the abstract feel of moonlight pouring over me had me writhing with excitement.

"I _am_ touching you, silly," Alice teased gently and I let out a frustrated whine, and Alice's chest rumbled at the noise, her smirk faltering slightly.

I couldn't believe she was teasing me like that at that crucial time.

"P-please, don't do this right now. I n-need you, Alice," I begged, almost wanting to cry in frustration and desire.

Now was so not the time to turn into a tease, pixie.

Alice swallowed and seemed to understand what I was going through, then nodded slowly, letting her lips gently brush between my breasts before she began an agonizingly slow descent down my body, kissing and licking the whole way as her hands kneaded and groped my thighs.

When her lips reached the slight, hairless rise that signaled what she was approaching, she glanced up at me, fangs dipped low, eyes liquid ebony and filled with love, lust and something unidentifiably more primal, a devastatingly powerful mix of the two.

I knew what she wanted to hear, and I was more than happy and willing to tell her.

"I love you," I whispered and the corners of her lips upturned ever so slightly and then she was _there_.

I threw my head back and clutched the silky, dark blue sheets in my hands so hard that my knuckles turned white. My eyes widened and shone with the milky moonlight as her tongue pressed the whole length of my aching sex before beginning a slow, firm slide up my entire length.

I'm not ashamed to say I cried. I bucked my hips and let the tears of pure ecstasy fall, and loved that I loved Alice enough to be this vulnerable to her. And even if her astoundingly delicious pheromones weren't all over me, inside me, burning me up, and even if her venom wasn't coating my most intimate area in a breath taking tingle, and even if her silky, cool tongue soothing the intense heat as it slid between my sopping folds wasn't there…

I'd have cried because of the tight waves of emotion constricting my chest.

I'd have cried because I loved her so damn much in that moment as she touched me in my most private area and made me feel so brilliantly _alive_.

I knew the mate connection probably had something to do with why this was so intense, and why my emotions were all over the place, but I didn't care.

"Alice," I choked out as she lapped at my slit, stroking with her lithe, flexible tongue and made my hips buck with each firm yet gentle flick of her tongue at my clit.

It felt so_ good_…

And then she wrapped her lips around my button and began to suck, and pulled the most desperate, hungry cry from me yet. I was no longer capable of thought, I was only overwhelmed by intense, animalistic pleasure, love and need as she rumbled violently, delightedly at the noise. I moaned loudly, desperate for something to ground myself as I tentatively threaded my fingers through her soft, dark, onyx locks, tugging lightly, cupping the back of her head in a pitiful attempt to keep her right where she was.

I kept repeating her name, and could hear her mumbling words around my aching nub that sounded suspiciously like I love you over and over.

And then I felt her fingers dancing up my wet, hot slit, before they plunged inside, not too hard but not too slow. My sex turned to liquid fire with every powerful stroke of her fingers and I couldn't stop crying out for more, moaning and bucking my hips forward.

I was still crying, still overwhelmed by it all.

Alice's other hand slid over my stomach and grasped at my right hand, the one not tangled in her silky hair. It nearly broke my heart as she held onto it tightly, speaking volumes that made me ache in the emotional way while she took care of the physical ache…

It didn't take long, though it felt like forever as the intense pleasure began to tighten harder inside my stomach, the knot twisting, the swell pushing and building and fighting to explode, to _release_…

And then, with the light scrape of her teeth over the smooth skin of my clit, one last flick of her tongue and curl of her fingers, I came. I arched up and away, wailing her name and curling my toes, my mouth wide open and my hands clutching desperately at the sheets.

And she was by me too, her lips morphed against my own, my tongue pushing as far into her mouth as I could go as the pure ecstasy, the _mind blowing _ecstasy of pheromones and her touch, my Alice overcame me in wave after wave.

"Alice!" I gasped as my orgasm _changed_.

"Bella!" Alice cried back and I assumed she could feel it too, her hips grinding into me as she pressed herself down onto my thigh, bucking hard.

It wasn't your average earth shattering orgasm, no matter how not average we were in general. It was something raw, powerful and _unheard of_. I didn't know what it was, all I knew was that I _loved_ it.

Cliché but insanely fitting here, a white light exploded in the back of my skull and my eyes were filled with it and it felt so godly, so amazingly awesome, so perfect as pure bliss settled over me.

I don't know if I even breathed in those precious sixty seconds that I felt like I was literally one with Alice in this blinding whiteness, something deep and something unknown but so incredible pulling from within us, blanketing us in the epitome of perfection. All I felt was good, all I felt was Alice pressed against me as we floated in the light…There was nothing but me, her and whatever was happening keeping us locked together.

It was pure, unalduterated bliss.

Slowly, I came back to earth in a dizzying rush, reality pouring back in.

We broke apart and our words were exactly the same.

"Holy shit!" we cried and I gasped for breath, my chest heaving, because apparently, no, my stupid self didn't see it fit to keep breathing. Alice was shaking and I was trembling, but we were pressed together after the mind boggling orgasm, trip to heaven (?) kind of deal that had just happened.

For a long moment, we just lay there, catching our breath.

"So…Are you really just _that _good?" I giggled, feeling so fucking awesome in this afterglow, bathing in the cool feel of her skin on my own as she collapsed on top of me. I was covered in sweat and all my muscles felt like liquid. I had never been so relaxed, never been so convinced that everything was right in the world, despite how weird it was.

It was astonishingly trippy, but I didn't care. I felt _great_ and I didn't care about anything but snuggling closer to Alice. That, actually, was probably because of whatever the hell just happened, but like I said…

Alice laughed fully, apparently feeling these effects too.

"No, and I have no idea what that was but it was _sweet_!" she grinned like mad, her gleaming smile mirroring my own.

"I think we should be a little more freaked out," I pointed out but we caught eyes and to my astonishment, they were a gorgeous butterscotch.

"I can't seem to get freaked out right now. You know, I don't even care. If life wants to hand out unrealistically good orgasms and free trips to heaven, then who are we to question it?" Alice giggled, burying her face in my neck.

My mind was mush, nothing but pleasure and Alice. The spot between my legs felt utterly _satisfied_.

"On second thought, we should probably ask Carlisle about that later…" Alice breathed and I could hear how exhausted she suddenly sounded. It made me realize how tired and weak I felt, even if I felt incredibly good too.

"True…" I yawned and felt her rubbing against me lightly, purring warmly as she nuzzled the spot beneath my ear and my whole body felt warm and fuzzy.

"We can freak out later…" Alice mumbled softly into my shoulder.

"Yeah…Let's just enjoy it for now," I replied in a weak, fading voice.

Honestly, we didn't have the strength to even say what the fuck at that moment. We were both laying side by side, basking in each other. My heart was beating with joy, and the dragons were settled down, comfortable and overjoyed by Alice at that moment. Whatever it was, I really didn't think it could have been so bad considering what it was doing to us right then.

"Was it okay, though? Did I make your first time right?" Alice murmured as my eyes closed rapidly, feeling heavy.

"Are you kidding?" I yawned again, rolling over and wrapping my arms around her as sleep began to cloud over my exhausted mind and body. "That was awesome…Was _I_ okay?"

"You were perfect," Alice whispered, her cool lips brushing lightly over my forehead as we both snuggled closer, fading fast.

"I didn't even get to touch you back," I protested weakly.

"Doesn't matter. Your pleasure was mine, too," Alice shrugged it off. It didn't surprise me that she'd gotten off too, and while riding my thigh. Whatever, I planned on paying her back as soon as I could move...I was still eager to touch her perfect body and cherish it like she'd cherished mine.

"I love you, Bella," she added softly after a moment as the dark, comforting pull of sleep began to fall over me.

"I love you, too, Alice," I mumbled back and then the blackness overwhelmed me and I passed out, curled up with my beautiful vampire and feeling on top of the world.

My last thought before I was completely gone was _vampires don't sleep_ as Alice's breathing slowed dramatically and she relaxed deeply against me.

Ah, well.

Obviously, there's a first time for everything.


	17. Gray Areas

I woke to the usual gray-blue gloom of Forks, but felt brighter than I had in a long, long time.

To say I was comfortable would be an understatement. I was completely and utterly relaxed, sunk into the bed and sheets with Alice curled tight against my side, nuzzling up against the crook of my neck and purring like mad.

Ah, what a wonderful, beautiful morning, and even better awakening.

Jeez, look at me.

I sound like a frigging _optimist_. I mean, seriously.

But what can I say?

I had my girl snuggled up against me and that sweet afterglow still hadn't worn off from last night.

...Last night.

Last night was amazing, incredible, earth shatteringly awesome...

For multiple reasons. The connection I'd felt with Alice had intensified in an almost other worldly kind of way...

The godly orgasm probably helped but ya know, I digress...

Our emotional connection felt ten times, a hundred times, a million, a billion times stronger than before, whether it be because we'd finally made love, or because of whatever happened as I'd finished. All in all, that heartbreaking, painful scene I'd imagined it to be before turned out nothing like the amazing scene it had been. Still, it'd been weird as hell. Different but not intrusive. I mean, I was a virgin. It had to be at least a little weird, even with Alice.

But mostly, it was just incredible. She'd promised to make me feel amazing, and she had. Again and again.

I got lost for a few moments, remembering the touches, the feelings, the sounds and the taste...

And I could honestly say that my first time had been a good one. In fact, it had been a great one. And because it was different, massively so because of the weird occurence at orgasm, it was original, unique, awesome, fucking crazy, and perfectly Alice.

I felt like hitting myself upside the head for being such a dork about everything. Sex with Alice being bad? Ha! I was an idiot. What had I been thinking?

"Mm, sleep good?" Alice rasped out, arms wrapped around my body and legs tangled with mine. Her eyes had peeled open as I'd stirred and looked around, getting my bearings. I had almost expected things to feel different now that we'd had sex, but it wasn't. Not much. I just felt a lot closer to her now.

"Slept really, really good," I groaned, feeling the sleep tension leave my muscles as I stretched, desperately trying not to disturb Alice but loving the feel of it.

Alice only purred and rubbed against me, causing me to debate whether I should coo at how cute she was or melt into a puddle of arousal.

Eh, but I was still satisfied from before, surprisingly.

Not that I'm a nymphomaniac, ha, I mean...

Who am I kidding?

When it came to Alice, I was pretty much sexually deprived in every aspect of the word.

I should probably be a little more worried about that, but whatever. I didn't see a problem with it, and I'm sure Alice didn't either. As long as we took care of it, and I planned on letting her take care of me a whole lot more from now on...

What was wrong with me? Pfft, I couldn't believe how long I'd delayed this bliss with her due to my silly insecurities.

I shivered as I felt her nose brushing beneath my chin repeatedly, feeling her affection wash over me.

"Hey," I mumbled into her hair as I turned my head, inhaling her scent, feeling the inebriating effects of it instantly and loving it.

"Hey," Alice grinned sleepily, lifting her head to lightly kiss me, which caused the dumbest, goofiest smile I had in my arsenal of stupid facial expressions to grace my face, but I couldn't care how I looked.

She just made me too happy to care, I guess.

The sleepy look on her face kind of slapped some sense into me and I immediately felt a wave of questions that I should have been contemplating last night hit me, but, well...I'd been a bit...preoccupied...

"Were you _sleeping_?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows to look at her curiously, watching as she squirmed against me, rubbing her face against my shoulder and purring all the while. Alice had told me that vampires didn't need sleep. They had virtually inexhaustible reserves of energy due to the phenomena of the Vampriosia virus.

She looked like a pampered house cat.

"No," she rumbled and I raised my eyebrow as she crawled on top of me, stroking her body against mine and making me tense for...reasons...

"Alice?" I squeaked, wondering (read: hoping) that she was gearing up for round two. It distracted me from the many questions I had, both about her not (?) sleeping and that weird as hell orgasm thing that had happened.

"Bella," she lilted back, sliding against me and working her head under my chin.

She lay down atop me and put pressure on my bladder which embarrassingly almost caused me to have a very unattractive accident.

How much of a deal breaker would that be? You finally let your partner get in your pants and then the next morning you wet yourself like you're five years old...

"What're you doing? Hey, I need a human moment," I gasped, twisting beneath her but only causing her to rumble louder and rub against me harder.

"Can't help it," Alice mumbled and nibbled my collarbone gently.

"Why?" I breathed, wondering why vampires had to be so damn weird sometimes.

I wouldn't have been complaining if I didn't really, really have to pee at that moment. I mean, it was Alice, and if Alice wanted to rub all over me, then she was perfectly welcome to. But, it was the morning, and my body adhered to a very strict schedule.

"I..." Alice paused for a moment, seeming to decide whether or not she wanted to answer me. I had a feeling it was another one of those vampire secret moments or something.

"I'm uh...Marking you," Alice swallowed and refused to look at me, halting her warm, affectionate movements.

"What do you mean? Okay, wait. Tell me after I get back from the bathroom, please," I squirmed, desperately trying to work out from beneath her before something very traumatizing and shameful for both of us happened.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry!" Alice quickly rolled off of me, well, not quickly, per-say. She kind of had to pull herself away, which took about ten seconds more than it should have, ten precious seconds.

"Thank you!" I called over my shoulder as I walked/ran to her bathroom, very aware of how naked I still was and her eyes on me the whole way.

The questions could wait.

After I finished my buisness, I walked back out of the bathroom, relieved and ready to find out some answers and maybe start up on round two...

Damn libido.

I paused, stopping the words on the tip of my tongue as I spotted my angel stretched across the bed, the dark, almost black, silky blue sheet draped over her waist and thighs, with her arms beneath her head and the creamy white skin of her back fully exposed to contrast perfectly with the color of her sheets.

I couldn't help the way my heartbeat stuttered at the gorgeous, breathtaking sight of her. My breath hitched slightly and I watched as her sweet, golden, lidded eyes followed my path towards her. I walked towards her, taking in as much of her as I could at once.

I ended up at the foot of the bed, where I crawled up behind her, seeing the messy shock of onyx locks sweeping almost, but not quite to her shoulders, framing her soft, yet defined jaw line as she glanced back at me, purring the whole time.

I smiled. Alice really was so beautiful...

I went to my knees on either side of her, letting my right hand slowly trail up the sensitive slope of her back, feeling the slight curve and dip and enjoying the soft noise she let out at my touch.

I loved the effect I could have on her. Sometimes I really hated what I did to her, but these times? I certainly didn't mind them.

I pressed my palms flat against her, sliding my hands up her back and sat on the backs of her thighs. She let out a soft moan and my ears pricked at the noise. I leaned forward as my hands swept between her shoulder blades and she arched forward a bit, lifting her head at this contact. I wrapped my arms beneath her chest, hugging her as I relaxed on top of her, burying my face between her shoulder blades and kissing her lightly.

Alice was smiling brightly as I caught sight of the side of her face.

"So, what were we talking about?" she sighed, looking perfectly content and I felt those soothing pheromones, nothing like her...exciting pheromones enter the air, gently swathing over my eyelids and making my chest feel even warmer.

"We were talking about whether or not you were sleeping and you marking me or something," I murmured and she mm'd.

"Ah. Well, no, I wasn't sleeping. When vampires are extremely content, satisfied thoroughly or injured, they can enter a semi-conscious state of rest. It's pretty much like sleeping, except I am fully aware of everything happening around me, while also not being aware...That doesn't really make sense, does it?" Alice laughed softly, making my stomach tingle happily.

"Nope. I didn't really expect whatever answer you gave me to make sense, anyway. They never really do. What about the marking thing?" I inquired, feeling her still writhing a bit beneath me. Her purring never stopped, and I let the sound of it slip me into a state of utter serenity.

That feeling of peace that had overwhelmed me before was still present, and I was very eager to find out just what the hell had happened last night.

"Uh, well..."

Now, Alice couldn't really blush, especially not like I could. The little blood left running through her veins was only enough to cause a very mild, adorable cute hint of pink to color her pale cheeks.

It was rare, sadly so for Alice to blush, because, well, she was just too confident and shameless to embarrass most of the time.

"Vampires are territorial. Very. It's not even common, in fact, it's pretty rare for vampires to form covens like the one we have here, Bella. We usually travel in ones and twos at the most. That's pretty much because we all carry a possessive, protective mentality about anything we consider ours. This includes mates, territory, and food, among other things," Alice explained.

"For instance, there's a reason we don't often go into each other's rooms. It's like our den, and crossing this line would invite conflict. Animals mark their territory with their scent, like I was just doing. By rubbing against you, I coated you in my smell, which pretty much tells any other vampire or potential mate to back off. We usually do it after, um, mating sessions because, well, that's when we're at our most territorial concerning our mates, besides when our mate is injured or threatened...I'm sorry. I should have asked you permission or something, right?" Alice apologized, the sweet tint of pink still in her cheeks.

I swallowed a bit, processing that information. So, basically, it was just another part of her possessive personality coming about. I didn't mind it. In fact, it kind of turned me on...

Yeah, it probably wasn't a good thing that her jealousy got me going sometimes, but I couldn't help it. A jealous Alice is an angry Alice, and for some reason, she looks really sexy when she's angry.

"Why are you apologizing? It's nothing bad, is it? I mean, at least you don't pee on me or anything," I shrugged, kissing her back softly.

"I don't know. I thought it might put you off or something." I was disappointed when the blush slowly faded from her face. She just looked too damn cute when she was embarrassed. Not like me, I looked like a frigging tomato, and everyone hates tomatoes.

Well, I hate tomatoes, which, in turn, causes a bit of self loathing whenever I get embarrassed, which is often. Maybe this is why my self esteem is so low?

I'm getting sidetracked.

"No, not really. I don't mind it," I said honestly, squeezing her midriff lightly to show I meant it.

"Mm, Esme's not gonna be happy though," Alice added, frowning a bit.

"Why?"

"Well, she's the only one I ever really let in my room without wanting to kick her face in because of my instincts, and she's not gonna be happy about the fact that since we've mated, I probably will want to follow through on that a lot more now. And, she's not gonna be happy that she can't really hug me or you anymore, because now that we've mated and I've marked you, it will put everyone off. In fact, none of my family are probably going to come very close to you for awhile," Alice said, sighing as she did.

Well...I didn't know what to say to that.

"How come? What does that have to do with anything?" I almost wanted to pout. I'd come to enjoy Esme's affections almost as much as Alice's.

To be honest, she was kind of filling the hole that my real mother wasn't here to fill at the moment. I missed Renee terribly, and Esme took the sting out of it a bit.

"It goes back to the whole territorial thing. You are my mate, and if they approach you, I'm not going to be able to help feeling threatened," Alice told me and I mulled that over.

"That sucks," was all I could say.

Yep. I'm an awesome girlfriend, right?

Fuck.

"I know. It won't take long though, I don't think. We've gotten used to getting over our instincts, and Jasper will probably be able to help with his powers," Alice shrugged it off but I still felt a bit guilty.

We couldn't even bang without having some sort of repercussion. How depressing.

I decided to move on to my next question.

"What was that thing that happened last night? I mean, right when I...You know, something crazy happened," I wondered how to phrase the question properly.

Alice paused, thinking over her answer.

"I'm...I'm not quite sure what that was, but I have an idea. We should just ask Carlisle, because I can't be certain over it. I don't even know many details, so I'm about as clueless as you," Alice answered slowly.

Alright, well, then we'd just ask Carlisle, embarrassing as it would be to walk up to your girlfriend's dad and be like, Hey! Last night while me and your daughter were doing the horizontal electric slide, she made me cum so hard I thought I died and went to heaven! Literally! Any idea what that was about?

Hell to the nizzo.

Alice could take care of that one.

"So, what do you wanna do today?" I asked, deciding to merely move on, snuggling into the side of her neck and feeling her purring that had faded a bit as we spoke return full force.

"Ugh. It's training day," Alice whined and I tilted my head.

"Training day?"

"Yeah. You know how you saw us a while back? Well, we need to stay in shape, in case of emergency, and so, every weekend, we train. But I don't want to train, because Carlisle has been on my ass so hard ever since...Victoria," Alice hesitated to say her name, and when she did, she spat it out like it was something gross.

And it was.

"It's okay. I think it'd be kind of cool to see you guys in action," I smiled, trying to wipe the pout off her face.

Alice stiffened a bit, and I took it to mean she was having a vision.

"It's like seven in the morning right now, and Esme is going to want us to come down soon. We start at nine," Alice said and I felt her tensing a bit as she stretched beneath me.

"So, should we go down now?" I asked, shifting off of her in preparation to get clothed and do just that, much as I preferred Alice naked...

"We need to get cleaned up first. Your sense of smell, no offense, doesn't quite pick up on what ours does. Meaning we really need to shower, unless you really do want my family to go vampire on us," Alice smirked a little, looking quite pleased that we smelled totally like sex.

Frigging sex kitten she was. Her libido was probably even bigger than mine, and that's saying something. But I mean, shit, she'd finally gotten laid after waiting forever for my idiotic self to get over my stupid insecurities and just be with her.

"Oh," I blushed and she rolled us over, still smirking her signature smirk and making me shift my thighs.

"That's not helping," Alice purred, dipping her head as she laid on top of me and kissing my lips lightly.

"Neither are you!" I protested. "Do you want to shower first or should I?"

"Who says we have to take turns?" Alice grinned, rolling off of me and the bed and moving towards her bathroom.

"Oh," I squeaked, my face turning even redder, not just from her innuendo, but the delightful sway of her hips and bounce of her very nice ass as she went.

"Coming?" Alice called and I heard the shower water start a moment after she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Not yet," I muttered and realized a moment later that Alice had heard me as I could hear her laughing.

I just rolled my eyes, bit my lip, and followed after her.

* * *

So, after spending a good thirty minutes in the shower with Alice, spending only ten of them washing each other and the other twenty doing various things that would make Charlie contemplate hitting a girl for doing those various things to me, we got out, refreshed and very contented. The thing is, it happened again. When I'd been busy tenatively and probably horribly trying to pay Alice back for last night and she'd finished, it happened.

The back of my skull exploded with delicious pleasure and her orgasm overpowered me, becoming my own as we spent what felt like forever floating in that abyss of white time, as one. It totally felt like cheating to me, like I hadn't really been the one to get Alice off, no matter how much she protested that.

Whatever, pixie. You were my first kiss and you really think I have the capability to get you off like that on my first try?

Pssh, beginner's luck my ass.

Now I was really curious and eager to find out what it was. I couldn't bring myself to be afraid of it. It wasn't like it hurt, in fact, it was quite the opposite.

I clothed myself in my own jeans and shirt as it was cold today, and dressing in Alice's smaller, unfitting clothes, no matter how much it would have pleased her would have gotten me frozen in seconds. I did, however, wear an oversized, black hoodie of hers that she'd gotten from Emmett for Christmas. The dork had gotten it in several sizes too large, but Alice bundled up in it some times as sleep clothing, which, to my delight, kept it shrouded in her blissful scent. It was baggy on me, and I almost laughed at the thought of Alice curling up inside it. It was just too cute.

Alice dressed in these baggy black cargo pants that stopped at her shins and hung low on her hips. She also wore a dark blue sports bra that stopped right above her bellybutton. Normally, I'd have gawked because the clothing was entirely inappropriate for the weather, but I only gawked because she looked hot as hell with her messy black sex hair sweeping over her jawline and her heart shaped lips pulled into a smirk as she watched me stare.

She told me it was her work out gear and that everyone would be wearing something similar.

We descended the stairs and my stomach growled hungrily as I caught the aroma of Esme's cooking. My mouth immediately watered and I heard Alice snickering.

Emse had quickly taken to cooking for me every time I came over. I had full faith in the fact that she was going to make me fat if she kept on with it, but hot damn, for someone who never cooked before she was really, really good at it.

"Hungry?" Alice grinned as we approached the kitchen, me trying not to rush inside like a retarded, excited dog and her biting her lip to keep from outright laughing at the eager look on my face.

Sex with Alice, while amazingly fun, is also very draining. Alice, being a vampire, had endless reserves of stamina that I did not have acess to, much as I wished I did. Food was a necessity to me at that moment.

"Definitely," I mumbled, walking into the kitchen and immediately felt the shift in the atmosphere at out presence.

There was raucous laughter between the boys and their parents, while Rosalie was standing stoically in a corner, being her usual sulky self. Now, I get the whole loner thing. I am one. But I never sulked. She just looked like the world needed to fuck off constantly, while I looked like I just wanted the world to leave me alone.

Emmett and Jasper were shoving each other like boys do and Edward was joining in on their playful banter while Esme tried to get them to calm down. They looked like regular teenage boys, minus the fact that their shirtless chests were very toned, chiseled and powerful. Emmett's biceps looked like frigging tree trunks to me. They were all wearing pants similar to Alice's, except they were in different colors. Edward's were brown, Jasper's green and Emmett's blue. Rosalie's wear was the same as Alice's, except her cargo pants were a dark red and her bra was black. Esme was wearing a dark, grungy orange top with faded and torn jeans, while her husband had opted to wear the same kind of jeans and no shirt.

They all looked gorgeous, powerful and like they were getting ready to work out, which they were.

I felt terribly inadequate and unattractive.

The homey atmosphere tensed as they all turned their noses up and their nostrils flared. Alice immediately shifted slightly in front of me and I watched her eyes warily roam over the boys before giving Rosalie a steely glare. Rosalie took one look at us and walked right out.

Well.

That went better than I thought it would.

"Bella, Alice! Hello, girls! Are you hungry, Bella, dear?" Esme cried in the sudden sharp silence, sounding desperately chipper. I felt like a giant, floating purple elephant that had a pink hippo on each of its shoulders. I was the cause of the awkward silence, yet I was sure no one was going to address it. We would just pretend like that elephant didn't exist and then, well, it wouldn't.

"Yeah, starving," I nodded my head, blushing like mad as Alice gave her mother a wary once over, immediately on guard around any female presence.

"I'm uh, gonna go check on Rose," Emmet muttered and went after his sister.

"Come on, then! Eat up! I suppose you'll be watching us train today?" Esme smiled, pretending not to notice the look on Alice's face.

"Uh, yeah," I agreed and accepted the plate Esme passed to me, which was heaped with eggs, bacon, and pancakes that had my mouth lolling open in delight. I quickly dove in, trying not to look like a total pig as I shoveled her delicious cooking into my mouth, leaning against the counter as she poured me a glass of milk and Alice stood next to me, watching her mother the whole time.

I was pretty sure the only reason Alice wasn't doing anything was because of my earlier guess when Rosalie had me pinned against the lockers.

I, had not, by the way, told Alice about that. I felt like it was unimportant, especially considering what had been going on with Victoria and how Rosalie hadn't actually hurt me. Besides, we'd not even spoken at all since, and she avoided me like I was the plague. I suppose, to her, I was. I'd strained their relationship badly enough. I didn't want to make it any worse.

Anyways, if things were as animalistic as they were sometimes with vampires, there was probably a dominant order in the household. Esme and Carlisle were probably the alpha female and male in the house, being the prime parental figures and authority. If Alice were to challenge this authority, I'm sure there'd be consequences of some sort.

"So, did Alice treat you right last night, Bella, sweetie?"

CHOKE.

I gagged as the orgasmic bacon I'd been wolfing down lodged itself in my throat at Esme's words and gall.

I spent the next minute coughing with Alice rubbing my back, listening to Jasper and Edward laughing their asses off and Carlisle try to explain to his wife what exactly she'd done to cause my sudden choking fit.

"I don't know why you all are so tabooed about sex. We're over a hundred years old. This is just silly. I want to know if my daughter treats her girlfriend properly because I'll not have Bella being mistreated," Esme huffed, looking completely unashamed.

I blushed, swallowing hard and deciding I might want to eat a little slower, a little more carefully around the excentric woman.

"I treat Bella just fine, thanks," Alice snapped, looking quite offended at the thought that she might hurt me.

Esme looked to me for confirmation, causing Alice to scowl like mad at her mother.

"Uh, yeah. She was um, g-great," I stuttered and glared furiously at the two idiots sniggering behind their hands in the corner as my cheeks turned a vibrant red.

Boys.

Ugh.

I could only be thankful Emmett wasn't here.

"Esme, this is private buisness," Carlisel said softly and Esme rolled her eyes.

"Not as long as the wellfare of my daughter and Bella are at hand. Come now, children. We've work to do," Esme called, putting a motherly hand briefly on my shoulder before prancing out of the kitchen.

"That wasn't funny," Alice huffed as her brothers continued laughing and Carlisle went after his crazy, but caring wife.

"It was," Japser disagreed.

"Just a bit," Edward added and their eyes twinkled.

"You know what? You guys suck," Alice growled and they only laughed harder as I munched on my bacon, trying to disappear behind her. They made their stupid jokes and embarrassing comments as they left, leaving me with Alice who was shaking her head.

"My family is nuts. Forgive them, please. They don't mean to be," Alice sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"It's fine. At leas they're entertaining. And you made it seem like if we walked in here you and Rosalie or you and Esme were gonna go at it or something," I looked at her, tilting my head. She had exaggerated a bit. Esme was embarrassing, but that was nothing new. Rosalie had merely disappeared instead of jumping on us or something like I'd been expecting.

"I thought we would. Esme is weird though. I love her to death, but sometimes that woman is just flat out wonky," Alice rolled her eyes, watching me scoop up some bacon to take with us as we began to leave the kitchen and follow her family.

"Wonky?" I grinned and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, wonky."

"Is that even a word?"

"Yes."

"I think you just made it up," I protested, smiling playfully and she smirked at me.

"All words are made up, Bella," she said, making me pause.

"Yeah, but everyone can't just make up words..."

"Why not?"

"Well, because then, no one would know what anyone else was talking about," I pointed out and she seemed to think about that for a moment.

"True, but when there isn't really a particular word for what you're trying to say, that's the time you make a new one. And this entire conversation is pointless, because wonky is, indeed, a word," Alice said as if this were the final thing she had to say on the matter.

I rolled my eyes.

"I still think you just made it up."

Alice shrugged as we made our way out her back door. As we reached the start of the path I'd taken before, Alice turned to me.

"We can either walk normally, or I can carry you. It's up to you," she said and I paused.

"What does you carrying me entail?" I watched her expression.

"We'd get there in about a minute instead of fifteen," Alice answered. It sounded reasonable to me.

"Is that...safe?"

"What? You think I'll drop you or something? You'll be perfectly fine in my arms, Bells. I promise," Alice smiled winsomely at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Okay. Fine. Carry me," I agreed and she swooped me up in her arms, bridal style. It was a bit weird to see a girl that was an inch shorter than me lifting me so easily like this, but whatever.

"You might want to close your eyes," she warned and I just trusted her word, shutting them. I'd seen how fast she could move, and I had no intention of letting my wonderful breakfast get acquainted with the ground when she took off.

A moment later, I felt her lurch forward and even though I could feel the air pressing in on me at the speed she was going, the biting chill of the frost and even though the world was dark, I felt perfectly safe and secure in her arms.


	18. How Size Matters

When we reached the training grounds about a minute later, I felt the vertigo a lot more as she gently placed me back on my feet. I blinked rapidly and stumbled a bit, blushing as she giggled and supported me, her face snuggling into my neck affectionately as she held me up.

"You alright?" Alice nudged me, brushing the hair away from my face.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine," I reassured her, resisting the urge to collapse and spin away with the ground moving beneath me. It passed and she watched me, making sure I was okay before she took my hand and led me towards Esme, who was talking with her husband off to the side a ways. Emmett, Edward and Jasper were off to my right next to a blanket, which looked to be sporting a myriad of gleaming weapons.

I'd seen Edward and Jasper dueling before, and I assumed those were their weapons. There were swords with their sharp, long blades, ornate spears with feathers wrapped beneath their tips, hell, there was even a scythe or two with long, curving blades. They looked deadly, especially in the right hands.

I didn't doubt the Cullens had those hands.

Even with stone skin, I wondered how much damage those weapons would do if they hit the Cullens. After all, weak, human punches were nothing compared to solid steel. I didn't want to think about what it would be like if they slipped up and hit one another or something.

Rosalie looked like she was shadow boxing off on her own, way out in the field. She threw furious punches that were only blurs to my eyes, the old one-two over and over, stepping in with a broad, sweeping kick every now and then that looked like it could take my head off.

"Esme usually just watches over us, makes sure nothing happens. She's the most skilled of us here, and I guess you could call her our teacher," Alice explained as we walked over to her parents.

"Bella, Alice! Hello, girls!" Esme greeted us warmly, her surprisingly dark features lighting up as she turned from her husband. Carlisle smiled slowly, looking as if he was faking it. I guess whatever they were talking about wasn't something happy. "Bella, you'll be with me for most of the time. I have to make sure these goofballs don't hurt themselves, among others," Esme grinned, motioning to the scuffling the boys were producing, and Alice didn't look as uptight about her being so close to me as before, but she was still hesitant to leave my side.

"I'll check on you every now and then, okay? If you want to leave at any time, just tell me," Alice murmured, brushing her lips against my chin and trotting out towards Rosalie.

I didn't plan on wanting to leave. I was actually very interested about what vampires really looked like in action. Well, I'd seen them in action. But never really full on battle mode, even if it was only simulated.

For a few minutes, I just stood quitely by Esme and Carlisle, bugged about their stupid lip twitching vampire talk that was too quiet and too fast for me to hear. Alice hadn't even gotten a chance to ask Carlisle about our sexual bliss (God, that was so embarrassing) and I certainly had no intentions of addressing it. So, I just watched my girl go to work, throwing punches and kicks and looking downright beautiful.

After awhile, I began a conversation with Carlisle, seriously curious to learn more about vampires.

"Does it not hurt when you guys spar?" I inquired and he glanced at me, smiling that gentle, fatherly smile.

"No. Alice didn't really explain much of us to you, did she?" Carlisle tilted his head, turning his attention to me fully.

"She explained a few things, but not a lot," I told him.

"Our skin is hard enough to repel most attacks, including the primitive human weapons of metal. Some minerals, if used correctly may damage us, but it's pretty much limited to diamonds. However, another vampire or fire are very efficient in combat against us. Beyond that, it's pretty much impossible to harm a vampire," Carlisle explained and I pondered that for a moment.

"So if you like, jumped in front of a freight train, you'd be fine?" I asked and he laughed.

"No, not really. Human or vampire, if you get hit by a freight train, it's going to hurt. A lot. Our skin cannot take that measure of powerful collision, and will shatter or crack with extreme pressure as you may have seen when my daughters were fighting. If I were to jump in front of a freight train, I suppose my skin would pretty much save my life, but I doubt I'd be grateful. The pain that I'd have to endure as I waited, probably around a year to heal would be enough to convince me that I'd have preferred death."

That pretty much blew my mind. I got a vision of Carlisle as humpty dumpty, and didn't really like it. I remembered the patches of sickly gray flesh that had been exposed when Rosalie had beaten the dog shit out of Victoria.

"But, what happens when it does shatter? What's that nasty gray stuff under it?" I made a face and Carlisle raised his eyebrow.

"Hmm? Oh, that is the flesh beneath our armor, if you will. It is very tender and as weak as human skin. The Vampriosia cells do not safe proof everything about us, and that is basically the layer of skin that was not given super strength. I believe the gray color is the lack of sunlight it gets," Carlisle informed me.

Okay. It was a bit gross, but I understood.

"Why does fire work?" My curiosity was getting the better of me. I yearned to know as much about Alice as I could, including the mysterious vampire side of her.

"For some reason, the Vampriosia cells detest extreme heat. It is the reason we've made our home in Forks, one of the cloudiest places on the planet. In the time it takes a human to acquire a mild sunburn, a vampire would need hospitalization for the damage the sun would inflict. We would endure second to third degree burns in about an hour out in the sun. While heat is a bit too much for us, we do, however, enjoy warmth," Carlisle spoke with an air that said he'd thought about this for a long time.

I allowed that to sink in. Alice, when we'd showered, had refused to let me turn the water on the near boiling temperature I liked, and instead kept it almost luke warm. I hadn't complained...She'd heated me up herself fairly quickly.

"How come?" I asked.

"Well, our skin doesn't exactly absorb warmth as easily as a humans, so we do get cold sometimes in our shells. When we come into contact with gentle warmth, like the type humans emit, it is very pleasant. Even Fork's sun is not so bad, when filtered through the heavy cloud cover," Carlisle explained.

Ah, so that was why Alice kept muttering about how warm I was...

We were quiet for awhile as we watched Emmett, Jasper and Edward clean up the arrows in about thirty seconds flat with their speed. My eyes widened as the field was returned to normal, and the boys dumped bundles of arrows into a pile next to their blanket of weapons.

After they finished cleaning up, Alice trotted over to Rosalie who had moved off to the side when the boys began their 'training'.

If I was anyone else, I might think this to be just a tiny bit batshit insane.

Rosalie was leaning against a tree with her arms crossed, her face expressionless. When Alice reached her, they both moved out further into the field together.

"What are they doing now?" I asked curiously as the two girls paused around ten feet away from each other.

"Sparring," Esme replied and I watched as Rosalie suddenly lunged forward, a blur and Alice met her head on.

It was nothing like the furious, animalistic war I'd first seen them in when Rosalie had saved me from being mauled the day Alice had confessed to me about being a vampire. It was a calculating dance between two beautiful predators.

Rosalie was still a bit of a furious fighter. She was not stupid about it though. Her punches were all strong and swift, but not without thought. She looked like a boxer, a very gorgeous, deadly boxer as she swung at Alice's face.

Ah, but she couldn't touch my girl. Alice bobbed and weaved around Rosalie's punches just like the arrows, her head jerking left and right while she danced from foot to foot, one hand open palmed a little bit in front of her face and the other arm bent to leave her other hand open palmed at her right hip.

"Alice is an expert in Muay Thai," Carlisle told me. "It is a martial arts form dedicated mostly to the use of one's elbows, knees and feet. The entire body is usually used with each kick, punch, elbow and block."

I could see that Alice was usually on the defensive with Rosalie's vicious moves, swerving out of the way, and for good reason. I'd seen the power Rosalie could put behind those punches, and she'd only need one to put Alice down for the count, even if I didn't think they were aiming to hurt each other.

However, occasionally Alice would strike at an invisible to my eyes opening, rotating her hips and twisting her body to throw a strong kick at Rosalie's side, and sometimes even aiming for her head. Rosalie wasn't an easy opponent though, and they never really landed a blow.

"Alice, while not an opponent you should ever underestimate usually needs to wear down her opponents. She's small, and no matter what anyone says, size matters, for both strength and intimidation purposes. It's usually not really taken into equation with vampires, but Alice is...exceptionally small," Esme spoke as we watched them sparring, looking both lethal and beautiful, especially Alice.

"I am not _that _short!" Alice shouted to us, throwing her head back to avoid a punch that Rosalie seemed hellbent on using to bust her nose, and Esme bit her lip to fight back a smile as I jumped a bit, forgetting she could hear us with her super senses.

"It's rather inconsequential, though. It's virtually impossible to even graze her now that she's perfected her technique. She favors kicks," Esme went on.

"Ah, but Rosalie is an entirely different matter. You see how she's always looking angry when she fights?" Carlisle pointed to the permanent glare and thin lips etched into Rosalie's face.

I nodded. I'd certainly noticed how angry Rosalie seemed to be all the time.

"We're not entirely sure why, but the emotion anger unlocks something raw and devastatingly powerful in her Vampriosia cells, hyper thrusting her already super strength. If Rosalie were to unleash her full strength, not one of us here, not even Emmett would be able to withstand that power. Her fury is literally her power as Alice's visions are hers. I sometimes wonder if Rosalie were to go off the deep end if even all of us together could stop her...You've really no idea the caliber of strength Rosalie possesses," Carlisle spoke softly, and I assumed it was to keep from letting Rosalie hear.

"The only problem is, if Rosalie loses control of her power, it could be the death of her. It takes a lot out of her body to use that much energy, and it drains the Vampriosia cells for a time. That, coupled with the fact if Rosalie were to go on a rampage, it would probably be the end of Forks and herself..."

That made me swallow a bit, have a little more appreciation and respect for the swings that the blond threw at my girl. I didn't want to think about what it would be like if that were to happen, and Alice was on the receiving end of it. It made me wish they'd go back to shooting arrows at her instead.

Alice suddenly flipped backwards, landing on her hands before using that to launch herself even further away from Rosalie. Rosalie didn't let up, just rushed forward in a blur to keep the pressure on. Alice had barely landed on her feet again when she had to duck the wicked swing Rosalie took at her.

My breath hitched but Alice apparently had a trick up her sleeve. She got in close, too close for Rosalie to be able to punch at her properly and swung her right elbow at Rosalie's ribs, driving her point home as Rosalie snarled and jumped back from the furious body blow Alice had dealt her before she could do it again with her left elbow.

They broke apart, Alice smirking infuriatingly at Rosalie, something I really wished she wouldn't do and Rosalie glaring back at her, annoyed.

The blond's lips moved and Alice's smirk only broadened at whatever her adopted sister had said. Alice made a reply, something I could easily interpret as being a total smart ass remark and Rosalie lurched forward suddenly, but of course, Alice expected it and they went right back at it.

"This is so..." I struggled to a find the appropriate word for what I was seeing.

"Incredible? Insane? Weird? Different? Cool?" Esme supplied and I debated laughing or giving her a WTF look for her craziness.

Or, as Alice would say, for being totally wonky.

"Yeah," I shook my head and Esme suddenly frowned.

"Hey! HEY! Put that down, young man! I just fixed the chip you put in it last time!" she yelled, walking past me and I turned to see Emmett hefting a battle ax from the blue weapons blanket, weighing it in his hands.

It was easy to find the humor in Esme calling Emmett a 'young man' and totally going Mother mode on him. Emmett jerked his head up and tensed.

"Aw, Mom, come on. Please? I promise I won't break it!" he begged and I couldn't help but laugh.

Before I could follow after Esme, there was a loud CRACK ringing through the field, followed by several more. I immediately recognized the noise as two vampires fighting, for real. I'd gotten so used to it by now, and I recognized those particular hisses and roars.

Esme stood quickly and we all looked out at the field to see Rosalie and Alice going at it. It was no longer a beautiful dance but a frigging all out cat fight, and not the sweet, cute house cats, but like a lioness and a panther waging war. They were both bent on ripping into each other, baring their fangs and roaring as they rolled around kicking and snarling.

"HEY!" Carlisle shouted, bolting across the field. Esme was off too, both of them streaking towards the scuffle.

Why can't those two just ever get along...?

Oh, yeah.

Me.

I couldn't help but panic a bit, I mean, it was never good when Rosalie wanted to rip you apart and I remembered what Carlisle had said about her power. I sprinted after them, but it would take me about thirty seconds instead of two to reach them.

Esme somehow reached them first despite being farther away and as Alice drove her elbows repeatedly into Rosalie's face and Rosalie smashed into the pixie's ribs again and again with devastating punches, their mother completely lost it.

"ENOUGH!" Esme roared as she reached them, wrapping her fingers in both of their hair before literally cracking their heads together like one of those stupid cartoons.

I wondered whether to laugh or wince as their foreheads rebounded off of each other and they both yelped as Mamma vampire's wrath came down on them.

Well...

That's one way to handle it.

"I'm sick of this! You are family! We are not ANIMALS!" Esme snarled down at them and for the first time in my life, I was actually afraid of that woman. I flinched and stopped before I could get too close. Rosalie and Alice were both sitting on the grass, cradling their heads and blanching away from their mother.

Esme went on a tirade, scolding them and yelling angrily, making the two big bad predators look like spanked puppies.

I guess my theory was correct. Rosalie even looked pained and chastised by her mother's shouting.

Yep, Esme was the top mother fucker in this house. I felt bad for my girl, who looked particularly distraught with the shouting. I didn't dare interfere though.

"Now, what was all that about?" Esme huffed after she calmed down, and I could see Alice trembling.

My heart nearly broke as it looked like Alice was going to cry, even if she couldn't.

Rosalie snorted, avoided her mother's eyes and stood up, brushing past the woman.

"Don't even start your sulking," Esme ground out, looking annoyed with Rosalie's petulance.

"Whatever. Ask_ her_," Rosalie snapped, throwing her hand out in Alice's general direction before disappearing out of the field, going in the direction of the trail, probably eager to get out of the embarrassing and shameful situation she'd been put in. She'd just been gotten onto by her mother in front of her entire family and one person she probably hated, so I couldn't blame her.

Alice was still on the ground, her chest heaving a bit and I saw her swallow hard. I ached to go to her, but Esme suddenly noticed and sighed softly as the rest of the Cullens gave them some distance.

I couldn't hear what she said as she crouched down in front of Alice, but Alice's bottom lip trembled and she threw her arms around her mother's neck as Esme brushed her lips over her forehead, and I took it to be an apology for the earlier punishment.

Vampire punishment was obviously a lot different than human punishment.

I think I understood why Alice was so upset. She was almost as affectionate with her mother as she was with me. Alice often greeted Esme with a warm hug and received a kiss on the cheek in return. She loved her mother dearly, and I'm sure it pained her to be treated like that by Esme.

Why, though, do I get the feeling that this is somehow about me?

Because it always ends up being about me.

I know that sounds totally conceited or something, but really, it's not. It's not like everything is good. In fact, everything usually sucks if it ends up revolving around me. Sometimes I feel like I'm my own planet and my gravitational pull only attracts bad luck and shitty circumstances.

Alice suddenly pulled back from the gentle embrace and tilted her her head slightly, stiffening. It was familiar and I knew she was having a vision.

She turned to her mother and spoke rapidly, standing quickly and I frowned. Obviously it was something important.

Esme's frown mirrored my own and I noticed the other Cullens tensing up as well, probably hearing whatever Alice had said. There was a moment of pause, of deliberation and then Alice streaked over to me, startling me as she appeared in front of me.

"We have to go," she said firmly, holding her arms out to me.

"What? Why? What's going on?" I babbled, watching as the other Cullens took off after Rosalie.

"The Volturi have finally called back, and it's not good news," Alice muttered. "Come on, we have to hurry. I'll explain when we get back to my house."

"But...Okay..." I relented, trying to adjust to the change in everything.

That's just how my world works. One minute you're peacefully watching two boys goof off with their mom, and then their sisters are trying to kill each other, and then of course, the supposedly evil and cruel vampire clan that seems to be a deep undercurrent of all the madness you're enduring finally decides to respond back with apparently bad news...

I allowed Alice to scoop me up.

"Hey..." I whispered, reaching my hand out to brush against her cheek and catch her troubled eyes.

"Yes?" she paused, glancing down at me.

"Are you okay?" I breathed, my eyes filled with concern as her stormy, topaz ones swirled anxiously.

"I'm okay as long as you're okay. I'm sorry you had to see that, too. It was uncalled for," Alice apologized, leaning down to kiss me softly.

"What happened, though? You two looked really pissed," I asked but Alice shook her head.

"No time to tell you now. I promise I'll explain later, Bells, but we really need to get back to my house. Hang on," Alice said and before I could try and insist on an answer now, she bolted and I squeaked, clamping my eyes shut to avoid the inevitable vertigo of having to watch the world go by so fast.

I suppose I was finally going to find out more about those mysterious Volturi...

But I couldn't quite shake the furious look Rosalie had given me as she passed me on her flee from the field, and how much anger and resentment it had held...


	19. Confrontation

It bothered me, the look on everyone's faces as we entered the Cullen domain. Everyone was already there, as Alice and I had left last, we arrived last. She led me into the living room, holding my hand tightly and the grim set of her jaw made me frown. Obviously, something was up, and of course, I'd be the last to know.

"Don't speak, okay? The Volturi are on the phone and I don't want them to know you're here," Alice whispered in my ear right before we entered the living room.

I didn't have time to ask any of the plenty of questions I had before we were joining her family. The cordless telephone was sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room. There was one couch on one side of it, and a smaller one at the end opposite to me and Alice, with the loveseat sitting opposite the larger couch. Carlisle sat alone in the loveseat, and Esme, Jasper and Edward occupied the large couch, while Emmett chilled by himself on the smaller one. Rosalie was standing up next to her father, glaring daggers at the sleek black telephone.

I assumed it was on speaker phone.

"Aro, my daughter has arrived," Carlisle announced, his hands clasped in front of him as he bent forward, his expression intent and serious.

"_Ah! Good, good! Ms. Brandon, I was wondering when you would arrive! It's been so long since we've spoken and I've missed you dearly_!" The phone garbled out merrily.

My eyebrows rose at the high but male voice coming through the phone. I could practically hear, actually, I _could_ hear him giggling through the phone, likened to that of an amused school girl.

It was more than a little weird.

"Wish I could say the same to you, Aro," Alice muttered, releasing my hand and scowling deeply at the phone.

So…That was Aro? I'd heard Edward mention him before, the day Victoria had arrived. Something about Aro knowing or seeing what Alice knew, whatever that meant.

"_What? Have you not missed me, friend? Boo. Ah, well. It is inconsequential, I suppose. Now, how is your dear human friend, Bella, I think her name is?"_

Alice went very still at that and my eyes widened.

He knew about me…? I didn't see how, though…How did he even know my name? None of the Cullens would have had any reason to mention me to the Volturi at all.

"Fine. Aro, we didn't call you to speak about my mate. We called you to deal with Victoria and nothing more," Alice said slowly and I watched her set her shoulders.

"_No! I want to talk about your mate! She is of much interest to me at the moment. And we already dealt with the redhead woman, didn't we, Caius_?" I could hear the pout in his voice and a softer, smoother and deeper voice responded faintly in the background.

"_Yes, Aro_," I assumed it was this Caius person, who sounded utterly annoyed with Aro.

"_Yes, see? Now, about your intriguing mate_…"

"No, you did _not_ deal with her," Alice all but snarled at the phone and I could see her patience wearing thin.

"_Hey, Missy! Watch your tone! That's no way to speak with your elders_!" Aro reprimanded, bewildering me. Aro sounded like a child to me…

But what the hell could they want with me?

"Alice, calm yourself," Carlisle said softly and Esme stood, going to her daughter to put her hand gently on her shoulder while Jasper sent out waves of calm, making me a bit loopy for a second until he properly controlled it.

"Aro, I would not have called you unless it was absolutely important and an emergency, for I know how busy you are with your city, but obviously Victoria was not dealt with. I know the games you like to play, old friend, but I must say this is one that does not amuse me. My family is at risk, and this is not something I will stand for, especially at your hand," Carlisle spoke softly but firmly to the phone, his eyes cool and staring at it as if he could see Aro through it.

"_What, what, what? What are you saying, Carlisle? My friend, I would never intentionally put your family at risk! I simply do not understand how you could possibly still have troubles with the beastly woman. We set her aflame_!" Aro protested in his high, and for some reason, disturbing voice.

Something about Aro's voice just made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, made me wince.

"That is exactly what I mean. Do not try to play me, Aro. I know how you work sometimes, or did you forget the reason I left you in the first place?" Carlisle replied without missing a beat.

"_Cold, Carlisle. Low blow, old friend. You know that was entirely silly! But this is besides the point…I suppose, if you feel so greatly about it, for you only, I will look into the matter of hunting her down again, even though she's only a pile of ash_," Aro mumbled out like a kid that had been forced to admit he'd been caught doing wrong, but had no real intentions of following through on his promise not to do it again or to make up for it. I highly doubted they'd actually do anything about it.

But all this was just a precaution against Victoria, right? The Cullens had run her off.

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "That was all we needed, and I hope the trouble with your city is done with now."

"_Now, hold on a minute. I'm not through speaking to the small one, yet," _Aro interrupted Carlisle's good-bye quickly.

Alice's scowl only deepened at the term 'small one' and I couldn't help but grin a bit. Esme squeezed her shoulder while Emmett let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like laughter, making his sister glare furiously at him.

"I told you, I do not wish to discuss private matters with you, Aro!" Alice growled.

Seriously, I already don't like these guys. And I really do think that somehow they're behind this, or that they're the real bad guys, and when the bad guy takes an interest in you, you know you're fucked.

Victoria's words still haunted me, what she'd spoken of. Something about walking deliberately into a trap, that she didn't have a choice in this anyway, or the thing about our doom hiding in the guise of our savior…

You know what, fuck vampires and their stupid riddles. Why can't they ever just say what they mean?

"_Aw, come on, Alice! Please? You know I know what you know about knowing_-"

"Stop with the word games!" Alice snapped as my head whirled, trying to work through that particularly confusing sentence.

A ridiculous and creepy girlish giggle came through the phone, making Alice roll her eyes in annoyance.

"_Couldn't resist! Anyways, it's not really up to debate. I want to talk about Bella so we're going to talk about Bella, and in fact, I want to talk _to_ Bella. I know she's with you right now. Hello, Bella!"_ Aro called to me and I jolted.

How the hell could he know that I was here?

Alice tensed and whipped around, looking at me in astonishment.

"Uh, hi?" I squeaked. What else could I do but respond? I don't think he'd take well to being ignored.

"How did you know…?" Alice gawked at the phone as I squirmed uncomfortably.

"_Shot in the dark. I didn't really expect an answer! Haha! I love wild guesses that turn out to be right!_" Aro giggled triumphantly.

...God damn it.

He got us. Or rather, he got me. I should have kept my mouth shut. What a creepy fucker…

"Anyways, how are you, dear? You've been quite the interest here in Volterra for my friends and I!" Aro told me and I didn't quite know what to say.

"Bella, you don't have to talk to them," Alice whispered to me, which translated to: Don't talk to them.

"_Ah, but doesn't she, small one? You see, this isn't really a matter of consent. Your mate has been quite the trouble for us these past months, and well, you know we don't like people causing trouble…" _Aro said in an ominous tone while Alice seethed at the continued use of the term 'small one.'

What the hell? What did I do to them? I hadn't done shit! Screw that!

"What? How! I don't even know you people!" I protested, glaring at the phone. If I'm going to get crap, then I want to at least get it for something I actually did!

"_Ah, but we know you, Miss Swan. Very well, in fact. Your very existence causes us trouble, and that is a problem for you and your family indeed_…"

"Aro!" Carlisle barked suddenly. "I'd appreciate if you did not threaten my family in any way, shape or form or you will be the one experiencing problems! Do not think we are merely another clan or coven for you to bully into getting your way! Or have you forgotten these past years so easily?"

"_Carlisle, my dear friend, you misinterpret me! Please, you are so easily offended these days_!" Aro cried, sounding genuinely upset with Carlisle's anger. I'd never actually seen the calm doctor look so…not calm.

"I see no misinterpretation of calling the very existence of my daughter's mate a problem for you, nor do I appreciate it either," Esme's svelte, sweet tone was now low and made me shiver a bit.

The Cullen parents could be downright scary…

"_Please, please! This is getting out of hand. Perhaps it would be better for us to speak in person, as I do wish very much to meet your mate, Alice, dear. And it's been so long since I've seen you all, and I miss you dearly. In fact, we all miss you here, don't we Marcus, Caius_?" Aro lamented and I heard monotone voices in the background respond with a droll, 'Yes, Aro.'

"No way! No way in hell!" Alice hissed, stepping back a bit and I recognized the shift in her position. She felt the need to protect me, as her back nearly pressed to my front and she stiffened up considerably.

"_Look, you all are making a bigger deal out of this than necessary_," Aro huffed, sounding like a petulant and frustrated child.

I honestly doubted that. I didn't trust the Volturi at all, and whatever trust they might have garnered was rapidly deteriorating, especially with Alice's reaction and his words.

"No. No way. I refuse to bring my _human_ mate to Volterra so you all can munch on her for lunch," Alice snarled, solidly denying the…request? I couldn't tell if Aro was actually asking, suggesting or pretty much ordering the Cullens to come to see them.

And bring me with them…

Munch on me? What? Does that mean the Volturi diet doesn't consist of deer and bears, but humans…? I had not assumed that all vampires followed the Cullen diet, especially with how Victoria acted…

"_Now that's just downright offensive! We do not eat friends_!" Aro cried back.

"She's not your friend, though, is she? She's your problem, and the only reason you want her there is so you can fix her and we all know what that entails," Rosalie spoke up for the first time, actually defending me, or more likely just venting her anger.

There was a long pause that totally didn't comfort me or reassure me that I wasn't just a problem they wanted to 'fix'…

With every second that passed, I was starting to dislike the Volturi even more.

"_My patience is wearing thin_," Aro said after a moment, his peppy, chipper tone taking on a lower, more adult like quality that was no less creepy than his first tone.

"_We have responded to your distress call, a silly one at that so that we may help you with this woman who we have already killed, a relatively innocent vampire who's affairs we should not have interfered with but did because we cared for you, and you respond with hostility? This upsets us greatly. For years we have allowed your insolence as you were friends, but apparently, you all wish to sever this tie for some unfathomable reason_…"

Unfathomable my ass. Aro sounded more like an annoyed, pissed off vampire should instead of a weird little kid, and I understood that we had, in fact, genuinely annoyed him.

"_This hurts me. I love you all as if you were my blood family, yet, you do not, apparently, return the sentiments_," Aro actually did sound hurt by this…

"Aro, you know that's not true," Carlisle interrupted quickly.

"_Silence! Now this is enough! I attempted to do this peacefully, attempted to overlook your spiteful ways, Carlisle, your scorn and refusal of my hospitality, but now that your family, yes, _your_ family is bringing me trouble of this sort, I cannot. I am not requesting this. I am _ordering_ you and all of your family to appear in Volterra within one month, with or without the human to discuss your future in the vampire world, and what must be done to fix the problems the human is causing_," Aro's voice was ringing with authority now and the Cullens went very quiet at that.

Well, shit. We'd just managed to piss of what I assumed was the biggest and baddest vampire clan there was. And just what could I possibly be doing to cause them such awful problems? My existence was doing it? Should I just go and kill myself, would that fix everything?

What a morbid and depressing thought…

"And if we refuse?" Rosalie snipped into the silence, lips thin and eyes narrow.

"_Then I believe Jane and Chelsea will have no issue with making an appearance in your quaint little town of Forks_," Aro snapped back, all trace of friendly happiness gone from his voice.

The sudden snarl that ripped from Alice's throat made me flinch. Alice lunged forward and snatched up the phone, launching it into the wall. It shattered and then clattered to the floor as her chest heaved and she glared at its remains.

"Forget that. _Forget _that," she rumbled, her chest heaving.

"That was a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Rosalie scowled, five feet to the right from her original position as she'd had to move to avoid the phone.

"Shut up!" Alice yelled back, taking a step towards her adoptive sister. Esme restrained her and I bit my lip, feeling like I was the cause for all the rage and panic in Alice's body.

"Calm down!" Carlisle shouted and I felt a dizzying wave of calm blast throughout the room, making my knees weak as Jasper stood up. Alice breathed in deeply, slowly as Rosalie snorted and dropped her aggressive stance.

"Everyone needs to just relax…" Carlisle spoke softly as the rest of the Cullens stood as well.

"This is such bullshit, though! We haven't done anything! They were supposed to help us!" Emmett growled and Jasper nodded.

"This is all just getting out of hand," Esme breathed as Alice turned away from her, moving towards me and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Look…I don't understand really anything that's going on, but if I'm the reason they're so pissed, then maybe we really do need to go talk to them in person…" I said slowly and as I expected, Alice shook her head.

"No. You are not going to Volterra. No _way_," Alice faced me fully, eyes boring into mine.

"Why not? They just want to talk, right? They said they wouldn't eat me, so I don't…"

"They do _not_ just want to talk! They never just _want to talk_! And they say a lot of shit, don't they? It's why we're here now, even having this conversation! Why is everyone pretending like everything that's happening isn't their fault!" Alice screamed, not just at me, but her entire family.

There was a long moment of silence.

"As of now, I don't think it best that you do go, Bella. I don't trust Aro anymore, but as for the rest of us, we don't really have a choice, do we? We've genuinely upset the Volturi, and now we have to deal with it," Carlisle said after a moment, the voice of reason as I refused to look Alice in the eyes, stung by the tone of voice she'd used and directed at least at little bit at me.

I still couldn't stand when she was angry or upset with me at all. It didn't happen often, but when it did, it hurt…

"I'm sure none of us want to become reacquainted with Jane, and Alice, do you honestly wish to introduce Bella to Chelsea if we should refuse their call?" Carlisle went on and none of the Cullens could argue, though I had no idea what was so bad about those two girls that it could convince them to go to Volterra.

"Look…As of now, all we can do is prepare for whatever the Volturi might have in store for us. I propose this. Alice, Bella, we'll let you decide whether or not the one human shall be accompanying us. We all need to double our training regimen, strengthen our defenses and our powers…But other than that, all we can really do is wait," Carlisle finished, looking around at his family as he spoke.

"By the time this month ends, I'ma be ready to kick some Volturi ass," Emmett proclaimed, making a few of us smile, if a bit grimly.

"We should all promptly hunt, and should continue to hunt frequently this month, just in case," Jasper offered and was met with agreement.

In case what…?

"Agreed. We all need to be at full strength at all times. Let's go. Rosalie, since you hunted yesterday, there's no need. I'm asking you to protect Bella, as I can't be sure the Volturi won't try anything for her," Carlisle nodded at his blond daughter and she said nothing, only turned and headed up the stairs. Carlisle sighed.

"Alright, come on. We can talk about this more when we get back, but I'd feel safer and more at ease if we were all at peek strength," the father Cullen motioned to his family and they fell out, headed towards the back door.

I still wasn't looking at Alice, still hurt by her yelling. She didn't follow them.

"Hey," my pixie breathed, her sweet breath brushing over my ear as she nudged me with her nose, trying to get my attention. I reluctantly turned to her, my sullen and stung expression still all over my face. I couldn't help it. I just wanted Alice to love me, never be mad at me…

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice...I'm just so worried, Bells," Alice whispered, swallowing hard and standing in front of me, cupping my face to keep my eyes on her.

"I know that," I muttered and she bit her lip.

"Please, please don't be upset…I'm terrified of losing you…I just got you…Don't be mad at me, please…" Alice begged, amber eyes shining with remorse. I couldn't stay mad at her. Her puppy dog eyes had me melting in seconds and I sighed.

"It's fine. I know you're upset. I am, too, okay? It'll all work out though…Have some faith in your family, alright? I think they can handle this so don't panic so much," I mumbled, brushing my nose against hers and making her grin in delight.

"Right. And I want you, in turn, to have faith in me, alright? I'll protect you till the end. No one will hurt you, I swear it," Alice replied softly, wrapping her cool arms around my neck and I snuggled into the crook of hers, delighting her and making her purr warmly.

"I trust you. I love you," I kissed the spot beneath her left ear gently and felt her shiver, making my heartbeat quiver and my body react wonderfully.

Things may have been chaotic, but I was slowly learning how to go with it, to let Alice guide me through the madness.

"I love you more," Alice smirked against my skin, nipping playfully at my shoulder and making me tense and my skin tingle. Before I could process those particular feelings, Edward interrupted.

"Hey, Alice, come on! We're going to the top of the mountain tonight and you're wasting time. Let's go, Shorty!" Edward called from the living room entrance and we reluctantly broke apart.

Boys ruin everything…

"Alright, alright. Quit your griping. Jasper won't leave without you," Alice taunted back, her hand still on my waist and Edward scowled.

"Shut up. Come on," Edward whined and I grinned.

"Go on. I'll be fine with Raging Rosalie," I rolled my eyes, giving her a little push.

"Tch…You better be…" Alice frowned, her eyes darkening at the mention of her sister.

I paused, unsure how to respond but Alice just shrugged, kissed the corner of my mouth swiftly and then went after her brother, teasing him the whole way about Jasper's firm chest and leaving me breathless, shrouded in her sweet scent.

I didn't really know what to do with myself, so I just went up to Alice's room to be as close to her as possible, already missing her. I collapsed on her bed, burying my face in her pillow and inhaling deeply, loving the aroma she left coating it. I kicked off my shoes and sighed deeply, trying to process everything.

It was rare to get a moment to myself now-a-days, and I needed all the time I got to think about everything, lest I explode from going too fast or being filled with too much insane information at once.

So…The Volturi.

Whoever they were, they obviously had a hand in everything happening. I still couldn't shake Victoria's daunting words, and what was up with her whole 'You owe me one' thing. A life for a life? What the hell did that mean?

And the Volturi could apparently scare the Cullens enough into getting them to go to Volterra, somewhere Alice really, really didn't want to go, and certainly did not want to take me. Did they…feed on humans? That would be enough reason for me to never want to go there, but still…

I felt guilty. I was somehow causing them trouble, which was in turn bringing hell for the Cullens. Somehow, it always came back to me. I was the reason they went through so much shit, why Alice had to learn to control herself better, why Alice suffered for years, why Alice and Rosalie fought…

And speaking of which, what was Rosalie's problem? I understood the initial resentment because I threatened Alice's potential moral integrity should Alice lose control, and she did, that first time…But she was better now. Rosalie had no reason to hate me like she did, had no reason to glare holes through my skull every time she saw me.

And right then and there, Rosalie pissed me off.

What _was_ her _problem_? I had done nothing to her, nothing to deserve this treatment!

But more than that, I was the reason she gave Alice hell. I know it had something to do with me, why else would she have looked at me like that when she left the field? I knew Alice strived to protect me, would react aggressively to anyone who had a problem with me, and I knew she was acting towards Rosalie as she did because of me. Rosalie for damn sure had no right to get on Alice's case over me!

By whatever god there may be, if Rosalie had a problem with me, she could talk to me about it, not give my girl even more shit than the was already getting. Fuck that.

I sat up suddenly, feeling the hot anger building in my stomach. We dealt with enough crap already and it pissed me off that Rosalie was giving us even more. I balled my fists up and came to a decision.

Enough was enough.

I left Alice's room on a mission, determined to settle this right now. Maybe it gave me something to do, something I could fix as I felt so helpless at the Volturi's whim right then, but for whatever reason it was, I made my way towards Rosalie's room.

Obviously, the stress was making me crazy.

I paused as I reached her door, steeling myself up for the task. Rosalie was not exactly the easiest person to talk to, so I took a minute to gather myself. Then I knocked.

No answer.

Irritated because I knew she was in there, I could feel it, and knew I was being ignored, I knocked again, louder.

"Go away," I heard her call and scowled.

"No! We need to talk, Rosalie!" I called back.

No reply.

I set my jaw and knocked again.

"Go. Away. Human!" Rosalie snarled through the door.

"No! Look, I'm not going anywhere. This is stupid! Just open the door and talk to me, damn it!" I yelled back, my already thin patience wearing thinner. I'd always been an impatient person.

No reply.

Stubborn little…

I knocked even harder, almost banging on the door insistently.

"Rosalie!" I shouted, ready to kick the door in and barge right in on the difficult woman.

No reply.

Just as I was about to begin banging on the door again, it swung open and I came face to face with the blond temptress.

"What! What could you possibly want me for that you have to fucking sit here and wail on my door like you have no goddamn sense to take the fucking hint!" Rosalie yelled, one hand on the doorframe and the other holding the edge of the door.

Me?

I squealed and stumbled back, frightened and startled by her sudden appearance.

After struggling for a moment to tame my hammering heart and control my breathing while she glared icy daggers into my soul, I straightened up, faux bravery washing over my expression.

"We need to talk," I huffed, feeling utterly insignificant beneath her piercing gaze.

"I gathered," she growled, not moving.

"I mean…Look, would you just stop looking at me like that for two seconds! I'm trying to be civil and I don't get why you're acting like this!" I snapped, wondering where my courage to speak to Rosalie like that came from. Probably the irritation and anger boiling in the pit of my stomach.

She paused, her expression not changing in the slightest.

"No. Go away," she snorted, turning and attempting to shut the door.

Fucking A, I was so fed up at that point. I shoved my foot in the way in time to stop her from closing it. There was a moment of silence as she paused again, turning back around to look down at my foot, and then my face.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she scowled, making me squirm and want to run like mad. I almost,_ almost_ regretted coming to her, but I was sick and tired of all this mess. We needed to settle this.

"We. Need. To. Talk," I pronounced each word slowly and deliberately, refusing to look away from her terrifying gaze.

We had a stare off for a good ten seconds before she yanked the door open and stepped back into her room.

"You want to talk? Fine. Then talk, but you better make it quick," Rosalie snapped, turning away from me and moving towards her bed. Rosalie's room was dark and similar to Alice's. She had all the same furniture, except her bed was higher with a more elegant headboard and her room had no windows. Her bed had dark red sheets with a thick black comforter and a ton of soft looking, plump red pillows. The walls were all solid black and the ceiling was white.

Her carpet was a deep maroon and the mahogany wood was polished and a little glossier than Alice's. The room was spick and span, a lot cleaner and neater than my girl's too.

After taking it all in, I slowly went inside, watching her glare at me as she leaned against one of the tall bed posts that also differed from Alice's bed, which lacked any bedposts at all.

"I want to know what your problem is," I said slowly, curling my toes into the soft carpet, a bit more anxious now that I was on Rosalie's home ground.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the blond scoffed. "Is that it? You can go now."

That did it. I snapped.

"Would you quit trying to fucking play me! Just tell me what I did so I can make it up to you or whatever! I honestly don't know what your problem with me is, but it's not going to go away and it's obviously getting worse every time you and Alice fight!" I yelled, my fists balling up again.

Her eyes narrowed and I suddenly lost any sense of courage or self righteousness as she crossed her arms and gave me a scorching look.

Cue the puppy dog whimper of fear.

"Fine. You want to know what my problem is? You fuck everything up!" Rosalie shouted back, making me tense and contemplate making a break for the door. It was too late now, though. I was in and there was no backing out now, so I pushed ahead, full throttle.

"How do I fuck everything up?"

"God, how do you _not_ fuck everything up?" Rosalie snorted, rolling her eyes at me.

"That is not a straight answer! Quit dodging the question and just answer it! What exactly do I do to upset you so much, huh? And why does this constitute to you attacking Alice?"

Here, Rosalie's lip curled back in disdain that I couldn't fathom at all.

"_I_ attack _Alice_?" she laughed a sarcastic, scornful laugh. "Who the hell do you think you are, Swan?"

Rosalie suddenly blurred over to me and I yelped, stumbling back and hitting the wall behind me as she backed me up.

Shit. Double shit. I had officially poked the tiger one too many times and was about to pay for it.

"You come into my room, berate me and demand answers like you're the fucking hot shit and deserve some sort of answer from me, as if you deserve anything but the middle finger from me?" Rosalie hissed, trapping me with her arms on either side of my head. I swallowed hard, officially scared.

I wondered if she might actually hurt me…

"L-look…" I started but she cut me off.

"No, you _listen _and listen _well_. Alice is not this angel, not this saint you've created in your mind. She is not perfect, in fact, she's pretty fucked up. She isn't as amazing as you have tricked yourself into thinking. She'll steal your heart and break it into a million, itty bitty pieces before she lets you have it back, smiling the whole damn time," Rosalie growled out and I felt a hot knot of rage tighten in my chest.

Before I realized what I was doing, I slapped her. I full out, open-palmed slapped her marble cheek, feeling my hand sting in protest and watched as her eyes narrowed, her lip pulled back even farther and her fangs dropped.

Oh, God. I'd just slapped Rosalie Lillian Hale.

I am officially insane.

I couldn't help it. Her words ignited a fiery anger inside me. How dare she! How _dare_ she talk about Alice like that!

She didn't know Alice at all…I refused for even a second to entertain these thoughts about Alice. We'd been through too much for me to let Rosalie get to me within two minutes.

Ah, but hitting Rosalie was a terrible mistake…

She yanked my wrists up, slammed them above my head and caused me to cry out in pain as she snarled in my face.

"Do. Not. Push me," Rosalie ground out through clenched teeth and my heart pounded in my chest, thoroughly panicked now.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, gulping as Rosalie's pupils dilated rapidly. I knew I'd stepped on her instincts, several, in fact.

"Just…Please, is that what you hate me so much for? Is it…Is it Alice?" I mumbled, lowering my eyes and trying not to wet myself as she kept me pinned, her chest rumbling. I really hoped she had good control and didn't sink her fangs into my neck, or follow through on what she'd started that day when she'd slammed me into the lockers.

Was Rosalie jealous…? I still didn't know the full extent Rosalie and Alice had taken their relationship to…It was the only explanation I could come up with. She was jealous of me, because I had Alice? And that in turn caused all these problems between all three of us?

Rosalie didn't reply, and I glanced up to see why. I tensed when I saw that familiar expression on her face. Her eyes were inky black and her nostrils were flaring.

"Shut up. Shut _up_," Rosalie hissed, her grip on my wrists trembling as she shook and I realized she wasn't as in control as I'd first thought.

Well.

Triple shit on that then.

Rosalie suddenly let out a harsh whine, turning her head sharply away from me. She was trembling, and I suddenly understood the seriousness of my predicament.

I was alone with Rosalie, who was vamping out rapidly, with no one to come and save me.

What the hell had I been thinking, coming to talk to Rosalie rationally?

"Rosalie…" I whispered, desperately hoping there was some sense of humanity left in her.

She didn't respond. Instead she rumbled, purring low in her throat as my stomach flip flopped in fear.

It seemed that Rosalie had officially vamped out.

And I was officially screwed.

No longer were the Volturi on my mind, my most prominent fear…

Rosalie slowly turned her head back to me and dipped her nose forward, dragging it along the length of my neck, purring softly the whole time. I tensed and began to panic, wondering just what I could do to get away.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

There was no chance I could break her grip on my wrists.

Rosalie suddenly pressed her granite body into me and I whimpered, frightened but I know it only excited her more as she inhaled deeply, right at my pulse point.

Now…Rosalie is not an ugly girl…Not at all. She's not my Alice, but she is gorgeous…A goddess of beauty. She wasn't my type, not what made me melt or look deeper in interest like Alice's unique appearance. Before I'd gotten with Alice, I'd ogled her just as much as my pixie along with the rest of Forks. She was unique herself with her shock of long, white-blond hair flowing over her shoulders and she was more…well endowed than Alice.

Which means her much more ample chest was pressing strongly into mine and she was taller than me, too. I had Alice by a good inch, and Rosalie had _me_ by a good inch. And though Alice's scent was the one that made me high, made me dizzy and drunk, Rosalie smelled good _too_, called to the primal being within me, forced my body to react…Her body did feel so nice against mine…Mm…

Fuck. _Fuck_! Rosalie was releasing pheromones as she ground into me, growling loudly in dominance when I quivered and tried to pull away.

"Stop. Rosalie, stop," I pleaded but Rosalie only growled again, shuddering against me.

With a sudden ferocious display of willpower, Rosalie threw herself away from me, stumbling back and covering her nose with the crook of her elbow.

She refused to look at me as she pointed at her door.

"Get out. Get out, NOW!" she roared and I hastily obeyed, opening the door and throwing myself out, shutting it quickly behind me in case she lost control again and decided not to let me go. Not that the weak, pitiful wooden door could stop her, anyway…

You have got to be shitting me. Please, oh, please, Life, can't you give me a break, just for once?

As soon as I cleared the doorway, I came face to face with a livid Alice.

Fuck. My. Life.


	20. Hey, Monday

Shit.

_Shit_.

Oh, _shit_.

"Alice," I breathed, my heart stopping for a moment as I took in her seething expression, her taut posture.

"What," she started, glaring at me, past me, "the hell is going on?" she finished, staring hard at Rosalie's door.

"Um," How did I explain this?

In hindsight, I knew I'd made a mistake. I should never have barged in on Rosalie like that. I really needed to control my emotions and think things through a little more.

"No, you know what, go wait in my room, please, while I settle this," Alice growled and I tensed as she moved me out of her way and raised her hand to Rosalie's door.

"Don't be too mad at her, okay?" I said slowly, figuring it was best to follow her instructions and stay out of the way of what was probably going to be a hellish argument.

"I'm not mad at _her_," Alice snapped, throwing a withering look at me over her shoulder.

"What…?" The implications were obvious.

"Just go, alright? We'll deal with this in a minute!" Alice scowled and I frowned.

I didn't understand why she was so angry at me. I may be a bit slow sometimes, but I'm not_ that_ slow. She was obviously upset at me…I just didn't understand why.

But then she was knocking softly on Rosalie's door and I was _gone_ faster than that annoying little Mexican mouse. I reached Alice's room in record time and felt my heart still hammering in my chest.

I collapsed on Alice's bed, resting my arms over my eyes.

Jesus.

Vampires are such a handful...

I took a moment to collect my thoughts before I sighed deeply.

I didn't get why Alice was mad at me. I didn't get why Alice was even back yet. I'd assumed the Cullens would be gone for an hour, maybe more.

But, as I thought about it, I realized that maybe, I was in the wrong here. I mean, I knew how vampires were. What had I been thinking, having a go at Rosalie? I felt no guilt for being angry at her, but yelling at her? Slapping her?

Whoa.

I slapped Rosalie Lillian Hale and lived.

Hmm. Maybe my luck's not so shit after all. I was lucky to even get out of her room breathing. Although, I think Alice's appearance had something to do with that. Again, why was she even back? Did she just have this incredible knack to appear when I was in mortal danger?

I didn't have much longer to muse as Alice's door cracked open, allowing in a slight beam of light from the hallway. Her room was relatively dark as twilight approached.

"Hey," I called, sitting up and feeling my heart skip a beat as it always did when I saw Alice.

However, this time, it had nothing to do with her striking beauty. It was because of the angry and disheveled look of her appearance, the annoyance and frustration in her stormy black eyes.

"Hey."

It sounded like she'd practically forced herself to answer me, and as if it was a hardship for her to do so civilly.

Crap.

I'd obviously gotten myself into something bigger than I had realized.

Oh! But that's nothing new is it?

Fuck.

I was a little more hesitant then as I let my legs hang over the edge of her bed and she flipped on her lights, avoiding looking at me. I didn't like that, not at all.

"Alice…?"

She snapped.

"What were you thinking, Bella?" she whirled, eyes blazing and hands balled up, much like mine had been earlier. Only, she looked as intimidating as I'd meant to look.

I tensed.

"I…I don't…" What could I say? I didn't even know what I had been thinking…

"That's just it! You don't think! I don't even care how cliché that sounds because right now, it's nothing but true! What is wrong with you?" Alice yelled, throwing her hands up in exasperation as I swallowed hard.

She's yelling at me…

I loathed it when she yelled at me…I couldn't stand it.

"What are you so upset about?" I cried, standing up and taking a step towards her. I had to wonder what had happened after I'd fled to the safety of her room. What had happened with Rosalie?

"What am I…" Alice's lips parted in genuine shock that made me feel as stupid as she apparently thought I was for that question.

"I'm upset because you just barged in on Rosalie, shouted and demanded answers for things that are not your business and you _slapped_ her! You don't think I should be just a tad upset over that!" Alice raged.

I couldn't stand this. My brain was shutting down. It just didn't compute. Alice being angry at me just didn't work with me. I couldn't think, didn't even feel like I was breathing. My chest felt so tight.

"I was angry, alright? I didn't mean to slap her!" I defended, stopping completely and wrapping my arms around myself in a pitiful attempt to shield myself from her anger.

"You didn't mean to? You didn't mean to raise your hand and propel it at her face?" Alice snorted, crossing her arms as I squirmed beneath her powerful gaze.

"No! I wasn't thinking! God! You think it's not my business that she wails on you like she does? I never meant to hit her but she was talking about you and it made me mad, okay?" I finally raised my own voice as I always did when presented with a verbal assault. I couldn't stand being yelled at.

"No! It's not okay! You think just because she's a vampire you can hit her? You think just because it doesn't hurt us that it's okay? And so what if she was talking about me, that doesn't give you the right to slap her, Bella!"

"No!" I shouted back, turning my head slightly away as if this could help protect me from her fury.

I felt sick, literally sick to my stomach. Alice had never been with me like this, never been angry with me at all as far as I could tell.

"No, what?"

"No, I don't think it's okay to hit you guys!"

"Then why did you!"

"I already told you that!"

"Well that's not good enough, Bella! These excuses aren't good enough! It is not your business to deal with mine and Rosalie's problems! You had no right to go at her like that!" Alice shouted, uncrossing her arms to let them fall tensely by her sides.

"How is it not my business when you're my girlfriend and your problems obviously come back to me?" I cried, squeezing myself tighter as the sound of her anger directed at me made my eardrums rebel, made my heart tighten painfully.

"Bella, Jesus Christ, you just don't get it, do you? Let _me_ handle _my _problems! Rosalie is not someone to mess with, and I certainly won't tolerate you attacking my family! Besides that, she could have killed you!"

"You attack each other all the time!"

Alice snarled once and I cringed away as she put one hand over her face, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I. Will. Handle. That! God! It's not that difficult to understand! But don't you ever think you have the right to interfere with mine and Rosalie's relationship, and don't you ever think you have the right to put your hands on her!"

I felt myself recoiling violently on the inside at everything she was saying, how she was saying it…

"What relationship is that, huh? She seemed pretty goddamn jealous to me earlier!" I finally began to fight back, because if I let all that pain simmer inside me, I'd only end up exploding into tears, which is something I really didn't want.

"That is none of your business! What about that do you not get! Why can't you stop fucking this up!" Alice screamed and my heart stopped, my stomach dropped and my head whipped up in shock and utter hurt.

Alice froze, her lips parting and her eyes softening rapidly.

"Bella…No, Bella, I didn't mean that…"

I wasn't listening.

She was right. I did fuck everything up. Rosalie knew it, everyone at school knew it, hell, even my mother knew it…It's why I was in Forks in the first place…

And now, Alice knew, too.

I ruined everything…There was nothing good about me…I couldn't do anything right…

And the sad truth was, everything Alice was saying was true. I should never have gone at Rosalie like that, should never have slapped her…Should never have even been here in the fucking first place…What was the point, really? I didn't deserve Alice or the kindness of her family…

"I'm sorry," I choked out as the hot press of tears burned at the backs of my eyes and my throat closed rapidly.

I felt like I had before I'd met Alice. I felt insignificant, felt stupid and worthless…I felt just like my peers insisted I was, felt just like I had since the day Renee had shipped me off to Charlie.

I was a fuck up, nothing more. It took Alice acknowledging it for me to acknowledge it once more.

"Bella, wait, please don't cry…I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, Bells…" Alice said quickly, taking a few steps toward me but I shook my head and fought back those damning tears, refusing to cry in front of her as I turned away from her and her midnight eyes.

"I'm sorry," I repeated in a soft whisper as my heart began to break. "I…I s-should go…" I breathed and Alice's whole body pulled taut again.

"No! Wait a minute, Bella! Wait-"

I was already gone, pulling open her door and racing down the hallway. I reached the stairs before a milky white and black blur was in front of me, hands on my shoulders as I winced, the swell of my tears making my eyes water so much that I could barely see.

Don't cry…_Don't_ cry…

I hated, _hated _crying in front of people. It made me feel weak; pathetic…I refused to let her see me cry. I _refused_.

"Bella, stop!" Alice cried, hands on my shoulders and eyes beseeching mine, desperately trying to catch my gaze. I didn't allow it, just ducked my head and shouldered past her, wriggling away from her iron grip.

I couldn't listen to her, couldn't look at her. Couldn't stand to see the pity and the guilt in her eyes…Especially the pity. If I was as worthless and pathetic as I believed, then I could deal with that. I'd been doing it for years. But her pity? No. I'd rather be hated than receive pity.

"Bella," Alice begged, following me all the way to the door as I swiftly moved past a bewildered and concerned Esme, avoided Jasper like the plague and made my mind go blank when I saw Edward coming in from the kitchen with golden eyes, fresh from a hunt.

"Stop! Stop, damn it!" Alice hissed, moving to block the front door.

I didn't look at her. I couldn't.

"Bella, please, will you at least look at me? I'm sorry," Alice whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck and a strangled half sob, half gasp tore from my throat before I could stop it.

Her scent clouded my senses, made my heart squeeze and ache as she embraced me desperately.

I can't…I couldn't…

I was suffocating in her aroma, in her blissful arms, her loving hug as she held me tightly, whispering apologies in my ear.

I didn't process it. I couldn't process it. I was a robot, a broken hearted robot.

No, it was more than that. I was a heartless robot. Alice still had my heart, and Rosalie had promised she would break it before she gave it back, smiling the whole damn time…

But Alice wasn't smiling, and she certainly wasn't giving it back.

"Let go," I whispered in a strained voice.

"No," Alice mumbled back.

"Alice, let go of me!" I shouted, struggling in her arms as the tears began to spill over, streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't handle it, couldn't handle her. It was too much hurt, too much pain at once.

"Bella," Alice gasped, releasing me quickly before I could hurt myself.

"I'm sorry," I said again, my throat contracting and my chest feeling constricted. "I'm sorry…"

And then I was gone, out the door and sprinting for my truck. I heard Alice's despairing call but didn't heed it. I just jumped into my truck and started it before I roared out of her driveway, speeding down the road and sobbing the whole damn time, my stomach flipping and making me nauseous.

I had to stop the car halfway home because I was crying so hard that I couldn't see. I made it home ten minutes later, my entire face red and my eyes swollen painfully. My head ached almost as much as the hole where my heart should have been.

But that's right…Alice still had it.

I wondered if she would be willing to give it back. This hollow hole hurt too much to bear.

"Bella?" Charlie's worried, slightly panicked voice called as I raced up the stairs and slammed my door shut, falling onto my bed like every stupid teen in every stupid been-there-done-that movie does, sobbing my eyes out.

I fell asleep an hour later and vaguely felt Charlie sinking on to the bed, stroking my hair and asking me softly what was wrong but for the millionth time that night, I was already gone…

* * *

When I woke up in the morning my entire skull felt like it had been filled with lead and then had a sledgehammer taken to it. My eyes were raw and stung when I peeled them open. Luckily, Forks' morning light was a gentle blue instead of Phoenix's blazing yellow-orange so it didn't hurt my eyes too much.

"Fuck," I mumbled, cradling my head and staring up at the ceiling as I wacked my alarm clock off the bedside stand, hating it's blaring with a vengeance. It clattered to the floor and shut up, thankfully.

The night before…

I replayed the events over and over, but quickly had to stop as my chest twisted in agony.

Alice…

Oh, Alice…

"Alice," I whispered her name, feeling the tears start again. I bit down on my lip, fighting off the waterworks.

Before I had the chance to break down again, I headed towards my shower, jumping slightly when my phone beeped several times, signaling a new text.

I pulled it out and glanced wearily at the screen.

Fifteen texts, all from Alice.

I couldn't stand the sight of her name on my phone, couldn't stand the ache it started. I deleted them all, ignoring the repetition of the word sorry, and my name, the slight pleading undertone to each that I caught from a glance.

I set my phone down on my sink counter and started a boiling shower, refusing to remember the last shower I'd taken…With Alice…

Needless to say, it was a long motherfucking shower…

* * *

By the time I pulled into the school parking lot on that god forsaken Monday morning, I was ready to commit suicide. I hated life, I hated the color green, the color gold, I hated short people, I hated everything.

I was an emo kid for sure that day.

Ah, but that's not so different than usual, right?

Whatever.

As I yanked my keys out of the ignition and my ancient truck stuttered off, my phone chirped again.

I debated smashing the little fucker against my dashboard, but I saw Alice's name…

I missed her so much. I understood that maybe I'd overreacted, just a bit. I understood that I was probably being stupid and a brat about everything, but I don't think she really understood what those words had done to me…

Blech. I hate self pity as much as the next person, but my chronic depression could be such a bitch. I longed for Alice, longed to erase the previous night, longed to erase my idiotic, emotional reaction but I couldn't. It's just who I was. If someone I loved deliberately took a swing at my ridiculously fragile emotions, I'd break like fucking glass.

Yes, I am perfectly aware of how pathetic and angsty that is. It's not like I could fix it though.

So, I was so desperate to have some sort of connection with Alice that I decided to read this new text.

It said: _Watch out for the pole_.

…What?

Okay…

My brow furrowed and I glared down at my phone screen. I wrote it off to more vampire riddles, but didn't delete the text. My thumb hovered over delete, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't delete Alice…

"Bella!" I lifted my head and caught sight of Angela, Mike, Eric and Jessica a few cars down. They waved and motioned for me to come on.

I sighed. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I didn't want to blow them off either. I didn't want to be alone…

I got out of my car and slowly walked towards them, dragging my feet and blearily greeting them when I reached them.

"You look like shit," Eric commented and Angela slapped his arm lightly. I didn't deny it.

"What? It's true!" Eric protested.

"Shut up, stupid. Bells, what's wrong? You look a mess," Angela said softly, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"Nothing," I mumbled. "Let's go. We're gonna be late."

"Don't give us that, Swan. You look miserable. What, you have a fight with the shortest Cullen or something?" Jessica popped her gum and I glowered at her, scowling deeply.

"Oh. Oh!" she stiffened as she finally caught on.

There you go, Barbie.

"Oh, Bella…Did you guys break up?" Angela asked slowly, concern covering her face as she walked on my left side and Jessica's features softened a bit on my right.

"Yes. No. I don't know," I whined. "Can we not talk about this, please?" I begged. I really wasn't in the mood.

"Uh, sure…Are you gonna be okay, though?" Angela agreed, worry still clouding her eyes.

"Y-yeah…I'll be..." I trailed off as my eyes caught on a familiar, sleek yellow Mercedes across the parking lot.

"Whoa," Mike and Eric breathed as my jaw dropped open.

Oh.

My.

God.

Alice Cullen stepped out of her car clad in a classic school girl outfit, complete with a red plaid skirt and white, button up blouse with knee high white socks and black shoes.

I think I died and went to heaven.

My mouth was hanging open as I continued to walk, twisting my head around to keep my eyes on her.

Jesus.

Fucking.

Christ.

Her messy, short black hair was sweeping over her jaw line as Edward and Jasper got out as well, dressed in black suits. Oh, God. Oh, God. She looked so…

"Bella…" I heard Angela faintly as I ogled her openly, along with Mike and Eric, who I felt like punching as well as the rest of the male (and female) student body approaching the school.

Alice looked so sexy…So drop dead gorgeous…I couldn't even think about the night before as I stared openly at the tastefully exposed creamy skin of her chest and her tight thighs which were barely covered by her skirt…

When did plaid become so hot?

"Earth to Swan! Hey, doofus!"

So beautiful…

"Hey, stupid! Hello!"

So sexy…

"Yo, retard! Watch out for that-"

So…

BANG.

"-pole…" Angela finished, arching an eyebrow as I yelped and stumbled back, cradling my injured jaw while Mike and Eric laughed their asses off.

I'd walked straight into a light pole as I'd been so distracted by Alice's appearance.

Awesome.

"Shut up!" I scowled, glaring at the two males of our group who were doubled up, laughing so hard that there were tears in their eyes.

"Y-you should h-have s-seen your f-face…!" Mike gasped, cradling his stomach.

"Fuck you guys," I mumbled but tensed up, my face going even redder as I noticed Alice looking over at us.

Mind lock.

She had turned around and was walking backwards as she'd gotten in front of us when I'd slowed down like the rest of Forks to ogle her but she kept her eyes on me.

I didn't know what I expected her to do, but smirk slightly and wink at me across the parking lot was not it…

I just froze up and watched her disappear into the school while Angela yanked on my arm, dragging me along as I tried to process her in some way.

All I could think was what the hell is she wearing and why…?

* * *

I made my way towards Biology. In Forks, we have around twenty minutes of free time if we get here early, so a lot of kids do just to hang out or catch up on homework and stuff like that, but no one ever really went to the classrooms early. Everyone just usually waited for the bell to signal class was about to start, so when I walked into the classroom, I didn't expect anyone else to be there.

Wrong.

I froze up once more as my eyes landed on Alice, my beautiful pixie leaning against the teacher's desk with her arms crossed and her legs wound one over the other in her school girl getup, inviting all sorts of inappropriate thoughts to come to mind for me.

Give me a break, Life. Just this once? Pretty please?

"Bella," Alice breathed as our eyes connected.

"Alice…" I replied softly, completely thrown off now.

I didn't know what to say, think, feel or do.

So I did nothing, just waited for her to make the first move.

"Can we…talk?" Alice asked slowly, eyes searching mine.

"I uh…I guess…" I mumbled, shrugging my bag off my shoulder and avoiding her eyes, going towards our desk.

There was an awkward pause.

You know how they say at every awkward pause a gay baby is born?

Well we just made the most flamboyant, feminine male that shall ever grace this earth with his presence, drag queen style and all.

Those parents are going to be so pissed.

"Last night was pretty intense," Alice said, lifting herself onto the front of the teachers desk and watching me. I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my head and it made the back of my neck heat up.

"Yeah," was all I could say as I busied myself pulling out my books.

There was another pause, another gay baby born, maybe a sister for the first one, and then I felt her cool hand on my shoulder. I tensed and looked up quickly, biting my tongue with the effort not to gasp.

She still smelled so good…This close, I couldn't think. My skin tingled beneath her touch.

"Will you at least look at me, Isabella?"

There it was, my whole name. It still sounded so beautiful, so amazing, rolling off her tongue, lilting into the air with her sweet, high voice…

I swallowed and slowly, hesitantly let my eyes meet hers. They were a gorgeous, dark butterscotch today.

"I'm looking at you," I mumbled, stating the obvious.

"Thank you," Alice gave me a small smile that made my heartbeat stumble.

"Look…I shouldn't have blown up on you like that, Bells…I should never have raised my voice at you like that. And to say some of the things that I did…I feel awful, Bella. I didn't mean it, what I said, you know that right? I was just speaking in the heat of the moment, and even after all the time I've walked this earth, even I still don't know how to think before I speak…" Alice spoke softly, her eyes filled with genuine remorse and shame.

"And even though I meant what I said about Rosalie and letting me deal with my problems, I didn't mean…That last part. I didn't mean it then and I don't mean it now…" Alice breathed, her thumb almost unconsciously stroking my neck as she kept her hand on my shoulder, distracting me.

"Then why did you say it?" I choked out, feeling those emotions return almost full force at the thought of what she'd said.

"I told you, I wasn't thinking. I'm such a hypocrite…I was just so upset, Bella. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry for yelling at you like that…You aren't a fuck up, Bells. I am…" Alice apologized, moving in front of me and cupping my cheeks as the tears returned, pushing at my eyes.

"I'm sorry, too. I never meant to go at Rosalie like that, not at all. I was upset, too. I just…Can't you understand how angry it makes me when anyone hurts you? When she talked bad about you, I couldn't think about anything but how pissed I was…I'm sorry, Alice, but how can you ask me not to be bothered when people seem like they're going to hurt you, or are hurting you? You of all people should know what that's like," I told her honestly.

"I know, Bella, I know…I get it okay? I get how it is…All I'm asking is for you to control it, just like I do. It's not okay to do that, and definitely not to Rosalie. If I hadn't shown up when I did…Bella, she could have hurt you, badly. But it's also not okay for me to talk to you like that, to yell and scream…And I am still so sorry for it, too…"

As she spoke, she began to sink down and I blushed, confused. She rested on her knees.

"So I'm asking you, darling, for forgiveness. I'm down on my knees, _begging_ for your forgiveness, because goodness knows I need it and you've already got mine…" Alice breathed, grinning slightly up at me, but I could see that she was sincere.

I laughed slightly, a watery chuckle as I looked down at her and she held my hands in hers, looking up playfully at me. She was just too much sometimes…

"You've got it, Alice. I forgive you, and I want you to forgive me too," I whispered, squeezing her hands and she smiled widely, kissing each of my knuckles and making my heart sing.

I'd overreacted…Honestly, I had. I really needed to work on that.

"Didn't I just tell you I already have, silly?" Alice continued to grin as she slowly stood, leaning to kiss me warmly, softly with her cool lips as her hands rested on my waist and I wanted to squeal happily.

Fighting with Alice sucked, _hard_. I never wanted to go through that again, never wanted to experience it at all. It was technically our first legitimate fight, our first actually angry couple fight.

I never wanted to have another…

I was just thankful that we'd made up within the course of one day. Our relationship may not have been exactly perfect…But at least we could fix these kinks…

"You know I love you, don't you? So much, Bells, I love you so much…" Alice whispered in my ear and I shivered as her sweet breath ghosted over its sensitive shell.

"I love you more," I grinned against the cold marble skin of her shoulder, kissing her softly. I felt her arms wrap around my back as she kissed a path over my jaw line, whispering kisses over my pulse point and making me a bit dizzy.

"Wanna bet?" Alice smirked against my lips, brushing her own heart shaped lips against them.

"Bet against the person who can see the future? No thanks," I smiled.

"No, really. Let me prove it to you. I love you more and you know it," Alice insisted, kissing me a lot more firmly then. I moaned, melting into her as her tongue painted circles around the inside of my mouth, swiping over the sensitive roof.

I swooned into her, clutching the back of her silk blouse.

"What're you wearing this for, anyway?" I inquired, my knees buckling as she smirked, supporting me and kissing my neck now.

We were making out in the Biology classroom, and she was wearing a school girl outfit…

Mm, I was definitely not complaining now.

My eyes closed and my breath hitched as she found her favorite spot to torture, my pulse point. She sucked and nibbled on the tender flesh, making me whimper slightly. She purred at the noise.

"School project," she mumbled, slicking her tongue over the new bruise she'd made and causing my lips to part in delight as she cupped the back of my head in her hand and walked me backwards slowly until the backs of my knees hit the teacher's desk.

"What kind of project?" I was barely coherent then as she pushed me back, lifting me by my thighs to place me easily on the desk before she stood between them, kissing me hungrily.

"Shh," she hushed, sucking on my tongue and making me moan again, clutch at her shoulders.

Make up making out…

This was great.

Although…

"W-wait…Alice, class starts in like…seven minutes…" I protested but she just smirked again, licking the shell of my ear.

"We can be quick. Actually, I know you can be quick…"

I turned twenty shades of red. She was right though. I couldn't last at all. Even for my first time, as a girl, she'd gotten me off in two minutes flat and in the shower…

Wait a minute, she wanted to have sex? I thought she just wanted to make out!

"Hold on! We can't have sex here and now!" I squeaked as she pushed her hands under my shirt and lapped at my neck, purring the whole time.

"Why not? All you have to do is be quiet and I'll see anyone coming…" Alice murmured, kissing up and down my neck as my breath hitched when her cool hands came into contact with my abdomen.

"Including you…" Alice continued as I began to lose all rational thought or ability to protest.

"B-but…"

Shit. She had me. There was no way I could make her stop now. Her hands were slipping under my bra, thumbing my nipples and turning them rigid. I whimpered again, biting my lip as she ducked her head, kissing over my collarbone.

Maybe I really was easy…Was it that bad that with a few words in a suave voice and some kissing that Alice could get into my pants?

…Yes.

But I didn't care.

"You know, you shouldn't be embarrassed that you're fast…You're not a guy, after all. I love how easily I can get you going, how quickly I can make you wet…" Alice whispered, cupping and massaging my breasts under my shirt as I wriggled and my face flushed.

She was talking…Oh, God. I couldn't stand it when Alice talked dirty to me. I'd quickly discovered that after our first time, Alice had a real mouth on her, one she loved to use to make me blush like mad.

But it did get me going badly, I couldn't deny that. When Alice talked to me, I melted into my underwear.

"You're already soaked, Bella…Oh gods, you smell so good, too…" Alice moaned, scraping her nails gently over the undersides of my breasts. The thought that she could actually smell my arousal made my head swim and made me slick instantly…

"Alice…" I squeaked but she only smirked again.

We'd gone from making up, to making out, and were well on our way to making love…

My hormones blocked all protests from leaving me. I was terrified that we'd get caught, but I couldn't make her magic hands stop, nor her magic tongue that was writhing against my own.

She pushed me back and climbed on top of me, straddling my hips as she pushed my shirt and bra up, out of her way but not off. She looked so sexy, settled on my waist in her school girl get up and minxish smirk never leaving her face, even as she dropped her head and began to suck wantonly on my breasts.

She tortured both rosy, swollen buds for a good minute and a half before I began to break down.

"Alice, we can't…Alice, someone's gonna walk in," I whimpered out, my head thrown back as she pampered my chest with wet kisses, her venom driving me wild.

"I can see the future, remember?" Alice giggled, scraping her nails over my ribs and my head lolled.

"But if you really need me to hurry so bad, I will Bells. I can smell how hot you're getting…Do you need me to take care of you?" Alice mumbled into the valley of my breasts and my cheeks burned with my blush.

"Yes…" I managed to get out because the suspense the fear that someone would walk in had me on edge almost as much as Alice did, and because I knew she wouldn't move until I gave her an answer.

She smiled up at me, winked and then unsnapped my jeans. She jumped off of me to stand in front of me. She ripped my zipper down and pulled both my jeans and my sopping underwear down in one motion and my whole body turned red as she left them at my ankles.

"My, my…You really are excited; you're _glistening_…You're so beautiful…" Alice grinned; sliding one finger down my folds, brushing my throbbing clit and making my eyes water with want.

"A-Alice, please…" I squeaked, open and vulnerable to her eyes. I couldn't stand it. I hissed at the feel of her cool skin on my heated, slick flesh and bit my lip, looking up at the ceiling because it was too embarrassing to look at her looking at me.

Before I could do or say anything else, I felt it. Her cold, silky tongue slid up my folds and my eyes rolled into the back of my skull. She licked and licked and licked as I cried out, biting into my knuckle as she whispered for me to be quiet.

I writhed, squirming beneath her strong tongue as it pressed against my aching clit, stroking rapidly, too quickly for human speed. I curled my toes inside my shoes, feeling my heart spasm as my…other muscles spasmed as well. I almost bit through my tongue as she plunged two fingers inside and began a maddening rhythm. In, out, in, out…

"Alice," I choked out, groaning and bucking my hips desperately. I was already close…But it had only been around thirty seconds…

I couldn't hold it. It felt so good, the sparks dancing at the backs of my eyes, the intense tingle of her venom coating my sensitive button…

And then her tongue pressed hard and flat against my clit and began to _vibrate_.

"F-fuck-"

My voice was high and it broke as my head hit the desk hard and I came, my thighs trapping Alice's head in my bliss. It happened again, that wonderful, unearthly feeling, prolonging my orgasm for a good minute and a half.

When I finally came down from my high, Alice was lapping me clean. It felt so nice and I was utterly satisfied.

"Did you ever find out what that was?" I mumbled, stroking her hair as she kissed me once and began to pull my pants up while we both basked in the afterglow.

"Mm, yes, but I'll have to tell you later. Class is going to start in about two minutes and the teacher is about forty five seconds away," Alice replied, her voice still a bit raspy.

My eyes went wide but she was already on it, fixing my shirt and my sex hair, but not before she took the time to suck the fingers of her right hand clean and offer her left one to me. She'd masturbated while she went down on me…And I couldn't refuse the offer. I licked her fingers clean, mouth watering at her taste and she had to pry them out of my mouth.

By the time the teacher walked in, we were both sitting at our desks, and the only thing that might have given us away was our huge smiles that we couldn't wipe away. My body was still buzzing, thriving off whatever it was that happened every time she made me climax, and there was no way in hell I could stop the grin on my face.

That, coupled with the fact that we were no longer fighting made for a particularly large smile that made the teacher give us a very weirded out look, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the girl next to me, holding my hand tightly under the desk as the bell rang to start the day…

And I had to admit, when Alice was involved, Mondays weren't so bad after all.


	21. Heart of Stone, Body of Stone

As the day went on, I was in a much better mood, but I was still a bit bothered by our fight. It was just this nagging thought at the back of my mind, made me a little wary around Alice. I didn't like that she'd been able to raise her voice at me like that. I certainly didn't like how I'd reacted to it though.

I'm not one of those freaky girls who can just blow off abuse or be like, they love me so they won't do it again or some bullshit like that. I'm not saying I thought Alice was gonna go all abusive girlfriend on me, but still…

She'd yelled pretty loudly.

And my reaction?

I hadn't even really fought her back, even though I had plenty to say. I knew I shouldn't have hit Rosalie and felt bad for it too. But still, to go off on me that way? To just blow up so easily?

I just didn't like it. I didn't like the way it made me feel and I didn't like how I'd just run away. She had no right to keep me in the dark like this. After all we'd been through, was it really so hard to just tell me what was going on with her and Rosalie?

It just felt like she had something to hide from me.

However, I didn't bring it up.

I'm not going to lie; I didn't want to start fighting with her again. That one fight wasn't enough to erase the amazing way she made me feel, just by grinning over at me, smirking that smirk, brushing against me in the hallway…

I loved her, that hadn't and wouldn't change. I just…It was just bugging me, and I didn't know how to bring it up to her the right way or at the right time.

When it came right down to it, I had no proverbial balls. Her sweet golden eyes melted me in an instant, her beaming smile made my heartbeat stumble, and I just couldn't get my mind to remember that she'd upset me.

That is, until she disappeared from my sight.

Then I was right back where I started. I didn't like feeling like I couldn't bring it up with her, and vowed I would before we parted ways at the end of the day, because I wasn't quite sure if she'd drop by to watch over me at night. She hadn't been doing it since Victoria had disappeared, but sometimes she did stop in to kiss me goodnight, which took all of five seconds to an hour, depending on what the kiss morphed into and whether or not Charlie was in bed or not.

Anyways.

I also still felt pretty shitty for hitting Rosalie like that. I mean, I didn't want to be that kind of person. I didn't want to be the person who couldn't control their temper so much that it came down to physical violence. Just no. Vampire or not, the intent was still there.

Besides, it was…Well…Maybe not completely uncalled for. She did kind of had me trapped between her arms and was all up in my grill-Goddamn it, I really need to stop picking up on Mike and Eric's stupid terms- but slapping her was a bit much. Still…

I felt bad, that was the point. I wanted to apologize but, like I said, I have no proverbial balls.

To put it simply, Rosalie scared the living shit out of me.

She could look downright terrifying when the mood overcame her, and it so often did. She'd either freeze you to the bone with a look so cold you would literally shiver, or she'd burn your eyes out with a glare so scorching and furious that you'd have to turn away to save your retina's from having the image of her fury burned into your eyeballs for all eternity.

Get it?

Rosalie was not someone you wanted to piss off or annoy. Not even jokingly. I gave some thought to that and realized that part of Alice's anger may have been her way of covering the panic she'd had at the thought that Rosalie really, honestly could have hurt me.

Or fucked me as an act of dominance.

Never rule anything out.

I could still remember Carlisle describing her powers. Hmm.

Despite all this, I still felt the overwhelming need to apologize. My conscious was driving me mad.

So, maybe it was a spark of insanity when Rosalie asked to go to the bathroom halfway through the day in Math class to ask if I could go too so I could apologize, but ya know, my life is pretty much nothing but insane now-a-days.

So, I just went with it.

I should know better by now.

"Mr. Charles, can I go to the bathroom, too?"

"Yes, Ms. Swan, but no dilly-dallying or fraternizing with Ms. Hale, please. If you two take too long, I'll have to give you attention."

"Yes, sir."

And that's how it went. I followed after the blond, who had already left and therefore did not know I was following her.

Or so I thought.

I just caught a flash of white-blond hair turning the corner and quickly went after it. The bathroom wasn't far; it was down that hallway she'd just turned onto. A moment later, I was tentatively peeking in through the door, the damnable thing creaking and grating on my already razzled nerves.

I suddenly realized something.

Why would Rosalie need to go to the bathroom?

Vampires had eliminated the need for removing waste, a fact of which I was very envious. Their Vampriosia cells destroyed all the waste or fat in their body the same way our white blood cells would destroy bacteria and all that. Carlisle tended to ramble when it came to medical stuff.

That came about a split second before my WTF moment hit me like a kick in the face. One second I was peeking into the bathroom and then I was yanked inside, whirled and tossed, not exactly hard but not gently either into the bathroom wall.

"What the hell are you following me for, Swan?" Rosalie snapped, kicking the door shut behind her as I tried to focus my rolling eyes. The move had me razzle dazzled and I was trying to focus on her.

"Okay, that was uncalled for," I grumbled, glaring weakly at her. You can't exactly glare at Rosalie. It's like glaring at a lioness. It just doesn't work so I quickly stopped and shook my head, wondering if I'd made a mistake.

Really? You think, Genius? You're only thinking it might be a mistake, _now_? Not as soon as this insane idea popped into your head?

Shut _up_, subconscious.

"Uncalled for?" Rosalie scoffed, looking at me in genuine shock that made me feel entirely stupid. "No, you know what, I'm not even going to go there right now. Look, what do you want? You come after me to slap me around some more? Want to have another go at me or something?"

"What? No," I protested as she locked her jaw and glared daggers into my eyes, intent on piercing my soul.

Come on, don't exaggerate, Bella…She's not _that_ scary.

I glanced at her blazing golden eyes.

Actually, yes, she is _that _scary.

"Then what?" Rosalie snapped, lips thin and arms crossed as she kept giving me the death glare.

"I came to apologize!" I almost yelled, desperately trying to get her to stop looking at me like she could turn me to ashes before it actually worked.

Hell, vampires existed. Who's to say looks couldn't actually kill? Nothing was impossible to me anymore.

Honestly, though, I couldn't blame her. The last time I'd come to 'talk' with her, she'd almost ended up chomping on my neck or shoving her hand down my pants, while also being totally bitch slapped by an annoying little uppity human.

I can't believe I just found a use for the word uppity, either, but whatever. Like I said, anything's possible.

"Apologize…?" Rosalie said slowly, eyeing me with a disbelieving look.

"Yes," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck.

In her angry move to throw me against the wall, she'd actually tossed me across the bathroom to hit the wall opposite the door. I hadn't actually registered that, hadn't actually registered much of anything but the fact that I was no longer where I previously was and that my eyes were rolling in their sockets like a bad cartoon in an effort to refocus.

Rosalie said nothing as I squirmed beneath her unwavering glare.

I wished she would, I couldn't really think about anything but the fact that I was about to piss myself when she wasn't talking. At least I could think about what she was saying instead of curling up into the fetal position.

"So, uh, I-I'm, you know…S-sorry?"

Excuse me, but even to my ears that sounded horribly pathetic. My voice was small and that stupid stutter was back with a vengeance.

Rosalie snorted.

"Whatever. I'm leaving," the blond shook her head, turning for the door.

"No, wait-Hold on!" I protested quickly, taking the few steps it took to get to her and put my hand on her elbow to stop her.

Mistake.

She halted completely and whipped her head down to my arm before she whipped it back up to glare at me.

"S-sorry," I mumbled, pulling my hand back quickly as she curled her lip in what I could only see as disgust.

Yep, touching Rosalie was a no-no.

"Look…Please don't just brush this off, okay? I really am sorry," I insisted in a soft voice, beseeching her, hoping she had some bit of forgiveness in her heart.

I honestly didn't want to fight with her anymore. I was sick of all this stupidity.

"Fine. Awesome. Good for you. Feel better now? Okay then. Goodbye," Rosalie rolled her eyes and once again made for the exit.

For fucks sake…

I huffed and stomped my foot like I was five years old but damn it, she was positively infuriating! No wonder I slapped her!

"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" I shouted, exasperated and she turned again, incredulous at my semi-temper tantrum and the full use of her name like I was Esme but I didn't even care at that point.

"Why are you being like this!" I pleaded with her to answer me.

Rosalie scowled deeply.

"I'm not being like _this _or like _that_. I'm not doing _any_thing. You think you can bullshit me? The only reason you're apologizing is to please Alice and you _know_ it," Rosalie snapped, fists clenching, which did not go unnoticed by me, but still, by then, I was too indignant to care.

"I am _not_! I am _sorry_ I hit you and I'm sorry I yelled at you but please, _please_, why can't you just tell me why you hate me so much? What did I do to make you hate me?" I begged, not even yelling, my voice low and almost desperate. I was so sick of this.

Rosalie actually paused at that, her features softening which shocked the hell out of me. She frowned slightly, her lips pursing a bit.

"I don't…I don't hate you," she said slowly, running a hand through her hair and watching me warily.

"You sure do act like it," I muttered back, watching her just as warily.

We were both quiet for a moment, just looking at each other.

"I don't mean to…" Rosalie answered suddenly, arms held loosely by her sides and her posture no longer so tense. She wasn't even glaring at me anymore. I couldn't even read the expression on her face.

"I just don't get why you're so angry at me, and I don't get why you and Alice fight all the time and I _know_ it's because of me, I just don't know _why_. I don't get it. You've hated me from day one and I don't understand why," I replied.

The new twist the conversation had taken was one that brought me relief. It was weird not to see Rosalie looking anything but pissed or apathetic, but still. It beat having her try to turn me to stone like Medusa.

"I don't hate you," Rosalie repeated in a firmer voice, looking actually offended now.

Okay…

"Then why do you act this way?" I inquired and Rosalie suddenly went to expressionless mode. Her face smoothed out like a mask and she turned away from me, headed for the door.

"I'm going back to class before we get detention."

"Damn it, Rosalie! Stop doing that! Why can't you just answer me for once instead of running away!" I yelled, grabbing onto her shoulder.

I can't believe I did it again.

Like, Britney Spears didn't even come close to this 'Oops, I did it again' moment.

Rosalie whirled and grabbed my wrist, throwing it back at me so hard that I winced in whiplash.

"Do. Not. Touch me," she hissed, lip curling back in a snarl and I saw her fangs dip ever so slightly.

I debated making a run for that five inch window behind me in the wall, then wondered why anyone would make a five inch window in the first place. How was I supposed to escape through that?

"Just…God! You are…GAH!" I threw my hands up in exasperation, unable to find any word for her as I made an unintelligible noise of frustration that had her eyebrows shooting up and a scoff leaving her.

"I'm GAH?" she mocked my noise and I blushed vibrantly. "You're GAH!" she snorted back, her eyes blazing again and I scowled a bit.

"Very mature."

"Oh, don't even go there. You want to talk about maturity, Swan?"

"Mocking me is not mature!"

"Yeah, but banging Alice seven minutes before class starts is," Rosalie rolled her eyes and my cheeks burned.

"H-how did you-"

"Know? You're not the quietest person, are you? The whole school pretty much knows."

Dear God.

Was I really _that_ loud? The whole _school _knew Alice had gone down on me this morning?

"T-that's beside the point!" I shrieked but Rosalie rolled her eyes for the millionth time and turned on her heel.

"This is retarded. I'm leaving."

"Rosa fricking Lie!" I screeched, utterly fed up at that point. "Will you stop PMSing for like five seconds and just talk to me instead of-"

I deserved it. Really, I deserved a lot worse, if you ask me.

I, once again, grabbed onto her arm to prevent her from leaving.

Rosalie didn't say anything, gave me no time to react as she shoved me, hard. I stumbled back and crashed into the wall as she let loose a snarl that made the hair on the back of neck stand on end.

I had not merely poked the tiger with a stick.

I'd kicked it in the balls, insulted its mother and danced in front of it wearing an obnoxiously bright orange Hawaiian T-shirt as I kicked dirt in its eyes.

Rosalie was in front of me in seconds, baring her glistening fangs and growling low in her throat.

"Stop touching me!" she hissed, nose a centimeter from mine.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I whimpered quickly, a wave of Déjà vu hitting me.

I hadn't meant to, honestly. I was just…I just didn't want to do this anymore. I was tired of fighting with her, tired of seeing her fight with Alice, just tired of it.

I trembled, scared. I bit my lip and angled my head away from her, my heart hammering. My eyes watered as I tried not to cry. Having Rosalie at my throat twice in one week was just too much for me to take.

Rosalie suddenly stiffened and straightened up, parting her lips as her eyes went so much softer.

"I didn't…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that…D-don't…Please don't cry…" Rosalie breathed, taking a step back, her eyes flickering over my face as her fangs pulled back and I breathed in sharply.

We were both silent again as I avoided her eyes.

"…Do I really scare you that much?" Rosalie asked in a quiet voice, a tone I'd not heard from her before.

I glanced up and was shocked to see how small she looked. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes were on the floor, her lips pursed again.

"Rosalie…"

"I shouldn't have…I overreact too much. I'm sorry," she whispered, lifting her head slowly to meet my eyes and I was absolutely floored at the shine in her eyes, the pained look in her face.

"You don't have to be sorry. I was the one provoking you, I mean…"

Rosalie turned her head away and I trailed off.

"Look…" she said after a moment. "I don't hate you. I don't mean to act like I do, okay? But I don't hate you. Don't _ever_ think that I hate you. I could never hate you, Bella."

I think that's the first time she's ever used my name like that.

I tilted my head, completely confused and thrown off by her attitude now.

"Rose, I don't hate you either. I shouldn't agitate you, but I'm just so frustrated. I don't get why you act like you do, so what should I think? You act like you hate me, so why shouldn't I think that you do?"

She pursed her lips again and let her arms fall to her sides. She shook her head and then turned her face back to me, amber eyes sparked with that fire once more.

Damn it.

"It's none of your business. Just let it go."

My voice rose like a wave of angry exasperation and hers rose to meet it.

"Stop! Just stop! Stop doing that! Stop running away from this! Why can't you ever just give me an answer!"

"Let. It. _Go_! It doesn't even matter anymore!"

"Is it because you're jealous? Huh? Is that it?"

"You're delusional. Don't be so fucking conceited."

"I'm not being conceited! What? Do you like Alice?"

"No, goddamn it! _Let it go_, Swan!"

"Do you _love_ her?"

"I don't love _Alice_!" Rosalie suddenly snarled.

In the process of our shouting match, we'd moved closer and closer, raising our voices as we went. We were almost in each other's faces, and the only reason I had grown the proverbial balls to stand toe to toe with the blond temptress was because I was so high strung at that point.

At that, though, my brow furrowed in confusion.

"What? I don't get it," I scowled, crossing my arms and tilting my chin up to stare in annoyance at her, as she still had that intimidating height advantage.

"You're so oblivious," Rosalie scoffed, a slight laugh leaving her that was anything but humorous.

"You don't get it, do you? You will _never_ get it," Rosalie snapped, glaring down at me as she leaned in a bit, intimidating me enough to back the hell up. She, however, went after me, backing me up slowly, step by step.

"Think about it. Just _think_ about it for a second. You want to know why I act the way I do? Huh?" Rosalie ground out through clenched teeth, stalking my every move.

I blushed and kept moving backwards, overwhelmed by her.

"It's because I'm angry and I'm depressed and I hate it! I hate it, I fucking hate it! I hate Alice for having what I can't, I hate that I hate her because I love her, too and it's not her fault and GODDAMN it I'm sick of hating everything! I'm sick of being so angry all the time!" Rosalie raged, eyes filled with passion and pain that I just couldn't grasp. I finally ran out of room and hit the wall.

"Rosalie-" I breathed as I hit the wall and she let out a hysteric half laugh, half sob.

Well.

She just might be crazy after all.

I am so sick of being up against a wall like this, too, by the way.

"I'm not jealous of _you_, Bella. I'm jealous of _Alice_," Rosalie snapped, slamming her hands on either side of my head and trapping me. Her flaming amber eyes bore into mine and I could see her willing me to understand what she refused to say.

"Why?" I whispered softly.

I was always a little slow but that was a little ridiculous, even for me.

Rosalie let out a scoff that raked across my ears and tilted her head down towards me.

"I'm not jealous of Alice. I don't _love._ _Alice_. You can_not_ be that stupid," she whispered back, not even in an insulting way, even though it was still quite insulting.

But it was true.

Her voice was broken now and I just didn't comprehend. My mind refused to even accept that possibility, the possibility that…

"Bella," she murmured, her eyes shining with tears she couldn't spill and her jaw clenched tightly.

She…

Rosalie dipped her head forward and down a bit, her cool lips brushing softly against mine in a kiss so chaste I wondered if it had even happened, but the slight twinge her venom caused made it real.

Loved me…

I gasped and then she was gone, the door banging shut behind her.

For a long moment, I could do nothing but stare, open mouthed at the door.

"What the FUCK!" I finally screamed, my chest heaving as my eyes went wide. "I am so sick of this nonsensical _BULL_shit! Screw this! No, uh-uh. I'm not even…Just _NO_!"

I was fully aware of how insane it would have looked had someone walked in on me yelling to myself, but I honestly did not give a flying fuck at that point. I was so exasperated, confused, fed up, I just couldn't bring myself to care.

Rosalie loved me.

Rosalie was in love with me.

Rosalie.

Love.

Me.

"Oh, God," I whimpered, letting my head fall into my hands as it all became clear, cliché as that sounds.

This possibility had never occurred to me, was not even allowed in my realm of possibilities, and that was saying something. My realm encompassed _vampires_, but the thought that Rosalie loved me, was in love with me just did not compute. 'Anything's possible' except _that_. I was on overload at that point and nearly shit myself when the bell rang, signaling the end of class.

Detention, here I come.

"Fuck…Just fuck," I whispered to myself, standing and making for the door, needing badly to talk to Alice…

…Or not talk to Alice.

I stiffened as I left the bathroom and watched kids spill out of their classrooms, filling the hallways with noise and clatter.

How could I possibly tell my possessive girlfriend that nearly turned Angela into a smear on the wall for linking her arm through mine in the way that girls did with other girls that vampire Rosalie, the woman who she feared the most as a potential threat of taking me as a mate, was in love with me?

Had _kissed_ me?

Even barely?

Jesus…

No way.

"Hey, YOU! Isabella Swan!"

You have got to be kidding me…

Now, really, of all times, Life? _Really_?

You know what? I officially hate you, Life.

You can go such a huge di-

"Ms. Swan, you entirely skipped my period! You have a week of detention! Be lucky I don't send you to the office and have you suspended!" Mr. Charles barked, moving through the wave of students in his path to get to me.

It took all my power not to flip him the bird with both hands and walk away as he scolded me for the entire five minute break between periods.

As soon as he left, I turned and slammed my head hard into the lockers beside me, nearly knocking myself out cold.

It didn't solve anything, left me with an unattractive red mark on my forehead and started a vicious, unrelenting headache.

Before I could dwell on this, I heard loud voices in the quieter hallway as the bell rang again. They were coming from around the corner and they were all too familiar.

"Rosalie!"

"Alice, now really is not the time-"

"Shut the hell _up_!"

My eyes went wide as a loud crack echoed through the hallway and several loud yells followed it. I didn't hesitate, just tore off down the hallway and skidded around the corner, knowing exactly what that noise was.

Rosalie was up against the left side of the hall, against the lockers as Alice stood in front of her, chest heaving, ebony eyes storming. Rosalie's head was swung to the side and I couldn't see it properly. There were several kids left and they had stopped to watch, whispering filling the halls as they watched the two standoff.

"How could you?" Alice hissed, fists clenched at her sides. "How _could_ you?"

She couldn't possibly know, could she…? How could she know what had just happened between us?

But wait, she could. Her visions…Had she seen it happen and been unable to stop it? Had she seen Rosalie kiss me? I couldn't think of any other reason she'd be there, going at Rosalie like this.

Rosalie didn't respond as Alice's lip curled, a snarl beginning. And I heard it, barely, the low rumble coming from Rosalie. The blond was shaking, head still to the side. I assumed Alice had struck her or something like that.

Suddenly, an unearthly, ungodly terrifying roar ripped from Rosalie's very core, her mouth opening and her fangs dropping fully, unsheathing completely. She slammed into Alice with a bang like a shotgun going off, crashing them into the lockers on the other side of the hall, creating a huge dent in the metal.

Aw…Shit.

The kids cried out in excitement, backing up to give them room as what they thought was going to be an epic fight.

"Did you see that?"

"Oh, man! Rosalie just took Alice _down_! Look at that dent!"

"That was crazy!"

Yep. Oh. _Shit_.

"Alice!" I screamed, my stomach dropping, my heart in my throat in fear for my girl.

Rosalie had finally had enough. I couldn't blame her. She'd been slapped around, yelled at, had her emotions ripped around, and it was finally too much for her.

There was a crack as Alice's legs shot out straight, feet hitting Rosalie's hips and sending her flying backwards into the other lockers, denting them too as Rosalie hit them hard.

The kids were getting louder now and now the doors were opening as more students were rushing back out to see what the commotion was.

They didn't know. They couldn't possibly know that this wasn't an ordinary fight but an all out vampire brawl. But they would soon, when people noticed their bared fangs, the noises they were releasing, their unexplainable strength. No human could dent solid metal like that.

"Stop it! Stop!" I screamed, running towards them.

I must have been out of my mind completely at that point.

All I could think about was Alice. I was so frightened for her, so afraid that Rosalie would seriously injure her in the state they were both in.

Rosalie and Alice clashed in the middle of the hall, snarling and growling like animals, and they _were_. Alice wasn't weak by any means, but Rosalie was just too strong. She drove her fist into Alice's face, sending her flying down the hall and…

Into me.

I couldn't move. I didn't have time to dodge that blur of stone pixie careening towards me.

"Shit," was all I got out before my world exploded.

Alice hit me, going probably around thirty miles an hour, shoulders first, right in the ribs. I didn't have any air left in my lungs to scream as my ribs cracked violently and I went flying back with her. We went another ten feet before we crashed down, Alice on top of me and only further smashing my already broken bones.

I whimpered softly, my vision going black as agony rip-roared through me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't _breathe_. I shuddered, trying to be sick but my body just couldn't perform that action at that point. It was too much, the pain was indescribable.

The last thing I heard was Alice screaming my name before I fell into the blissful, welcoming arms of unconsciousness.


	22. Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire

The lights were spinning above me, blurring like fluorescent flame. My head felt heavy, my chest tight. I was vaguely aware that I wasn't breathing.

But I could hear the screaming.

"BELLA! Let go of me! Let me go! Bella, _BELLA_!"

Why do angels cry my name? This can't be heaven…Am I dead? My stomach hurts…

My head fell back and the sweet darkness came over me again.

* * *

The pain was strong, constricting my chest as I jerked, screaming.

"Careful, careful! Stop jostling her, idiots!"

Oh, God, I'm dying. This is hell. It has to be.

I dry heaved as someone cursed faintly in the recesses of my mind. There was pressure on my sides, on my chest, crushing me.

I passed out again.

* * *

"Bella…"

I groaned softly, shifting as I heard a sweet, melancholy voice lilt into the air. My eyes were closed…But there was no pain. I hadn't registered time, didn't know where I was, what was happening…

All I remembered was Alice slamming into me, agony and her screaming, her heart wrenching cries before I passed out.

Hmm…Am I dead?

I am going to be _so_ pissed if I am. I swear, I'm going to haunt some motherfuckers…Just as soon as I…Can…Move…

Fuck. I can't even open my eyes.

"Please, Bella…I'm so sorry…Don't leave me here…"

I can't answer you, Alice…She's crying. I can hear the slight hitch in her voice, the broken plea. Oh, God, it broke my heart. I wanted to answer, but my throat wouldn't work. I tried to feel my body, but all I could sense was strong, cool hands on my abdomen.

They weren't Alice's. They were too big, too manly…

"Wake up, Bells…Please, wake up…"

I'm trying…

"I know…You'll never be able to forgive me for this…I know it, and I don't deserve it, either…Not for what I've done, for who I've become…"

I was struggling in the blanket of darkness, the heaviness in my limbs. My head was whirling as I tried to get my bearings, tried to fight into the world. I just couldn't move. My eyelids were heavy. I was aware that I was lying on something soft, a bed, perhaps…

"I've done wrong to you, to my family…So many times…I nearly raped you the first time you told me you needed space…"

That didn't count! I wanted to scream in frustration.

Open, damn you, you stupid eyelids!

It wasn't rape though. It was never that way. She'd been high strung, wound up, her world had been coming apart…In fact, her world had been falling to pieces ever since we got together. Her instincts were already nearly uncontrollable, but she'd gotten better…I held nothing against her. I just couldn't tell her that. Why was she even talking about all of this?

"And I've hurt you…Oh, God, I don't even mean your body, Bella…I saw your heart breaking when I screamed at you…I'm an abusive girlfriend, aren't I? I'm such a horrible person, Bells…I don't mean to be, though, and I don't mean to sound so pathetic…But it's true, isn't it? You're lying here, dying…Because of me…"

"Stop it!"

Oh, thank you, Esme. I wanted to yell and shout. I couldn't tell her to shut up, that it wasn't true…

"That is enough. I never thought you'd be the one to wallow in self pity, Alice. You didn't mean to go flying through the air and hit her, did you?"

"That's not the point! It's because of my petty jealousy that Rosalie and I were fighting in the first place! It's because of me that Rosalie is gone and no one knows where the hell where! It's because of me that Bella's _dying_! I'm no good! It's not self pity! It's self_ loathing_!"Alice cried back.

I hated this darkness, the throbbing of my skull, the inability to understand what was going on. I just needed to open my frigging eyes, to say something.

Wait…Wait, I'm _dying_…?

Well…Shit.

"Enough! Have you forgotten the years you spent, the decades you went through this world as a shell, a zombie, a ghost of nothing? You had no one, you felt nothing, you _had_ nothing! Your eyes were hollow, Alice! Your very heart was hollow! You cared for nothing, for no one. But then Bella came and your eyes lit up, you were alive again, you _cared_ and you're willing to sit there and act like that was something bad?"

Thank you, Esme for saying what I can't…I hadn't known about all that, though. I didn't know much about Alice's life before me at all, really.

I was having a war with my body. There was no pain which bewildered me, but my brain was screaming obscenities at it to _do_ something. I didn't need to wake up to this. My head was whirling.

The fight, Alice crashing into me and now I'm here and she's talking and damn it, why can't I _move_!

"Not for me! For _her_! I've never done anything good for her, never made her happy, never made her feel like I do! I've never been able to do anything but hurt her! God, and what happens when she wakes up, huh? She'll never forgive me for this, and she shouldn't…I shouldn't even be here…She should just…Be with Rosalie…I'm obviously not the person for her…"

That did it. My brain was through asking and pleading.

"BULLSHIT!" I yelled, which turned out to be a mistake as my eyes peeled open just in time to slam back shut before I could even see anything. The ragged coughing fit hit me hard as my chest tightened and my throat burned.

"Bella!"

There was a clatter of noise and the cool hands pressed down a little harder, a wave of warmth rolled over my body and I managed to gulp down some air and _breathe_.

Shit…I must be really fucked up…

After a moment of stillness and silence I managed to open my eyes again.

My vision was blurry, unfocused and a wave of dizzy vertigo hit me, but it passed as my eyes began to chill out. The only light came from the moon pouring in through…Alice's window.

I was in Alice's room, lying on her bed. I don't know how I ended up here. I'd expected a hospital or something but I guess not. I could only guess as to what may have happened after I'd blacked out.

I swallowed a bit, turning my head tentatively to gather my bearings. Carlisle was sitting on a chair beside the bed, sleeves rolled back and hands on my…

Holy SHIT.

My eyes widened as I saw the purplish black mass all over my sides and parts of my stomach. Oh…I could even see a slight dent on my right side where my ribs had caved in…

Damn…I really am fucked up…

I noticed that there was a slight tingle coming from Carlisle's hands…Come to think of it, why was he touching me?

His powers…He can heal. I had almost forgotten…Was that what he was doing? Healing me? I could feel little to no pain as he kept his steady doctor's hands on my abdomen. I remembered the agony I'd felt when Alice had hit me, so much pain that I'd wanted to puke, so much that it had made me pass out. I glanced at my right arm and frowned. It was bent at a weird angle…

I suddenly remembered how Alice had hit me, right side first. I'd managed to shift a bit in an effort to shield myself from the collision (As if) and turned my right side, my strong side instinctively towards her.

I then slowly turned again, my head elevated on Alice's pillows. I spotted Jasper and Edward leaning against the wall at the end of the bed, faces tight and worried. I saw Esme, settled at my feet, face concerned and extremely motherly.

I saw Alice.

Her already disheveled hair was wild, messy and actually looking unkempt instead of just sexy. She was standing by Carlisle, wide, ebony eyes shining and gleaming in the moonlight pouring over her glimmering skin. Her bottom lip was quivering slightly and she was hugging herself.

"Bullshit…" I whispered, my eyes catching hers. They widened.

"Bella…Bella! You're awake!" she sobbed, taking a step toward me, a hand going towards my face but then she hesitated, bit her lip and pulled it back quickly.

A wave of frustrated irritation hit me.

"Bullshit," I repeated louder, more firmly, trying to ignore what was wrong with my body because I just didn't want to go there right now. Besides, Alice's words had struck a chord inside me, jarring my thoughts right to her.

"What?" Alice's brow furrowed and I felt Esme shift on the bed.

"I said bullshit. Everything you just said…That's what it is. You think…You really think that, do you? Really?" I scowled, weakly, just now realizing that I really wasn't fit to be scolding someone.

I felt…Heavy…Weighted down. Broken. Not my emotions, but my body. It felt broken. And it was.

"Bella…I…You heard all that?"

"Yes, I heard it. I can't believe you. I can't_ believe_ you. After everything we've been through, you think…God!" I was aghast. She was delusional. She had to be. There was no way she could possibly think that she didn't make me feel good. She made my heart beat faster or stop completely, made me feel on top of the world, amazing…

And because she's made a few mistakes, she's going to be like this? Tell me she's not the right person for me? Tell me I should be with _Rosalie_?

No. No _way_.

Alice didn't know what to say. She pursed her lips and looked bewildered as I shook my head slightly. I couldn't blame her. Seconds ago I'd been silent and unconscious and now I was pretty much shouting at her. I wasn't even thinking about everything that had happened or that I was hurt, badly. I just wanted her to stop saying what she was saying.

"Told you," I heard Esme mutter and couldn't stop the slight grin on my face.

Alice looked so lost and I hated it. I hated the heartbroken expression on her face, the tremble in her body. I hated that she thought she couldn't touch me, thought she wasn't allowed anymore.

Okay, well, maybe she shouldn't touch me because I'm really messed up, but still. My face was perfectly fine…I think. I didn't feel anything broken above my neck. Of course, with Carlisle's hands on me, I didn't feel much at all. However, I wasn't ready to go there yet.

I wasn't ready to think that I might be…Dying…

"Listen to me. You _listen_ to me, Mary Alice Brandon. I love you. I love you and don't you _dare_ act like you can just walk away from this, act like you'd be doing me a _favor_ by walking away."

Alice opened her mouth to protest and I let my voice rise as much is it could without inspiring another painful coughing fit.

"No! Don't even! Esme's right! Don't pity yourself, don't loathe yourself! I know you've made mistakes and yes, you've hurt me, but I've hurt you too, don't you see? I came into your life and suddenly you can't control yourself. I know what I make you feel like sometimes. I know you feel like a monster every time you want to touch me like _that_, or think about how it would be if you lost control. I know it and I hate it. I know you don't ever want to tell me that you're hurting, that you're upset or you're _scared_ but I can see it and I hate it because I know I am at least partly to blame."

Alice shook her head and turned away from me but I didn't stop. I was not going to let this happen. No. She wasn't going to sit there and beat herself up about this. I suppose maybe the first thing I did when waking up shouldn't have been to get on Alice like this, but something inside me had recoiled harshly at her words and I didn't even have time to freak out or be confused. I just needed to make she knew how it really was, so I didn't even care how weird it was for me to just wake up and start yelling at her.

"You think you do nothing but hurt me? You think when I smile and brush against your hand in the hallways, it's an accident? It's not. It's because I want to hold your hand, because I want to feel you. I want you to look at me and smile back, want to see how much you love me because it makes me feel downright incredible. I love all the little things you do, the scribbles on your notebooks of my name, the way you try to act all tough but you're my total Snuggle Bunny when we're alone…"

I wasn't ashamed, not now to use her nickname. Yes, I'd deemed her my Snuggle Bunny (Shut up…) because Alice loved to cuddle, more than she wanted to have sex even.

Esme's wide smile made me blush but I just pushed on.

"I love you. I _love_ you, Alice, more than anything and I swear if you even think about leaving me, I will kick your ass. I don't know how, but I'll find a way. And if you try and run, I swear I'll chase you to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the universe, because I am _not_ going to let your stupid ass Hero complex ruin everything we have. No way in hell," I finished, my heart ringing in my ears.

It was true. I was not about to let her walk away from this pretending like it had never happened because she'd messed up a few times. No. _No_.

"Bella…"

"And I should _not _be with Rosalie. I don't know what all _that_ was about, but you are the only one for me. You're it for me, Alice. It's you. It's always been you," I whispered, my strength waning after my little rant. "You've messed up, no doubt. But so have I, okay? And…If I'm dying right now, even if I don't feel like it, it's not your fault…"

It was hard to add that last part. I didn't want to think that my life was ending. But I honestly didn't feel that bad. Really. I felt okay, at least. I knew I _looked _like shit, but I didn't _feel _like shit. Could Alice have really hit me that hard? I didn't feel like I was dying…The concept just didn't compute with me.

"About that…" Carlisle interrupted, clearing his throat a bit awkwardly as Alice's bottom lip began to quiver again. Her midnight eyes were swirling and I wanted so much to fling myself into her arms, to hug her and make it all go away. I don't think I helped her frazzled emotions by exploding out of unconsciousness like that at her but whatever.

To be honest, Alice had done some pretty messed up things. She had hurt me, true…She had made mistakes, big ones, too. But so had I…She wasn't perfect. I wouldn't want her if she was. She never intentionally tried to hurt me, never would, either. I was sure of that. She'd been goofing up a lot lately, but I knew it wasn't her fault. I had never taken a step back to think about what she was going through, how she was feeling.

I had to admit, Alice was probably going crazy, she just never told me. For years she'd been waiting for me, aching for me. And what Esme had said…She'd probably needed me without knowing it for even longer. I didn't know about all that, about what else Alice might have been through…

All I knew was that Alice was probably a lot more on edge than she would ever let on. Her confidence was becoming more of a façade to me now. She was more afraid than she would ever admit. As soon as we got together, the world conspired to tear us apart and Alice was desperately digging her fingers in, holding on tight. Victoria, the Volturi…It was no wonder she'd yelled at me like that. She'd probably been so high strung and worried for me at that point, feeling like everything was her fault, like she'd put me in danger just by being with me.

And I suddenly couldn't be so upset with her for responding to Rosalie like that, to responding to any girl who even looked at me for too long like that…

Think about it. It must have seemed like the entire universe was trying to take me away. We barely ever had any peaceful time together. It must have felt like she was going to get me, only to have to lose me right after. She'd been waiting too long to give me up like that. I could only guess as to the panic Alice might have been feeling when she saw the vision of Rosalie kissing me, because I was pretty solidly sure that that's how she knew. Alice must have worried that I would actually leave her, that I would pick Rosalie over her or something…

But there was no chance of that. I felt awful for Rosalie, what she must be going through, but no. She wasn't my Alice, wasn't my lifeline, my heartbeat, what made me high. She wasn't my drug.

She wasn't my _Alice_.

I wondered vaguely how it would have been if Rosalie had kissed me that day in detention instead of Alice. Would I have picked her…?

I didn't think so. There was something deep; deep inside my body, my soul, my heart if you will that gravitated to Alice with an undeniable pull, a push that sent me crashing into her. It wasn't just love, it was something _more_, something primal and something I could not refuse.

Call me cliché, but Alice felt _meant_ for me.

I was pulled out of my musing as Carlisle began to talk.

"Bella…I'm afraid that you _are _dying. The only thing keeping you conscious, breathing at all is my powers. I'd go more in depth on that, but now's not really not the time. I'm surprised that you can talk at all, let alone scold my daughter right after waking, however much she deserves it, but you've always been an anomaly. When Alice collided with you, she broke all of the ribs in your right side, and one punctured your lung, while another punctured your heart…"

_Fuck_ me…

"Your left leg snapped in an effort to brace, and your right arm broke in several places, shattering it completely…Your right shoulder is completely out of place, both of your hips are broken, and your collarbone in all is completely decimated, though it may not look that way…If I were to remove my hands, the pain would knock you unconscious within seconds…Alice hitting you was the equivalent of being hit by your truck…"

_Fuck_ me _sideways_…

I hadn't realized the extent of the damage…That granite skin, the force with which Alice had hit me was too great…Damn it, Rosalie…Damn you and your godly strength…

"I am struggling to keep you alive, but you've got less than an hour…If I were to stop, you'd be dead probably faster than it took for you to pass out. The only reason you're here and not dead in a hospital is because Alice saw you dying in a vision and we brought you here instead…Besides, after my daughters' little display, we're going to be found out. Alice, with the help of my other children managed to escape with you before anyone could stop us, but her visions predict that our house will be under siege in about thirty minutes by the police…Your father isn't too happy with Alice at the moment…"

Oh, no…The reality of the situation was starting to sink in. From the moment Rosalie and Alice had begun to fight, I think I subconsciously knew things were about to change drastically. But this was all too _fast_. One second I'm having a normal school day, the next I'm lying broken and dying in Alice's bed.

Fuck my life.

But I couldn't think about the Cullens being exposed. I couldn't think about what would happen when the police arrived, what needed to be done…

All I could think about was that I was dying…And I couldn't be saved…

I didn't feel like I was dying, but I knew I was. I glanced down at my body, feeling the slight bumps on my collarbone as my chin touched it, spotted the massive bruising and ugly blotching on my sides, the crookedness of my leg, felt the limpness in my arm…

I'm dying…

"I can't save you…I can't, Bella…This damage is too much…Even with my powers at their peak, your body is shutting down. You only breathe because I'm touching you, you're only conscious because I'm healing you…You're only thinking because your brain suffered no damage, but your heart is failing even as we speak and your lungs are not inflating properly…You may not feel it, but it's happening and I just can't stop it…I'm sorry…"

No…No…No! Not like this, never like this. Not now, not now! It's not supposed to happen this way!

"I…"

What could I say to that?

Alice suddenly let out a snarl, a frustrated, pained snarl. I don't think she had actually been thinking about me really dying. I don't think she'd been feeling like it was real, either as she watched me lying in her bed as I'd been unconscious. I could relate to her want to deny it, to refuse to believe it.

What a way to come back to the world, huh? You wake up only to find out you're totally screwed.

Awesome. Just frigging _awesome_.

"No! No _way_! This is not going to go down like this! You have to do something, Daddy, please…" Alice choked, eyes beseeching him.

Esme stood and I saw Jasper and Edward wince in sympathy…Where was Emmett, though? I didn't have time to wonder or even care…

Esme's arms went around Alice but Alice was shaking her head, her eyes locking on mine.

And if I had to choose one moment, one last thought…She would be it. I let my eyes roam across her, all of her, taking in as much of her as I could.

I'm not going to lie. I was petrified. I wasn't ready to go, and damn it I wasn't ready to be away from her, not yet…Not ever…

Her shimmering skin, her perfect, heart shaped lips, her sweet golden or black eyes, I didn't care for the color, only the emotion, the girl behind them…Her kisses, her words, the way she made me feel…I couldn't believe this was how it was going to end…No _way_…I didn't even have time to process it. I'd been conscious for no more than five minutes and now I have to deal with this? That I'm dying?

I didn't know what to say. There wasn't much I could say.

Hey, I'm dying? Well whoopty fucking doo!

It's not like I could _do_ anything. I couldn't even move. This just wasn't fair…For a long moment no one said anything as Alice trembled and I tried to wrap my head around it. I don't think anyone had any idea of what to say.

"There is…One way…"

My ears perked and Alice's head whipped towards her father. There was a moment, a passing of understanding and then Alice was shaking her head again as I felt Carlisle's cool hands emitting a soft, comforting warmth, keeping the pain, the reality at bay as my head whirled and whirled.

"No. No! Not that! There has to be another way!" Alice shouted, Esme's arms wrapped tightly around her from behind in a motherly embrace that Alice didn't seem to want to break as she allowed it.

"What? What is it?" I inquired, wincing as I felt a sudden sharp pain in my chest. Carlisle noticed and the warmth billowed out more, soothing the ache away…

No one said anything and then Edward said softly, "Carlisle is suggesting we change you."

For a moment, I didn't understand. Change me…? Then it hit me.

The only way to save me would be to change me into a vampire.

I paused slowly and Alice was still shaking her head in complete rejection of the idea.

"Why not?" I breathed, speaking to Alice who bit her lip.

"Because."

"Because why?"

I didn't understand. It was a chance to save me yet she rejected it solidly, denied it completely. I'd given some thought to the idea of being a vampire, wondered what it would be like. I wasn't really keen on the idea of Alice staying young forever while I grew old and wrinkly. I'd considered what it would be like to walk as gracefully as they did, be as strong. I'd been thinking about broaching the subject with Alice, but I hadn't really ever thought that it would happen.

Especially not now, not like this. Not because Alice had accidentally bowled me over because of a cat fight with her sister.

"Look what it's done to me! Look what it turns you into! You become a monster, Bella! You live only by the murder or slaughter of innocent creatures, you turn into an _animal_! You lose control of yourself, you turn into something awful, something cold and cruel and-" Alice exploded.

"Oh, shut up. Stop being so melodramatic!" Esme suddenly cut her off. "That's bullshit. Everything in this world lives by the death of others. Life and death go hand in hand, that's how it _is_. Bella eats meat which is dead animals, so don't even go there. And to say that you have no control, that you're cruel or you're a monster, Alice? My little Lullaby, how long have you been so delusional?"

Esme, the voice of reason once again said everything I was thinking.

Lullaby, though? Aw…Even on the brink of death, the nickname for Alice was absolutely adorable. I'd have smiled, but ya know…

"I'm not delusional! She doesn't have to kill the animals, does she? She doesn't have to watch them _die, _see their fear and _like_ it! She doesn't have to long to kill any human, does she? Just by what rushes through their veins. She doesn't have to feel like a _murderer_. She doesn't have to feel like a nymphomaniac any time something with tits and an ass breathes too hard! She doesn't have to feel like a pervert! She doesn't have to feel her heart _breaking _all the time! She doesn't have to be like this! She doesn't have to be like _me_! God!" Alice was thrashing in Esme's arms now, dry sobbing with watery eyes but Esme held her tightly, refusing to let go.

"My Lullaby, my sweet Lullaby…" she whispered and Carlisle looked like he longed to comfort his adopted daughter as well, but couldn't move from me.

I wondered which hurt more. Being crushed by Alice or watching her go to pieces like that…She struggled and finally went limp in Esme's arms, heaving and sobbing hard. Her eyes were closed and she was only standing because Esme still held her close, whispering softly in her ear, hushing her gently.

Obviously, Alice was a much better actress than I'd thought. She'd been keeping all this to herself, bottling up her pain and insecurities, never showing that she might be hurting as much as she was. She'd always looked so happy, so content, except for when the time called for other emotion. Even from afar, when we hadn't been together, she'd looked so jovial, so untouched by the world…

Alice, oh, Alice…

My cheeks were wet and I could feel hot tears pouring out of my eyes.

"No…No, no, no! Alice, NO! It's not like that at all!" I cried, feeling my heart clench painfully, and it had nothing to do with the bone puncturing it. Or did it? I didn't know. I didn't care.

"You're not a monster! You are the most incredible, most amazing person I've ever met! All you care about is making everyone else happy, making me happy! All you do is worry for the ones you love! No monster would break down about killing animals, no pervert would feel bad about urges everyone has! And so damn what if they're stronger as a vampire! Apparently, so is your love, so is your _heart_, Alice! You…You're not a monster…You're not…" My voice went softer as Alice's eyes opened, boring into mine as her chin trembled and Esme rocked her slowly. Her breath hitched every now and then but she'd stopped crying at least.

I knew Jasper was using his powers, but it wasn't doing much.

"You're a wonderful person and I know you've made mistakes, but who hasn't? You are so beautiful, so strong and don't ever think that you're a bad person because you're _not_. You're _not _and I can't stand to see you this way…Please, p-please don't feel this way…Please don't feel like you're anything but incredible…I love you, Alice…And if I were to die right now, I want you to know that it would be worth it…Because, even just for a little while, I got to be with you…" I choked and she closed her eyes, turning her head away, breathing in deeply and slowly.

Come to think of it, my own chest was going up and down in a rapid, shallow motion. I couldn't really feel myself breathing. It only reminded me that I was _dying_.

I still couldn't wrap my head around that thought, so I distracted myself with Alice, tried not to think about it too much. I didn't care how cliché we sounded, how bad Hallmark movie it was. It was true.

Alice was my everything. I couldn't imagine living without Alice. I'd rather die with her than live without her. I could honestly say that I'd do it all over again, because Alice just meant too much to me, Lifetime moment be damned.

"No, no, no! Do you know how badly it would hurt if you were changed? Me hitting you is nothing compared to the feel of venom rushing through you, burning you alive from the inside! I don't want you to feel that! And what about your family, huh? Do you think Charlie will just let us take you and run?" Alice shouted, her voice breaking. She was panicking, so thoroughly frustrated and on the edge because she was about to lose me and the only way to save me horrified her.

"I'll see him again, won't I? I'll find a way to explain some day, but I think he'd rather have me as a vampire than dead, Alice…" I replied weakly, my throat scratching a bit. I actually had no idea what the Cullens planned to do about that, after I was changed. They couldn't just leave me lying here afterwards for the police to find.

"It would only be that way if one of us changed her, Alice, and we've become quite adept at disappearing without a trace…" Carlisle murmured and I didn't quite understand.

Alice stiffened and then shook her head again.

"I can't. I _can't_," Alice whispered and I tensed as a sudden hot wave of darkness hit me. I think I blacked out for a moment before I was rushing back into the real world, gasping as I tried to pull in enough air to keep living.

It hurt, too. There was pain beginning to intensify in my chest and my sides and Carlisle's hands were becoming hotter as it did.

I'm dying…I'm dying…Slowly but surely, my life was dwindling. Shit...Alice really needed to get a grip. If not for herself then for me. I wasn't about to let her let me die because of a guilt trip or because she didn't want it to hurt. I didn't give a damn at that point. The semi blackout had me on edge.

I didn't want to _die_.

There it was. The one thought that had been on my mind since Alice had even mentioned it. I didn't want to die. My stomach flip flopped with fear. I wasn't ready. I was _terrified_.

"Yes, I think you can. There was blood pouring out of her mouth, Alice and you didn't even bare your fangs. You just grabbed her and ran. Not even Rosalie could do that. She couldn't even help you. You wiped it away before you ran into us, didn't even think about tasting it. You can do it," Jasper insisted and Alice for the millionth time shook her head.

"I wasn't thinking about that. I wanted to, I did, so much. But Bella was hurt and I didn't think. I just wanted to save her," Alice whispered.

"It's the same way now! Bella's dying. She needs you to help her, Alice. Your mate is dying and you can save her. Just think about it the same way. Don't think about how she tastes, how she feels, think about protecting her, keeping her alive, _saving_ her," Esme encouraged and Alice let out a frustrated growl.

"I can't-"

"You can!"

"No, I-"

"You're strong enough, Alice. We know you are."

"I am _not_-"

"It's up to you, Alice. You can save her, or Carlisle can. You can let it hurt, or you can do it yourself and it will be the most incredible experience you've ever had but either way, we're not going to just let her go," Esme said as the Cullens called words of encouragement and trust and Alice roared, breaking free of her mother's grip and spinning around her, away from the bed to pace and stalk around like a caged animal.

I hadn't really been given a choice in the matter, but that was fine because at that moment, I didn't care how it happened, I just wanted to _live_. Besides, I don't think Esme would have let me pick anyway. She'd become a second mother to me and I really doubted she'd be willing to just let me go when there was a way to keep me.

"This is too much, too fast! It wasn't supposed to happen this way, nothing was supposed to turn out like this!" Alice cried.

The rolling blackouts were happening faster and I was beginning to panic. Carlisle noticed and pressed his hands down harder into me. Alice snarled and hissed whirling on her heel again and again as she battled herself.

I agreed, this was way too much, way too fast. My head didn't comprehend anything but the fact that I was dying and if I was changed, I'd live. I didn't have room to think about anything but that. I didn't have the ability to think about it in depth. I'd just woken from a semi coma to be told I'm about to pass away, and I was in semi survival mode. I wanted to live and if that was the only way…

Still, some time would have been nice.

Ah, but we've been over that before, right?

Nothing in my life ever goes slowly. I just have to barrel ahead, keep up or be left behind.

"Alice, we're running out of time. I miscalculated. Bella doesn't have an hour. She has minutes," Carlisle informed them in a firm voice. He didn't sound panicked but he did sound insistent. He'd noticed my inability to stay completely conscious and the erratic rise and fall of my chest, my lack of speaking.

Alice suddenly let out a furious, animalistic cry and crouched down, head bowed between her knees, hiding her face. Her hands clutched at her hair and she stayed that way for a good thirty precious seconds.

For a long moment, she didn't even move.

Slowly, she lifted her head and stood, miserable black eyes going straight to me. She walked over as I struggled to remain conscious.

"Bella…" she whispered, lip quivering again as she bent over me, our eyes connecting and my lids fluttering. "You pick…I can't…It's up to you…"

I swallowed hard. I didn't even need to think about it.

"You. I pick you. I want you to do it," I answered without hesitation, instantly and she let out a watery chuckle, a slight smile coming to her face.

"I was afraid of that," she murmured, a cool hand stroking my cheek as Carlisle's fingertips ground into my stomach. Her eyes closed before opening again, harder than before. She turned to Carlisle.

"How are we going to do this?"

My heart felt like it was spasming in my chest and I felt sick. We'd come to a decision. Alice was going to do it. She wasn't fighting it anymore. She'd resigned herself.

I'm going to be a vampire…Or Alice is going to kill me trying. This thought was the most prominent of all.

I hadn't expected any of this. I hadn't expected when I woke up that morning to have a near death experience that was still hell bent on finishing the job, wasn't expecting to find out that I was going to have to be changed into a vampire to stay alive, to stay with Alice…

It was just too damn fast…But it was the only option…We didn't have time to think about it, didn't have time to hesitate. The police were on their way, my father, the chief of police was on his way.

I could see a bit of the humor in the situation. Alice knocks the hell out of me then takes off and disappears with me. Bet that looked just a bit odd to people. Mm, but once again, we didn't have time to dwell on it. It felt as if there was no control anymore. We were helpless with this turn of events. We just had to go with it.

"We don't have time to move her. You'll have to be quick, Alice. The police are going to be here soon. We will leave the room to give you two some privacy, but we won't be able to stop you if you lose control, Alice. It's up to you to take just enough," Carlisle said in a matter of fact tone and Alice nodded, finally accepting the inevitable.

She was going to change me…I'd be a vampire…Or she'd kill me…Either way, whatever was going to happen needed to happen soon. I could feel my body failing me, struggling to _live_.

"As soon as I lift my hands, you need to bite, Alice. The rest of you clear out. Interrupting a vampire in a feeding session, especially from her incapacitated mate is not a good idea. I'm surprised you've even let me touch her, Alice. Most vampires don't let anyone come near their mate when they're injured."

Alice shrugged, eyes still on my own fluttering ones.

"I've got a lot on my mind," she mumbled and I grinned up at her, weakly.

We were in this now. There was no stopping it. We had to do this, at least to stay together.

You know, Life, you're such a weird fucker, aren't you? Just decide one day that I'm going to get knocked the fuck out by my girlfriend and then maybe toss in a little vampire transformation, just for the hell of it.

Oh, and let's not forget the love declaration that caused all of it!

Piss off, Life.

…Actually, don't. I need you right now, more than ever.

"I won't be able to stay and make sure it goes correctly, so as soon as you bite her, I'm going to leave the room. When you've finished, you need to leave immediately so that we can take measures to evade the police. Jasper, Edward, you two will be in charge of taking Bella to the car when it's done. Alice, I want you to stay close to me, and do _not_ look at Bella when Jasper and Edward bring her out," Carlisle spoke and as he did the Cullens were already leaving the room until it was just me, Alice and Carlisle. "I know it will be difficult, almost impossibly so, but you've got to find the will, baby girl. I know you can do it."

Alice nodded, hesitantly and I felt myself falling into the blackness of her eyes, losing myself.

"Will it hurt?" The childish question fell from my lips without permission, whimpered out. I couldn't help it.

Carlisle gave me a gentle smile and shook his head.

"It will be the most amazing, incredible feeling in all the world. Being changed by your mate is godly, Bella. The ecstasy will be unrivaled."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Alice whispered, slowly moving onto the bed, throwing a leg carefully over my waist, not touching me at all. She lowered herself and my head began to throb from lack of oxygen and all the thoughts rushing through my brain.

The blackout hit me hard, knocking me unconscious for a good five seconds before I struggled back again, refusing to give up so easily.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid it's going to feel too good to quit. It would be better if it hurt you, because I'd _want_ to stop. How am I supposed to make myself stop making you feel like that, stop making you feel so good?" Alice asked in a desperate whisper and I answered with the last of my strength.

"Because it will save me. It will keep me alive. Because I trust you. Because I love you, Alice, and I know you won't let me down. I trust you. _I love you_," I choked out and the last thing I saw was her eyes filled with determination at my words, with passion and fire before my heavy lids shut, permanently this time.

"This is going to be difficult, but I know you have it in you, Alice. When you feel her heart stop for three seconds, that's when you need to stop, okay? When I say now, I'm going to pull my hands away and you need to bite her as soon as I do," Carlisle's voice sounded so far away…

The darkness was so soothing…It would be so easy to just fade away…Into the nothing…It called to me, promised all this would go away…No more vampires, no more confusion, no more anything…

No more Alice…

"Okay," Alice whispered and I felt her cool breath ghosting over my lips before she kissed me softly, so softly…And then her breath was on my neck, puffing onto the left side…

"One…"

"I love you, Bella…"

I'm slipping away…

"Two…"

"I…Love you…More…"

"Three. NOW!"

Carlisle's hands jerked away as I fell into the black abyss just in time to feel icy fangs plunge into my nonexistent pulse point.


	23. A Whole New World

As suddenly as I'd plunged into the inky, never ending darkness, I was yanked right back out of it. It was like being doused in ice water so cold that it burned, but in a _good _way, an incredible way, a _godly_ way.

I think I tried to scream but only managed a weak, sharp cry. I felt _everything_; the tug on my neck as Alice let out a hungry whimper, a snarl and pulled, dragging hard on my veins. I felt the rush inside my body, felt every nerve, every pore, every cell light on icy fire.

And I came. I came so hard I couldn't breathe, or maybe that was my lungs struggling to inflate as my body melted into mind blowing ecstasy. My eyes were wide open but all I could see was a blur, a hot white blur. I curled my toes, tried to arch but I couldn't. I felt Alice pushing down into me, one hand cradling my neck, the tips of her fingers digging in as she drank me. My head had fallen back and god, it was so amazing…So _good_…

I was vaguely aware that my body couldn't take the pressure Alice was putting on it but I felt no pain. It was nothing but pleasure, pure, unadulterated pleasure. I squirmed, needing her, my thoughts meshing into nothing as I clawed at her back with my one good arm.

I'm going insane…I have to be…I can't think…Alice…Alice…_Alice_!

I felt my body beginning to give as Alice let out a harsh whine, the pull on my pulse point lessening but only for a moment as my heartbeat stuttered and went still.

_One…_

My heart wasn't working.

_Two…_

I whimpered as the pleasure began to make me lose my mind, my throat closing as Alice trembled on top of me, still tugging on my fading bloodstream, unable to pull back.

_Three…_

My eyes rolled back and slid shut as endorphins filled my brain even as the lack of oxygen began to kill my brain cells.

_Four…_

My heart still wouldn't beat, not when Alice was dragging on the blood it would send out.

She's not going to stop…She can't…  
_  
Five…_

Alice let out a frustrated whimper into my neck, but I was already slipping away.

_It's okay…I forgive you, Alice…You tried…_

Everything went black.

* * *

I let out a delirious moan, my head lolling as my brain sloshed around, broken, cogs trying to turn but only juddering and grinding with the gears.

I was floating in cool arms, flying slowly through the world, my eyes fluttering.

So wonderful…

This has to be heaven…I guess Alice couldn't do it after all…I wondered how the hell I'd managed to do that…If there was a God, he must have some weird reasons for letting me of all people in…

"Bella…Shh…It's okay, Bells, I've got you…"

I don't even know what's going on, but that must be an angel, with a lilting wind chime voice, calling to me…

She sounds a lot like Alice, now that I think about it…

I couldn't see anything but a colorful blur as I slipped back into the sweet darkness.

* * *

There was bright, warm yellow light pouring into my vision. The world was rushing by me, and I was lying in its arms, unaware, unable to think, but my body felt too damn good for me to care…

"Bella…"

Hmm…The angel is back…

My head dipped back and I moaned softly, enjoying the feel of being high like this. My eye lids pulled back but there was nothing but a yellow tinted blur, green, endless green splattered through its patches…

"We'll be in Volterra soon, sweetie. She'll be okay…"

"I almost didn't stop though…I could have…"

"Almost is not the same as doing something, Lullaby…She's going to make it…"

"I know…I just want her to wake up…To look at me…To tell me everything is going to be okay…"

"I think she is looking at you, though. Check her out. Her mouth is hanging open. Ha! Look at her eyes! She looks _drunk_. She's even smiling. I really don't think you hurt her. She looks quite happy, actually…"

Sweet voices, angels speaking…Mm, I don't know what they're talking about. I feel so amazing…Ah, but here comes that easy darkness, folding me into its arms once more…

* * *

I was conscious again, barely so…My body no longer felt so light, so airy…I felt solid, but no less good. I still felt incredible, like I was in a constant state of orgasm…I really had no idea what the hell was going on or what was happening, and I honestly didn't care…

"Soon, my child, soon…You will wake and your nightmare will become my dream, will become our reality…"

Something cool brushed over my sensitive skin and I moaned weakly, unable to respond.

Those words haunted me, brushed against my cocoon of ecstasy, taunting me as I fell into the black abyss again, for the last time.

* * *

Slowly, I became a part of the conscious world once more. I was aware, suddenly. The darkness became nothing more than my eyes closed, preventing me from seeing the world instead of an endless void of no thinking, no feeling.

I could think, yes…But I felt different. My thinking process didn't work the same, didn't allow me to form thoughts the way it should have. I felt like there was two parts of me, the original me and then something deeper, more primal awoken beside it, both of them trying to morph together and form thoughts.

I couldn't…Remember much…I knew that the original me was trying to, to figure out what was missing, what was different…It drove me mad…

The primal part was restless.

Where am I? What's going on?

Slowly, warily, I peeled my eyes open.

The world as I knew it was gone. It was like someone had taken me and put my vision in high definition, straight up HD. Everything was clear, crystal, sharp and new.

I was staring up at a ceiling, a mosaic forming a demon and an angel twisting around each other, both humanoid, locked in still battle, whites and reds, blues and golds, every color in the rainbow was lit up somewhere in my realm of vision, the entire spectrum finding some way to insert itself into my mind.

I turned slowly, feeling the slow, steady thrum of my heartbeat, a gentle cadence. The room was painted gold on solid brick, adorned with paintings of gorgeous people, with blood red eyes…

I glanced down, wondering what I was lying on. It was soft and warm. It was a bed with luxurious red silk sheets, thick, fluffy white pillows that my head rested on. There was a bed stand, glossy mahogany and a rich red holding an ornate lamp that sent an orange glow about the room on the right side of the bed. On the left side was a tall, open window with a long bench like seat beneath it, plush red cushioning for the seating. There was no other furniture.

I was trying to get my bearings, trying to understand. I was in unfamiliar territory, didn't know quite how I'd gotten there.

"Bella…"

My head whipped up and before my human brain could even react, I was on my bare feet, crouched down in the center of the bed, my eyes wide and landing on the source of the voice. I hadn't meant to do it, hadn't even realized it but I was hissing, warning the intruder to back off.

I felt something dip inside my mouth, understood that my fangs were dropping in further warning.

I have fangs?

I let my eyes roam over the person who'd spoken…And suddenly I felt no threat. I pondered it for a moment, but as my eyes took in the short stature, the bright, wide golden eyes, the short, messy black hair, pale pink, heart shaped lips that I'd kissed…

Only one thought came to mind.

_My mate._

"Oh my God, you're awake!"

She had a sweet, rich, high voice that was very pleasant to my ears. I wasn't sure what she was so excited about, but right then, I wasn't sure about much of anything, other than the fact that I had a very attractive mate…

She was standing in the door way, clad in a small black tank top and short blue shorts, the top riding up and exposing a strip of creamy white skin.

I felt no need to remain in my aggressive posture, especially when she suddenly clamped her mouth shut and tensed a bit. I had no desire to attack her, and certainly didn't want to make her feel threatened.

She was my mate.

I relaxed, sitting back on my haunches and tilting my head at her.

I should say something…

_Say something? How does one…Do so?_

The original me was once again furious about the lack of ability to remember anything, even how to communicate properly. There were bits and pieces of my memory floating around in my head, but nothing solid.

I didn't know how to communicate with her, not with speech.

"Bella…I…Carlisle! Esme! She's awake!" My mate suddenly called over her shoulder, wary butterscotch eyes still trained on me.

Neither of us knew what to do, so we both continued to stare at each other. My entire body felt strong, felt powerful and new. I took the time to flex my muscles lightly, feel the strength in my form.

Something had been gnawing at the back of my mind, insistent but I'd ignored it in favor of assessing my surroundings, trying to figure out what was going on.

However, when my mate's breath hitched slightly, when I felt something release into the air, realized it was coming from _me_, I could ignore it no more.

_I want to touch her…_

I felt the vibration in my chest before I heard it, the low, rumbling purr emanating from my throat. She shifted, still in the door way, and faintly, very faintly, I heard footsteps, but there was something much more pressing and interesting on my mind.

Without thinking about it, I was off the bed in a smooth, graceful leap, landing on lush white carpet, my nerves feeling every fiber within it. It felt nice to my feet and I curled my toes, purring warmly as my mate's eyes went wide and she took a hesitant step back.

The air felt thicker, hotter. I felt my nostrils flare as a scent suddenly caught my nose.

_She's wet._

I growled softly, still purring as I stood in front of the girl, a good two inches taller than her. I tilted my head down, inhaling the musky scent mixed in with her own sweet aroma.

She smelled like…Fresh rain, like water…Like a rushing river filled with snowmelt in spring…She was sweet…

She has a name…I knew she did…I just couldn't…Think of it…

"Bella, w-what…"

Alice. Her name is Alice.

I didn't hesitate to slip an arm around her waist, pull her to me and duck my head, nuzzling the crook of her neck, trying to get as much of her own personal incense in as I could. Her skin was cool, smooth and like soft silk as I let my hands trail up her sensitive back, still rumbling loudly at the smell coming from between her legs.

I felt myself moisten, wanted to touch her, to feel her, her outsides, her insides…

"Alice…" My voice was not what it once was. It was richer, easier, smoother, softer…It did rasp slightly as I tried to form words, tried to do what my brain was trying to remember how to do.

"Whoa, hey-Wait a minute!" Alice suddenly began to struggle and I _liked_ it. She weakly, halfheartedly pushed on my shoulders and I squeezed her closer, tighter against me.

If she had really wanted me to stop licking a path up her neck, kissing her hungrily, I would have. I did not want to upset my mate, had no interest in making her agitated. Instinctively, I knew if I really bothered my mate, she'd have no qualms about striking me in retaliation.

I would never hit her back…I just…Couldn't. Something inside me recoiled at the thought.

_You don't hit females…_

However, the sudden rush of that delicious scent between her thighs assured me she wanted it. I was hungry for her, suddenly overwhelmed by lust and a desire to touch her, to _lick_ her…

"Well, it seems Alice is having no problems with the new Bella, I see!"

I snarled as I caught wind of another scent, a _female_ scent and a svelte voice right behind my girl.

_She's a threat! Protect Alice!_

My head jerked up and I bared my fangs, jumping back with Alice still clutched in my arms. I miscalculated the leap and ended up toppling back onto the large bed, thwacking my head on the unforgiving wood at its end.

Fuck. Even as a vampire I'm still clumsy as shit.

There it was.

Suddenly, everything came rushing back. In a flash, my brain kick fired off, a rush of information, of memories, of thoughts crash landed back into my mind.

Birth, and growing and sent away, years of heartache, loneliness, chewing gum, detention, a kiss with a pixie, vampire brawls, pinkie promises, golden red eyes, protective and possessive as she defends me, inevitable serenades, furious and hurt, long blond hair, chaste kisses, broken bones and broken hearts, fire like liquid ice, ecstasy, death and _re_birth…

I gasped, Alice still cradled in my arms as my eyes flew open.

"Holy _shit_!" I yelled, releasing my girl as my slower heartbeat picked up its pace.

Oh.

My.

Shit.

I'm a vampire!

I didn't even comprehend it for a moment as my head whirled. The rush of images of my childhood, of everything that had ever happened in my seventeen years of life hit me like a slap in the face.

"Bella…?"

Alice…

What started it all. My angel, my pixie, my lovely Alice.

I tilted my head down, letting my new eyes wander over her in wonder.

I'm a vampire…

Well, hot _damn_. She did it. I _knew _she could.

Without being able to help it, a sudden grin split my lips, made my mouth twist up in pride and joy and absolute astonished happiness. For some reason, just being near her, thinking about, understanding everything that had happened and everything we'd been through, knowing she'd saved my life, just feeling her here with me made me inexplicably happy.

"Alice!" I cried, wrapping my arms around her from behind as my head rested against the headboard and I embraced her tightly. She let out a startled, adorable yip and I snuggled into the back of her neck, purring like mad once more.

Man, I felt like it was that time of the month or something. I was flying through emotions like crazy, trying to adjust to my new self.

I really almost couldn't handle the waves of affection that were suddenly pouring into me for Alice. Is this what it was like for her all the time? I wanted nothing more than to bury into the crook of her neck and stay there forever.

And this purring thing?

Awesome.

The slight vibrations in my chest and throat, the sound it made had me so content as I wuffled small kisses up the back of her neck and she squirmed, a light, confused giggle leaving her.

"I see you two are having fun," that voice that had sent me flying back in the first place suddenly returned, amused and I heard soft throaty chuckles of the male persuasion.

For all the humanity that had suddenly returned to me, the sound of a woman's voice, her scent even anywhere remotely near Alice or myself pissed me off.

My head jerked up and I snarled once, low in my throat, eyes whipping towards the door.

It was weird to be able to make my voice do that, form such an animalistic noise as I jerked my head up and glared furiously at…

Esme.

My face softened as I sat up, my arms tightening around a huffy Alice. She was becoming annoyed with my treatment of her, and with good reason, but it's not like I was meaning to do any of this. I just couldn't help it.

I really didn't like the fact that I'd had such a vicious response to the woman I'd come to love as a second mother but like I said, I couldn't help it. Something inside me rebelled, told her to stay away. I felt my grip on Alice change, become less protective…More possessive…

_She is mine…_

I opened my mouth to say something but couldn't seem to do so. Even if I now had more control over myself, understood what was going on, that animalistic side of me wasn't gone. My _vampire_ side wasn't going to just disappear.

This must have been what Alice had been talking about, not having control of your instincts.

"Aw…I hate this part of the change. Girls are so territorial!" Esme whined and I suddenly became more aware of the males in the room. I didn't feel as threatened by them, but I was still wary of their presence. I didn't want them to come closer, but if Esme even shifted in mine and Alice's general direction, I knew I'd have a problem.

Carlisle put an arm around his pouting wife and I spotted Jasper leaning against the door way and laughing at his adoptive, squirming sister in my lap. Edward was standing behind him, arms crossed and invasive eyes boring into mine.

I didn't like that. I felt violated as I felt him probing around my mind.

"Stop that!" I yelled, finding my voice and Edward's eyes went wide.

"Uh…" he didn't know what to say. All of the Cullens seemed startled by my outburst.

"You can…Talk?" Carlisle's eyes went wide and Alice tilted her head back, giving me an astonished look.

"Um…Yes?"

So obviously they hadn't been expecting that. I did feel different, a lot different, but I was still capable of my usual thought process. It was just changed a bit.

"Ooh! Ooh! I want to see the newborn! Move, move!"

I recognized the voice instantly, my faster, more adept vampire brain processing the high but male pitch of the voice, the excited child like quality that was still weird as hell.

Suddenly, Aro was pushing through the Cullens and bouncing into the room with much less caution.

Aro was not exactly short, but not exactly tall, either. He was taller than me but only by an irrelevant few centimeters. He had long, slick black hair, papery thin skin that looked sallow, almost translucent. It was a bit gross, not as solid or marble thick as the Cullen skin…

Or my skin. I still wasn't used to thinking of myself as a vampire.

What got me the most was his blood red eyes. They creeped me out.

"Oh! She's pretty! I wonder what powers she'll have, if any! My, my! How are you, Bella? Did I hear them say you could talk?"

The weird little man jumped over to me, bouncing on the balls of his feet like a little kid and making my vampire side agitated. I'd only just woken up and the appearance of all these vampires was making me more vampire than human as primal instincts awoke inside me. I hissed at him when he leaned over the bed, wide eyes peering at me curiously. I shifted back into the headboard, still gripping Alice tightly.

"Aro, my friend, I don't think that's advisable…" Carlisle said slowly as I debated shooting my foot out to kick the invasive creep in the face or making a break for the window.

Fight or flight?

I felt a little frustrated at the fact that my instincts were taking control of me as my human thoughts began to give way to vampire thoughts.

I think I had subconsciously claimed the bed as my territory, and Aro was invading it.

"Aro!"

_Another_ female?

I didn't like that at all. Esme, I would tolerate so long as she didn't try to come closer, but that woman, who I knew nothing of that suddenly entered the room, brushing past the familiar Cullens made me want to go crazy.

Her voice was slick and powerful, ringing with authority. I caught sight of her red eyes, saw the thick, long glossy black waterfall of ebony hair falling down her shoulders and her back, stopping between her shoulder blades. It was relatively straight with a glossy sheen. Her skin was not the characteristic pale white I'd become accustomed to, but tinted a tannish color. Her bangs were pulled back on top of her head, pinned down with a blue dragonfly pin and her features were smooth, perfect. Her cheekbones were high but full, her lips were thin but plump, her eyes were almond shaped but rounded, her nose was straight but not hawkishly so.

And she made me go absolutely batshit insane when she walked all the way over to the bed and yanked Aro back, shaking her head bemusedly.

I snarled again, my top lip curling back as I spun in front of Alice, crouching on the soft bed with effortless balance, my eyes blazing.

_Stay away!_

"Hmm? Oh! My apologies! I didn't mean to startle you, young one!" she said, taking a step back and pulling a pouting Aro with her.

Yeah, what the hell ever. I just wanted her gone.

_Alice is my mate. She is mine._ _MINE_.

I was suddenly ready to throw _down_. If that bitch wanted to take my mate she was going to have to get through me, and I had no intention of letting that happen.

"We'd better go. We'll meet with Bella another time, when she's perhaps less hostile. Oh, and you all may take her hunting out in the forest beyond our training fields when she's ready. Esme, dear, please don't stray too close. I fear she may even attack a friend in this state," the woman called as she dragged a protesting Aro out the door behind her.

Even when she was gone, I didn't feel at ease. I glared at Esme, still baring my fangs until I felt a hard nudge between my shoulder blades.

"Stop that," Alice huffed, poking my back lightly. I turned my head, obeying her wish and giving her a curious look.

I didn't understand why she wasn't upset about the presence of another female. Still, I felt the need to please her.

I was still struggling to come back to my senses, remember that I wasn't an animal. I slowly but surely got control of my more instinctive side.

"Oh, it's quite alright Alice. I know how it is. You were a feisty little fledgling yourself," Esme smiled softly, winking at her adoptive daughter as I shook my head and shifted, ashamed of my behavior.

"Um…Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not meaning to act like this, I just…This is crazy," I shook my head, shifting back towards Alice and attempting to stop glaring at Esme.

I didn't want to be so hostile towards her. I just didn't trust her.

"Again with the talking…You are quite the anomaly, Isabella Swan. Tell me…Do you know what's going on, Bella? Do you remember how you got here?" Carlisle tilted his head, piercing amber eyes gazing at me.

"Yeah…What? Is this weird? Me talking?" I asked slowly, sitting back on my haunches again, feeling the comforting weight of Alice behind me.

"Indeed it is. Most newborns do not have the ability of human speech or even human thought for the first few weeks. In fact, most newborns would have torn into Sulpicia without a second thought," Carlisle responded, seeming bewildered by my behavior.

"Sulpicia?" Was that the woman's name?

"Yes, the woman who invoked your instincts was Sulpicia, Aro's wife," Carlisle answered and I pondered that briefly. Aro didn't seem like the type to be able to get a girl to me.

"I just don't understand how you're so calm right now. Are you not freaked out at all?" Jasper suddenly interjected.

I snorted.

"Uh, I'm flipping shit, actually. This is insane! I'm a vampire! I'm seriously a vampire now? Really?" I was awed by this thought but all of the Cullens nodded in response.

I was still trying to wrap my head around all of this.

So far, being a vampire didn't seem all that bad, except for the murderous urges towards anything with breasts that came within ten feet of me or Alice.

"This is so weird," I heard Alice mumble and I nodded my head in agreement.

"I feel…Different, you know? I don't know how to explain it…I feel like I'm more of an animal than human at moments, and other times, I feel like I have some control…" I confessed, looking around for some sort of explanation.

"Understandable," Carlisle replied. "It's unusual for you to feel human at all, Bella. I've heard of newborns like this before, but it's rare to happen. Only once every century or so."

I thought about that for a moment. Didn't seem too out there to me. I'd always been weird.

"I wonder if you'll have any powers," Jasper commented, looking me over curiously.

"I don't feel like I have super powers or anything," I said, seeing if I could read anyone's mind, see the future or change the mood in the room. I couldn't.

Aw…I was bummed out for a brief moment. I'd been kind of stoked at the mention of powers. I mean, who wouldn't want super powers? That'd be sick.

Alice remained silent, which for some reason, bothered me. I wanted to know how she felt about all of this but when I looked round at her, she quickly looked away from me. Before I could say anything to her as my brow furrowed, Edward spoke.

"Ah, what I don't understand is why she's not hungry," Edward shook his head, peering into the room over his adoptive brother's shoulder.

At that, Esme snickered quietly.

"Oh, she's hungry all right. You should have seen her when I first walked in. Poor Alice didn't know what to do with her girlfriend all over her like that," she laughed and I heard an indignant noise from over my shoulder.

"She was pouring pheromones into the air like crazy, okay? I didn't know how to react to that!" I heard the sweet, high voice protest and felt the bed shift as Alice moved out from behind me, glaring at her chuckling mother.

"I was…?" I tilted my head, still fully aware of any movement from anyone in the room, but mostly Alice's.

I felt a hot wave in my stomach as she crawled off the bed on all fours, giving me a great look at her ass in those short shorts before she was on her feet again.

"Yes," she huffed and turned on her heel, just in time for me to lunge forward and capture those heart shaped lips hungrily, muffling her squeak.

I hadn't been able to stop myself as a wave of lust overpowered my senses.

She was just too cute, too sexy, too beautiful for me to resist. Even through the change, the dragons in my stomach remained and they roared in delight at the feel of her, her scent which was ten times more powerful now. They breathed a fire inside me and I growled, cupping the back of her head as she let out a shocked and weak moan into my mouth.

"Ah, there are two kinds of hunger for newborns, Jasper. Blood lust, and just lust," I heard the amusement in Carlisle's voice as Alice began to melt as I, on my knees on the bed, reached my arms around her and cupped that ass that had sparked me in the first place, digging my nails into the soft, tight flesh.

When I'd been human, her skin had been hard and unrelenting, but now it felt softer, silkier because yes, I had pushed my hands down the back of her shorts and panties, eager to grab onto her.

Alice's hips jerked and she groaned as I growled dominantly.

That was something new, too. Before, Alice had been in control with her strength and experience. But now, I could feel her submission and I _liked_ it. I was bigger, _stronger_ than her. _I_ would set the pace. I wanted to be the dominant, wanted to feel her beneath me, writhing and crying out in pleasure as I…

Alice suddenly shoved me away, glaring at me with darkening eyes and dilating pupils as I rested back on my elbows from the force of her push. If I'd been human, that shove would have sent me flying through the window. But I wasn't human anymore…

I purred at the resistance and the returning smell of her arousal.

She looked really sexy when she was angry for some reason…

"Would you quit it?" she snapped and I ducked my head, for some reason much more bothered by her displeasure than I should have been.

_Do not agitate your mate. She is female. Please her. Appease her. Make her happy._

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I couldn't help it!" I said back, blushing as much as I could and feeling awful for going at her like that.

I didn't like not feeling in control of myself. I was beginning to realize my instincts were much stronger than I'd first believed.

"Much as I would love to delve deeper into this odd behavior of a newborn, I think Bella's not as human as we're all assuming, especially with how she's been reacting to females and to Alice. I think before we do anything else or try to explain anything…You need to hunt, Bella before something bad happens…" Carlisle said slowly and I lifted my head quickly at that as Alice tensed.

"Hunt…? You mean like…?" I breathed and Alice bit her lip.

"Yes. For some reason, you're more in control than other newborns, but that's not to say you are fully in control. You need to feed. This situation is much more volatile than we're realizing. You may not feel it yet, Bella, but when the blood lust hits you, you won't be able to control it for long. You and Alice should probably go as soon as possible, but rest assured, we'll explain everything you've missed when you return," Carlisle said in a low, but firm voice. He was right, too. One second I was in control of myself, the next I was like an animal. The smallest things could set me off. Esme even breathing too hard, or Alice breathing too hard could make my instincts go wild.

I _was_ curious as to what had happened after Alice had fed from me, wanted to know more about the change and why I was acting the way I was and wanted to keep talking to the Cullens about it, but I suddenly just couldn't think about all that.

I needed to hunt…I needed to…Drink blood…

I frowned at that. The thought that I'd have to kill something, right now made me feel weird. Really weird.

Suddenly, though, the thought of tearing into something warm, burying my fangs in its flesh and drinking hot, rich red liquid made me hiss, made the human part of my brain shut off completely. I felt my fangs unsheathe, felt my body wind with tension, with a different kind of hunger.

I even felt myself get wet at the thought of the hunt, of blood.

I sat up slowly, my upper lip still curled back as a growl pulled from my throat.

I wanted blood.

Carlisle should never have brought it up. I hadn't even been thinking about it at all until he'd mentioned it. Now, it seemed as if any control I had was gone or going. I was _hungry_.

"Oh, dear. It seems you've excited her, Carlisle. Alice, quickly. Take her to the forest _now_, and do not go through the main corridors. And if you catch wind of Sulpicia, avoid her at all costs. You're going to have to teach her how to hunt and _what_ to hunt, fast," Esme insisted and began to shoo her family away as I continued to growl, my chest rumbling.

I felt like I was starving. I felt like if I didn't get my fangs into something, didn't hunt soon then I would go crazy. My body was burning up. My human mind rapidly began to deteriorate without my permission.

_Blood…_

The Cullens were gone and Alice cursed loudly. I turned my head to my mate, eyeing her in frustration, warring with myself as my sex clenched and throbbed.

_Sex or blood. Sex or blood._

The thought of hunting had made me even slicker between my legs.

I whimpered and Alice looked at me as I stood swiftly, grabbing onto her wrist in frustration, pleading with her to help me.

"Bella…Shit, Bells…Come on…Hey, sweetie, follow me. It's okay…Just follow me, darling…" Alice said slowly, realizing my predicament, taking my hand and beginning to drag me out the door as I tried not to lose it.

I had no choice but to go after her. Subconsciously, I knew she would lead me to food, would take me where I needed to go. I trusted her. It was like I'd reverted almost completely back to how I'd been when I'd first woken up.

In my vampire mind, I was going on the hunt with my mate.

In my human mind, I was about to kill for the first time.


	24. Queen to F5

We'd only gone about two steps towards the door when a hot pain rolled through my throat and my stomach. I whined, yelped and dropped to my knees.

Jesus Christ, that hurt like a mother fucker!

"Bella!" Alice cried, turning and dropping down next to me as I cradled my stomach and whimpered softly. I suppose it may have been because I kept swallowing that tasteless liquid pooling my mouth. It must have been venom and now it was burning my body as I kept gulping it down to keep it from spilling out of my mouth.

My head ached, my body ached and the tight hunger gnawing at my insides was only getting worse. I couldn't stand it. I needed to do something, _anything_ to stop the burning, the longing.

"Alice," I hissed, my fangs pulsing hungrily as I lifted my head and her worried, amber eyes took me in.

"Bella…" she said slowly, realizing my intent a moment too late.

I pounced on her, growling loudly. We tumbled to the floor as she yipped and struggled, delighting me.

Jeez, vampire kinks were so weird…

"Hey! _Hey_! Bella, quit it! _Stop_ it-" Alice protested as I covered her mouth with my own, muffling her frustrated cries. I felt my chest rumbling as I pinned her beneath me, nipping and kissing at her neck as I, without hesitation, cupped her between the legs, squeezing possessively.

The hot pain in my stomach dwindled a bit when she let out a cute little grunt and jerked her hips.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked but I was far from stopping. I felt that release again, knew subconsciously that I was putting out pheromones. I watched Alice's honey eyes glaze and darken, turning molten ebony and her fangs dropped, peeking out of her gums.

"Isabella," Alice growled warningly and I lifted my head, slowing the hard massage I'd been giving her between her thighs to stare down at her, purring the whole while.

I still ached for blood, the ruby red liquid rushing through my thoughts but if I sat there and thought about it, I felt like I was going crazy.

To be honest, I was terrified. My mind and my body rebelled at that intense desire to kill, to go insane with bloodlust. It must have been some kind of defense mechanism.

Sex or blood. Sex or blood.

Sex.

With Alice.

Mm…It actually wasn't that bad of a defense mechanism if you think about it.

Alice didn't agree.

She glared up at me and I loved how sexy she looked when she was angry. Her lips had thinned and her eyes were blazing. So beautiful…

I ducked my head and she snarled in annoyance when I began laying hot, open mouthed kisses to her sensitive neck. I heard it, just barely with my super hearing, the slight keening in the back of her throat when I took a patch of her creamy flesh into my mouth and sucked hard, pressing my fingertips into the apex of her thighs.

"Stop it! _Bella_! Get control of yourself!" she yelled, pushing hard but not hard enough on my shoulders. I could feel her resolve dissipating as I continued kissing her neck warmly.

You know, if I could have, I honestly would have.

Fact was…I couldn't. I could smell and feel Alice all around me. It was heaven, the scent of her arousal coating the air, making me dizzy. She really wasn't joking when she said I made her high. I felt like I was literally stoned on her, inhaling deeply to get as much of the delicious, musky scent in as I could.

I purred into her neck as she continued to struggle, only making it worse for the both of us. I knocked her hands away, kissing her mouth hungrily. She whimpered slightly and I felt the dominant, powerful noise rip from my chest at the sound of submission. It did wonderful things to my instincts as I slid down her body, shoving her shirt up over her breasts, kissing a path between them.

"Bella, I swear if you don't get off of me…" Alice threatened though her voice was weakening as I fondled her, kissing her sweet chest affectionately. I purred relentlessly, swirling my tongue around her firm, pink nipples and moaning. She tasted so good, even better with my ultra senses. Her breasts weren't exactly large, but they were cute and bouncy, soft in my palms. They fit right in my hands and I squeezed, making her eyes flash and a quiet noise pull from her lips.

I couldn't wait. I slipped down her body even further, slicking her skin with my tongue the whole way. I slid my fingers into the waistband of her shorts and her underwear, growling softly at their gall to keep me from her prize.

Alice noticed what I was doing and she scowled deeply, chest heaving and looking so fucking hot…

"Don't. You. Dare," she breathed in a rough, raspy voice.

I paid her no mind, yanking hard, probably too hard on her clothes. They tore away easily, ripping from her hips and leaving her completely exposed. The scent of her desire wafted into the air and my nostrils flared.

I took a moment to look at her, the glistening pink folds, _both _of her parted lips, the angry but wanting look in her eyes…

And then I dove in and she let out a sharp cry as I buried my tongue inside her, licking and lapping hard. I felt her legs wrap around my head, locking me in place as I cupped her tight ass, lifting her and holding her to my mouth. It seemed her will to fight had not disappeared completely however as she began to kick with her heels, driving them repeatedly in between my shoulder blades, even as I pulled ungodly noises from her, my nose nudging up against her swollen clit.

It hurt, but not enough to convince me to stop. I knew without doubt if Alice had sincerely been trying to make me stop, I would have. But her body spoke what her mind wouldn't, and therefore I didn't let up.

"Bella, god damn it!" she snarled and then threw her head back and mewled like a little kitten as I sucked on her nub, swirling it inside my mouth with my tongue.

She tasted _so_ good.

There was no human me anymore. I was an animal, a horny animal lusting after my mate, desperate to touch and feel and taste her, endlessly. I have to say, it was much better than the horrifying urge to slaughter anything with a strong pulse point, even if it was still pretty bad.

Alice's hips bucked without pause and finally she whimpered, unable to fight me anymore and I purred into her as she finally went completely docile, thighs squeezing my head and muffling my hearing as she threaded her fingers through my hair, holding me to her.

Yet…That wasn't enough to stop me from hearing the door open.

_Fuck_.

That cock block was about to get their ass whipped if they didn't get _lost_.

"Oh! Oh, my…"

The sound of _her _voice pulled a trigger inside me, set me off without hesitation. Alice yelped as I snarled, eyes snapping open and head pulling back, my furious gaze landing on…

Sulpicia.

I braced on the floor, roaring a challenge as the feminine scent that wasn't Alice's caught my nose. I braced my palms into the floor and lurched, launching forward off my legs like they were coiled springs. I lunged through the air straight at the dark vampire and Sulpicia's ruby red eyes flashed.

She ducked and I went sailing through the doorframe, growling angrily. She was fast, incredibly so. Even as I flipped and hit a golden brick wall, spun, launched off of it and lunged once more, she was already moving.

"God, newborns are such a handful," I heard her mutter as I barely found purchase on her neck, digging my nails in before she rolled backwards, feet pressing into my stomach before I was flying back into the room, blasting through a bedpost and crashing into the wall beside the window.

"Bella! Stop it!" Alice cried and I was suddenly aware of the position we were all in.

Sulpicia was crouched down by the doorway, eyes calculating me, long, dark black cloak hanging off her shoulders. Alice was still where I'd left her, legs spread (Jizz…) and wide, ebony eyes pleading with me to calm down.

So what that basically means is that I, upside down on the floor with my legs hanging over my head like a dumbass am not between my vulnerable mate and Sulpicia.

The foot of space between the two felt nonexistent to me in that moment.

I snarled and flipped right side up, the world blurring by me as I reacted without thinking. Alice finally went into motion as Sulpicia's upper lip curled but not in a snarl but a grin, a _smirk_.

She was having _fun_.

That _pissed me off_ for some reason. Vampires are so _weird_, man.

Alice snapped her legs up, not using her hands to land on her feet. As I went for Sulpicia's jugular, springing from the wall, fangs bared and claws out, my beautiful pixie met me halfway.

I almost did something horrible.

Alice crashed into me over the bed and I twisted at the last second, taking the jolt with my chest and stomach as I enfolded her in my arms to avoid slicing the marble skin of her throat with my clawed hands. I grunted because it hurt, a lot actually. We smashed into the floor, skidding to a stop at…

Sulpicia's feet.

_Fuck _my life!

I mean, we couldn't have landed somewhere else? _Any_where else? Seriously?

"Are you finished now?" Sulpicia arched an eyebrow down at us as I growled low in my throat and scrambled with Alice still in my arms to get away from her.

"Bella-ow! Ouch! Would you just-" Alice huffed as I maneuvered us so that she was behind me and I was nose to nose with Sulpicia, my chest rumbling violently as I crouched slightly.

To be honest, I'd pretty much gotten straight up owned. No doubt. That didn't stop me from wanting to pummel the woman into nothingness.

"Now, now," Sulpicia grinned a bit, hinting at her long, sharp fangs. They were longer than any other vampire's I'd seen. They didn't look fully extended though as they gleamed in the lighting.

"I believe I have something that will make you behave," the ebony haired woman smiled lightly and from out of her cloak pulled a long necked, large wine bottle.

"Sulpicia, no! No! She is NOT drinking that! What are you _doing_?" Alice snarled from behind me and I grumbled as she tried to get around me.

Uh, no. There was no way I was going to let my girl anywhere near this psycho bitch.

"You act as if this is something you have a say in," Sulpicia said slowly, eyeing Alice pointedly and I heard Alice snarl again, inviting my own angry noise to leave my throat.

I didn't know what was going on. I was pretty much in mine mode right then.

_Mine. Alice is mine. This room is mine. That bed is mine. This floor is mine. That door is mine. This air is mine. STOP RAPING MY AIR. Most of all, Alice is mine. Fuck you. MINE._

I felt like a cave man, but whatever.

"It _is_ something I have a say in. She is _not_ drinking human blood! We agreed on this! Just leave so I can take her hunting already!" Alice yelled over my shoulder and I continued to growl like an animal, still only inches away from this woman.

What did she want, anyway?

But I didn't really comprehend much after the word blood.

The hot, painful hunger I'd felt earlier was back with a vengeance. My throat began to burn as I swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth and I let out a harsh whine, suddenly less assured of my ability to kick Sulpicia's ass. I backed us up a few steps as Sulpicia thumbed the cork in the bottle thoughtfully, ruby eyes roaming over us.

I could see something dark, a sweet promise sloshing around in the bottle and a faint scent through the glass, something _delicious_. I wanted…That bottle…

"I'm afraid it's too late for that, Alice," Sulpicia murmured, giving her a fake sympathetic smile.

"Bullshit! What are you talking about?" Alice protested, clutching at the backs of my arms as I made to move forward, eyes locked on the bottle. I could see the liquid, swirling hypnotically inside the glass and that smell was driving me mad. Not even the faded scent of Alice's arousal could get my interest. Sulpicia continued to twirl the bottom of the wine bottle maddeningly.  
_  
She's teasing me…_

"You're going to want to watch your tone and your words. By all means, your mate already deserves punishment. In fact, she could suffer the death penalty for this," Sulpicia replied easily, eyes flashing at Alice.

Alice froze behind me and I growled softly.

Bitch could _try_ me.

"She…She's a newborn…You…Sulpicia, I'm sorry…I just…Not human blood…Please," Alice breathed, tugging on my shoulders when I whimpered as Sulpicia dug her long, black nail into the cork.

"In any other circumstance, I'd be inclined to let you two go on. But I cannot. There are matters which must be discussed now, not later. The only sustenance we have at hand is human. We do not keep animal blood in stock," Sulpicia responded, red eyes moving to mine as I twitched at the word blood.

If I hadn't had a problem with this chick before, I certainly did now. There was something _off_ about her, something weird, something…Wrong.

The word bitch came to mind but I'm not sure if that was just my instincts misbehaving.

"What is so important that it can't wait an hour or two?" Alice hissed, a hint of desperation creeping into her voice as Sulpicia continued to stare into my eyes.

"Ask your sister," Sulpicia shrugged, thumb nail digging deeper into the cork, twisting it around. I watched her, mesmerized, warily.  
_  
Just open the damn bottle…_

Alice paused for a long moment and when she spoke again, her voice was soft and controlled. It was a mask, a lie. She sounded furious, scared beneath it.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing as of yet," Sulpicia shrugged again and Alice let out a growl, an actual vampire noise for the first time.

"If you hurt her…" my mate started but here Sulpicia's head whipped towards her.

"That is _enough_," she snapped, voice rising and turning ice cold instead of too warm, too sickly sweet. Her eyes did that flashing thing again, a bloody red darkening slightly.

"You are in no position to make threats, little one. In fact, for that little insolence I think I _will _hurt your precious Rosalie. After all, you Cullens have done nothing but disrespect and cause us trouble from the moment we offered our hospitality. Your mate has attacked me which most certainly calls for retribution and you, stepping out of your place? I should have you aflamed," Sulpicia's voice went colder and colder as she spoke and I felt a wave of protectiveness rush through my veins when Alice blanched.

I snarled, taking a threatening step towards the woman, ready to throw down if need be.

They had Rosalie…I didn't process that much, I was still burning alive from the inside and I felt like I was about to explode. I had no problems exploding on Sulpicia. This chick seriously needed an attitude adjustment. I mean, who put her up on her high horse?

"Sulpicia, I…"

"Silence!"

Alice obeyed and I growled loudly in response as Sulpicia turned her scorching glare upon me.

The effect was null and void. I didn't even flinch but I know if I had been human, I'd have been halfway to Helsinki as soon as her eyes landed on mine.

Now, though?

I glared right back, tilting my chin up in defiance, fangs dipped low.

"Cocky little fledging, aren't you?" Sulpicia smirked then after a moment of standoff and I rumbled as a reply.

"P-please, I'm sorry, Sulpicia. We didn't mean to offend you. Bella's not thinking clearly, but please, just let me take her hunting," Alice begged but Sulpicia didn't even blink.

"Are you hungry, little one?" she murmured in a silky sweet voice, making me feel like I wanted to puke.

I really wanted to lay a smack down on the bitch at that point but I couldn't quite forget how easily she'd sent me flying over her shoulder, crashing through that bed post.

"Can you feel it burning you, searing your throat, your heart, your very soul? Do you want to feed…?" Sulpicia whispered and before I could leap at her throat, shifting in preparation to attack, fed up with this nonsense, she pulled her thumb back, the cork impaled on her nail, pulling out with it.

A sweetly metallic scent floated into the air, calling to me, coaxing me. I swear I literally felt my pupils dilate as the aroma, spicy and mouth watering landed on my nose.

I went ballistic.

"No! Bella, no!" Alice screamed as I rushed forward, crashing into Sulpicia, which was pretty much like crashing into a solid rock.

I was prepared to fight her for the 'kill' but there was no need.

I snarled when Sulpicia tangled her fingers through my hair, yanking my head back as we toppled into the brick wall behind the woman. I reached for the bottle, mouth wide open as I felt Alice fingers tugging on Sulpicia's wrists.

_Protect Alice. Feed. Protect Alice…_

_Feed!_

Sulpicia sneered at my mate and it made what little blood I had left boil, but then all the pain, all the ache, the hunger disappeared as she tipped the bottle up and luke warm, rich red fluid poured down my throat, soothing it away.

I clutched at Sulpicia's arms, whining as my body reacted wonderfully. I was wet between my legs but I could hear Alice's frustrated, broken noise and felt her nosing into the back of my neck, dry sobbing.

It broke my heart but I couldn't stop. I couldn't _stop_. I wrapped my lips around the bottle and tried to find purchase with my tingling fangs but couldn't. So I just _pulled_, instinctively trying to draw the liquid in faster.

It was godly, delicious. I whimpered loudly as Sulpicia hushed me like a mother would a crying baby. I wanted to rip her throat out but I shut my eyes instead, trying to pull every last drop that I could out of the rapidly emptying bottle.

Finally after what felt like eternity, the last, very last drop dripped onto my tongue and I whimpered desperately, pushing my tongue against the opening, trying to get more as I swallowed the last of the…

Human blood.

Now that the bottle was emptied, I shoved back, away from Sulpicia who had gone from holding my head still to stroking my hair gently.

Uh, ew?

Alice and I both crashed back onto the bed, my chest heaved and I felt sick.

Oh, God. What had I just done? I'd just chugged blood like it was chocolate milk and goodness knows I dig my chocolate milk…

I could feel Alice trembling beneath me as Sulpicia watched us both, amused. She raised her eyebrow as Alice let out another dry sob and I turned without thinking, my eyes watering as I felt disgust welling in my chest.

"Alice…" I whispered but she shook her head. She was looking over me, at the ebony haired woman.

"Why?" she hissed as I trembled, in control of myself now, feeling sated, disgusted, horrified, _murderous_.

My head whipped around and I glared flaming swords into Sulpicia's eyes, driving to burn her alive with a look like Rosalie seemed capable of doing.

And what about the furious blond? What had happened to her? Just what the hell was going on?

"I told you. We have business to take care of and we do not have time to wait for Isabella to go hunting. Be glad I did not bring her a proper, fresh kill. It was a sad, miserable first meal. Only years of friendship with your parents prevented me from bringing her _real_ food," Sulpicia snapped back and Alice let out an angry, unintelligible noise.

"We will discuss your punishments when we arrive at the Court. We're already late. Follow. Now," Sulpicia ordered but I wasn't buying it. Now that I could think, I was madder than ever.

"Just what is your problem you stuck up-" Alice cut me off by clapping a hand over my mouth as Sulpicia turned back around, popping her neck, eyes closing for a bit longer than a standard blink.

When they opened, they were almost black.

"You are trying my patience. You have five seconds to follow me or I'll have you both aflamed with Jane and Chelsea to keep you company," Sulpicia warned before she was out the door.

Trembling, Alice pushed me off of her and stood up.

"Alice, what is going on? What is her problem? What's the Court? And where is Rosalie? Is she in trouble? And what the hell does 'aflamed' mean?" I babbled, leaping to my feet, refusing to let that irritating lust overtake my senses as I registered the remaining lubrication between my thighs.

Alice didn't respond as she yanked on my hand, dragging me towards the door.

We stumbled through the doorway, both of us angry and upset and confused as Sulpicia waited impatiently by the door, a safe distance away to prevent me from going apeshit on her and God, I wanted to go apeshit on that bitch so badly.

"Aflamed means they'll tie you down and bake you like a fucking Thanksgiving turkey in the midday sun," Alice murmured scathingly, looking hatefully at Sulpicia who was listening easily.

"It's quite unpleasant, actually. You'll be wishing for death by the time your skin has turned red. I still have a half a mind to aflame you both. Follow me," Sulpicia called over her shoulder as she led us right, down what looked to be a long, endless golden corridor. The ceiling was an endless mosaic and the walls were covered in paintings.

I honestly had no idea what was going on. I didn't know what this chick's problem was, I didn't know what we'd done that was so awful, I didn't know where Rosalie was or if she was okay, I didn't know what the hell the _Court_ was, and I wasn't entirely sure whether or not I still had the ability to throw up the blood settling uncomfortably comfortably in my stomach.

All I knew was that I really, really wanted to rip Sulpicia's smug ass head off and by the way Alice's hand shook in mine, I knew she felt that way, too.

Sulpicia took us through this palace like place, down long hallways, taking lefts and rights, down a long flight of steps to a darker, murkier place. The gold brick turned slimy and dark maroon and the railing was unnecessary as I no longer felt like I would spontaneously trip for no reason other than to amuse Life.

Alice was by my side, trembling the whole time. I realized she still wasn't wearing any bottoms when the elevator doors slid shut and Sulpicia slipped her cloak off, reveal the tight black tank top/armor like top she was wearing and the tight, leather black pants she had on. The ebony haired woman passed the cloak to Alice whose lip curled and I couldn't blame her.

I don't think either of us would have minded if my mate went nude.

"You are not going to appear in the Court like this. You are already enough of a disgrace," Sulpicia snapped, throwing the dark, hooded cloak into Alice's arms.

I realized I really, really didn't want Alice to wear Sulpicia's clothes.

Like, at all.

I glanced down at my own apparel, hoping desperately there was something I could substitute as Alice reluctantly slipped the cloak over her shoulder, tying it closed to hide her lower half.

I was wearing a dark blue t-shirt that barely covered my chest and brushed over my midriff. It was Alice's and I recognized it. It was one of her shirts that I wore frequently but I never remembered it being so…Small on me. I mean, her stuff was usually pretty tiny but…Never that much.

I glanced over at my sulking mate and realized that now I had at least two inches on her. Before, I'd only had around one, give or take. She could now press her lips to my chin without having to duck her head a little.

Hell…I could stand toe to toe with Rosalie now.

I also noticed my hair was longer. It flowed past my shoulder blades and settled, wavy and with a sheen of red that it hadn't had before halfway down my back. I frowned a little as I took this in, realizing the color was richer, thicker, warmer, _prettier_. I wondered vaguely how much else I'd changed but couldn't see.

I was also wearing a pair of loose fitting black pajama pants with cute little white kittens curled up, imprinted on it as the design. Also Alice's, also too short. The bottoms flared around my shins.

Other than that, I wore nothing. My stomach was bare and I was surprised to feel no self consciousness.

Being a vampire sure was…Different.

The elevator descended and we stood in awkward silence as I seethed, wanting to rip Sulpicia's cloak to pieces and clamp Alice's sex in my palm, growling possession, dominance and my love for her to the world, but mostly Sulpicia.

Bitch.

Not only did she pretty much force feed me human blood which I really wasn't keen on, she also was a total cock block.

Uber bitch.

The elevator dinged to a stop and Sulpicia led us out, down a long dark hallway to two tall, huge double doors. The wood was a rich, deep mahogany in the dim, almost nonexistent lighting as Sulpicia braced against the doors, effortlessly throwing them wide open.

What followed was a screaming so profound, so pained, so horrible that I winced, literally winced.

"Rosalie," Alice breathed as the light spilled over us.

She was right.

The room we entered was humongous and domed. The ceiling was glass and concrete, painted with yet another mosaic, looking ancient. The floors were solid white marble, polished to a gleaming sheen. The room was relatively empty, save for the raised floor and several thrones on that part. There was a long red curtain behind this and what looked to be another room behind that.

However, that wasn't what caught my interest.

A little ways in front of the thrones and about thirty feet from us stood a semi circle of vampires and it wasn't the Cullens.

There was a tall, burly man with thick chocolate black locks falling shortly over his shoulders, a tall but solemn dark haired man next to him, much leaner than his curly haired friend. Standing between them was…

A little girl?

What the fuck?

The chick was even shorter than Alice, looked to be around twelve or thirteen. She was beautiful with thick, granite white skin and those startling ruby red eyes. Her hair was long and flowing in a ponytail down her back as she stood over the writhing, shrieking mass before her, eyeing it distastefully, her gaze unwavering, unblinking, powerful.

The mass?

Turned out to be Rosalie.

I felt my already slow heartbeat skip and then stop as Alice lurched, letting out a cry at the sight of Rosalie on the ground, rolling and screaming her lungs out, clawing at her body as the little freaky girl glared down on her.

Sulpicia didn't miss a beat as both Alice and I letting out shocked yells.

"What the hell!" I shouted, balling my fists as the woman walked on, floating towards the thrones.

Rosalie shuddered violently and went still as the little girl glanced up, tilting her head ever so slightly as she noticed us.

I don't know which was more eerie, the little fucker's gaze who how still Rosalie was on the floor.

Both Alice and I noticed the Cullens standing off to the side, watching with grim and pained eyes. We took off for them simultaneously, blurring over to them and reaching them within a split second.

And even though the situation really didn't call for it, I couldn't lie, it was pretty fucking cool to fly across the ground like that. My feet barely even touched the ground before we skidded to a stop at Alice's family.

Everyone was there. Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Jasper, Emmett. All of them.

"What's going on?" Alice breathed as her eyes stayed locked on her adoptive sister who groaned softly and rolled over, chest heaving and face screwed up.

"They're punishing her," Carlisle said in a tight voice and looked away from the scene.

"For what? And how? What's wrong with her?" I asked, feeling out of the loop once more.

"That girl there? That's Jane. Her power is to make others feel pain," Carlisle murmured to me quietly as Alice bit her lip, looking like she wanted nothing more than to go to her shaking sister as Jane looked down on her, head still tilted creepily.

"She's being punished because when you were dying, she got angry. She blamed the Volturi and I don't blame her," Emmett broke in, sounding more pissed off than I'd ever heard him.

It was still kind of hard for me to be in such a big group and Esme standing off to the side made me very nervous.

But I had never seen her so enraged, so volatile. The normally cheery woman did not look up when we approached, did not move a muscle. Her eyes stayed locked on her adopted daughter, fists clenched at her sides.

And suddenly, I pitied anyone who stood made that woman snap. I had never been afraid of Esme in my life.

Even as a vampire, the look on her face convinced me she was not one to be fucked with at the moment.

"She came to Volterra and demanded entrance to the palace. She threatened to reveal herself when she was denied and the Volturi didn't like that. Not at all," Emmett went on, watching with disgust as Rosalie's back arched off the floor and a new scream tore from her throat, Jane's eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

I flinched and Alice took a step towards them.

"You'll be joining her if you interfere," Carlisle warned, holding his arm out to stop Alice.

"They can't do this," I hissed, hating the Volturi even more with every passing second.

"They can and they will," Edward whispered, looking hatefully at Jane as Esme's body seemed to tighten even more and Rosalie continued screaming, head thrown back and wide, unseeing eyes trained on the ceiling as she jerked and shook, kicking out desperately.

Fuck…Fuck. I had never really been on good terms with Rosalie but something inside me recoiled at the sight of her like that, hurting so much. I ached to drive my foot into that little freak's face but I finally understood just why the Cullens all tensed when they heard Jane's name.

Rosalie looked like she was going to go insane with the pain.

I hated it. I felt helpless and pissed and god damn it that was not a good combination for me.

Slowly, ever so slowly Jane turned away from Rosalie and Rosalie collapsed to the floor, snarling and dry sobbing, clutching at her body, curling in on herself pitifully.

There was a long moment of silence and then the semi circle broke as Jane and her two buddies turned away, moving as one towards the raised floor.

The movement was instant. The Cullens all surrounded Rosalie and I stood by Alice as Esme dropped to her knees, scooping Rosalie into her arms, whispering soft nothings into the heaving girl's ear, cradling her close.

Rosalie was saying something, a lot of somethings actually. At first, I thought she was whimpering for her mother which damn near broke my heart.

But I couldn't help but grin when I heard what she was actually saying with my vampire hearing.

"I swear to God I'm going to punt that little shit like a fucking football," Rosalie snarled and Esme shook her head.

"No, you're not, sweetheart," she smiled back a little shakily, thankful that Rosalie was okay. We were all thankful for that but as Rosalie, sniffling and glaring her customary glare raised her head out of Esme's shoulder and caught sight of me, I knew Life was snickering at me, enacting it's new plan to torture me.

Our eyes met and Rosalie froze, surrounded by her family as I faintly heard Sulpicia clapping her hands to get our attention but I refused to give it.

"You changed her?" Rosalie breathed, head jerking towards Alice who tensed.

"R-Rosalie, don't overreact…"

"Over- What the FUCK!" Rosalie cried, yanking out of her mother's arms, stumbling to her feet. Alice stood as well but was met with a two handed shove that sent her sprawling.

I had a split second to think _Fuck my life. Fuck it right to hell_.

And then I was on Rosalie, roaring as I took her down by the waist, linebacker style and we went flying through the air to crash down far away, almost at the farthest wall.

Needless to say, Rosalie wasn't too randy fucking dandy when she lifted her head and I was met with one of her vicious snarls and a right hook to my temple that nearly took my head off but sent me wobbling backwards, dizzy instead.

I don't think anyone will be surprised to hear that even as a vampire, Rosalie can still beat the living shit out of me and I was about to learn that the hard way.

Fuck. Just _fuck_.


	25. Bowing Down to Royalty

Rosalie went ballistic. She lunged forward and it felt like I'd been hit by a frigging train as she drove her shoulder into my stomach. I felt what little air I needed explode out of my lungs as she hit me with a roar and we went flying back again.

Now, I may have been pissed, but I was also a little unnerved. Vampire or not, Rosalie was terrifying.

Still, I didn't give in that easily. I flipped us in the air and threw her off of me as we both skidded to a stop, landing on all fours a few feet away from each other, by her family.

"Both of you stop it!" Alice cried but there was no way. Not then.

I snarled a challenge and we both launched forward, meeting each other head on. I didn't expect the furious speed with which she would hit me and so I went from thinking about how I wanted to pile drive her into the ground to where the hell is my face?

Her knuckles shattered my cheek and I yelped slightly as I stumbled backwards a good ten feet and she kept coming, blurring in front of me to bend at the waist and send her heel into my stomach.

Can you say, bye-bye?

Peace, mother fuckers.

I went soaring, crashing into the far wall, watching as pieces of my skin, small but real fluttered after me and I made a good sized dent into the solid concrete, the impact jarring my whole body and making my head ring.

Ow, _fuck_!

I'd never been in any real, legitimate fights before. I'd never had a fist fight, never even slapped a ho. I was a relatively peaceful person. So, I'm gonna have to say I didn't like being taught the meaning of pain by Rosalie Lillian Hale.

No bueno.

I winced as I slid down the wall and she was _still_coming.

Give me a _break_…

I felt a rage of my own welling within me as her angry, blurring features came down on me as I remembered how she'd sent Alice on her ass. I reacted with total instinct, giving into the monster within me. I think it was the only way I was going to survive Rosalie's onslaught.

I exploded out of the wall, taking large chunks of debris with me as the blond came forward, ready to go. I met her halfway, swinging wide but low as I ducked under her punch that probably would have crushed my nose. I felt the startlingly satisfying crack of my fist hitting her ribs, heard her growl through it.

Damn.

She suddenly locked her arm around my neck and before I could react, her knee was driving in to my stomach, her arm clinching me and preventing me from pulling away.

That hurt. Like, no lie, I wondered how I was still standing. Probably the hot anger boiling in my stomach.

I snarled away the pain and thrust my foot into her other kneecap awkwardly, watched her leg twist and give and heard her yell out in pain before she leapt away.

I followed through with the advantage even as I felt a break in my skin around my abdomen.

But Rosalie wasn't weak, if we're going to state the obvious here. Even though her leg was bent awkwardly as she hopped back, when I rushed forward, blurring towards her, her fist shot out and drove straight into my collarbone.

Double damn.

I crumpled to my knees, feeling my eyesight go black with the pain for a moment. Then my world was streaking by me as she smashed her knuckles into the side of my face again and I flew through the air, hitting the same fuckin' wall, in the same fuckin' hole.

It hurt even more that time and I fell to my hands and knees, gasping as I tried to clear my head.

Newborn strength or not, I was going to lose if this kept up. I was subconsciously aware of that, but it seemed it didn't matter as I forced myself up to meet Rosalie again, a reddish, brownish white blur interfered with our clash.

Did I say Rosalie's punches hurt?

Esme's backhand to the back of my head felt like a lightning bolt as the streak landed between us and we both went shooting backwards. I felt another strike to my stomach before I could even process what the hell was going on and then I was flat on my ass, curling up to prevent further punishment.

I trembled slightly as I tried to come to my senses.

"That. Is. _ENOUGH_," Esme hissed as I peeked out through my arms which I had covered my head with. I glanced behind her and saw Rosalie shaking, fangs bared but arm raised slightly to protect herself from her mother's wrath.

At first, I remained in vampire mode.

I watched Esme warily, calculating her nervously.

_She is alpha female. Dominant. Challenge her?_

Uh, hell to the nizzo? I don't care if I was vamping out or not, there was no chance I was about to take on that woman. Esme's blazing black eyes bore into me and I flinched away, avoiding her gaze, the animal way of showing submission. I could see the powerful strength in Esme's muscles, the taut dominance pouring out of her every cell as I shifted away.

"Bella," I heard Alice breathe as she ran to me, dropping to her knees next to me as I finally noticed everyone staring even as I felt Esme glaring down on me.

I barely caught the almost imperceptible nod Sulpicia gave to Jane over Esme's shoulder before Rosalie, seething, jerked wildly, falling back and slamming her head into the floor, screaming.

Esme whirled instantly and I, for the first time, saw real hatred in that sweet woman's eyes as she watched her daughter writhe on the ground.

Now, I wasn't exactly upset with Rosalie. I hadn't even wanted to fight the blond, but instinct took over when she attacked Alice and I hadn't been able to stop myself. I certainly wasn't happy with the treatment she was receiving as Jane relentlessly tortured her and the Cullens all shook with rage.

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Esme finally broke, falling down beside Rosalie, grasping at her flailing limbs.

There was a moment of hesitation and I watched as Sulpicia, along with the men I hadn't noticed earlier, including Aro, turned to her.

Sulpicia paused for a long moment, the silence filled with Rosalie's cries before she jerked her chin at Jane who instantly broke her bloody red gaze from Rosalie's body.

Instantly Rosalie was engulfed in her adoptive mother's arms, her whole body shivering with the after effects as Carlisle knelt down next to them, joining the embrace.

I saw the subtle shift in the room, felt the air thicken with tension as the Cullens all simultaneously turned their bodies towards the Volturi, stepping ever so slightly in front of their family. Alice and I both rose, my body aching and I didn't even mean to do it but the impulse to get in front of Alice and in front of Rosalie as well overwhelmed me.

_Protect your pack. Protect your family._

Though I had a modicum of control over my instincts, they still partly controlled my actions as I made sure I had at least half my body in front of Alice, or rather, between her and Sulpicia.

"Well…That was interesting," Sulpicia said after a moment into the silence as Rosalie inhaled deeply and stayed locked in Esme's arms, looking like she actually didn't mind the display of protective affection for once.

I did it without thinking. I evaluated what I assumed to be the enemy, and even in my human mind I knew the Volturi certainly couldn't be our friends and I highly doubted they were merely unfriendly allies.

I looked over her companions, spotted a slightly confused Aro, sitting in the middle throne out of three, tilting his head as if he didn't quite understand why everyone was upset or fighting, ran my eyes over a man with long, sleek blond hair and papery thin skin like Aro's that still retained some of its thickness on his left, a man with wavy dark hair on his right. They all looked young but aged, if that makes sense. Sulpicia stood by her husband, hand on his shoulder.

The two other men I'd seen earlier still flanked Jane, who stood off to the side a bit, all of them glaring distastefully over at us.

Well, fuck you, too.

"If you ever," I heard a furious, quiet, controlled voice start from my right, from the ground start. It was Esme.

"If you _ever_hurt my child or any of my children again," Esme continued, slowly standing as Carlisle helped a weakened Rosalie up.

She didn't finish but the tone of her voice made me shiver and I watched Sulpicia's eyes flash at the warning, the obvious threatening promise in Esme's voice. There was no need for the infuriated mother to finish, the idea was easy to grasp and Sulpicia seemed to find amusement in this.

Esme remained calm, unaffected by the slow smirk that broke Sulpicia's face.

"My, my Effy, you seem to have grown quite hostile in the time we've been apart," Sulpicia sighed as she floated off the raised floor to land beside Jane and her groupies.

"Do not call me that, Sulpicia. You have long lost the right to call me by any nicknames, _especially_that one," Esme hissed, balling her fists and glaring hatefully at the ebony haired woman.

Sulpicia gave a playful pout and crossed her arms.

"Why ever would that be, my Effervescence?" Sulpicia cooed and Esme's head tilted, just barely.

"Because you're a bitch," she said quite simply and I'm sorry, I really am, I couldn't help the loud snort of laughter that escaped me.

Everyone in the room turned to look at me and my snickering quickly died as I blushed as much as I could, coughing sheepishly and avoiding Sulpicia's eyes.

I felt a little better when I noticed the tiny smirk on Esme's face and the wink she gave me as Alice bit her lip next to me, trying not to grin.

Come on, now. Esme calling a bitch was just too funny and too damn true for me not to laugh at the pure awesomeness of it. I really did love that woman.

"That's really mature," Sulpicia rolled her eyes before she turned towards me, eyeing me curiously. "So you can speak and understand everything that's occurring, newborn?" she inquired slowly and even though I didn't fully believe she'd let the whole deal with Esme go, I wasn't feeling the shift in the conversation or the taunting tone of her voice.

"Sure enough," I muttered back, not dropping my defensive posture as I eyed her back.

"You know…You've caused us quite a lot of trouble, Isabella Swan…Quite a lot indeed…" Sulpicia went on slowly and floated back up the steps to sit daintily on Aro's lap and I scowled a bit as she began to play idly with his hair and his lips moved, his brow furrowed and I felt odd seeing it.

He looked like a child in the middle of an adult conversation who didn't like or understand why the adults were fighting. Sulpicia's mouth twitched before she turned her attention back to me.

"I suppose you all are wondering why we've called you to the Court, though some reasons are more obvious than others," the bitch called, addressing all of us for the first time, her eyes flicking to myself and Rosalie briefly.

"And though this situation is not exactly ideal, you need to be aware of just how much trouble you've brought upon us and upon yourselves in turn. The Cullens…" Sulpicia continued, her voice silky, too sweet, like Victoria's had been.

No one replied so she went on.

"I assume you've seen the mountains surrounding our beautiful city, yes?"

We nodded hesitantly as I felt Alice behind me, supporting me and I felt a lot stronger with her by my side, cliché as it was. I reached back and clasped her hand and she squeezed mine.

"In those mountains lies a rouge coven of vampires. This coven is vast and…Irksome…They desire to bring down the Volturi for their disagreement with our…Ideals…And this coven, Memento Mori as they have deemed themselves, believes that you, Isabella Swan are the key to their success…"

I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her I had no idea what the hell she was babbling about but she silenced me with a raised hand, though I was sorely tempted to tell her she could shove her talk to the hand bit up her ass.

"Not only this, but you have brought trash and scum and filth right to our doorstep. You have the humans frantic and if they should be led to us, you've no idea the consequences it would bring…Not to mention you've brought the _wolves_," Sulpicia spat out wolves like it was something nasty and I tilted my head.

"She means werewolves," Alice whispered in my ear and there was a pause.

"_WEREWOLVES_? What the _HELL_? You can't be serious!" I whirled on Alice whose eyebrows arched up.

"Are you really that surprised? We're vampires, Bella. It's not that hard to believe," Alice replied slowly as I gawked.

"No fucking way! You mean like half man, half wolf _werewolves_? _Seriously_?" My disbelief was evident.

Right then, I reverted right back to my old defense mechanism against mega bullshit.

"Completely," the corner of Alice's lip quirked up as I shook my head.

"There's no way. There's no _freaking_ way. I can deal with vampires but werewolves? No. _Way_," I refused to believe it.

Give me a break. Give me a frigging _break_.

"Apparently, there is."

"You guys are just screwing with me, right? Come on."

"I wish I could be screwing with you right now darling, but no. Werewolves exist, sadly."

There was another pause as I took in the double meaning of her innuendo and then I was right back at it.

"I don't believe this. I do not believe this!"

"Believe it, Bells."

"That's retarded! It's just retarded!" I threw up my hands and right then a voice cleared loudly.

Ooh, and who better than to take my mind off this crap but uber bitch!

Joy…

I turned back around as Alice grabbed onto my hand again, kissing my shoulder gently as I huffed and shook my head, grumbling to myself.

Werewolves.

Were.

Wolves.

Man.

Wolf.

Werewolf.

FUCK.

All of this was entirely stupid. I still didn't believe it but I really didn't have time to think about it.

"If you two are finished now," Sulpicia glared over at us and I was tempted to stick my tongue out at her like I was five years old.

"The wolves are not pleased. The pack you brought with you from Forks is hell bent upon your slaughter and the only thing preventing them from doing so is the gates of Volterra and the protection we offer, despite the problems Isabella brings with Memento Mori's desire to have her and the fact that Charlie Swan has the National Guard searching for her," Sulpicia said and I tensed.

Oh, Charlie…

My poor father…He must have been going crazy trying to find me…I knew it probably broke his heart when he found out I'd up and disappeared after being crushed by a five foot four tall blur of pixie.

The National Guard though…That was a bit much, Dad. Come on, now.

I really had no idea what this Memento Mori clan wanted with me, though, or why the…Fuck it, _werewolves_were after us.

"The werewolf pack from Forks is one that has long had a peace treaty with us, as vampires and werewolves are sworn enemies," Edward said under his breath next to me, reading my mind.

Cliché, but okay…

"But one of the rules of the treaty is that we may not bite or turn a human. Obviously, Alice broke that rule right in two…"

Oops, right?

"They're not exactly reasonable when it comes to this, but they are too nervous to cross into vampire home ground, especially the Volturi's…Problem is, the fact that there are werewolves within a hundred miles of Volterra pisses the Volturi off anyway…" Edward whispered and I paused. "And while the Volturi do offer us adequate protection, I fear we're rapidly losing their favor…"

"Obviously," I mumbled back as Sulpicia lifted off of Aro's lap and began to approach us.

"We have suffered at the hands of your humiliating disrespect multiple times and forgave it due to past relationships with Effy and Carlisle," Sulpicia said as she took long strides and Jane followed behind her, her two creepy pals shadowing her every move. I saw Esme twitch at the continued use of that nickname, Effy or Effervescence…Hmm…I wondered what their past relationships actually entailed.

"And while I do not desire to do so, before we may begin to work through this mess, your slights and hostility will _not_be over looked anymore. It seems for too long we've given you all a leash that far exceeds the lengths to which you may stray when it comes to our world. There is no excuse for the behavior you all have exhibited from the moment we gave our assistance and protection," Sulpicia ranted as they came closer and closer, Aro and the two other men still sitting, relaxed on their thrones.

Instinctively, I knew their approach meant something was about to happen, and it couldn't have been good, especially with what Sulpicia was saying.

However, Esme's scoff stopped her cold in her tracks.

"Do not give us that bullshit. Do you think we're daft, Sulpicia? Did you honestly think we wouldn't catch on, just a little bit to the games you all are playing?" Esme scowled deeply and I felt a well of pride in my chest for her as Sulpicia's eyebrows shot up.

"From the moment Victoria arrived, I knew. I _knew_ you had something to do with this. I'm going to let you know right now, you are not as powerful, as in control as you think. You do not pull our strings because we are most certainly not your puppets, not your pawns, not your oblivious little servants or subjects. You are _not_ royalty and you do _not _control us and if you attempt to punish us, you'll have hell to pay," Esme's voice rose and she'd taken the last few steps forward till she was nose to nose with Sulpicia who was struggling to hide her shock and her anger.

There was a pause as the whole room held its breath and then Sulpicia smiled a sweet, deceiving smile, lifting her hand to push a stray hair from Esme's face.

"You still have that fire, my Effy…You still fight me…"

There was a defined slap, a dull crack as Esme's marble wrist connected with Sulpicia's and sent the despicable woman's hand out wide, away from her body as Carlisle growled low in his throat from behind them.

Sulpicia's eyes flashed once again and the corners of her mouth turned down as her lip curled, hinting at a snarl, but she sneered instead as she took a step back, Esme's eyes trained on her the whole way, not backing down. The collective shift from the Cullens and myself put us all behind Esme, backing her up.

Whatever the Volturi wanted, thought they could do or control us like we were their slaves to be _punished_, they had it wrong. We were not about to bow down or give in so easily.

The two women had a stare down, the tension in the air crackling as Jane and the two men with her stood readily behind Sulpicia and Aro stood slightly.

"Why are we fighting? This is silly! This is absurd! We are friends! Please, everyone…"

Aro's calling was cut off abruptly and I felt my heart drop and my fangs dip in seconds as Sulpicia, faster than I'd thought possible, blurred behind me and Alice was suddenly _gone_.

I turned in circles, snarling as I spun around once fully and the Cullens all roared angrily as I spotted Sulpicia, standing at the foot of the steps with Alice in her arms, Alice's chin cradled in the palm of her hand, the other arm wrapped around her waist tightly, digging her nails into my mate's hip.

I went berserk.

I tore across that floor so fast I think I almost flew. Sulpicia merely sneered once more and I skidded to a stop in front of them, halting my charge as Alice cried out in pain as the bitch jerked her head up, too far.

It was a warning and I heeded it, reluctantly as I growled and snarled in Sulpicia's face, rapidly losing all control.

But if I attacked, Sulpicia would break her neck…I didn't doubt it for a second.

Carlisle had told me there was only a few ways to kill a vampire. Burn it or sever its head from the spinal column. Breaking the neck was a pretty good way to go about doing that.

Alice trembled in Sulpicia's grasp as I bared my fangs and paced in front of them, my hands shaking.

I heard the Cullen's outcry but my eyes stayed locked on her ruby red ones.

I had never wanted to kill someone so much in my life.

"Not so haughty now, are we?" Sulpicia tilted her head, teasingly scraping her nails along Alice's throat and I growled.

"Let her go. Just let her go. She didn't do anything," I breathed raggedly and she only continued to sneer.

"No…I don't think I will…You see, you all seem to have forgotten the way things are…" Sulpicia spoke, eyeing all of us as she did, lightly dragging the tips of her black nails into Alice's neck as she did, pissing me off in so many ways.

I'd come to learn that the neck is a very tender, sensitive and affectionate spot for vampires. It is also a place to mark for possession, for ownership and every second Sulpicia's fingers remained against Alice's throat, I wanted to rip them off even more.

"You seem to think that you are stronger, better than the Volturi…You seem to think you have the ability to defy us…That you are above our laws…By all means, you all deserve to be aflamed, one by one, with Jane torturing you the whole way through it and Chelsea severing your precious ties as she does," Sulpicia went on and I snarled in frustration, whining softly when Alice tensed in the bitch's arms, angling her head away from those probing fingers.

"However…That would be…Such a waste. Your clan has so much potential…Although, the disrespect, the crimes you have committed against us especially in light of our hospitality deserves a severe punishment…You have brought the wolves and the humans and vampires alike to our doorstep, you make claims of a woman we have already killed to protect you though we should never have interfered but did because we cared for you…And yet you treat us like this…" Sulpicia's tone went softer and her eyes slowly came back to mine.

I tried to kill her with my look, I really did. I wanted her to drop dead beneath my gaze.

She didn't.

"And you…A newborn _attacked _me…You should already be burning alive, yet by my grace, you live…Young Isabella, do you know what my power is?" Sulpicia asked suddenly, still gripping Alice easily in her grip.

I shook my head, unable to speak through my rage.

"Tell her, little one," Sulpicia urged Alice whose lip curled at their proximity.

"Mind control," Alice grunted. "Look, Sulpicia, we never meant for things to happen like this-" Sulpicia cut Alice off by scraping her nails over her neck, digging into her skin and making me roar angrily at them, my hands curled helplessly into claws.

I couldn't hit her. I couldn't protect Alice.

"Sulpicia, sweetheart…Can't we be reasonable about this? Surely punishment is in order, but these are our friends," Aro cried, coming up behind them, still with that childlike innocence.

I really didn't detect any malevolence within him. He seemed to be genuinely concerned with the fact that we were all at each other's throats.

I was slowly beginning to realize something. Aro was just a show piece. He was not the real orchestrator of all the madness we endured and I was certain now that the Volturi were involved in everything that had happened, but it was Sulpicia. She was the mastermind here.

Sulpicia ignored her husband.

"Do you know what it's like to feel real, true pain?" the ebony haired woman breathed as Alice struggled a bit, quickly stopping when Sulpicia clawed her hip.

"Do _you?_" I snapped back pathetically.

Yup, worst come back ever but whatever. I just wanted her claws off my girl.

"More than you know," Sulpicia sneered back. "However, maybe Jane should teach you what it's like," she added and Jane stepped up behind me.

I whipped around, unwilling to just lie down and take the pain. No way. I would follow through on Rosalie's promise to punt the little shit if she tried anything on me.

But before I could drive my foot into her, her eyes narrowed slightly and I felt a push into my body. At first, everything burned, stung and ached for a split second and I shuddered, jerking. My nerves lit up and my cells rebelled at the intrusion. I hated the alien feeling, the violated feeling and my stomach flip flopped.

Before I could process what was happening, I pushed _back_. My body lurched a bit and mine and Jane's eyes went wide.

And then she crumpled, screaming her lungs out, clawing at her arms, her whole body as I kept my eyes on her, unable, literally unable to pull my gaze away.

My body was tingling as she writhed and I heard shocked cries throughout the whole room.

Holy fuck…

"You bitch! Stop it! Leave her alone!" I heard a voice cry and then my right temple cracked as the lean man I'd seen earlier struck me hard, sending me toppling over.

"Alec!" Jane dry sobbed as I reacted instantly, righting myself and tackling him backwards. We both snarled angrily and then all hell broke loose.

The dark haired burly man met Jasper and Edward head on as the Cullens finally broke, lashing back out at the Volturi. The room collided in a raging, roaring mass as I wrestled Alec and Rosalie broke free of the mess as men and women in shining, glittering armor poured out from the room behind the thrones.

I didn't get a good look at them because Jane, the creepy bitch was latched onto my back, hell bent on tearing my neck out as I ground and pounded Alec, overwhelming him easily. But I did see that what they were wearing was nearly see through but it shimmered, glittered beautifully in the light…

It looked like _diamond_armor, at least from what I could see over Jane's stupid ass head.

But what I did see was Rosalie leap right over Alice and slam into Sulpicia, ripping her adoptive sister from the woman's grip as the some five or six armored people lay into the Cullens and the room echoed with animalistic snarls and cries.

Carlisle and Esme were fighting two of them, Jasper and Edward were still beating the shit out of Jane's other pal and Emmett was fighting three of the armored guards.

Boy was a beast…

I whirled on Jane and yanked her over my shoulder, slamming her down on Alec and elbowing her once in the face for good measure, adrenaline and rage pumping through my veins as much as it could.

I leaped up and spotted through the madness Rosalie taking on Sulpicia.

"ROSALIE!" Alice screamed and I knew it, I could tell easily that there was no chance in hell Rosalie would win as she desperately tried to protect Alice.

In seconds, Rosalie's attacks were dodged, countered and then halted as Sulpicia kicked out the backs of her knees, dropping her down to the floor on them.

Sulpicia was too good…What I'd seen from our fight was nothing compared to the effortless finesse she expressed in her movements, doing what I had thought impossible.

She beat Rosalie and she beat her bad…

_Too_bad…

And I don't care how cliché it sounds, how bad move it may be, it seemed to happen in slow motion as Sulpicia cupped Rosalie's chin, snarling and baring inch and a half long fangs. Her other hand landed on the back of the blonde's neck and there was a bang, a deafening, horrifying _CRACK _as she yanked and twisted…

Snapping Rosalie's neck cleanly.

My heart stopped beating. The whole room went quiet, went very still. Even the guards paused in their battles to look up as Rosalie's neck bent weird, gut wrenchingly awkward.

I watched the light leave her eyes as she toppled forward and knew Alice's pained screams would haunt me for a long time to come.


	26. Down On Your Luck

Esme's knee hit Sulpicia's face before Rosalie hit the floor.

The resounding, thunderous crack threw the whole room into motion again. The noise was echoed but everyone's fighting seemed to be distracted as the two deadly, powerful female predators got _down_.

What I had seen from Esme's little demonstration a while back was nothing compared to the raw, feral power she exhibited, the blind rage in those features I'd come to associate with joy and hospitality.

Esme had exploded across the room as soon as she'd seen her adoptive daughter fall. She straight up flying kneed Sulpicia right in the middle of her smug, horrible face and the noise it made was deafening in the cavernous room.

They both let loose battle roars as Sulpicia staggered and Esme launched forward again, a mere streak, a blur in motion. Sulpicia was on her in moments and the whole room really just had to stop as they tore around, crashing and smashing into each other all around us.

For a split second, you could catch a glimpse of furious eyes, a pause as they reared back and swung, but their speed far outmatched the speed of which I'd seen with Alice and Rosalie's fights. They were ridiculously strong as they streaked into each other, the evidence of their blows clear as they rang out in bangs and claps that jarred my new hearing even if I couldn't really see what was going on.

"You bitch! I'll fucking kill you!" Esme screamed and there was a pause as they both jumped back and the heartbroken woman's eyes were shining so much that I could tell, even so far away as this room really was huge, her face contorted into the epitome of rage. Esme's fangs were fully dropped; her posture was taut and furious. The two warriors had ended up behind everyone, and Sulpicia was backed against the farthest wall from us. The door we had entered with the bitch was opposite to it.

There were spider webs, maps of cracks along both their bodies but Sulpicia fared worse than Esme, much to my pleasure. There was a long gaping gash of sickly gray flesh across the bridge of her crooked nose, cracking across her cheeks and tinier but no less pronounced breaks in the marble skin around her eyes. I assumed it was from Esme's first attack.

They both seethed as the room watched in silence, too captivated by their epic duel. Even the diamond armored guards watched in awed silence.

"You know who's pretty little neck I'm going to break next, my Effy? Hmm?" Sulpicia sneered as Esme paced in front of her, upper lip curled back and twitching with utter hatred that the bitch took no notice or interest in.

"I think I'll snap your little Lullaby's throat right in two…"

The roaring _CRACK_ that echoed throughout the room as if a lightning bolt had landed right next to me was loud enough, but the shattering, explosion of the solid brick and concrete wall only defined it even more. I winced as Sulpicia was utterly devastated, blasting through the wall as Esme's foot drove right into her chest. My ears hurt, too sensitive to withstand the noise.

Esme roared, deep in her chest, propelling the hate and agony out through her mouth, challenging Sulpicia.

Moments later, a blur of blackish-white streaked through the huge hole Sulpicia's body had left and then it was on like Donkey Kong.

Before I could see Sulpicia slam into Esme, Jane was wrapped around my neck, snarling viciously in my ear, arms crushing my windpipe. I snarled back harder, clawing at her forearms as the room vaulted into movement again, the noises of vampires brawling evident with shotgun bangs, thunder claps.

Before I could turn and decapitate the frigging creepy girl riding my shoulders, Alec appeared in front of me, still bearing the fractures in his porcelain skin from my earlier ass whooping.

If the boy wanted another, well he could sure as hell have it. At this point, I was back in vampire mode, well fed or not. My mate had been attacked; Esme was on the verge of a breakdown, Rosalie…

Rosalie was _dead_.

And even through the boiling hot fury welling in my chest and stomach, I couldn't detach Spider Monkey Jane from my neck. I stumbled backwards, throat bubbling with vampiric noises of anger and frustration as my neck cricked awkwardly and Alec began to wail on me from the front, punching my exposed and vulnerable abdomen.

She was trying to kill me. Jane was literally trying to break my neck and I set my shoulders, braced against her flexing arms. For all the looks and size of the girl, she was stronger than she appeared.

And Alec?

I felt like I was being socked with a sledge hammer every time his knuckles cracked into me.

That is, until I heard Alice's furious cry from somewhere behind me. Jane was wrenched painfully from my body and I reacted without conscious thought, instinctively throwing my head low and bull rushing Alec, shouldering him hard in the chest. He yelped and we fell back a good five feet, crashing into the ground with me on top of him.

Payback is a bitch, right, Alec?

I began to ground and pound the little bitch again, wildly smashing his face with my fists. I probably would have torn all the granite skin from his face if I hadn't heard Alice's pained wail rise into the air.

My ears pricked and I leapt up, spinning, Alec groaning beneath me.

Yeah, he wasn't getting up any time soon. And when he did, he could busy himself picking up the pieces of his face.

_Get _some, boy.

I spotted Alice and Jane a little bit away from me, more towards the all out battle going on between the Cullens and the armored guards.

Even though I only glanced, I could see the blurs and streaks, heard their endless noises as Edward and Jasper battled together, taking on one guard and the man they'd first fought. I could see Emmett thrashing the two guards still standing in his wake.

Emmett's wrath over his dead sister was ferocious. Though the two guards fought valiantly, their friend lying unmoving with no head a few feet away, they were nothing in the enraged older brother's wake.

Carlisle fought two guards as well, but he was not as strong as his adoptive son, who still had the curious powerful ability in those rippling muscles. Emmett really did look more like a grizzly bear than a teddy bear right then.

Carlisle was precise, though, and hard to out maneuver. He fought on, tirelessly as Sulpicia and Esme still wove around the room, the most powerful, angry fight off all.

Until I set my eyes between Jane's shoulder blades, her back turned to me as she glared down on my writhing, screaming mate.

As my eyes landed on Alice's, ebony agony rip roaring through her body, swirling in her pupils, I felt the slight twinge of pain that had come when Jane had attempted to use her power on me.

Without thinking about it, I pushed, using all the anger that had been building in my body since Rosalie had crumpled and lay broken, still on the floor.

Jane's answering shriek of pain was satisfying but what was even better was knocking her the fuck out as I lunged forward, throwing her around to face me by the shoulder and grabbing onto her black cloak, lifting her easily as she squirmed and cried in pain.

And then I dropped her, shooting my foot out and driving it right into her stomach, toes first.

Can anyone say _GOAL_?

She went flying as I punted her, snarling. The freaky chick soared between the thrones and crash landed somewhere in the room beyond.

And though Rosalie and I had never been on the best of terms, I think she would have been proud.

"Bella," Alice whimpered, trembling as she tried to stand, pushing up on shaking, weak arms.

I growled softly in the back of my throat, crouching next to her, worriedly. I was not capable of human speech, but I could understand her.

"We have to get out of here," Alice breathed as I wrapped my arms around her, scooping her to my chest, eyes running around the room in case another threat posed itself.

I was no longer in kick someone's ass mode. I was in keep Alice safe mode.

"The Volturi Guard is coming. We have to go before they join in. We're done for if they arrive," Alice said, standing in my arms, looking into my eyes.

It was weird, the short pause I had as I looked at her then. Cliché as it might have been, the world froze for a moment as I took her in, really looked at her for the first time.

With my new, crystal clear HD vision, I saw Alice. Her short, messy black locks, which by the way, I could see nearly every strand of glossy black hair, the storm in her eyes, the smooth yet sharp contour of her jaw, the panicked set of it, the delicate curve in her heart shaped lips…

It was weird, but it was amazing, too. If it had been any other situation, I'd have been floored.

Mm, if I was going to end up with a vampire due to one fateful day of detention and a life changing piece of gum, go through a living hell to be with her, get crushed by her and then become like her, well, at least she was pretty bomb in terms of hotness.

Not to mention her kick ass taste in music and general sweetness.

I could dig it, is what I'm saying. If I was stuck with Alice for life, forever, then that was fine by me.

I nodded my head but wasn't quite sure what to do. How were we going to get everyone together and then escape the Volturi? And what the hell is the Guard?

I found out pretty quickly.

The door that we had entered through into this hellish courtroom busted open and the sound of clattering feet met my ears. Alice cursed and spun and we both acted on instinct.

The room broke apart as the Cullen family tore away from their respective battles, forming a line together as twenty diamond armored guards sprinted inside, going ninety miles an hour. We joined the Cullens, snarling threateningly, warning off what I assumed to be the Guard.

The Guard formed a wall between the thrones and the men occupying them.

My eyes landed on Aro and I was bewildered. He looked like he was about to cry…

The men and women before us were all decked out in classic medieval like breast plates that seemed to be honed from solid diamond, crystal clear, sparkling in the lighting. They also had similar leggings, like shin guards and a collar of diamond around their throats that gleamed, lethally beautiful. They all looked like warriors ready to go, except for the five or six that had met the Cullen wrath. They just looked battered, bruised and annoyed.

While the Cullens roared defiantly, crouched together, they only looked on with grim, determined expressions.

Our stare off was broken when a loud crashing sounded behind us. The Cullens were not eager to turn their backs on the Guard, but when Esme and Sulpicia went soaring over our heads, it really didn't matter.

I barely caught wind of a furious growling, a myriad of colorful curses as the two blurred past us and came to a smashing halt at the foot of the thrones, sending up pieces of marble and concrete.

When the dust cleared, they were revealed, with Esme pinning Sulpicia by her throat, snarling, pure hatred in her eyes.

Next to them lay Rosalie's lifeless body and my heart lurched at the sight of it.

I still couldn't believe it…Rosalie was dead…Gone…

I suddenly wanted nothing more than for Esme to rip Sulpicia's throat out.

There was a pause as Esme's chest heaved and she glared down at the sick bitch.

And then Sulpicia laughed.

Fucking A, I hate it when the bad guy laughs! God!

"D-do you really think you're going to kill me, Effy? Honestly, truly? Look around! Even if your family wasn't on the brink of destruction, do you really think your heart could stand to end my life?" Sulpicia sneered and though I hated it so much, she was right.

Even with all our powers, we were no match for the Volturi Guard. We were outnumbered, horribly so. The Guard looked formidable and if I'm being honest, really intimidating. They did not move, merely awaited the command to attack, to defend their royalty.

And even though it probably wasn't appropriate, I took a moment to reflect back and say, quite frankly, fuck you, Stride. Fuck you and your gum for getting me into this shit.

Just fuck you.

Esme snarled and squeezed Sulpicia's windpipe making the evil laugh die in her throat as she winced.

"My Effy…" Sulpicia whispered softly, gazing up at the enraged, heartbroken woman on top of her. "It never had to be this way…You could have stayed with me…We could have had it all…"

"Shut _UP_! Shut up, you narcissistic bitch!" Esme screamed, clawing Sulpicia's marble skin. "You killed her! You _killed _my daughter! I will _never _forgive that! You are _NOTHING_ to me! You were never _ANYTHING_ at _ALL_ to me and I _swear_, I'll kill you, I swear I will…" Esme sobbed and at her words, I watched Sulpicia's regretting, softened eyes harden, her face darkening.

"She wasn't _your_ daughter, Effy. She was an orphaned _brat _who will _never_ be _your_ child."

That did it. Esme exploded, wrenching at Sulpicia's neck but the ebony haired woman twisted her hips as half the Guard lunged to help, wrapping her legs around Esme's hips and ripping her off.

Esme went down in a pile of glittering warriors, roaring defiantly, fighting most likely to her end. My stomach dropped and I heard the Cullens let out a despairing wail. We all lurched forward and the Guard finally broke their apathetic expressions, lips twitching back, hinting at their fangs as they tensed, crouching in preparation.

"No!" Carlisle snarled, moving in front of us as the commotion at the thrones continued, Esme's cries clawing their way at my heart.

I wanted nothing more than to fight, to kill, to defend…

Most of all, I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to be a vampire anymore. I didn't want to think about vampires, werewolves, the hell I'd been brought into.

I just wanted to go home.

We didn't understand why Carlisle prevented us from moving on the offensive. He stood in front of us, his face pained and torn.

"No…" he whispered. "I have already lost one of my children. I will not lose the rest. You all need to leave. Run. Just go!"

"Hell no!" Emmett snarled, body shaking with anger. "We are NOT leaving you guys!"

"It wasn't a question!" Carlisle roared back and Emmett blanched as Carlisle, for the first time, pulled Alpha male.

"Carlisle, there's no way in hell we can do that!" Jasper protested and we growled in agreement.

Even if the Cullens weren't my true family, I loved them like they were. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving Esme in Sulpicia's clutches. Already I could see her struggling valiantly beneath ten of the Guard, even as their blows rained down, trying to submit her.

Oh, Esme…She refused to give in, fighting like mad beside the body of her daughter on the shattering, broken steps.

We'd already lost Rose…I couldn't take it if Esme went down, too.

"You can and you will. Just get the hell out of here! NOW!"

I had never seen Carlisle so wild and feral. With every furious, desperate cry from his mate he flinched and jerked hard.

"No…" We shook our heads and he roared, causing us to blanch.

"Please, I know it hurts…But you have to go…We'll be fine…I promise…We'll come back to you…Just get out of here…Go to the mountains…Find that clan…I swear we'll be okay…I love you all, now GO!" Carlisle ordered and I could see Alice's eyes were shining.

My heart was breaking but he was right. He couldn't leave Esme, not his mate. There was no possible way for him to leave her.

But we would all die if we tried to keep fighting…We had lost here…We'd lost, badly.

There is no bravery in blind rage, no honor in fighting pointlessly…But it still felt cowardly to turn tail and run for the hills…Leaving family, friends, parents behind…

"NOW!" Carlisle repeated and hesitantly, reluctantly we began to back away as he turned, chest rumbling violently.

It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, to turn away as Carlisle let out a death defying roar and ripped forward, screaming a challenge.

We never would have made it out of there if Edward hadn't been shoving us onward, face horrified, swallowing hard.

Over my shoulder I watched as the Guard lunged forward and Carlisle crashed into them, taking them four down with him like bowling pins.

I wish I could say he fought and won, even made a dent in their ranks. I wish I could say he beat at least one. I wish I could say he beat them all and went after us, Esme in his arms.

But this isn't a fairytale, and that's not what happened. He crumpled, overwhelmed and Esme cried out in pain as she was smashed into the floor, finally defeated, Sulpicia glaring down on her.

And even when her dark, bloody eyes rose to meet mine across the room, glaring, piercing into me as I had to wrap my arms around a screaming Alice to prevent her from going to her mother and father, it did not stop me from meeting that look.

I tried to tell her what I was thinking and she didn't need mind reading powers to understand what I was saying.

Terminator had nothing on me in that moment.

I'll be back for you, bitch. And I'll fucking obliterate you.

"MOMMY! DADDY! NO! Let go of me! Let me go! MOMMY!" Alice cried as we blasted through the doors, no one able to look back but my pixie, who just couldn't seem to tear her eyes away, kind of like in a horror film where someone's dying an awful, gruesome death, or a train wreck, where the whole thing goes up in flames as it slides of its rails and decimates the earth.

I lied.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was hang onto a sobbing Alice as we ran through the palace, her fighting me the whole way.

* * *

The only resistance we met as we ran silently through the golden halls, Edward leading us, was two diamond clad guards who froze in front of what I assumed to be the exit, as it was a pair of huge ass doors, rising all the way to the ceiling.

They took one look at us, seething and stepped aside.

We did not stop to decapitate them though I'm sure we all wanted to. We just exploded through the doors, thankfully into nighttime and were washed in the bright moonlight.

"Do you think we should have tried to stop them…?" one of the two said faintly as we raced over cobblestone, and I didn't even look back to see the hellish building I'd just left.

"I prefer my head attached to my shoulders…" the other one replied as we disappeared into the city.

We raced through the night, stonily silent. Even Alice made no noise, sprinting beside me, face eerily blank, jaw locked. It was disturbingly quiet and if I may be so cliché, it felt like the whole world had gone hushed at the monstrosity that had been committed on this frosty night.

I could barely see the terrain, could not really take in Volterra, but somehow, I managed to keep from running into anything, instinctively staying on my feet, dodging around buildings as Edward led us on.

After about a minute of running we screeched to a halt at a pair of large, black iron gates that were attached to the creamy stone lining Volterra. They were closed and heavily locked.

Emmett solved this by slamming his foot into the black bars, smashing it open with a screech of bending, tearing metal.

No one said anything. We just stared, unsure, out at the road before us, the trees lining it. Beyond these gates was nothing but what looked to be an endless road and endless vegetation, that all ended with a line of bulky mountains in the distance.

Edward moved first, walking like a human and we followed soundlessly, hesitantly stepping out of the city.

We'd gone no more than ten feet when the trees exploded with movement and holy fucking shit…

Five hulking, horrifying, salivating, seven foot tall beasts emerged.

It was like a horror movie come to life.

They were…

They were werewolves.

They were real life werewolves.

Apparently, no one had been shitting me.

And Jesus Christ, if their huge, furry bodies and wide, snapping, barking jaws weren't bad enough, they _reeked_. I had never smelt something so awful, so nasty. I gagged and bared my fangs as the Cullens, startled, hissed and crouched down.

The wolves moved almost as one, lurching violently toward us, howling and roaring, foaming at the mouth.

I'd be lying if I said they didn't scare the piss out of me. They were huge. Alice was positively dwarfed by even the smallest one.

My slow heartbeat doubled and even though it went only as fast as a human's, it felt like it was hammering against my chest.

"You wanna go motherfuckers?" Emmett roared and I knew subconsciously he was looking for a fight. He was probably thrilled at the thought of getting to kill something, especially now.

I automatically shifted in front of Alice and it was kind of a slap to the face at how familiar the movement was. When I had been human, she had done that exact same thing whenever she felt threatened, or if she felt I was threatened.

Whether it be jealousy or because a certain redhead vampire was in the vicinity, she did it.

It was just a protective instinct as I braced, ready to fight anything, even Godzilla to defend her.

Before anyone could do or say anything else, not that the wolfies could really talk, at least, I don't think they could, the trees rustled again.

What the fuck was it now? Don't tell me. It's a swarm of angry wood elves backed by their fairies and nymphs and special pixie dust.

Out of the darkness, silently, figures emerged, slowly surrounding everyone, including the barking werewolves.

They were…Vampires.

I hadn't been expecting the obvious, which kind of pissed me off. I'd been totally prepared this time for total nonsensical bovine fecal matter but that's just not how it went down for once.

Of course.

These vampires outnumbered even the guard. I counted them swiftly, eyeing them with my vampire senses. A some forty, golden eyed vampires soundlessly floated from the trees. I tensed and growled when I noticed them stepping behind us, beautiful and deadly.

At first, I thought they were part of the Volturi, but their golden eyes hinted that they were not hostile. At first, I thought they were surrounding us in preparation for an attack and I actually did twist towards the ones behind us, nervously trying to keep Alice safe.

However, I was convinced we were not under mass attack ambush or something when, and I'm not being racist or anything, the first black vampire I'd ever seen stepped in front of us, back completely open and vulnerable to us.

His skin was a rich, dark chocolate and his dreadlocks hung down to his lower back. It was a peculiar color, his skin. It was pale and dark at the same time.

The wolves were now utterly panicked. They had been hell bent on tearing into us, but they were much less inclined to attack now that they were sorely outmatched.

"We do not wish to fight," the vampire said in a slightly strained, accented voice. It sounded like French Jamaican, which was weird, but the lilt was pleasant.

The werewolves snarled at him, backs to backs, warily, anxiously squirming as the golden eyed predators watched on, silently.

"We do not want to shed blood here. We bear you no ill will, but if you attempt to harm any of the Cullens or Isabella Swan, we will attack. I think it best if you return to your pack," he murmured, posture loose.

Huh. Dude knew my name.

Why am I not surprised?

It wasn't much of a guessing thing, as I was pretty sure this was Memento Mori.

The wolves turned slowly, evaluating their chances. They wisely decided they were screwed if they tried anything and warily, they began to back away, snarling the whole time. The circle of vampires broke, widening to allow them to move on.

And as they disappeared down the road, yelping and snapping their jaws, I caught sight of a pair of deep brown eyes that twanged my memory ever so slightly. The owner of that pair of eyes glanced back at me several times as he ran on all fours.

They looked…So familiar…

When they were gone, the man who had spoken turned to us and we tensed up.

"I understand you all are probably very upset and confused at the moment…We wish you no harm, and in fact offer our humblest of services…We can protect you from the wolves, as they have inhabited these parts in great numbers…We ask that you come with us…" he said softly and we all glanced at each other.

It wasn't much of a choice, was it? We could either go back into Volterra (snort) or get devoured by angry werewolves.

Slowly, Edward nodded, glancing at us for quick confirmation.

"My name is Laurent, but we really don't have time for proper introductions. Follow me, if you will…"

'Laurent' motioned to us and we reluctantly followed after him as he leaped into the forest.

Carlisle had said to find the Memento Mori…

* * *

Laurent led us, backed by his coven through the forest. We ran and ran for a good five minutes, covering a vast amount of land with our speed. Even if I had endless reserves of energy now, especially pumped up on blood…Ugh, human blood…I felt exhausted.

I was tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of moving, tired of thinking…

I wanted my Mommy. That was that. I wanted Renee badly, and would have given anything to curl up in her arms and stay that way forever, safe and untouchable.

I felt a sharp pang when I remembered that Alice would probably never even see her mother again.

We reached a clearing and a solid wall of rock, the bottom of a mountain. There was a black hole inside it, a cave, an opening. I couldn't see into its gloom, even with vampire sight and a shining moon.

However, my whole body jarred and Alice lurched when a red haired, all too familiar pale woman stepped out of its depths, smiling serenely at Laurent.

My heartbeat stopped fully. My stomach flip flopped and my mind was utterly locked.

"You were gone so long that I was wondering if the wolves had gotten you, my friend," _Victoria _murmured in that sickeningly familiar, silky honey voice as she swiftly walked forward and she and Laurent _embraced_ tightly.

What.

_The._

FUCK.


	27. Can't Quite Get It

I shoved Alice behind me and snarled. I wasn't the only one; in an instant, all of our fangs were bared and we sounded like a pack of rabid dogs…

Actually, you know what, in hindsight of the whole werewolf thing, I don't really like that term.

…It's kind of a bummer that I can't really think of anything besides that.

Anyway.

"Oh? Oh, dear. Now, children, please…" Victoria's eyebrows shot up and she put her hands up.

She picked the wrong day. She picked the wrong family, at the wrong moment, to open her mouth and lift her hands.

I bolted across the ground and slammed into her…Or so I thought. I had kind of been going for a whole, 'I'll hit her before she hits me' thing, but that didn't quite work out.

COUGHWhyamInotsurprisedCOUGH.

Before I could hit the red haired demon, I was flipping six ways to Sunday, wondering why I could now see my ass, right before I crashed into the ground, face first.

Sigh.

I don't know why I bother. Honestly, it wasn't even an attempt to be a hero, but my dumb ass just basically got owned.

"Isabella…Ah, I see you all have been busy in my absence…She's a vampire, Laurent?" Victoria tilted her head and my blood boiled as I thought of the chocolate skinned vampire.

We had been betrayed. We had jumped out of the frying pan, into a pot of boiling hot water. Frigging great.

Well, fine.

But there was no way I was going down without a fight.

Maybe it was because I was in newborn vampire mode, but it was probably because I was just _really_, really stupid, but I tried.

Again.

To get her.

I don't learn quickly…

I lunged up from the ground, intent on hitting her from behind but she ducked and I went sailing over her head. As I tried to flip and land on my feet like a startled cat, her heel drove into my stomach and sent me, once again, flying through the air.

Fail.

Fail, fail, fail.

I crashed into Alice who yelped and caught me as we fell into the dirt.

"Children, please!" Laurent cried.

I don't know why he's saying children, seeing as how he should be saying child, the singular form of the word, considering I'm the only one doing anything.

Speaking of which, what the hell is up, guys? You Cullens are just chilling, standing around while I get my ass whooped.

"Bella, Bella, wait…" Alice whispered in my ear, but it was too late.

I leaped up and bolted right for Victoria. I was high on adrenaline, and if I'm being honest, fear. My stomach still churned with what had happened before and I knew what she was capable of.

To be fair, I was terrified she'd come back for Alice. Something deep inside me recoiled violently at the thought that she would take my mate, my girl from me.

It was kind of a, 'A good offense is a good defense' thing.

I was more careful this time when I jumped up and rushed towards her. See? I do catch on a little.

Too bad it didn't mean shit.

As I swiped at her face, she crooked her wrist and popped mine with it, knocking my fist wide. She open palmed shoved me so hard that it felt like a punch to my chest as I wobbled and went stumbling backwards.

"You're a feisty little one, aren't you?" she sneered and as she whirled around to once again kick me away, I ducked it.

HA HA! Not this time, bitch!

WHACK.

In my exhilaration that I had finally dodged one of her blows, I didn't notice her switch feet and hit me with her left heel instead.

As it was, I got face kicked right back into my snarling mate.

Once again, I landed face down in the dirt.

…

Epic fail.

"Bella, stop! Hold on for a second!" Alice hissed, wrapping her arms tight around me as I roared defiantly.

I have to say, I'm a stupid vampire, man.

Hey, but you can't deny. I don't give up, at least.

I struggled and jerked, turning to Alice with bewildered, wild eyes. I had lost any semblance of control as she held me in her lap, beseeching me.

Obviously, I was missing something. The Cullens were all braced together but they didn't attack or panic. They just glared at Laurent and a smirking Victoria, damn her, not moving.

I didn't understand it. I was in a whirl of confusion and I whimpered uncertainly at Alice, who hushed me and held me close as we stood up slowly.

"Now, I know you all are confused and upset…" Laurent said, golden eyes eyeing us warily as he, too raised his hands in front of him.

"Damn right we are! What is she doing here, Laurent? Your mind says she's a _friend_!" Edward snapped and we all growled threateningly.

"Yet, I detect no hostility or ill will from either of them..." Jasper muttered, shifting warily.

"If you would let him _finish_-" Victoria rolled her eyes.

"You shut the hell up!" Alice snarled and I'd have smirked back at the bitch if I had been capable of doing so at that point.

Her eyebrow twitched but she did, indeed, shut the hell up.

I was still very aware of the plenty of vampires surrounding us, watching us from the trees. Forty pairs of amber eyes glowed softly in the moonlight.

It made my Fight or Flight instinct kick in and I pushed back into Alice, my heart flip flopping. She was holding me from behind and she brushed her nose encouragingly over my shoulder as I whimpered.

"Well, it seems the big bad newborn isn't so big and bad after all," Victoria decided to ruin the new excellent change of keeping her mouth shut as she saw me squirm uncomfortably.

In response, I snarled as hard as I could, my chest ripping with anger. She just smirked again, crossing her arms, infuriating me enough to demolish any sense of fear.

Alice prevented me from making myself look like an ass again as I growled and stepped towards her.

Man, I had it worse than a boy hopped up on testosterone who had just been told he had a tiny dick.

"Victoria," Laurent reprimanded softly before turning back to us. "Victoria is a friend, as are we," he insisted but Alice cut him off.

"Anyone who makes friends with her is no friend of ours!" she cried and we all nodded in agreement.

"Please! She is not your enemy! She was never your enemy!" Laurent cried back and we looked on incredulously.

Not the enemy? No, never the girl who deliberately mind rapes someone's mate, tortures _her_ mate for a good while when she comes back, then decides to mind rape and torture the both of them before disappearing into the woods with her ominous and _ridiculously_ annoying riddles…

Where was Rosalie when you needed her…?

…Fuck…

Just fuck…I had almost forgotten in the nonsense I was currently enduring…

Rosalie was dead…

She couldn't save our asses this time. I wanted nothing more than the scary but so protective blond to come tearing out of the forest to slam into Victoria and rip that goddamn smirk right off her sneering face.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten what I said, Isabella?" Victoria spoke up in the tense, awkward silence.

We were thrown off now. We didn't understand what to do. Attack, run, what? What was going on?

I growled, unable to speak just yet.

Oh, does she mean the whole 'pawns on a chessboard, you have no choice and neither do I' shit she was babbling about while she crushed my pharynx and mind raped Alice?

Forgive me; it must have slipped my mind.

"You all need to listen, and listen carefully. You have seen what the Volturi are capable of. They have you wrapped so tightly around their finger that you can't even tell that you're doing exactly what they want…Well, not exactly, seeing as you're here…" Victoria tilted her head.

"Stop with your riddles, Victoria," Edward scowled. We were all still crouched down, prepared to fight.

"Right, right…Forgive me, it comes with time. What I mean to say is, I never wanted to hurt you all. I never had any intentions of harming your family. Were it not for the Volturi, I'd never have even come across young Alice," she said slowly and the resounding scoff she got made her roll her eyes.

"Like it or not, I'm the only reason your precious Alice is even alive, so you can take your ungratefulness right back to the bank, brats," she snorted, keeping her arms crossed.

"What are you babbling about? Have you finally gone insane, _Vicky_?" Alice snarled, digging her nails into my hips as I squared myself when the red haired woman turned to us.

I saw her mouth the word Vicky and then scowl.

"I assume you're making a pun about how Vicky seems to rhyme with icky, but I'll let your immaturity pass for now. Yes, you seem to have forgotten what happened in Biloxi Mississippi, exactly one hundred years ago, Mary Alice Brandon," Victoria replied easily, tilting her chin up.

I felt Alice tense and pause for a long moment.

Yep. Still don't get it.

"That was when I…When I was changed…But how would you…" Alice breathed and then she let out a sharp gasp that put my sensitive nerves on edge.

"You," she whispered, peering over my bewildered shoulder. "It was _you_!"

"You finally get it, do you?" Victoria smiled softly then, a smile that for once didn't look malicious and mocking.

Alice said nothing and I glanced at her, unable to ask her to clear up my confusion.

"Alice, what…" Jasper started as we all glanced at her.

"I should have recognized those red-gold eyes…But why?" Alice hissed, swallowing hard. She looked completely unnerved now and I didn't understand.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Yeah, we can tell if you hadn't noticed that something really frigging important has just been revealed!"

Well.

I found my voice.

"Hmm? Oh, Alice had just realized that I'm the one who saved her from being 'cleansed' by a bunch of nutty priests by changing her into a vampire."

_Bitch_ slapped.

My eyes flew wide and it pretty much sobered my vampiric rage as I turned half around, searching for confirmation.

There was no way. Come on, Life. Cut the shit.

"It's true, there's no use denying it to yourselves. I told you I wouldn't kill that which I saved. You probably shouldn't start getting all warm and fluffy towards me-" Wasn't planning on it, bitch, "As I really had no choice in the matter. You see, when I appeared in your dark little prison cell, Alice, I really had no choice in the matter…Your life was not in my hands."

"Would you quit beating around the bush and just explain this nonsensical bullshit!" I yelled, whirling back around as Alice looked completely dumbstruck.

I saw Victoria's eyes narrowed and Laurent put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'd much prefer if we could discuss this inside but if explaining things now is the only thing that will convince you we're on your side, then I guess it can't be helped," the dark skinned man sighed.

We had been convinced at least to listen to what she was saying. The revelation that Victoria was Alice's sire was just too much for anyone to handle, and we were effectively struck silent for the moment.

"The Volturi have been around for some three thousand years, possibly more for that despicable Sulpicia woman. They desire the strongest of vampires, the ones with the best powers. As it was, when I was on a midnight stroll one hundred years ago, only changed recently by my friend Laurent here, we were approached by a woman in black with bright red eyes…"

"Her name was Sulpicia, and along with five of her guards, they took Laurent. The only way to prevent him being tortured for all eternity and to spare my life, they said, was to save a young girl by the name of Mary Alice Brandon, locked away in a hellish insane asylum, around five miles from our position…"

"The catch was that I had to change her. I had no idea what they wanted. I was a frightened, confused newborn. I did as they ordered. I broke into that asylum and drained her almost dry, only barely finding the strength not to kill her. It was a good thing I fed on four of the guards, as she did taste quite nice…"

Here, my chest rumbled at the thought of Victoria _tasting_ my mate, at the thought that she had _bitten_ my mate.

"Wait, you said you were a newborn. If you're three hundred years old, you'd have been like two hundred then, right? How could you have been a newborn?" Edward interrupted and Victoria shrugged.

"A newborn is classified as a mature adult after about a hundred years. Something with my powers destabilized my change, and so I was a newborn for far longer than usual...Or necessary..."

Victoria went on.

"You see, the Volturi have wanted you for far longer than you realize, Alice. They guessed correctly that your peculiar ability would carry over and intensify with your changing. Their plan dates back to that moment. The first part of their ridiculously _long_ and drawn out plan begins with your changing, Alice."

Brain overload. Too much information, too fast.

"With me…?" Alice breathed and Victoria nodded.

"You see, I didn't even know who you were. Laurent and I were content to travel the country together, doing as we pleased. The Volturi had different plans…Sulpicia learned of my powers and enticed me to join her coven, on threat of Laurent's death…I knew she was sick in the head and had no interest in her games, but Laurent…We had been friends for so long…I had no one but him. There was nothing I could do but what she wanted…"

"So the next part of her plan was put in action, ninety-eight years later. The day you met me a second time, Alice, but did not recognize me…Swimming oblivious in the lake behind your house, nearly matured with your gift…"

Aw, hell. It was all finally coming together.

"James was just a plaything I'd picked up, I wasn't lying about that…He was also to test your strength, and you tore him apart quite easily...Still, Sulpicia wanted you to come to the Volturi for help, wanted you to believe they were your allies. She orchestrated all of it, my stalking you, you eventually going to Carlisle who would inevitably go to the Volturi...Aro and Carlisle were friends before Sulpicia found me, a lucky break... She was the one who told Aro of the young female vampire, starving herself out on the road, and Aro, oblivious and foolish, fed right into her palms when he told Carlisle about that young female vampire...And he went and saved that young female vampire out of the kindness in his heart...He saved you Alice..."

"And when they herded you back to their palace and you shook hands with Aro, he saw you, Isabella and you were exactly what Sulpicia had been waiting for, what she needed. Alice didn't know, she can't look that far, that deep into her visions, but Aro can. He saw so many things Alice, and it damn near shattered his mind. He saw you becoming powerful beyond belief when you changed into a vampire, and Sulpicia wanted you, Bella. So she made it happen. Originally, she just wanted Alice to join the coven, but then Bella happened and well...That's how I ended up, back in Forks with the both of you...She figured if the plan worked once, it had to work twice, right?"

I was rocked back on my heels.

"But we watched you burn...They killed you. We saw it!" Alice cried.

"No. You saw an illusion. You saw what Zafrina, one of Sulpicia's guards, wanted you to see, which was me burning to death. I was never even there. There was no fire, there was no screaming. I never died, Alice. I was alive and well, behind the thrones, watching from the Royal Room the whole time. I have to say, the look of satisfaction on your face as you watched was quite hurtful..."

"Wait. Wait! This doesn't make sense!" I broke in, my head whirling. "I didn't come to Forks because of Sulpicia! I came because I was framed for the beating of a girl...At...My school..."

I trailed off as a sickening realization hit me.

"I see you're catching on. Yes, Sulpicia also orchestrated the beating of Josie White, the girl who insulted and bothered you on a daily basis, and then your transfer to Forks so you could 'Clear your head, have a change of scenery, and be a better person'. She is the reason Alice found you. She knew you two were mates, and she needed you two to meet within two years, not ten. If she hadn't interfered, you two would have met in a porn shop in the lesbian section when Bella was twenty-five, or so she says, which amuses her to no end, mind you..."

Despite the WTF moment I was in, I frowned.

"A porn shop...?" Alice muttered and I shrugged.

It wouldn't surprise me if I was the one in a porn shop, but Alice?

We didn't have long to dwell on it.

"She wanted the process of Bella becoming a vampire to go faster...So she had me use the other part of my powers. You see, not only can I inflict pure physical ecstasy, but I can also make one fall in love with someone..."

Here, Victoria paused for a long moment.

"I...Didn't want to do so...Not on _her_...You see, why would I ever make my mate fall for someone else...? Even temporarily...? It was so very hard to do...Sulpicia nearly killed Laurent when I refused at first..."

My stomach flip flopped. I had a feeling of where she was going with this and I did not like it.

"The night that I was ordered to reappear to you, Alice, your sister...Rosalie, she came and saved you. And on that night, I finally met my mate. Of all the people it could have been, it just had to be that temperamental blond..."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

No way.

No way.

No freaking way.

"You're Rosalie's mate?" Emmett gawked.

"Indeed. Fate is a peculiar thing, no?" Victoria smiled slowly but it didn't reach her eyes. "Where is she, actually? I'd have thought she would be with you all, trying to kick my skull in..."

Here, the silence overwhelmed us and Victoria's eyes widened as we scowled deeply.

"She's dead," Alice finally spat out. "Guess what, you sycophantic bitch? You were part of your mate's death!" Alice snarled and finally, the momentary peace we'd established broke. Several snarls ripped from the Cullens and myself as a sorrow I'd been denying since we'd fled the palace struck me like my old rusty red truck in the chest.

Rosalie was gone. She was really, really gone.

Victoria's lips parted and she shook her head.

"No...She can't be...I'd have known...I'd have felt it..." she breathed, a hand going to her chest uncertainly.

"Well she is you fucking narcissist! Everything you've been doing finally came back and bit you in the ass, didn't it?" Alice shouted furiously, in my ear. Now she wasn't holding me back; I was holding her back.

I was wary of allowing Alice anywhere near Victoria. Much as I hate to admit it, Victoria isn't weak. She's actually pretty powerful. I may not have understood everything that was going on, but I certainly didn't want Alice going off and getting her ass beaten.

Victoria paused again, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

"No, wait a moment...How did Sulpicia...Kill her, exactly? Did she, perhaps, break Rosalie's neck?" the red haired woman tilted her head.

This time, our eyes widened.

"How did you..." Alice started but Victoria allowed herself a smile smirk.

"Devilish bitch. Rosalie isn't dead. As her mate, I'd have felt the connection sever, and it didn't. I'm sure of that. Sulpicia has used that technique before. She merely paralyzed Rosalie by breaking her neck, but she did it in a certain way so that that's all she did; paralyze her, I mean. Rosalie is alive, but probably not well..." Victoria informed us and my heartbeat fluttered.

"But...We saw her..." Alice shook her head. "We saw her do it..."

"As you saw _me _die? Young one, you need to learn that your eyes don't always tell you the truth. They are the most loyal things and would never intentionally lie to you...All they do is show you what they see, whether or not it's actually happening, whether or not it's actually _real_..."

Again with the riddles, man. I get that one, sure but why not just leave it at 'Your eyes saw wrong, get over it.'

But Rosalie...Could it be possible? She was still alive?

...And with fucking Sulpicia. Okay, okay. So she's not dead. That was a plus, and by whatever god there may be, I refused to soil it.

Rosalie was alive!

I think?

Shit, who says Victoria isn't pulling a huge fast one over our heads? Jasper apparently shared my concerns.

"Hold on a minute! How do we know you're really Rosalie's mate? Who says this whole thing isn't a sham? From day damn one, you've messed with our heads. Who says you aren't just screwing with us?" he growled and Victoria rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I just spontaneously made all this up on the spot. Yes, I deliberately allowed my friend to be aflamed for an hour, so much that his skin is burned beyond healing, or at least, for a few more painful years," Victoria sneered angrily, gesturing to Laurent who sighed as he pulled back his trench coat and revealed the ugly, rugged skin on his chest.

"Yes, I deliberately allowed Sulpicia to take over my mind, deliberately allowed her to rape me several times throughout the course of our _oh so special_ friendship," she growled, finally hinting at her fangs.

Her cool exterior had finally broken. Victoria finally seriously looked pissed off.

"Victoria..." Laurent murmured but she shook him off.

"No, you know what? I know I've given you all a lot of shit in the past, especially you two, and I deserve your hostility, I really do. But what I don't deserve is to have my mate questioned. You may cross all lines but that one. Because once you do, you're inviting instincts I'm not quite sure I can control," she growled and finished her statement with a low rumble in her chest, red-gold eyes blazing.

"Alright, alright, fire crotch! Give us a break! Sue us for having just a tiny bit of trouble trusting you!" I broke in and she turned on me, glaring.

I glared right back.

"Fire crotch. Okay, whatever. I give up. Ask me if I give a hot damn whether or not you believe me. You've been dealing with this for about a year, right? Try a hundred and then come talk to me about having _trouble_," she snapped, turning on her heel.

"Victoria, wait!" Laurent cried but the red haired woman had already disappeared back into the gloom of the cave.

I really just needed a break or something. I felt like I was right back at the beginning of mine and Alice's relationship, being tossed into a world of vampires and werewolves, trying not to have my mate chomp on my throat, trying to get used to this crap.

I half expected Barnie to come running through the trees, crying out for hugs and for his mouth to open up, sounding off the blare of my alarm clock, and then I'd wake up, hanging half out of my bed with drool running down my chin, only to realize everything had been a dream and I'd been tripping acid or some shit.

Sigh.

Just one break.

Just one.

So...What have we learned, Bella?

Well, hot damn. Rosalie's alive!

...And she's Victoria's her mate!

And Victoria is apparently not so much of a bad guy...!

And Sulpicia has been planning all of this from the beginning...!

And...FUCK, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON.

"This is so stupid!" I yelled into the awkward silence that had descended when Vicky threw her temper tantrum and ran off into the spooky cave.

Everyone turned towards me but damn it all, I had had enough of this nonsense.

"You all are out of your frigging minds, man! So let's take this back to square one for a second! Vampires exist! EVIL vampires exist, and there's this uber evil clan who wants me and Alice and God knows who else for some unfathomable reason, world domination or some batshit insane crap like that and has been planning it all out for hundreds of years, and turns out Ms. Icky Vicky is not a bad guy and she's Rosalie's mate and just NO. This retarded, do you hear me? Just NO. What is this, some hellish Hollywood movie or something? Give me a _break_."

My chest was heaving by the end of my tirade and I'm sure I looked even stupider than the first time I tried to punch Victoria in the face.

But whatever.

My most basic defense mechanism, human or vampire, is denial. I refuse to acknowledge stupidity of the highest caliber, and so challenge it with stupid ranting and near hysteria.

"Actually, that's exactly what the Volturi want..." Laurent said slowly, eyeing me warily.

"What? What do they want?" I yelled, whirling on him in exasperation.

"World domination..."

...

There was a pause.

A long, drawn out pause.

A long, drawn out pause in which my eyes connected with Laurent's.

I then socked him square in the jaw and promptly walked away.


	28. Slap Them Out of It

"Bella!" Alice immediately reprimanded me as Laurent staggered and I headed towards the forest, glaring and growling warningly at the widened golden eyes staring at me.

Uh uh. I was too fed up at that point. My plan was pretty much, I'm walking the fuck home, just try and stop me.

Is anyone really surprised that that didn't really work out?

"Isabella Swan, where do you think you're going?" Alice cried, a hand wrapping around my wrist. She stayed me with her strength and I whirled on her.

I felt my stomach twitch in annoyance at the use of my full name like I was a petulant child, never mind the fact that technically, I was acting just like one.

"I don't know, okay! I didn't sign up for all this! I didn't sign up for crazy evil vampires and a plot for world domination! Okay? I really don't care about all this crap, alright! I just want to go home!" I shouted back.

"Well, you can't!" Alice yelled. "Whether you like it or not, you're stuck here! You can't go home because everyone thinks I've kidnapped you!"

"Haven't you?" I screamed, ripping my wrist from her grip.

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Alice flinched as if I'd slapped her and I felt a sharp reminder of the time when we had been in the bathroom, our first semi-break up, when I'd told her I needed my space. The look on her face then was relatively similar, except now her lips thinned out and her eyes flashed in angry hurt instead of insecure pain.

"Is that how you see this?" she breathed and I barely noticed how quiet everyone had gone as we squared off.

"Alice..." I muttered, haphazardly running a hand through my messy hair, vaguely noting how silky it felt against my sensitive vampire skin.

She didn't let me finish.

"Fine. Fine, I guess you're right. I did just kidnap you, didn't I? Forgive me, for trying to save your life. Forgive me for fucking everything up, again. Goddamn it, forget this. I give up," she threw her hands up, her voice catching ever so slightly as she brushed past me, eyes beginning to shine.

"Wait, where are you going? Alice!" I cried, disbelief in my eyes as she stomped off into the trees.

One of the vampires made to stop her but she snarled at him once and he backed off quickly.

I felt a wave of irritation hit me hard.

What the hell is her problem?

I mean, I knew things were bad and she was probably upset but what the HELL. You can't just up and walk off like that.

...Okay, sue me for being a hypocrite. I didn't care at that point.

"Damn it, Alice!" I yelled into the darkness, taking off after her.

"Bella, hold on a second!" I heard Edward call, but Laurent quieted him, telling the bronze haired boy to let us work it out.

I tore into the brush, feeling an angry rumble in my chest.

She really needed to get it together. This was ridiculous. I should have known she was more fragile than she'd let on, but to be so sensitive? Give me a break. She was not the only one having problems here!

I'm not even being selfish. I did not ask to be dragged into this mess. I did not sign up for Ms. Take Over The World Sulpicia's bullshit, nor anyone else's. Get off my clit. I was doing my best to deal with it, and she was all 'me, me, me.'

Don't get me wrong, I loved Alice to death, but I couldn't fathom what her deal was. This wasn't even the first time she'd be insensitive to my problems or what I was going through.

Girls, man.

These thoughts ran through my head as I smashed through the underbrush, snapping branches and tearing apart the leaves, following Alice's scent and the tiny path she'd left as she disappeared into the forest.

As I stumbled into a clearing, eyes narrowed and set to yell my lungs out at my pixie, I caught sight of her, crouched on the ground, hugging herself and dry sobbing.

"Alice, what the f-"

I cut myself off, my heart clenching.  
God.

Fuck.

Ing.

Damn.

It!

I can't even shout at her when I want to. Seriously, how was I supposed to yell at my crying girlfriend? I can't stand it when girl's cry. For some reason, it just hits my sympathy button so easily.

And when it's Alice, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth, lonely and broken on the forest floor...

My swelled up chest deflated with a rush of exhaled air as I frowned, biting my lip and bringing both my hands up to my head in frustration and confusion.

"Alice...?" I whispered and she didn't even look up, but I knew she knew I was there. "Alice, baby, what's wrong..."

You'd have done the same thing, so shut up. I rushed over to her, falling to my knees next to her.

"Oomph!" I grunted as she flung herself on me, throwing her arms around my neck as soon as she felt me near her.

Girls. Are such. A drag. I mean, come on. What a ridiculous mood swing.

I fell backwards onto my ass, wrapping my arms around her instinctively. My vampire side grumbled unhappily at Alice's unhappiness. I felt my chest rumble softly, protectively as I scooped her into my lap and she sobbed heavily into my neck, clutching me close.

"I'm s-s-sorry," she wailed into my shoulder and I felt her grip me tightly, her body heaving.

I didn't say anything. What could I say? Besides, she was still babbling in her watery voice, ebony eyes pressed against my skin.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered again and I felt the gentle scrape of her fangs across my flesh. I immediately recognized the tiny love bite as a further attempt to apologize. It was engrained into my instincts.

"Alice..." I mumbled, rubbing a hand up and down her back slowly, between her shoulder blades.

Angry as I might have been before, I just couldn't hang onto it, not when she was so vulnerable and upset. I had my nose buried in her hair as she continued to cry, clinging to my tiny shirt.

Speaking of clothing, she was still wearing Sulpicia's damned cloak and I wrinkled my nose at the bitch's scent. Still, Alice's own intoxicating aroma convinced me not to tear the cloak to pieces.

"I k-know I've been a horrible g-girlfriend and I'm so sorry, B-Bells, I'm so sorry...I n-never meant f-for all o-of this and I don't mean to blubber and w-whine and to h-hurt you like I d-do...All I ever wanted was for u-us to be together, for you to l-love me back, for us to be happy...But I can't stop screwing up and I'm sorry...I'm trying so hard b-but I can't fix anything, and I can't p-protect you...I nearly killed you...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Her voice trailed off into a broken whisper as I began to rock slowly back and forth, holding her to me. She was shaking so hard and my heart spasmed painfully for her.

Alice...Had...Messed up a lot. There was no denying that. But she wasn't the only one. And it's not like she meant for any of this; she'd said it herself. Nah, the only one to blame here was Sulpicia.

...Mm, the blast of fury that clenched inside my chest was hard to suppress. I couldn't stand that Alice was hurting, and I vowed to make Sulpicia pay.

I don't give a flying fuck what anyone says. Good intentions matter. Just because your actions matter, too, doesn't mean that your intentions are null and void. For instance, if I slapped someone with the intent of hitting a spider on their cheek, I'd feel no shame for my actions, even if it might have been better to calmly swipe it away.

But if I'd slapped them just for the hell of slapping them, then that was a different story.

Like, say, when I slapped the dog shit out of Rosalie.

Ahem.

Anyway.

What I'm getting at is that I had no doubt that everything Alice did, she did because she cared. She just didn't understand a lot of what to do correctly, and she certainly didn't understand how to ask for help. She never meant to hurt or ignore me. She was just trying to get by with me, to be with me but you can't deny, it seemed like the whole world was out to get us.

Slowly but surely, Alice began to calm down as I remained contemplatively silent. I held her close as her shaking turned to slight trembling that died down to little shivers as we sat there in the moonlight pouring down through the trees.

She finally stopped crying after a few minutes, her chest stopped heaving and her breathing evened out. I felt her slow, consistent heartbeat against my own, the soothing cadence of a sleeping pattern lulling me into a state of relaxation, even though the situation practically called for anything but that.

It seemed that there was nothing more calming in the world than just...Holding Alice...Just...Being with her.

"Do you...Remember the day we met?" Alice mumbled softly after awhile, still wrapped in my arms.

I didn't verbally reply, just nodded slowly.

"When we kissed...For the first time...I was so happy, Bella...For all my life, all I'd ever known was fear, and then vampiric emptiness...There was nothing...The night that I...That I changed you...Do you remember what Esme said, about how I was a shell before you came around?"

Another silent nod.

"It was true. I was lost, Bella. Don't think me a cliché, please, but that's how it was. I was lost without you. And the moment that we kissed, when you first confirmed that maybe I wasn't just nothing to you, I felt like everything was perfect. It was only a minute or two of making out, and I know I should have spoken to you instead of jumped on you, but it was so hard...You were and are my everything...I couldn't control myself...I just wanted to know you cared, that I mattered..."

I listened closely, gently scratching my nails down her back to let her know I was paying attention. I just let her speak; somehow, I knew she needed to get this out, off her chest, to let go. There was nothing I could or needed to say.

"I know it's so selfish, but from that moment on, I was always desperate to know that it wouldn't change, that you wouldn't stop liking me...And the day you told me you loved me...I don't think you realize how amazing that made me feel. I never mattered that much to anyone, not like that. Everything that I've done is because I'm terrified of losing you...I can't see everything, even if I see a lot...It seems like every decision I make is wrong¸ when all I'm trying to do is keep you safe and make sure you know I love you to death and back again..."

Her heartbeat gently rebounded off of mine as she leaned on me, one hand lazily playing with the hair on the back of my neck.

Her words, I had guessed as much.

"And please...I just need you to forgive me...I know I sound like I'm obsessed with myself and I know it's so horribly melodramatic for me to break down and cry like this...I know I sound insensitive but I'm not...I know you're having it hard and I know it's my fault; even if there's no use dwelling on it, I do...I try to pretend like you don't know I'm pretty much the only reason you're here, because it scares me so much that you'll finally give me the blame I deserve and leave..."

That did it. I snorted.

"Leave? As in, leave you? Are you out of your mind, Brandon?" I glanced down at her and she gave me a look I couldn't read.

"No fricking way. Even if I wanted to, and I _don't _by the way, I couldn't. I'm stuck with you now, aren't I? You said it yourself. You're the only reason I'm here. You think I don't wonder about what life would be like if I never kissed you, never talked to you? I do. It would be fine. I'd have no problems. Everything would be easier, and I probably wouldn't have to deal with so much pain."

She swallowed and lowered her eyes as I spoke but I gave her a wry grin.

"Fact is, for some batshit insane reason, I don't care. Cause when I sit around and think about what life would be like without you, it sucks. It really does. I don't think _you_ get it, Alice. I love you. There _is_ no life without you. Everything you feel, I'll tell you right now, I feel it, too. Look, I can't lie, you've fucked up a lot. You've pissed me off a lot, and you have made me feel like crap before and yes, you deserve to feel badly for it..."

Her head steadily dipped lower and she began to pull away from me but I rolled my eyes and clung to her, pulling her right back.

"But what you don't deserve to feel badly for is making me feel _awesome_. You have said some of the sweetest things to me, and you have made me feel like I mean a hot damn to someone. There was nothing before you, either. And if there was ever anything before, it doesn't mean anything now, because you mean everything to me. I love you, you idiot."

She tilted her chin up as I repeated my very first love declaration for her. I smirked slightly, dipping my head to brush my nose against hers. My words sounded harsh, and they needed to be. She needed to know she'd hurt me and that I didn't appreciate it, but she also needed to know that I had forgiven her. I didn't hold anything against her, how could I?

And she also needed to know she wasn't the only one who felt bad for their mistakes.

Trust me, I'd made plenty of them myself. She wasn't the only one to royally screw up.

"Besides, you're not the only one who has made mistakes. I have, too, and you've always forgiven me. I've deliberately provoked your instincts before, and I know I've goofed up way too much with Rosalie. I left you hanging so many times when all you needed was me. You're not the only one who has messed. Up. I promise you. I know everything feels like it's going straight to hell because, well, it pretty much is and the odds are pretty much all against us, but the one thing I never took you for was a big, fat, crybaby. Any time something went wrong, you at least tried to do something about it instead of feeling sorry for yourself, even if everything did ended up not working out."

She frowned here as I grinned.

"Really. Don't look at me like that. At least you _tried_. After all we've been through, I never thought you'd be one to sit and mope and cry poor me. Everything about you so far has been attractive to me, Alice. Even your jealousy got me going. But that? No, sweetheart. The one thing you never ever did was self pity. Come on, Alice. I know you're above this. You know this doesn't fix anything and if you're waiting for me to feel sorry for you, it's not going to happen. If you're waiting for me to punish you for what you've already punished yourself for, then you can stop now, because that's not going to happen, either. I forgive you, Alice. I love you. I love you, I love you, _I love you_. It's not going to change, no matter what you do."

At first, her cheeks had pinkened in shame, but slowly, she began to smile back at me, shaking her head.

Yeah, she knew. She knew acting like this was stupid. It embarrassed her, I know it did.

"So do me a favor and get up and do something about this. Do me a favor and be the badass I knew before. Do me a favor and trust me. I've trusted you, even to this moment. I've forgiven you, you've forgiven me; the only thing left to do is forgive yourself. Otherwise, you're going to stay miserable."

As I finished my...Uh, speech, I guess you could call it, I fell back, taking her with me. She landed with her arms on either side of my head, her hands holding her up. Her tiny frame rested against mine and I smiled softly up at her.

Her ebony eyes searched mine, her expression unreadable. Slowly, she broke out in a grin. Hesitantly, she leaned down and brushed her heart shaped lips across mine.

I meant every word. Maybe I came off like a total uber bitch, but whatever, ya know? I loved her so much and there was no point in beating around the bush this far in our relationship.

Shit, we're _vampires_. Blunt should be our middle name.

Softly, her lips moved against mine. It was the first time in a long time that we had been able to kiss like that, to be able to kiss at all. It was sweet and gentle as I coaxed her to relax against me, like she used to.

We'd never really had time to just be against each other like this, to just be with each other. We'd had our moments and even if this one wasn't really practical, we took 'em where we could get 'em.

They were too precious to let slip by.

Alice broke the kiss was too soon in my opinion. I'd just begun to purr contentedly when she pulled back, eyes twinkling just like they used to.

The sight of that familiar gleam in her eye made my heart skip a beat and the dragons spread their wings in joy, fluttering happily in my stomach.

"Better?" I mumbled, lazily running my hands up her back, the corners of my lips quirked to match hers.

"Mmhm. Nothing like having your anomaly of a girlfriend kiss everything better," she smirked.

Ah, there's my girl.

"So, what now...?" I tilted my head slightly. She shrugged.

"Well, now I'm pissed."

"What for?"

"Because you called me a crybaby. And that pisses me off. A lot. Mostly because it was true, emphasis on _was _here. Now, I've got something to prove. I'm going to be better for you, Bella. I'm _not _a fuck up and I'm most certainly _not _a _crybaby_. Or fat, for that matter..." Here, she glared at me playfully. "Was it really necessary to add that particular adjective?"

I blushed a little.

"Ah...I suppose not. You know I don't think you're fat."

Alright, so now I was totally backpedaling.

"Really?" she said, sitting up on my lap and I nodded.

Suddenly I noticed the minxish feel to her smirk.

Yep. Alice was back. I knew that look on her face like the back of my hand.

"Well, why don't you prove it?" she purred, slipping back off of me. She pulled me up with her by the collar of my shirt as my eyes widened.

"W-what? Alice, _now_? Are you really thinking what I think you're thinking?"

I blushed crimson as her eyebrow arched.

"I'm really thinking what you think I'm thinking. I'm thinking we've only got so much time before we have to head back into the madness. I'm thinking that I love you and that I want to show you how much."

Alice finished her statement by promptly undoing Sulpicia's cloak. It slipped to the ground in a puddle of cloth and the beast inside me growled. The noise came out through my mouth as she smirked, grabbing onto my wrist and tugging gently. My palm came into contact with her womanhood and my eyes rolled back at the feel of her velvet folds, already becoming lubricated. I immediately felt my pheromones release at the feel of hers in the air.

Alice had essentially said to my vampire side, _Come and get it, Big Girl_.

As easily as I gained control of my human side, I lost it. My instincts came out with a vengeance, crying out for me to claim Alice, and claim her hard.

"Bella...You're not...Vamping out, are you?"

Alice's voice was low and sultry as she spoke into my ear and I growled again, louder.

"You know, you can't be so sweet to a girl and not follow through on it, Bells..."

I wouldn't say I was sweet, per se...

"I know now's not the best time, but it's the only time, isn't it? We don't have long, Bella...Just escape with me...Just for a little while...I love you...Take the time we have and _be _with _just _me for once...And then we'll go back and kick some ass and I'll do my damndest to make things right again...You and me, Bells..."

If I had still been human, I'd have melted into her arms, and my knees would have buckled. As it was, that dominant beast inside me returned, rumbling ferociously for some Alice as she kissed me slowly, sensually.

Before I realized what I was doing, I'd wrapped my arm around Alice's waist and she had jumped into me, wrapping her legs around my own waist. Our mouths connected and I wasted no time in plunging my tongue into her wet cavern. I snarled when she thrust her hips forward, forcing my fingers to plunge inside her warmth. She mewled and I nearly had a breakdown at the sound.

I couldn't...Stay steady. She felt so good against my vampire skin. All of my senses went into overdrive as she clung to my shoulders and I began to rapidly pump in and out of her slick muscle, unable to prevent the animalistic noises I was releasing. My fingers curled as her toes curled and she cried out sharply.

Fuck, I couldn't stay standing. I staggered and we slammed into a huge tree trunk. She growled into my mouth and I took it as a challenge. I held her closer, snarling dominantly and she whimpered submissively as I ground her into the rough bark. She was riding my knuckles hard and I groaned in pleasure.

Just touching Alice was amazing. Well, it was always amazing but it felt like all of nerves were on fire at her the touch of her naked skin. Now that I had some support, I began a spastic rhythm as I pulled away from her sweet heart shaped lips and began to kiss her, open mouthed on her sensitive neck.

Turns out, there really is no way to be gentle with vampire sex. Alice didn't seem to want it gentle either. As I slid my tongue up her skin, she keened and then sank her teeth into my shoulder. I yelped and then snarled again, viciously but so deliciously curving my fingers inside her.

It may have been a harder love bite than before, but it was still a love bite as I pushed her harder into the tree, hearing an ominous crack as she whimpered my name and drove me wild.

"Bella," she hissed into my ear before dragging her fangs along its sensitive shell, making me wince and grumble as I desperately tried to bring her to orgasm. I could feel my own sex clenching in sympathy.

Suddenly, without ample warning, the deceivingly strong looking tree broke. We both yelped as it snapped in two and we went stumbling forward with it.

With a shattering crash, it hit the floor, forced back by my vampire strength and I couldn't defy the laws of gravity, much as I tried to.

We didn't even stop. I landed on top of Alice, still pounding her as she cried for me not to stop. How could she even talk? I was out of my mind with want. Her hips surged in my grip as we remained on top of the felled tree, her sensitive back grinding unforgivably against it.

Alice seemed to like the pain, though. She remained pinned beneath my weight, writhing, clawing my back as we saturated the air in our scents and our pheromones, a heady concoction.

"Bella, oh, Bella, f-fuck, yes...I'm so close...Bella, I love you...Ss, so much..."

I felt her insides grip me tighter and whined harshly as my own followed suit.

Ah, hell, man. I'd almost forgotten about the peculiar thing that happened when either one of us climaxed by the other's hand.

"Love...Alice...Mine...Love..."

I couldn't talk. I tried to tell her, I really did. But I couldn't speak, so I just showed her with my actions instead. As she buried her face in my neck, crying out as her peak hit, I followed suit. My face buried into her own neck as we both came hard, her insides overheating around my fingers as my own relentlessly clenched against her thigh, which she had thrust between my legs when we'd fallen. I had gratefully been humping it, and even through my shorts, I could feel her silky skin and it made me so hot, so wet as I finished against her.

We lay in bliss, the weird orgasm thing prolonging it for a good sixty seconds before we fell back to earth together, giddy grins on our faces as we lay together, half assing our attempts to balance on the hard fallen tree trunk.

"So..." I panted into her throat, lapping affectionately at her skin. She let her head fall back to give me more access as we both began to purr. "That...Was vampire sex..."

"Mmhmm..." she murmured lazily, playing with my chocolate locks.

Thoughts?

I could dig it. Most definitely.

"By the way, you never did tell me what that orgasm thing was."

"Oh? That? It's just what happens at your mate's peak. Your mate's pheromones send neurotoxins into your brain and trigger euphoria and your sexual muscles, inducing a powerful climax."

I mm'd in acknowledgement.

That was pretty cool. Still, I felt a pang for Carlisle as I remembered he had been the one to tell Alice what it was. I remembered Esme, too. I knew we'd eventually have to get up and go out to rescue them, to beat Sulpicia, but right then...

I was just too content to be with Alice. I was too relaxed with her and wanted to remain in our bubble of peace for a little longer.

"Do you think that doing this was kind of inappropriate...?" Alice mumbled after a while of recovery and I shrugged.

"No...We obviously needed it...Besides...No one knows, anyway, right?"

Alice didn't respond and I glanced at her face. She squirmed and her cheeks tinted pink.

"Um...Yeah, about that...We actually aren't that far from everyone...They heard everything..." she muttered. "Emmett's going to make a pretty accurate joke about breaking trees when we go back..."

...

Fuck my life.


	29. Really Down On Your Luck

After a while of just basking in each other's presence, Alice gently nudged me.

"Hey, Bells...We have to get back..."

Cue my whining.

"Nooo," I whined, burying my face further into the cool crook of her neck. In an attempt to get my way, I wuffled soft Eskimo kisses up and down her throat and heard her purring quietly.

I was so comfortable right where I was, and I loved cuddling my girl. I had no interest in going back to the madness.

"Yeees," Alice mocked me and I huffed, glancing up at her. She was grinning and I can't lie; I had missed that twinkle in her eyes.

I had missed it so much in fact that it encouraged me to try and keep it there, so I did what she wanted with no more reluctance. I lifted off of her body and saw her wince slightly as she sat up, too.

"Jesus, Bells. I can't believe you broke the tree," she shook her head, rubbing at her back as she glanced over her shoulder and down on the smashed trunk.

My apologies, nature.

Actually, I take that back.

It was nature's fault we were doing it in the first place. I blame my instincts.

"I didn't hear any complaints in the process," I parried and she gave me a little smirk.

"True enough. It's times like these I'm glad vampires don't get sore," Alice shrugged and I frowned.

Okay...Rough sex may have been fun, but I didn't want to hurt her...Too much...

"Are you alright?" I inquired anxiously as we both stood up and she rolled her eyes.

"It's gonna take a lot more than that to hurt me, Bella. I like it rough," she smiled at me, winking as she stretched her muscles and gave me a great view of her beautiful body. I shivered slightly and hushed the purr beginning in my throat.

Alright, so being a vampire did not cancel out human hormones. It, in fact, made them worse. I'm way too excitable.

"Ugh," Alice groaned as she stepped around me and I turned, tilting my head slightly.

"What is it?"

"I really, _really _don't want to wear that cloak," Alice scowled, nudging the fallen bitch stained garment with her foot as she looked down on it distastefully.

Without a word, I began to shrug out of my clothes and Alice's eyes widened.

"What are you doing? Bella, don't even. Since when are you the man in this relationship?" Alice laughed slightly, tugging the tiny shirt back down over my head and I grumbled.

"I'll go naked. I don't give a fuck," I narrowed my eyes and Alice narrowed hers.

And the stare off began.

I probably wouldn't have been too willing to give up my clothing and go in my birthday suit if I didn't hate the idea of Alice going nude in front of plenty of eyes. No way.

Ah, but some things never change. She ended up out staring me as I averted my eyes and she smirked again.

"It's whatever. I'm sure the coven will have extra clothing. Actually, my visions confirm it," Alice shrugged, scooping the cloak up and reluctantly slipping it on.

After she was decent...Scratch that, after she was clothed and gorgeous as ever, she lifted her head and her eyes met mine. Hers were a deep, glossy amber and her hair hung down in her eyes, more so than usual. But as she looked upon mine, her breath hitched slightly.

Alice's hand came up to my cheek and I leaned into her palm as she thumbed my skin slowly.

"Your eyes are red..." she whispered and I tensed but she leaned up and kisses my lips lightly.

Would it...Bother her? The color of my eyes? I knew they had to be a thick ruby red, the color of blood, of a life taken away...

"But strangely, it doesn't bother me anymore..."

Anymore? So it had bothered her...

"You're still you. You're taller, you're stronger, you're faster, you're different...I think if there was one thing I'll miss about you, it will be your eyes...Like milk chocolate...Sweet..."

I don't know why she's telling me this. She has to know it hurts that I've changed and she doesn't like part of it.

"But you are still Bella, my Bella..."

My chest rumbled at her possessive use of my name.

"It doesn't matter what color your eyes are, because I still see you inside them...They don't look bloody red...They look molten maroon...Like red and brown..."

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned into me. I melted into the embrace.

No, some things always stay the same. Even as a vampire, Alice still makes my heartbeat stumble and she still makes me feel high when she speaks. Her scent intoxicates me as I hold her close, just hugging her, feeling the slow, steady thump of her heartbeat rebounding off of mine.

"You ready?" I breathed into the top of her head, gently scraping my nails over her scalp and I felt her nod.

"As I'll ever be..."

As we broke apart, I felt a wave of vertigo strike me solidly in the skull and I was practically on my knees, gasping. I felt Alice's hands wrapped around my biceps, supporting me as my world spun.

The _fuck_?

My world blurred before me and the scenery changed. I no longer saw Alice, or the trees. I couldn't focus for a moment, and when my eyes stopped whirling in their sockets, I stiffened as my world resolidified.

_Bright red orbs scanned the house before them, taking it in, the scars in the old bricks. The owner of those ruby red eyes had no vision impairment from the night surrounding them. There was a car in the driveway and a light on in the living room window._

_A halo of white blond hair floated over slim shoulders as the woman moved forward, purpose in her eyes, undeniable murderous, malicious purpose in her eyes._

_Rosalie Lillian Hale, blank faced but determined looking walked right up to the door of my mother's house and rang the doorbell._

_Moments later, Renee opened it._

_In an instant, she was on her knees, Rosalie's fangs buried deep in her throat._

As the vision ended, I gasped sharply, feeling as if I was resurfacing from the depths of the ocean. My eyes fluttered and I realized I was slumped against Alice, chest heaving.

"What the fuck!" I cried, pushing off of her, a hand going to my mouth as the vision replayed itself in my mind, a horrendous rewind that I couldn't stop. Images of my Mommy sinking to the floor, Rosalie tearing into her neck relentlessly assaulted my brain and I cringed, feeling like I was going to be sick.

"Did you really just see that?" Alice breathed, looking shaken and slightly confused.

"I-Well, yeah! Was that a _vision_?" I demanded, an ominous anxious fear beginning to gnaw at my insides.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Rosalie was going after my Mom? What? I didn't...

Aw, hell.

Sulpicia's powers...Mind control...Rosalie may have not had a choice in the matter.

I was freaking out as Alice ran a hand through her hair and began to pace.

"I don't understand...How did you see that? And what...Why would she..."

I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was trembling. I could feel panic tightening my stomach and an angry frustration made my fangs dip.

"Alice! Tell me what that was!" I yelled, my hands beginning to shake as she continued to just pace back and forth, muttering to herself.

At the sound of my voice, her head tilted up and her eyes widened slightly.

"Bella..." she murmured, stepping towards me to put her hands on my shoulders as I shook, jaw quivering. I could feel the growl rumbling in my throat. "Bells, look at me...Relax, it's okay..."

My instincts rebelled at the idea of being calm. My mother was in danger, and all I wanted was to make sure she was okay. But as Alice coaxed me, softly whispering reassurances, I regained control, slowly but surely.

"Look...I can't be sure...But I think that might have been part of your powers..." Alice said after a moment, when she was sure I wouldn't freak out again.

Powers? Oh, yeah. Seriously, I can't believe I forgot about that.

Somehow, I was able to repel and use Jane's power against her. Now, I was sharing Alice's?

Well...Hot damn. Looks like I do get some cool ass abilities after all.

However, it did little to assuage my fear. I loved my mother to death and the idea that Rosalie was going to, possibly already had killed her?

It made my stomach flip flop and my heart skip uncomfortably.

"Somehow, you're able to use the powers of another...Whatever, that's not important right now..." Alice muttered, almost to herself.

"We need to get back...We have to go back to the others," Alice said and I immediately shook my head.

"No. Screw that! My mom's in danger, Alice! Rosalie might kill her! She might have killed her already!" I refused, beseeching her with my eyes but Alice, ever the levelheaded girl didn't back down, despite my consistent panic.

"Bella, that may not have been the truth. Our eyes aren't always right, remember? Sulpicia might just be messing with us. This might just be a trap to get to us."

"And it might not be! I'm not taking that chance!" I shouted back, balling my fists up.

Be damned the discovery of my peculiar powers. Just as we'd got our footing in this hellish madness, we were jarred once more.

My mother was at stake here. I'm a Mommy's girl through and through. I had no intentions of calling Sulpicia's bluff only to find out I had misread her poker face and then Renee went bye-bye because of it.

"Bella, be practical here!" Alice cried.

"PRACTICAL? We're vampires! NONE of this is PRACTICAL!" I screeched.

I am fully aware, thank you, of how hysterical I sounded. So, apparently, was Alice.

"Isabella, would you listen to me for a moment!" Alice threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Alice, please! She's my Mommy and I don't want to lose her like you lost yours!" I screamed.  
As soon as I said it, I regretted it. My eyes widened and my hand clapped to my mouth as Alice blanched sharply.

"...I'm sorry...I d-didn't mean...Alice..."

She looked away, eyes closing, lips tightening. I saw her swallow, watched her throat bob slightly.

Damn it, man...I felt like a total bag of douche after that.

But I couldn't help it. Finally, the fight had come back to home.

My family was now in this, at risk. I had never cared (much) for my own safety, mostly just Alice's and the Cullens. There are precious few ways to piss me off, to frighten me.

Going after my family is one of them.

But I had just stepped over a very thin line, and by Alice's saving grace, she didn't take it to heart. Thank whatever deity there may be that she was amazing enough to relatively blow off my heartless, insensitive comment.

"Look...I know you're upset right now," Alice said through gritted teeth. "But rushing in blindly won't fix anything. Sulpicia is getting just the reaction she wants from you right now. I'm sure she's behind this; it's got her stink all over it. So just chill the hell out and let me think of what we need to do," she snapped and I expected, deserved the venomous sting to her words.

I grimaced and tongued the tips of my fangs unhappily, whimpering in the back of my throat.

Renee...Mommy...

I felt fear, uncertainty clenching in my stomach as Alice ran both hands through her messy black locks, beginning to pace again, refusing to look at me.

Sulpicia had now crossed the last line for me. This was the final straw, the one that broke my fucking back.

The fact that she even hinted like she was going to do something to my family, to my mother had me furious in moments and I flexed my fingers wildly, aching to wrap them around Sulpicia's neck.

Yeah, she'd got to me. It was _on_ now.

"Okay...Bella, listen to me..." Alice said after a minute of tense silence. She turned to me, face calm, the complete opposite of mine. "We have to go back. We need to get a game plan with the others. We can't do this on our own. She's gonna be okay, Bella. Sulpicia just doesn't work like that. There's always more to her crap than just what you see on the surface. She's playing mind games with us," Alice walked forward, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder as I continued to look anxious, murderous, almost hysterical.

"But..."

I bit my lip, fiddling with my thumbs uncertainly. The vampire in me raged for action, for immediate reaction. I could feel the protective swell multiply tenfold due to my instincts and I whined harshly, parting my lips at Alice, who softened immensely.

"Shh...It's going to be okay, Bells...I promise..." she whispered. "I _pinky _promise..."

She offered her smallest finger, a gentle, encouraging smile gracing her face and I hesitated before hooking mine around it.

"Let's hurry, though..." I mumbled and she nodded.

"Agreed. We need to move quickly, quicker than Sulpicia. And that, darling, will be a difficult feat to achieve..."

"I have faith in us. We've come this far, right?"

Okay, so maybe I spazzed out at first, but now I could feel Alice's steady, contagious determination. And I'm not going to lie, the familiar motion, the pinky promise that made me feel nostalgic, was a soothing motion.

Alice nodded and I allowed myself a tiny grin.

"Let's go."

* * *

I am a vampire and by God, where is the grace that's supposed to come with it?

As Alice and I raced through the forest, headed back to the clearing, I hooked my ankle on a tree root and _fuck _this shit!

_Seriously_. Only I could be in the middle of an epic intense run and just flat out face plant it into the clearing.

I hurtled through the trees, yelping as I spun end over end and smashed into the hard, unforgiving earth, my eyes whirling in my skull.

The next thing I heard was hysterical male laughter.

"Emmett, you rat bastard," I muttered as I tried to sort myself out and gather my bearings.

"Hahahaha! You should have seen your face! Oh. My. God! That's even better than tree breaking sex! Hahaha!"

I rolled my eyes as I pushed myself up on my hands, shaking my head. I glanced around, seeing where I had crash landed like a dumbass at.

"Like fuck, man. I thought that crap was supposed to stop when I changed," I whined, my head aching as I spotted the clearing we'd fled from earlier and noticed the vampires sitting all around, golden eyes looking at me. I could see Laurent sitting Indian style at the mouth of the cave, a tiny quirk to the corners of his lips.

Yeah, I see you grinning it up, you jerk. I am fully aware of how stupid that looked.

"Emmett, shut up," I heard Alice say in a shaky voice...Is that laughter I hear in that voice?

Not cool.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw her stepping out of the gigantic hole I'd made in the thick vegetation, her eyes sparkling and a hand over her mouth to stop the giggles bubbling in her throat.

Sigh.

I still make myself look like a jackass in front of pretty girls. Story of my life.

"Bells, are you okay?" Alice called, jogging over to me as I rolled onto my back.

Oh, yeah. On moment of impact, I belly flopped it.

Awesome.

Damn.

It.

"Peachy," I muttered. "Emmett, if you don't shut the hell up I'm going to break your balls!" I yelled after a second as I saw him bent double, cradling his stomach as he laughed and laughed and laughed.

What an epic jackass.

He glanced at me, opened his mouth as if to say something and then started laughing again.

I could see Edward desperately trying to keep a straight face, but Jasper was chortling heartily.

"Yeah, glad you guys are enjoying this. Hey, I'll be here all week," I rolled my eyes, sitting up and rubbing the back of my head as I glared at my unsympathetic girlfriend.

Alice abruptly cut off the giggle fit, putting on an unconvincing worrisome expression that promptly broke when I scowled.

She grinned.

"I'm sorry, Bells, you're just too cute when you pout," she chuckled and though I tried to remain angry with her, when she leaned in and peppered my right ear and neck with kisses, I could do nothing but purr unwillingly.

"W-whatever," I mumbled as she helped me stand, wrapping an arm around my waist as I rubbed my injured abdomen and tried to pull a Medusa on Emmett. I glared at him and tried to turn him to stone, but it didn't work.

The fucker kept snickering. I bet it's the hair snakes that do it. Man.

"I'm glad to see you two have returned and in much better spirits, I hope," Laurent said hesitantly as he approached us, hands clasped in front of his chest.

"Not quite," Alice said slowly, the smile leaving her face.

The smile caused by my idiotic entrance.

Fuck my life.

Laurent paused in his approach and I scowled as I noticed the snickering vampires in the trees and around the clearing. The Cullens were standing off to the side with a group of them. As I glanced over at them (glaring at Emmett who continued to snigger behind his hand) I noticed a girl, staring at me.

Or rather, my chest and abdomen.

Her molten golden eyes roamed over my...Okay, I totally have abs now. I just noticed that...

Which is too freaking cool, by the way.

She seemed to agree, with her long blond hair that curled towards the ends and slender body, one hand on her hip as she continued to...Appreciate me.

Bewildered, slightly flattered and weirded out by her unrelenting gaze, our eyes met.

She winked.

Woooahkay.

I may not be the most observant of people, but I can tell when people are giving me the fuck me eye.

Seriously, chick. Was now really the time?

My brow furrowed and I turned away quickly, shaking my head. Whatever. Don't have time to dwell on the girl.

"So you see, we have a problem."

Probably shouldn't have been tuning Alice out, but ya know, that's just how I do.

"Wait a minute," I heard Edward say as I struggled to my feet, brushing myself off and resituating Alice's ridiculously tiny shirt so it covered most of my stomach, blocking the weird chick's view, which seemed to disappoint her as I glanced at her.

Yeah, show's over, babe.

"You had a vision of Rosalie killing Bella's Mom?" He inquired and I winced at the reminder of what was going on.

"That's what I said, Eddie," Alice nodded her head, standing with me.

"Wow. That's...Messed up," Emmett said, now completely sobered.

At least he'd stopped laughing now that he realized the seriousness of the situation.

"No shit, Sherlock," I rolled my eyes at him and he snorted, flipping me the bird, which I returned in kind before we both grinned playfully.

"This is quite interesting...But how are we to know whether or not it's a trick?" Laurent commented slowly, looking around as if to ask any vampire in the clearing their opinion.  
"We don't. All we have is half assed guesses and presumptions. Sulpicia isn't stupid; she knows there's no way for us to be sure, which is probably why she did the ploy in the first place," the girl who had been undressing me with her eyes put in after a moment, picking at her nails, not even looking up as she spoke.

Well.

That's not pessimistic at all.

When no one replied, she glanced up.

"Jesus, don't look at me like that. It's the truth," she scoffed, blowing on her nails as she filed them against her marble skin.

"And who are you?" Alice snorted, crossing her arms, eyes narrowing.

Whoa now.

Attitude.

Yep, I know that look and I know that vibe. When I was human, it was one I often got when both Angela and Jessica were on their periods, or when two girls who were about to have a cat fight were being jealous over the same guy.

And that instinct that rose in me was both human and vampire.

It said either leave or don't interfere.

I know how girls get and I certainly wasn't about to get caught in the crossfire. I could see the Cullen boys having similar reactions.

Tanya put her other hand on her other hip, responding to Alice's attitude with one of her own, eyebrow arching as she sized my pixie up. Apparently, she was not impressed.

"Name's Tanya. And you? I assume you're Bella's mate, but you look a little too short for her."

Oh, snap.

I saw Alice's eyes narrow almost imperceptibly, a tiny, malicious smirk coming to her face.

"Alice, charmed to meet you. No, she quite likes my height. She's always had problems with slutty tall blondes...In fact, you look a lot like this one girl-"

"O-kay! How would you all like to see what we retrieved for you?" Laurent swiftly interrupted as Tanya's sneer dropped and became a vicious scowl. I even saw a hint of fang, which made my eyes narrow.

I don't know what her deal is but she better not step to Alice, or else we'd have a problem.

There was a unanimous grumble as Alice smirked her trade mark smirk, turning on her heel to follow the dark chocolate man. She walked practically glued against my side, one hand sliding down into my back pocket.

I jumped, startled as she stared a glowering Tanya down, all the way to the mouth of the gloomy, curious cave.

My nose twitched as I scented pheromones coming from Alice and I had to fight off a groan as my sex clenched pleasurably. Alice was pumping out straight up possessive pheromones and I whimpered at her several times until she stopped.

I nearly jumped her on the spot and she lifted her hand to put it on my hip instead of against my ass.

It sure got Tanya huffy as she growled once, turning away from us.

As we reached the mouth of the cave, Laurent paused.

"Victoria, if you will," he called.

I winced as we were suddenly blinded by lights and I hissed nervously. Alice's hand went to her eyes as she attempted to shield her retinas from the light pouring from the cave. I heard the soft, familiar purr of a Mercedes engine and in an instant Alice was away from me, whooping with delight.

"That is fucking awesome!" I heard her cry as we all backed away and her yellow Mercedes came cruising out of the cave and into the clearing.

I grinned slightly. Alice could act ancient and she could act just like me; like an excited teenager.

"We found it discarded at the main gate to Volterra, figured we'd take it, just in case," Laurent shrugged, smiling slightly as Alice gushed over her car, running her hand over the yellow metal.

"In case of what?" Jasper asked.

"You can never be too careful," Laurent replied.

The car switched off as Victoria emerged from within it, dressed in a tight black sweater and a pair of jeans.

The Cullens and I all immediately stiffened, at which she rolled her eyes.

"Still with this nonsense?" she sighed, running a hand through her hair as Alice backed up a few steps, looking positively infuriated that the redhead had driven her precious car, let alone sat in it.

"Victoria..." Laurent murmured, clearly eager to keep the peace between all of us.

"No, it's whatever," the redhead shrugged, meeting our glares with indifference.

Alright, alright...So maybe we didn't have as much of a right as we did before to be mad at her, but still...We couldn't trust her.

"So what's this I hear about my mate going to kill Bella's mother?" she inquired slowly and I felt my heart wrench painfully.

I had almost forgotten in the excitement...My stomach dropped.

"Guys...We have to do something and soon...I can't just sit here not knowing..." I said after an awkward moment of silence.

"Yeah, but what can we do? If it's a trap, and someone goes, they're done for," Jasper put in and I bit my lip.

Did he think I didn't know that? I really didn't give a shit at that point. It had been at least twenty minutes since that terrifying vision had struck both Alice and I.

"Something has to be done, though," Edward said. "We can't just sit around and wait to see what happens. If it's true, someone has to stop Rose."

I suddenly let loose a snarl of frustration, running a hand through my hair.

"I can't...I have to go see...I have to check," I shook my head as Alice shook hers.

"No, Bella...If we go, then the odds are-"

"I know the odds, Alice. I don't care. The odds are always against us, right? But I can't stand not knowing what's happening to her, to my mother."

"But..."

"Please...Just try to understand...I have to save her, Alice," I pleaded and she sighed, biting her lip.

"I do..." she murmured softly and I knew every Cullen in that clearing was thinking of Esme, and how they would have done anything to save their adoptive mother.

For a long moment, no one said anything.

The silence was interrupted by Victoria.

"Well, that settles it then. We're going to Phoenix," Victoria shrugged, popping her neck experimentally.

"We?" Alice snorted, scowling over at the redhead. "What makes you think you're going? If anything, it's just me and Bella. Three people isn't exactly discreet, and who the hell invited you along anyway?"

"One: Rosalie's my mate. Even if I don't technically go with you, I'm still going after her. Two: You're under the assumption that I give a damn what you say about my involvement. This is my fight as much as it is yours," Victoria snapped back and Alice growled, low in her chest.

"Bull! What about all the times you've-"

"Attacked you?" Victoria interrupted. "I know, okay! I get it! I hurt you and I'm sorry, Alice! What else can I say to you? I had no choice!"

"That's a lie! You always have a choice-"

"If anything's bullshit, that's it-"

"Don't even-"

"Stop playing victim-"

"It's not a play if it's the truth you-"

"I've got the scars to prove the hell I've been through-"

"-Doesn't even matter, you're just a lying-"

"You don't even-"

"ENOUGH!" Laurent cried, standing between the two seething women. "We are all allies here! Keep the past in the past! The more time you spend hating each other, the less time you all have to save Bella's mother!"

Very good point, Laurent. Their voices had reached that stage where it was just a matter of whoever yells louder wins the argument.

"...I don't hate her," Victoria snipped, lip twitching.

Alice snorted, fists balled at her sides. Her chest was heaving.

"I'm sorry. I. Am. SORRY," Victoria said very slowly and deliberately, red gold eyes locked on Alice's. I could hear the sincerity in her voice and for the first time, I felt she actually meant it.

There was a long, drawn out pause as everyone in the clearing held their breath.

Alice's face was tight and locked. Suddenly, her right leg shot out and smashed against Victoria's thigh with a resounding crack.

The redhead snarled in pain, crumpling down on one knee as she cradled the assaulted limb and Laurent made to interfere.

"If you're going, then get in the goddamn car," Alice snapped, averting her eyes, crossing her arms.

...

It was as much of an acceptance of the apology that Victoria was going to get.

The redhead seemed to realize this, too, as she smirked slightly, massaging her thigh, slowly standing. She opened the back door and got in, closing it with a soft click.

Well...Shit, I guess we had a game plan. We were on a mission to save my mom, and nothing was going to stop us.

Alice and I looked around at the Cullens.

They didn't protest, didn't offer to come. We needed secrecy. We needed to be able to leave this hellish place undiscovered, and carrying six people just wouldn't cut it, especially in Alice's car.

They understood. I knew they wanted to come; I could see it in their eyes.

Still, that didn't stop the group hug that overwhelmed all of us as we blurred forward and mutually embraced. I now considered them part of the coven, of my family, people to trust and protect so I didn't feel a desire to break their arms off when Alice was received in the hug.

"Good luck, you two," Edward murmured, kissing the top of Alice's head in the way only big brother's do. Jasper did as well. Emmett gave us both noogies, which inevitably broke the hug as we laughed and shoved him off.

"You two better whip ass," he smiled and we nodded.

"What are you guys going to do while we're gone?" Alice asked curiously as we jogged back to her car.

"Battle plans, of course," Laurent said. "We're going to figure out a way to get your parents back, and to stop the Volturi once and for all."

I nodded, expecting as much.

Hopefully, while we were gone, they'd figure out a way to get Carlisle and Esme back.

Or rather, hopefully we weren't walking straight to our doom.

Couldn't rule that one out.

I got in on the passenger side and Alice jumped in on the driver's side. She hit the ignition and we both gave her brother's one last salute for good luck before Laurent motioned to the path off to our right, telling us to follow it to the end to get to the highway.

"Alice, babe?" I said softly, rubbing my aching stomach nervously.

"Yes, Bells?"

"Floor it."

She did. We peeled out of the clearing, throwing dust up as Victoria sat quietly in the back.

We drove in silence all the way to the end of the road.

It was about that time when the werewolves attacked.


	30. Glamourous

The first werewolf smashed into my side of the car and I felt the metal crush into my ribcage, felt the waves of fiery pain lance up my side.

Alice cried out and the car swerved violently as the hulking beast sent it spinning. I snarled in rage and pain as the sharp metal screeched across my skin and a furry arm smashed the glass of my window.

A bloodcurdling roar made my heartbeat skip as Alice struggled to keep us on the road. I could barely see as I struggled to draw breath. There was a bang as another gigantic monster smashed onto the hood of the car and suddenly the back end of Alice's Mercedes was up in the air before it crashed back down, jarring my whole body and making my brain rattle in my skull.

"You wanna go motherfuckers? Let's go!" Alice yelled and she hit the brakes, sending the salivating, growling wolf on the hood of her car flying backwards.

Me?

Oh, well. I was busy wrestling the waving werewolf arm trying to claw my face off.

The beast was trying to work its head in my window, which was not happening for several reasons.

One.

It was just too big.

Two.

I was busily trying to snap its arm off.

Give me credit, because I was half succeeding. As I shoved my elbow into its forearm and struggled not to inhale its sickening scent, it yelped and yanked back. I followed through by socking it sharply in the nose, snarling a challenge as Alice slammed the gas. The wolf fell back and disappeared, thankfully.

"What the fuck!" she shouted, glancing over her shoulder as I braced my palm against the metal digging into my side and shoved it back out, undenting it as I cradled my aching ribs, eyes watering.

If I had been human, I'd have been dead in seconds.

As it was...

I just sat in agony, turning to look over my shoulder. My heart was in my throat as I saw four more wolves pounding after us, running ridiculously fast on all fours.

Um...Where the hell was Victoria?

My eyes widened as I heard a loud thud and a crack on the top of Alice's car.

"Here, puppy. _SIT_!"

It was unmistakably Victoria's voice, followed by a high pitched yelping. Alice and I glanced at each other, then up at the roof again.

"The fuck?" Alice muttered, eyes cast upwards.

Seconds later, a werewolf went flying in front of us, bloody and battered. It crashed to the ground and rolled off of the side of the road, narrowly being missed by the car as Alice swerved wildly to avoid it.

Victoria then slipped back in through the back window to crouch on the backseat, a long gash on the side of her temple as we sped down the highway.

Seriously.

What the fuck.

She looked at mine and Alice's bewildered faces and then smirked.

"Thought I'd have some fun for once," she shrugged, turning to look through the back window at the terrifying monsters still chasing us.

"So...Any ideas?" Victoria arched an eyebrow at me as I continued to cradle my aching ribs.

"Yeah. Drive faster," I panted to Alice, wrinkling my nose.

God, they smelled awful. Their stench nearly had me gagging.

"Will do," she said, voice shaky. The front window was cracked and the hood of her car was dented badly. I might as well have not had a door.

Suddenly, one of the wolves behind us put on a burst of speed and caught up to us, making me wince.

Give me a freaking break. Where the hell was Laurent and the protection we'd been promised?

The wolf ran beside my window, snarling viciously as Alice glanced at it, biting her lip.

"Watch out, Bella!" she called.

I felt like I'd been taken out of real life and dropped right into a Van Helsing movie as Alice hit the brakes and spun the wheel hard, turning us in a violent 360.

The back end of the car slammed into the wolf and a high pitched yelping ensued as he went flying off the side of the road, flipping tail over head before crash landing a long way away.

Feeling upside down and suffering from a severe case of where-the-fuck-am-I as I tried to convince my heart to stop trying to break free of my chest, Alice straightened us back out as the wolves continued to pursue us, leaving their comrade behind.

We had to be going at least a hundred and twenty down that highway and I glanced back at Victoria who was muttering something about warning her before doing something like that next time.

"What the hell are we going to do? We can't outrun them!" I cried, shaking in my seat.

There was the sound of screaming metal as one of the wolves caught up again and dug its claws into my side of the car.

Shocker.

With the Mercedes rocking under its weight and slowing us down at least by at least twenty, it yanked itself up to my window and I saw its face -its horrible snarling face- appear.

I nearly pissed myself. It's a good thing vampires have no need to relieve themselves.

I was a sitting duck and everyone there knew it. I heard Victoria swear and Alice cry out for me as the wolf shoved a humongous clawed paw inside.

"Shit," I managed to mutter, my eyes widening, somehow locking on the beast's.

A flash of mahogany brown and my brain froze before vaulting forward, vampiricly enhanced, enriching the memory of those eyes tenfold.

"Jake...?"

The wolf's paw hesitated for a split second before it smashed into my shoulder...

And not my neck.

I cried out in agony as its claws tore through my skin, scraping the soft grey flesh beneath it.

Then the werewolf was positively dusted, cracked back by a vicious kick from Alice who had turned in her seat to face the monster.

It yelped and rocked back but didn't let go. Another thrust of Alice's foot and it went sailing away, falling down into the ditch on the side of the road.

My eyes were clenched shut as I gasped and let out a dry sob, cradling my burning shoulder.

Put it this way. When Alice had crashed into me and broken nearly every bone in my body, it had hurt for a second, but then I passed out.

I didn't pass out this time.

The worst injury I'd ever had before all this nonsense started was a sprained wrist. I had thought that hurt, but this...

This was ridiculous.

"Fuck! FUCK!" I screamed obscenities.

"They've stopped chasing us," Victoria called from the back, but I didn't even care at that moment.

My fangs dipped out and I snarled weakly, feeling as if the wolf had ripped my arm completely off. When I hesitantly looked at my shoulder, I wished I hadn't.

There were four long gashes going down my white marble armor and the soft gray skin beneath it was cut slightly. The exposed flesh seemed to hurt more than anything, searing in the air.

"GOD!" I yelled, one foot braced against the dashboard.

"Bella," Alice breathed, swallowing hard. "Baby, calm down! Look at me, look! It's healing already! Just relax!"

Hell to the nizzo!

My head was slammed back against my seat even as I felt the soft tingle of my skin beginning to reseal.

"It's dislocated," I heard Victoria murmur and then the redhead was next to me.

Before I even had time to blink, she had put one hand on my aching shoulder and the other behind it, on my back beneath it. She then promptly shoved forward and back with each hand, respectively.

There was a solid double crack, the sound of Victoria relocating my shoulder and the sound of my knuckles socking her in the jaw.

...Ow.

I tried to be sick and I tried to pass out, but I couldn't. For a long time, there was nothing but silence as I buried my head between my knees and Alice slowly rubbed my back, crooning to me as my shoulder began to heal itself.

Of all the stupid shit, I hated this the most.

It couldn't get any worse, right?

...It began to rain, the water droplets splattering me in the face as they came through my shattered doorway. I felt my eyes glossed with tears I couldn't spill as Alice caressed my back, whispering reassurances.

Really, Life? Not cool. Just...Yeah, fuck you. I'm not playing games with you anymore, Life.

I kept my head between my knees and we all remained silent as Alice drove on, foot still to the metal, headed to what was sure to be an even greater hell than this one.

I didn't have any goofy comments, any sarcastic remarks, not even reluctant acceptance that I must have done something to deserve the shit I just went through, nah...

I was just fed up at that point. My shoulder ached and ached and every pattering raindrop that slapped me in the face made my fangs twitch with irritation.

Honestly, the only things keeping me from getting out of that car and going back to fight to the death with those wolves was Alice in my ear, and the thought of Sulpicia with her dirty black fingernails all over my mother.

Aye, but I can't lie, I was ready to give that bitch what for. There was no way I was going out till I got my revenge.

In my anxiety, I completely forgot about the werewolf that had spared my life and his brown, brown eyes...

-

We rattled and clunked and dragged ourselves all the way to a forest near the airport in that wrecked Mercedes. We barely made it when the engine spluttered and gave out. We rocked to a stop and all was silent. It was kind of eerie after the constant noise of Alice's car slowly dying.

I thought Alice was going to cry. Her eyes were shining as she sighed and patted the dashboard.

"My car," she whimpered and I scowled.

The car gets a beating and she practically starts sobbing. I get a beating and she shrugs it off.

Thanks, babe.

"It was a good run, Sophie," she muttered and I rolled my eyes.

"You named your car?" I scoffed, turning in my seat weakly. My newborn abilities had kick started the painful healing process, so I was just a little sore after the three hour drive, and the scars on my iron skin were slowly disappearing. 

"Of course," Alice replied, glancing at me as she rested back in her seat. "I love this car. I've had it forever..."

"It's a damn car, get over it. I think we have bigger problems," I snapped, cradling my side as I turned away.

Okay, sue me for being a bit temperamental with her. I'd been severely beaten, battered and bruised, not to mention my mother might be Rosalie's dinner. And let's not forget the fact that Ms. Hale has risen from the not so dead.

Fuck my life. Really. Just fuck it.

Alice gave me a hurt look and I bit my lip.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. Can we just hurry up? Why are we at this forest anyway?" I inquired, feeling ashamed for treating her like that. It wasn't her fault. None of this was. Technically, most, if not all, of this was my fault.

But everyone knows it's always easier to take it out on your loved ones than to accept proper blame, especially when your arm almost gets ripped off.

My poor Alice…

"You need to feed before we walk into an airport full of humans. Actually, we all need to feed. We need our strength. We also need a serious change of clothes," Alice said, stepping out of the car and shutting it gently.

Victoria and I followed. We were standing in front of a mass of trees off the side of the highway, about ten miles from the airport. Across the highway, there was a large field that ended at the other end of the wrap-around forest.

"Victoria, since you're the strongest, fastest feeder, you should probably get clothes for us after you feed. There's a house about five minutes into the other side of the forest. I don't like the idea of stealing, but see what you can find, please."

Alice was on her game now. Victoria nodded, then looked at me.

"Feed well. Your control is next to none. We can't have you slaughtering an airport full of humans," Victoria said matter of factly and I gulped.

How's that for pressure? I had no intentions of becoming a mass murderer.

Victoria disappeared into the woods and Alice and I were left alone. My shoulder was healed completely now, the scars disappearing into marble perfection. I swallowed hard and rubbed at it reflexively, before I glanced up and my eyes locked with Alice's.

My breath caught in my throat. Her dark brown eyes shimmered beautifully in the midday sun.

We stayed that way for a long moment, just staring at each other. A lifetime of communication seemed to pass between us, and I felt my heart beat steady with hers. We'd both been hurt. We'd both been yanked up into this hell storm with no ability to protest. We were both in this together, and we both still loved each other so, so much.

She stepped up to me, and turned her lips up to brush along mine in a soft, sweet kiss. That kiss soothed me more than I thought possible. I whimpered and she pulled back, giving me a gentile smile.

"It's time, Bella," Alice murmured, and she took my hand.

My stomach flip flopped. No doubt, I was terrified. I was seriously going to kill something as a vampire, and then drink its warm, fresh blood.

The thought both repelled me and made my skin tingle with excitement.

I never thought things would end up like this. Werewolves, vampires, and the most popular girl in school as my girlfriend?

Now, why did I ever complain about being home alone on a Friday night again?

Oh, yeah. It's because of that small, pixie like girl leading me into the forest, glowing even in her rustled appearance. For a second, I really had to stop and ask myself if this was all worth it. It didn't even take me a second. Yeah, this was definitely worth it.

_Alice _was definitely worth it.

The hunt was...Uneventful, I guess. Anti-climactic. It wasn't what I thought it would be. Alice had taken down a large buck, as well as a doe. I opted for a ballsy bear, and fed greedily.

Blood lust. How can I explain what that feels like?

It's like being a psychopathic serial killer for a little while. You don't give a shit what your prey feels like, only want to slaughter it, take it down, stop the burning in the back of your throat.

To be honest, I felt like crying when I examined the bear's dry carcass. I was seriously down for animal rights as a human, and I felt like crap after heartlessly murdering it. I felt like a part of the food chain, for real.

Still, I'd at least killed him quick. It must have been relatively painless, and he didn't put up much of a fight.

But then I started wondering if maybe he had a family, a few cubs...

And my throat closed up all over again.

He hadn't tasted nearly as good as the blood Sulpicia had force fed me. It had been like eating tofu when I'd been starving in the desert for days. It tasted good because it was what I needed and craved, but it wasn't the same as having a good ass cheese burger instead.

Victoria led us to the house, which seemed like it had been abandoned. That was good. I didn't feel like being a thief as well as a killer. Alice could tell that I didn't feel too great after the hunt, and she held my bloody hand determinedly in hers. She knew if I wanted to talk, I would. She just let me know that she was there, and I was so grateful for that.

I just wanted to forget about it. I had my mother on my mind, and every second we weren't on the road, going after her, I felt worse and worse.

The place had running water, another plus. Turns out, I'm a messy vampire as well as a messy human. We all showered quickly, separately, even though I inappropriately had the urge to shower with Alice due to my hormones.

When we were all washed off, we got dressed. Victoria simply put on her own clothes. Alice ditched Sulpicia's cloak, and nobody said anything when I promptly picked it up and ripped it into tiny shreds, growling, feeling a modicum of satisfaction.

Alice ended up in a black t shirt that was too large, and a pair of jeans that just barely fit her small frame. She tucked the shirt in and tightened a belt around it before rolling up the cuffs of the faded jeans. I opted for a simple brown t shirt with a sloping neckline and a pair of jeans that fit me well.

I mildly wondered who had lived here. Maybe they had a teenage daughter? We got lucky with the clothes, but were out of luck as far as a car went. Luckily, the airport was only around ten miles away. We could run there in ten minutes flat.

"Is everybody ready?" Victoria inquired, and I nodded.

"No, not yet," Alice murmured. Before either of us could ask what she could possibly still have to do, my mouth was covered by her soft, heart shaped lips. My eyelids fluttered and my heart beat faster. Even though it couldn't hammer wildly like it had before, Alice's kiss seemed to make it beat harder, more deliberately, like the slow, steady pounding of tribal drums. She pulled away too soon, and I couldn't stop the soft purr that rolled out of the back of my throat as my eyelids fluttered open.

"Okay. Now I am," she grinned and I smiled widely back, feeling like a goofy, lovesick teenager all over again.

I seriously missed being that goofy, lovesick teenager.

Leave it to Alice to wipe away all my worries and thoughts (if only for a moment) with one sweet kiss.

Victoria looked away from our loving display, and I saw a flash of pain in her eyes. I suddenly realized how hard this must be for her, too. I couldn't imagine what she could possibly be feeling. Her mate, whom she'd had to trick into thinking she was in love with someone else (namely me, damn it) was under the control of the most vicious, fucked up bitch to ever walk the earth, and after supposedly dying at that person's hands.

Oh, yeah, and she might also be a murderer because she could, kinda, totally and completely kill my mom.

"Let's go," Victoria murmured, and she was the first out of the modest house, shirking off our display. I felt a wave of sympathy roll through my chest, and Alice met my eyes. We both felt it. I could read it in Alice's furrowed brow, even with how much Alice despised and still didn't trust Victoria.

"Come on, Bells. Let's go save your mother," Alice muttered to me and I nodded, my face setting with determination.

We'd wasted enough time already, so as soon as we hit the dirt of the forest, we all simultaneously bolted. We sprinted, going at least eighty miles an hour, maybe more because I swear my feet weren't even touching the ground.

It was exhilarating.

Partly because I hadn't yet tripped and fallen like an idiot yet, but I'm sure it was coming soon enough.

I could see Alice and Victoria's blurs ahead of me, Victoria a flame whispering on the wind with her vibrant red hair, and Alice a shadow streaking through the trees with her jet black locks.

As we moved further and further into civilization, I felt my nostrils flare with the scent of human blood. The metallic scent coated the back of my throat with every inhale and I felt the slow burn building up. By the time we reached the airport, my fangs were down and out, itching for warm, soft flesh, even with a whole bear soothing my insides.

We reached the airport and slowed to a dull jog, hiding in the trees surrounding the entrance to the airport. There were people everywhere, filling the air with their ungodly, delicious scent. My stomach clenched.

Holy shit, I never knew how hard it would be to control myself. I didn't understand how calm Victoria and Alice were being. There was so many people, pulling up in their cars, parking, getting out, wandering around, coming and going in and out of the airport. It was like putting a starving fat kid into a McDonalds at lunch time.

The words red, kill, and feed kept running through my mind. The animal inside me growled for blood.

"Alice," I whined softly, my golden eyes watering with bloodlust. We had to find a way to sneak onto one of the planes seeing as how we had no money to pay for one. The cargo bay was our best bet, and it was up to Victoria to lead us. She'd apparently done this before for the Volturi multiple times.

They both glanced at me as I writhed, my throat bubbling and rumbling with low, hungry growls.

"Shit, she's never gonna make it like that," Victoria hissed and Alice frowned, putting one hand between my hunched together shoulder blades.

"Bella, look at me, sweetheart. Look at me," she murmured, and I ignored her. My eyes had landed on this bombshell blond whose scent was making my muscles tighten with hunger. I was seriously contemplating going for it.

"_Bella_," Alice insisted, grabbing my chin and yanking my face towards her.

I snarled reflexively when she broke my line of sight with the prey I'd zeroed in on, baring my fangs at her. Her upper lip curled back as our eyes locked.

"Don't you snarl at me," she growled, and I felt my jaw lock as my chest rumbled. Our eyes bore into each others, and I watched her muscles tense up.

It was a fight for dominance, I realized. The eye contact showed neither of us backing down, and I felt an uncontrollable urge to lunge at Alice.

But I wouldn't attack her, no. I could never hurt her, not seriously. I just wanted to cuff the back of her head, capture her lips in a kiss and straddle her, pin her to the ground, show her who was boss...

Alice's fangs slid into place with a soft click, challenging me. Her molten gold eyes smoldered like my own. I was seconds away from launching myself at her.

"Oh, knock it off! The sexual tension is smothering me," Victoria snapped and we both jerked our heads towards her, having forgotten she was here. It effectively ended our little test, but somehow, I knew this wasn't the last of that fight for dominance we'd be seeing.

"Sexual tension is your forte. Quit complaining," Alice grumbled.

"Just shut up and follow me..." Victoria's last word came out so soft that even with my hearing I almost missed it. It sounded suspiciously like the word 'brat'.

"Excuse me?" Alice hissed as we crouched low and began moving around the airport, always hidden in the trees.

Victoria just smirked and I did too at the indignant look on Alice's face. Even through my bloodlust, Alice was too freaking cute.

I grinned at her from behind as she pouted, momentarily distracted from the humans.

We maneuvered all the way around the airport until we reached the back end where planes were set to take off on the massive runway, and by that time, my thoughts were murderous. I knew my eyes must be a dark brown at this point. I was so damn hungry for the kill that I'd been reduced to a whimpering mess.

We stared at the closest plane that was getting ready to take off. Alice used her powers to determine where it was headed, which was thankfully Phoenix, my home town. We got seriously lucky as far as getting a plane went.

It was a small _private_ plane, with what looked to be no more than ten people boarding it. Less blood meant it was less likely I'd go full on Gwen Stefani bananas and slaughter somebody.

"Bella."

I glanced up, reluctantly from the man who'd been packing the cargo bay of the plane we'd be stowing away on.

My eyes met brilliant red-gold and suddenly, my fears, concerns and worries were wiped away as something gentle and coaxing soaked me. They were replaced with a warm feeling of contentment, of love.

"Whoa, what did you do to her?"

I could faintly hear the voice of an angel, realized it was Alice, and smiled dopily.

Victoria, you sneaky bitch.

I felt an insane urge to giggle wildly as Victoria broke eye contact with me.

I wondered if this was what it was like to be high as Alice gave me a weird look when I turned to her, and promptly placed a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

"You. Are _so_. Pretty," I muttered, overwhelmed with the need to rub against my mate like a pampered house cat.

"It's called a glamour. Not very difficult to do with my powers. I've simply given her a dose of pheromones that make her cuddly instead of killy," Victoria's far away, honey coated voice replied.

I won't lie, I was seriously enjoying that glamour. The look on Alice's face was hilarious as I fell all over her, rubbing my face into her neck.

You know what? I take it back. It wasn't like being high. I bet it was more like taking Ecstasy. Her skin was so smooth and soft to me, and everything felt wonderful. I felt the urge to moan when my lips brushed her marble skin.

"Killy isn't a word," Alice grunted back. "Bella, would you quit it?" she added when I crawled into her lap and began running my fingers through her amazingly soft hair, purring the whole time.

No, madam, I don't think I will. You, beautiful, feel like pleasure solidified.

And I love your cutesie, wootsie, button nose.

...Gag me with a spork. I can't believe I actually thought that. Cutesie wootsie?

Am I a fucking telly tubby?

Alice narrowed her eyes at me when I flicked her nose gently, giggling loudly.

"Alright, let's go. Now, before the glamour wears off and she starts getting _killy_ again," Victoria jumped up and blurred to the plane as the cargo man walked off, his job finished.

"Not a word," Alice muttered under her breath, before rolling her eyes and smirking at me. "Come on, Bella. You can play with my _cutesie wootsie_ button nose on the plane."

Ah, _fuck me_! Had I said that out loud?

Alice would never let me live this one down. Curse you, Victoria...

Alice ended up carrying me to the plane because I so did not want to unlock my arms from around her neck, or pull my face out from its crook. She smelled so nice, and when I was there, my throat didn't burn for blood.

She ran us to the cargo bay, tossing me up like a package because the ramp had been drawn in already, much to my displeasure as I yelped for her when I went flying through the air. Victoria caught me, and tossed me into a pair of bags that had what felt like bowling balls inside them.

She snickered when I yelped again, crashing down.

Bitch.

I growled at her, before Alice leapt up into the cargo bay and happy Bella was back, melting into the uncomfortable baggage like I'd been given a shot of morphine.

"How long is that going to last? This is going to be a long ride," Alice inquired as she trotted over to me, allowing me to wrap my arms around her neck and pull her down to me once more. She scooped me into her lap and I purred loudly.

"A few hours. I can do it again if I have to. Hopefully, when she starts getting hungry, it will counteract that. If worse comes to worst, I really don't want to have to listen to you two humping like rabbits."

Uh...What?

Although I'm definitely not opposed to the idea, what is she on about?

"What?" Alice gave Victoria a confused look as the redhead rolled her eyes.

"Fucking is the number one way to distract a vampire from blood. But I seriously am not in the mood for that, so keep your bitch under control," Victoria sneered, reminding me again of why I hated her.

She could be downright crude and lewd when the moment struck her.

"She's not my bitch," Alice snapped back as the cargo man came back and shut the bay door, sealing us in darkness. We could see through it anyway, and to my vampire eyes, Victoria's hair was as good as a fire glowing in the dark.

"Right. Her newborn desire for dominance won't last forever. Trust me, she's gonna be your bitch soon enough."

I honestly didn't see that happening as I squirmed in Alice's arms, barely tuning into their conversation as Victoria's pheromones reduced me to a grinning, wriggling kitten searching for affection in Alice's lap.

"Whatever..."

Great comeback, Alice.

We touched down in Phoenix with no problems. Victoria was very skilled with her powers, and with Alice's visions, we were able to exit the plane without being caught. We'd landed in Phoenix, but all the way across the city from my mother's house.

Eh, you win some, you lose some.

Victoria kept me glamoured all the way to my mother's home, much to Alice's annoyance. I was all over her in the cab, kissing and lapping at her neck and mouth, which the perverted cab driver definitely enjoyed. His scent definitely registered to me, but I was too preoccupied with sneaking my hand into Alice's panties.

I failed, of course.

But I mean, hey, it's hard to be ninja when your girlfriend can see absolutely everything you're doing and is watching you like a hawk after you unsnapped the button of her jeans and fondled her boobs without asking first...Twice.

...Totally not my fault. I blame Victoria.

We reached my mother's house in about forty five minutes. As Alice and I got out, Victoria had to glamour the cab driver so we didn't have to pay. He drove off in a daze, glancing back every now and then to check out Victoria's sizable cleavage.

I felt Victoria's pheromones dissipating, and I could finally think clearly. My head cleared and I stopped trying to get Alice to give me a piggy back ride, suddenly remembering why we were here in the first place.

"That was so not cool," I growled at her, shaking my head and Alice sighed with relief when I stopped climbing up her back like a monkey.

"But so necessary. It's not my fault you're like a bitch in heat when you're glamoured," Victoria shrugged and dodged back when I took a wild swing at her face, snarling in irritation, mostly because it was true. She smirked and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Control should have been the first thing you were taught when you woke up," Victoria sneered and I huffed, again stung more so because she spoke the truth.

I had next to no control over my emotions and desires anymore. It was a terrifying, yet exhilarating feeling, being a vampire…

"In case you two have forgotten, we're here for a reason," Alice broke in, and I took in a sharp, unneeded breath.

Of course we were here for a reason. Victoria's damned glamour had taken my mind off of it, but now it hit me full force.

Oh, _fuck_, what if we were here too late?

Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck! How could I have forgotten? Even with those stupid pheromones!

Without thinking about it, I bolted for the door of my old home.

My mom lived out in this isolated place, with a forest behind her house. She lived nearly on the edge of this canyon, with a roaring river down at the bottom and beautiful mountains on the opposite side of it. The canyon was about a quarter mile into the forest.

I caught the scent of human blood, and with tremendous willpower, ignored the hunger that panged in my throat. I recognized two different scents, one which was without a doubt, my mother's. I whimpered softly. The other seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

With reluctance, I rang the doorbell instead of busting down the door. Alice and Victoria approached behind me, and I saw Alice's pupils dilate, indicating she was checking her visions.

There was no answer. I let out a pained whine; hit the doorbell again, twice.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming! Fuckin' Christ, impatient...Probably some stupid retailers anyway..."

I let out a low, rumbling growl as I heard that familiar voice coming through the wooden door and the sound of those loud, thumping footsteps, aggressively approaching us.

And then the door was opening, and then I was desperately strangling the snarl building in my chest as the person I hated most in the world, second only to Sulpicia appeared before me.

Our eyes locked. My seething amber ones on his beady black ones.

"You," he breathed, eyes narrowing, and for a moment, all I could do was glare deep into his eyes, finding no soul in their lightless depths.

We stared each other down for a solid ten seconds.

And then Phil slammed the door right in my face.


	31. Run, Karma, Run

It took me a moment to register what had just happened. But when it did, a dark sense of rage claimed my chest, billowing out in the form of an infuriated snarl. I lunged forward, intent on kicking the door in and _hurting_ that asshole, unable to control myself with my vampiric instincts.

"Bella, NO!" Alice cried and threw her arms around me as I jerked forward. She pinned my arms to my sides and yanked us backwards, thwarting my attempt to break down the door.

How _dare_ he! I hate him, I hate him, _I hate him_! I can't believe she's still _with _that bastard!

"The hell is his problem?" Victoria muttered as Alice restrained me. My chest continued to vibrate with barely contained growls and snarls.

"God! I hate him! Why is he still here?" I shouted, ripping myself out of Alice's arms.

"Bella, chill out! What's wrong? I mean, that was a totally jerk move, but still..." Alice stood away from me, uncomprehending as to why I was so pissed off all of a sudden.

I shook with anger. Alice couldn't know what he'd done, or who he was, or why I despised that man so much. I took a moment to collect myself as Victoria and Alice patiently waited. I took a deep breath to relax myself, deciding to just spill it.

"That was _Phil_," I practically spat his name out. "He's my mom's _fiancé_." And nearly vomited out the word 'fiancé.'

But now that I think about it, they've probably gotten married at this point.

The thought makes me physically sick to my stomach.

"Okay?" Alice quirked an eyebrow at me.

I growled to myself, clenching and unclenching my fists. It looked like I was going to have to start from the beginning, much as I really, really didn't want to.

"Do you remember what Sulpicia said about Josie White, back at the palace?" I inquired after a long, furious moment of silence as we stood on the porch with me glaring at the place where that douche bag had stood a moment before.

"Yeah, why?" Alice replied, eyebrows furrowing.

"Josie White was a bully. She messed with me every single day. She called me names. She threw shit at me at lunch, turned everyone against me, and even filled my locker with a bunch of sex toys as a joke once."

Just the memory alone was enough to make my skin crawl with bitterness. Victoria and Alice listened intently, and I continued after taking a moment to compose myself again. It had been a long time since I'd had to deal with these emotions, even think about them, and now I had to spill it all out at once so that they could understand.

"She was my best friend in middle school. But when she found out that I liked girls, that perfect little Christian girl turned into this hateful bitch. She told everybody. That was why she picked on me so much. Her father was the local church leader, so of course she had to turn on me like that. I should have known better than to tell her. But I thought I could trust her. I was so _stupid_."

I still regretted it to this day. How could I have thought it was okay to tell Josie? I knew what she was like. She always wore this thick golden cross on her neck, even quoted the bible on the occasion. But beyond that, she'd been pretty cool. I was stupid, naïve and innocent. I trusted without doubt.

And it came back and bit me in the ass.

Alice put a comforting hand on my shoulder as I went on.

"One day, I came home late. I'd had detention that day for chewing gum..."

Here, I froze and Alice locked eyes with me. We both grinned automatically and she murmured, "But of course."

I shook my head and the brief moment of ironic humor passed as the dark part of my story came into play.

"As soon as I walked in, I knew something was wrong. There was a police officer in my living room, and he was talking to my mom and Phil. _Fuck_, I hated Phil as soon as I met him. Guess who his best friend was? Josie's _father_. He met my mother through that church. My mom never cared that I was gay before she met him. She loved me no matter what. But then she met that fucktard and everything went to shit. She started bringing him home. As soon as he realized who I was, we were at war. He made sure I knew how much he didn't like me. Constantly put me down, and slowly convinced my mom that I was an abomination."

I felt sick just thinking about it. I seriously wanted to throw up as I remembered how he'd turned my own mom against me; someone who I thought would love me no matter what.

Guess not.

"Oh, Bells," Alice sighed and squeezed my shoulder gently. I shook my head, swallowing hard. I had to finish. I had to tell them the rest so they could understand just how much I hated him.

"But that day, when I got home, that's when all hell broke loose. The police officer was telling them that I had beaten Josie to a bloody pulp. That on my way home, I'd met Josie outside school and decided to take revenge on her for her 'supposed' crimes, supposed because nobody would ever take my side in that homophobic place, would never believe that she attacked me on a daily basis..."

How the hell could I have beaten anyone to a bloody pulp? I weighed like a hundred pounds, maybe, and consistently hurt_ myself_ by simply walking too fast.

"He said the Whites weren't pressing charges out of the goodness of their hearts which was _such _bull. I bet money Sulpicia threatened them to keep them quiet. But the officer said I was on thin ice, and if anymore was heard about me going after Josie, I'd be arrested. He left, and as soon as he shut the door, before it even _clicked shut_..."

I twisted my head from side to side, another snarl building up in my chest as Victoria and Alice continued to listen closely.

"He hit me. He seriously reached out and backhanded me. Do you know what it's like to be fifteen and hit by a thirty year old man? It hurts. _A lot_. I swear I thought he broke my cheek. He started screaming about how I was some dyke, a demon who had assaulted a good, Christian girl who had never done anything at all to me. And you know what my mom did?"

Here, my stomach flip flopped and a strangled sob choked its way out of my throat. Alice's hand slipped down my arm and grasped at my hand as Victoria's jaw locked up.

"Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely _nothing_! She listened to him yell me into a sobbing wreck, watched my eye blacken up and then let him send me to my room like I'd actually done something horrible. They didn't even let me say a goddamn word!"

My chest was heaving and I clutched to Alice's hand like a lifeline. I swear, if I could go back and do it all again, I'd knee that asshole right in his balls and run away from home. I can't believe my own mother turned on me like that. It was like she wasn't even there, watching it all happen to me.

Yet I still loved her. I couldn't _not_ love her. She was my mom. It's so hard to hate your mother, to hold anything against her. Even now, when I wasn't entirely sure but mostly sure that she was okay seeing as how Phil had answered the door like he normally would. But that niggling doubt in the back of my mind made my stomach churn. Even after everything she'd done, or rather _hadn't_ done...

I still cared for her.

"He came in two hours later and barked at me to pack. I tried to ask why, and he raised his hand like he was gonna hit me again. That was all I needed. I packed everything. I thought they were kicking me out. But he just threw me into the car and they drove me to the airport. He shoved a one way ticket into my hand, and sent me on my merry way to Forks. My mom...My mom, she...She didn't even say a _word_ to me...I watched her the whole way, numb...She just _watched me go_ and I..."

My eyes were burning with tears that I couldn't cry. Another sob tore from me and Alice threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into her soothing embrace. I clutched desperately at her ribs, and I felt Victoria's hand between my shoulder blades. It wasn't much, but I was grateful for the red head's comfort.

I think that was the moment I seriously began to trust Victoria.

The old wounds had been reopened, having never scarred over, just been covered with a band aid that was now being painfully ripped off again.

I wanted to kill Phil so much. I could have, I know I could have. Right then, I could have ripped his throat out and killed him; that was how much I hated him. He took _everything_ from me.

Is it bad that I never told Charlie what happened? They sure didn't. I had ended up having to tell my father that that the massive bruise on my cheek, black eye and cut across my temple from Phil's school ring was not, in fact, from a thirty year old man that had backhanded me like a common whore, but simply the product of an unfortunate tumble down the stairs.

"I kept waiting for her to do something, say something...Anything at all...But she just stared at me with these blank eyes and never said a word...It was like she wasn't even _there_...Like she looked right through me..."

For a long moment, all I could do was rest my forehead on Alice's shoulder and let her hold me. Eventually, my eyes dried out and I breathed in her scent deeply, relaxing enough for her to back away a bit and give me an encouraging smile.

I couldn't believe how much this still hurt even after all this time.

"Phil's an asshole, and Bella, you deserved so much more from your mother. You still do," Alice breathed, and I saw her eyes shining, too.

I glanced up when I heard Victoria sniffle softly. I couldn't stop the grin when she noticed me looking and glowered.

"What? Something got up my nose..."

Alice smirked and she rolled her eyes.

"Shut up. I'm not heartless, despite what you think," the red head muttered and Alice's smirk softened to an almost unreadable expression.

No, you're not, Vicky. No, you apparently are not.

Despite the fact that I still felt like snarling and sobbing all at once, Victoria put a smile on my face with her uncharacteristic sympathy.

"Yeah, well...Phil is and I don't know how we're going to get inside to check on my mom with him there. You know what's weird? His scent didn't appeal to me at all. He seriously repels me that much," I told them and Alice looked thoughtful.

I figured if anyone was going to make a plan, it would be her.

"Not uncommon. Bloodlust can be overridden by disgust on occasion. As far as checking up on dear old Mommy, I did not drive all the way out here to leave again without knowing for sure," Victoria replied loftily.

"Neither did I, but how..."

Alice interrupted me by turning to the door and promptly kicking the dog shit out of it, blasting it off its hinges and sending red wood splintering through the air as it crashed down.

...Well.

Somebody's violent.

"What the _FUCK_ was that?"

My jaw dropped as Alice wiped her hands together, eyebrow quirking in distaste at the mess that now littered the entrance to what used to be my home.

The moment of stunned silence was interrupted by hysterical laughing, coming from Victoria at the sound of Phil's outraged cry coming from somewhere deeper inside the house. It took me a moment, but slowly I broke out into a fit of shocked giggles as Alice looked entirely too pleased with herself and way, way too cute because of it.

Take that, you smug fucker.

"Brilliant. I know you may not like me, Tinkerbell, but that was completely unnecessary, and therefore completely amazing. I didn't think you had it in you," Victoria chuckled and Alice frowned.

"_Tinkerbell_? Really?"

"Better than Icky Vicky," was all the fiery red head replied and they shared a moment, staring the other down before the corners of Alice's lips tilted up in her customary smirk.

I realized that right then, they'd come to a silent understanding, and that maybe, just maybe, Alice was finally starting to forgive Victoria, just a little bit.

The moment was shattered at the sound of Phil thundering down the stairs, and soon appeared before us, a bat held tightly in his grip. His face was red and he was shouting before he even turned and saw us.

"Whoever the hell you are, you better clear out now-"

His tirade was cut off the second his eyes locked on mine.

That's right, bitch.

We're still here and we're not going _any_where, especially if I don't know for sure if my mom is okay.

I tilted my chin up slightly, glaring him down as my fists clenched and all my muscles pulled taut with aggression. My posture screamed dominance and defiance.

"The fu-Did _you_ do this? Huh? Do you have _any i_dea how much it's going to cost to fix that, huh? Any idea? And just what the _hell_ are you doing back here, you filthy little dyke?"

And here, my eyes fluttered closed, my head cocked to the right a bit and I felt my jaw clench. I heard him stomping towards us, felt every instinct inside me scream to attack, but I held myself still.

It would be so easy to just reach out and snatch his voice right out of his throat with one well placed slash. I could tear his neck apart and end his nasty, hateful words so easily that it almost scared me.

I could murder someone without a second thought.

But his next words broke me.

"And who the fuck are they, your slutty girlfriends or something? The tiny one even has the dyke haircut-"

My eyes flew open and I barely registered the fact that both Victoria and Alice made to grab me before I blurred forward, meeting Phil halfway down the hallway. I saw him blanch, but as he reflexively raised the bat in defense, I grabbed it, ripped it from his hands and stood nose to nose with him, a snarl curling my upper lip up and over my fangs.

He crossed the line when he made a jab at Alice. He could cross me all he wanted; he couldn't hurt me anymore. But he would _not_ put down the one person who meant more to me than anything else in the world.

He had no right. He had no _fucking_ right. And I wouldn't stand for it.

His breath was hot and smelled rancid, like stale cigarette smoke and alcohol. My nostrils flared in disgust and I promptly stopped breathing to avoid inhaling even more of his nasty scent.

I was so close that I could see his beady little pupils dilating in shock and _fear_.

I knew the cold fury in my features had finally registered to him. His obviously drunk bravado couldn't blind him to me anymore. He knew. He _knew_ that I was different. He knew just like any other human this close to a vampire knew that something was off.

And I hoped and prayed that he was as terrified of me as he looked.

"Where. Is. My._ Mother_?" I barely got out through gritted teeth and he took a wary step back. It wasn't what I wanted to say; I wanted to scream in his face what I really thought of him.

Or you know, pay him back for that cute little bitch slap he gave me way back when.

With interest.

_A lot_ of interest.

I saw his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed. He took a wary step back and seemed a lot smaller without that bat in his hands.

"None of your goddamn business-"

His flinch was extremely satisfying as I slammed the bat to the ground and stepped forward invading his personal space again.

"_Wrong answer_, Phil!" I snarled but before I could do anything to sate the animalistic anger burning in my chest, I felt a hand on my shoulder, restraining me from seriously laying a smack down on this pathetic excuse for a human being.

"Bella," Alice's voice made me hesitate as Phil recoiled at the sight of my fangs, which I couldn't stop from dropping out. "He's not worth it, Bells. Relax."

At Alice's words, Phil suddenly seemed to realize that he was being terrified and bullied by a girl who he'd once dominated with such ease, who had just appeared on what he thought was _his _doorstep and kicked in _his_ door and was now backing him down like a scared puppy.

"Get out. Get the hell out of my house before I have to put you in your place again, cunt! You should have stayed in Forks with your shitty excuse of a father-!"

My roar exploded out of my chest before I could stop it and Alice staggered back as I lunged, grabbed two handfuls of Phil's shirt and sent us crashing down a good six feet away. I bellowed in his face like a wounded rhinoceros, lifted him and slammed him back down over and over, the resounding thuds of his body hitting the ground violently again and again sickeningly satisfying.

How dare he. _How dare he_!

He had opened my floodgates.

He had taken a swing at my father, the one person who always looked out for me and loved me unconditionally, no matter what, even when he found out I liked girls, who protected me, who gave me everything...

No way. No way would I stand down and endure it any longer. I would hurt him _for_ Charlie.

I reared back and socked him right in the spot he'd slapped me across those years ago. There was a gross crunch and then I continued shaking him vigorously, screaming in his face. It was a wonder I was able to stop myself from killing him with that blow.

It was only the thought of my mother that stopped me.

"You fucking _asshole_! Don't you _dare _insult my father! You don't even know him! You don't know _me_, you _BASTARD_ and you never _did_! And you never will because you're a selfish, sick, hateful _DOUCHE BAG_ who I swear I'd fucking kill if it weren't for my mom! _WHERE IS SHE, PHIL_? Tell me, or I _swear_-"

My raging rant was cut off abruptly as Alice tackled me, sending us sprawling as Phil whimpered on the floor, blood pouring from the monstrous gash my knuckles had left on his cheekbone. His eye was already swelling shut and he curled up in the fetal position as I bucked and tried to remove Alice, but she pinned me down by my wrists.

"Bella! BELLA! Stop! Stop it! You're vamping out! _STOP_!" Alice yelled in my face as I lost the ability to speak, an unintelligible string of growls and snarls pouring from my mouth.

I couldn't believe how hot my fury still ran, even after all this time. It seemed that becoming a vampire had not dulled the ache of my human memories. If anything, it only made them stand out even more painfully.

"Baby, stop. Look at me, sweetie, look at me. You're okay, it's okay...It's _okay_..."

Alice voice had become so soft and soothing that slowly, ever so slowly, I stopped trying to wrench her off of me and went limp, my chest heaving as she straddled me and murmured soothingly, coaxing the beast inside me to go dormant.

My eyes were wet. I never realized how much it hurt not being able to cry. My vision was all blurry and the backs of my eyes were burning hot. I choked on a sob and Alice shh'd me gently.

Only Alice could have soothed my rage at that point. Her soft, heart shaped lips pressed to my forehead as I struggled to regain control of myself.

Alice eased off of me as I lay there, feeling surprisingly drained and weak. I felt my bottom lip quivering and missed the power the anger had afforded me as opposed to this vulnerability.

My chest still hurt. I missed my mother and I couldn't get over what she and Phil had done to me.

But what happened next was something that wiped all the pain away and replaced it with a numbing sense of disbelief.

Victoria padded over to Phil who lay curled in on himself, shaking hard.

She regarded him with distaste, before she placed a foot on either side of him and crouched down, face devoid of any emotion.

"If I were you, I'd tell us where Bella's mother is. Otherwise, I'm going to restrain Alice and let her get her revenge. And you really don't want that," Victoria's voice was silky honey, deceptively soft, poisonous. It was the voice I'd come to know from her, and not her newer sarcastic, cynical one.

Alice threw the red head a dirty look at the possibility of Victoria actually letting me have a go at Phil and I swallowed back the pang of anger that threatened to overwhelm me again.

"Normally, I'd be against such actions, but then you just kept running your mouth and I decided I wouldn't mind so much if Bella shut it for you. I don't appreciate being called a slut by someone who's seen me for thirty or so seconds...So why don't you start..._Talkin_g..."

Victoria was back to her old, slick and dangerous self. She cruelly grabbed Phil by his hair and lifted his head so she could see his face, making him cringe in pain.

I have never felt so callous and cut off to someone else's pain as I did in that moment. I felt nothing, not even a smidge of guilt at the look of agony on Phil's bloodied face.

The vampire in me relished his pain. It was both terrifying and comforting.

"Sheftme..."

The garbled response made Victoria's eyes narrow as I gingerly sat up, Alice's hand on the back of my neck, both to keep me close and to comfort me.

"Sorry, I don't think I understood that very well. Care to _repeat_ that?" Victoria cooed and Phil yelped when she yanked his head harshly as punishment.

"Victoria!" Alice snapped, eyes flashing. "We're not here to _torture him_! We've already done enough damage so don't add to it!"

"Sorry. Habit," Victoria didn't look remotely sorry as she gave Phil a look of disgust when he whimpered loudly.

"She...She left...Me..."

I froze. My slow heartbeat stopped completely.

"What?" Victoria said sharply, tightening her grip on Phil's hair as he writhed in pain.

"She l-left me! I dunno where she went! Christ, please don't hurt me anymore..."

"What do you mean she left you?" Alice asked, her voice much softer and less threatening than Victoria's. She clearly didn't share our desire to hurt him.

"I mean she _left_ me! Like a m-month after we sent _her_ away-" Phil gestured weakly at me, "Renee fucking left me...Haven't seen her since...P-please, just let me go..."

Victoria let his head go and it thunked to the floor, making him cry out. Alice glowered at her as my eyes stayed wide.

She left him.

My mom...

She left him...

A month after they sent me away, she actually _left _him? And she...Where did she go?

How..._Why_...

"Oh, fuck me," I whimpered and dropped my head into my hands, a shuddering breath rattling out of my chest.

I couldn't process this bomb that had just been dropped on me. I had always thought that they'd been so much happier with me gone, had stayed up late at night talking about how much of a disgrace I was, an abomination, that they'd gone off and gotten married soon after I'd left.

But they hadn't even lasted a month before my mom _left_ him.

"Bella, I know this is a big deal for you..." Alice dropped to her knees next to me and gently tugged my hands away, making me face her.

Her eyes were a dark brown, bordering on black despite the healthy meal we'd had before and after we'd come here. They swirled with concern and worry as she held my wrists in her tiny hands.

"But we need to go. This was obviously a trap. And we're going to be in some serious trouble if anybody finds out what we did, okay? This was all a mistake and we need to leave, Bells," she urged me up to my feet as Phil curled in on himself again.

"I wouldn't call the cops if I were you. In case you haven't guessed, we're not exactly human. And I can promise you, if you do tell anyone what happened I'll come back here and..."

The rest of Victoria's threat was cut off as she bent low and whispered into Phil's ear, so softly that even with our hearing we couldn't catch it.

All I know is, it must have been pretty bad for Phil to cringe some more and nod like a small child. I didn't doubt that Phil would seriously think twice about informing anyone of what had happened.

His pride probably wouldn't want to let anyone know, either. As Alice helped me to my feet and led me, numb, to the door, I caught the look of bitter hatred on his face as he watched me go.

"Hope it hurts, jackass."

He flinched when I spoke, and I still felt nothing as we walked out of the house, crunching the shattered remains of the door beneath our feet as we went.

It was like I'd poured all my emotion into beating the crap out of Phil, and now couldn't feel anything as he'd dropped that little nugget of information on me. It blocked every other thought out.

She left him. My mom left Phil. She's gone.

She's _gone_.

I skirted to a halt in the middle of the lawn, a hand coming to my mouth as realization and pure terror flooded me.

"Oh, god, Alice! Where could she be? This may have been a trick but that doesn't mean Sulpicia wasn't part of it! Oh god, oh god!"

Panic set in.

"Where is she, Alice? Where is my mom?" I started to pace.

"Bella, don't freak out..."

"Too freaking late for that! Oh, Christ, what if we're too late? What if something's already happened to her, Alice? I won't be able to take it..."

My panicked rant was cut off as a flash of brilliant white-gold fluttered across the peripheral of my right eye.

I knew that shade. I knew what that color belonged to. My vampiric memory locked it on to the only thing it could possibly be as my heart skipped a beat.

I whirled and saw Rosalie Lillian Hale disappearing into the forest, her white-gold hair flowing behind her as she bolted into the trees.


	32. Queen to D1

I didn't stop to think. I booked it after that brilliant flash of golden locks, going from zero to sixty in a second flat.

"Bella!" I heard Alice cry out for me as I disappeared into the forest after what I knew was Rosalie.

"Shit," Victoria muttered, and I knew they were pursuing us.

I could see her ahead of me, blurring between trees, leaping over fallen logs and tearing through the underbrush. I knew that scent, and I knew that hair.

I _knew _it was Rosalie. There was no way it wasn't.

I couldn't even feel. All I knew was that it was Rosalie, and I had to catch her. I had to, so I ran as hard and as fast as I could.

We only ran for what seemed to be thirty seconds before the trees abruptly cut off and trailed away, leaving an open, grassy area, before the world seemed to drop off into nothing.

It was the canyon; Rosalie skirted to a halt inches from the precipice, making me copy her movements, if much less gracefully. I staggered to a stop, nearly falling out of the trees as my throat closed up.

It was a breath taking sight, only heightened by Rosalie's beautiful presence.

The canyon was a place my mother often forbid me to go near when I was younger. It was, indeed, a dangerous place for a child, but so gorgeous to behold. The orange, dust coated rock dropped down into a roaring, white water river, hundreds and hundreds of feet below. It was wide enough for me to be certain that even as a vampire I'd fall far short of ever reaching the other side if I jumped for it. The forest continued off on the other side, before trailing up to the tall, majestic mountains.

But it was the sheer drop that took your breath away. Even a vampire would have a hard time surviving a fall from the top to that powerful river down below. And there was no way of knowing how deep the river was, or what sharp rocks may lie beneath its treacherous surface.

Rosalie's hair fluttered in the wind as she spun an about face, and our eyes locked together.

My stomach dropped.

They were bright red, and lifeless, emotionless.

But it was still her...It was still _Rosalie_...

"Bella, what the hell...Oh my god..."

Alice cut herself off as she blurred up next to me, giving me an agitated (read: annoyed) look, but her jaw dropped at the sight of her adoptive sister standing not twenty feet away, looking stunning in the bright light of the midday sun.

It was like staring down a ghost.

The last time I'd seen Rosalie, it had been with her head being wrenched at an impossibly awkward angle between Sulpicia's palms before she dropped dead to a palace floor. The thought still made my chest hurt.

I felt an insane urge to cry out to her, but remained deathly quiet for fear of startling her into another sprint.

"I'm seriously getting sick and tired of chasing after you two-"

If Alice had been stunned, Victoria looked absolutely gob smacked.

The red head appeared on my right, and instantly her muscles all bunched up, her lips parted in shock and her red-gold eyes went wide at the sight of her mate.

She breathed the one word neither Alice nor I could bare to.

"_Rosalie_," Victoria whispered, her voice catching on the second syllable.

Rosalie didn't acknowledge any of us. Her eyes seemed vacant, and far away. They stared straight at me, _through_ me.

What was she doing here? If she hadn't been after my mother, why would she be here? And the fact that she actually _was _here was disconcerting itself. Even though we'd been told Rosalie probably, _probably_ hadn't been killed that day, just remembering the sight of her, broken at Sulpicia's feet made my throat close up. She might as well have been dead to us, and the sight of her standing there...

It was like she'd been brought back to life, and we weren't prepared to see her so suddenly, as if no time had even passed. She looked the same as she always did; heartbreakingly beautiful, clothed in dark pants, a scarlet blouse and a black cloak that billowed out behind her with the breeze.

She was just the same, except for her ruby red, far away eyes...

But nothing prepared us for the voice that replied.

"My, my, my...What a _shocking _reunion..."

Every fiber of my being rebelled at the sound of that voice. Automatically, Alice and I snarled, whipped around as _Sulpicia_ appeared from within the shadows.

Oh, hell. It was _her_!

She was the_ last_ person I expected to show up right then.

We dropped into crouches, hissing and baring our fangs as that woman that I despised more than anyone else in the world, even Phil and that was saying something, especially after today, leisurely floated out of the silhouettes of the trees.

Victoria remained stock still, eyes still locked on Rosalie.

Sulpicia strolled right by Alice and me without even a backwards glance, as if we were nothing but agitated kittens hissing and spitting at her for taking our ball of yarn.

The pure shock of the moment kept us from lunging at her instinctively as she breezed on by, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. She stopped next to Rosalie and finally, Victoria made an indication that she was still with us as Sulpicia's filthy hand dropped heavily onto the vacant blonde's shoulder.

A low growl that would have made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up had I been human rumbled out of the red head's chest at the contact as Alice and I shifted upwards, too confused to hold the battle positions steadily.

I didn't understand. Nothing made sense. How could Sulpicia be here? The vision was obviously a lie if my mom had been gone for _years_.

Sulpicia cast us a lazy sneer, and I tensed hard when several of those bodyguards of hers appeared as well, stepping out of the forest in their glittering armor. They passed us and we bared our fangs at them. They ignored us, all four of them, as they went to stand around their Queen.

"Surprised, little one?" Sulpicia turned her patronizing gaze onto me and I glared right back.

Yes, bitch. Not that I'll ever let it show.

I smoothed out my face, simply stared her down. I glared deep into her pupils, showing no fear, even though I could feel it crawling up my spine. We were horribly outnumbered; though we had our talents, if Sulpicia had Rosalie and her powers under her control, we'd be in it if they attacked.

And I didn't even know how Sulpicia's powers work. Could she simply reach out and take my mind from me? Make me do as she bid?

The thought sent a sliver of ice through my chest.

There's no telling what messed up things she'd do if she could make me do whatever she wanted. Suddenly, I realized just why it must have been impossible for Victoria to escape her clutches. How could she when Sulpicia could do anything, everything that she wanted with those kinds of powers?

"Mm, you hide it well. Haven't you missed Rosalie at all? You chased after her so quickly...Don't tell me you're not shocked to see her?" Sulpicia murmured, cocking her head slightly to the right. "Oh, but of course, Victoria must have informed you of my particular ability to fake a death..._Just as I told her to_..."

My heart stopped. My world stopped moving. She couldn't mean...Could she?

No..._No_...

"Yes, Victoria, you've always been quite the actress...Or maybe they're just stupid. Good work," Sulpicia inclined her head towards the red head, and my stomach flipped painfully as Victoria's lips curled up into a sneer, her agitated demeanor dropping instantly.

God...God fucking damn it! _NO_!

"Yes, quite stupid. A little sniffling and minimal eye contact was enough to convince them, my Queen," Victoria replied as she stepped forward and away from us, right next to Rosalie. I couldn't do anything but stare in horrified disbelief as she took her place with her _true _allies.

She was lying to us the _whole time_!

I couldn't even speak. I felt like I'd been kicked in the face. I couldn't accept it so I just stared in numb disbelief, but my mate could apparently.

Alice erupted.

"You fucking _BITCH_! We _trusted_ you!" she screamed and lunged after the red head but my arms wrapped around her waist and restrained her.

My throat was tight, so tight with the betrayal.

We'd been _had_.

How could we have fallen for this? How could we have been so _stupid_? Victoria had never, _would never_ change her ways. Why did we ever even consider that possibility after everything she'd done?

We were so, so stupid...

Victoria got us, and she got us good. I'd seriously believed her sob story, come to actually trust her. Christ, I'd even begun to think she was a _friend_...But she kept her act up right till the very last second and we believed it the whole time.

I mentally beat myself over the head as Alice snarled and writhed with rage in my grip. Our situation had just gotten impossibly worse. Now it was just me and Alice against this sick, twisted bitch and her guards with their armor, and Rosalie...I don't even know. She still stood there, locked under Sulpicia's grip, under her powers.

"Yes, you did. I expected more from you, Alice. I thought it would be much harder to convince you, but you buckled so easily. It was actually quite a disappointment..." Victoria cast a pitying gaze on my mate, and I could feel Alice vibrating with fury and betrayal. "But I knew if I could get you, Bella would, of course, follow. This was less fun than I'd thought it would be."

Victoria had dropped her act as the curtains went down on her play. She truly was a brilliant actress, and an even bigger bitch than I'd ever thought.

"I still can't believe how easily you all fell for this. Seriously, Alice, what could have possibly made you think I really wasn't in control of myself when I was attacking you? _Surely_ you must have seen at least _some _of the enjoyment I got out of you writhing in ecstatic agony," Victoria sneered and I let loose a low, rumbling growl in my mate's defense as Alice's upper lip curled back in disgust.

I couldn't even begin to fathom how upset Alice might be at this point. Her worst nightmare had managed to reinsert herself into our lives, convince us that she was on our side, even after everything she'd done to Alice, had tricked us into what could quite possibly be our end...

For the first time, I felt fear instead of anger. We were well and truly screwed at this point. What could we do? We couldn't fight them, but that was all Alice wanted. I could feel her desperate desire to rip into Victoria, but I knew if she did Sulpicia's guards would tear her apart.

The thought made me sick to my stomach.

No way would I let that happen, no way. I squeezed Alice close to me as her chest heaved like mine had earlier.

"Mm, even I didn't see you two falling for it that easily. But I knew you would. Seems fate wanted me to succeed swiftly, hmm? As I promised, your prize, Victoria. I think you've earned her," Sulpicia smirked at me and I bared my fangs at her.

But my skin _crawled_ when she guided a silent Rosalie into Victoria's arms, and the red head purred softly.

"Thank you, my Queen. Laurent and I will have _so_ much fun with her..."

My eyes narrowed and Victoria noticed my confusion.

"You didn't really think she was my _mate_ did you? God, you really are an idiot! Do you think Rosalie could have kept something like that from you all for so long? Especially with the way I fought her. How could two mates ever fight so viciously? You _idiots_."

Yes, actually...It wouldn't have surprised me...

"No vampire can watch silently as their mate is burned alive. How could you not have guessed that I was lying? Rosalie said nothing when you all thought I was dying, even if it wasn't real. I thought for sure you'd call my bluff, but no, you are _fools_...Especially you, Alice. How could you even begin to believe me after all that I've done to you? You silly, stupid little girl!"

She was right. We had never put two and two together. But all the puzzle pieces fit. We should have known, we should have guessed...

Alice bristled at Victoria's words but said nothing, trembling in my arms. I could feel her shaking with pure, unadulterated hatred.

Sulpicia had been playing us all along. She had every base covered. She had a way to get us to the palace, and a way to recover us when we escaped. Victoria had never been on our side; we should have killed her the second we saw her, never have listened to a goddamn word she said.

We should have listened to _Alice_.

"Laurent is my mate, not Rosalie. I've simply had a yearning for this beautiful specimen for quite some time. We'll enjoy her, trust me," Victoria's smile made my blood boil.

I suddenly realized we couldn't just run like hell and leave Rosalie with them. Victoria and Laurent would do horrible, sick things to her.

Oh, shit!

_Laurent_!

He was her mate and we'd left Alice's adoptive siblings with him and his entire clan! _Damn_!

We'd seriously stepped in it this time. By the look on Sulpicia's face, I knew she was enjoying her triumph as Alice and I stiffened with realization.

We were so done for.

"There is no Memento Mori, is there?" I breathed dumbly, devastation written all over my face.

Sulpicia just smiled her sickening smile and winked at me.

"Finally coming to accept your failure? You didn't think I'd just let you all run off and play in the woods, did you? Tsk, tsk..." she laughed, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. "Although those wolves almost ruined everything...And really, was doing that to Phil necessary? I mean I know he hasn't treated you very well, Isabella, but come now. You _must_ have more self control than that."

Fuck you, lady. I wanted desperately to say it, but I didn't want to make our situation worse.

I felt myself boiling over with bitter hatred. I had never felt so much desire to murder, to _kill_...She was the reason Phil existed in the first place. If it weren't for her, I know he'd have never ended up in my life.

"I suppose this is the part where I reveal my evil plot to you, seeing as how there's no way for you to get out of this-"

"You wanna bet?" I snarled, interrupting her as I kept my arms wrapped tight around a stone silent Alice.

It was an empty bluff, but I couldn't stand another second of her sickly sweet voice. I wouldn't stand here and let her rub it in my face that she'd gotten us, that she'd been pulling our strings for years and we'd never even known it.

Sulpicia had literally controlled my entire life for so long...

The thought made my entire being recoil.

My gaze landed on Victoria, and I hated her with a fire and a passion that I'd never previously known beyond Sulpicia. It literally made my chest hurt, how much I hated her, for what she'd done, especially to my lovely, sweet Alice.

She only sneered back at me, obviously pleased with herself.

"I'm sure we can put the pieces together, Sulpicia. Don't bother gloating," Alice added in the coldest voice I'd ever heard from her. "Because we're going to be taking my sister back in about, oh, forty five seconds..."

Now, now, Alice.

Let's not go making promise we can't keep.

I gave her a confused look but she ignored me. She had to know that there was no way we'd ever be able to take back Rosalie from all six of them. There was no possible way.

"Oh, really? Have you forgotten my abilities, Alice?" Sulpicia's voice was butter smooth and she cast the girl a disbelieving glance. (I did too; I just did it without letting her know I was doing it. _Seriously_. How the hell did she expect us to do that?)

"You seem to be operating under the assumption that we're going to _come quietly_," Alice replied in a voice like ice. "Bella, sweetheart, please let go of me."

I complied, just because I was worried of what she'd do to make me let go if I didn't listen to her.

I don't know what Alice had in mind; all I knew was that she _did_ have something in her mind because I could see that look in her eye when she was planning something...

Especially when she was planning to fuck shit up.

That's my girl.

Whatever she was planning, I prepared to follow her to the very end, no matter what, even if it turned out to be some half assed last ditch attempt to salvage our situation.

If we were going down, we were going down swinging.

"Your cocky attitude is starting to annoy me, _Alice_," Sulpicia snapped, her red eyes flashing dangerously, making me swallow uncertainly.

"Then why don't you _do_ something about it?"

The challenge was a gauntlet thrown down as Alice stayed pressed up against my chest and I curled my lip at Victoria when I saw her running her hands down Rosalie's sides, taunting me.

Oh, how I wish Rosalie would snap out of it and use her powers to _wreck_ these people. Sulpicia's guards were unmoving, but their posture was powerful, showing their willingness to protect their Queen.

Sulpicia obviously hadn't been expecting Alice to react the way she was, unconcerned and aggressive (and neither had I). I could see the irritation in her features as she locked her jaw and glared down at my mate.

But she wasn't me; she couldn't sense the way Alice's heartbeat picked up its pace, or the way Alice stayed close to me for a reason. She couldn't feel Alice's muscles clenching in preparation for whatever was about to happen.

"Don't test me. If you come peacefully, this doesn't have to hurt..."

Ah, the noble gentle capture from our benevolent Queen, eh?

Alice wasn't having it.

"Fuck you and your high horse. We're not going anywhere."

Even when we're clearly at a disadvantage, my girl's still vicious.

I love it.

I had to stop myself from grinning at Sulpicia when she scowled at Alice's words that stung like barbed wire. I could see the anger all over the normally calm woman's face. Alice interrupting her was obviously hitting her buzzer. She'd probably been expecting us to cower and listen like quiet puppies as she revealed everything we already pretty much knew in a fit of triumph.

No dice, babe.

"Very well then, Mary Alice. You always did have to learn the hard way how to _respect your elders_!"

Sulpicia bolted forward so fast that I didn't even see her move until Alice staggered back into me and I braced to stop from falling over. Sulpicia was right in front of us, and her eyes bore into my lover's with an intensity that was almost unreal.

And then I felt it.

It was the same push that I'd felt when Jane attempted to use her abilities against me, only it was fainter. And I knew, instinctively, that it was pushing against _Alice_, and the vampire inside me snapped to attention.

_Protect her_!

I snarled and before I could understand how or why I was doing it, I pushed _back _against the intrusion tickling my senses as I felt Alice going limp beneath Sulpicia's gaze.

Sulpicia's face whipped up at the ethereal shove, and our eyes locked.

I could see it in her eyes; the sudden pure terror that overwhelmed her before her face melted from all emotion. I could feel the power coursing through me.

I _owned_ her.

_Back. OFF_!

My mind screamed those words as I yanked Alice from out between us, pulling her behind me.

And Sulpicia _obeyed_ me. She took several staggering steps back before our connection severed.

Our eyes stayed locked as I gasped, finally, finally comprehending my powers as Sulpicia realized what they were, too.

"You..." Sulpicia's words were soft with disbelief and...Fear.

She _feared_ me, and rightly so.

I felt the power coursing through me. I could barely believe it, but then I heard Alice _laughing_ behind me. And that's when I knew what Alice had been planning. She _knew_ what my powers were! She had baited Sulpicia into attacking us with her mind control abilities!

I could use someone's powers against them if they attempted to use them on me, or even Alice.

I felt a smirk pulling at my mouth as I realized just how much the tables had turned.

Way to go, babe.

You're fucking brilliant, Alice.

Sulpicia's face smoothed out when I gave her a simple smile.

"Me," I murmured and Sulpicia scowled deeply, her fists clenching.

"Where the fuck am I?"

Everybody whipped around as Rosalie spoke.

She was shaking her head and glancing down at herself, and I could see Victoria tensing up as her 'prize' awoke from her daze.

Apparently, Sulpicia was too stunned to remember to keep Rosalie under her control and the fiery blonde was coming back around.

The sight made a huge grin break out on my face.

Oh, yeah, bitch.

That's what's up.

Sulpicia didn't look half as confident as she had before. And how could she when Rosalie was now under her own control?

"What's going...YOU!" Rosalie's eyes flew wide as Victoria took several steps back, but it was too late. The ferocious blonde lashed out and cracked Victoria across the face before she could even blink. Victoria went sailing through the air as Rosalie hit her with a vicious one-two punch combination.

And then all hell broke loose.

"Get them!" Sulpicia barked, and Rosalie's head jerked around, her eyes lighting up with recognition when they landed on Sulpicia.

Thankfully, she took it all in stride.

The guards lunged, two for us and two for Rosalie as Victoria crashed down twenty feet away, groaning. But the sight of Rosalie back to her old self filled me with confidence that I hadn't had before as Alice and I met them head on.

I snarled in the face of one diamond armored guard and slammed into her before she could hit me first, sending us spinning in circles as we locked up together, hissing and growling.

Jesus, that stuff hurt! The diamond was seriously hard (as I was pretty sure that's what it was at this point), and as I landed what would have been a devastating blow to the other woman's midsection, I felt it crack, but also felt pain lance through my kneecap.

The woman sneered in my face and grabbed me by my shoulders before launching me off my feet and into a solid tree trunk. I yelped but didn't even hit the ground before she'd shouldered me like a linebacker through it, sending us flying as the tree trunk shattered in two with an ear splitting shriek, causing the tree to fall to the forest floor with a thundering crash.

Man, at this rate, I was going to get my ass kicked.

But if I can stand toe to toe with Rosa-fricking-Lie, I can take this skinny bitch!

I braced before I hit the ground and rolled when we did, kicking her off of me. She rolled through the air and landed on her feet a little ways away.

These guards were obviously trained, but I didn't care. I had vicious animalistic instincts on my side. I dropped to a crouch, my throat rumbling like an angry panther's would.

The guard turned and saw me reverting to my primal being, and froze.

Yep, I'm a newborn, sweetheart.

Get ready.

I blurred forward before she could prepare herself and tackled her into yet another tree, roaring angrily. It cracked on impact, but didn't break. Before she could stop me, I clutched either side of her head and _pulled_ with all my strength.

With a sickening _crack_, her head separated from her body, almost too easily.

Panting heavily, I promptly dropped the severed head as her body slumped and fell to the ground.

I just killed someone.

Whoa…

I couldn't even stop to think about it as I heard Alice and Rosalie still battling. In my fight, I'd gone further into the trees, but I could see my mate ducking, dodging and weaving under the attacks of a clearly frustrated male guard out by the canyon.

I made to go after them, but before I could, I heard an ungodly, terrifying roar tear through the forest.

It made a smile split my face.

Rosalie was _mad_.

And everybody knows when Rosalie's mad, she's unbelievably powerful.

I stumbled backwards as two blurs went streaking by me, one yellow and one fiery red.

"Come on, you bitch! I've been waiting to do this for years!" Rosalie screamed and I had to scramble backwards when the infuriated blonde got a good grip on Victoria's arm (as the redhead had been running away like a pussy), lifted her up over her head and then slammed her back into the forest floor before she wrenched it hard, snapping it at an impossible angle.

I felt slightly sickened, but Victoria, spitting out dirt as she reversed the grip, yanked Rosalie down to her level, and head butted the mess out of her. I heard Rosalie's nose crack and she staggered back, swearing the whole time as she released Victoria's wrist.

The red head took the opportunity to jump to her feet, and she tried to run, knowing she was horribly outmatched, but I finally realized that I should probably be helping.

Uh, no shit, Sherlock?

I managed to clothesline Victoria just in time, my arm shooting out and catching her in the throat as she sprinted by me. She fell, almost comically, onto her back.

"That's for Alice!" I snapped down at her, barely able to get the words out around my vampiric instincts.

But then my knees were buckling with pure lust and desire. I let out a choked cry as my sex slickened instantly and I felt to my hands and knees, gasping for air as Victoria pumped pheromones rapidly into me. My spine bowed inward as I arched my back.

My head swam and my eyes watered in forced ecstasy. I felt my body coming undone. It was too much, too much too fast and I couldn't even breathe as Victoria staggered up, hissing at me.

Well.

That's what I get for talking shit, I guess.

"You little slut...Should have killed you when I had the chance..." she panted at me, eyes wild, and I cried out in agonized pleasure, rolling in the dirt to try and stop the buzzing in my most intimate area.

Make it stop. Make it _stop_!

Rosalie did. She saved me as Victoria was too distracted with suffocating me in my own desire to notice the blonde walking up behind her.

With a menacing growl that made Victoria spin around in shock and fear, Rosalie leaped forward, grasped the red heads chin in one hand and her hair in the other before she ripped it from her body, the crack reverberating through the forest.

The sight was a lot harder to take in when I wasn't fuming with newborn instincts. It was pretty gruesome as the light left Victoria's eyes and her body went limp, falling to the right before it thumped to the forest floor. The noise caused me to cringe, though I felt nothing but disgust for the heartless woman.

And just like that, Victoria was gone.

Victoria was dead.

Victoria.

Was actually dead. For real.

_Finally_.

I felt a sense of relief, and a bit of satisfaction at that. I bet Alice would be annoyed that she hadn't gotten the chance to take Victoria out herself. I struggled to my feet, whimpering quietly as my body felt weak from being forced to experience such intense lust. I was embarrassingly wet at the apex of my thighs. My knees shook and I had to wonder if it had ever hurt Alice this much.

Which only made it that much more satisfying when Rosalie snapped, "Fucking bitch," before turning and hurling the head out of the trees and into the canyon, Victoria's head blurring red before it disappeared over the edge. "Let's see her come back from that one."

I told you, Vicky, you'd get what was coming to you.

Looks like her games were finally done with, forever. That's what she gets for not actually being on our side.

_Ha_, fire crotch! Should've kept your game going for a little longer, huh?

I glanced up and our eyes met, both our fangs out, our clothes filthy, our hair wild. There were tiny cracks sealing themselves around the bridge of her nose and cheeks from where Victoria had drilled her.

Rosalie swallowed at the sight of me and I suddenly felt awkward. The last time we'd seen each other, we'd beaten the crap out of each other because Rosalie had been enraged that I'd been changed into a vampire.

"You okay?" was all she murmured, cocking an eyebrow at me.

The familiar motion broke me. I jumped forward and threw my arms around her neck (completely forgetting the stress of our situation), startling her. I couldn't stop myself; I was so unbelievably happy that she was okay.

Rosalie was _back_.

I embraced her tightly, breathing in her scent. It was reassuring. More than I'd ever admitted, Rosalie had made me feel safe. We may have had our problems, but she cared about me, and whenever Alice and I had been in trouble, she'd always been there to save us, especially this time.

I missed her. I really, really did.

After a long moment of me hugging her stiff body and her awkwardly patting my back, I had mercy on her and pulled away, releasing her.

Rosalie looked uncharacteristically shy, and I smiled widely at her. She rolled her eyes at me when she noticed me staring, but as she opened her mouth to say something -probably to ask what the hell was going on- a bloodcurdling scream rang out.

My heart leapt to my throat and I was moving before I could even think. The mate connection in me sizzled with terror as I bolted back for the canyon, spilling out of the trees as my stomach fell out of my body in panic.

The sight that met me made the panic increase tenfold.

I saw three dead bodies, heads separated from their bodies littering the clearing. All of Sulpicia's guards were dead; two dismembered by Rosalie (damn, she worked fast) and one with a cleanly snapped neck from Alice. We were more powerful than we'd thought if we could take out four of Sulpicia's high class bodyguards so easily.

Or, Rosalie was.

But that's beside the point.

But that wasn't what caught my eye. It was Alice dangling over the edge of the canyon, held over the devastating drop by her neck and Sulpicia's hand. My mate wriggled, hissed and spat, coughed when Sulpicia squeezed her too tight.

"Not so cocky now, are you, hmm? What a cute little trick you played on me. I'm going to make you _fucking_ regret it," Sulpicia hissed as she held my mate high over the abyss.

"Stop!" I cried, barely able to get the words out as I rapidly lost the ability of speech. Sulpicia was attacking my mate, and my vampiric instincts were making it hard to even think beyond the basest of thoughts.

_Fight. Kill. Protect_.

Sulpicia turned, keeping my kicking mate held away from her body and over the edge of the canyon.

"Well, well, well. Look who has come crawling back. Still feeling smug, Isabella? I highly doubt it," Sulpicia sneered and my heart panged when Alice winced at the grip crushing her throat.

"I bet you thought you'd turned the tables on me. No, it's not that easy, little one," Sulpicia sounded out of breath, and her red eyes were wild. They flashed when Rosalie growled threateningly at her.

Pure terror kept me from speaking, or thinking clearly. All I could do was watch in horror as Alice choked and grasped at Sulpicia's wrist.

There was nothing I could do to help her, save her. I was helpless, unable to do anything to protect my girl.

"You know, I came here looking to settle this peacefully. All I wanted was for you two to come with me without a fight. But then your precious little mate had to go and taunt me. It could have been so simple. Nobody had to get hurt," Sulpicia continued, glaring right at me. "She is too much like Esme; all fight when she should just _submit_ and accept her fate."

"What did you do to her? Where's Esme?" Rosalie demanded, unable to stop the tremor in her voice.

"Safe...For now," Sulpicia replied evasively, giving us a devious smirk which caused Rosalie to growl again.

"If you hurt her..."

"_What_? What will you do? You can't do _anything_. I'm so _sick _of this. I hold what you love more than anything else in the palm of my hand and you _still _defy me!" Sulpicia screamed out, eyes flashing and my muscles pulled taut.

The more agitated she was, the more likely she'd be to hurt Alice. I couldn't stand it. I just wanted Alice back by my side. She dangled by her throat over certain death. Not even a vampire could survive that fall.

"You will learn to submit to me, Isabella, Rosalie. You will _learn_, or you will lose what you love the most. In fact...I think you could benefit by learning the _true _meaning of pain. Now that I think about it, I don't really need Alice all that much...I have other hostages, and her powers are far outmatched by yours..."

Oh God…

No, no, no, no, _NO_!

"Please...Just let her go..." I begged, the fight going out of me at the thought of her hurting Alice as her words certainly seemed to promise.

I realized my mistake instantly. I tried to backpedal, but it was too late.

"...Let her go?" Sulpicia's lips curled upwards in a cruel smile and I heard Rosalie's breath catch next to me. "As you wish..."

Alice's eyes locked on mine. I could see the raw emotion in them, the love, the fear, the resignation.

And then Sulpicia let her go.

I watched my mate drop like a rock over the edge of the canyon, disappearing from my sight.


	33. Dead and Gone

Without thinking, I lunged for the edge of the canyon, my heart pounding wildly, so wildly that it should have been impossible for a vampire. I tried to cry out for Alice, but my throat was painfully tight. All I could do was fall forward on my stomach, throwing up dust and dirt, desperately reaching out for her with both hands as half my body hung over the edge.

But I wasn't fast enough. Our fingertips barely brushed. My eyes pulled downward and I watched her fall.

No moment in my life had ever made my stomach or my chest hurt that much.

I had never, ever felt that kind of pure terror and agony as when I watched my mate dropping like a rock to almost certain death.

"_BELLA_!"

Her cry made my eyes water hard and I wailed, an animalistic noise of pain as her beautiful, angelic voice echoed up to me, laced with fear. Part of me registered the fact that Rosalie had appeared at my side and was echoing my noise, and that Sulpicia was gone, but my eyes were transfixed to Alice's rapid, so rapid descent that I couldn't even notice.

Because what was happening was tearing me apart.

And I knew it was going to happen before it did. I saw the sharp layer of rock jutting out of the canyon wall before she violently slammed into it, back first. My breath exploded out of me. I saw her body rebound and roll through the air as she flipped over the side of the rock, now trailing pieces of white marble chips behind her.

She rolled in the air as my chest heaved, and I dry sobbed loudly when she cracked into another layer of rock only another second down, except this time, it was much, much worse.

At that moment, my world stopped spinning.

I stopped breathing.

I stopped feeling.

My mind quit working as Alice landed awkwardly on the edge of this platform of hard, unforgiving orange rock, head first.

Her neck snapped with an audible crack that rang through the canyon before she tumbled over the edge, lifeless, towards the water.

My heart gave out.

And Alice _died_ as she finally splashed down into the roaring river water, face down before disappearing with a finality that rang in my ears and muddled my brain into its depths.

...I couldn't comprehend. I stared down at the water, unable to breathe, unable to think, or feel, or see.

It hurt.

It hurt so _fucking _much that I can't even begin to find words to do it justice. My soul was _ripped_ out of my body when Alice hit the water. My mind buckled, and I let out this tight little whimper, akin to a puppy being kicked.

Something inside me severed. I felt it, literally felt a connection inside of me snap off. I tried to scream, but I couldn't because my throat was closed completely. All of my muscles burned from being pulled so taut, and I wanted to crawl out of my own skin.

There was no way.

There was no possible way that that really happened.

Alice wasn't dead.

No.

She couldn't be.

Not my Alice...Not my. _Alice_.

She wasn't...

Oh, god fucking damn it, my heart exploded with pain and I threw my head back and howled like a wounded animal. I bellowed, roared and screamed in agony as our connection wilted away.

Alice was dead.

My Alice, my lovely Alice...

She's _dead_.

She's gone.

I wailed again, clutching the edge of the canyon so hard that I felt the rock giving under my fingertips.

But then, somewhere through the haze of pain and horror and hurt and hate, I felt it.

A drop of hope.

The tiniest drop of hope.

It billowed in my chest, and my breath caught in my throat as I felt our connection quiver. I could still _feel_ it.

Alice couldn't be dead. She was. Not. _DEAD_!

I refused to accept it. I loved her so much and I would not accept that she was gone. I could still save her. I could still bring back my Alice. Before I realized what I was doing, I vaulted over the edge of the canyon, hysterically crying out for Alice. I was airborne for only a second when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and yank me back before I was tossed into the ground.

I snarled in anger as my entire body creaked in pain.

"Bella, she's gone. She's _gone_, Bella. Stop!"

It was Rosalie, but I didn't care. I refused to listen to her. She was _wrong_. She _had _to be wrong. I could feel it. Alice wasn't dead. She couldn't be.

She just couldn't be...

As long as there was even a tiny bit of hope, the smallest chance that my lover wasn't gone, I would never accept that she was.

"NO!" I bellowed and tried to run for the edge, but Rosalie's arms wrapped around my middle and we spun with the combined momentum as she pulled me away from the edge of the canyon, preventing my suicide leap to somehow try and save Alice. We crashed back into the earth, and I started when a crack of thunder rolled through the darkening sky.

I could see the clouds boiling in overhead. My chest was tight, so tight. I couldn't stand it. I hated Life so much in that moment. Too pull out this cliché at this moment, to have it rain now...

I couldn't take it.

"She's gone, Bella...She's gone..." Rosalie whispered in my ear as she held me tightly from behind while we lay on the ground.

My chest heaved up and down. I threw my head back and screamed again. I screamed so loud and so long that my throat went raw before I needlessly filled my lungs, opened my mouth and screamed some more.

Rosalie just held me close, rocking us back and forth as I sobbed these horrible, body wracking sobs. I swayed in her arms, shook my head back and forth hysterically, clawed at my face, ripped out my hair, jerked like I was having a seizure as I fell apart...

It hurt. It hurt so, so much. And nothing could soothe the pain. I could feel that small blossom of hope fading away inside me.

There was no way Alice could have survived. Vampires die when their spinal cords are severed, and that hit had to have done it.

Alice was dead.

Alice.

_Gone_.

I came undone at the hinges as the situation crashed down on me in full.

I cried and cried and cried, and I felt Rosalie shaking wildly, but she held onto me because it was all we had. I heard her choking back on her own sobs, and suddenly, waves of anger and bitter, bitter hate claimed me.

I hated Sulpicia more than anything else. I hated her so much that it literally took my breath away. The anger slowly overwhelmed the pain, and I relished it.

It was a balm to my agony; I allowed this furious hatred to claim me, let it soothe the gaping hole in my chest.

"SULPICIA! _SULPICIA_! Where are you, you fucking bitch? I'LL KILL YOU! _I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU_!" I screamed, and I shattered Rosalie's grip on me with a serious display of strength. I jumped to my feet, burning alive from the inside as Rosalie sprawled back on the ground.

The rain had started coming down. It soaked me, but it couldn't put out my fire. The droplets pattered down everywhere, the rhythm maddeningly calming to my desire for chaos and revenge. I rebelled against it, snarling so hard that my throat protested the sound.

I whirled in circles before deciding on a course. I bolted into the trees, intent on finding Sulpicia and ripping. Her. _To pieces_.

I'd _slaughter_ her.

She took Alice from me.

And I would make her pay.

I'd barely gotten halfway through the forest, yelling my lungs out for a woman I subconsciously knew was already gone, probably on a plane to Volterra at this very moment, when Rosalie caught up to me.

"Bella, stop! She's already gone! There's nothing you can do, Bells..." Rosalie's voice was pained and more broken than I'd ever heard it before as she caught my wrist and jerked me to a halt.

It was the wrong move.

I had to hurt something, blame something, anything, anyone.

Rosalie was the only person around.

I turned on her and slammed my fist into the side of her face. The crack did nothing to sate my anger or my pain, and that only pissed me off even more. She dropped to one knee and I hit her again, driving my knee into her jaw with everything I had.

Another crack, and chips of her skin went flying. I snarled as she landed flat on her back. I leapt on top of her and started wildly throwing my fists, hitting her anywhere I could. I mounted her waist and rained down blow after blow, pouring all of my hatred into Rosalie's body.

The rain trickled down through the thick forest canopy as crack after devastating crack rang through the forest.

And Rosalie let me do it.

She just lay there and let me cry, scream, sob and wail as I beat her with everything I had.

"This was _YOUR FAULT_! If you had never kissed me, Alice would _never _have hit you! We wouldn't be in this fucking mess! I wouldn't be a _vampire_! If you had just _BACKED OFF, nothing_ would have gone wrong! Goddamn it! Why did you have to go and attack Sulpicia? None of this would have ever happened if it weren't for YOU! _I HATE YOU_! I fucking hate you so much..."

My assault trailed off as did my unfair accusations. Rosalie stared up at me with her blank, coal colored eyes with a mix of emotions; pity and sympathy and guilt, shame. My fists stopped coming down with force, instead weakly falling into her collarbone so softly that it wouldn't have even hurt a human, almost patting her.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, rocking back and forth on her waist, soaked to the bone and feeling so, so numb. "I'm so sorry, Rose, I'm _sorry_...I'm so sorry..._Alice_, I'm _sorry_..."

My apologies died off into more crying as my eyes burned with unshed tears. Rosalie sat up, face cracked like a map and wrapped her arms around my neck. She pulled me close and I retched, tried to vomit, but I couldn't.

Everything hurt.

Nothing could stop it.

There was no getting around it.

Alice was dead.

Mary Alice Brandon, my lover, my mate, my life.

Was dead.


	34. Raging Rosalie

When my dry heaving, sobbing and crying finally stopped an hour later, and Rosalie's face healed completely as the rain slowed to a sprinkle, I was so numb that I could have been hit by a train and not have felt a thing.

"Bells...We've gotta go..." Rosalie croaked into my hair as I leaned into her, prone and unwilling to move even the tiniest bit. I didn't respond, oblivious to her pain as she continued to hold me close.

The pain left me raw, broken and entirely vulnerable. I had poured out all the emotion I was capable of in a fit of depressed rage, and could no longer feel anything at all. I was an empty shell.

I wasn't me.

I wasn't Isabella Swan.

I was _nothing_.

Rosalie was the only reason I didn't curl up in a little ball on the forest floor and stay there, forever. She hauled me to my feet, but when my knees refused to hold me, she scooped me into her arms and carried me bridal style, walking slowly away from the canyon, away from Alice's watery grave.

Why should I move?

My mate was gone. Everything I'd come to live for was dead, disappeared under white water rapids that had probably already taken her miles and miles from here.

My entire life had come to revolve around Alice. From that first day in detention, not a day had gone by that I hadn't thought about her. I'd barely been separated from her. For almost half a year, it had been nothing but Alice, and the connection we'd forged in eternity.

It was something primal, deep inside our brains, our very souls. We were mates, connected by the very thread of our DNA.

Sulpicia snapped our connection by murdering her.

And now she was gone.

It didn't even hurt now.

I felt nothing, _nothing_. And that was the scariest thing of all.

My head lolled over Rosalie's arms as she carried me on. The sky was grey, and my blackened eyes stared up at it with no emotion.

My entire world was set to Alice. I was not supposed to be Bella. I was supposed to be Bella and Alice. Without her...Who was I? I had never imagined that if she were well and truly gone, that it would affect me so much, but it did. I was dead on the inside without her here with me. I couldn't accept that she was gone, so I just shut down completely.

Without her my sun wouldn't shine, my moon wouldn't glow, my stars wouldn't burn and my world would simply stop moving, trapped in the limbo of empty, black space.

I needed her...So badly...

I was broken.

Rosalie walked for what could have been hours, or minutes, or seconds, or years...Time didn't mean anything to me. Nothing meant anything to me knowing that Alice wasn't here with me, by my side. Rosalie was my savior that day. She walked us to a bank, before laying me down in the hedges surrounding the parking lot (without being caught, of course) as the sky began to darken, this time with the veil of twilight instead of storm clouds.

I didn't know what we were doing here, nor did I care. Rosalie could have walked me off the face of the earth and I wouldn't have batted an eye.

She must have been so strong, I mused as I watched her face, blankly and with no real sympathy for her. I was too busy trying to feel something, anything at all to share in our pain. Her face was wiped smooth of all expression and even damp and dying on the inside, she was still beautiful in the graying light.

Or maybe that was just the color leaving my world along with Alice.

"Don't move, okay, Bella? I'll be right back, just stay here and wait for me," Rosalie murmured, bent over next to me as I lay on the ground, unmoving.

She needn't have worried. I wasn't going anywhere. I couldn't even find the strength to inhale and exhale, despite my reflexive need to do so.

Her eyes filled with water that had nothing to do with her rain-soaked appearance, and I didn't pull away when she put a hand on my cheek, gently brushing it with the backs of her knuckles before she quickly pulled away.

It was the most tender, heartbreaking gesture Rosalie had ever made towards me.

It was too bad I couldn't feel a thing.

"It'll be alright, Bells. It'll be okay," she whispered to me, voice heavy with compassion and pain, before she turned, exited the hedges and strode, soaking wet through the bank parking lot, ignoring the people that gave her bemused looks as she dripped everywhere she went.

You filthy liar, Rosalie. You_ liar_.

Nothing was going to be okay.

How could any of this possibly ever be okay?

I couldn't even smell the scent of the humans' blood, that's how cut off I was to the world.

I had never realized just how powerful the mate connection between vampires was. I wondered mildly if I was the only one to ever feel this pain, this _lack_ of feeling as I lay there on the ground, staring up at the sky.

I knew I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even Victoria.

The only person I thought deserving of this horrible feeling was Sulpicia.

God...I just...

I couldn't even bring myself to put any energy into hating her.

I just couldn't feel when Alice wasn't with me anymore. She couldn't be gone...She just couldn't be...But my thoughts told another story.

Like a mantra, the words played in my head, again and again and again and again...

_Alice is dead. Alice is gone. Alice is dead. Alice is gone. Alice is dead. Alice is gone_.

It had been so sudden. Sulpicia had struck like a snake, lashing out and snatching the one thing that meant more to me than anything else in the world without even blinking an eye. She had just dropped her right off the edge of my world, and let her disappear into nothing as she walked away, utterly satisfied with herself.

It was then that it happened.

My jaw set and locked.

Sulpicia.

Fucking _Sulpicia_.

From day damn one, she'd been controlling everything in my life. I wouldn't doubt that from the day I was born, she'd had a hand in my life, somehow, some way. She'd been pulling my strings and making me dance like a goddamn puppet all my life, using me for her own means.

I had to wonder, I really did, just why she'd inserted herself so deeply into my life. What was it that she could possibly want from me?

And it hit me.

She wanted my _powers_.

A flood of memories assaulted my brain. I remembered things that seemed so long ago considering they were part of my human life but could have been no longer than a month or two ago. I remembered the first day I'd met Victoria –fuckin' fire crotch- and the words Alice spoke to Edward, something about how Aro saw...

Aro had seen deep into Alice's visions with his abilities, and they'd seen me, and most likely the powers I'd obtain as a vampire.

And I'll bet my life (not that it was worth much to me without Alice anyway) that that was set Sulpicia's plan into motion. At first, she'd only wanted to get Alice and used Victoria for her means but when Aro saw me, everything changed. I seriously had to wonder if she'd ever really had to threaten Victoria with Laurent as a hostage to make her join the coven. I highly doubted it. Victoria was a prize herself with her powers, and considering what Laurent had told me back in Italy, I knew Sulpicia would want the most powerful vampires she could acquire if that was truly her desire...

World domination.

Well, shit...

I didn't think Laurent had lied to me. Sulpicia didn't seem to be the type to care if I knew. She must have figured it didn't matter anyway.

Although, I couldn't help but take some sense of satisfaction that we'd ruined at least one part of her plan.

Or rather, Alice had.

My brilliant Alice...

And Sulpicia had taken her from me.

At that moment, I decided I didn't give a fuck about Sulpicia's sick, twisted plans for conquering humans, or any other bullshit she'd come up with in her pathetic excuse for a life.

All I cared about was fucking. Her. _Up_.

I wanted revenge, plain and simple.

Sulpicia had crossed that last line. She'd been playing me and playing me and _playing me_ all my life, guiding me where she wanted me, controlling me, using me as nothing but a pawn on her chess board and I was through with it.

No more.

She wanted to play with fire? I'd set her ablaze.

She took Alice from me, and I'd take her _everything _from her. I would make sure to avenge Alice, no matter what it took, and get that bitch back for taking my life and twisting it how she wanted for her own sick purposes.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't going all Hero Mode, out to save the world or some sappy, cliché crap like that. Quite honestly, the world could go fuck itself. It hadn't ever done anything for me.

The only people who had were my father, Rosalie and Alice.

My newfound desire for revenge saved me from the emptiness. It warmed my numb body, blanketed me in hate so that I wouldn't curl in on myself and die, pathetic and worthless on the cold hard ground. It brought me back to life, and for the first time since I'd watched Alice drop away, I breathed in deeply.

Sharp, cool air filled my lungs and I savored it, curled my hands into fists, tightened them till I felt my skin cracking in protest. I sat up on my haunches and worked my clenched jaw as I rolled my shoulders, getting used to the feeling of moving again.

I felt raw, and very, very dangerous.

Something inside my brain switched off and something else switched on. I felt something change inside me, like I'd lost a part of myself and gained something much, much darker.

I assessed my situation with a cold calculation that I'd never had before. I noted that I needed to feed, quite badly. I knew my eyes had lost their golden shine. I also noted that I felt more powerful than I ever had before. I had nothing to lose, and I'd gained some interesting powers.

Really, what were they exactly?

I knew that if somebody attempted to use their powers against me, I could turn it back on them. I knew that I could protect my mate...Or I could before she was gone...

And once more turn it back on them.

It had certainly seemed to terrify the hell out of Sulpicia. I remembered the look on her face when she realized just exactly what I was capable of. She was right to be frightened. Not only could she not use her powers against me, but if she did, she would be under _my_ control.

And that scared her, really, really scared her. Like, more than rationally acceptable. Sure, it gave me a huge advantage, but when I looked into her eyes, I saw the most primal of fears unlock inside her. She'd backed off and immediately stopped using her powers.

I decided I didn't care about the reason. All I knew was that it was a definite plus for me and a definite minus for her, which was all I cared about.

I mildly wondered if that was the extent of my powers. I hadn't fully explored them, only used them without thinking about it in a desperate attempt to defend myself from my attackers.

Almost as soon as the thought crossed my mind, my head jerked hard to the side and my eyes spun in their sockets. I clenched them shut as the images in my brain swam rapidly before sharpening into focus.

It was a vision.

_Rosalie exited the bank with a fat wad of hundreds in her damp pocket. As she stepped into the parking lot, her foot came down in a puddle and splashed water over her drying pants legs, effectively wetting them again. _

"_Damn it!" she swore, leaping away from the puddle and glaring away the dirty looks people gave her. _

The vision abruptly ended and my breath caught. I quickly peered over the tops of the hedges, and sure enough, a few seconds later, Rosalie walked out of the bank and straight into a puddle, water splashing up onto her calves.

"Damn it!" I heard her cry from across the parking lot and she immediately turned her trademark glare on the people who gave her looks for her swearing.

It was almost enough to make me smile.

Almost.

My brief moment of mirth was ended when I realized just exactly what that meant.

I had _retained _Alice's powers!

This made my eyes water again and I bit my lip to keep from whimpering.

It was like even in death she'd left me as much protection as she could, giving me her powers, leaving a little part of her with me. I treasured it, breathing in deeply to relax the abrupt tightening in my chest as my body instantly attempted to continue grieving where it had left off when I'd shut myself down.

No. No.

I wouldn't feel that pain again. It hurt too much.

I recalled my hatred, let it consume me, fill me up, and the pain stopped, replaced with the desire for revenge.

There.

Much better.

I swallowed hard as Rosalie trotted out of the parking lot, and deciding to see if it had been a fluke, closed my eyes and thought about what she'd do next.

It worked. The vision consumed my thoughts.

_Rosalie left the parking lot, eyes wary of anyone who might be watching her before she doubled back and disappeared into the hedges, rapidly making her way over to me before she placed an unsure hand on my shoulder, breaking my concentration._

I felt a hand on my shoulder and my eyes snapped open as I turned and found Rosalie staring at me with curious eyes.

"Bella?"

"I can see the future," I blurted.

Welp.

So much for subtlety.

I paused as she gave me a weird look, obviously skeptical. She probably hadn't expected to see me up and about, either. I couldn't blame her. Neither had I. I'd thought I was just going to curl up and never move, speak, breathe again.

But my desire to avenge Alice changed all that.

"What?"

"I can see the future," I repeated, ignoring the look as I turned to face her, still crouched down so we stayed hidden. "I have Alice's powers."

Her gaze remained blank and I knew she was questioning my sanity at this point. I rolled my eyes, even if her doubts were founded in a bit of fact. I _had_ been lying unmoving on the ground and hell bent on staying that way forever when she left me, but still. I'm not the type to go nuts with grief. I'm the type that simply folds in on myself to keep from doing just that.

Or now that I think about it, I'm the type that gets mad, and gets hateful.

"I'm serious," I insisted and her eyebrow quirked up in that infuriatingly familiar way.

I sounded like a little kid trying to convince their parents that they really did fly when they jumped off the roof that one time.

"Bella..."

I could hear the pity in her voice and I growled (not like a vampire, but like a frustrated human).

"That's not possible. I think you're just upset and confused right now -and I'm _not_ by the way, I'm not going insane- and you're just missing her. You were also going to say her as opposed to Alice, because you were afraid I'd cause a scene and starting wailing again."

Now, I must say, I felt like a bit of a boss when I pulled that vision out so quickly. I had always thought it would be harder for Alice to simply conjure up a vision, but it wasn't. All I had to do was think about what Rosalie might say, and it came to me on its own.

Although I did give Rosalie a bit of a glare at that last statement.

Even if it were completely plausible to think so.

Damn it...

I was clouding over the fact that Alice was dead and gone, but she was constantly on my mind, and I had to consciously make the effort to push her to the back of my mind or else the desire to grieve would overwhelm the desire to get revenge.

But I wasn't ready to break down again. So I replaced thoughts of Alice with thoughts of killing Sulpicia, and it worked out okay.

Sort of.

Rosalie made a face at me, looking shocked, and opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off again, immediately using my newfound ability (Alice's ability) to say what she was going to.

"How did I know you were going to say that?" This time, I was the one who cocked my eyebrow and Rosalie frowned, once again going to speak but I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"It _is_ possible, Rosalie. I've got powers and I've used them before. I can turn people's abilities back on them, and apparently, I can keep my mate's," I said, and Rosalie turned her signature glare on me, making me squirm a bit.

Yep.

She's still scary as fuck when she wants to be.

Damn.

I'd thought I was past the whole Rosalie-scares-the-shit-out-of-me phase, but apparently not.

"Just because you _can_ figure out what I'm going to say before I say it doesn't mean you _should_," she snapped and I nodded, pursing my lips guiltily.

Definitely going to remember not to interrupt her from now on. Her eyes still bore holes in me, even after all that had happened. She'd gone from being gentle, caring Rosalie to her old self in about five seconds flat, which, I suppose, is comforting in a way.

But at least I'd convinced her.

"So you can turn people's powers on them?" Her glare softened and her face became curious.

"Yep."

"And you've actually kept Alice's powers?"

Despite my earlier annoyance at having her treat me like a basket case, at Alice's name, I flinched. I couldn't help it. When someone said her name, I couldn't stop the flood of bitter hurt that overwhelmed me.

Yet again, I soothed it with the hatred.

Rosalie caught the flinch and she worked her jaw a bit, as if she was regretting saying Alice's name, but I pretended like it hadn't happened.

"Yeah. I knew you were going to step into the puddle, and how you were going to double back and put your hand on my shoulder when you found me," I replied and she gave me another dirty look.

"Thanks for warning me," she muttered and this time, I couldn't stop the grin on my face.

"What, you wanted me to yell across the parking lot to you? Pop out of the hedges like a groundhog?" I smirked and I saw the corners of her lips turn up slightly, her eyes sparkling.

We shared this moment, but only briefly before both of our smiles wiped away. It felt wrong to feel any happy sort of emotion when Alice wasn't here to share it with us.

"Is her power the only one you've kept?"

Rosalie's question caught me off guard and I hesitated.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it. I was just thinking about how I was going to get that bitch Sulpicia back..." I trailed off when Rosalie's face tightened.

I expected her to be worried that revenge was the only thing I was capable of thinking of (and it was), and that she'd try to convince me on another course of action, but she didn't.

"And?"

"And what?" I furrowed my brow at her.

"What did you come up with?" Rosalie's eyes had this fire in them, that familiar fire that they only took on when she was angry, or upset.

I realized what she meant, and how she was feeling. I locked my jaw and made sure she knew just how much I meant it.

"That I'm going to fucking rip her apart, bit by bit. And I'm going to make sure it _hurts_," I growled through gritted teeth, feeling my chest burn with hate as I spoke.

I meant every word. I had turned into a cold blooded murderer. I felt nothing anymore. The thought of killing someone else brought no disgust to my mind. I didn't care about the guard I'd killed, or who she may have been as a person.

She'd allied herself with Sulpicia, and in my books, that made her worth killing, and anyone else that took Sulpicia's side could get it, too.

Rosalie only nodded, once, mildly surprising me. But I remembered that she'd loved Alice, too, and probably wanted revenge almost as much as I did.

I was suddenly thankful that Rosalie was an eye for an eye kind of girl.

Or a life for a life kind of girl, in my books.

"Right. And you found out about your powers. Do you think it's possible you could have kept any other powers? I know Jane tried to use hers on you," Rosalie continued as we put the moment of understanding behind us.

"I guess it's possible...But there's no way I'm going to try them out on anyone," I shrugged and Rosalie nodded again.

"Yeah, definitely only attempt that on someone you don't like. That shit hurts," she muttered, shifting onto her haunches as she recalled the pain that creepy little girl had inflicted on her.

Seriously glad I'd managed to avoid having to endure that. I'd never heard Rosalie scream like that or seen her in that much pain, nor did I want to ever see it again.

Although, if I was honest with myself, losing Alice probably hurt a lot worse.

"Anyone else whose powers you may have gained?" Rosalie inquired. I stopped to think about it.

Yes. There was one other person. The thought of using it made me physically cringe.

"There's no way in hell I'm using _her_ power," I spat. I knew Rosalie knew who I was talking about. There was no other person who merely the thought of could bring so much venom to my mouth. She didn't seem to agree with me, though.

"Bella..."

"No. I don't care how much of an advantage it would give me. I refuse to use any part of that sick bitch. When I kill her, I'm going to do it using myself. I _won't_ turn into her, in any way, shape, or form. And Al...Alice wouldn't want me to use that kind of power. She...She wouldn't have agreed with it..."

I swallowed hard and had to close my eyes and take a deep breath to avoid letting out a sob that threatened to break free of my chest.

Rosalie didn't push the matter, and she quickly moved on.

"What about mine?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I croaked, impatiently waiting for the burning in my eyes to go away.

"I mean, what about my powers? Do you think you could have kept them? We fought before everything went to shit. Maybe you kept mine," Rosalie theorized and I, once again, shrugged.

"It's not like I can currently test it. I might have, I might not have."

Rosalie eyed me and my rapid mood swings. I'd gone from lifeless, to angry, to depressed, to indifferent in the short time that she'd been away and come back. She looked like she was going to say something, but changed it when it came out of her mouth.

"Bella, listen to me, and listen closely. If you've kept my powers, you have to know that you're a danger not just to your enemies, but to yourself and everyone around you when you use them. If it turns out that you have, when you look at Sulpicia, they're going to come out whether you want them to or not. You don't really get a say when it comes to my abilities. Your temper will flare higher than it ever has before, and you're going to see red, literally. You won't be able to think, only attack, and you'll be ridiculously powerful," Rosalie explained, her eyes darkening as she went on.

I wasn't sure why she was telling me this, but she wasn't done talking.

"So if it turns out that you have, you need to exercise extreme self control. You could hurt a lot of people, Bella. I'm serious."

Rosalie's expression was set as she glared into my eyes, making me shift uncomfortably.

"Okay. I get it," I murmured and she shook her head.

"No. You don't. And you won't until you feel it. That power is more of a curse than it is a blessing," Rosalie scowled. "In fact, I hope you _don't_ have it."

"I hope I do. I want to _hurt_ Sulpicia, Rose, so badly-"

"I know that, and that's why it scares me, Bella. If you have my power, you'll stop thinking of hurting just Sulpicia. You'll just want to hurt and kill anything that moves, whether they're friend or foe. It's not just simple anger, Bella. It's like your Fight or Flight instinct set permanently to _Fight_. It's a survival mechanism, not an offensive ability," Rosalie said vehemently and I pressed my lips into a thin line. "I've had over a hundred _years_ to perfect my control and I still can't even control it completely. I _still _lose it sometimes. There's no telling what an angry newborn that's just lost her mate like you could do with that kind of power."

We stared each other down, me obviously wanting to press the issue and her daring me to do so. She won, of course, because she's still Raging Rosalie and I'm still Bella Swan, at least in some kind of way. I sighed before turning my head away, running my hand through my damp hair unhappily.

When it came right down to it, I didn't even listen to what she was saying to me. If there was anything at all that could help me put Sulpicia in her place, I wanted it, whether it was dangerous or not.

"How did you get all that money?" I abruptly changed the subject so she wouldn't notice my complete lack of concern.

Nothing got past her though. Rosalie's black eyes pierced me, and I refused to meet her gaze.

Maybe, subconsciously in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn't acting right. I knew my mood swings weren't healthy, and an obvious defense mechanism to losing Alice...

But I didn't care, so I pretended like I was acting perfectly normal, even going so far as to lie to myself and say it was okay to be this way.

Heartless. Cold.

Not me.

"We're rich, in case you hadn't noticed. Have you seen our house?" Rosalie's smirk made me chuckle softly.

"Yeah, I forgot about that. Why did you get so much anyway?" I asked as her smirk faded.

"Several reasons. One: So I can buy us new clothes before we go hunting because these will definitely be ruined afterwards. Two: So I can check us into a motel so we can shower and rest up, and you can fill me in on everything I've missed. And three: so we can afford the trip back to Italy," Rosalie responded in a matter of fact tone of voice.

Made sense. I nodded my head, and at her mention of the word hunting, my throat started to burn. I hadn't fed since we'd left Italy, and I was really starting to feel the effects of it. The scent of the humans was definitely permeating my senses now and Rosalie noticed me becoming agitated.

"Come on. Let's get the hell out of these hedges and get moving. I want to know where my family is, and what happened after that cunt got her hands on my neck. I walked you through another forest a mile or two back and it was pretty full of wildlife, but I don't think you noticed," Rosalie said as she began crouch walking us out of the hedges.

No, I hadn't noticed anything on our trip here. All I'd noticed was that Rosalie periodically sprinted with me, and trotted, and walked me through somewhat familiar landscapes that I couldn't pay any attention to because I'd been too numb to think at all.

Although, I had forgotten that Rosalie didn't know everything I did. She didn't know about Laurent, or how her brothers were probably in some shit at this point, or that her adoptive parents were taken prisoner by Sulpicia.

Despite everything, I didn't fancy telling Rosalie about those teensy weensy little details.

Hey, I may have been feeling pretty invincible with nothing left to lose along with bitter hatred claiming my whole being and some new badass powers but...

Rosalie's still Rosalie, and come rain, sleet, snow, hell and high water...

She will always scare the hell out of me.

It was kind of a comforting thought, actually. She was the only consistent thing in my life.


	35. Without a Paddle

Rosalie ended up walking me back to a forest a few miles away, where she turned me loose after sizing me up for a solid minute and a half, trying to decide if she could leave me to go and take care of business. She must've decided that I wasn't too off my rocker, and eventually she gave me a nod before she turned and began walking away.

"I'll be back in about an hour. Feed well. We've got shit to take care of," she called over her shoulder, and I watched her till she disappeared.

Yeah. We definitely had some shit to take care of.

I sighed, ran my hands through my hair, pushing the damp strands away from my face. It was harder not to think about Alice when Rosalie wasn't here distracting me.

So I did what I'd discovered was best for my sanity when your mate was lying at the bottom of a riverbed.

I tilted my head back, inhaled sharply, and immediately caught the scent of warm, fresh animal blood. The forest teemed with life. Instinct took over, and my pupils dilated. One particular scent caught my fancy.

It was a deer, most likely a strong, male buck.

I bolted into the forest, and discovered hunting instincts work even more at blocking my distress than the desire for revenge. All I cared about was my prey, the kill. In that mode, Alice couldn't exist to me, because the thirst blocked any other thought out.

It was heaven.

I went on a killing spree. I slaughtered four deer, a rabbit (completely unsatisfying, rabbits) and a chipmunk, just because its chattering annoyed me.

By the time Rosalie found me, I was sitting in a clearing with my head back against a tree, covered in blood and feeling sated, uncaring for the animals I'd slaughtered, unlike my first hunt. They were just creatures now. They weren't my Alice, so they could die for all I cared.

I think that's the moment when I realized how much I'd truly changed.

I was _heartless_.

And I didn't even care.

It was a testament to just how deep the connection of vampire mates ran. I never even got a chance to really ask Carlisle how it all worked…Was Carlisle even _alive _at this point?

Rosalie hesitated when she saw me, but to her credit, didn't comment on my expressionless face.

"You're a messier eater than I thought. Come on, get up, Swan. We're wasting time. Let's get you cleaned up," Rosalie said, and I lethargically lifted up off the ground.

I felt a little better now that I'd hunted. I was refreshed, and I felt strength returning to my muscles. I was calmer than I had been a little while ago, but with the lack of my hunting instincts, thoughts of Alice returned with a vengeance.

I reverted back to using my hatred for Sulpicia to stop the waves of pain that flooded me. I knew the longer it took for me to move, the longer it would take for me to be able to take my revenge.

"Follow me. There's a river a quarter of a mile away where you need to clean up. I'm taking you to a motel, and we're going to rest for a few hours. I can barely stand even a day not doing anything or knowing. But I know you're going through a lot right now, so I'm going to give you some time. And then you're going to tell me what the hell happened and we're going to _fix it_, okay?"

Yeeeah, definitely not excited to tell Rosalie everything that she's missing. Something tells me she's not going to take it too well…

Note to self: Never tell Rosalie anything ever again.

Why?

Oh, no reason.

We're just now face down in a prison cell in the Volturi palace with no possible means of escape or saving her siblings.

Okay, let me roll back a little and explain. After I had cleaned up and we'd gone to a motel, Rosalie had let me rest for a day and a half; if you can call tossing and turning restlessly and mindlessly envisioning Sulpicia's death over and over rest.

That day and a half practically killed me, but I knew if I was going to be of any use I had to regain my strength. Rosalie was as stoic as could be, but I knew the not knowing was killing her. I saw her watching me off and on in our little room, as if debating whether or not to ask yet. She treated me like a timed bomb about to go off, and in a way, all cooped up in that place, I felt like one.

But I wasn't ready to let it all out yet. I wasn't ready to rehash all the painful details.

We returned to the airport after a horrible, long day of resting as Rose called it and caught the next plane to Italy after luckily waiting for only an hour. We were sitting in first class (the Cullens are very wealthy, clearly) and only then did I find the courage to tell Rosalie everything she had missed.

And telling her all that, by the way, was really hard to do. Rosalie is still scary as all fuck and I'd barely even begun when she decided to put her scary face on.

I just had to keep rolling with it, because I'm sure curling up in a little ball under my seat would not have done anything for my stress levels.

I began to recount everything to Rosalie, everything from the moment Sulpicia broke her neck to when she woke up in Phoenix. I told her about how we'd run into the werewolves, how we'd met the fake Memento Mori and how we'd been duped into believing Victoria, how Laurent had betrayed us and how her siblings were probably now in some dark corner of the world being tortured to death.

After I finished, we sat in silence. I could feel Rosalie seething next to me while I swallowed and sighed in frustration.

Now I could only wait.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Swan?" she had snarled out of nowhere before whipping her head towards me to glare into my soul.

There it is.

I didn't answer. I _had_ no answer. There were so many things wrong with me at that point that I had no way to respond.

"Alice never would have fallen for that crap if it weren't for you! How can you be so stupid? _GOD_!"

I knew that. I had known that all along. But to have her say it out loud just made it hurt so much more. I could do nothing but sit there and let her vent what little of her rage she could vent on a plane flying over the world, as terrible as it made me feel. But she had every right to scream at me. She finally went quiet as the rest of the plane watched us warily and the hostess cowered in the corner after having attempted to calm Rosalie down and gotten her head bitten off for her efforts.

When we touched down after a painfully long and silent flight, Rosalie took off so fast I almost lost her. I had to bolt to keep up with her, bellowing at her to slow down, calm down, we need a plan!

Pfft, as if.

We didn't stop running. I thought being a vampire meant you could never get tired, but running _all the way_ to that forest in front of Volterra could still take something out of you. Rosalie finally stopped, eyes blazing, inches from the tree line that was only _feet_ away from the entrance to Volterra.

To say we were in a bad place was an understatement. Not to mention we had _no plan_.

Yeah, well, my fault I suppose. I guess I could have left some things out until we got here. Should've seen that coming. (And no, it had not occurred to me that I still had Alice's powers and actually could have seen that coming. Genius, Bella, pure genius.)

And how in all the hell did she even find this place again so easily? We must have been running for at least an hour just to get here…

"Will you chill out!" I yelled at her, reflexively panting even though I didn't need to breathe. "Seriously, I know this is terrible but dude, we're in the middle of Volturi territory and who knows where the wolves are!"

"Shut up. Which way is their camp from here?" Rosalie snapped, fists clenched up, everything about her posture screaming that she was ready for a fight.

Oh, she didn't stop because she was tired; she stopped because she didn't know which way to go from there. Lucky, huh?

"Rose, we cannot just barge in there! We shouldn't even be here right now!" I hissed, looking around warily, feeling as if the eyes of the whole world were on me.

"Well, too bad! We are, and I want answers! I want my _family_ back! And since most of this is your fault anyway, Swan, you better start thinking!" she shouted at me, taking a threatening step forward.

I growled in warning, and like Simba in the first Lion King, my little kitten growl was overshadowed by a thunderous roar.

Too bad it wasn't Mufasa overshadowing me.

For a brief moment, I actually felt a little proud of myself (stupidly) before I realized what that sound really meant and my nostrils were filled with a horrid stench. I whirled and came face to face with a salivating werewolf on all fours, his upper lip curled back and still standing taller than me even hunched over.

I may, _may_ have squealed like a little girl.

I'm not giving any definitive comment on that though.

"Shit-" Rosalie swore as I yelped and leapt backward before hissing furiously, crouching down and ready to fight this big motherfucker, come what may.

But Jesus they were terrifying. Werewolves are not these fantasy beautiful creatures society has somehow morphed them into. They are true to myth huge, ugly, angry _beasts_. I'm talking Underworld lycans and shit, like, eat your face off with no warning _wolves_, not some oversized _dog_.

The wolf didn't move, just stood five feet away, way too close comfort, shaking a little and rumbling from way in the back of his throat. I definitely wasn't going to make the first move, and there was no telling what Rosalie was going to do so I just waited on tiptoe for something to happen.

I just wasn't expecting what happened to happen.

The wolf stared directly into my eyes, making my instincts flare. I snapped my fangs at him, hissing nervously. But then I stopped; it was _him_! That one that spared my life! It was amazing how I'd forgotten so easily! This big guy had deliberately kept from taking my head off (even though he'd practically taken my boob instead…).

He had those same smoldering brown eyes that I remembered, and only one word came to mind, a name.

"Jake…?" I breathed, straightening without meaning to.

In my eyes, the werewolf seemed to implode. He whipped back onto two feet and Rosalie snarled threateningly but I just watched in awe as all that fur melted away and tan skin came into view, doggy legs snapped into human form and the monster shrank into a shirtless six foot tall Native American looking guy who I'd once called my best friend.

Jacob Black stood before me, a weak but charming grin on his face.

"Hullo, Bella," he greeted and tipped his head towards me, grimacing a bit at what I was sure was my scent.

"No way!" I gushed, going from vampire to startled teenager in a split second. He had changed so much from that tall lanky boy to a ripped guy; and his ponytail was gone to, replaced by functional short black hair.

It seemed like he'd come straight out of my past. I hadn't thought of Jacob since my Freshman year when he'd up and dropped me as a friend. It had hurt, and I hadn't understood why. He had also disappeared off of the radar, never leaving La Push, the native territory in Forks, and as far as I knew he had transferred schools.

"What the fuck?" Rosalie gave me and Jake a bewildered look.

"Jake! Holy shit, you're a werewolf? I _knew_ it was you!" I cried. "_How_?"

I took a step forward before stopping myself and gagging weakly at his smell as he tensed and rumbled in warning. Out of everybody in the entire world, it was really _Jake_?

No _way_!

"Don't-" he grunted, covering his nose as I covered mine. "Dude, you _reek_," he added and I scowled.

"Like you don't!" I huffed back, before we both grinned.

We stared at each other for a moment, taking one another in. As long as it had been since we'd been friends, I still cared about him.

"Bella," Jake finally said. "You're in a huge mess, aren't you?"

Nope. Not at all, bro.

"Yeah, no shit," I mumbled, making sure to keep my distance, because as stunned as I was, happily so because yes I'd missed this guy after we'd parted ways for whatever his reasons in Forks, he still put me on edge as every werewolf did.

Why was he a freaking _werewolf_? _Jacob Black_ of all people? My mind reeled, torn between joy and astonishment at his appearance.

Seriously, what the hell.

"What is happening?" Rosalie gawked, throwing up her hands. "Are you-do you _know_ this kid?"

Jake growled at her and I waved Rosalie off, which only made her growl at _me_.

"What are you _doing _here?" I asked helplessly, not comprehending how Jacob freaking Black was here right then. "And you're a werewolf? _How_? What's happening, Jake? Not that I'm not happy to see you-"

Jake suddenly stiffened, cocking his head to the side as if listening intently for something, before shaking it off and turning back to me.

"Look, Bella, I'm _not_ happy to see you. I can't believe-I couldn't believe it when I'd heard it, that you'd been turned into a _vampire- _a _leech_. This is bad, Bella. You never knew why I had to stop being your friend that year. I told you I couldn't tell you, right?"

I nodded dumbly, a little hurt that he wasn't as happy to see me as I was to see him.

"Well it was because I was going through the change, and I couldn't be around you because I didn't want to hurt you. But when I finally stabilized, you were hanging with _them_-" Here, he threw a vicious look towards Rose and was met with one as equally scalding. "-And I can't be around them. I _won't_. They're vampires, and vampires and werewolves can't mix, Bella. I hated it, I still do. I lost my best friend to them, but I figured if you were happy then I could deal but now-"

Jake's skin seemed to ripple for a second before he breathed in deeply to calm himself, as if fighting the change.

Wow. I never would have guessed that that was the reason he stopped talking to me. I guess it all made sense though…And thank God he was the werewolf that happened to latch on to Alice's Mercedes that day, because if it hadn't have been him, I probably wouldn't even be alive anymore.

I wondered mildly if he had gone through some of the same bullshit I had when he'd learned of werewolves and been changed into one. I both hoped there was someone out there like me, and didn't.

Because the Jake I knew didn't deserve any of that crap.

"They _bit_ you. They broke the treaty. They're going to get you _killed_!" He yelled this at Rosalie who hissed back at him.

"Shut the fuck up, puppy. You're in way over your head. It's not like we wanted to!" she replied angrily.

"Jake-" I tried but he whipped his head around to the left, inhaling sharply.

"Bella, I don't have any time- You need to _leave_, now! I'm not supposed to be here! Get out of here, _GO_!"

Jake exploded upward into his wolf form as soon as the last word left his mouth as the ground shook and two massive wolves came sailing out of the trees to his left. To my surprise, they slammed into _him_ and he let out a high pitched yelp as they went careening backwards together, all snapping jaws and snarls.

"JAKE!" I cried, terrified for him.

But damn, was he good.

He slapped one away like a fly and sank his teeth into throat of another, throwing them both away before he turned to us and roared an ungodly roar.

I could read what he was trying to say in his eyes. He was screaming at us to _run_.

Too late.

"Bella, move!" Rosalie cried and yanked me out of the way as four more infuriated wolves came tearing out of the forest behind us, swinging their massive paws at us and trying to bite our heads off.

Rosalie and I slammed into the wrought iron gates of Volterra and ended up breaking through them despite the fact that they were locked.

"Run, Bella! _Run_!" Rosalie screamed in my ear. I had never heard Rosalie call for a retreat in my entire life. She met every foe head on with no fear, but I could hear panic in her voice this time.

I understood why as I staggered upright to see not only the four wolves who had missed us coming after us again, but heard more in the distance as more of their pack bounded out of the woods, howling for blood.

The sound sent my hackles flying up and I felt every muscle inside me shriek with the Fight or Flight instinct and there was no question that they were saying _Flight_.

I bolted for the city streets. It was broad daylight and the sun beat down on my sensitive skin. It was uncomfortable, but the sensation of being chased by werewolves trying to eat me was a _little_ more uncomfortable, so I dealt with it.

I knew Rosalie was with me, so I didn't worry about her. I could hear the pack yipping and barking and snarling behind us, presumably ordering each other after us. I darted down the pavement, and with a building sense of dread, realized we were entering the populated part of the city.

For some reason, everyone was dressed in red. It made me dizzy, and I fought the flash of hunger that pained me at the scent of so much human blood. It wasn't hard considering I was absolutely terrified, but there were _so _many people out today and they all stopped, awestruck at the parade of mythical creatures running by. It was like they were all going to a festival or something.

Not a good day to go see the carnival, boys and girls.

We ended up trapped between two buildings and sprinting down an alley that had only one opening; straight into the sea of red humans. Well, shit, what could we do? These people were going to get crushed by this freakish stampede!

"Don't stop! Don't hit anyone! Go, Bella, go!" Rosalie screamed, only a step behind me. I could smell the wolves, right on our asses. My stomach churned, my heart seemed to pound, and I felt that I was human again in that moment.

"Fuck fuck _fuck this shit_!" I yelped as we dipped out of the alley and immediately began darting between the humans, dodging, spinning, whirling and tossing them as gently as we could out of our way.

What was that whole no-revealing-one's-self-to-humans rule?

Yep, totally broke that. And the wolves gave absolutely no fucks about rip roaring after us in plain sight, though I'm sure they were a bit more…Shocking, than us. Still, they seemed reluctant to hurt anyone, thankfully.

I was doing motherfucking pirouettes to avoid harming innocent people. Rosalie was a bit more graceful than me and it seemed easier for her to stay moving than my halting, staggering movements.

Ah, bite me grace.

The humans screamed in horror and started getting out of our way as we ran, which helped. It was harder for the wolves to keep up, but unbelievably, this big black one leaped right over everybody and shook the ground when he landed right behind us. He was _keeping up_, and he was right behind me, panting his nasty breath onto the back of my neck and snapping his teeth at me and _Jesus Christ_, I wanted to cry out but I couldn't.

Up ahead, there was a break in the crowd. Through it, I saw an opening. Two large mahogany doors leading into a massive building were open, and someone stood there, waving at us furiously.

I didn't know who they were or why they were trying to flag me down, but they were keeping their doors open just enough to let us through and no wolves. Those doors looked sturdy and I figured they could keep the wolves held back long enough for us to disappear into the depths of the huge building they led into.

"You've _got _to be kidding me!" Rosalie cried as we made a break for it, putting on an extra burst of speed to get ahead of good old Fido on our backs.

I didn't know what her deal was, because that place ahead of me was like the gates of heaven in my eyes and hell was at our heels.

Somehow, we made it. We dove inside, ignoring the wails of the humans and the roaring of the wolves as the guy who'd been waving us down slammed the door shut behind us. There was an almighty thud as we skidded to a stop inside and the wolf crashed into the door with a comical yelp that wasn't actually funny considering the circumstances.

It was dark inside the place we'd entered, gloomy and lit by torch light. But it could do nothing to stop the relief and elation that flooded me. I turned back to that door, my veins pumping with whatever vampires have for adrenaline.

"_What_, bitch! Let's fucking go!" I crowed, feeling like a boss for out running those bastards.

I am _such _a loser sometimes.

"Big bad wolf can't blow down this place! _Woo_!"

Before I could even begin to calm down, I heard several claps of thunder and whirled on my heel to see Rosalie going down in a wave of diamond armored warriors.

Aaand that's what I get for being stupid.

I couldn't move I was so stunned. We'd jumped out of the pot of boiling water and into the fire.

Just our freaking luck.

As I tried to leap back into action, another clap of thunder rang out right in the back of my skull and I dropped to my knees, swearing under my breath.

So this is why Rose had freaked out earlier.

A line of those weird armored guards moved towards me and I weakly stared up at them, growling weakly as they smirked and the guy who had waved us down put an arm around my neck to keep me under control.

We had run right into the arms of the Volturi.

Fuck my life.

And now here we are, being tossed into a dimly lit cell that smells of mildew and rust and both of us growling our heads off like it's going to do any good. I rolled over and tried to go for the guard shutting the barred door, but it was too late and I just bounced off of it like an idiot.

"Damn it! Come back here, asshole! Fight me like a real man! Or vampire-_whatever_!" I yelled after him, clutching at the glittering bars in front of me, made of the same material as their armor.

What even is this stuff, for real? I couldn't break it as I kicked at it, huffing in frustration.

"This _sucks_!" I shouted, clutching at my hair as I whirled back around, unbelievably infuriated. How could we have made matters even worse than before? It shouldn't have been possible! "Goddamn it, Rosalie, why didn't you just _listen_ to me-"

I stopped. Rosalie wasn't paying me any attention, but instead was staring into the dark corner of the cell, statue still. There was a figure in the shadows and I tensed as she slowly, ever so slowly, moved into the weak torch light.

I gasped.

"Esme?"


	36. Reunited

"_Rosalie_," came the reply, soft and in that maternal tone I'd grown to love. It was _Esme_, unbelievably. I was shocked into immobility. "You're _here_."

My eyes were probably falling out of my face as far as I knew.

It was _Esme_?

I realized then that Esme hadn't seen her adoptive daughter since she'd thought Sulpicia had killed her.

"_Mother_," Rosalie whispered breathlessly as the motherly vampire's eyes shined and without warning they both lunged for each other, hugging fiercely.

I beamed despite myself as they gasped and clung to each other, Esme giving a little sob. I'd never heard Rosalie refer to Esme as anything other than her name, and it made me grin to see her showing her softer side at being reunited with her adoptive mother.

"_How?_ Am I dead? Am I dreaming? You're _here_, my beautiful girl!" Esme breathed, running her hands through Rosalie's pretty golden locks, almost reverently. "You're _here_," she repeated in disbelief.

Rosalie just held her tightly, and after a good long embrace that lightened my heart, if just a little, they pulled back.

I couldn't help myself. We'd found Esme, and she looked so overwhelmed and confused and delighted (just like I'm sure I did) that I just had to do it. I let out a cry of delight and astonishment that was mirrored by Rosalie. We both dove for the familiar woman and she laughed her pretty laugh as we both hugged her again, together this time.

Of all the cells we'd been thrown into, we'd been thrown into _Esme's_. I knew it had to have been intentional, because there was no way Sulpicia would ever have willingly put us back together without a reason. I didn't even care. Esme was alive, and breathing-well, not really, but…

You get the point.

I also had no doubt in my mind that that bitch knew we were here. She'd probably orchestrated this in some underhanded magical way with her super manipulative powers.

Fucking whore. Whatever, at least we'd reunited with Esme. And I had no words to express how thankful I was for it, no matter Sulpicia's reasoning.

Esme was alive. At least one thing had gone right that day.

I'd missed her, so much, more than I'd realized with Alice's death fogging up everything else in my life.

Oh god. Esme didn't know. She didn't know that her daughter, her little Lullaby was _dead_.

How could we possibly break that to her?

I knew that I couldn't do it. I couldn't say it; it would kill me all over again to have to tell her. I wasn't sure if this thought had occurred yet to Rosalie, but if she never thought of it I would just have to _tell_ Rosalie to do it.

Because I refused to say it aloud. I just…No. She'd just gotten one daughter back; I couldn't stand to tell her she'd lost another.

Not my Alice…

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you alive, Esme," Rosalie murmured, relief evident in her voice as we broke the group hug and backed up on our haunches as opposed to sitting on the mossy looking cobblestone floor.

Yes, I am a vampire. No, that does not mean I have to enjoy sitting in a bed of damp green fungus.

Is moss even a fungus? Or is it just a plant? Either way, it's gross, and the Volturi made the right choice leaving it in if they're trying to gross out their prisoners.

Esme let out another laugh, running her hands through her messy hair.

"How happy you are to see _me_? I thought you were _dead_, Rosalie. How are you alive? Bella, sweetheart," Esme replied, putting a hand on my shoulder and giving me a watery smile, just to let me know that she was happy to see me too but that she was desperately trying to get over the shock of seeing her adopted daughter come back to life.

Now that I could see her better, she looked a lot more haggard than I'd realized. Esme's hair was knotted up instead of her usual silky smooth auburn and for a vampire, she looked especially tired and worn out. Her eyes were blacker than the darkness she'd been sitting in.

If it was possible for a vampire to look starved, she looked it.

It made my heart ache, and I had to wonder what terrible things she might have been through while we were gone. I could only hope it was nothing too bad. Still, I couldn't imagine Sulpicia giving into Esme's dietary demands, nor could I see Esme slaughtering an innocent human just to feed.

"Bella can explain it better than I can," Rosalie responded, waving her hand at me as Esme put a hand on her shoulder too and squeezed tightly, looking for the answers in the blonde's eyes. Esme turned to me, her expression curious and guarded somehow at the same time. I took a deep breath.

"Sulpicia's really, really good at making people think someone's dead when they're not," I said slowly and Esme's eyebrow arched up as if to say 'Oh really? I hadn't noticed.' "When she-when she broke Rosalie's neck, she didn't really sever her spinal cord from her brain, Esme."

I tried to say it as gently as possible, but it was kinda hard to do that. It sounded pretty gruesome out loud, actually. Esme winced but nodded for me to continue, gripping my shoulder a little tighter and I saw her throw a glance to Rosalie who held her hand encouragingly.

"She just paralyzed her, somehow. But she got us, Esme. She really got us with that one," I scowled, frustrated all over again that she'd managed to trick us so easily.

But really, when did Sulpicia not get us?

"Yeah, no shit," Esme muttered, shaking her head and despite the circumstances, I was still surprised to hear her curse. She breathed in deeply, as if trying to process everything. "I should have known. She used to do that trick all the time. I just couldn't think of that when I saw Rose-God, it just looks so _real_. She's gotten even better at it over time."

To her credit, she took it all in stride. I always knew Esme was a bit of a boss. But what did she mean Sulpicia had gotten better at it over time? It reoccurred to me that Sulpicia and Esme had a bit of a past together. Now more than ever I was burning with curiosity to know exactly what that past contained. I had just opened my mouth to ask, but she turned back to Rosalie and smiled again, a true one this time.

Oh well. I could always ask her later…Hopefully.

"As long as you're okay, my little Rose, I can breathe a little easier," she chuckled weakly and Rosalie nodded.

"But why? Why in the world are you two here? I didn't expect two ghosts to appear in my humble abode," Esme easily changed the subject, as she sarcastically motioned to our ten foot wide prison cell, apparently overcoming her shock and getting back to business. "You all were supposed to leave and never come back."

I rolled my eyes though. If she wanted an explanation for _that_, she'd have to ask Rosalie.

We both shared a look, me glaring at Rosalie and the blonde scowling back at me.

"Tell me you two didn't come here to save me or something stupid like that, because if you did, I'm going to be very angry with you both," Esme sighed softly, interrupting our little stare off and eyeing us both with that maternal look of concern that said You're-idiots-but-I-love-you-anyway.

She didn't know the half of it.

"Of course we did!" Rosalie huffed back. "Like we would just _leave_ you here."

"That's exactly what you should have done!" Esme snapped back, sitting back and giving Rosalie an anguished look. "You two really came back here? Why would you _do_ that? Why can't you two think anything through? And with Isabella dealing with her newborn immaturity and impulsive instincts, you, Rosalie, should have been the one to be thinking clearly."

_Exactly_!

Wait, did she just call me immature?

I wasn't immature, was I?

"I'm not immature," I protested but deep down, I knew it was probably true.

Since when had I ever been mature, honestly? Maybe at some points, but I know it had never really been one of my strong suits. And if anything, being a newborn vampire with virtually uncontrollable instincts only made it that much worse. I wasn't incessantly stupidly mature, though, but I knew I tended to be an angsty brat at times but really, what teenager isn't?

But like a true teenager, it still stings to be called that.

Rosalie snorted and muttered "Immature is an understatement." I glared at her again. Who was she to talk anyway, bull rushing us right back into this hellhole?

Esme gave me a pitying smile. "It's not your fault, Bella. It's just part of being a newborn vampire. You'll grow out of it, with Alice's help. Where is she anyway? And where are the boys?" she said, turning back to Rosalie.

My useless breath caught in my throat.

I should have known that would be addressed sooner rather than later, but it still _hurt_, badly.

Rosalie's face sealed off and I had to turn away from Esme quickly to keep her from seeing my eyes swimming in tears I couldn't shed.

"What?" Esme frowned, immediately sensing our agitation. "Tell me what's happened," she stated, a note of anxiety and anger entering her voice at the thought of her other children being in peril.

I couldn't speak, but Rosalie saved me the trouble, thankfully. She started talking, grabbing Esme's attention as I tried to keep it together. She went through everything, explaining it all as I fought the growl in my chest and the burning in my eyes. Rosalie told her of Laurent and Victoria, of how we'd been fooled again, and everything up until the point we'd been tossed into this stupid cell with its unbreakable diamond bars.

And when she got to the part about Alice, I let loose a rumbling snarl and stood up, turning away. As she told Esme about Alice being dropped off the face of the earth, I had to clutch at the bars tightly, my instincts screaming for revenge, for relief from the severed connection screaming deep down in my DNA.

"She's gone, Esme," Rosalie finally said, slumping back to sit down and rest one arm over her knee. I tensed as I heard a door opening in the distance, my ears practically perking. I swore I could hear approaching footsteps, but the conversation at hand distracted me.

The words made me _hate_ Rosalie, just for having the gall to remind me of that painful fact.

"No," Esme ground out through clenched teeth. "That's not _possible_."

The words seemed to be the spark that set me off as I finally lost it again, as hard as I'd tried to fight it.

"_YES IT IS_!" I rounded on them, yelling at Esme in misguided anger.

It was all flooding back in a pain I couldn't fathom or take.

_Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. _

Esme rose to her feet at my outburst as my fangs extended and I growled warningly.

"Bella, you don't-"

Before Esme could finish, Rosalie's head whipped up and then she was on her feet too, all three of us turning to look through the bars of our cell as the sound of footsteps grew louder and louder. And it wasn't the footsteps of just one person, but many. At least a dozen as far as my vampiric ears were concerned.

"Don't say a word," Esme warned us, but was mostly talking to me as my chest heaved. "Not one word. Let me do the talking. I mean it, Bella. Control yourself."

I was trying, I really was. But it was so hard when Alice began to consume my thoughts.

I _missed_ my pixie, so badly that I couldn't contain it. I missed her smile, her laugh, her beautiful face. I missed how she always seemed to have all the answers, and how she seemed to always know how to make me feel better.

I missed my _Alice_…

And no matter what, she was never coming back. _Never_. Esme had no right to deny what I was struggling to accept out of her _bullshit_ denial-

I had to stop and take a breath, remind myself that I'd experienced that denial myself not too long ago.

As I'd suspected, twelve guards came marching into view, their armor matching the bars of our cell. They lined up outside in single file, emotionless red eyes staring us down. I snarled at them and Esme grabbed my shoulder to keep me in control.

I almost broke my eye sockets from widening them so far when a tinier vampire walked into view, all blonde hair and creepy as fuck with her ruby red eyes and dainty little fangs.

_Jane_.

I hissed at her and she gave me a condescending sneer, eyeing me warily nonetheless. No doubt she remembered the pounding she'd gotten last time and how I'd turned her powers on her.

I hate that little shit. Something about her just makes my skin crawl.

She stepped forward and said, "We will be taking you to the Court now. I suggest you do not fight. Just because _you_ seem to be able to resist my powers doesn't mean _they_ can."

The threat made me impossibly angry, but there was nothing I could do about it. I wouldn't put the others at risk.

And yes, I know I had her powers left in me. I know Rosalie and I could probably use her powers to destroy all of them easily. I knew I was probably stronger than anyone here at that point with all the powers I seemed to have left, but I really wasn't sure how to even use them without provocation.

And besides all that, something told me even if we did take them all out, we'd never find out about what had happened to the rest of the Cullen clan. Sulpicia could have them anywhere. There was no way Jasper, Edward, and Emmett could have taken down all of those vampires that made up the 'Memento Mori.' I had no idea about Carlisle either. I knew he couldn't be dead, or Esme would not be as calm as she was now, but feeling the same thing I was, which wasn't the case. Rosalie and Esme seemed to agree, as when the guards opened the door and two grabbed a hold of each of us, neither fought it.

We were calmly marched side by side down a dimly lit, wide corridor lined by even more of those sparkling bars and their cells. I couldn't resist peering into some of them and seeing some empty, some with dark figures in their corners.

"Bella, Rose, _look_," Esme hissed and we both sharply turned to our left to see Esme jerking her head towards the cell we were passing.

I leaned forward to see past her and the guards gripping her arms, and I gasped.

"Laurent!" I said without meaning too.

From what I could barely see of the dark skinned vampire, he looked…_Dead_. Like, _human _dead. He lay prone on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with lifeless black eyes. His face held no expression and he didn't move at all. No reflexive breathing, no tiny sign of life in his body.

"Quiet!" Jane barked from behind us and Rosalie and I both rolled our eyes.

I waited a moment as we passed by him before muttering to Esme, "What happened to him?" And why did she want us to see him so badly?

Before she could answer, I felt a sharp slap to the back of my head and swore before jerking to a violent stop and baring my teeth at the guard behind me. All I received was a kick in the back for my efforts and I staggered forward, snapping my teeth like an angry mutt.

"Bella. This is what I meant by immaturity!" Esme hissed. "Keep walking!"

I did as she said, still burning up with anger. _Asshole_. What did it matter if we talked anyway? It's not like any of us were going anywhere.

We finally reached a door that was opened easily by the one guard marching ahead of us and led up a ridiculously long flight of stairs that Rosalie and I had been dragged down earlier, practically by our hair as we'd been kicking and screaming the whole way. I was led up first by the two guards in front of me with Esme behind me and Rosalie bringing up the rear.

I could feel a tingle of anxiety working its way up through my spine. What were they going to do to us? What had they already done to the rest of the Cullens? Would they kill us? Would they kill only one of us and make the others watch? Would we be tortured? I wouldn't be able to take watching them hurt what I considered my family…

Would I see Sulpicia?

I made a vow then to myself as we were led up and up and up, around and around and around the spiraling stairs.

If I saw that bitch, I was holding nothing back. I'd fucking kill her. I would. No matter what. It would take more than a dozen guards to stop me if I laid my eyes on her.

She had killed Alice. _My_ Alice. I would _never_ let that go.

My fear was replaced rapidly with rage and I know the guards holding me felt my biceps flex as they gripped me just a little tighter.

"Don't go getting into a fit just yet, Isabella. That would spoil all the fun, wouldn't it? I can't wait to pay you back for before," Jane giggled from somewhere down and behind me.

"And I can't wait to punt your stupid ass again. You'd make a real good football, _Janey_," I snapped back. Again, my head snapped forward as a guard slapped it roughly and I swore. Esme barked another warning at me.

"Do not speak as such to Volturi Royalty," one of the guards rumbled.

"Suck my clit!" I yelled back, unable to stop myself.

Yep.

Esme and Rose were right.

I do seem to have a maturity problem. Imagine shy, teen Bella in vampire form, as if all my sarcastic thoughts had found an outlet through my vampire. But give me a break. If I'd been human, I wouldn't have dared talk back like that. It was like the vampire inside me just refused to take the abuse like a little bitch, be damned the consequences.

The consequences were me being shoved face down into the stairs and receiving a painful kick to the ribs. It was like being hit by an agitated mule and I yelped in agony as I felt something inside me crack.

Some might say I had that coming. I say whatever.

It was almost worth it anyway. Almost. Having your ribs snapped hurts. _A lot._ And I've experienced it more times than I ever wanted to in my life already.

"Isabella, stop it!" Esme snarled down at me and I whined as I felt the air pulse with pheromones. Esme was putting off her Alpha female attitude, and I quickly submitted to it as I was yanked back to my feet and was forced to keep stomping up the stairs, my side aching and getting virtually nothing from that little trade off but a mildly satisfied ego.

I say it's not my fault. I'm going to milk that teenage newborn vampire excuse for as long as I can.

"Idiot," I heard Rosalie's voice and I growled, about to retort yet again when the stairwell reached a platform after what must have been ten flights and we were shoved through the iron door ahead of us. I stumbled along into a brighter lit corridor, back into the golden brick of the Volturi palace as opposed to rugged cobblestone and moss.

The sight of it made something inside my veins tighten. The last time I'd seen these walls…It had been a terrible time. I couldn't believe we were right back where we started.

I blame Rosalie. Mostly. I probably could have broken the news to her a little easier…

"Almost there!" Jane cooed from behind us as we kept walking, taking turn after turn and after what felt like a five minute walk, we reached two familiar doors that practically had me shaking with emotion.

Fear, anger, anxiety, uncertainty. There was no telling what would happen next, but it was without a doubt going to be bad. I wanted to run, to fight, to curl up into a little ball and wish it all away.

Something tells me I've felt this way before.

Jane moved in front of us and threw open the huge, mahogany doors that dwarfed her as if they weighed nothing and bright light blinded my sensitive eyes for a moment before I was shoved into the Court for the second time in my life.

My eyes adjusted quickly and I hurriedly tried to get my bearings as we were dragged further inside.

The first thing I saw was three bodies on their knees and chained to the familiar marble floor with more diamond (Jesus Christ, did Sulpicia own the biggest diamond vein on the earth or something? I knew they were rich but there had to be billions of dollars in diamond in the whole place).

Even before the lifted their heads and looked over their shoulders at us, their faces marred with cracks and their clothes ragged and torn, I knew it was them. It was the Cullen boys, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett and they stared at us as if in disbelief while we were forced to approach.

"Mom! Bella! ROSALIE!"

Their cries were both joyous and terrified. We were there, one of us back from the dead, but _there_ also happened to be in the clutches of the Volturi.

Why can't I have one person genuinely happy to see me today, despite the circumstances? I know I was happy to see them, alive and okay, mostly, if a bit roughed up and chained down.

The place was surrounded by guards. There had to be at least a hundred of them standing around the huge room, standing stock still. Only about twenty of them looked to have that peculiar diamond armor, and I guessed they must have been the Volturi Elite or something.

I smiled weakly, as did Esme, and Rosalie just sighed softly. My eyes jumped over them, trying to get the whole room into my vision at once to see what was happening. They crawled up the steps towards the thrones and I heard Esme let out a pained cry at the man lying at their feet.

It was _Carlisle_, eyes closed and his skin a shiny pink, cracked in many places and black in some others. He was naked from the waist up and even the shorts he wore were torn in many places. He looked burned, _badly_.

A whisper of a word crossed my mind. Aflamed. He'd been _aflamed_, hadn't he? Burned in the midday sun and beaten half to death.

I saw Esme jerk forward out of the corner of my eye but she was held back by her escorts. My anger returned at the sight of the fatherly man sprawled out and wounded and I whipped my eyes up to see who was suddenly standing up over him.

And wouldn't you know it?

It was Sulpicia.


	37. King to D7

The reaction inside me was immediate and without warning, a primal explosion deep in my cells that I couldn't prevent. I lunged forward, bellowing like a stabbed rhinoceros. The guards holding me weren't ready for it and so I snapped out of their hold. I felt the thrill of rage coursing through me as my human mind disappeared and the animal inside me took over completely. There was no conscious thought, only animalistic instinct.

Losing control like that had never been so satisfying, even though I would regret it badly later on.

_Kill her. She killed Alice! KILL HER!_

I bolted forward, intent on hitting that bitch with everything I had. If I had managed to make it to her, it would have been over right then and there. I'd have killed her instantly, I _swear_. One punch, right to her smug face was all it would have taken.

As it was, I got halfway across the room before four guards slammed into me and sent me sprawling twenty feet to the side.

I kicked, snarled, screamed, hissed and roared but more of the Elite came down on me, their strength beginning to overwhelm me.

I felt heat spread in my belly. I felt power rush through my veins. I knew it was Rosalie's power, and I used it without thinking, explosively kicking, punching and slamming into whatever body I could get to, swinging and cracking into armor that made my knuckles crunch painfully but miraculously sent them flying away from me as my cells burned with ferocity.

It was incredible. I wouldn't realize it until later, but it was like becoming a vampire all over again and understanding the strength you suddenly have. I used it. I _used_ it, sending all _ten_ of the Elite guards that had descended on me into the floor, making the ground shake and the marble crack like their skin and armor.

If I had thought I had no cool superpowers before, I was sadly mistaken. But that was _not _what I felt in that moment. All I felt was the maddening, deeply engrained desire to _murder_ Sulpicia and fuck any and every one that got in my way.

That everyone getting in my way happened to be about twenty five or thirty of the fifty or so guards milling about.

The blurs seemed too many to be real, but my vampire screamed a challenge that came pouring out of my mouth.

_Alice, Alice, Alice. They all killed Alice. They helped in her death. My mate, Alice!_

"_COME ON!_" The words exploded from my mouth like a foreign language as I was bomb rushed by them all, glittering diamond and loyal guardians coming at me with everything they had.

They hit me like a hurricane, like a goddamned earthquake. Bodies slammed into me and piled on like a rockslide, sending me down into the floor. Agony billowed out through my whole body and I know I was screaming unintelligibly. I could barely see through the cracks in the bodies surrounding me, pinning me down. My muscles burned with the effort as I gave them as much hell as I could raise.

I fought with everything I had. I kicked, clawed, broke bone, marble and diamond in an effort to work my way out of the fray, but as strong as Rosalie's power made me, it was useless. There were too many. If I knocked back one, snapped one's neck, another was there, grabbing at me, throwing my head back into the ground and letting it rebound as chips of my own skin flew up around me.

The strength began to go out in me. My vampire didn't want to go down, refused, but it was just so _impossible _to take them all down. I must have killed at least ten, but there were so _many_. So many vampires to fight, to kill, all trying to bring me down with all their power.

I could hear the Cullen's cries around me, but whatever blood I had was roaring in my ears and drowning them out. I tried so hard. I _tried_. I wanted to break free of their punishing blows and limbs and go after Sulpicia, get my revenge, but…

I couldn't. As strong as Rosalie's power made me, it began to drain me. My insides whined with exhaustion. My bones strained to the breaking point. My cells were popping. My limbs gave out and their punches and kicks came harder, broke me into a thousand little pieces as the pain began to override the ability to fight.

After what felt like years but must have been only a minute at most, I fell still, the sound of my skin cracking ringing in my ears as I whined pitifully and curled up, defeated while they rained down the pain.

I'll be damned if anyone tells me that I went down easily though. I knew I had taken as many of Sulpicia's precious _Elite_ with me as I could. It was all I could manage…

As the blows began to ease up and I lay in a pile of my own armored skin, breathing hard and shaking violently from the exertion of using so much of my strength, a faint clapping met my ears.

"Bravo, Brava!"

Her voice made my instincts ache, but I was down for the count after being beaten mercilessly into a pulp by the guards still standing after my assault. I could do nothing but growl and stare directly ahead of me, my body rattling.

Rosalie had warned me. I hadn't thought it would drain me so badly. My veins felt closed off and my whole body was hurting from using so much of that power. All I could do was lay there and listen, before I was dragged up and gripped in a death grip by two of the Elite as the others backed off but stayed around me, making sure I couldn't go after their queen again. My skin fell off in pieces as I dizzily dragged my ankles on the floor. I no longer had the ability to stand.

I guess I really didn't understand how _strong_ my instincts were. Seriously, there was _nothing_ I could do to resist my newborn impulses.

"My, my, my. What a brilliant display of power. I imagine that took quite a good bit out of you, though, Isabella."

Sulpicia's voice was getting nearer. I raised my head with what little strength I had left and my eyes landed on her. My human mind still wasn't all there. I wasn't really thinking with my human consciousness. My vampire still owned my body, and growled weakly at her image swimming before me.

"Still, what a _magnificent _display, and from a newborn at that…"

Her ebony hair shone in the light, her high cheek bones risen up in a sickening smile. She was walking towards me, passing the Cullen boys and backed by more of her endless stream of guards. The closer she got, the more my insides writhed.

It was all rushing back. Sulpicia stood before me, perfectly fine and high and mighty while Alice lay at the bottom of a riverbed, neck snapped and _dead_-and I could do _nothing_! Absolutely _shit _to hurt her! My vow for revenge wasn't for _shit_ now because I was too weak to break through her army and hit her, even slap her at this point.

I couldn't even stand face to face with her as she got close to me. I had to be held up like a beaten dog and glare at her as my grey skin was revealed through the massive breaks in my marble armor.

There are no words for the emotional pain that caused me. All I could think when I looked into her heartless red eyes was Alice's name, over and over. The mantra came back to me again.

_Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. _

All because of her.

_Sulpicia_…

"I imagine you wish all these dead men and women around you were me," Sulpicia hummed softly as she reached me, motioning to her fallen warriors.

She had no idea how much I wished they were her, a million times over.

At least ten were dead around us, five of them of the Elite, destroyed in my wrath. Their armor had done nothing to protect them in the end. I felt no sympathy for them. They had to know what kind of person their queen truly was. They deserved no regret, and I would give them none. They, to me, had aided in Alice's murder. They had it coming.

"Sulpicia!" Esme's voice rang out behind me as I panted, supported only by the two men holding me up. "Leave her alone! Stay away from her!"

"Get the hell away from her you fuckin' psycho! I swear-"

That was Emmett…

"_Don't you touch her_!"

Edward…

"You lay _one_ finger on her-"

Jasper.

And from Rosalie, only a threatening snarl that echoed around the marble room. Their protective cries soothed me only a little. It was nice to know that they still wouldn't bow down to that bitch, that they would still fight to protect me even after witnessing my crushing defeat that only proved we could never win here.

It all suddenly felt so hopeless. What could we do anymore? We just had to accept that we had lost. We could never beat Sulpicia. She was too far ahead of us. We get one step ahead and find out she's really been miles ahead the whole time.

I felt so pathetic and weak. Even after giving my all and taking down her absolute _best_, it didn't even matter because she was still coming out on top and in control. We just couldn't win.

God _damn_ it…

Sulpicia halted, and I saw her red eyes darken slightly, narrow a bit. She cocked her head to the side and before I realized what was happening, she had back handed me almost out of the arms of her guards. My ears rang and I could only yelp, too weak to fight back.

I hated it. I felt so helpless. I was literally her bitch at that point.

"Goddamn it, Sulpicia! Let her go! _Stop it_! Haven't you done enough?" Esme refused to back down, her voice only escalating in volume from behind me.

"Effie," Sulpicia's voice softened into something like sympathy.

I still had no idea of their past, but Sulpicia always treated Esme with something akin to…Regret. Filled with mercy. And maybe a bit of longing if you looked hard enough.

"Don't you _dare_ call me that!"

I watched Sulpicia's eyes narrow again. Her jaw locked. She turned to the two holding me.

"Put her with the others. She's harmless, for now. And them as well!" she added, calling out to the guards still restraining Esme and Rosalie.

We were all dragged over to the Cullen boys. I was dropped down next to Jasper, but the men kept their hands on my shoulders even as I nearly pitched face first into the ground, unable to hold myself up.

"Bella, Bella are you alright?" Jasper hissed, straining towards me in his chains.

Kind of a stupid question really. I honestly doubted I looked even remotely okay.

Still, nice to know he cares.

I didn't answer as I weakly turned to see Esme hit her knees next to me and then Rosalie next to her, forced down by the Volturi Elite. Esme's chest was rumbling more than I had ever heard it before.

"Well, now that that's settled, we can move on to the real show!" Sulpicia clapped her hands together before trotting towards the thrones, and I weakly looked up to watch her, my heart burning with hatred the whole time. Jane followed closely behind. Aro sat in the middle throne and on either side of him sat two others, who I assumed were Marcus and Caius, his left and right hand men.

Aro looked…Depressed. There was no other word for it. His papery form sagged in the throne and his face was sadder than I'd thought possible. His eyes were downcast and his lips turned down at the corners.

Is it weird for me to actually kind of feel a _little, itty bitty_ bad for the guy? I mean, he _was_ married to the biggest bitch on the earth, and as far as I knew, the guy had no ill intentions toward us, even liked us.

I know, I am an idiot for even going there. He was married to Sulpicia and as such my sympathy for him died almost instantly, but still…

I was just a bleeding heart for a guy that was usually beyond peppy and happy and creepy and now looked like a kicked puppy.

As Sulpicia reached the throne, she kicked Carlisle directly in the chest. He coughed once, grimacing in agony and letting out a moan of pain that had Esme surging forward in rage. Still, it meant he was alive, for the moment. That was a bit of good news.

Wow, that's absolutely depressing.

The best news all day is that Carlisle's alive, found out by way of being kicked in his probably already knocked in chest cavity!

I hate everything. Mostly the bitch that kicked him.

"_Enough_!" Aro snapped, half rising out of his seat. I had never heard his voice so commanding. Sulpicia seemed a little startled as her husband warned her away from Carlisle, as if she had not expected it from Aro either.

"As you wish," she sneered at him, her eyebrows coming down from their ridiculously high arches and Aro sank back down slowly as if tired simply from this movement.

My suspicions were confirmed a bit more by his outburst. In his own way, Aro still seemed to resist tensions between the Cullens and his wife.

And it made me happy to see he wasn't a whipped bitch for her, and still had some kind of say in what happened here. Maybe, just _maybe_ he could be our ticket out.

Maybe we weren't completely fucked yet.

…Talk about wishful thinking…

I had never taken myself for someone to rely on faith, but it was getting to that point. I honestly didn't care if I survived at that point as I gasped while my body tried to slowly heal me back together. All I wanted was my shot at Sulpicia. I would die to kill her if that was what it took, for what she'd taken from me, for killing my Alice.

But I didn't want the Cullens getting hurt anymore. This wasn't their fight. I still loved them and wanted them to get out okay.

And maybe Aro did, too…

Sulpicia turned back around to face us before easily draping herself over Aro's lap. He made no indication to acknowledge her. He stared down at Carlisle with listless eyes. Jane stood next to them, keeping watch as the Volturi guard watched us closely from the edges of the platform and from behind us.

"Now then," Sulpicia said, addressing us. "To decide the fate of the Cullens…And _Isabella Swan_…"

So it had come down to this. Our fate decided by some sadistic bitch with no heart who should never have been a part of our lives in the first place.

A sudden desire to be human again flooded me. A need to be at home rereading Harry Potter for the thousandth time and fantasizing about Rosalie and Alice Cullen instead of actually being a part of this fucked up life claimed me.

"Let's see…I suppose we should state your crimes first. Hmm, how about treason, attempts to expose yourselves to humans, leading _wolves_ into the city and to our _doorstep_, murder of the Royal Protection, damage to royal property, attempts to _assassinate_ Volturi Royalty…"

And what about your crimes, Sulpicia? Do those just magically not fucking exist?

I wasn't well enough to speak yet, so my tongue remained still. That was probably for the best, because whatever I would have said would only have made the situation worse, as impossible as that seemed to do.

Somehow, I think I could have managed it.

"All of this from vampires we had considered _friends_. All of this from people we let live freely, despite desiring you in our coven. All of this from the _dearest_ Cullens who once were held in the highest regards…" Sulpicia went on, idly playing with a lock of Aro's dark hair as she gazed down on us, her triumph written all over her face.

I just wanted her to die. Disappear off the face of the earth. I wanted my Alice back. I didn't want to be there, under her infuriating thumb, helpless and useless anymore. My head hung practically between my knees because I couldn't keep it up.

"And Isabella Swan, the driving force behind it all…Losing your mate just wasn't enough for you, was it? You've brought all of this down on yourself and the ones you love, Bella…I have to wonder how you live with all the guilt…"

Rage flooded me and I tried to yell back but all that came from my mouth was a grinding sort of wheeze of protest. I glared at her, trying to murder her with my eyes.

How _dare _she even go there…It drove me wild, but I was still too drained to reply.

However, my pathetic wheezing was interrupted by laughter. It wasn't kind laughter, or genuine. It was a hollow, bitter sort of laugh, bordering on hysterical. To my surprise, it was pouring out of Esme's mouth.

The sound was unbelievably unnerving.

"You-ha-you s-stupid _bitch_!" Esme spat, her laughter coming to an abrupt halt. "How could you ever speak of guilt, Sulpicia? How _could _you?"

Sulpicia's eyes flashed and she was on her feet instantly, her face screwed up in the most lack of control I'd seen since she'd realized my powers.

"How could _I_? How could _I_ speak of guilt, Esme?" Sulpicia's voice was deadly quiet, her words like acid in the air. Sulpicia streaked forward without warning, appearing in front of Esme like a specter materializing from the otherworld. She grabbed Esme's chin in her hand as the guards tensed and wrenched it up. Esme's fangs dipped out to meet her with a hiss.

"How could _you_, my _Effervescence_? You should know of guilt better than us all!" Sulpicia snapped as Rosalie lurched threateningly towards them, but before even the guards could do anything, Rosalie's body arched at an eerie angle and a scream ripped from her throat.

I whined pitifully in the back of my throat as the boys swore and jerked in their chains and more of the men and women of the Royal Protection began slapping and kicking at them for their efforts as Rosalie hit the floor, wailing.

I wasn't even restrained because I could do no more than move my eyes to Jane who smirked sadistically down on Rosalie, apparently enjoying herself.

"Stop," I croaked, my voice barely more than a whisper. "_Stop it_…"

Seeing Rosalie tortured again made my chest ache. Why, _why_ did Rose always have to be the one to bear the brunt of the agony?

Poor Rosalie just could not catch a break…

I tried to summon whatever ability I had deep inside me, but I could not find that sensation, the need to push back at an invading force. I couldn't protect her.

Rosalie's cries of anguish drove Esme wild. She jerked and pulled her head from side to side, squirming in Sulpicia's grip. Sulpicia only glared down at her.

"Stop it! STOP IT! Make her stop, Sulpicia! _Please_," Esme finally broke down as Rosalie's body writhed and twisted and her screams grew in volume. Sulpicia's other hand went up instantly, and just as instantly Jane's eyes averted and Rosalie went limp on the floor, panting, with her hair covering her face.

For a long, tense moment, Sulpicia and Esme merely stared into each other's eyes as if wordlessly communicating.

It was hard to have that bitch so close and be unable to do anything. Thoughts of Alice rang clear in my head. Her voice resonated inside my skull, probing at my heart and my sanity. I yearned to be strong enough to get to my feet and hit Sulpicia, knock her onto her back and tear her face off but I had exhausted everything I had trying to go after her earlier.

Before I registered what was happening, I was shoved out of reality as my world tilted sharply.

I have literally no control over anything anymore. Honestly.

It would be nice, Life, if you would at _least_ grant me the choice of whether or not to be bitch slapped by a vision.

But that would be just too easy.

A vision clapped across my eyes, stealing my regular sight. I jerked my head backwards, letting it wash over me as vertigo threatened to knock me out.

_The ceiling was cracking, falling apart. Great chunks of marble fell down like rain and hit the floor like meteors, rocking my senses. Cracks of thunder shook the air as what seemed to be the apocalypse rose around me. The ground was shivering and shaking violently. The sky seemed to be coming down on the building, smashing it to pieces. Surely this had to be the end of everything. _

I ripped myself back into reality, gasping for breath and ignoring Jasper's voice in my ear as he desperately tried to use his powers to calm me down.

Yeah, okay, buddy. When you're as ramped up as me, Jazz, you kinda, sorta, _really_ just make things worse.

Thanks for trying though bro. Means a lot.

I had no clue what all that meant -not surprisingly- and I had no idea of why the vision had struck me then, or what to do with it. All I knew was that it left my heart pounding as hard as it still could.

And a part of me felt Alice's echo dying out, and I could do nothing to stop her ghost from floating out of me again. It all just _hurt_ so badly. It was a war just to listen to the conversation taking place next to me.

"You haven't even told them, have you? They're still clueless as to why everything is happening, aren't they?" Sulpicia gawked, releasing Esme's face. She seemed shocked and I couldn't tell if it was real or fake.

"Let them go. Let my children go. They have _nothing_ to do with this. They never had anything to do with this!" Esme gasped as Rosalie was pulled back upwards, her face expressionless and her eyes staring into the floor after having been forced to endure that torture Jane could inflict all over again.

"We're not leaving you even if she does, Mom," Emmett growled out from my right.

Esme's face clearly said _Like hell you won't_.

"I won't," Sulpicia said simply and Esme gave her a look filled with hatred that almost rivaled mine.

What _was_ their story? I knew now that it had to have played a key part in why we were here now. Why else would Sulpicia actually have the audacity to look dumbfounded in her own glorious triumph?

"Our past should never have involved them. Why can't you just _let it go_, Sulpicia? _Why_?" Esme groaned out, sounding exasperated and broken and angry all at once.

Sulpicia's face screwed up as if Esme had slapped her. (And I soo wish she had, mind you.)

"You know why! _YOU KNOW WHY_!"

Her voice leapt in volume so quickly that my newborn ears cringed. I was startled to see the ice queen actually lose it like that, and so, apparently, was everyone else. Her Guard flinched as did the Cullens. She looked…_Crazy_.

Okay, shut up. The bitch is obviously cray-cray, but she never really _looked _like it until that moment, with her eyes wide and wild and her chest heaving when she never even faux breathed before.

Only Esme remained unmoved, staring up at the psycho before her with an odd expression on her face.

"Sulpicia, please…"

Unlike before, Esme's plea only served to further agitate Sulpicia. She shook her head and let an unnerving sneer peel up the corners of her mouth.

"_Tell them_, Effie. Tell them what happened between us. They might as well know. They've been faithful, idiotic pawns in the game. They've earned the right to know that much," Sulpicia said evenly, backing up a few steps and motioning to all of us.

Fuck you, bitch.

"Fuck you, bitch!"

What?

My eyes widened and I looked sharply to the right. It was Edward who had spit it out. I'd never heard him curse in all the time I'd known him, let alone at a woman.

Yeah, never going to fight the fact that I'm immature again. I grinned, despite everything as Edward threw Sulpicia a livid look and Emmett whooped in delight. It actually hurt my cheeks to do it. My skin was still trying to seal back up and fix the cracks but the look on his face was absolutely perfect.

Sulpicia's head cocked again, in that way it seemed to do when she was in the mood to cause some pain.

I knew Edward was about to pay for his gall. All we could do was brace for impact. She lifted her right hand immediately and Edward crumpled in a heap of agony, yelling his lungs out.

Esme swore.

"Stop it! STOP IT! _Stop!_ I'll tell them, I'll tell them everything! Just stop hurting them! _STOP_!"

Sulpicia let it go on for a little longer, until Esme began to fight her captors, before she lowered her hand and Edward sobbed into the marble floor, going limp as Rosalie had before being yanked back upright.

The Court was quiet again and I saw Aro staring directly at the back of Sulpicia's head, his face contorted into an unreadable expression.

God, how I wished he would do something to help us. We were so vulnerable and helpless. There was nothing anybody could do anymore but wait for Sulpicia's assaults.

I had never felt so useless, worthless, or defenseless…

"I'm waiting," Sulpicia warned, her hand twitching up slightly. Esme began talking immediately.

"I met Sulpicia five hundred years ago in Biloxi Mississippi. I was five hundred years old, and she was two thousand. I had been changed by an elder vampire, and she by an ancient. My change was much kinder than hers…"

"They don't need to know how we were changed. Tell them what happened between us," Sulpicia snapped, interrupting Esme.

I was already stunned. For one, Esme was _one thousand_ years old? And Sulpicia was _over two thousand_ years old? Holy fuck- and they met in _Biloxi_? Alice's home town?

What.

The fuck.

_Why_ had Esme never told us this?

And she couldn't seriously be that old, could she? Let alone Sulpicia! Nobody, vampire or not, could be _that _old!

Esme halted before carrying on, shaking her head. "_Fine_. We met in Biloxi and I was infatuated by a woman I thought was beautiful and strong and _ancient_. Sulpicia took a liking to me. She began to show me the ropes, because I was still lost in the ways of vampires. I was _this_ close to being outed to the humans by my own mistakes, and Sulpicia was actually the ancient designated to put me down. Lucky for me, I used to be quite a charmer, and with a natural seductive ease matched by her power, we became close."

I had thought they'd had a past, but the fact that it was romantic was not what I'd expected.

Like, seriously. I had thought it was impossible me for to be blindsided anymore.

_Silly _Bella!

I should have known better than that by then.

"We stayed by each other's sides for the next three hundred and fifty years-"

Jesus fucking-That is a _long_ time! A long time with _Sulpicia_!

Who she had a _romantic_ relationship with!

What the fuck, Esme. Just what in the fuck.

I hoped she had a good explanation for all that.

"And we fell in love."

Nope, guess not.

My eyes latched on to Sulpicia, who listened, motionless, expressionless, though her eyes didn't waver from Esme's face the whole time.

"What?" Emmett gasped and a guard cuffed him into silence.

"Yes. We fell in love. I _loved _you, Sulpicia. I _admit _that," Esme spoke directly to Sulpicia now, but the ancient vampire made no move to respond.

Just…_How_…Could you _ever_ love…_Sulpicia_? At any point in time?

I suddenly felt a deep resentment towards Esme.

I couldn't stop it. Not with the emotional ache that losing Alice still caused me, would always cause me.

"I loved you with everything I had. You saved my life, and protected me. You kept me safe from anything that could have hurt me. I was the light in your life, your effervescence, and you were the rock in mine, keeping me together. But that doesn't compare to a mate's connection and you _knew_ that. _I_ knew that. We _both_ knew that, from the moment we started everything."

Sulpicia's eyes flashed and her fists clenched, but she still said nothing.

_Ah_…It was starting to come together a little bit now. A little, not much. I'm still Bella. I was trying to piece it all together through the haze of pain I was in. But even an idiot could see that Sulpicia would be the jealous type…

Let me rephrase that.

Even an idiot could see that Sulpicia was the jealous-homicidal-murder-you-and-everyone-you-love-in-a-horrible-twisted-fasion-ex type.

Still, my mind was literally blown. I listened, shell shocked, like everyone else. I saw Rosalie giving her mother the most whip lashed look possible.

"Three hundred and fifty years ago, I met Carlisle, my mate, on a trip to Forks, Washington. You all know how that goes. We locked eyes, and both of us being vampires, it was so _easy _to go to each other. The only thing to hold me back was Sulpicia. My love, my lover, my _friend_. And I know it killed you, Sulpicia, that everything we had could never compare to that one moment with Carlisle. If I loved you, I loved Carlisle more. If I wanted you, I _needed_ Carlisle. And I'm _sorry_ that it came to that. A part of me even resisted it, fought the urge to _find my mate_, the most hereditary need of a vampire, for all those years because _I. Loved. You_," Esme enunciated these words and each word seemed to crack Sulpicia's resolve a little more.

This just can't be true. It can't be happening. It can't have _happened_.

Oh, but by the tick in Sulpicia's eye and the sorrow in Esme's face, I knew that it had.

Welp.

I reiterate: I hate everything.

Damn it, Esme…

This was just the icing on our royally fucked up cake, wasn't it?

"You're leaving parts out," Sulpicia spoke monotonously, her hand twitching again. Esme cringed, as did the rest of us, wondering who Jane's eyes would land on, but the auburn haired vampire rushed on.

"And you gave up _everything_ to try and keep me. I know that. I don't blame you for it. I'd have done the same, but your losses were huge and mine could never have compared. You left the Volturi, a crime punishable only by death. You did it anyway, because you thought you could somehow keep us together. But you had to _know_, there's no way that you _didn't_, that I would never leave _my mate_ for you. You had to know but your past blinded you to rational thought-"

"_Don't speak of my past_! _YOU ARE MY MATE, ESME_! Nobody_ else_! Don't make this into something it's _not_!" Sulpicia screamed, that insane look taking over her again.

As much as I hate that cunt and would never back down from her, she still looked pretty freakin' scary when she flew off the handle like that. It was so sudden and unexpected when she did it.

She's also completely off her rocker if she honestly believes Esme is her mate. Does she really? Is she _actually_ that deluded?

And I swear to all that is holy and unholy, if _this_ is the reason, the real story as to why this bitch did everything she did and is doing now, if _this _is why my Alice was murdered…

I will never, _ever_ find solace in this world, even after I've killed her. I will hunt her down in the afterlife and kill her over and over and over again if her goddamned _jealousy_ is the reason all this happened, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, eh?

No shit, huh.

I saw Aro's face tighten in hurt, and again, before I could stop it, my heart went out to the guy. Sulpicia obviously didn't love him, and it was easy to see that she still harbored intense feelings for Esme.

The only question was, were they the reason Sulpicia was the way she was?

I sincerely hope not. I refuse to let my life have come to this over a jealous girl.

Like, fuck that in every way possible.

"I am not your mate, Sulpicia. I never was, and never will be…" Esme said slowly, as if talking a jumper down from a ledge.

"You cannot deny what we had was real, Effy. I won't _let_ you. That _man_ could never compare to my devotion. All of my planning and work I've done over the years is proof of that. But you…As much as I care for you Esme, you still need to be punished for treating me the way that you did. And I'll see to it that you are, and then all can be put as it should be," Sulpicia rambled and reached out with one hand as if to pet Esme's hair, but with a tremendous display of power, Esme ripped one arm free of the guards holding her and slapped Sulpicia, hard.

The crack resounded throughout the Court and a lethal hush fell over everything.

My respect for Esme came back with a vengeance for doing what I couldn't at that point.

"Just because men have hurt you before, Sulpicia, does not make them all that way! Don't you dare speak of Carlisle like he was one of the ones to put you through that hell. You never could let anything go. Your issues go far deeper than me and you just can't admit it. Why don't you tell them how you really got to where you are today? Why don't you start admitting that _bad things happened_ to you?"

Esme challenging Sulpicia probably wasn't the best idea, but nobody was willing or able to stop her.

These two really had their share of problems together. Understatement of the year, I know, but how could I have ever expected them to be like _that_?

But it seemed as if the real problem, not surprisingly, lay with Sulpicia's past, and not just what she'd had with Esme.

Sulpicia's head was still bowed to the side from the blow Esme had struck her. Her whole body was shaking. She backed up, kept backing up, her face turning to watch Esme with a look of pure rage. She kept moving back until she was practically at the throne platform.

She looked to Jane and my heart stopped.

Ah, hell.

And then she looked down at Carlisle.

"_No_!"

Carlisle's body lit up off the floor as if he had electricity coursing through his form. His silence was broken by a piercing cry, and the only things that interrupted his screams of pain were Esme's cries and Sulpicia's psychotic ranting.

"You think I don't admit to myself what happened? You want me to tell your precious _family _what happened to me? His pain is _NOTHING _compared to mine, _nothing_! Pain isn't physical anguish, it's emotional trauma that wrecks you beyond repair! _Pain_ is being given something true and perfect that finally makes you feel worth something and having it taken away from another _just like the ones_ that caused you the emotional trauma in the first place! Pain isn't _this_!" Sulpicia swung her arm towards Carlisle's shuddering, wailing form. "_You don't know what pain is!_"

It killed me.

It literally destroyed me to listen to Esme's pleading and sobbing, to watch Carlisle, already half dead going through unbelievable agony, to hear the Cullen children shouting and bellowing in helpless fury.

And all the while, I could only stare, broken down and too weak to hold myself up.

All of it was my fault.

All my fault that we were here…

If I had been smarter, I could have stopped it from getting to this point. I could have saved Alice, I could have kept Sulpicia from getting us so far into her clutches, I could have…

I could have done _something _to keep it all from happening.

And now I could do _nothing_.

"You don't know, you will _never_ know. You want to hear my sob story, _fine_. Thousands of years ago, _men _were the monsters of the world, not vampires, or werewolves, or whatever else your nightmares could come up with. They owned everything, controlled, abused and _used _everything. Imagine being four years old, living in some unknown third world country and being raped by your own _father_, who was supposed to be your protector, beaten by him on a daily basis, watching even your mother experience the same, having to live every day knowing you would be sold into a marriage to experience the same treatment for the _rest of your life_!"

Sulpicia was officially checked out. She was screaming over everybody, and Aro was looking at her with shock.

And Jane's eyes never wavered. How much could Carlisle take? How much could _any_ of us take?

Esme had officially pushed Sulpicia beyond her breaking point. It had turned out to be a terrible mistake.

"Imagine that after being married to a fat bastard who can't even keep his food in his mouth when he chews, that someone actually offers you _a way out_. But that way out is _bullshit_! They promise you strength and the ability to protect yourself from these men, but then they sink two of their teeth into your neck and nothing could ever compare to that _pain_! And when you wake up after three more days of blinding _pain_, you are _still _under the control of a male, only this time, they're a vampire! You can't fight him because he's fifty times your age and he _rapes_ you, and he makes you _kill _just to stay alive!"

It was hard to listen to her coherently because all eyes were on Carlisle.

I just wanted his agony to stop.

That was all I could think of. I yearned to leap across the room and rip Jane's eyes out, stop her powers from ever touching anyone again.

Mercifully, Sulpicia's hand flew up and Jane, like a robot, averted her eyes.

The collective gasp of relief from the Cullens made my heart tighten.

Carlisle hit the floor, motionless. I wasn't sure if he was unconscious, if that was even possible for vampires, but I hoped so. I hoped he was in some blissful coma where none of this could touch him anymore.

The pieces of the puzzle were all falling into place.

Sulpicia wasn't just a jealous bitch, she was a _crazy_ bitch with a fucked up past and a mind that was probably shattered at an irreparable age, and only had that crazy solidified when she was changed and still kept under the thumb of a man.

It made sense.

But it did nothing to soothe my hatred for her.

If anything, I only hated her even more.

Esme's sobbing didn't stop but the rest of the Cullens had fallen silent. I thought I could hear Edward and Emmett weeping. Jasper shook next to me.

Sulpicia went on.

"So don't tell me I haven't admitted it to myself, sweet Effy. I live with it every day. I know that you don't mean it when you tell me such things, but you have to understand that it still stings to hear it. You just don't _know_, Esme, you just don't know what I've been through. That's _okay_, that's understandable. But you have to know that what I've been through only makes everything that I've done _right_, and you are so. _So_ worth it, Esme. So worth it…"

Her voice had softened. She spoke directly to Esme, and her tone now seemed soothing, accepting. Her complete 360 reverse in mood left my head spinning.

Talk about psychotic…

And her words brought the venom back to my mouth in a rush.

How could she…How could I even _begin_ to sort through that fucked up, insane speech?

Sulpicia was out of her goddamn mind!

I was speaking before I even realized I could.

"You are out of your fuckin' mind," I gasped out, lifting my head to stare directly at her narrow, now charcoal black eyes.

I saw nothing but barely suppressed insanity in her eyes.

The sight sent a chill up my spine. To stare into the eyes of a crazy person is an eerie sensation, one that made my skin crawl.

But I would not look away. I had a whole lot that I wanted, needed to say to her.

And it all came back to Alice.

Her eyes snapped to mine and her eyebrows shot up as a sickly sweet smile claimed her face.

"Oh, is the little newborn back in action now?"

"You really are pathetic, Sulpicia. I didn't get it before, why you are the way you are, _how_ you could be the way you are…But it makes sense. Your past _is_ painful. It's more painful than I thought possible. What happened to you…Nobody deserves that..._Nobody_…"

My speech was halted, almost slurred. I never thought I'd speak those words to her. I had thought that Sulpicia deserved all of the ache in the world for taking my mate from me, for being the sick, evil person she was, and honestly, a part of me still believed that, the part that yearned for Alice with no restraint.

So basically, all of me.

But…In a way, how else could a person like Sulpicia come to be?

Her past had to have been something so traumatizing because I never want to meet the person that is the way she is for no reason at all...

She watched me like a hawk and I kept going, my chest rattling as I took a deep breath, struggling to keep going. There were spots of light popping in my vision.

"But if you think…If you think that justifies everything you've done…_Any_thing you've done to us…You are so out of your mind…You can't really believe that…Tell me you don't believe that…" I gasped out ruggedly, watching her upper lip curl back with disgust for me.

"I deserve _happiness_! I deserve my lover, my _mate _back! _I deserve everything I will get out of this_, Isabella Swan! Don't pretend to comprehend matters far beyond your feeble, infantile mind!" Sulpicia barked at me and I shook my head in disbelief.

Loco. She was absolutely _nuts_.

I took another deep breath, and this time my voice didn't shake when I spoke.

"She's not your mate. She's Carlisle's. You know that. And how could you deserve happiness after everything you've done? You want to talk about _our _crimes? What about _yours_? What about manipulating innocent people? What about taking their lives and using them to achieve your own sick, twisted idea of happiness? What about using their weaknesses against them for your own pleasure? What about taking the life of an innocent, beautiful person, my _mate_, for your own goddamn, so called _happiness_! What about _my life_, Sulpicia? _What about that_!"

I was yelling by the end of my rant, and I felt how much easier it was to hold my head up in the heat of rage.

Who was she to decide that she had the right to use and hurt people for someone she knew didn't want her anymore?

What a hypocrite. I could not, for the life of me, feel any bit of sympathy for that woman. She was the exact thing she preached to despise.

"How dare you-" Sulpicia started, her face tightening with anger.

"How _dare_ I? You are such a hypocrite, and you don't even realize it! You claim men are the monsters because they raped you and used you and took away all your joy and innocence but what have you been doing for the past hundreds of years, Sulpicia? The _exact_ same thing! You are-God, you are so fucked up! You took my innocence away when you stepped into my life and took control of it for your own goals, the same way they did the moment you were born! You used me and my Alice to get to Esme, you used her children! You used us and hurt us in unbelievably painful ways, and don't tell me we don't know what _pain_ is by now! You have tortured us, taken away everything that you can for your own desires! How are you any better than them? Tell me. _TELL ME_!"

My chest was heaving and so was hers. Her eyes were wild, like a caged animal. She didn't say anything back. I knew without a doubt that she couldn't.

She couldn't argue with me. She had no rebuttal.

She had no way of refuting me because it was all the truth, and by the look on her face, she couldn't stand that.

That she was exactly what she claimed to despise, claimed made her right in everything she did.

"You are not entitled to Esme just because you want her! You are a rapist, Sulpicia, but you rape the mind and not the body. But I bet, I _guarantee _if you killed us all right now and took Esme prisoner, you would say you had the right to have sex with her, whether she wanted it or not, right? Because you _deserve_ her? Because you have some mythical right to her and she gets no say in it?"

Sulpicia snarled then and the sound of it was ungodly. It came from deep within her belly, like an enraged dragon roaring from across the room and she took one step forward, her hands clenched into fists and her eyes flashing violently. Instinctively, I knew this was the roar of an ancient vampire made angry.

Astonishingly enough, I felt no fear in the face of it.

It seemed that implying she would truly hurt Esme was her line of control, though, implying that she was like the men that raped her, even if it was true.

She was no longer the untouched ice queen. She was turning into the beast that lurks inside every vampire and I can't lie; it gave me a deep sense of satisfaction to see her wilt beneath the unwavering truth that she was a sick, evil person, despite whatever her past was.

"And you know what else? You're a coward. You hide behind these guards and their armor, which by the way, nobody should be able to afford, Jesus Christ, and you camp behind this ultra self righteous _crap _but Esme was _right_. You would never face anything head on. You hide behind your past like it somehow makes everything you're doing okay when it _doesn't_ and you hide behind your expendable protection because you're too afraid to face me head on. You're too scared to admit that you would lose if you had to face me alone and see just what happens when you _fuck with people's lives like this_!"

My ability to talk was waning. I was still so weak and I knew by the way she threw her head back and started laughing that she was calling my bluff.

If she had let me up right then to fight her, I'd have lost in a split second. I needed to recover, but I also knew that if she would just give me that opportunity, I knew it deep in my bones that I could beat her.

I could _beat _her because she'd given me the ultimate weapon.

Grief. The need for revenge.

She took Alice from me, and that alone would be enough for me to take her down.

I just needed to goad her into this. I had to use my words better than I ever had before because if not, she would probably kill us all right now, be damned how obviously wrong she was.

Oh my god, the irony.

Isabella Swan using her words to save herself!

I almost laughed at the thought of it. Since when did I become a public speaker?

"You honestly think that you could defeat me, little newborn? You can't even stand on your shaky fawn legs!" Sulpicia guffawed, stalking forward and back up to me. She bent down and lowered her face close to mine, a brutal sneer on her face.

Being so close to her activated my gag reflex as well as my punch-a-hoe in the face reflex.

But I had to keep it together. This was my last shot, my last ditch attempt to get us one more chance out of this hellhole.

"You talk a big game for someone that stood by and let her guards soften me up first. How many of your precious Elite went down in that fight, Sulpicia? Five, plus the other five normal ones? How many Elite with their pretty armor does it take to compare to you?"

Her face darkened.

Hot damn, though. I never knew I could talk shit until the pressure mounted on me.

I prayed it would keep working, because by the look in her eyes and the expressions on her guards' faces…

People were second guessing themselves. And unbelievably, people were second guessing their queen.

Sulpicia was second guessing _herself_.

"A thousand Elite could never compare to me, little cygnet," she scoffed, but I saw right through her bravado.

…I chose not to comment on the fact that I had no bloody clue what a cygnet was.

No point in making myself look dumb at that moment. I had to seem like I had all the answers.

"Then why do you look so _scared_?" I hissed back, glaring deep into her lightless black eyes, as sick as it made me to do so.

"Scared? Scared of _what_? You are nothing but a pawn in my game, stupid girl! You are disposable and weak and helpless!" Sulpicia snapped back, rearing up as if struck by the word 'scared.'

Not very subtle, Sulpicia. Not very subtle at all.

"You're afraid of me. You're not just afraid, you're _terrified_. I saw it on the bluffs in Phoenix. We both know it. You know what I'm capable of. You can't stand that your precious mind controlling powers can't touch me. You're petrified that you can't even have the tiny sadist over there torture me into submission. You are afraid of me, because you know the only way you could really, truly defeat me would be with real strength and skill. And you just don't have that."

The Cullens were watching with rapt attention. Aro was actually standing now, wringing his hands with anxiety.

But it was the looks of the guards that made me excited. I knew when their faces changed from disbelief to suspicion and doubt that was aimed towards Sulpicia that I _had_ her.

Sulpicia relied on the unwavering faith of her vampire coven to keep her power. If they were questioning her, how could she ever keep them under control, and therefore the power of the Volturi?

And the only way to keep them in line now would be to prove that she had skill and strength beyond her mind control.

By fighting me when we were both at full strength.

Her sneer twisted into an ugly scowl, before she chuckled softly.

"You really are quite the anomaly, aren't you Isabella Swan?"

Can't say I've never heard that one before.

I felt my own smirk twist my face. It was a hateful expression, one that only illustrated the fact that I had beaten her this time, that I was going to get what I wanted, a real fight with that bitch, a real chance to take her down and avenge my Alice.

Apparently, I could be a real smooth talker if I needed to.

Who knew?

She leaned down close to me and spoke directly into my ear, which caused a rumbling growl to echo in my chest.

Fucking gross. Her breath smelled like iron and wine, or blood.

It was a testament to my disgust for her that even blood smelled bad on her breath.

"You think I don't know what you're doing, cygnet? What kind of fool do you take me for? You think your precious words have swayed my guards?"

I froze.

Looks like I'd been busted. And that meant everything was about to be lost.

Damn it, why did I have to celebrate prematurely?

"They haven't. They would never betray me. But I'll entertain your dream of killing me. That can be the price I pay for my so called _crimes_. I will gladly slaughter you, and then everything I've done will really be right, and everyone will know it, and I'll have my mate, and you'll _still _be _without yours_."

Psycho fucking-

I bowed up and lunged with everything I had. My arms slid through the grasp of the two men holding me until they locked onto my wrists, grunting with surprise and exertion as Sulpicia staggered back a step with my face right in hers and I was pulled to a halt like a dog on a chain, snapping my fangs at my prey, just out of reach.

For a moment, we just stood there, my eyes boring into hers as I tried to communicate the thoughts running through my head, her death and my vengeance, her in a pile of ash, burning in all my rage.

"Bring it, you crazy bitch," I snarled and her eyes narrowed as she hissed at me before I was yanked right off my feet and back into the arms of her guards.

"Take them away. Throw them all in the dungeons. Feed none of them except Swan. You get three days to recover, cygnet. We'll see how confident you are then," Sulpicia ground out at me through clenched teeth.

"He stays," Sulpicia added darkly when one of the guards made towards Carlisle. Esme sobbed openly, but there was nothing any of us could do.

My rapid movements had left me dizzy and close to passing out, but even as we were all lifted and dragged towards and through those massive mahogany doors, I twisted in their arms and stumbled to keep my balance so I could call out one last thing to her.

"You were right about one thing, though, Sulpicia. You deserve everything that's coming to you."

The slam of the doors behind me couldn't block out her scream of anger.

* * *

_**Note: Cygnet = baby swan. **_


	38. Famous Last Words

I was thrown into a cell with Rosalie. The others were taken even further into the dungeons, thrown in cells far away from us. Rosalie and I were practically at the exit.

I lay motionless, to tired and blown out to move. Rosalie crawled over to me as the door to the stairs slammed shut again. There were surprisingly no guards left with us down there in the musty torch light. I assumed they were all top side and even if we did try to escape would be able to stop us.

"Easy, Swan," Rosalie murmured to me as she rolled me over on to my back and I whined slightly, now able to feel the full effects of my beating with no distractions.

The pain was intense; I knew my bones were broken in many places and were slowly healing up. My armored skin was shattered off in great pieces, leaving ugly gray gashes along my body. The gray skin was tender and felt horribly exposed. Even the torchlight made it hurt.

But even as I lay there, my body was already working hard to seal them up. They were already smaller than they had been in the Court.

Of course, when you're in agony down to your cells, it's not much comfort. It would take a long time before I was fully healed.

"What did I tell you, idiot?" she muttered to me as I stared at the stone ceiling. Her voice wasn't particularly scathing, just soft and regretful. She sighed as she looked down at me. She curled her legs under herself and sat close to me, Indian style.

I looked at her helplessly. I knew I was stupid for using all my strength up like that, for ignoring her warnings about those powers.

But how was I supposed to stop that from happening? She hadn't told me how instant the fury came, how impossible it was to fight it when the object of your rage was right there in front of you, begging to be destroyed.

My throat closed up as she looked down on me with her exhausted black eyes.

Rosalie deserved none of this. None of the Cullens did, but she above all was the biggest pawn in the game. She had been used more than any of us, lied to, tricked and abused just so that Alice and I could be lied to, tricked and abused. She always bore the brunt of the assault and never said a word about it.

I felt guilt and shame welling up in me as she stared down at me, as if sizing up my injuries and figuring out what to say to me.

How would I ever be able to say thank you enough to her, even if it all ended in a few days? She'd stayed by me and Alice the whole way, protected me just as much as my mate, willingly and without faltering. Rosalie was an amazing person, if a bit terrifying and overwhelmingly cynical.

"I don't feel it anymore," she finally said, her eyes searching my face.

Huh?

Confused, I stared up at her.

"Don't look at me like that, Swan. You know what I'm talking about," Rosalie huffed and glared down at me, but the glare wasn't genuine.

Uh, no, I really don't. What was she talking about?

"Please don't make me say it. It's embarrassing enough that it actually happened."

My god, Rose, now is not the time to play the guessing game with Bella. Please just spit it out before my skull implodes.

She just stared at me.

I was going to have to ask directly.

Sigh.

"What're you talkin' abou'?" I slurred, my throat aching as I talked.

Rosalie's eyes rolled slowly, patronizingly before they landed back on mine.

"I kissed you, genius. Remember that? I know now isn't the best time to bring that up…"

I almost choked on the excess venom that was pooling in my mouth.

How could I have been so stupid?

I had completely forgotten to tell her about what Victoria had done to her!

"But I don't feel it anymore. I don't…Feel for you anymore, Bella," Rosalie continued.

Hey now.

My expression was a bit wounded at that. Just because she wasn't in love with me didn't mean she didn't have to care about me…

Again, her eyes rolled in her angelic face and she scowled down at me. It was almost endearing how familiar the look was.

"That's not what I mean. I just don't like you like that anymore. I used to feel it so strongly and now I…I don't. And I'm sorry," she added.

Okay, slow down, honey. I can't keep up with you when you switch gears that fast. I can barely keep up with my own thought process at the moment.

"I'm sorry about all of that. I never got a chance to tell you that. I'm so, so sorry Bella. I yelled at you on the plane like all of this was your fault, but it was mine. I'm sorry for kissing you. I had no right. I knew Alice would see it in her visions and it would all go badly for us, but I couldn't stop myself. I-I didn't mean to let it happen, but it did. I was just so confused, Bella. I'm not…Good with my feelings, and it all happened so fast, and then you got hurt, and Alice is-she-"

Uh oh.

Nuh uh.

Quit it.

Fuck, she's crying.

Rosalie was crying. Her face had steadily gotten more and more ashamed and broken and now she was actually sobbing with shiny eyes and clutching herself and _man_ I really can't stand it when girls cry.

"Rose-" I croaked, but she shook her head and bit down hard on her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant for her to get hurt, I never wanted any of this."

My breath hitched. She was talking about Alice. It made my heart pound and I fought the surge of fire in my cells at the mentioning of my severed connection with my mate. I felt raw all over again and I panted at the rush of unpleasant sensation.

"Stop, stop," I panted. "Rose, no. S'not your fault. S'Victoria's, she did it. Was Victoria and crazy bitch, not you…"

It was all I could manage to get it all out as Rosalie's pretty face dissolved into self loathing and she kept muttering apologies under her breath.

She didn't know, she had no way of knowing that her feelings had been manipulated for so long by Victoria. Rosalie didn't know that her feelings had not been her own, had been fake and forced.

I didn't blame her. I would never blame anyone but myself and Sulpicia for Alice's death. I couldn't stand the idea that Rosalie hated herself, blamed herself for Alice's death when her part in it had been forced by that ginger whore Victoria.

I was seriously pissed at myself for letting that little detail slip.

And by the way, seeing the untouchable Rosalie break down like that is really painful to watch. It seemed she'd finally reached her stoic limit.

"What?" Rosalie breathed, looking down at me with wide, watery eyes. "W-what do you mean?"

"Victoria…Can…Make you…Feel things…Not real…Used her powers…Tricked you. Tricked us," I wheezed out and Rosalie's face screwed up in anger.

There's my girl.

"I should have known. I should have _known_! Even in death she still gets to me! _Damn_ it!" Rosalie cursed, shaking her head and rubbing furiously at her eyes to get the tears out of them. "To think I…God, I still should have been able to protect her. I should have been able to protect you both, Bella. I tried. I really tried. I'm _sorry_. I wish…"

I put my hand on hers with a tremendous effort, stopping her in the middle of her unneeded apologies.

None of this was on Rosalie. I needed her to know that I didn't blame her for any of this. She had no idea how much she meant to me, to Alice, how much she had done for us.

She swallowed hard, looked at our hands and then back to my face. She hesitantly put her hand on my cheek, cradling it as I grimaced in agony, my body oblivious to how much I hated the pain of being put back together again. It was awful as my Vampriosia cells sewed me back together, bit by bit.

It was odd, but undeniably comforting to experience affection from Rosalie that wasn't violent or angry in nature.

"You have lost _so_ much, Bella…So much…And you never deserved any of this…"

My thoughts were consumed by Alice again, though. I couldn't fight them away, so weak in that moment. They flooded me and I gasped as an entirely different, more intense agony took over me.

I missed her. I missed Alice so badly that I couldn't even begin to fight it.

I missed her smile, her laugh, her scent, her touch, her taste, her eyes and her perfect marble face.

I missed her and nothing was going to bring her back.

Flashbacks hit me before I knew what was happening. Each one was like a punch to the gut and I sobbed openly, felt Rosalie's thumb brush over my cheek.

"_Bella! Bella, over here!" I was in the lunchroom, looking for a place to sit to wait on the Cullens, but they were already there. Alice was calling me over, waving her hand high above her head and giving no fucks about the stares she was getting. _

_Her wide golden eyes locked on mine and her smiling face left me beaming, helpless under her loving gaze. _

The scene changed.

"_Do you know how beautiful you are, Bella? You are so beyond perfect…" _

_We were lying in her bed together, holding our hands together between us, and all I could see were honey amber eyes, looking at me with so much love and devotion that it took my breath away. _

Another one hit me. This time my breath caught in my throat and my voice rose to a pained cry as Rosalie hushed me softly, trying to soothe me. I felt her other hand on my other cheek, cradling my face as I squeezed her hand tightly.

_We were curled up together at the far edge of the forest behind her house, sitting on an Indian blanket with her arms wrapped around me and my face buried into the crook of her neck. It was midnight and her skin was glowing, shimmering as if the water from the lake was lapping at her, as if the moon was living inside of her. _

_Alice caught me staring and quirked an eyebrow at me. I drank in the sight of her, loving her with every inch of my eyes. Her soft, heart shaped lips curled into a gentile smile and my heart lost its regular rhythm. _

_How had I gotten such a wonderful girl as my lover? Did I really deserve such a perfect being?_

"_Stop looking at me like that," Alice murmured as she nuzzled my nose affectionately and wound her arm tighter around my waist. _

_She smelled so good, like September rain and the fresh air of Autumn when the leaves are all spectacular colors, golden like her eyes. _

"_Like what?" I mumbled back, giddy in her embrace, like a lovesick puppy. _

"_Like you're questioning whether or not you're good enough for me. I can see it in your eyes, Bella, don't lie…" _

_How could she have known? Edward was the mind reader, not her. I blinked, surprised at her insight but she only giggled, leaned in and kissed my lips tenderly, letting her electricity tingle its way along my mouth and straight to my toes that curled in delight. _

"_I love you so much, Bella. You are it for me. Don't ever think you're not, sweetheart, darling, _beautiful _Bella…You are my lovely Isabella and I wouldn't trade you for anything, even the moon and stars hanging up there in the sky because you are _so _much better than anything in or out of this world…" _

I was ripped from the memory like a fish being pulled out of water. I gasped and clutched Rosalie's hand so tightly that minute cracks shot out along her knuckles but she only held my face tighter, whispered more of her soothing nonsense to me, but none of it helped.

Nothing could help me as I lay there, writhing, broken.

I yearned so deeply for Alice that nothing could make it stop. Nothing would ever make it stop.

But there were some things that could make me believe none of it had ever happened for a little while…

One of those things happened to be a guard opening the door of our cell and throwing in a murdered deer, a strong buck with antlers that twisted high above his head.

I hadn't even heard him coming in my despair and bone breaking agony. Rosalie hissed at the guard and grunted when the deer landed only inches from my face, sliding a little before stopping.

Luckily, his throat was right next to me.

My pupils blew out and my body lurched immediately, the vampire in me growling roughly. My face was torn from Rosalie's hands and my fangs ripped into the dead animal, and seconds later my mouth was filled with blood that would never be as delicious as it should be, but was satisfying enough.

"Dinner's up!" the guard called, chuckling as he walked away and I began to gorge myself. Every mouthful was a balm to my aching muscles, the sting in my cells. Feeding took my mind away from me, left me without any conscious thought but the need to satisfy my hunger. Rosalie sat back with a sigh and just watched me.

Beyond this, there was only one other thing that would ever soothe my need for Alice, and that was going to happen in three days time, when I swore I would kill Sulpicia.

For Alice. For my Alice…

Three days passed.

With each hour my body grew stronger, piece by agonizing piece, my skin reformed, my bones set back straight and true, and my cells reformed and went to work. Every day they dropped off a large buck, only one.

I wondered briefly why Sulpicia never forced human blood on me. The only theory I could come up with was that she knew I wouldn't take human blood, and she just wanted me recovered so she could go ahead and kill me.

Rosalie would not let me share. She absolutely refused. When I started getting mad at her for it, she said, "You're going to need every ounce of strength you have to beat that bitch. I'm not taking one damn bit of it from you. I refuse to be the reason you get your ass killed, Swan."

And so she sat in the corner whenever I fed, covering her nose and grumbling her way through my feeding frenzies. I grew much stronger every time I finished feeding, the blood giving my Vampriosia cells a super charge to keep me healing.

By the end of the second day, my skin had completely sealed up.

By the end of the third day, my body stopped hurting, even if my heart never would.

And on the start of the fourth, the guards came for us. I knew what they were there for even though the passing of time had been hard to guess, because they only ever came down here to throw a dead animal at my face and stalk back out.

I had never been more ready for anything in my entire life.

Rosalie was miserable and we both knew it. Her face looked as starved as Esme's had as the Elite walked in, pulled us to our feet and marched us out of the cell. We were led up that long staircase, and my mind was focused in on only one thing.

I was going to kill her. There was no question about that to me. There was no, 'What if I lose? What if she beats me? What if I can't do it? What if she's stronger? What if I _die_?'

Because it didn't matter. Not anymore. My thoughts had been consumed by my Alice in our stay in the cell. They reinforced my mind again and again, closing off all thoughts of losing or dying.

If I died, so be it.

But I would take her with me, no matter what it took.

I know that I may have been confident without reason or any way to back it up. But I felt sure of this in a way I'd never been sure of anything else. I knew I had the ability to ward off her mind control powers, knew nobody else would interfere because Sulpicia had a point to make. Maybe I could use Alice's powers, too. I even considered using Jane's if it came to that. I knew I had Rosalie's powers swimming in me, though they'd practically killed me before.

I would take that trade any day. What did I have to live for without Alice anyway?

Call it dramatic if you want. Call it suicidal. Fine. I accept that.

I never truly understood the connection of mates before Alice died. I never understood why Carlisle was so adamant on making me understand how intense and real it is. It wasn't just some magical idea in our heads; there was something deeply primal about the connection of vampire mates.

And severing that tie killed something inside of you. Something you could never get back.

We spilled out into the hallway with the guards surrounding us. They stood close to Rose and I, but didn't hold us.

They knew we weren't going anywhere.

Well, Rosalie might have wanted to go hunting, so they stood closer to her than me, but there was no doubt that I was going straight to the Court, where they had told me the battle was to take place.

I wasn't running. I wasn't scared. I wasn't afraid as we reached those mahogany doors. One of the guards reached for them.

"Wait," I said forcefully and he paused, giving me a weird look. He glanced at his companions but I just took a deep breath and ignored Rosalie's eyes on me.

I stared at the wooden grain of the doors, soaking it in for a moment.

This was it. No turning back. I was going to put everything on the line in the next few seconds of my life.

It was almost impossible to believe everything that had happened. I had met Alice Cullen, fallen in love with her, in detention of all places, learned that she was a freaking vampire and that werewolves existed, that we were all some part of a ridiculously long and drawn out plot by some psycho jealous bitch, been changed into a vampire, and _lost_ Alice to the insanity.

It was a far cry from my human life.

And to whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is full of shit.

Just saying. Famous last words, huh?

"Okay. I'm ready," I finally said and before any of them could stop me, I stepped forward and pushed the doors open myself and walked in, ready for whatever was about to go down.

But I already knew in my aching heart that the only thing going down that day would be Sulpicia.


	39. A Dream Come True

The electric light of the Court as opposed to the usual torchlight everywhere else in the Volturi palace always blinded me at first. As my sensitive eyes adjusted to the light, I heard her sickening voice echoing around the room.

"Ah, and the guest of honor has finally arrived. Nice of you to take your time, cygnet. Ready to die?"

I actually rolled my eyes at her words. Could she get anymore cliché?

Please, if you're going to taunt me in your evil villainess way, make it good.

My eyes focused and I zeroed in on her, curled up on the lap of Aro at the thrones. Aro looked upset as she ran her fingers through his hair. I didn't blame the guy. I would be too. Marcus, Caius, Jane, and Alec (long time no see, Alec) stood next to them, and two girls I didn't recognize stood off to the side of all of them. One was tall with dark skin and dark hair. She looked almost Amazonian and her red eyes watched my every move. The other was pale with light brunette hair, and something about her put me off.

Well, the Volturi always put me off, but she really did for some reason. Her eyes, however, did not linger on me.

The guards nudged me forward and I heard Rosalie huff as they grabbed her and began leading her off to the side. I watched as they took her over to the right wall, where the other Cullens were standing, surrounded by the Volturi Guard.

They all looked like shit, I'm sorry, there's no other way to put it.

They were clearly starved. There was no telling the last time any of them had eaten. Jasper was actually baring his teeth and panting quietly. I remembered that he was also a young vampire. He must have been feeling twice as bad as everyone else.

I knew the pain of vampiric hunger. It was blinding. My heart went out to them as they stood together, all of their eyes on me. I deliberately avoided Edward and Emmett's gazes because I knew they were begging me not to do this.

They had to know it was fruitless. No way was I backing out of this now. It's not like I could even if I had wanted to.

But there was Carlisle!

He lay at Esme's feet, his skin even more blackened than before and his body cracked open like an eggshell. Esme was shaking hard, but she managed to draw her eyes up to meet mine.

"Please, this is madness! We can still fix this! There is no need to hurt each other anymore!" Aro's voice took over the room and my eyes shot back to them.

I watched as Sulpicia scoffed and shook her head.

"Hubby, please. There is only one way to fix this and you know what that is!" she crowed at him with a falsely sympathetic smile.

He actually growled at her. I nearly laughed at the look on Sulpicia's outraged face, but couldn't contain my gawking when he stood up and practically dumped her onto her ass.

"Why? Why does it have to end in death and heartache? These are our friends! Why do you insist-"

"_Were_ our friends, Aro! Stop acting like a _child_! I'm not the one that insisted on betraying my supposed friends!" Sulpicia snapped back. "Now sit _down _and stop making a scene."

It shouldn't even be a question that they had marital issues. But I was still surprised to see Aro obey without question. He dropped back to the throne wordlessly. I realized with a start that Sulpicia had used her powers on him!

And nobody was doing a thing about it!

They knew Sulpicia used mind control on Aro and nobody cared? They had to know! Why would their king obey their queen so completely?

I had to wonder just how much Aro really wanted to be with this woman. Everything seemed to say that he didn't and shouldn't want to be. It was clear she didn't love him, that she didn't want him, that she was using him.

"Now, Isabella. Back to business!" Sulpicia turned back to me. I cocked my eyebrow at her and didn't reply as she stepped down off the platform of thrones and took a few steps forward. She pulled off her cloak and tossed it over her shoulder. Marcus or Caius, I didn't know which was which, caught it. Whichever one had the darker hair.

She wore a tight black top with no sleeves and an ornate red and gold design on it. Her pants were also tight and black with a similar design on them.

I noted that her arms were clearly toned, defined. They looked strong for such a thin woman. But they wouldn't be strong enough.

"Before we do this, I have some people I'd like to introduce to you. The tall, gorgeous woman you see up there is Zafrina. She's not really that important, but I just want to give her the credit she deserves for helping bring my plans to fruition. She's the one that faked Victoria's death, remember?" Sulpicia smirked, motioning to the Amazonian woman.

Great. Good to know. Don't really care. Hope she dies a slow, painful death.

"And this charming young woman you see before you is Chelsea. She will be playing quite the big role in my plans after I kill you. Do you know what she can do, Bella? It's quite amazing, really."

I didn't say anything back. I had no interest in entertaining her small talk. Was this really the part where the villain stopped to reveal her epic evil plot to the doomed hero?

Too bad I wasn't a hero and had no interest.

"She can create and sever ties, Isabella. That includes the ties of mates," Sulpicia sneered at me, her long fangs gleaming cruelly in the light. "But I'm really just interested in the severing part…I'm sure a _smart_ girl like you can figure out why…"

Esme sobbed and I felt my fists clench. She didn't really mean to do what I thought she did, did she?

I refused, absolutely refused to let her hurt them anymore, my loved ones, my friends.

"That's not going to happen, Esme, so stop crying right now," I finally spoke up, feeling all the hatred bubbling up inside me again.

Sick bitch. How could she claim to love Esme but would rip her connection with Carlisle apart, knowing it would kill her?

"Don't do this, Bella. You can still get away. Just run, run away, Bella!" Esme called to me, shaking her head.

I was reminded sharply of Alice. Her plea was in vain; it only steeled my resolve even further.

"Oh, _please_ with this 'save yourself' act, Effy. You should be happiest of anyone that Bella is about to die!"

Everyone in the room gave Sulpicia a WTF look, including myself. Leave it to her to still garner that kind of response for me.

"Bella is the only reason any of this happened at all! Well, her, and your precious Lullaby, too…"

My hackles rose instantly at her mentioning of Alice. I took a step forward but Sulpicia only rolled her eyes at me.

"Honestly. If it hadn't have been for Alice, we never would have known of Bella in the first place, or her incredible powers. I never would have had a way to bring you here, Esme, without your children in the mix. Don't you see? If I could do to you what you did to me, I knew you all would come running. Give you something precious to love and need, and then hurt it, take it away from you. That something just happened to be Alice. And Bella was the easiest way to get Alice, and therefore, to you, my Effervescence…"

Every time Alice's name left her lips my insides boiled that much hotter.

She had no right…No right to let Alice's name touch her tongue, no right to speak of her.

And honestly, why in all fuck did Sulpicia's plan have to be that convoluted and complicated? She really couldn't think of any other way to get to Esme? Really?

Fucking bitch.

"So if you should hate anyone in here, it should be Isabella. After all, without all of your help, cygnet, how would I have ever gotten this far in my plans?" Sulpicia mused before giving me another sickly sweet smile.

Her words infuriated me.

But she was right. If it wasn't for me, none of it would have worked. She wouldn't have been able to control Alice after creating her, wouldn't have been able to get to Esme or any of the Cullens without a way into their good graces…

It was all me. All my fault. She'd gotten to me, taken my life and turned me into another pawn on her chessboard, another piece in the game to take out the enemy's king and queen, Carlisle and Esme.

It drew me up like a posturing lion. My shoulder blades drew together and I growled, low in my throat at Sulpicia. She eyed me with bright red eyes, apparently amused.

She wouldn't be amused soon. I was getting sick of waiting for something to happen, sick of the talking and dancing around what we'd really come here to do.

"Oh, I'm sorry, kitten, did that upset you? Do you want to fight me now?" Sulpicia began moving forward and I knew that it was time.

No more waiting, no more hurting.

With every step she took I crouched lower to the ground, my eyes stalking her every move. I tried to come up with a plan, because for all my confidence, Sulpicia was still an ancient vampire that not even Esme or Rosalie had been able to take down.

Okay, seriously, why was I so convinced I could beat her?

"Have you had enough of the small talk? Or were you just remembering the way Alice dropped off the face of the earth again? I'm sure you've replayed it in your head over and over and over…"

Oh, yeah. Now I remember.

All thoughts of a plan were wiped from my mind. My vampire took over instantly and I bolted forward with so much ferocity and rage and hurt that I literally kicked up the floor behind me.

There was no Bella anymore. There was no human me. My instincts took over, my vampire took over. I honestly don't remember a lot of what was running through my mind. It was all a vicious blur of animalistic hate and fire.

It's scary to lose yourself like that…

I went down on all fours. My mouth was hanging wide open and my fangs were fully extended. Venom burned the inside of my mouth as Sulpicia stood sneering at me and the Cullens screams echoed in my skull.

I was at her in a split second, throwing my hand out to claw her stupid, smug face.

Something nobody ever told me about fighting was that you are never supposed to make the move because that means your opponent can easily counter it, especially when your opponent is an evil two thousand year old vampire.

My hand was a centimeter from her when she hit me.

Sulpicia drove her foot so hard into my chest that I thought it went through it. I went sailing back and before I'd even hit the ground, she was hitting me again, grabbing me by the throat and slamming me into the floor.

Pain exploded inside of me, but the rage dimmed it all away.

But I couldn't feel Rosalie's power…

It wasn't there, strengthening me enough so that I could fight this ancient vampire. I struggled to bring it up, but I couldn't force it.

Why wasn't it overtaking me like before? Why couldn't I _feel_ it?

"Had enough yet, newborn? Does it hurt enough yet, cygnet?" Sulpicia hissed down at me and tightened her fingers on my throat, cracking my skin as if it were glass as she kept me pinned down.

I snarled up at her, met her ruby red eyes with my own amber glare, but she laughed, yanked me out of the crater I'd left in the floor and threw me like I was weightless. I staggered for my balance but that wasn't even an option when her knuckles slammed into my jaw before I had even looked up to see it coming.

I crumpled, my instincts screaming at me to _move_.

I tried but Sulpicia laughed again and socked me so hard that I felt my brain turn to mush as I was vaulted off my feet to land on my back five feet away.

Fuck, this was going badly.

"You have to move, Bella! You have to move or you will _die_!"

So maybe it wasn't my instincts, but Esme screaming at me.

"_Or_? Moving won't save you, Isabella! Move all you want, even dance circles around me if you desire it! You will die either way," Sulpicia sneered at me as I struggled to my feet, pieces of my skin falling off of me.

God, what on earth had I been thinking? That I could beat Sulpicia in a fight? Had I even thought about the possibility that I might not be able to use that super strength?

No, because I was stupid and blinded by my heartache.

"That is to say, all of Alice's fancy footwork sure didn't save her."

And that was where Sulpicia made her mistake.

Rosalie's power rip roared through me. My muscles snapped taut, my cells fired all together and my body lunged forward without my permission.

I hit that bitch so hard that when she hit the ground, she just kept sliding, knocking marble and granite up around her. I moved so fast that it was a wonder I could even see to stop next to her still body thirty feet away and swoop down to slam my elbow into her face, and then my other one, again and again.

I rained down the blows on her like hell itself powered me. I cracked and shattered the armor of her face and chest.

But there is something to be said for the skill of ancient vampires…

Sulpicia snarled that ungodly snarl, wrapped her arms around my waist and surged up, sending us back to our feet. I locked my legs to keep from being thrown, bellowing the whole time, sank my claws into her back as she sent us spinning and rolling around the Court.

The Cullens were yelling and Aro let loose a helpless cry.

We hit the floor, came back up, hit the floor again, came back up one more time, and then Sulpicia kicked me in the face with the power of what really seemed to be a thousand of her guards.

I dropped like a rock to her feet and felt her knee slam into my forehead a second later, sending me flat onto my back again.

_Damn _it.

Damn, damn, damn!

_Damn _it!

She was _so _powerful. Even imbued with Rosalie's strength, she would not go down.

I couldn't lose here. I couldn't let her live on. I had to kill this bitch, I had to…

"Keep moving, Bella! Keep moving!"

Was that my subconscious or Esme again? I couldn't tell.

My insides were burning up. I was panting as Sulpicia kicked me again, brutally snapping my ribs for the third time in my life. I wailed in pain, my vampire infuriated at being knocked down again.

With a huge burst of speed, I lurched off the ground and, god, how could I get any dumber?

I cracked my forehead against Sulpicia's with all the power I could throw into it, head butting the ever loving shit out of her snarling face.

Second most important rule of a fight: Nobody wins with a head butt.

Sulpicia swore as we rebounded off of each other and I yelped, stumbling back as white light burst behind my eye lids.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Bella.

_Stupid_.

Sulpicia cradled her skull as I crouched a few feet away from her, growling and rumbling my heart out.

For Alice. I had to kill her, for Alice.

That damned mantra came back to me. It only made the hurt worse, but my body stronger.

_Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. Alice is dead, Alice is gone. _

"You'll have to do better than that unless you plan on joining Alice in her grave! Maybe if you hurry up and die you can see her before she's completely rotted and decayed!"

She just didn't learn. Insulting Alice, throwing her death back in my face would only get her a one way ticket to an ass whooping.

It all built up and exploded inside me at that moment. It was one comment too far, too much.

It was all I needed.

"_FUCK YOU_!"

My voice was not my own, but something demonic, possessed by the beast rearing its head inside me.

In the blink of an eye, I was on her with everything I had. Sulpicia couldn't even dodge or block any of it. My shoulder slammed into her ribs and sent her sprawling. I mounted her waist and felt the muscles of my back and arms tear as my knuckles snapped across her face, again and again and again.

It didn't stop. Hundreds of punches were thrown into her face.

I had no control over it.

I was no longer human in any way.

There was no more Bella.

I was nothing but hate and fury and pain and I wanted to pour it all over that bitch and melt her out of my sight.

If I had been able to think clearly, maybe I would have pulled at her neck, ripped her head off while I had the advantage and ended it right then.

But I wasn't thinking clearly.

I wasn't thinking at all.

The connection I had with Alice was flaring without mercy, telling me to hurt her, to beat her into a pile of marble and knock her out of _existence_…

I paid for the mindless rage and hatred. Sulpicia found the inevitable opening in my blows and despite the fact that her entire face was gray from having all of the armor knocked off of it, she still hit me so hard that I saw stars.

Her fist shot out, caught me in the nose. And then her waist bucked up high, impossibly high, threw me over her head and off of her.

I crashed down ten feet away, angry and hurting and out of my goddamn mind.

But again, being over two thousand years old will really do something for a person's power…

Sulpicia was on me before I could stop it. My body was aching already from using so much of Rosalie's power again and I felt myself weakening.

No…No…

I couldn't slow down yet. She was still moving, still alive…

I knew then, with a sudden certainty that I was going to _lose_.

Sulpicia seemed to put everything she had in the next strike. She bowed up and threw her whole body weight behind the punch she aimed straight at my already cracked chest.

It was like being hit by a freight train. A brief memory of speaking to Carlisle flashed across my eyes before my breath blew out of me with a helpless, high pitched noise. Thunder shot through my whole being and like a switch had been thrown, lightning shot down my spine and Rosalie's power was extinguished.

Her fist shot through my chest and out through my back. I staggered back, my eyes wide and locked onto hers. I saw them twinkle with victory.

And then she ripped her arm back out, pulling at my insides and shattering my skin with a sound like breaking glass.

I stood, staring at her in shock, feeling nothing as my hand went to the gaping hole in my chest. Her gray mouth pulled itself into a horrible, malevolent sneer.

"I win," she said simply and I keeled over, my head thudding into the floor and breaking my fall.

The Cullens were screaming their lungs out, begging for me to get up, pleading, their voices echoing in my head like ghostly whispers.

It's a terrible thing to have a hole punched through your body. The pain was intense and shocked me to my core. I couldn't breathe, couldn't find it in myself to scream. It hurt more than when Alice hit me going thirty miles an hour down the hallway.

The physical pain is intense, yes.

But I'm talking about that deep, emotional trauma of knowing, wholeheartedly, that despite how convinced you were that you were going to win, you _lost_.

You lost _everything_. You gave your all, _everything_ you had for a cause that you _needed_ fulfilled, and you still.

Lost.

I lost. She beat me. My eyes were latched onto the ceiling as I gaped for air that I didn't really need, heard the sound of thunder begin to ring out in the Court.

Vaguely, I knew the Cullens had unleashed hell on this place. I knew they had to be fighting, knew that I should stand up and fight with them, keep going, get up, get up, get up…

It wasn't possible. I couldn't do it. I couldn't make my legs move, make my throat work, make my _mind_ work.

I was burnt out, done, _lost_.

She won. Sulpicia won.

_God fucking DAMN IT! _

How could I have messed up so badly? How could it all end this way?

My Alice, my Alice, I failed her. I failed her with gusto, losing in just one KO punch that drove me down to the ground like the beaten animal I was. The connection inside me quivered, broken and grieving violently because I couldn't avenge her.

I couldn't do anything at all but stare up at the ceiling and listen to the sounds of war around me, hear Sulpicia laughing her evil, cruel laugh and wait to die.

My Alice, my Alice…

I felt the desperation flood me. It couldn't go down like this, it just couldn't! I had already lost her, how could I lose here to? Lose myself, the Cullens, _everything_!

Fucking. _Damn_. It!

Where are you when I need you Alice? Why aren't you here to save me again? Why did you have to _die_?

If you have ever read a book and then someone made it into a movie, and that movie looked just like that book did in your head when you were reading it, then you will know what I witnessed above me then.

The vision I'd had a few days ago when I was still sure that I could win against Sulpicia and be damned the odds was coming to life before me.

It started with one crack, like the way a crack starts in a vampire's skin when they've been hit. It shot out along the ceiling and I dimly wondered if I was losing my sanity as it happened. The claps of thunder continued to echo through the court as the Cullens gave everything they had, just like in the vision, except now I knew where the sound was coming from. The ground began to quiver beneath me.

More fractures split along the ceiling, mapping out like spider webs along the marble. I was dizzy, confused, but I knew what came next.

"Ready to die, yet, Isabella?" Sulpicia's voice sounded far away though I knew she was standing close to me.

Not yet Sulpicia. Not yet.

The ground gave a sharp shake from left to right and vertigo hit me hard.

With a sharp CRACK, the loudest clap of thunder yet rang out. Like meteors, huge chunks of marble shuddered and broke loose from the mass and began to fall towards the floor.

"_Look out!_" A feminine voice I didn't recognize screamed.

I was still too hurt to do anything but lay there and watch it happen. The fighting seemed to have stopped as yelling broke out instead and the whole sky seemed to be falling down on the Court. The huge bricks of marble hit the ground and shook it even harder. My brain rattled in my skull from how hard the earth seemed to be rocking.

I had to be dreaming.

None of it could be real. I watched in awe, as if God's hand had come down to smite me as the ceiling broke and a massive hole opened up in the world like it had been opened up in my chest by Sulpicia. Flashes of blue caught my eye as I heard Sulpicia swear and knew she had darted away from me to get out of the way of falling rubble.

What in the fuck was happening? Seriously?

Of all the things I had experienced in my life that I didn't expect or understand, this one really just took the whole messed up cake.

Was I Chicken Little watching the sky fall? Was this how I was going to die? Was this the apocalypse come at the most strange moment possible?

Above me, one great bit of marble broke away from the fray of falling ceiling and began to head straight for me.

I found myself wishing for the death that zoomed down on me as my skeleton seemed to be shaking right out of my body by the rocking ground.

Fine, Life, if this is how you want to leave me, go for it.

There's nothing I can do anymore. I failed. I lost. Sulpicia is still alive and will almost certainly make it out of this hell alive.

As I resigned myself to the end, I felt strong arms scoop me up and I sobbed at the agony that shot through me from the gaping hole in my chest. I was lifted and tossed like a football, out of the way of the massive rock that seemed intent on turning me into a smear on the ground.

I hit the quaking ground and rolled to my knees, retching and clawing at my chest as the whole world continued to shake in front of my eyes, only rocking harder when that huge bit of marble crashed into the ground where I'd been lying a moment before. Dust, debris and explosive sound kicked up and blinded me as I knelt and clung to my sanity with everything I had.

My instincts pleaded for an outlet, for everything to just _stop_.

And as suddenly as it all started, it _did_ stop.

The ground went still.

The sky stopped falling.

As the dust slowly settled and my heart made a break for that hole in my chest, crying _Freedom!_ I even felt sunshine warming the back of my neck, tender and soft through the haze.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Reality check.

Am I alive?

Yes, seems so.

Am I seriously hurt?

Uh, no shit. I've just burnt myself out again using Rosalie's powers and have a hole through my body, but no big deal, that's nothing really new.

But what about everyone else? The Cullens?

I don't know how I did it, so don't ask me. All I know is that I felt an invisible force whispering at me to get up, find out what happened.

For Alice, right? For Alice…

You're not dead yet, Swan. So keep. Fucking. Moving.

Get up. Get up.

Get _up_.

I staggered to my feet, whining at the pain that went through me. The dust was clearing and I struggled to see.

My mind refused to accept what it finally saw when the haze finally dissipated enough.

You have to understand, I thought I really had died at that point. I thought I was insane, or dead, or both, and this was the afterlife.

But it had to have been heaven…

Standing in the rubble were at least a hundred vampires, appearing out of the smoke like ethereal angels, or devils, I couldn't tell. The room had been utterly transformed by the chaos. They stood on the fallen ceiling, in the breaks between the debris, all crouched down and hissing, creating a sound like one gigantic, angry snake. I saw arms and legs hanging out from under the rubble and knew most of those limbs belonged to the Volturi guard. I prayed none of them belonged to the Cullens.

Their eyes were all locked on one other vampire, and my heart tried to leap out through the hole in my chest again when I realized it was _Sulpicia_.

But that wasn't what really convinced me that I was dreaming, insane, or dead.

Because standing not five feet from me and smiling like no time had passed and nothing had happened since I'd last seen her, with a halo of dust dancing around her perfect, pretty face and making her seem like the angel she really was…

Oh god, it was _Alice_!

"Hey, Bella."


	40. Checkmate

"Hey, Bella."

Hey Bella.

Hey Bella.

Hey, Bella.

Jesus Christ, for all the times I have praised Alice Cullen for her tact, the first thing she said to me after everything that had happened was just: "Hey, Bella."

Hey.

Like I'm just some old pal and she'd showed up at my doorstep to hang out for a little while.

But those two words brought me back to life.

I tried to deny it. I tried to convince myself I was dreaming, or insane, that I'd really been hit by that huge chunk of ceiling and was now in Lala Land, where everything I wanted to be real was real.

If you recall, my first defense mechanism had always been denial.

But there was no denying her. Not my Alice, never my Alice.

As I stared at her dust-shimmering, beautiful face and that hopeful, reassuring smile, something inside me came rushing up and together and exploded like a firework inside my heart.

The connection that I believed had severed in me when she had fallen into oblivion resealed within a split second. The atoms knotted back together, my DNA seemed to regenerate, and the hole in my chest seemed nonexistent because my mate was alive and here and…

And real.

_God_, she had to be real.

Because if she wasn't…

She had to be. She _had_ to be real.

The joyously squealing connection deep inside me proved it.

"Alice!" I sobbed out and took one unsteady, unsure step forward. My hand lifted of its own accord and reached for her, desperately hoping that it wouldn't pass through her as if she were a mirage. I wasn't close enough to actually touch her and I watched as beautiful honey eyes widened slightly and the beaming smile slipped from her face.

"Bella!"

Her voice made the connection inside me soar.

Her arms wrapped around me and I was falling into her.

She was real. She was _real_.

Alice was _alive_!

Alive, alive, _alive_!

She was _alive_, not dead, _here_, not gone!

And she smelled fucking _amazing_.

September rain and frost flooded my senses and I didn't know how to react when her arms enveloped me, pulled me into a body I swore I'd never see or touch again. I sobbed out hard, clinging to the pretty black blouse with a yellow bow on it that she was wearing, the simple but elegant top that was just so her…

I think I really did go a little crazy for a while there as I collapsed into her, hugging her so closely, so fiercely.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard her gasping into my ear. "Was that-is that a _hole_ in your chest?"

Okay?

O-kay?

O-fucking-kay?

"NO, I am not okay! I mean, yes, I-_Oh my god_, Alice _how_-"

My outburst caused her to clutch me tighter as I sobbed openly. How could she just-just ask me such a simple question? Such a stupid, stupid question!

Am I okay? No, I'm losing my fucking mind and I love it because Alice is here, right in front of me and moving and faux breathing and holding me in her arms.

"Sorry, sorry, stupid question," I heard her chuckle helplessly and inhale sharply.

She's chuckling. My Alice is actually chuckling at me right now.

Just…No. Not cool.

"Alice, Alice, god, please tell me you're here, please tell me this is real! _Please_," I cried out.

I still couldn't believe it. Alice had been without a doubt dead. I had _felt_ her die, deep in my _soul_.

But now my soul was flying in the opposite direction, doing pirouettes and back flips because she wasn't _dead_.

Impossibly, she was real and here and so, so perfectly _alive_…

"I'm here, Bella, I'm here. I'm real, Bells, I swear. I'm here, sweet girl, I'm here, it's okay…"

Her words, her voice, everything was too much.

I screwed my eyes shut, sank my fangs into the cool granite of her shoulder and whined and sobbed into her, embracing her so tightly that I'm sure it must have been uncomfortable. Her skin tasted like holy water on my tongue after spending years dying in the desert.

"How, how, how…"

I didn't understand, couldn't comprehend. My mate, my Alice…

I pulled her so close to my body in an effort to bring her into me, keep her close so she could never, ever disappear on me again, and never go away, never, never, never ever again. I had to make sure she wasn't going to disappear into the gloom, a fantasy I'd made up in my head in the hell of the world coming down on me like that.

"You were dead, Alice, _dead_! How are you here? You can't be real, you're not real!"

Oh, wait, there's that denial. I knew it had to be creeping around here somewhere.

Jesus, though, it's not like my denial was uncalled for!

How was she here? Just _how_?

"Bells, oh, Bella…" Alice whispered into my hair, her arms wrapped just as tightly around me. "I'm here, I'm alive, I promise you, I'm _here_…"

I whined again, unable to believe her. My head was swimming with disbelief as I desperately tried to cope with the emotions flooding me.

I felt her nuzzle my neck. The sensation made me weak in the knees, and no, I knew it wasn't any of my other injuries that had me swooning into her.

"I'm alive, I'm not going anywhere. I'll _never_ do that to you again, I _swear_ it. I'm right here…"

Like Alice always could, she brought me back to earth, back to my sanity, soothed my hysteria, rubbed gentle circles over my back, whispered just the right things to make me really, honestly believe that she was actually real, here, and alive.

"Alice," I whimpered when she slowly tried to draw back.

No freaking way was I letting her go. I didn't have that physical ability at the moment. I had just gotten her back.

Fuck that, I wasn't letting her go for anything.

"Bella, honey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere," Alice attempted to calm me down but I wasn't having it.

"_Don't_, don't let go. _Please_," I gasped and she chuckled breathlessly into my ear, a watery sound that made my heart pound helplessly.

"Trust me, that's the _last_ thing I want to do right now, but you have to let me finish this. Just let me finish this, Bella, and it'll all be over and I'll be _right here_ with you and we never have to be apart again…"

Um, let me think about that for a second.

Okay, got it.

Fuck. No.

"Alice," I whined pathetically but she eased me as gently as possible away from her.

She ended up holding me at arm's length and beaming that perfect, gleaming smile at me again. The sight of it wiped my mind clean.

Talk about lovesick. No words, man. Cut me a break.

I think I deserved to feel all warm and fuzzy for a tiny moment.

I finally registered that we were not alone on some fluffy cloud in heaven, floating blissfully along over, untouchable.

The vampires in the room were still hissing their heads off, and to my exhausting frustration, the Volturi were still very much alive and kicking.

Well, Sulpicia was doing most of the kicking.

My eyes shot over Alice's shoulder and landed on the ancient vampire. They went at her in twos and threes which was nowhere near enough to bring her down even as damaged as she was from our fight. Her face was completely unhinged and wild and all gray, but Sulpicia still swatted them away like flies and I could hear screaming coming from multiple vampires at alternating intervals and knew Jane was holding her own, too.

I saw Zafrina camped next to Sulpicia, her red eyes flicking from each attacker to the next as soon as they made an attempt to go after Sulpicia, undoubtedly making them see unreal things to distract them so Sulpicia could knock them back. (And the sight actually made me feel better, because it meant Zafrina wasn't mind fucking me into believing Alice was here when she wasn't.) Alec stood near to them and I saw Jane right by him. Anyone that tried to get close to them was shut down immediately. Red eyes blocked all forms of attack.

I searched desperately for the Cullens and saw them at the back of the herd of vampires that had magically appeared there, all together and watching the failed attempt of those brave enough to try and attack get put down effortlessly.

They didn't even know Alice was here…

"Bella, sweetheart, you need to listen to me."

Gladly, my goddess.

My attention was instantly on my mate and I whimpered at the sight of her, still unbelieving that she was here and alive and okay and so untouched by it all.

Oh, Alice, how I'd missed her…

Wait, she was saying something to me. Getting lost in her eyes probably wasn't the best idea right then.

"I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming. How are you here, Alice? _How_?" I begged her to give me a reason, to help me understand.

Because honestly, I wasn't comprehending jack shit at that moment. I had no possible way of dealing with this.

All I really wanted was to bury my face in her shoulder and hide away from everything, stay as close as I could to Alice, cling to her, never let her go again.

"I know, Bella, I know, you don't understand but honey, it's time to end all of this. I know you're scared and confused right now and really want to know how I'm alive, but we can go over all that later," Alice spoke to me fervently, gripping my face tightly in her hands.

"Later? _Later_? What if there never _is_ a later? What if you really are just a fantasy in my head and you disappear? I can't-Alice, _please_-"

She couldn't just brush this off, say 'In a little while' about this. This was something that had erased my entire sense of being, turned me into an entirely different person, and now she was just popping back in like _nothing ever happened_?

What the fuuuck.

Don't get me wrong, I was out of my mind with happiness and couldn't keep my eyes off of her beautiful form, but she was literally back from the dead.

She had to do something to help me out because if she didn't start explaining I was going to lapse back into denial, if I had ever really left it.

And how am I supposed to pay attention to everything that's happening when my back-from-the-dead-mate was holding me in her small, lovely hands and looking me right in the eye?

Focus, Bella, focus.

You can fall apart in relief and emotional bliss later.

"You and me, we're gonna finish this, okay? Those vampires are going to help us do it. I need you to stay calm. I know it's not easy, seriously, you have a fist sized hole in your chest and I'm trying very, very hard not to freak out about that-" Alice's eyes flickered down to my chest to the hole I'd actually forgotten was there -and miraculously actually couldn't feel any more in the wake of her presence- and then back up to my face. Her honey eyes looked a bit frantic but I could see her trying to hold it together.

Alright, so maybe I was a bit ignorant of her own fears. That hole was disgusting. You could see right through me.

Alice clearly didn't like that, but she pushed herself on as if to keep control of herself.

"We're going to get the others and we're going to kill that bitch, yeah? There's a plan, you just have to follow it. I've got it covered. I really, really need you to trust me right now. This is real, Bella. I'm real, and I'm going to make it all okay. I promise you that. You just have to _trust me_."

Alice always did have a way with words, but this time they kind of really scared the hell out of me.

Who said we had to do anything else? I had only wanted to kill Sulpicia because I thought she had murdered Alice in the first place! Why did we have to end it?

"What? Alice, why can't we just _run_? Get the others and leave? We don't have to-you don't have to do anything, let's just leave, please, I don't want to risk losing you again, I don't even know how you're here at all-Mmph-"

Dead.

She killed me.

Alice killed me.

Soft, pink, heart shaped lips pressed to mine. They covered my mouth in plush bliss and my eyes clamped shut of their own accord as I clung to her wrists and kissed her back hungrily, desperately, like a mad woman.

How many times had I imagined doing this again? How many times had I ached knowing I would never be able to kiss Alice again?

Alice demonstrated her knack for making me speechless quite easily as my mind went ecstatically blank again under her touch.

Her lips tasted just as good as I'd remembered, better, better than ever. Kissing Alice had never been so amazing, so unworldly awesome as when I'd thought I would never be able to do it again and then _did_ get to do it again.

My heart leapt, my skin raced with tingles, my soul soared in delight.

When she finally pulled back, I chased her, but she grinned and dodged my eager lips.

Whoa, there, tiger. Bring it back.

The angel choir was sighing in the background and I actually couldn't think straight for a moment.

Focus, focus, focus…

Nope, I still just really wanted to kiss her again.

And again and again and again.

Never stop kissing her.

It's not like we had anything else to do, anyway-

Oh. Oh, yes we did.

It was Alice's fault for making me punch drunk with her lips. Not my fault.

"I'm sorry," Alice was blushing then. Her cute, sweet, light pink blush. "That was a terrible moment to-I mean, I'm not sorry, I just really wanted to-"

"Don't ever be sorry for that," I'm sure my face was almost creepy in its acceptance of that kiss.

She was actually apologizing for kissing me…As if I'd ever be upset about that…

Alice smiled at me then, sheepishly. I smiled back at her despite the madness echoing around us and how undeniably, completely confused out of my mind I was. Because Alice was smiling at me and right then, like every other time, I had to smile back.

Somehow, everything had to be okay. Everything had to be looking up because Alice was back.

Alice was alive…

"Bella, we can't just run from this. You know that. Even if we did run, Sulpicia would just hunt us down again and this time, she really would kill me-"

I interrupted her with a ferocious growl.

"Like hell-"

"She would and you know it, Bella, so just listen to me, we don't have much time!" Alice grabbed my shoulders, her voice rising slightly in volume as those vampires attacking the Volturi grew more and more restless after each failed attempt.

I shut up and listened. When Alice looked at you like that, you did what she said.

"Don't tell the others I'm here. We don't have time for a family reunion. Here's the plan, okay?"

As Alice began murmuring her plan to me, I found myself experiencing a deep sense of peace within the storm raging around us. Her words made sense. The plan was good, and it had to work, even though it left me breathless with fear.

Fear that something would go wrong, that I would lose her again. Fear that it wouldn't work and Sulpicia would manage, somehow, some way though Alice had made it virtually impossible for her to do so, to come out on top.

Fear because it meant separating from Alice, for however briefly. I almost couldn't handle it. I almost told her no, told her fuck that plan, we're leaving and never, ever coming back. But we couldn't do that and I knew it, as terrified as I was of losing her all over again when I hadn't even had her back for five minutes…

But Alice, so brilliant and strong and cunning…

The plan would work. It was foolproof. She could properly see the future, so she had to know that it would work. But that didn't mean I still wasn't scared out of my mind.

Still, she was my hero. There was no denying that.

Alice always did have a way of saving the day when it came down to it…

When Alice finished telling me the plan, several sharp cracks rang out and we both turned to see ten of her vampires going down in a ruthless assault by the Volturi with Sulpicia leading the way. Alice wouldn't tell me how she came across such an army, but it was clear that time had run out.

It was time to act.

I desperately wished for a potty break, because I was about to pee myself.

Alice, though, was brilliant under pressure. She turned back to me, gave me an encouraging smile and a peck on the cheek, and then darted off into the rubble to my right, out of sight.

It took everything I had not to follow her. I was still half sure I was dreaming and none of it was real.

But I had to trust her. I had to trust Alice. I had nothing left but that to hold on to.

I almost had an aneurism when I realized I'd forgotten to tell her one important thing.

That I loved her.

Fuck, I hated myself and had to literally force my feet to move towards the Cullens and not the direction she'd gone in just to profess my love for her, to let her know what she already knew.

It seems that being reunited with a mate you thought you'd lost will do wonders for your pain receptors. As I sprinted to the Cullens, I felt that I still had one good go left to give in me even though earlier I thought I'd been done for good, hole in my chest be damned.

The Cullens turned to me in shock as I reached them.

I had to wave off their shouts and cries of concern and astonishment, had to calm them down quickly.

That was harder than it seemed.

"Guys, guys, I'm fine. Listen-no, Esme I-_listen to me_. I have a plan. _I. Have. A. Plan_. Yes, Edward, it will work. I _promise. _And I know I have a hole in my chest, Emmett and yeah, it hurts like a bitch. Stop fuckin'-Quit _glaring_ at me, Rose. It's going to _work_. You guys just have to trust me, we don't have much time. The Volturi are pressing forward. _Trust me_."

Their eyes turned to me; Esme's, Jasper's, Edward's, Emmett's, Rosalie's. I wondered briefly where Carlisle was. He had to be alive, otherwise Esme would be having a fit.

I saw it in their eyes though. They were putting their faith in me, like I had to put my faith in Alice.

Thank god, because if they didn't, we were well and truly fucked.

"Okay, Bella. We're listening…" Esme gave me a weak, half assed smile that I didn't return.

Alright. Time to get down to business.

Sulpicia wouldn't know what hit her.

Hint: It had something to do with mine, Rosalie's, and Alice's fists.

"Right. So here's the plan…"

Alice really is a bloody genius.

A bloody, back from the dead genius.

Still don't believe this is real…

Gotta roll with it though. Roll with it or die, I guess.

"Hey, everybody! LISTEN UP!" I called out, moving through the herd of vampires crouched down and hissing at the Volturi. They all turned to me, like one single, creepy being, just like Alice said they would.

It was ridiculously reassuring to know that her future-seeing ability was better than ever.

"You guys know what to do, right?" I yelled, looking to as many of them as I could. "You're ready for this?"

"Oh please, Swan, give it a rest! Didn't I tell you even a thousand of my own elite guards couldn't match me? This rag tag lot of pathetic vampires can't touch me!" Sulpicia's voice rang out over mine and I looked at her then, my eyebrows arching up even as the vampire inside me growled at the sound of her horrible voice.

She had no idea what was coming to her.

But I meant it when I told her she deserved it.

"Wanna bet?" I smirked at her, feeling the Cullens on my heels as we stood in the middle of them all and the destroyed Court. I honestly had to wonder what the hell had happened to break the place apart like that.

But thankfully it did, because it gave Alice the way to come up with a brilliant but insane plan.

"Gladly," Sulpicia sneered back at me, her face a hundred times more ugly without its marble covering. The rest of her people stood surrounding her. I didn't know where Chelsea, Aro, Marcus or Caius were.

"You should know better than to bet against someone who can see the future," I replied loftily, and then spoke the words Alice had instructed me to.

"Get them!"

…Not the most creative code words in the world, but they did their job.

A hundred vampires descended on the Volturi at once, roaring and roaring and roaring so loudly that the ground seemed to shake again. They lunged and the Volturi were immediately overwhelmed.

All except for Sulpicia…As Alice had expected.

Jane's powers could only affect one person at a time, though Alec's could take down many. I had learned that he had the ability to cause sense deprivation, but that wasn't nearly enough to block the swarm that enveloped him and his creepy little shit of a sister. I watched them go down screaming, together.

Their heads came flying out seconds later.

It was really freaky, if I'm being totally honest. Really gruesome, despite how much I despised them.

Zafrina was smarter. She stayed right next to Sulpicia even as the vampires bore down on them in a monstrous wave. I saw the first line go down yelling but I had no idea what she was making them see. It was something powerful, though, because it brought at least fifteen of them to their knees.

Thankfully, there was plenty to take their place.

But it's unreal how strong Sulpicia was. She blasted ten, fifteen, twenty away, even in groups they were too weak to touch her. She snarled her ungodly snarl at them and slapped, kicked, punched them away like newborn kittens.

Another thirty came at her. This time, some of them got through. Sulpicia was knocked back as Zafrina struggled to keep her red eyes moving, protecting her queen.

But she got distracted, and the rest of the horde came down on her. The crack of her neck came seconds after her distressed cry.

Seeing the last of her warriors go down seemed to infuriate Sulpicia. She screamed in rage, that insanity overtaking her. I saw her lock eyes on several vampires, watched her swing her hand out in some silent command, watched as they turned on their brethren and began to fight them instead. The inner quarreling gave Sulpicia enough room to fight back every other attacker until at last the waves of vampires stopped and their numbers seemed to be _halved_.

Fucking _halved_…

A hundred soldiers brought down to half by one woman…

I could barely handle myself even with my powers. Sulpicia stood her own now against inconceivable odds, and for the first time in a long time, I was actually afraid of her abilities.

Not because of what she could do to me, but because of the fact that Alice was already in a dangerous position again, one that could easily get her killed if any of us messed up.

How had I ever thought that I could beat her alone?

Good thing I had back up this time.

Talk about who and what army…

"ENOUGH!" Sulpicia suddenly exploded and the waves of attacking vampires were brought to an abrupt halt by her screech.

She had killed a lot of them and incapacitated even more. I didn't know these people. I didn't know why they were here, fighting for us, because Alice hadn't had time to tell me, but I felt for those lying dead at her feet. I couldn't count how many, but the number we'd started with had severely dwindled.

Again, I guessed at least of half of them had been brought down by her.

Anyone who would stand against this bitch and fight her, to the death, fearlessly like that was in my good books for eternity. She had attempted to kill my mate, made me think she'd succeeded, taken my whole life and the lives of people I loved and messed with them, called them pawns in her sick, twisted game…

So those who would stand with me against her? I would forever be grateful to them.

Just not so sure why they're here, exactly, and where in the world they came from…

I felt bad for standing back and just watching. I could feel Rosalie next to me, itching to get into the fray, but it wasn't time yet. Almost, not yet.

"Don't you see how useless it is? You will never beat me! Look at all your comrades! They are _dead_! You will not beat me, EVER!" Sulpicia bellowed out to everyone. The vampires had moved back, warily. They watched her, some with golden eyes, some with red, most with black.

This was my cue. When they all backed off, it was time for us to go in.

This was the part that left me shaking with anxiety.

_This_ was the part where Alice came in to play.

I had had to warn the Cullens that something shocking was going to happen, something they weren't going to expect out of anything. But they had to keep going, because if they hesitated, we were all done for.

I could only hope and pray that they didn't, because it was Alice's life on the line here.

"You're losing it, Sulpicia!" I called out, slowly moving forward. The Cullens stayed close to me. I suddenly felt a strong connection to each of them. We moved as one, close, a family, a coven, like a pack of animals hunting side by side.

Sulpicia's black eyes shot to me and pierced me like twin swords.

"Losing it? Don't speak to me in your primal human slang, cygnet!" she scoffed, though her eyes were wild and her hair was swept back in knots.

I still don't know what the hell a cygnet is, but I had to keep her talking. I had to keep her eyes on us. She couldn't turn away. She couldn't turn back.

If she turned around and saw that shadow creeping around the boulder of marble behind her, it was done.

Alice was done for.

"You're right, I take that back. You never really had it to begin with, did you? Your whole life has been one big fucked up mess, huh?" I said grimly, still moving forward. Sulpicia watched us like a hawk does its prey, eyeing us with no fear, no regrets.

Gotta admit, she's got balls. Crazy bitch…

"You would know nothing of it," she spat, her gray upper lip curling back in an ugly snarl, revealing her inch long fangs.

"Probably not. All I know is it turned you into a psychotic, hateful, hypocritical bitch with a stick up her ass," I kept talking, trying to remember some of the insults Alice had told me to use instead of wondering how quickly I'd have to move to grab Alice to make a run for it.

Everything we were doing suddenly seemed suicidal. Alice's plan suddenly seemed weak and stupid.

I had to trust her. I had to trust her. I _had_ to. There was no turning back now.

"Why don't you come here and say that to my face, newborn? Last time you tried that you ended up with my fist coming out through your back, though. I must say, I'm surprised that you're even on your feet, let alone talking…" Sulpicia said haughtily.

Almost to the mark. Almost close enough to make our move. Sulpicia stood only twenty feet away, but it seemed like an inch to me.

A vampire can cover twenty feet in only two seconds. Two seconds to end everything.

To a vampire, two seconds is nothing at all…

She was powerful, a vicious predator. There was no doubt about that. Killing her would have to be flawless, or one of us would die.

Just not Alice. Anyone but Alice…

The shadow behind Sulpicia grew clearer as we slowed to a stop, with Esme stepping ahead of all of us. I fought hard to keep my eyes on Sulpicia and not let them wander to my mate, who moved silently out of the rubble, behind Sulpicia.

Fuck, please let this work, please let it work, _please_…

If only for my Alice. If only to keep her alive and in my arms.

I can't lose her again. I just can't…

"Sulpicia!" Esme shouted and the ancient vampire's eyes seemed to soften an infinitesimal amount at the sound of her voice.

It's astonishing how Sulpicia seems to melt for Esme…

And I almost, almost felt bad for what we were about to do.

For like, a tiny millisecond.

And then it was gone again.

"Yes, Effy?"

"It's time to end this. I need you to know that I never wanted any of this to happen. I always wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry it's come to this. Just know that I always loved you…And as much as I…_Resent_ you for everything you've done…I bid you leave this world with peace, Sulpicia."

Sulpicia's head had just cocked to the side in curiosity, in amusement at the thought that Esme really believed she was going to die, her mouth just opened to reply with something undoubtedly condescending and scathing…

When Esme lunged.

My heart failed in that moment, but I moved without thinking. I was on Esme's heels and Rosalie was on mine, all three of us one, single blur streaking across the room, right for Sulpicia.

Her black eyes widened in shock. She postured up, but she couldn't hit Esme.

That had been the one variable in this whole plan.

What if she could hit Esme despite her supposed love for her?

She couldn't do anything. Sulpicia only stared, wide eyed as her ex lover came bearing down on her, as if star struck.

Esme ducked out at the last second, darting to the left as I roared and swung my right fist with everything I had, throwing all of my weight behind it. I felt Rosalie's power stutter through me with one final burst, stealing my mind for a brief moment. I put all the hatred, hurt, and pain she'd caused me into that swing; every last bit of the agony I'd suffered through at her hands.

This was it. If this didn't work, we were doomed.

I felt the soft gray skin give under my knuckles, watched her stagger back from the force of the blow. I felt something wet on my skin but I could do nothing but get out of the way as Raging Rosalie came right after me, snarling and hit that bitch with a wicked left hook that sent her stumbling even farther back.

Something black sprayed the ground around Sulpicia as I turned on my heel after having stumbled past her, trying to keep my balance after throwing it all off for the sake of knocking her fucking teeth in.

Before she could react, before she could do anything but gasp and reach for her wrecked face, Alice was there.

Alice.

She moved in for the kill, swift, like lightning. Her pale arms came up under Sulpicia's chin, wrapped tight and she pulled up with a cry, wrenching the ancient vampire's neck back and away.

Sulpicia had just enough time to gasp out the last word she'd ever speak as her charcoal eyes rolled back to see Alice Cullen gripping her throat.

"_You_!"

A sound like shattering glass echoed throughout the chamber as Sulpicia's head came away from her body in one, smooth motion, following the movement of Alice's arms.

And it was all over as Alice backed away quickly, Sulpicia's head fell to the floor and her body slumped down to her knees before keeling over sideways.

I was dumbfounded.

It had worked.

It had _worked_, just like Alice said it would.

I put all of my faith in her and she made me love her a million, billion, trillion times more for it, because she kept that promise to me, that she was here, and she was going to make it all okay.

And she _did_. She so did…

I think that was the moment where any doubts that I had that I was awake and not dreaming that Alice had come back to me to save the day melted away. Up until then, I hadn't fully believed it was all happening. A part of me still thought I was smashed under that rock, dreaming a hopeful dream in the arms of death.

Until that moment…

The room was deafeningly silent as I locked eyes with my girl, my mate.

We had done it. We had beaten Sulpicia!

Sweet Jesus, _we did it!_

And it was all because of my beautiful, sweet Mary Alice Brandon, come back from the dead like a godsend.

Slowly, her face broke out into a cheeky grin.

Laughter, hysterical, joyful laughter started bubbling up in me as she said, "What did I tell you about making bets against someone who can see the future?"

And I didn't even care that _I_ was the one to tell _her_ that it was dumb to do that.

I only cared that it was true.


	41. Right Where You Want to Be

The room exploded with noise that left me cringing, but it didn't even matter because suddenly all the Cullens were yelling and bolting for Alice, and she was bolting for _me_.

You know those scenes in the movies where the two main characters reunite after a long period of time and it's just a slow motion run into each other's arms with some silent, epic, tongue twisting kiss?

Well, this was the complete opposite of that.

And it was so perfect.

Alice was at me within seconds and we were anything but quiet. She was laughing and her arms were thrown around my neck as she slammed into me and knocked me off of my feet. I was bawling like a baby and I clung to her tiny frame as I fell to the ground on my ass and hiccupped my way through the laughter trying to fight through my crying.

It was absolutely pathetic, really. I was saying unintelligible words in her ear, things along the lines of I love you, Don't ever leave me again, I missed you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much…

Her aroma enveloped me in a comforting embrace. Pheromones pumped through the air as cheering vampires around us threw their arms up in celebration of Sulpicia's defeat. I was sitting on my ass with Alice in my lap in the middle of a caved in palace and there was a fist sized hole in my chest made by a bitch we'd killed together after Alice had come back from the dead to do so and I wasn't sure who was still alive and who wasn't but none of it even mattered, _none_ of it.

Because Alice was _here_ and the connection inside of me felt like it had been sewn up with rainbows and sprinkled with fucking-I don't know, fairy dust and glitter and gold and _God_, why did Alice have to feel so good in my arms?

She was making me cry pathetically in front of all these people…

You know what?

I don't even care.

She's alive, _we're_ alive, and we're _together_. I have no goddamn clue how, but I will be forever grateful for the girl perched on my lap and lavishing my neck with affectionate kisses, and my face, and the corners of my lips, running her hands through my hair and whispering to me like we're the only people on the face of the earth.

Even though her family is desperately dancing on their toes around us and Rosalie and Esme look like they're about to let all inhibitions about my newborn possessiveness after getting my mate back and hug us both to death anyway.

"What the hell-Alice? _Alice_-what the fu-"

"Rose, language!" Esme reprimanded without sincerity in a teary voice.

"But, Alice-"

Poor Rose sounded as confused and joyous as I had earlier. And why didn't Esme sound that way?

"We did it Bella, we did it. We beat her, we're okay, sweet girl, we _did_ it! _You_ did it, my _beautiful_ Bella," Alice giggled giddily against my lips and I sobbed helplessly against hers, my eyes burning and wet.

Shut up.

Just.

Let me be.

I gave no fucks at that point. I would happily cry my pitiful heart out, if it hadn't already fallen through the gaping hole in my chest, in front of everybody, because I had Alice back.

"I'm dreaming, I'm so dreaming," I panted against her mouth as her nails gently scraped down my scalp, raking tingles across the back of my skull and making me dizzy with bliss. "You're back, Alice, _Alice_."

"I know, I know, I'm here…I'll tell you baby, I'll tell you everything, but we still have things to take care of. Starting with that-that _hole_ in your chest! Bella, what were you _thinking_-Bella? _Bells_-hey, Bella! _Bella!_"

It seemed that now that my body had gotten used to the shock of seeing my mate back and taking down Sulpicia and finally just being free to feel something other than terror…

My body had remembered that it was, indeed, royally messed up.

I think I was still grinning like mad when my head thudded into the floor and everything went dark with nothing but Alice's sweet voice echoing in my ear.

* * *

When I awoke, I was in a dark room and felt like the heart attack victim of twenty big Macs in one sitting. I was panicked for a split second and I actually lurched upwards, my mind screeching about Sulpicia and having to fight her and, and, and-

Oh. There was something impossibly gorgeous invading my vision.

"Bella, no, sweetheart, lay back," Alice hissed at me. She was on her feet and gently easing me back by my shoulders as I winced at the jolt of pain shooting through my chest.

"Alice, what, where-"

"Don't you dare start in on me with your questions, Isabella. It's a wonder you're not _dead_. Lay _down_, Bella," Alice commanded in a voice that made me instantly comply in the middle of my struggles to get back up and find out what all was going on, and embarrassingly, a twinge of arousal twitched through me.

Dominant Alice.

It had been quite a long time since I'd seen that side of her…

I was startled at the effect it had on me. One part of me liked it, loved it really, and another part of me, what I was practically sure were my newborn instincts, rebelled against it.

But I wasn't really in any condition to go vamping out, thank fuck. Stupid instincts.

I shouldn't even be thinking about that at a time like this! Focus!

"I can't believe you even got yourself into this situation! I leave you for what- a week? And this is what you get yourself into?" Alice was shaking her head at me, muttering under her breath about me being ridiculous and like a small child, and _seriously_?

I really didn't think I'd done that bad of a job without her!

…Okay.

I realize the stupidity of that statement.

I'd done absolutely terrible in handling things without Alice around to help me and guide me through the madness.

But that's not really surprising, is it?

I watched, endeared and aching as she resituated me in the bed I appeared to be lying on, all the while grumbling her concern over me under her breath. It was soft and cool and roomy, enough for her to sit down Indian style next to me after pulling the white linen sheets back up over my chest. I managed to catch a glimpse of my chest and was astonished to see the hole that had been there before I'd passed out –which I hadn't known vampires could do, by the way- almost completely healed up, with only a jagged crack arching down between the valley of my breasts, right next to my heart.

An inch to the left and it would have been a killing blow…

Did I mention I was topless? No bra and all?

Jeez, you would think after everything I wouldn't be shy about being seen that way, but my girl was so perceptive that she only put the covers over me and let me retain my modesty as best as she could.

I felt her weight settle comfortably next to me as her legs pressed to my ribs and her hand cupped my right cheek tenderly, honey eyes watching me with a softness that made my heart ache.

Holy _fuck_ I had missed her so much.

And I had so, so many questions.

Starting with, how are you alive, maybe? How did you find us? How did you know that plan would work? Where is everyone? Where are we? What's happened to the Volturi now that Bitch-Face is dead?

I had just opened my mouth to frantically word vomit all those questions out and maybe tell her how much I loved her and missed her for the millionth time since we'd reunited, maybe go for a kiss because I really, really wanted to feel her lips on mine again…

But of course, she beat me to it.

Damn future seeing powers.

"Bella, I can see your mind racing a thousand miles a minute, sweetheart. Relax, we're safe here. Everything is alright now. I promise you. Nothing's going to hurt us now. You can bet on that," Alice's eyes twinkled and she winked down on me, her thumb circling my cheek.

She read me like an open book.

"I'll answer all your questions, Bells. But I need you to calm down, because you're still not fully recovered. I'm surprised you're even conscious right now. Carlisle said you'd be out for another day…"

Well, at least Carlisle's alive. I wondered what kind of condition he was in.

Her hand gravitated towards my hair and she pushed it back at the roots, drawing a heavy purr out of my throat that send an ache through my chest that was definitely worth it. Her fingers were magic on my scalp and she smirked down at me.

The sight of that familiar expression made me feel weak and tingly all over. It was Alice, in all her cocky, affectionate glory.

My needless breath hitched as she leaned down and brushed her nose across mine, her sweet breath puffing across my mouth.

"You're like a kitten, Bella. You purr just like a sweet. Little. Kitten," Alice giggled and dotted my lips with chaste kisses with each of her last three words before I huffed and pressed our lips together firmly, drawing my hand up to the back of her head to keep her close to me. Her feathery locks felt amazing between my fingers and she hummed against my mouth.

Fireworks, ladies and gentlemen. They burst behind my eyelids and I whimpered against her when she teasingly swiped the tip of her tongue between my lips before growling ruggedly and pulling back.

"Stop it," she murmured and I peeled my eyes open to look at her, helpless.

I couldn't stop myself. Every touch of hers made me drunk, high. I just needed her close to me.

"_Why?_" My voice was a broken, pitiful whine that made that smirk pull at her pretty pink lips again and drive me crazy with want for her physical and emotional attention.

What questions did I have again?

"Because as much as I would love to reacquaint myself with your mouth, and trust me, there will be _a lot_ of that later, you need to rest, and I need to fill you in," Alice replied easily and pulled herself away from my face, eyebrow arching as I sighed weakly and reached for my chest as another wave of pain rocked me.

Jeez, it still hurt like hell, even almost fully healed.

Alice's hand caught mine halfway there and she held it gently, her slim, dexterous fingers curling into the curve of my palm as mine did the same in hers.

She held it and gave me an encouraging smile as I took a deep breath and looked up at her to properly meet her eyes.

I wasn't completely sure of where to begin here. There were so many questions burning in my mind that I couldn't pick one to touch on first and I gave Alice a sheepish look. I opened and closed my mouth several times before huffing in exasperation, about to just start blurting all my thoughts like a dork.

"How about we just start from where we left off?" Alice inquired quietly as I floundered like the dweeb I was.

And once again, my mate read me like my thoughts were written all over my skin and she could see every single one.

Was she sure that she didn't have some mind reading powers locked up in that beautiful mind of hers? It wouldn't surprise me.

"That…Sounds good to me," I agreed, nodding slightly. "But don't let go of my hand," I added, almost childlike in my need to remain in contact with her. I felt her squeeze my digits gently and she slowly eased my hand up to her mouth where her cool lips brushed across my knuckles.

She smiled through the kissing of my hand before lowering it back down to the bed where her other one joined them. She held my hand between her palms while I lay there, unable to do anything but swoon and give her a dopey, lovesick look.

God, I love her so much…

"Wouldn't dream of it, love," she replied charmingly.

We were quiet for a moment, just sharing the time we had together as Alice gathered herself.

I felt deeply at peace. I knew the answers were going to come. I felt calm and secure with Alice next to me. Her pheromones were in the air, soothing me, making me almost drowsy next to her. I wondered if I was putting off pheromones towards her, too. I hoped so. I wanted her to feel as content as I did in that moment, there with her, safe and sound.

"You know what it takes to kill a vampire, right?" Alice asked me quietly and I nodded slowly.

"Then you know that if the spine is severed from the brain, we die. And Sulpicia dropped me off of some very, very high bluffs…"

I had to close my eyes to fight the growl threatening to burst out of my newly healed chest. Flashes of what she was telling me danced in front of my eyes and it made me incredibly anxious.

I didn't want to relive it, but she had to start from the beginning.

"Well, when I hit that first layer of rock, I think it weakened my skin badly. And when I hit the second layer, head first…It broke my neck, badly, Bella. Carlisle says that in order to kill a vampire, you have to completely shut down the brain from the body. The only explanation he can come up with is that some of my cells, some very tiny, life saving cells, kept me connected. The impact probably saved my life, though…"

I gave her a confused look and she smiled gently down on me.

"The double hit slowed me down enough so that the impact of the water didn't kill me. But, for all intents and purposes, I might as well have been dead. I heard you screaming, though…In the back of my mind, even though everything was dark and I thought for sure I was a goner…I heard you calling out for me…That hurt, Bella. It hurt worse than anything else could have…If anything was going to kill me, that would have been it," Alice squeezed my hands tightly in hers and my chest tightened.

I knew my eyes were shining.

What must it have been like for her, down in the depths of that river, floating along with nothing but my screaming in her ear?

"It hurt so much, Alice. I can still barely believe you're back and here with me again," I responded, my heart squeezing.

"I felt it too, you know. I felt our connection snap. It was _all_ I could feel, slamming into rocks and going in and out of this weird, dark limbo of consciousness while I floated along. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I couldn't even pry open my eyes. But…It didn't sever completely. Because I didn't die, we remained connected by the very fiber of our DNA. Barely," Alice went on as I listened intently. "It's a miracle I survived, even for a vampire…"

Talk about a close call…

"It's a shame Esme and Carlisle never told us that when your mate dies, so do you. You wouldn't have-maybe it wouldn't have been so terrible if we knew what that agony meant at the time…Bella, do you remember when Esme told you to look at Laurent in the Volturi palace?" Alice inquired as I blinked curiously.

"Yeah. She told you about that? I didn't get it when she did…I mean, he looked…Well…_Dead_…" I spoke haltingly as my brain started to catch up to what she was saying.

I think I get it now…

Wow, all this would have been awesome to know earlier.

"She told me everything I missed. And he was, Bella. It happened when Rosalie killed Victoria. I don't completely get it because it's kind of complicated, but you wouldn't have been able to produce that rage and hurt if I was really dead. You'd have just sort of…Faded away. You would have shut down completely. There would have been no ability to cope. No reprieve. Your mind would have shut off," Alice informed me, her thumbs brushing my hand absentmindedly as she spoke.

"But…As it was," Alice continued, shrugging her shoulders as if to say _Oh well, too late now_.

Sigh. Whatever. Might as well get over it. I'm definitely not going to sit here and wallow in the memory of that pain. It would break me down all over again. Still, it explained why Esme didn't believe us when we told her Alice was dead.

She couldn't be if I was still alive and kicking.

I still didn't fully understand how any of that worked scientifically. I would have to ask Carlisle, wherever he was. I hoped he was doing better than he had been the last time I'd seen him.

But it's kind of hard not to get better at the condition he was in…

Optimism, right?

"I floated about three miles down the river before I got caught on a stray branch. I was waterlogged and as unconscious as it gets for a vampire. We only get that way when everything is shutting down inside us. Basically close to death. That's why it scared the hell out of me when it happened to you. I'm still pissed at you for that, by the way. I can't believe you thought you could kill Sulpicia all by yourself," Alice, again, broke off from her story to reprimand me for my stupidity.

I pouted my bottom lip out a little.

"You don't think it was kind of reasonable for me to want to try after thinking she had killed you?" I grumbled back and she rolled her eyes.

"Of course it was. It was also unbelievably _stupid_. You could have been _killed_, Bella. You almost were! _Right after_ we got each other back," Alice argued and squeezed my hand again, tighter this time.

I sighed up at her. I knew she was only angry at me because she loved me and I had scared the crap out of her.

I hadn't _meant _to.

I hadn't even known she was alive!

I had thought that I had nothing left to lose. I hadn't planned to get a piece of my chest knocked out.

Still, I saw where she was coming from. I felt bad, too, at the look on her face.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know it was dumb. I just wanted to hurt her for what she'd done to you. I couldn't stand it. Just…Finish your story, okay? I still need to know what happened," I pleaded with her to forgive me for my insane idiocy.

Thankfully, she softened. The sight made my stomach flutter with butterflies.

"Oh, Bella, I don't mean to be so upset…I just can't stand the thought of losing you, especially right after I got you back…" Alice relented.

"I know. I've been there, too," I reminded her and she nodded before going on with her tale.

"Anyways…I'm not sure how long I hung there, suspended by my shirt on that branch. But eventually, someone came and got me. You'll never guess who it was…"

"Doubt it. Tell me."

Alice laughed. "Remember Tanya?"

My eyes widened in surprise.

Her? Really?

_How_?

"What? I thought we left her with the Memento Mori!"

"Who do you think those vampires were, Bella?" Alice chuckled. "Tanya was their leader. She followed us-"

"Hold on, I thought the Memento Mori was fake! Sulpicia said-"

"Sulpicia's an excellent liar, Bella," Alice said with a cock of her eyebrow.

Did she really fake me out by lying about a lie?

Are you _kidding _me?

"I hate that bitch," I scowled and Alice laughed again.

I could listen to her laugh forever, I swear. Like bells on the wind…

"Yes, the Memento Mori was real. Sulpicia planted a fake one in the forest to recapture us, and keep the wolves from killing us. Turns out, she managed to attract the attention of the real revolutionary leader in the process. Tanya is…Quite cunning…She managed to get in on it with some of her own followers. She knew Laurent and Victoria were part of the Volturi so when she heard about what was happening in the forest, she planted herself on the inside, claiming to be loyal to the Royalty, to find out what was happening. You know, the Memento Mori really was looking for you, Bella. They'd heard of us and wanted to recruit us to the cause, which was taking down Sulpicia the Tyrant. Imagine her surprise when we all showed up and started eating up Laurent and Victoria's bullshit sob story…"

I felt a vicious surge of reoccurring hatred for Sulpicia.

She really just thought of everything, didn't she? A double lie just unbelievably pisses me off.

"Why was she so bitchy towards you then?" I asked uncertainly.

My eyebrows shot up when Alice's eyes narrowed and she growled quietly.

"She _likes _you."

I pursed my lips a little as Alice glared down at me as if that were somehow _my_ fault.

And yes, jealous Alice still turns me on.

Maybe I'm just depraved.

"Well, I figured as much…"

Alice only scowled a bit and rolled her eyes.

"This is all beside the point. She followed us. She's really…_Sneaky_. She caught up to us in Phoenix and was going to try and tell us everything, but then Rose showed up and she never really got the chance. She saw Sulpicia drop me over the cliff and saw your reaction to it. She couldn't grab you two when you were going off like that, and she had to get to me quickly. She knew I wasn't dead, so she found her way down and tracked me down the river, where she found me. Tanya pulled me from the water and dragged me to a car she'd stolen to follow our taxi. It was hidden about a mile away. She left me there, hidden away and near death. I think she wanted to try and go tell you guys what was up, but by the time she'd managed to hunt down enough blood to force feed me to make sure I'd survive, you guys were gone."

"Well then you can't hate her too much. I mean, she did kind of save your life…" I said slowly. "I know I'm grateful for it…"

Alice's look silenced _that_ particular train of thought with another livid look and I blushed weakly under it.

Yep, don't attempt to make Alice like Tanya. Not happening.

"Whatever, she still shouldn't try to mess with someone else's mate. She's insufferable, by the way. While I'm lying there in all my agony and heartbreak, she had _so _much to say about how nice your abs are and how if I didn't pull through, she'd comfort you for me. It's a really terrible way to give someone a pep talk," Alice snapped.

It doesn't make sense how sexy she is when she's angry or jealous. I almost squirmed with desire, but her soothing pheromones and my weakness kept any of my more wild instincts from taking control.

But still, Tanya's pretty bitchy if that was how she was trying to get Alice back together…

"It took me three days to fully recover," Alice continued after shaking her head in disgust. "I fought my way back to full health, as hard as it was. By the time I could walk unsupported, Tanya was dragging me to an airport. The whole time I was incapacitated, I kept having visions of you and Rosalie. I saw you being chased by the wolves, I saw you run right back to the Volturi as Sulpicia had figured you would have to if you came back, and I saw you make that idiotic deal to fight her. I also saw that earthquake that would be happening. It was a 7.5 on the Richter scale, by the way. So when Tanya had finally managed to get us back to her people in Cecina, a little ways away from Volterra, I was already forming ideas."

_That's_ what that was? God, I'm so dumb! Of course that's what it was! I had thought when Volturi palace began breaking apart that the world was ending or some other such nonsense in my fear.

"I got us all moving on my plan, despite Tanya's resistance. She can't stand having someone else take control, so I had to fight her on that. We were almost too late. We had to mobilize a huge group of vampires to Volterra and into the city in broad daylight, but there was nothing else for it. No less would be able to take down Sulpicia or save you and my family. Thankfully, your little dash through the city scared everybody into their homes so no one really saw us. We all got on top of the domed roof of the Court and waited for the quake to start up. When the roof went down, we went in. It was simple, really. I knew where each bit of debris would land and who would live or die. Chelsea, most of the guard, Marcus, Caius, and Aro were killed in the rain of marble…Thank God, we all survived. Emmett got pummeled, though…"

Alice hesitated here and I waited patiently for her to go on. The pheromones in the room continued to keep me drugged up with security so it wasn't hard to wait, despite the furrow of her brow.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Bella…Aro saved your life. He also saved Carlisle's. When it all started coming down, he got you both out of the way. But he was killed doing so. That piece of ceiling coming down on you was too big to stop or dodge. He sacrificed himself for you, Bella. And I saw it coming in my visions…I don't know how to feel about that…" Alice admitted slowly.

I blinked in astonishment.

Aro?

Saved my life?

I felt a sudden rush of sympathy for the poor man. He had never really wanted any of this. He was just another piece on the chessboard in Sulpicia's game and he'd paid the price of it with his friends and his mind…

But in his last moments, he had given everything just to keep me and his old best friend alive…

Oh, Aro…

I felt sadness for him bloom in my chest as Alice chewed her bottom lip.

"I…Didn't hate Aro. He…Didn't deserve what happened. He never really was like his wife. Sulpicia manipulated his feelings, controlled his mind and used him…He's the only reason they didn't kill her when she deserted the Volturi. He really did love her, but they weren't mates…But there was nothing I could do to change it, Bella. It was him or you. I picked you. I can't feel badly about that."

I looked to Alice and frowned.

"I don't think that you should. Aro's death…It sucks, but it's not on you. I don't blame you. You know I'd have picked you over everyone else in that room, too…" I replied quickly at the guilt in her face.

Alice smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Well, you know the rest from there. Sulpicia never understood the connection of mates, either, hence why she pursued Esme so relentlessly, so she had no idea I would be there. We killed her, and then you blacked out. Your body was shutting down from all the stimulation of using Rosalie's powers-well, your powers, too, now, and the hole Sulpicia knocked in you strained them too much. Carlisle says the only reason you didn't pass out sooner was because my pheromones stimulated you enough to keep you moving…"

At the mention of her adoptive father, I felt more questions return to me.

"Which reminds me, where is everyone? And where are we? How did you get everyone out of there?" I asked.

"We picked you up and made for the edge of the city, headed for Tanya's place in Cecina. That's where we are now. We ran into the wolves. I met Jacob, by the way. We almost fought when he started yelling at me about changing you," Alice grimaced here. "But he's…Calm, for a puppy. He apparently defeated the old Alpha of the pack and took control. Esme talked him into a deal."

She paused for a moment and I let that sink in.

Well damn…Jake took control of the pack? I had a feeling their Alpha wolf was that big black fucker that had chased us into the palace. If he could take down that monster and he was still a 'puppy'…

My friend was stronger than I knew. It pained me to know that I would probably never really be able to reestablish our friendship together, what with the differences of our kind. I contemplated ways of reaching out to me once we got home…

Alice was watching me carefully. She inhaled deeply before she spoke again. It made me nervous.

What could it possibly be now?

"Bella…The deal was, they let us go, and we…We never return to Forks, Washington."

My breath caught in my throat at Alice's words.

She can't be serious!

"What? _Never_? But Charlie-he doesn't even know what _happened _to me, Alice, I-"

"I know, Bells. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do about that. If we go back, the wolves will declare war on us. Nobody wants that. Nobody _needs_ that. I'm sorry…"

I let loose a rough growl and immediately regretted it as my chest throbbed. I coughed haggardly and tried to sit up, fighting Alice's hands on my shoulders.

That wasn't fair. That wasn't _fair_!

After everything, some goddamn _mutts _were going to try and tell me I couldn't go back to my home? How could Jake have let that happen? Screw his packs wishes!

Forget that!

"That's crap! Who are they to tell us that? It's none of their business anyway! That's my _home_, Alice, and my father!" I shouted and she hushed me, tried to urge me back to the bed.

"I know, Bella, I know. I love Forks, too, but there's nothing we can do. It's their territory, it always has been. We were just tolerated…"

I swore as I fell back to the bed, huffing and puffing as Alice pulled the sheets back up under my chin, covering my naked breasts, worn out swiftly. I didn't even care at that point.

"I'll never see him again," I panted helplessly, giving Alice a desperate look.

Couldn't she do something, _any_thing to get us back there?

Honestly, I'd never really loved Forks, but it was still the place I'd been and come to know for a good part of my life…

And now I was being told I couldn't go back by some people I didn't even care about…

_God_, it just wasn't _fair_…

My anger and frustration bubbled up inside me and I whined furiously as my eyes started burning again.

"Yes, you will, Bella. You still have his phone number. You can always call him. You know Sulpicia lied about the National Guard, thing, right? He can't pull up that kind of authority just to look for you. But the wolves already have to run damage control in Forks to make people forget all about the Cullens and Isabella Swan. Their leader, an ancient old wolf can erase memories. They're not happy about having to take him all over the place to do that, so going back there isn't a smart idea…"

Damn it. _Damn_ it.

Sulpicia even took away my place to live, my home from me.

"What about my friends? Angela, Mike, Jessica, Eric? What about them, huh?" My voice cracked embarrassingly and I looked up at the white washed ceiling in frustration.

Alice didn't respond this time, just stared down on me with sympathy. She slowly moved to lie down next to me. I felt her arm move easily over my stomach and pull snug against my side. Her face pressed into the crook of my neck as she fit herself against me like a puzzle piece.

She was made to fit with me…

I took deep, calming breaths as more pheromones fluttered through the air, soothing me. I turned my head towards her and buried my nose into her hair, trying to inhale as much of her comforting scent as I could. I whimpered against her and she squeezed me closer.

I just wanted to go _home_…

"It'll be okay, Bella. We'll be okay. We'll find a new place to live…Your friends will miss you, but they'll move on…They'll have to. We _all_ have to, okay? You were out for a couple of days. I did some research. I found your mother, Bells…She's living in Phoenix on the other side of town from Phil…We can go see her someday, soon. Maybe even move out there if that's what you want…Don't look at this like an ending, sweet girl. Look at all the possibilities we have now. We can go anywhere in the world right now, Bella. Any where you want…"

She found my mother?

Good. _Good_. At least one good thing had happened, then, besides Sulpicia's death.

My throat slowly stopped closing up and the tears in my eyes receded. Alice always knew just the right thing to say to make me feel better. She always had the best way of looking at things and putting me back together when I fell apart…

How had I ever lived without her?

I looked down at my beautiful, perfect pixie. I was smitten all over again as she kissed at my neck tenderly. Slowly, a warm purr began to overtake me.

I had to stop thinking of everything like this. We had done it, right? We'd gotten ourselves out of an impossible mess and we were both still alive and okay.

Alice was right, as usual.

I just never was good at looking on the bright side. That was always her job…

"Right now, Alice…I think I'm right where I want to be..." I murmured against her hair, my voice only catching a little.

The things she does to me in so little time should be scary, but right then it was the most comforting thing in the entire world.

I felt her shift uncertainly and then her amber eyes met mine as she lifted her face above mine. We were so close that the tips of our noses brushed. I desperately wanted to kiss away all of my lingering anxiety, but I didn't have to.

Amazingly enough, just seeing her face did wonders for my stress.

"And where is that, Bella?" she asked me cryptically.

I smiled up at her, so much that I felt my nose crinkle as I gave her a watery scoff.

"With you, duh."


	42. Love: The Epilogue

A month passed us by, so fast that it seemed unreal. Time passes in a weird way when you're a vampire. After a week of recovery for everyone while we bummed off of Tanya and lived in her house, we were all fixed up.

Carlisle had been tortured badly by Sulpicia when in captivity. He'd taken the longest to recoup, suffering bad burns on most of his body and bad breaks along his bones and skin. Esme was constantly at his side.

I spoke to him often and he explained a lot of the mate connection to me. Well, after Alice finally let me up so we could go hunting…

He told me in a quiet voice as he lay on a bed in another room of the house about it. Esme never let him talk for more than ten minutes at a time before she shooed me out and barked at him to rest. He always rolled his eyes good naturedly about it though.

"The connections of vampires is one I don't even fully understand, Bella. What I do hypothesize is that we are connected by our very cells. Each Vampriosia cell molds to its specific host. I think that each of these cells creates a certain strain of something, a protein or a ribosome or DNA strand, whatever, and that strain is linked to only one other strain in another. It's just a theory, but it's the best I've come up with so far…"

It made sense to me, sort of. I didn't really dwell on it. Whatever brought me and Alice together so effortlessly didn't need to be understood.

It was there, it was real, and as Esme said once, we didn't even need it to be drawn to each other. We just fit together, personality wise and physically wise.

I also talked to Esme about everything that had happened.

"Don't you hate Sulpicia for everything she did to you, Esme?" I asked one day and she just smiled in a way that told me she was wiser than I could ever hope to be at the moment.

"I don't hate her, Bella. She used to be the love of my life. Her past is why she was the way she was; it doesn't excuse her, but I will always feel for her in my own way. I hate who she became, not who she really was deep down beneath all the crazy and the hurt. I know you can never see it that way because she did the unforgivable and went for your mate. I understand that. I'd be upset if you didn't feel that way. But…It's different for me. Try and find some sympathy in your heart, if you can, Bella. For me?"

She was right. I still hated Sulpicia, even dead and gone.

I could barely draw up any sympathy for her, even though her past was terrible and a reasonable…Reason…For why she was the way she was.

But Esme, she was right. She went for Alice, and I could never forgive that.

I think a lot of it had to do with my instincts. Speaking of which…

Over the course of our stay with Tanya, my behavioral habits came back into the light now that there was nothing else going on to distract from them.

To put it bluntly, I was a downright brat sometimes.

But honestly, what am I supposed to do about my instincts? They're damn near impossible to control!

Oh, and Alice put a stop to Tanya's flirting real quick. We may have been staying at her house, but Alice made it very clear who I belonged to. This did nothing to soothe my instincts as seeing Alice lay down the law one day to Tanya and claim me in a ferocious screaming match that almost ended in a fist fight did wonders for my very active libido.

It ended with something along the lines of Tanya sneering, "A girl of your stature should really find someone her own size because Bella is way too much for you to handle." She gave me a sultry look at this and I squirmed uncomfortably.

And Alice snapping back, "And whores like you should really learn to mix with the desperate people who will take them. Unlike my mate, who needs first class attention." And she'd waggled the fingers of her right hand to taunt Tanya, who snarled back.

Rosalie had diffused the situation by barking that the sexual tension this was causing me would only inevitably end up in a weird lesbian threesome that she didn't want to hear, so would they both please shut up?

Which of course led to Emmett saying he would _love_ to hear that, Alice glaring at her, Tanya scoffing and storming out of the room, Esme sniggering and me blushing with all the blood I still had left in my body.

Good ol' Rosalie…

My newborn self was very impulsive and possessive, and this mix led to a concoction that infuriated all that it touched. I knew my vampire got control of me too easily, made me react too quickly or get angry too often. I was rebellious towards Esme, short tempered with Rosalie, irritable with the boys, and Alice?

Alice wouldn't take any of my shit.

I finally understood what Esme meant when she said she'd help me with my immaturity and newborn instincts.

But this led to something neither of us had truly ever addressed in our relationship together…

Before I was a vampire, I was very much a docile person. I may have been sarcastic in my head, but I liked being kind to people and wanted to make them happy. I liked when Alice took control of me, crawled on top of me with her sexy, dominant self.

When I turned into a vampire, that all changed.

I wanted to be on top. I fought her for it when we kissed, when we had sex, and my god, there was a lot of kissing and having sex during those seven days.

Mm…

Whoa, focus, Bella.

I never wanted to be beneath her. It brought out something primal in me; I wanted to be the one on top. Sometimes I would out wrestle the pixie and take control, but usually she kept me pinned and we ended up having angry sex with lots of growling and frustration on both our parts as I never really, truly submitted.

Our lovemaking, essentially, had become a war.

And as good as that war felt, as _amazing _as that war felt, it was also tiring and left both of our instincts on constant edge.

Even during normal day activities, my instincts called for me to be the dominant one. I hated being told what to do, by Esme or Rose or Alice or anyone who had the gall to request something of me.

It was ridiculous, and I had no control over it. I was not a dominant person, everyone knew that. I was Bella, shy and naive and innocent, not this raging hormonal vampire with a desperate need to be in absolute Alpha female dominance of everything.

The thing is…That doesn't work with Mary Alice Brandon.

She may be short. She may have a petite frame.

But she is anything but submissive.

Alice's personality took up a whole room. She oozed suave confidence and sometimes, yeah, a little arrogance. Not that it wasn't rightly deserved. But still, she had always been the top in our relationship. With vampires, it's much more common to see an established top and bottom role. Alice was always the one that took that dominant role and it worked for us. We _liked_ it that way.

But my instincts prevented that.

And one day, she had enough of my newborn need to take her dominance from her.

We were hunting when it happened. Or supposed to be, according to Alice. I didn't really get why she wanted to as we'd both fed only a day or two before. She'd just muttered something about spending more time together and I'd agreed happily to her wishes.

I was walking ahead of her through the woods about a mile from Tanya's house, trying to pick up the scent of a deer, when she shoved me.

Like, both hands, full out, shoved me from behind.

I nearly face planted, but thankfully, my grace had finally kicked in and I only stumbled forward a few steps before whirling in shock, my eyes wide and a growl rolling out of my chest.

What was her freaking problem?

"Alice, what the _hell_-"

I cut myself off as I caught her expression. Her head was tilted down slightly, so that her amber eyes were piercing me, challenging me. She was all bowed up with her shoulders back and her hands out to the side, claws extended.

My vampire recognized it instantly. I felt my instincts flare up hard.

_She's challenging me for dominance. Take control. Dominate her!_

I growled once, a warning in the back of my throat.

So this was her plan to settle our fighting? A full out, physical test to see who would be on top?

Like when we'd been sneaking onto a plane so long ago, she met me with one of her own feral rumbles. I was dropping to a crouch before I realized it, preparing for what was about to happen. My human side melted away as my instincts took control.

"You want control so badly, Bella? The _big_, _bad_, scary newborn wants to be on top? You think you're good enough to top _me_? Then come and fucking do it!" Alice hissed at me.

Dear god, if I had been human, the sound of her husky, demanding voice would have made me faint in arousal.

Slickened instantly and feeling the challenge strike something primal deep inside me, I bared my fangs at her and bowed up too.

And then I lunged.

We crashed together with a clap of thunder, hissing and snarling.

Don't mistake it for domestic violence; that's not how it works with vampires. We weren't trying to hurt each other as Alice sent me sprawling and we went rolling through the grass. We were just fighting for control, fighting to get the other to back down.

Because vampires are still animals in their own way…

Alice was deceivingly strong. I may have had all these fancy powers, but powers don't come into play with your mate. It's all about brute, physical strength and experience, and honestly, I didn't really have that without lethal provocation and I definitely had less experience than her.

Not that I would ever use my powers on her, never. That was the point; it wasn't about hurting each other, but beating each other in this power play.

We were wrestling on the ground, kicking up leaves and dirt as I tried to roll on top of her and pin her down, my vampire calling for dominance despite how much the true me didn't really want it.

It was no good.

She was _too_ good.

Alice's legs wrapped around my waist and pulled, _hard_. I was yanked down her body with a surprised yelp, and then I felt her surge up and suddenly she was mounted on my waist.

I snarled up at her, baring my teeth and was met with a slap that wasn't meant to hurt me, only stun me. It did its job as Alice caught hold of my flailing arms and slammed my wrists into the ground next to my head.

Well.

Fuck.

There was no getting out of her iron grip. How was she so _strong_?

I wriggled and struggled and snapped my fangs at her and bucked but nothing would unseat her. I could _not_ get out from beneath her for the life of me, despite my best efforts.

"That's it, baby. Let it all out," Alice sneered down on me, her eyes and her hair wild, looking unbelievably sexy and completely in-freakin'-control of the situation despite her look. She rode my rocking waist like a cowgirl in a rodeo and I couldn't shake her. Her fangs glinted at me and my instincts roared defiantly.

In my vampiric state, I threw all my power into my hips and bucked as hard as I could, unsettling her hips and her grip on my wrists enough so that I could spin in some haphazard, last ditch attempt to get out from under her and keep fighting for dominance, but Alice was already on me again.

Jesus, she was unrelenting. It still sends shivers through my spine thinking about it.

Her hands snapped closed around my wrists again and they were wrenched around my back and pinned to the lower half of it. I felt her lovely little body flatten mine out on the ground and her hips dug into my ass as I was pinned, wholly to the earthy floor.

I whined helplessly, feeling the desperation flood me. I writhed, but my legs were sprawled out between hers and useless, and my arms were held in her death grip, going nowhere.

"Mm, tell me _all_ about it, Bells," she groaned into my ear. I continued squirming, crying out in frustration as she effortlessly owned me.

It was done, whether my newborn instincts would accept it or not. I struggled fruitlessly for another minute as Alice held me down and slowly raked her fangs along the tender skin where my neck met my shoulder.

I keened vulnerably and just like that, I was submitted.

Alice had finally wrangled control of my newborn need to top her.

I felt myself go limp beneath her as she growled into my ear and breathed her sweet breath into the back of my neck.

Her body just felt _so_ good covering mine…What could I even do to fight it anymore? I didn't _want_ to fight her anymore.

"That's it, Bella. Good girl, such a _good _girl," Alice whispered patronizingly into my ear. I moaned wantonly, aroused beyond belief by our wrestling and finally being able to just _give in_ to her.

It all just felt so good when Alice took control…

"Hmm, is that _it_, Bella? Was that all you could do? I expected more of a fight from you after all your newborn swagger behavior…" Alice giggled coquettishly, still speaking directly to my eardrum and letting her seductive, sexy voice rebound off of it until I was dizzy with need.

I was still too vamped out to speak. I lay there, panting into the ground with the cool dirt pressed against my cheek.

Slowly, her grip on my wrists loosened and she pushed my arms out above my head, straightening them until our fingers were laced tightly, her palms to the backs of my hands. It was another sign of her complete control as I didn't fight her at all, let her move me in whatever way she saw fit.

"God, I always did love it when you let go like this, when you just let me love you," Alice murmured against my cheek as she resettled herself against my back, her soft, small breasts pressing between my shoulder blades and making me long for her, making me _yearn_.

"Poor, poor Bella, all worn out and helpless…_Fuck_, you smell good," Alice suddenly groaned and I felt her buck her hips, felt the rugged scratch of her jean shorts through my thin cotton t-shirt.

I felt the promise in the slow movement of her hips that sensually rolled against the base of my spine. I had given into her, and she was going to reward me with pleasure.

Why did this have to be so animalistic and _good_?

And why did she always have to talk when we did this?

It never changed. Her voice was my aphrodisiac, pulling at my insides and drawing me up higher and higher until it was the only thing I could hang on to.

And using this whole power play between us struck that instinctive cord inside me, made it twice as effective.

"Did you really think…That you could _top_ me, Bella? No, sweetheart, _no_, that's not how this works…" Alice hissed against the corner of my mouth. I moaned again, needy as she kissed me roughly, over my shoulder and straining for my lips. Her tongue darted into my mouth, teased at my sanity as I remained pliant to her hunger.

She pulled away and I whined for more, my mouth tingling with our venom. She only giggled against my lips.

"I'm on top, Bella. Not sometimes, not occasionally, _always_. You will always be my sweet, shy Bella. Being a vampire doesn't change you as a person. You are still that needy little bottom, aren't you, baby? Don't worry; I'll take care of you. I always do…" Alice promised as her lips trailed back over my shoulder and her hands unlaced from mine.

It was true, all true. I wasn't meant for the life of a top; I liked having her hold me and take care of me and give me everything she had before taking whatever I had left to give for her own pleasure. We had always had that kind of sexual dynamic, and although being changed had thrown it off, she was resetting it now.

It was driving me insane with need.

Her hands trailed a blazing, tingling path all the way down until she gripped my left shoulder tightly in her left hand and hissed "Keep them there."

I obeyed without question.

It was the hottest thing ever as she completely owned me, whispered filthy things to me and pushed my shirt up over my back, even though it was pinned down on my front side. I arched at an awkward angle and cried out sharply as her nails raked along my back, the pain only driving me into an even slicker state than before. I fisted leaves and mewled as she crooned in my ear, murmuring insincere apologies and rubbing the smooth muscles of my back.

I was going to die. Alice was going to kill me and I was going to love every second of it.

"Shh, shh, Bells…Mm, I know what you want. Do you want me to do it, Bella? Do you want me to give you what you want?" Alice laughed teasingly to me and kissed my neck wetly as I clung to whatever sanity I had left.

Whatever came out of my mouth was something completely inelegant and garbled, a desperate plea.

Charming, I'm sure.

"What was that? Use your words…I don't care if you're vamped out right now, I want to hear your voice, Bella," Alice growled commandingly to me.

Fucking…

She actually grabbed a fistful of my hair in her hand and yanked it back, pulling it at the roots. None came out but the resulting sting was even better than the sting of her nails on my back.

Goddamn.

Just…Goddamn.

I mewled again, a pathetic kitten, just as she'd named me. I felt her teeth sink into the column of my throat as she lurched over my right shoulder to get at it.

I think I orgasmed a little, right then. She had never been so rough and demanding of me, but it was all that I could do to get more of it. It was freeing, exhilarating, _amazing_ how good it all felt as I squeezed my thighs together, struggling to soothe the aches of pleasure shooting through my sex.

Vampire sex was more than I could have ever hoped for.

"_Please_," I got out through a weak breath, trying to find the ability to talk through my haze of need.

Alice kept my head pulled back and her lips close to mine.

"Please what, Bella?" she purred and I almost lost it.

"_Please_, Alice, please, _touch me_. Touch me, you said you'd take care of me, you _promised_. You wanted control of me and you got it so just _take me_, Alice, _please_," I gasped out, finally recalling my human senses because I knew if I didn't, she'd never give me any sort of relief.

Is it sad if that is the dirtiest response she's ever gotten from me?

…Yes.

But whatever, it worked, _definitely_ worked for Alice.

She growled roughly and kissed me swiftly before pulling back across my shoulder until she had sunk her hips down beneath mine. I felt her hands latch onto my elbows and jerk my arms back until she held them there at my sides. She released one, only briefly to reach down and rip my shorts and soaking underwear off, exposing me to the air before she had my arm clamped back in her palm.

And then, like a cool breeze on a hot Summer's day, I felt her strong, toned thigh pushing up between mine.

I cried out like the newborn I was as her naked skin met mine. With her thigh wedged snugly against me, Alice began to rock into me. I felt her jean shorts rubbing roughly along the back of my own thigh as she pulled it between hers.

"You want it, Bella? Then _take it_," Alice hissed into my ear and we both moaned as she rutted into me, like an absolute animal.

"So fucking-_fuck_, so dirty, Bella, so _wet_. You love this, humping like animals in a forest, don't you?"

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking!

I couldn't take the sound of her voice. She always said the things that would embarrass me and therefore gratify me the most.

I was gripped in nothing but the stroke of her silky cool skin along my sex, the way I slid effortlessly down her leg and coated her in my pleasure.

So good, so good, so good…

I bucked against her, moaning and mewing and praising her, deities, whatever left my mouth. I dug my nails into the earth as we rocked, forward and back, the rhythm driving me mad. She moved her hips like a fluid dancer, driving me up higher as her pale thigh slid over me, again and again, my clit gliding along her length. She moved as if she could actually _fuck_ me, and the thought practically sent me over the edge as her sex pressed against me, too, damp, even through the fabric of her shorts.

She had me mounted as if I were her bitch in heat.

She kept pushing me higher and higher and I had no idea how she could still speak coherently anymore because I was already out of my mind.

The things this girl _does _to me…

"Say my name, Bella," Alice breathed against my neck. Her voice was strained, the sound of bliss so close to her heart. I loved the way she sounded when she was close…

"Say it!" she growled out and I rutted against her leg, shamelessly.

"Al-Alice-_Alice_, I-oh fuck, _Alice!_"

Her wish was my command. Her name flew from my lips in a never ending mantra as our movements reached a fever pitch. She was hitting me in the best spot, perfectly, riding me hard into the earth.

I was _right there_.

"Alice, Alice, _Alice!_" I cried as the intense pleasure flooded me. I quaked beneath her, trapping her thigh in a vice like grip. I squeezed her with everything I had and felt a flash of pain as she bit into my shoulder and moaned her own ecstasy around it.

The bliss of her pheromones flooding my brain let loose the endorphins in my head. I flooded her leg as I seized, whimpering through the unstoppable spasms claiming my most intimate muscles.

It was the dirtiest sex we'd ever had as we came to a slow stop a minute later, the push and pull of our hips slowing as we rode it all out.

When it was all said and done, we were totally silent except for our needless panting. She rolled me over gently and her sweet lips touched mine immediately. We kissed languidly as she settled down on top of me, sighing into my mouth as I swooned.

Well.

That took care of that.

"Was that too much?" Alice inquired as soon as we broke apart and she looked down at me uncertainly. "Did I hurt you, Bella? Did I make you uncomfortable? I didn't mean to go so overboard-"

"No, that was _awesome_. Really, _really_ awesome. We should do that again some time. Like…In the next five minutes. When I can feel my legs again," I replied like a dork, babbling up at her as I continued to bask in my post-orgasm afterglow.

How could she even think I hadn't enjoyed that?

Alice smirked down at me, eyebrow quirking.

"I never knew how _kinky_ you were, Ms. Swan. Why didn't you tell me this before? We could have been having so much more fun," Alice purred and I blushed lightly.

"I'm not, I mean…I'm sorry I've been such a brat lately," I quickly changed the subject, completely mortified.

I was not…_Kinky_.

I wasn't!

…Shut up.

Alice only raised both of her eyebrows, gave me a knowing look, and then let it go, thankfully.

So. Damn. Embarrassing.

"It's fine, Bella. I'd be surprised if you weren't. You're still a baby as far as vampires go. I'm sorry for pushing you. And…Well, starting our little wrestling match. I didn't know how else to get your Alpha need under control…" Alice apologized and I smiled fondly up at her.

"It's fine. We both know I've never been much of a top," I confessed and she smirked than damn smirk at me again.

"Clearly," was all she said before leaning down to kiss me again.

The kiss was soft and sweet and tender like our kisses always were after our lovemaking. It made me purr deep in my healed chest as she rested her elbows next to my head and gently explored my mouth.

"I love you," she whispered to me when we parted after a long, deep kiss.

My heart soared as it had always done when she said this to me. I would never get over this girl. I would never get over how completely and utterly in love I was with Alice Cullen. She was so, so amazing to me.

As I stared up into her darkened golden eyes and watched her short, messy hair fall over her lovely jaw, I knew that everything had been worth it.

All the pain, all the suffering and heart ache I'd gone through, all the shit with Sulpicia and everything else we'd been through was worth it.

Because I had Alice, everything was worth it. I would never trade her for anything, wouldn't go back and change a thing.

She was my mate, my lover, my everything.

"Alice," I said her name quietly; afraid to break the trance we were in. Her eyes twinkled down at me.

"Hmm?"

"You once promised me you'd give me the whole galaxy and all the stars in it; that you would prove to me that no star would ever make you burn as brightly as I do…" I murmured her words back to her, watched them echo across her face as she furrowed her brow before lighting up cutely in recognition.

"Yeah…"

"You did it," I chuckled, suddenly teary eyed. "You did it, Alice. I believe you. I'm so fucking glad I gave you that chance. I will never regret _anything_ that happened between us, or how we got here because I have you, and it was so worth it, Alice, _so_ worth it…"

Alice's face softened impossibly, her eyes filling almost immediately.

It was melodramatic and we both knew it by the way we giggled at each other and she lowered her forehead to mine, our eyes close, intimate.

"I want to do the same for you. I want you to feel as amazing as you have made me feel, Alice. I want you to feel what I feel so badly that it _hurts_. I need you to know that I love you as much as you love me and more," I admitted, trying to convey the weight of my heart to her even though I'd never been good at verbalizing my love.

Was there even a way to let someone know about a feeling like this? This undying feeling that consumed all of me?

Alice's eyes screwed shut and she released a shaky breath that puffed across my lips. When they opened again, my breath caught and my stomach flipped at how brightly golden they seemed to be.

"God, Bella, you don't know how you make me feel, do you? I have loved you for _so long_ and it only gets stronger and stronger because you are so, _so_…Amazing. What you just said is everything I've ever hoped for, what I _need_, Bella. And I know it, I know it by the way you're looking at me right now. Don't ever doubt that I love you, and I will never, _ever _doubt that you love me. Everything you've gone through proves it to me, the same as what I've been through proves it to you. _I love you_, Bella, I love you…"

My heart was gone. It lifted right out of my chest and touched to hers, cliché as it sounds. I was a part of Alice and she was a part of me and it was so perfect that I just wanted to die right there with that feeling pulsing through me.

So perfect that I wanted to die. Wow. I sound like those preppy teen girls in commercials always do when they talk about boys.

Ugh, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I loved Alice, loved her beyond measure…

We kissed again for a long time. Whispered sweet nothings to each other as the sun warmed us gently through the tree canopy.

We only moved when it started to go down.

"What am I going to do about clothes?" I sighed and pulled leaves out of my hair as we both sat up.

Having hot, dirty sex is only fun before you have to start peeling twigs out of your hair.

Alice grinned at me, sheepish. I raised my eyebrow and she only giggled.

"Um…I kind of expected one of us or both of us to need a change of clothes, so I kind of stashed some in that tree over there yesterday. And some blankets," Alice admitted, pointing to a nearby oak tree and I laughed at her audacity.

Of course she knew we would need a change of clothes. She didn't need to see the future to predict what was going to happen when we finally had to work out our problems.

"Blankets?" I inquired curiously and she only looked at me as she stood and offered her hand.

I grabbed it and she pulled me up, dotting a playful kiss to my cheek and slapping my naked ass as I turned towards the tree.

I turned as red as a vampire can go and she snorted adorably as I glared at her. I melted immediately and rolled my eyes at her.

I will never get used to that. I don't think I ever want to get used to that.

"What are the blankets for?" I asked again.

"What do you think?" Alice grinned as she pulled me towards the tree, floating in her effortless gait.

"Why, Ms. Brandon, is this your way of asking me out on a date?" I laughed as she pulled a large bag out from behind the tree she'd indicated.

She looked adorable as she ruffled her already wild sex hair up and pursed her lips as if in deep thought.

"Only if you're saying yes," she finally replied and I giggled like a school girl with a crush.

With Alice, I pretty much am.

"Yes. A thousand times yes," I nodded as she pulled out a fresh pair of underwear for me and some green sweatpants of hers.

Alice beamed at me as I started pulling them on and she traded her own ripped shirt for one of my old black hoodies.

I was stricken dumb for a second at the sight of her breasts bouncing out before they were stolen from my view again.

Nope.

Never gonna get over her. Never ever. Ever.

I didn't even look away when she met my eyes with that coquettish eyebrow raised up again.

"Now if only I'd brought some towels. My leg is dripping," Alice hummed and I choked on my own venom, blushing as much as I could.

"Shut up! Whose fault is that?" I balked and she laughed her lovely laugh before throwing the duffel bag over her shoulder and wrapping her arm around my waist, bumping our hips as she did so.

"Come on, wild thing. I have somewhere I want to take you. Oh, wait, I already did that," she said with an air of realization and I scowled.

Some things never change, and that includes her ability to always, always beat me in a battle of words, especially when we're flirting.

I rolled my eyes at her as she led me deeper into the forest. We were laughing and talking merrily together as she held me close and I had never felt so at peace with the world. We were together and we were safe, able to finally just be with each other.

There were questions I still had, but they all disappeared as Alice led me through a break in the trees and the sound of roaring water met my ears. Tanya's house wasn't far from the mountains, but I hadn't expected to be met with a waterfall and the smell of wet rock and grass.

We had reached the mountains and Alice smiled at me awestruck face as I took in the massive falling water and the clear, clean pool it fell in to. She pulled me gently towards a flat area of grass a little bit away from the trees and then set about the task of pulling out the blankets.

I was still staring when she pulled me down on the blue blanket and kissed me tenderly on the lips as she wrapped her arm around my waist again.

"This is…Beautiful," I breathed out and turned my eyes to her as she laid her head over mine. She peered down on me as the sky darkened, shade by shade and minute by minute. It would be dusk soon.

She looked as serene as I felt.

I snuggled close to her, brushed my nose along her neck as she kissed the top of my head.

"Only beautiful places for beautiful people," she replied easily and I fell that much more in love with her as I wrapped my arms around her and leaned into her, turning my gaze back to the glorious cascade of water roaring down.

I couldn't believe it had all worked out like this.

Things weren't perfect, but they were damn close. I couldn't go back to Forks, but I knew I could still contact my father. I still had the option of reuniting with my mother, and though I would miss my friends, I knew I was right where I needed to be.

I could go anywhere in the world with Alice, do anything with Alice, just be with Alice, for the first time in…Well, ever.

I was, absolutely, irrevocably, in love with her.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt as if the equilibrium of my life had been restored. I had Alice, I had peace, I had everything I needed, no matter what it took to get there.

And as I really sat there and thought about it while Alice gushed over the fireflies that were lighting up the night slowly and coming down on us and rejoiced in her happiness and the way we were starting to shimmer together in the moonlight, it was a pretty epic journey.

Like hey, I met a girl and she was a vampire. We saved the world, sorta, and took down an evil mastermind and then had hot, mind blowing sex.

You jealous?

I chose not to dwell on the fact that all of this was started by a piece of chewing gum…


End file.
